Date: Fri, 9 May 2003 18:26:24 -0700 (PDT)
From: LZ
Subject: Never Say Never, Nothing is Forever Chapter 7

     Sunday, I wore shoes, my sexy new overalls, no
underpants despite the continuing cold and a jacket, zipped
only at the bottom. I felt as pretty as Georgie.

     Georgie was on the Square with a tall dirty blonde boy
I'd never seen before. He acknowledged my greeting with a
glance then moved on. It hurt. I watched them go, fighting
the temptation to run after Georgie and punch him in the
head. I just couldn't seem to let go of the fantasy image of
Georgie being capable of loving me even if just a little.
Was he doing a sex show with the other boy I wondered? I
turned angrily, bumping into a well-dressed man.

     `Whoa there,' he said with a grin as he caught me in
his hands.

     I backed up a step to go around him, my mind focused on
my jealous anger.

     'Aren't you Georgie's friend?'

     I looked up at him sharply. 'Why?' I asked controlling
the urge to say hell no.

     He was about forty, thickset and still smiling
pleasantly. 'I saw you two together a couple of weeks ago
but you went with somebody else before I could get to you.
You alone?'

     I was too upset with Georgie to say no to anyone who
asked. I just wanted off the Square. And the man looked well
heeled and okay. 'You wanna go out?' I asked him.

     'Sure. Are you hungry?'

     'Yeh, can we go to Tad's?'

     'You like steak?'

     Dumb question, I thought. We ate at Tad's Steakhouse
then went back to the Holiday Inn. The guy really liked to
talk though it did gradually got my mind off what I
perceived as Georgie's unfaithfulness. He asked me
everything, my name and birthday, about my family, school
and friends. I fed him a pasture full of bullshit about my
father who worked as a cop and my football team and all A's
in school. He said his name was Bill. I never believed any
of the names they gave but Bill was better than the usual
John. Anyway, names were unimportant as long as they handed
over some green.

     In the hotel, we went to a large, warm room on the
fourth floor with stuffed chairs, wall-to-wall carpet and a
television. It smelled new. The bed had clean white sheets
and thick pillows, nothing like the flat ones back in the
Holland. The carpet felt sexy under my bare feet. I wondered
what it felt like on my bare body. I took off my jacket,
shoes and overalls and tossed them on the floor. He folded
his clothes and placed them on the dresser. He had a kind
face and recently cut hair just long enough to comb. His
hairy body spoke of weight lifting.

     I sat naked on the carpet. I liked the feel so lay
back, arms behind my head and ankles crossed. Bill watched,
an amused expression on his face.

     'What do you like to do, and where?' he asked,
grinning. That was a departure from the norm.

     'Whatta you wanna do? It's three for you sucking me,
five if I do you, six to swallow your cum.'

     'You're quite the business man, Ray.' He sat down
beside me cross-legged. `But I asked what you'd like to do.
Or would you rather we just talk.' He still had his boxers
on so I wasn't sure what he really wanted.

     'I dunno. You're the john so what'd you pick me up
for?'

     'Well, mostly to get to know you.' He lay back on the
carpet beside me, hands behind his head. None of the normal
smells drifted over from his exposed underarms, no sweat or
cologne. He had bathed before going out.

     That made me very suspicious, worried. What if this guy
was some kind of cop or social worker? My clothes were on
the far side of the room from the door. Escape would be
difficult.

     He sensed my unease. 'Don't worry,' he reassured, I'm
not a policeman or anything. Here, see?' He took off his
shorts and fell back to the carpet.

     That helped a bit but his dick was soft. Most any other
guy would have been hard by then.

     He slid against me and slipped one muscled hairy arm
under my head and fondled my cock with the other. My hardon
was immediate. The fondling also made me feel more secure
that I wasn't about to get popped, or preached to and taken
home to my mother.

    'Really, I just want to do what you like. I'll give you
six dollars even for nothing. I mainly want to get to know
you.'

     This was really strange. But he was going to give me
six bucks, which meant he expected a blowjob. So I played
with his dick until it was hard then bent down and took it
in. It tasted really clean, hardly had a taste at all except
maybe for the large circumcised head. Circumcised mancocks
generally had less flavor than uncircumcised with all that
crap from under the foreskin. Mine got raunchy after a day
too. That's why I always took a bath before hustling, even a
couple of times when the boiler was not right and the
apartment and water were cold.

     While I worked on his thick cock, Bill ran his fingers
through my curls then caressed my back and neck, continually
talking about what a nice boy I seemed to be and how he
wanted to get to know me better and see me again. Then, 'Do
you want me to do you too?'

     That was his second question that didn't need asking.
He picked me up by the hips like I was a plastic doll and
placed my crotch over his face. Strong dude. My dick and
balls fell into his mouth like money in a bank. We did a
leisurely 69. I was close to coming before him but he must
have sensed it and sucked on my balls until my cock calmed
down. To keep from getting all that bad taste in my mouth, I
always took the john's cock way to the back of my mouth the
minute I felt the guy was ready to shoot his load. That way
I could swallow it fast and not taste it as much. The man's
cock bloated. I let it go as far back in my mouth as I could
without gagging. Instead, he yanked his cock out of my mouth
at the last second and dumped into his hand. Five bucks, not
six. He kept sucking hard on my cock, and doing a very good
job of it. I'd lost my concentration so it took a couple of
minutes to get off. He kept me in his mouth until my last
bounce.

