Date: Wed, 4 Jun 2003 00:18:34 EDT
From: ErastesTouch@aol.com
Subject: Point of View, chapter 16

Legal Notice:

The following story may contain descriptions of graphic sexual acts.  These
acts may be between boys or between a man and a boy.  The story is a work
of fiction and has no basis in reality.

The author, or his designee, retains copyright to this story.  There may be
no reproducing or distribution of this story without expressed written
consent.

I wish to extend my thank you to Ed for his editorial assistance with this
chapter.

                *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Point of View - by Erastes                        Copyright 2003 by Erastes
Chapter 16 - The holidays.                        February 2003

It was now the day before Thanksgiving, and there is no worse time to be in
jail than during a major holiday.  These are times you should be enjoying
with your family and friends, instead of being locked up and basically
isolated and alone.  This situation wasn't only affecting me, but you could
tell everyone in this place was more depressed than normal, even the
dumbbell duo.  The rumor mill had informed us that we were going to get a
traditional Thanksgiving meal tomorrow, as if an institutionally prepared
meal can compare to a loved one's cooking.  However, it would be better
than nothing, and the staff should be commended for their good intentions.

All that night I pictured things I had done during past Thanksgivings, such
as assisting in the preparation of the food for the following day, and
these memories made me even more homesick than I was before.  Now I
wondered if Sherry was going to be fixing a big meal for her and the boys,
and I assumed she probably would, and then I began to wonder how they were
doing and if things were going well for them.  No matter what happened, I
couldn't hate them and I still thought about them constantly.  I just
prayed that someday we might be able to put the past behind us and maybe
resume the type of relationship we had enjoyed before.  I cherished the
time I was with them and the father-son bonds I had with the boys, and that
was probably the thing I now missed the most while I was stuck in here.

Darren was also having problems coping with being incarcerated during the
holidays, but he used his artwork as a release valve.  First, he drew a
picture of a family Thanksgiving, most likely one from his past, showing
the extended family gathered around the table, sharing the bounty of the
day.  Even though he now lived far away from his family, he had still
managed to find a way to get home for Thanksgiving and Christmas every
year, and this was going to be the first holiday they had been apart since
he was born.  He came into my cell late on Wednesday afternoon, asking if
we could make sure we ate together tomorrow, and he even thought maybe we
should eat in my cell, so the other two would be less likely to interfere
or ruin things for us.  I told him that I would like that and it would be
fine with me, and my reassurance seemed to make him feel a little better
for the time being.

The next day started out as usual; up early, shave if you want, followed by
the same breakfast we've had nearly every day since we've been in here.
After breakfast, we watched the Thanksgiving Day parade on TV, but from a
long-range view, as the TV was at the end where Twiddle Dee and Twiddle Dum
lived.  Actually, it was fortunate the guards controlled what we were
allowed to see on the television, or we'd probably be watching professional
wrestling all day long.  Anyway, we watched the parade until around noon,
and then the football game came on.

During the pre-game show our meal was delivered, and it actually looked
pretty good.  Each tray had a couple of good-sized slices of turkey on it,
a large helping of mashed potatoes with gravy, stuffing, a couple of slices
of jellied cranberries, and a dinner roll.  There was also a separate paper
bowl filled with a tossed salad, and there was also a small plate with a
piece of pumpkin pie on it.  I talked Darren into eating at our table, as
there were so many various extra dishes this time, not just the tray, and
he agreed.  Now we sat down to enjoy our meal.

Darren asked if he could say grace before we began to eat, as he generally
did that at his family gatherings, and I told him he could.  I bowed my
head as he whispered the blessing, because he didn't want Frick and Frack
hearing what he was doing.  He was afraid if they did, they would make fun
of him for doing that.  After he completed saying grace, we ate our meal
while chatting about what we remembered from previous Thanksgiving dinners
with our loved ones.  Not only was the conversation great, but this meal
was the best I've had since I'd been in here.  There was plenty of food, it
was tasty, and when you walked away from the table, you actually felt full
for a change.  The pumpkin pie topped everything off beautifully, and now
we were ready to kick back and watch the football game.  However, we did
that from a distance, like with the parade, and we cheered quietly, because
we were supporting the team the other pair was rooting against.  When the
game was over we both chuckled quietly to ourselves, as our team had won.

