Date: Thu, 29 May 2003 21:01:07 +0200
From: Cliff Smith <cliff69@webmail.co.za>
Subject: My Young Surfer Part 5

I looked at his eyes, they were not the usual green that I had first
noticed, they were bloodshot.  Had he been drinking?  I took another
deep breath and got the smell.  I stared at him, he had being smoking
grass.

"You just like the others, you think us kids have no feelings.  Don't
you know that I love you?  What must I do to prove to you that I do?"
The anger gave way to tears and he let go of my wrist.  The flood
gates were open and the pent up feelings flowed from his young body.
This boy is hurting.  I could not stop myself taking him into my arms
and holding him close to me, his body was shaking.  I held him tight
and could feel the warmth of his body against mine, the sobbing
continued for another few minutes.  'What happened this morning, I
will need to handle this fragile young man carefully'.  I lead him to
the coach and sat him down, he stopped sobbing and tears still ran
down his face, I wiped them off with my hands.  I went to the kitchen
and made him coffee.  He sat watching me, sniffing.  I gave him a
paper towel.  The peculator was doing its thing and my mind also.

I did not notice him as he stood behind me and held me in his arms.  I
did not turn, I waited for him.  He turned me slowly and attempted a
smile, he kissed me lightly on the lips "I'm sorry, I don't know what
came over me".

"I think you need to tell me what happened and where you've been this
morning"

He looked away and walked out the kitchen, and sat on the other side
of the breakfast nook.  I pulled up a chair on the kitchen side and
handed him his coffee, to which I had added a tot of brandy.  He
stared down at the mug, not saying a word.  We sat there in silence
for about 5 minutes before he looked up "I'm really sorry"

I did not answer, I looked straight back at him.  "I think you have
some talking to do"

He looked me in the eyes and tried to smile.  I was not going to
caught by this.  He remained silent.

"I'm listening when you are ready"

"When I left here I went home, and Mom was in a state.  My Dad had
turned up last night, he left home a few months ago for another women.
 He was drunk and abusive towards her.  I hate that man, he drinks.
He has never hit Mom, but has threatened her many times.  To make
things even worse, she told me that my brother was hanging around and
that he was looking for me.  I took my board and went down to the
beach.  I lay out there for a while and thought 'do I need all of this
in my life'.  I wasn't really enjoying myself and I started thinking
about you and decided that I was going to ask you if I could come and
stay with you.  At the beach I met up with one of my brothers buddies
and think you know what he gave me, he said he could see I needed
something to pep me up.  I smoked two joints with him and decided that
I needed to come and talk to you".

He remained quite for a while.  "When I got here and say that guy,
something inside of me just snapped.  I know that I shouldn't smoke
that shit, it makes me aggressive".

He looked at me and said "I think I love you, but understand that life
would not be easy for us, the age, my parents, the other people, but
can we try?"

What was I going to say?  "Andre I don't think we should talk about
this just at this stage.  Not that I don't want too, but as you have
said there is so much more to this and neither of us are in the right
frame of mind to make logical decisions".

"We need to take every day at a time and see where it leads us.  The
guy, Len, and I are very old friends and there is no emotional
feelings between us, it is only sex.  It sure isn't that you haven't
satisfied me in the last day, we just do it whenever we get the
chance.  I don't expect you to understand that at the moment".
I looked at him and could see that he was trying to put on a mature
front, but he was very fragile.
"I think maybe we need a day apart so we can sort out what is going on
in our lives.  I want you to accept that I will visit other people and
that I wont just sit at home waiting for you to come over, you must
enjoy your youth".

I don't think he heard a word that I said.  I could see the exhaustion
of his face, he looked drained.  This boy is a time bomb just waiting
to happen.  I need to help him, other wise he is gonna go off the
rails.  I got up and walked around to him and hugged him.  He leaned
against me.  I took him by the hands and lead him upstairs into the
bathroom.  I opened the taps and adjusted the heat and put some Radox
into the bath.  He stood there expressionless.  I bent down in front
of him and pulled down his wetsuit, not an easy task if you don't know
how.  I stood up and gave him a hug, "take a nice warm bath", closing
the taps.

