Date: Sun, 25 Sep 2005 20:57:40 -0400
From: Henry Higgins <escribir12@hotmail.com>
Subject: Nevermore--9

Statement of Intent: M/t/t
This story is about sexual love between an adult male and consenting teenage
males. If the subject of the story is offensive or illegal for you to read,
then don't. Otherwise, enjoy!

Statement of Ownership and Copyright:
The author known as Henry Higgins reserves all rights accorded by United
States copyright law. This story is for your enjoyment only. You may not
post, sell, or otherwise transfer this story to anyone else.

Your comments are welcome at escribir12@hotmail.com.


Nevermore!
by Henry Higgins


9--Lunch at the Golden Stage

"Kenny, what do you think about grabbing some lunch and then a movie?" I
said.

"Sounds great. I'm starving!"

I was surprised to hear that, but then realized that it had, after all, been
a full three hours since he had eaten; that he probably needed to build
nutrients back into his system after his illness; and that indeed, we both
had a growing, teenage body to deal with--him from the owner's perspective
and me from a caregiver's perspective.

"The Golden Stage diner in the shopping center over there puts out pretty
good sandwiches. Then when we finish, we'll be close to the theater," I
suggested.

Kenny looked at me with his intent gaze. "That would be okay," he said.

"You know about that place?" I asked.

"Um... Yeah."

My antennae went up as I sensed there was more to his answer than I was
hearing; but I decided not to press it. If he wanted to tell me, he would.
There was no need for me to be nosey.

As we walked down to the diner, both Kenny and I caught sight of a
ragamuffin boy hanging around outside the video store. The boy appeared to
be around 13 or 14 and looked pointedly at Kenny, then at me. Kenny nodded
to him, but said nothing as we walked on. At an earlier time, I would have
been all over that boy like flies on honey.

"You know him?" I asked.

"Yeah," Kenny answered, "That's Rusty." I puzzled over this. Why would Kenny
be embarrassed to introduce me to his friends? As we entered the diner and
took a booth, I was as confused as ever.

"You ever eat here?" I asked Kenny.

"Sometimes. More often, I just work the place," he answered.

"What? Like you work the beehive?"

"Yeah... I, uh... Well... " I was learning that whenever he began to
hesitate like this, he was chewing on something difficult. So I just let him
take his time; but I didn't take my eyes off him--that is, until the
waitress came over. Her nametag said Delores.

"What can I get for youse?" She looked first at me and then at him and did a
little double take. "Oh, hi, Kenny! I almost didn't recognize ya all dressed
up. Isn't that a new jacket? You look nice, hon." She winked at me as she
said this.

Kenny stammered, "Uh, hi D. Um... Oh. Yeah... I got a new coat."

"Hi Delores," I said. "I'm Jim Watson, Kenny's cousin. I've been away for a
while and was coming back through town, so I wanted to see my cuz. His rags
were getting kinda threadbare, so we went shopping for something warm for
winter."

"Oh, that's nice, Mr. Watson. I'm sure he can use it. Kenny's one of the
nicest kids who hangs around here. We all just love him!" The waitress
smiled warmly as Kenny blushed a deep shade of red. "Can I get you guys
anything to drink?"

"Thanks, Delores. I'll have a cup of coffee--regular and black. Kenny, what
about you?"

"Um... I'll have a Coke. Thanks, D." Kenny mumbled this, with his head down.
My confusion deepened. If Kenny knew these people, why would he be so
embarrassed? Then it began to come clear. I decided to test my theory
gently.

"I gather, Kenny, that people around here are more used to seeing you in
your red sweatshirt," I offered, hoping to help untie his tongue and find
out a little more about what was going on in his head. He didn't say
anything or look at me, but just nodded yes. "Kenny, look at me." My eyes
were filling up again; I just hurt so much for this kid. Slowly, he looked
up to gaze at me.

My throat tightened up. "I'm not totally sure what's going on with you, but
I have an idea: you're embarrassed to have me see this part of your life,
right?" A tear made its way down each of his cheeks. He nodded yes.

I continued. "I can understand that you'd be embarrassed about it, son. It's
like none of us wants anybody to see our worst parts, the nastiest ones.
Right?" He nodded. "Do you know that I feel the same way when I have to talk
about what happened fourteen years ago and the time I spent in prison?"

"Yeah, I guess," he mumbled.

"Here you go, guys!" Delores put the coffee in front of me and the Coke in
front of Kenny.

"Thanks, Delores," I said.

"That's 'D,' okay?"

"Sure, D," I said.

"Okay, I'll leave you two alone, cause it looks like you're having a good
talk." She winked pointedly at me. I winked back. Kenny had his head back
down.

"Like I was saying, Kenny: I feel the same way. That's stuff that I have
such a hard time talking about because I feel so guilty about the way it
turned out for David." I began to choke up. Kenny looked at me, concerned.

"When I was arrested and lost David, I thought my whole world had come to an
end. And then, as time went on, I began to realize that my life wasn't the
only one I had messed up, but his, too. When I got out, I felt like
everybody in town knew what had happened. Of course, I later realized I was
wrong. That stuff was old, old news by then. Rog helped me to see this--that
few if any people around here connected me with what had happened before."

We were both quiet for a minute, swiping at our eyes occasionally with our
fingers, but otherwise trying to look as if we were having a normal
lunchtime conversation. Although we were separated by two-and-a-half feet of
table, I could feel such an incredible bond between the two of us that I
could almost touch it.

But, I still didn't have it all said--what I wanted to say to this boy who
was so embarrassed at what he had done just to survive. "I guess I'd feel
the same way if we were to run into one of my old fellow inmates on the
street."

His eyes widened as he looked up at me. "Has that ever happened to you?"