It was during the Thanksgiving holiday when I realized what bothered the
inmates the most while they were incarcerated.  Even though we'd heard guys
say they could do a year standing on their heads, that wasn't quite true.
Sure they could do the time, but they sometimes had difficulty dealing with
the frustration that arose from their inability to choose what they wanted
to do and when they wanted to do it.  This included doing such simple
things as deciding when they wanted too get up, when they wanted to shower,
what they wanted to eat, and what television programs they wanted to watch.
It also included other factors such as not being able to go down to the
neighborhood bar for a brew, being able to select whom you wanted for
cellmates, being able to go out for a walk or just to get a breath of fresh
air, or not being able to stay up as late as you wanted.  When you added
all of that to the sexual frustration most of them felt by not having any
method of release, other than their own hand, it tormented some of these
poor souls almost to the breaking point.  Maybe that's why they turned on
each other, or chose other inmates they could abuse, to release some of
that pent up frustration they were feeling.

The rest of the weekend didn't go much better, as there were constant
reminders of what we were missing during this long holiday weekend.  The
television would constantly bombard us with Christmas oriented commercials,
or we'd be deluged with reports of how hectic it was in the stores, as
shoppers got an early jump on filling their family's Christmas lists.  Even
the college football games would highlight a Santa look alike at halftime,
or have Santa as part of the halftime show, and you would frequently see
the fans decked out in Santa suits or possibly just a red Santa cap.  This
only emphasized how much fun the rest of the world was having at this
festive time of year, while we were stuck in our humdrum existence behind
cement and steel barriers.  I began to notice the level of depression
becoming greater among the inmates now, and I could see this when they
passed by our cellblock or as I watched them in the yard during their rec
time.  The level of depression seemed to be greater now than I had
witnessed during the entire time I had been in here.

This also helped me to understand why the disenfranchised, the infirm, and
the elderly often become so depressed during the holiday season.  It's not
easy watching others having such a good time and doing so many interesting
things, while you are confined to your home or an institution due to
illness, injury, or just from a lack of having anyone to do things with you
or for you.  So many of those people have little or no contact with the
rest of society, and are isolated to the same extent as a prison inmate,
and that's what makes them begin to despair and lose all hope.  That is why
suicide rates seem to skyrocket during this time of year, as the people who
are having difficulty coping with the loneliness and/or depression seek
other avenues of escape.  It's very sad when that happens, but now I think
I have a slightly better understanding of what tempts them to make such a
fatal choice.

It was almost a relief when the Thanksgiving weekend came to an end,
because now we could at least temporarily pretend it wasn't still the
holiday season.  However, this wasn't easy to do, as commercials for
Christmas specials filled the gaps between the shows the inmates were
allowed to watch, or commercials touting the latest in holiday gifts were
aired, reminding us of what we were missing out on.  However, early in
December that point was driven home even further, as those of us who would
still be incarcerated on Christmas Eve were given a sheet to jot down our
choices for the token Christmas gift we would like to receive at the
jailhouse Christmas party.

It seems that every year one of the local service clubs purchased small
gifts for the inmates and passed them out on Christmas Eve, in an attempt
to bring a little Christmas cheer to the less fortunate.  Now they handed
out lists with suggestions of things the prisoners could ask for, and the
inmates were asked to write down three choices of items they might like to
receive.  Each prisoner would receive only one of these gifts, but having
more than one choice per offender gave the organization some wiggle room in
case certain items couldn't be located or were more expensive than they
planned to pay for each prisoner's gift.  The list of choices included such
basic items as socks, underwear, long underwear, and deodorant, but it also
gave other items to choose from, such as paperback books, writing
materials, art supplies, and other items approved by the jail
administrators.