I left him and went downstairs.  What was I going to do with him, and
what about the braai at Marius?  I can't take him with me, should I
phone and cancel, make an excuse that I was not feeling well.  I
pondered the thought and decided to see what would happen, it was only
4.  I sat on the coach and switched on the TV, don't ask me what I was
watching, it was no doubt kiddies programmes.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed movement on the stairs.  There
was my surfer boy in a pair of my shorts and T-shirt.  He looked
refreshed and there was a smile on his dial, the eyes sparkled.  Was
the Andre that I met yesterday back?  He came down and sat next to me,
and put his hand on my leg.  "I'm really sorry"

"Your apology is accepted.  What are your plans for tonight?"
"I think after this afternoon, I need to go home and see what is going
on"
"Think that's a good idea"
"Do you mind me wearing your clothes"
Smiling at him "I didn't think anything would fit"
"These weren't the only ones I tried on, I know where to come when I
need something grand to go out"
I just shook my head.

"Well I suppose I should head off home" as he moved forward to get up
and stretched out his hands to me.  I stood and we hugged and kissed.
We walked towards the door hand-in-hand.  He kissed me again and
opened the door.

"Bye my old man" with the same smile of this morning when he left.
What was happening to me.

I went to the fridge and took out a Smirnoff Ice and went to sit out
on the patio, lit a cigarette and contemplated the day.  I lost all
track of time.  The ringing telephone brought me back to reality.
Picking up I glanced at the clock, it was 5.30.
"Are you still coming over?"  It was Marius.

"I'm on my way" I blurted out.  Do I really need the company of a
straight couple tonight with a screaming 5 year old.  The change from
the day would do me good.

I packed in a few Smirnoff's, grabbed the braai pack and some rolls
and headed out the door.  'Oh shit I forgot my smokes' and went back
inside.  Maybe I should spray some cologne, no that would be a give
away.  Grabbed a light jersey, because I always get cold as the night
progresses.

I approached the house and noticed that the front door was open.
Knocked and heard him call "Come in".

There he was in the kitchen only with his swimming trunks on,
bare-chested.  He must work bare-chested with that tan.

I put my things down in the kitchen.  "What you going have to drink?"
"Got Ice here in the bag"
"Want a glass?"
"No thanks"
"Sure, less to wash up, since the wife is away"

Did I hear correctly, his wife is away?  Does he know that I'm gay,
what's his story?

We walked out onto the front patio.  I had to admire the well laid out
garden and the built in braai.  His unit also looked towards the
mountain.
"I like your garden"
"Thanks, will tell Maria, she's the gardener and I'm the builder"
"Nice looking braai, what would it cost me?"
"We can discuss that" he said with a smile.

We sat down and I lit up a cigarette and took a deep swing from the
bottle.

++++++++++

We sat chatting about all sorts of things.  He asked me what I did,
and he found it very interesting.  He mentioned that he had started to
study but little Henk's arrival put a stop to that as his
mother-in-law insisted that he marry Maria.  Maria had fallen pregnant
the first time he fucked her at a party.  That's when he got a job
with the construction company.  It did not appear from the furnishing
that I saw, that they struggled.

While he was standing stoking the fire I took a good look at him.  He
had typical rugged farm boy type features, his build was athletic from
hard physical work and not from spending hours in the gym.  I
estimated that he must be about 25 - 26, he had mentioned that he
repeated his first year, so if he was 19 when he went to College, he
could have been 20 when he got Maria pregnant, and Henk must be 5 as
he was going to school next year.

We cooked the meat and I drank too much.  I could feel the effect the
Smirnoff was having on me.  Yes, I was right he was a brandy drinker,
the tots he poured were for sure not singles or doubles, they looked
more like trebles.  We sat eating the meat and rolls that I had bought
along, if I knew that the wife wasn't there I would have made salad -
not that there was much time with the events of the afternoon.