"Not for a long time; and not when I was with anyone else. But I still felt
funny when I'd run into someone I had known in prison. It only happened a
time or two."

"Oh." Kenny played with his menu.

I suddenly remembered that he had said he was starving. "Oh, I'm sorry,
Kenny! Here I am going on about myself and you must be doubly hungry now.
Bad me!"

He smiled at this. "Yeah, well... I guess we were both kinda involved."

"Do you know what you want?" I asked.

"I usually get a double cheeseburger on a roll with extra cheese and bacon.
Would that be okay?"

I smiled. "Kiddo, anything you want is okay."

"Okay, I'll have that."

"And, is the Coke okay, or would you like a milkshake or a Coke float?" I
asked.

He grinned widely. "Oh! A vanilla milkshake would be the best!"

"Okay, you got it. I think I'll have a chicken Caesar salad."

I noticed that D had been eyeing us throughout this intense conversation. So
the next time I caught her eye, I nodded and she came over to take our
order.

"D, my cuz here will have what he says is his usual--a double cheeseburger
with extra bacon and cheese. And, he'd like a vanilla milkshake. I'll have a
chicken Caesar salad and a refill on the coffee."

"Okay, Mr. Watson. Yeah, Kenny is famous around here for his double
cheeseburgers. We don't know where he puts 'em all!" The waitress grinned,
discreetly overlooking our tear tracks as Kenny smiled self-consciously.

"Now, where were we?" I tried to think back to where we had left off.

"You were telling me about how you felt when you'd run into somebody you
were in prison with so that I wouldn't feel so bad about running into people
who've seen me working," he said.

I gazed at him, surprised, because I would have bet that he was only
beginning to understand what I was trying to get at. I blinked back my
tears, but his just kept running silently down his face. He didn't even try
to brush them away.

"Uh, yeah," I said.

"You look surprised," he observed.

"That's putting it mildly! There are times that you just totally blow me
away, Kenny. So, when did you catch on?"

"Back when I saw you start to cry, Jim. You're the only person I've ever
known who has even half a clue how I feel. YOU astonish ME, man! I never
thought I would ever find anyone who could understand me even half as well
as you do."

"You are one bright kid, Kenny! And, you know, here you are the victim and
I'm the offender, well ex-offender at least, and we find that we're so very
similar. I never thought this would happen."

We lapsed into silence, just being with each other. Kenny wasn't about to
show me physical affection on his turf; but under the table, he had one of
my legs firmly clasped between his.

"Okay guys, here ya go!" shouted D, as she laid Kenny's double-cholesterol
bomb in front of him and my salad in front of me. "You know what, Kenny, you
oughta take a lesson from your cousin, here, and have a salad, too. It's a
lot better for ya!"

"Oh, D," he whined, "I'm just a kid, ya know. I'll eat that healthy stuff
when I get older, like my cuz here. Till then, I'm gonna have some serious
fun." He grinned, soaking up her attention.

"I'm sure glad you came to see him, Mr. Watson," she said to me. "We worry
about Kenny a lot around here. We all just love him to pieces."

"I can see that, D, and believe me, I sincerely appreciate it. He's a very
dear cousin." I answered, and felt the pressure on my leg tighten
considerably.

When she returned to the kitchen, I said to Kenny, "I'm glad to see that you
have some very good friends, Kenny."

"Yeah, D's the best. There's been more than one time that she has slipped me
some breakfast or dinner and not even charged me for it. I'm real careful to
keep what I do for money a secret, 'cause I'm afraid she'd dump me if she
knew."

"And you think that she doesn't know?" I asked.

"What? About me and guys? Hell, no."

"Oh, come on, Kenny. She sees you in here without any visible means of
support, unlike other kids who come in here. She sees you sit down with guys
my age and older. And then what? You go in the restroom together, or one
right after the other? Or, you leave together? D looks like a gal who's been
around the block, Kenny. She knows how things work. And, she knows that kids
like you have to make it in spite of drunken parents and being on their own.
And, she knows there are guys like me who are willing to pay kids like you
for the kind of sex they want." He looked at me so intently that it was like
he was boring a hole into my soul. And, that pressure on my legs hadn't let
up, either. Strong adductors! I wondered where he'd got that.

I plunged ahead. "The point is, Kenny, that D loves you regardless of what
you do for bread--just like I do. She sees the magnificent human being
that's behind those working clothes and loves that person. I do, too. Don't
be down on yourself for doing what you had to do, man. We've all gotta keep
living; we can't give up. Well, some people do, but I think you know what I
mean." I was all talked out, so I fell silent and dug into my salad. Kenny
already had half of his cheeseburger gone as he had been listening to me.
And then, I began to wonder about the safety of my leg, because that
pressure, that vice-like grip just had not let up.

We ate in silence for a while. I could almost feel his wheels turning as he
digested what I had said. About that time, the boy we had passed earlier
came into the diner and chose a seat at the end of the counter, where we
could see each other directly. Every now and then he would turn around to
look at us.

"Your friend has just come in, Kenny. Why don't you ask him over?"

"We kinda have an unwritten rule that we don't mess with each other when one
of us is working. I guess he thinks I'm working."

I observed, "Well, that would be a logical conclusion, wouldn't it? But you
aren't working. So if you want to ask him over, it's okay with me."

"Well, he's probably hungry, Jim; so you'd have to buy him some food. Is
that okay with you? I don't wanna assume anything, ya know."

"I wish that I had enough money to feed all the hungry kids in the world,
Kenny, but I don't. Still, I don't mind buying food for this boy. Just
realize that there's a vast difference between me buying him lunch and
installing him in my heart, the way I have you."

Kenny studied me thoughtfully for a long minute before giving me one of
those "How did you know?" smirks. Then suddenly, my leg was freed from its
love-clasp under the table as he went over to the boy and invited him to
join us.