At first I wasn't going to ask for anything, because I felt there was
nothing I wanted or needed, but then I relented and wrote my choices on my
slip.  After those lists had been collected, I actually looked forward to
receiving this small gift, and I knew it would help to brighten my holiday.
Not only was I looking forward to receiving my gift, but I was also looking
forward to the small party, which I heard the jail staff threw each year
for the inmates.  I was informed it was held in the rec room, which would
be decorated, complete with a Christmas tree, and there would be tables set
up with snacks, sweets, and beverages.  The Sheriff's department would get
donations from local businesses for this event, and they would supplement
it by using some of the profits from the inmate store.  I was even going to
take a chance and attend this special event, as I hoped that everyone else
would be in such an upbeat mood that day that they wouldn't think about
harassing Darren or me.  I also heard the guards on duty would be joining
us for the snacks and drinks, therefore putting more of them in the room at
the same time with us, thus adding another level of deterrent against any
violent acts.

The days began to really drag now, as everyone focused on the upcoming
reprieve from our humdrum routine and couldn't wait for the date of the
party to arrive.  I tried to keep busy, so I wouldn't have time to dwell on
what I was missing on the outside, like being able to enjoy Christmass with
Jared and Josh.  I had already missed Halloween and Thanksgiving with them,
and that was hard enough, but this was more than I wanted to consider.  I
knew it would probably catch up with me eventually, but I wanted to delay
that moment for as long as I possibly could.

I could tell Darren was also fighting with similar demons, as this would be
the first time he'd miss being with his family for Christmas as well.  I
did everything I could to keep his mind occupied, so he'd have less time to
wallow in the self-pity the acknowledgment of his current situation would
create.  To do this, I played more games with him during this time, as Fred
wasn't around any longer to help entertain him.  They used to play games
while I was working, but now that Fred was gone, I had no relief pitcher
warming up in the bullpen, so to speak.

That was another thing that amazed me, in that no one had been assigned to
Fred's old cell yet.  I know this is a good-sized jail, it holds quite a
few prisoners - considering the size of this community, and it is seldom
full, but I was sure the staff would keep the cellblocks that were occupied
as full as possible.  In a way it was both good and bad news for us.  It
was good news in as far as there wouldn't be three of them who could gang
up on us, but it was bad in that we could have used another ally and
someone we could have trusted.  I could also have used another person to
help me keep Darren entertained, so I could possibly get a bit more work
completed.  Oh, well, maybe it was the best things stayed as they were.

When Christmas Eve finally arrived, you could see the excitement level in
the cellblocks rise just a bit.  It may seem silly that a bunch of grown
men would get this excited over a simple Christmas party, but when you have
so little to look forward to, even something this innocuous seems to become
monumental.  Not only because it was a party and you were getting a small
gift, but it helped you to escape the reality of this place, if even just
for a short time.  Around our usual coffee time, we were all taken to the
rec room to participate in this seasonal diversion.  I was surprised that
the dumbbell duo didn't say anything when Darren and I got in line behind
them to join in the fun, but maybe they were too excited about this shindig
to think about us.  The same seemed to also be true with the other inmates,
as nothing was said and no one even seemed to notice we were part of the
crowd.  That alone was a nice Christmas present for both Darren and myself.

