Date: Thu, 10 Oct 2002 19:55:38 -0700 (PDT)
From: m o <daytool86@yahoo.com>
Subject: Opening the door- chapter 4

Hello once again,
Thank you to all of you who are still reading my
story.  Feel free to email any comments to me at
daytool86@yahoo.com.

As usual all disclaimers apply.  Please do not
continue reading if it is illegal for you to do so, or
if you are offended by material involving gay minors.

Also, this story is fiction, but this chapter did draw
on something I experienced when I was younger.  And
something like this did happen to a friend of mine
when I was younger, so I just wanted to say, be
careful when you're out there on the streets, you
never know what could happen.

Enjoy the chapter.

As I lay in bed, face into my pillow, sobbing, I feel
someone climb into my bed and put their arm around me.
 I roll over to see who it is, and as soon as I do,
John climbs on top of me, starts kissing me and is
running his hands through my hair.  I don't know what
to feel at this point, I mean, here is John, kissing
me, but he just told Sean he likes him.  I am very
confused and I don't know what to do.  John stops
kissing me and gets off me and sits up, I sit up as
well, he speaks first.  "Mike, there was a reason I
wound up telling you I liked guys, I may have not
meant to do it, but I told you, well, because I do
like you, a lot."
	"But you just told Sean you like him?"
	"I do, I don't know what to think, I do not know how
we are going to handle this, but maybe right now we
should just be glad that we all found eachother, and
we can support eachother."
	I said "Ok".  I was glad to hear him say that,
because he was right, I should be glad I found both of
them, because the three of us can make it through all
of this together.  So I stopped crying, wiped my face,
and the two of us went back downstairs to see Sean.
We all decided that it would be best right now if none
of us were dating eachother or anything, at least
until we got used to the fact that we all like guys,
and are able to accept that the guys we like may like
other guys instead of us.  We sat around for the
majority of the day just talking and smoking.  We
talked about what we liked in guys, who we thought was
cute, who wasn't.
	Later that day, well night rather, we were hanging
out with the other guys, in the parking lot at the
subway station.  It was dark, so we went up there so
we could play football at night.  We were playing when
a group of 10-11 kids all bigger than us came up.
They were like to my friend, Jonathan, "Yo let me get
your watch" and he said no and they asked why not and
he said "Because I got it for a present."  Then one of
the kids said "Aww shit, why'd you have to go and say
that all sweet, now I can't rob it."  After that the
kids walked away, we were all mad relieved because we
thought we were gonna get jumped, and there were only
6 of us, so there was no way we could take them.
Well, we were still in the parking lot, just hanging
out, when like two minutes after the kids left, two of
them came back by us but stood a bit farther away and
didn't talk to us.  So we decided it was time to go,
we couldn't go through the park to get home because
they were all down there, so we had to cut through the
old train tracks.  As we were walking, we noticed them
following us, so we cut onto a different path.  We saw
them still following us, so we took a path off the
tracks, onto a path that runs along the streets on the
backside of the tracks.  Next thing we know the kids
are right behind us.  John was in the back, and one of
the kids went up to him and said "Hey, you want to buy
some weed?" and John turns around to say "No, we're
all broke."  But halfway through his sentence another
kid hit in the head with a whisky bottle.  They
knocked him down, and while he was on the ground, they
started kicking him.  He was screaming for help, then
they hit him with the bottle again and the screams
stopped.  We didn't know what to do because we were
greatly out numbered, two of our friends, ran to this
kids house, who they knew, that was a couple of blocks
away.  One of my friends yelled "Lets ring doorbells
and get help."  So the three of us who were left
starting ringing doorbells, finally someone came to
the door and we were like "Help! Our friend is getting
jumped!"  So he said he would call the police.  In
that time, we looked back and all of the kids had ran
away, so we ran over to John.  He was still
unconscious when the police showed up, an ambulance
came, and the police called his parents.  At that time
I, along with my friends, were very calm, we were able
to give the police a report of what happened.  When
the ambulance left with John, the officers drove us to
our houses.
When I got into my house, it hit me what had happened.
 I went up to my room and began to cry, I was so
scared for John.  I was also pissed at myself.  When
they were kicking him I should have jumped in there
and hit them.  I mean there is a kid I really, really
like, getting his ass whooped, and I didn't do
anything to make those kids pay.  I can't believe I
was such a horrible friend, I mean John is at the
hospitable right now because I didn't jump in to
defend him.  I don't know what could happen to him, I
am such an asshole friend, I cannot believe myself.
Tears are just constantly streaming down my face, and
I can't take this.  The combination of how pissed I
was at myself, and how worried I was about John, it
made me want to scream, and scream, and never stop.
As I cried that night, all I could see and hear in my
head, was John screaming over and over, his cries for
help, it made me feel horrible, it was making me
physically sick, I thought I was going to throw up.
Then I had the image, in my head, of going back to
John, and just seeing him lying there, covered in
blood, not moving.  It was so scary.  I do not know
how I managed to not just throw myself on him and
start crying.  It was with those thoughts, running
through my head, over and over, that I finally feel
asleep to, just hoping and wishing, desperately
wishing, that John would be alright.


Well thats that, please email any comments to me at
daytool86@yahoo.com, chapter 5 should be up soon.