     We showered. Bill was still talking and asking
questions, catching me in a few story screw-ups. But he
didn't mention them and we made a date for the following
Sunday at twelve. We were to meet at Tad's for lunch. He
gave me two five's instead of one. I thanked him and he gave
me a hug, an embrace that seemed to mean more than the
quickies a lot of the other johns gave.

     I looked forward to our next meeting.

     After a frustrating half hour of cold air freezing my
middle and johns that wanted bigger dicks, I finished Sunday
off with double feature westerns, one with John Wayne, a man
I saw as a giant among men, second only to Bogey. I walked
home trying to imitate his gait.

     In bed that night, I thought about what it would be
like if one of the johns, like Bill from that morning,
really did like me. Lots of them said they did but all they
ever really wanted was sex, even the ones who took us out to
eat and to the movies. Most of them wanted new kids for sex,
often offering us a commission if we'd find new ones for
them. Only a few had taken me out more than once. I tried to
count the men I had gone with but quickly realized there
were too many for that. Georgie, I thought, must have been
out with twice as many, maybe more. Of all the kids I'd seen
on the Square, Georgie was the most beautiful, even
considering the blondes that came over from New Jersey and
two really pretty brothers from Brooklyn. But even Georgie
didn't have anyone who stayed with him for long. That last
guy who saw him on Sundays seemed to have moved on. I hoped
the woman I expected to eventually fall in love with
wouldn't be that fickle.

     Monday morning, Cholito was sitting on the curb waiting
when I got to Ninth Avenue. It lifted my spirits seeing him
there. Was this boy going to be a real friend?

     I stopped ten feet from the corner. What about my plan
to start talking sex with Cholito the next day? What if he
said something and the counselor found out? Nah, two kids
beating off wasn't going to get anybody excited. Happened
all the time. The plan was on.

     Cholito was like a shaken Coke, all bubbly about
Saturday's games and movie. I had to remind him not to tell
anybody I'd taken him.

     `Don't worry, I ain't no snitch about nothin'.' The way
he said it and had kept his mouth shut about the coat
increased my confidence. I had picked the right kid, at
least for being stand up. And what I'd been able to feel of
his body built my hopes he was as nice naked as he was
clothed.

     Tuesday afternoon after our special class with Mr.
Martinson, we walked to a pizza joint on Ninth Avenue and
Forty-Sixth.  It was warm enough for us to sit on a stoop up
the street and eat our slices. I edged into my plan.

     `Sunday I seen two kids in a walkway beating off like
there was nobody around. Lucky they didn't get caught. You
don't never do it outside, do you?'

     `Nah, I do it in the bathtub. I can lock the door when
I'm in there.'

     Good! I thought. He did it a lot, liked it.

     `Our bathroom ain't got no lock,' I told him, `so I
gotta do it in bed or someplace else.'

     Cholito didn't respond to that lead, just bit off a
piece of steaming pepperoni pizza.

     No matter, next step. `I got a place where nobody goes,
just me, and I beat off there sometimes. It's cool. Wanna
see it?'

     `Okay,' he answered with his mouth full.

     I wondered did he want to see the place or was this an
interest in getting off.

     We finished our slices while walking to the stoop under
which was the door I opened to get to the basement, then to
the back patios where we went three buildings down and
entered my hideout.

     `It's dark as shit in here. Ain't it got no lights?'

     `Just wait a couple minutes and your eyes will get used
to it and you can see `cause a the two windows.'

     `You're sure ain't nobody else comes here?'

     `Sometimes at night, junkies and teenagers looking for
a place to fuck, but never daytime like now.'

     `I still can't see nothing.'

     I was worried he might want to leave so I did something
I hadn't wanted to do, broke off one of the pieces of wood
nailed over a window. The place lit up all the way to the
boiler.

     `That better?'

     `Yeh. Man, it's neat in here. A kid could hide here for
a long time. None of the other kids know about this place?'

     `I come here all the time and I ain't never seen
nobody, just me.' I didn't want to mention that, a couple of
times, I had found used rubbers and burned bottle caps like
they used to boil their drugs. `C'mere, I'll show you my
beat off place.'

     He followed me without comment to the boiler where I
pulled out the cardboard and a two clean T shirts I'd put in
the previous week in preparation.

     `See, I can sit down here and take as long as I want.
Wanna do it?'

     `Okay,' he answered without hesitation. That excited
me. I could feel my dong stiffening.

     `Put your shoes and pants over here,' I directed as I
undid my belt.

     `Nah, I'll just pull `em down.' He did exposing a dark
place between his legs with a brown piece of flesh peeking
out of the shadow. It worried me that his dick was one of
those small ones like one kid in his class whose was so
short that he always dropped his pants to pee to avoid
pissing on the fly flap.

     A bit disappointed, I didn't argue, just yanked off my
shoes and stripped off my pants. As usual, I wasn't wearing
underwear.