Finally, I got my chance to see the rec room, and I was impressed with what
I saw.  Even though it wasn't as it normally appeared, I could get an idea
of what it had to offer and what it might be like.  However, now there were
several tables spread across the area between the weights, ping pong table,
the library corner, and the large television viewing area.  These tables
had all kinds of goodies spread out on top of them, and it all looked very
appealing.  On the food tables there were cocktail wieners with a mustard
dip, cocktail wieners wrapped in a pastry, Swedish meatballs and noodles, a
cheese dip with bread cubes to dip in it, pretzels, chips and dip for
those, Doritos and salsa, a vegetable tray with a dip of its own, and a
large variety of Christmas cookies.  On the drink table was an assortment
of sodas (both regular and diet), and eggnog.  I was truly grateful for the
eggnog, as I never felt it was truly Christmastime unless I'd had the
chance to down at least one glass of eggnog.  Tonight, however, I was a pig
and knocked down three.  Hey, you have to take advantage of these limited
opportunities, and besides, most of the inmates didn't seem as thrilled as
I did about having that beverage.

While we were eating and drinking, the guards were directing the members of
the service organization toward various inmates, as they approached them to
hand them their gifts.  I had just picked up my third glass of eggnog when
I was handed my package and wished a Merry Christmas.  I thanked the person
giving it to me, wishing him a Merry Christmas too, and then I went back to
my eggnog.  While the others were ripping open their presents, I merely
tucked mine under my arm and continued to sample some of the remaining
fare.  After a short time, the guards announced they'd take anyone who
wanted to go back to their cellblocks early, as some of the others had
already tired of this little treat.  Only about a dozen of us left, but
Darren and I felt we had tempted fate long enough, and we happily returned
with this first wave.  When we got back to our cells, Darren showed me what
he had been given.  He had asked for two more sketchpads, and he was
thrilled that he got them.  Now he asked me what I had received, and I just
handed him my present.

"I got something that Santa wanted me to pass on to you," I told him, as I
placed the package in his hands.

"No way.  That is for you.  You have to have a present too," he protested.

"Darren, there is nothing I need or want in here, and I'd have nothing to
do with this anyway, so go ahead and open it.  I got it for you."  He
started to protest again, but I held up my hand and stopped him, so he
relented and ripped the wrapping paper off the package.  When he saw what
it was, he just looked up at me and grinned.

"Damn, I never thought of asking for something like this."

"Well, do you like it and think you can use it?"  His grin widened.

"Hell, yes.  Now instead of drawing and trying to color with those colored
pencils, I can do a sketch and then fill it in with these watercolors.
Thanks, Bob.  It was really nice of you to ask for something for me,
instead of something for yourself, but I don't know why you keep doing all
these things for me."

"I do it because you are my friend, and you can use it more than I can.
I'm just glad I'm able to help out."  This time he didn't hesitate and he
gave me a hug.  Maybe he did this because he knew no one else was around to
see it happen, but that was a better gift than anything anyone else could
have given me at that moment.  When he broke the hug, he thanked me once
more, and then I sent him to his cell, to try out his new gifts.  I used
this time to watch the TV alone, as A Christmas Carol was on, the one with
George C. Scott as Scrooge.  Just as the movie was ending, the others came
back to the cellblock, but they were still in a fairly good mood and they
didn't even try to bother us.  Once more I didn't push my good fortune, and
as soon as the movie ended, I went back to my end of the cellblock and then
into my cell to lie down.  I guessed lights out would be announced shortly,
so I brushed my teeth and stripped down to my underwear.  It was another
twenty minutes before lights out was announced, as the guards seemed to be
giving us a little extra time this evening, possibly their idea of a
Christmas present to us too.  When they finally did announce lights out, it
was followed by, "And a Merry Christmas to all," which showed me even the
guards had gotten into the spirit.

As I laid on my bunk that evening, I thought about how happy Darren had
seemed with his gifts, but then my attention shifted to another pair of
young men.  I now began to wonder what Jared and Josh might be up to, how
their Christmas Eve had been, and what they might have done.  Then I
wondered what Christmas Day might be like for them.  What presents would
they get, what would they have for dinner, and were they happy?  I began to
feel bad that I wouldn't be there to give them gifts, to see them smile, or
to enjoy that time with them.  Before long, I could feel the moisture
building in my eyes, and soon the tears were streaming down my cheeks.
Silently, I wished my boys a 'Merry Christmas', if only in spirit.  At this
point I began to quietly sing an old World War II Christmas song to myself,
"I'll be home for Christmas."  You might know how it goes.