We sat taking in the sounds of the night, both our yards faced onto
the marsh land.  Many nights after the Ex had left, I used to sit out
on the patio and enjoy the comfort of the lonesome nights.

After a long period Marius broke the silence: "have you ever been
married?"

Why this question I thought.  "No"

"Was there no girl who you fancied?"

"Have had numerous female friends over the years"

"Where's you friend that lived with you?"

"He's living in Sea Point"

"How long were you together?"

"About 7 years"

"Fuck that's a long time for ... "

Where is all this leading?  I just wanted a quite evening.  Here I'm
answering all these questions from a straight guy that I hardly have
know for a few hours, and not feeling uncomfortable about it.

There was another period of silence.

"How did you know that you were ... um, different"

What the fuck I thought "you mean gay?"

"Um, yes"

"Um    from school days I knew that I preferred guys to girls.  I had
my first experience with one of my brothers friends"

"Have you ever done it with a girl"

"No"

"Haven't you ever wanted to try"

"No, not really"

Another long period of silence.  "Want another drink?'

"Think my Ice is finished"

"Want some brandy?"

"Why not"

Marius went inside and came out with our drinks.  I took a sip, it
almost took my breath away, it sure must have been a treble.
"Strong enough?"

"Yea, its OK, might just have to crawl home"

He laughed.  "Well I thought we could go for a swim just now to sober
up".

Do I have to go through this again and tell him I can't swim: "You,
not going to believe this, but I can't swim"

He looked at me as if to say your having me on.  "I will be the life
saver then if you need mouth-to-mouth"

I laughed.  Was he camping me or just sending me up.

We fell into silence again and I could now feel that the alcohol and
the stress of the afternoon were taking a toll on me.  The effects of
the booze were warming me up, but I started to shiver.  "Think I
should get my jersey".  I got up and went to fetch it from the
kitchen.

When I came out he looked at me and smiled.  "Maybe a night cap and a
warm shower will warm you up?"

I looked towards him and just ginned.  We finished our drinks without
exchanging another word.  I started to feel him staring at me, I
glanced in his direction and confirmed my suspicion.  He was sitting
there staring straight at me, I could briefly see the uncertain
confused look on his face.

"You gonna make us some coffee, think we both need it"

"Sure, if you tell me where the tings are"  I got up and walked into
the kitchen.  I needed some space.

I filled the kettle and switched it on.  He had also come into the
kitchen and was standing behind me.  I turned to ask which cupboard
the coffee was in, although the container was next to the kettle.

He stood there and looked at me.  "There next to the kettle, you can
be glad it's not a snake"

I turned again and put the coffee into the mugs.

"I want to sleep with you tonight", it was rather faint.  Was I
imagining the voice, was the alcohol playing tricks on me, was I
wishing this is what this man had said.  I held onto to the kitchen
top as my head was spinning.

I turned and looked at him.  "Lets go and have that shower", he
stepped towards me and I lent against the cupboard, he strong arms
embraced me and held me tight against his body.

What is happening in my life, what does the good book say, there will
be days of plenty after the famine.  This was more like a flood than
anything else.

He let go of me and looked me in the eyes.  He did not need to say
another word, he walked out the kitchen and locked the front and patio
doors.  He walked into the bedroom, their main bedroom was downstairs.
 I followed him to the bedroom, he was like a magnet that I could not
resist.  I have always had a weakness for bi guys.  He was already in
the bathroom and in the shower by the time I had reacted to what was
going on - in a few short minutes I was sober.  Here I was going to
shower with a 'straight' man that I had only got to know in the last
few hours.

I stripped down, opened the shower door and stepped in.

---------
If you enjoyed reading about Andre and myself, and want some more
episodes, please contact me at cliff69@webmail.co.za