     He stood on the cardboard and started pulling on that
hidden peter I badly wanted to see. I sat so he'd have to
sit facing the light. My dick pointed straight up in the
air.

     `Shit, yours's almost big as mine,' he said.

     Almost? I repeated to myself. `Lemme see,' I requested.

     He waddled to me on his knees, pants now around his
ankles, shadow still hiding his front. I pushed his hip to
turn him. My concern about his cock size evaporated. It was
a lot bigger than mine. It was at least as long as Kenny's,
three and a half inches, and just as thick. Only ten years
old and already growing. I looked as his balls. They looked
puny below, normal for his age. Cholito was just big! It
took every ounce of my self control to back away and not
suck him dry on the spot.

     'Big, ain't it?' he boasted with a broad grin.

     Regaining some control, I suggested, `Sit down, it's
better that way.' I pointed across from me where I wanted
him.

     He sat and wrapped his fist around his cock only
covering about two thirds of its amazing length. I started
in too, opening my legs, hoping he would follow my example.
He watched me and copied my technique of flattened fingers
in front, thumb behind. I spread my legs wider. He pushed
his pants down over his ankles and raised and spread his
knees. This was going great.

     `How's yours feeling? I'm getting close to my first
time' I announced

     `How many times you do it?' he asked after a few
seconds thought.

     `I can do it three if I'm really hot like now.'

     `I never done it more'n once.'

     `You getting close?' I asked

     `Not yet. I gotta think about something.'

     `Like what?'

     `Maria Santos naked or her sister.'

     I'd have preferred a different answer but Maria Santos
was pretty. I thought about sucking Cholito. It worked. I
grunted `Unnh, unnh' to make it more dramatic. `Now! I'm
coming!' I did and lay back so I was lit up by the window.
Cholito squinted at my throbbing cock bouncing in the air,
tightened his lips and worked his faster.

     I played with my balls and watched. His eyes closed and
his head gradually went back. `Here I come,' he announced.
His legs dropped to the cardboard and stiffened. He let go
of his dong. `Now,' he declared proudly. He did because I
could see it sharply bouncing up and down, looking even
bigger than before. He fell back flat, breathing audibly.

     His cock was amazing.

     I wanted to stick something in my hole for the second
time but didn't think Cholito was ready to see that.

     `Can you do it twice?' I asked.

     `I don't think so. You gonna do it again?'

     `If you want.'

     `Nah, mine's too ticklish now.' He pulled his pants up
to his thighs.

    I didn't want to lose sight so soon. `Wait, I wanna see
something.' He stopped. I crawled to him and said, `lemme
see your balls if they're growing yet.'

    He slid his pants back down and opened his legs. `They
ain't growing nothing. Been like this all my life.'

    I looked. They were nice and round and loose, just as I
liked them. I reached between his legs and felt the soft
skin of his sack and rolled his little orbs between my
fingers. He was definitely still a kid. How did he ever grow
a thing that large?

    `Don't squeeze `em. That hurts.'

    `Just seeing how they hang. Yours are gonna be big.'

    I knew that was a mistake. How was I supposed to be an
expert on boy balls. No matter.

    `Think so? 'Cuz a my penis being so big?'

    `Mmh hmmh.' This kid had no hang ups so far.

    I waited until Thursday to broach the subject again. He
hadn't mentioned it at all but was with me whenever he
could, putting his arm over my shoulder like kid pals do.

    `You sure like sex, Ray,' he commented as we headed
back to the basement.

    He took his pants off this time and spread his legs
like me. He wasn't hard yet. His great cock hung down to one
side halfway to his ass. Again, I had to fight the
temptation to suck on him the entire time we were naked.

    After both of us got off, I suggested, `Wait a few
    minutes and I'll show you how
to do it twice.'

    `I don't think I can,' he said sitting half up on his
elbows.

     I talked about how our dicks get hard, blood filling
the two spongy sacks on each side of our dick, and about how
stuff comes out of our balls that helps make us get horny
and want to have sex. It was a version of what the johns had
taught me. He thought it was interesting.

     `I hope nobody ever cuts my dick off when it's hard.
Blood'd shoot all over the place hard as mine get. I'd be
outta blood and dead in a couple minutes.'

    Saturday, Cholito and I did the Times Square thing
again except this time, after the movie, I took him to
Nathan's up Seventh Avenue where he seemed concerned about
the prices.

    'You're lucky to have a rich dad like Ray Hoolihan,' he
said. 'Wish I did.'

    That made me feel guilty though I didn't completely
recognize it as such. Having this great kid think my shit
biological father gave a flying fuck about me was somehow
wrong. Sure, he gave me money a few times a year but he
never took me anyplace alone like to a park to play ball. He
never really talked to me. Whatever he said was always said
to impress his drunken white friends, men who I knew thought
I was nigger trash.

    I was sorely tempted to tell Cholito the truth about
where I got my money but how do you tell a kid you suck
cocks for a living and not have him think you're a fag.

    Instead of rushing through our time on the Square to
get back and score, I stayed for both movies and hung around
with him on his block, playing tag and talking about Mary
Santos and others girls he wanted to undress.