"I'm dreaming tonight of a place I love, Even more than I usually do.  And
although I know, it's a long road back, I promise you.

"I'll be home for Christmas, You can count on me.  Please have snow and
mistletoe, and presents under the tree.

"Christmas Eve will find me, where the love-light gleams.  I'll be home for
Christmas, if only in my dreams."

Eventually I fell asleep, but not before I had a chance to pine about not
being with them, and regretting this lost opportunity.  I could only wonder
if I'd ever get the chance to experience another Christmas with them, or
even see them again at all.  I think I actually cried myself to sleep that
night, as the pain I felt from not being with them overwhelmed me, as
Christmas used to be my favorite time of the year.

Christmas morning we were allowed to sleep an hour later, and we received a
special treat when breakfast arrived too.  This morning we were served
French toast, scrambled eggs, raisin toast, bacon, sausage, milk, and
juice.  What a nice surprise!  Everyone knew there were going to be special
visiting hours scheduled for today too, and many of the inmates began to
spruce themselves up for their eventual visit with their loved ones.
Seeing Darren and I knew we wouldn't be having any visitors today, we just
went back to our cells to relax, after gorging ourselves on that big
breakfast.

When the others went down to see their loved ones, Darren and I took
advantage of being alone and went out to watch some TV.  There was a parade
on, followed by some Christmas music, performed in a very elegant
cathedral.  The show was very enjoyable, relaxing, and a nice change in our
routine.  When we heard the others returning, we decided to go play some
cards at our end of the cellblock, and we were soon engrossed in games of
both pitch and double-solitaire for the next couple of hours.

When lunch came, it wasn't that big of a deal.  After that amazing
breakfast, lunch just consisted of a toasted cheese sandwich, a bowl of
soup, peaches, a piece of cake, and a carton of milk.  Thankfully, most of
us were still somewhat full from the big breakfast we had earlier, so
hopefully this little offering would make it so we'd be able to hold out
until dinner.  The only thing was, this meal did seem like a cruel joke
after that great start.

After lunch Darren came into my cell, to show me his first watercolor
artwork.  It was another picture of me, but this time he had me dressed up
in a Santa outfit.  He giggled when he saw me stare at it.  "Well, you have
been my Santa since I've been here, so I just thought I'd put you in the
correct clothes," he offered.

"Well, I'm glad you didn't feel you had to put the big stomach on my
picture."  I let out a weak chuckle.

"I thought about it, but then I thought that might upset you," he admitted.

"Not really," I informed him.  "I was just joking."

"Are you sure?  I know how you've talked about losing weight in here, so I
thought that being heavy bothered you?"

"So you think I'm heavy?" I asked, partially joking.  At first he wasn't
sure if he should answer, but then he saw my grin.

"No, not really, but I thought you did."

"I do, but I'm not THAT obsessed about it.  I was sort of joking."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, Darren.  Don't worry about it."  Now he seemed to relax a little.
"And Darren, thanks.  I'll have this picture framed as well.  When I get
home I'll start a Darren artwork wall in my house, where I'll hang all the
pieces you've either given to me, or I purchase from you later on."

"You won't have to buy anything from me," he protested.

"I will when you're a famous artist," I added, letting him know I thought
he might be able to make a living at this.

"NO!  Even then I'll let you have whatever you want."

"Even if I'd rather pay you for it?"

"Yes, because of all you've done to help me get started."  I decided not to
continue the conversation now, and waited to continue it at a later time,
if he ever got to the point where he was actually selling his artwork.

When dinner arrived, we were pleased to see another special meal.  This
time we had ham slices with pineapple on top, candied yams, baked beans, a
green salad with oil and vinegar on it, a piece of apple pie, and milk.
Again there was quite a bit to eat here, and it was pretty filling, but
best of all, it was fairly tasty too.  After we'd finished our meals, we
turned our trays and utensils back in, and then Darren and I stayed out at
our table, to watch the long-range view of the football game that was on
television.  We weren't really into this, but it did help pass the time,
and we also began to play some cards, to fill in the less than exciting
moments in the game.

After coffee was delivered, Darren and I spent the rest of our evening in
my cell, with me writing and Darren engrossed in his sketchpad.  As lights
out approached, he went back to his cell, but not before wishing me a final
'Merry Christmas' and thanking me for helping to make this a less boring
and depressing time.

A couple of days after Christmas Darren came into my cell again, just after
the others had gone to rec.  "Bob, I really need your help."

"Sure.  What's up?"

"Will you promise you won't laugh at me or think less of me afterward?"  He
had a very concerned look on his face now, giving me the indication he
considered this a very serious matter.

"I promise, Darren.  So what's the problem?"  He didn't respond right away,
and just stared at me.  "Come on, you should know you can trust me by now,"
I tried to assure him.

"I do, but I feel kind of weird asking you this, but I can't take it any
more and need your help."

"Help with what?"  I still wasn't getting his drift.

"My hand just isn't doing it for me any more," he advised me, and now I
began to understand what he was talking about.  "I need something else,
something to make me feel better.  I know you've told me you only do things
with willing partners, but I'm willing and I need a blowjob bad."

I wasn't sure how to respond to him at this point.  I knew what he wanted,
and I wouldn't mind helping him with his problem, but I wasn't convinced
this was a good idea.  Not only might he have second thoughts after we did
it, but this wasn't exactly the place you'd want to get caught doing
something like this.  I guess he picked up on my indecision.  "Please, Bob?
I really need your help with this."

I finally decided how I wanted to approach this.  "Darren, are you sure
you'll be able to live with that later?  I mean, do you think there might
come a time when you would begin to hate me, or yourself, for having done
something like that?"

"No!  I've thought this through and I really need it.  I won't hate you,
because you're my friend and you'd just be helping me out.  It's not like
we're going to do anything really gay.  I only want a blowjob, nothing
more."

"And it won't bother you later that I was the one who gave it to you?"

"Hell, no.  A blowjob's a blowjob, plain and simple."  He appeared to mean
what he was saying, and I got the impression he was really in need of some
sexual relief.

"If you are absolutely sure," I told him, and now I tried to think of how
we could do this without getting caught.

"Thanks, Bob.  You're a real friend.  I won't ever forget this."  I merely
smiled at him and nodded.  I moved over to my desk, sat on the stool, and
then I told Darren where to stand.  If a guard wandered by I wanted it to
look like we were just passing time in my cell, as they were used to seeing
us do by this time.  As soon as he was in position, Darren unfastened his
jumpsuit and took out his dick, as if he was preparing to use the toilet,
and then he held it out toward me.  He was already rock hard.

"Yeah, I guess you really do need this," I told him, trying to lighten the
moment.  As I sat at my desk, with Darren strategically placed in front of
me, all I had to do was to bend slightly forward and take him into my
mouth.  He moaned as my lips slid down the length of his shaft, which
caused me to pull off quickly.  I did this so I could remind him that he'd
have to keep the noise down, if he didn't want us to get caught.  He looked
down at me at this point, and merely nodded his understanding.  Feeling
somewhat reassured, I slowly took him back into my mouth, and I began to
nod on his rod, adding suction as I did so.

I could tell that Darren was fighting to contain the animal noises he was
still tempted to emit, but was able to maintain control.  However, he was
allowing himself to get involved in the action, and he began to thrust his
hips in rhythm with my bobbing head.  I knew this wasn't going to take very
long, as he was as horny as I've ever seen anyone in my entire life, and
soon he was spewing his creamy load into my mouth and throat.  I swallowed
some, but I kept as much as I could in my mouth, as I didn't want to
disgust him by swallowing his cum.  Doing that is generally a turnoff for
straight guys, except when it's a female doing it.  When his hip thrusts
began to slow, and then subside completely, I felt he had received all the
stimulation he could handle, so I let his dick fall from my mouth.  At that
point I got off my stool and walked over to my toilet, spitting his
remaining body fluids into the bowl.  I grabbed my cup and filled it with
water, rinsed my mouth, and spit that water into the bowl too.  When I
turned around, Darren was still leaning against the wall, with his dick
still hanging out, but now he had this look of contentment on his face.  I
walked past him and out of my cell, and I sat at our table in the common
area, giving him time to enjoy the afterglow on his own.

A few minutes later he joined me, thanked me for my help, and told me that
I was a really great friend.  I responded as simply as I could, not wanting
to make a big deal over what had just happened, but he seemed really cool
about it.  He had just sat down to play a few hands of pitch when the
others returned from rec, but they just walked past us and went to their
end of the cellblock, not giving us any particular notice.  It appeared
there were no obvious signs that anything out of the ordinary had just
taken place, so they merely ignored us and left us to our card game.

As New Year's Eve approached it reminded us of how long we had actually
been stuck in this place.  The amount of time varied for everyone in here,
but ironically it was the same amount of time for Darren and me.  We had
been locked up on the same day and we were serving identical sentences, so
we'd get out on the same day too, provided neither of us lost any time off
for good behavior.  This holiday not only reminded us about how long we'd
been in here, but it also helped to point out how much longer we still had
to go before we completed our sentences.  This only seemed to add to the
feeling of depression that had began to pervade the jailhouse just before
Thanksgiving, and had been so evident during these past few weeks.

On New Year's Eve, Darren asked me what I was planning to do after I got
out, and I told him I just planned to resume my old life, minus a few
people in it.  He wanted to know what I meant by that, as I think he
thought I was hinting that it wouldn't include him any more.  I merely
explained to him that I was fairly sure there would be people who would no
longer want anything more to do with me, due to my conviction, and they
would no longer be a part of life.  He nodded his head in acknowledgement
to my statement, and then he informed me that he was sure that was going to
happen to him too.

After that, he told me he was glad I hadn't lost my home and I had been
able to keep my job, including being able to continue my work while I was
trapped in here.  He said he didn't know what he'd do for a job when he got
out, but he hoped his friends hadn't rented out his room while he was away.
He went on to explain that he knew they probably couldn't pay the rent
without his share, so he expected they had most likely stored his things
somewhere and rented his room to someone who could pay.  He was only hoping
that somehow a place would open up for him there once he was out, so he'd
still have a place to go as well.  He had no way of knowing for sure, since
he hadn't heard from any of his former roommates while he had been locked
up, but he was still hopeful.

As a special treat for New Year's Eve, we were told that lights out
wouldn't be until 12:30 that evening, so we could have a chance to stay up
and welcome in the New Year.  It was a nice gesture, I suppose, but it
wasn't like we had much to celebrate, except for the fact that we'd be
getting released some time during the New Year.  We concluded the staff
would probably allow us to watch one of the nationally televised New Year's
celebrations as part of our little treat, but that would only add to the
realization of how terrible it was to be incarcerated.  It wouldn't be easy
to watch everyone on that miniature screen having such a good time, while
we had to deal with the knowledge that it would be months before we were
able to enjoy even the most elementary freedoms.

The staff also allowed us an extra opportunity to buy from the inmate
store, in case we wanted anything special to celebrate with.  I made up my
mind to do my part to make this evening bearable by ordering some chips,
pretzels, pizza, and sodas.  After talking this over with Darren, I also
decided to offer some of these goodies to the dumbbell duo as well, as sort
of a peace offering.  Although I knew their attitude toward me was probably
still the same, and they still despised Darren because of his association
with me, they hadn't been openly hostile for the past few weeks.  Due to
this fact, I thought a gesture of this nature might help to get them to
continue their attitude of non-hostile coexistence.

Our orders didn't arrive until well after our coffee had been delivered and
drunk, somewhere between 10 and 11, and the guard called me to come and get
my items off the cart.  There were two pizzas and the bag containing my
other selections.  Darren helped me with these items, and he carried the
heavy bag to our table, as I juggled the two pizzas.  We sat everything
down, noticing the other pair watching us very closely.  As soon as I had
rummaged through the sack, I grabbed a bag of pretzels and two bottles of
soda, and I told Darren to pick up one of the pizzas and follow me.  We
took these goodies down to the other end of the cellblock and set them down
on the other table.

"We thought you might enjoy these," I explained.  "Happy New Year."  I
didn't receive any immediate response, so I turned and began to walk back
to our end of the cellblock, with Darren following behind me.  As we walked
away from the other pair, the ringleader of the duo grunted out a few
words.

"Hey, thanks," he mumbled, and I merely waved back my acknowledgment.
Darren and I went back to our table and sat down, ready to enjoy our little
New Year's celebration.  We ate half a pizza each, had some chips and
pretzels, and we both had two bottles of soda from the six-pack I had
purchased.  After polishing off these small treats, we sat and watched the
celebration on the TV, wishing each other a very Happy New Year as the ball
in Time Square dropped down to signify the end of the old year and the
start of the new.  I knew Darren meant this sincerely, as he knew we'd both
be getting out before mid-year, as long as we each got full credit for our
good time.  That gave us some hope and something to look forward to, so
maybe this would be a better year.

We stayed up a while longer and watched more of the festivities on
television, but lights out was announced shortly thereafter, so it forced
us to turn in for the evening.  Darren gave me a wave and wished me 'sweet
dreams' as he went toward his own cell, which touched me deeply.  He was a
special young man and I was growing fond of him, and I vowed to continue to
do all I could to make his stay here more bearable.  As I got into my bunk,
I thought ahead to tomorrow, for now I had the college bowl games to look
forward to.  They would be played over the next couple of days, and the
final game would decide the national championship, and this has always been
one of my favorite activities.

New Year's Day started off nicely, as we were served pancakes, scrambled
eggs, bacon, sausage, an English muffin, milk, and juice for breakfast.  It
was another special breakfast, and another holiday treat.  Lunch wasn't
that great, just soup and a sandwich, with chips, pears, and a piece of
chocolate cake.

However, I thought dinner was special, although most of the other inmates
didn't agree with my opinion.  We had ham and cabbage, with a side of
boiled potatoes and carrots, a buttermilk biscuit, and a slice of apple
pie.  All in all the day's meals were above average, as far as I was
concerned, and the entertainment wasn't bad either.

During that day and the next I watched all the college football I could.
There were some exciting and heart-stopping games during this time, and I
enjoyed myself immensely.  Darren actually drew a couple of pictures for me
during that time period, depicting a couple of the key players on the teams
I was cheering for.  He would study the player when the TV crew showed his
picture or did an interview with him, and then he'd use that to draw a
picture of him in action for me.  I thought that was very sweet and I
appreciated his thoughtfulness.  Besides, now I had two more pictures to
frame and add to the 'Darren art wall' I was planning to start somewhere in
my house.

As the day ended, so did the holidays, and we would now slide back into our
normal, boring routines.  We would bide our time until our release date
approached, hoping the time passed quickly in between.  We knew the
dumbbell duo would be getting out before we did, as they were also locked
up before we were, but we also knew they would be getting out on different
dates.  After the first one left, we might have less to worry about, but we
planned to throw our own little party the day after the last of the pair
was gone.  In this place, even a small advantage is reason for celebration.

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