Date: Wed, 11 Jun 2003 10:00:40 EDT
From: ErastesTouch@aol.com
Subject: Point of View - chapter 18

Legal Notice:

The following story may contain descriptions of graphic sexual acts.  These
acts may be between boys or between a man and a boy.  The story is a work
of fiction and has no basis in reality.

The author, or his designee, retains copyright to this story.  There may be
no reproducing or distribution of this story without expressed written
consent.

I wish to extend my thank you to Ed for his editorial assistance with this
chapter.

               *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Point of View - by Erastes                       Copyright 2003 by Erastes
Chapter 18 - The adjustment.                     March 2003

Things were going very well with Darren staying with me, and we took the
first week or so just to kick back and enjoy not being locked up.  We were
almost like a couple of kids left at home with no adult supervision.  We
would stay up late, sleep in the next morning, eat what we wanted and when
we wanted, and we spent a great deal of time in my pool.  We also talked a
lot, and about many different topics, including his filling me in about
more of his life.  The only thing we hadn't done during this time was
anything sexual.  Since we'd been out, he didn't seem to have that need any
more, so I wasn't about to bring it up if he didn't.  We did do other
things, though, and we even went out a few times, to go shopping at
Wal-Mart or to see a movie or two.

At first, I was almost afraid to leave the house at all, but I decided that
would be unfair to Darren, seeing he didn't have a car or any other way to
get around.  I didn't want him to feel that I talked him into leaving the
jail with me, just to become a prisoner in my home.  That didn't seem
appropriate, and I wanted better for him.  If I had personal issues, then
I'd have to deal with them on my own and not let them affect Darren too.
For now, I took care of my concerns by always doing everything at night,
such as going to the late movie or shopping at Wal-Mart after midnight.
However, I knew I couldn't continue this 'vampire' routine forever, because
eventually I'd probably have to drive Darren around to look for a job.
That would have to be done in the daytime, so my life in the darkness would
be forced to come to an end.

He was also a big help around the house, and he took over some of the
household chores for me.  He volunteered to be responsible for the dishes,
laundry, and general housecleaning, freeing me up to get back to my
writing.  I was currently working on the story I had begun before I was
arrested, and during the short time we've been out, that was nearly
finished too.  I would be turning it in to my editor very soon, and then I
would be getting her comments and suggestions to incorporate into it.  That
meant the story could actually be going to print within the next few
months, which was pretty quick, considering I'd just had another book go
into print just a short time ago.  I always got excited when that happened,
and the money that would start coming in was always welcome as well.

One day Darren and I began to discuss his future and what he hoped to do
with his life.  I asked him what he had been taking in college, while he
had been attending, and he told me he had been studying computer science.
I asked him if he might be interested in going back to finish that and he
told me 'no', because he had discovered there were too many people going
into that field and he thought the prospects of getting a decent job would
be slim.  Now I asked him what else he might be interested in, and he said
he wasn't sure, so we began to discuss some alternatives for him.  After
talking this over for several hours, which took place during more than one
sitting, he had narrowed his options down.  However, the options he was
leaning toward were not something that was available at the local college.
He was now torn between becoming a teacher, to teach computer technology,
or getting into computer animation and graphic design, to combine his
talents for computers and art.  To do either he'd have to attend another
college, but he told me he knew the college near his parents offered both
programs, so he might just return home to follow his dream.

Darren seemed torn about possibly leaving me, so I explained to him that he
had to do what he had to do, and not to let anyone or anything get in his
way and stop him from achieving his goal.  He said he'd consider this
matter further, to determine which option he thought would be best for him
to pursue, and he'd let me know which career choice he had settled on.  I
told him that would be fine, but he should also start thinking about what
he might want to do for now, until he went back to school.  There were
still a few months before classes would begin, and chances were he might
not be able to get in at the last minute, and might have to wait a
semester, or even a whole year before he would be able to enter.  He agreed
with my logic and suggested the next thing he would need to do would be to
find a job.  I concurred and told him I'd help him in any way I could.

Now Darren started to make a list of places he should submit applications,
but seeing he didn't have much of a working background, his choices were
limited.  The good thing was that he wouldn't need the money to live on,
but merely to put away for a vehicle or his educational bills.  I drove him
to several area locations, and he filled out job applications and managed a
couple of interviews out of the process, but he finally decided to take a
job at Wal-Mart, on their night stocking crew.  It wasn't a great job, but
he liked the hours.  I could drive him there and pick him up later, and the
pay was better than the other jobs he had interviewed for.  Now he would be
away part of the time, leaving me alone during the hours he worked, but I'd
probably just be sleeping while he was gone anyway.

Now that he had a job, he'd begin to save up some money, but he'd have to
make some decisions pretty quickly, however, if he had any hope of jump
starting his future.  We sat down again to talk about that, and Darren told
me he had decided on the computer animation and graphic design program back
home.  I now had him contact his parents and the college, to see what his
chances were of getting admitted for this fall.  If that wasn't possible,
he was going to see if he could apply for the second semester or the
following fall.  No matter how this worked out, he was moving in the right
direction.

We thought it would take at least a month before he heard anything, but he
ended up getting a fairly quick response, and everything was actually
working out better than either of us had hoped.  Seeing he had some college
credits he could transfer into this program, and due to the fact he'd be
living at home and not needing a dorm room, the admissions office had
squeezed him into the program at the last minute.  This was a major break
for him, but a sad realization for me.  It meant that it would only be a
couple of months before he'd be leaving me all alone again, but he promised
to come back to visit over the holidays and during the summer, so I guess
that would help some.

Now that the planning was behind us, we fell into our monotonous existence,
but we did have our moments of excitement.  One of them was when I called
Darren into my office one day, to show him something I had done.  On one of
my trips taking him to work at Wal-Mart, I went in and did some shopping,
and I bought a number of picture frames at that time.  I took them home,
and while he was at work, I framed all of the pictures he had drawn for me,
so I could surprise him when he got back.  Not only had I framed them, but
I had also hung them strategically on one of the walls of my office, to
inspire me while I worked.

I had summoned him in to see me, but I waited until he noticed the wall on
his own.  I loved the expression on his face when he became aware of what I
had done with his drawings, as I think he figured I was merely being polite
when I told him what I had planned to do with them, while we were in jail.
His mouth hung open, and his eyes darted back and forth from one drawing to
another, and then he turned toward me, with this glow radiating from his
face.  Even before he uttered a word, I knew I had been successful in
impressing him with this little display.

"Damn, I didn't think you'd really do that," he told me, still gawking at
the wall.

"I'm a man of my word," I informed him, "and besides, they are there to
inspire me.  They not only help to remind me of your wonderful talent, but
they also make me remember the lows we've been through, so it makes me want
to succeed even more, and put that part of my life far behind me."  He
smiled at my response, seeming to think it was an adequate explanation.

I'd be willing to wager that I would soon be getting more of his gems to
add to this wall of fame, as I could almost see the wheels turning in his
head right now.  Over the next few days I saw him studying various parts of
the house, both inside and out, and I knew I would soon also have some
reminders of his time with me here.  I tried to guess what types of
pictures he might draw, and who or what might be in them, but he remained
pretty tight lipped about his plans.  No matter what he did, I knew it
would absolutely be his best work, so they would be valuable assets to add
to this collection.

During this time, Darren also started dating a young woman who worked as a
cashier at Wal-Mart.  She would come on duty just as Darren was getting
ready to leave for the day (or night, because of his shift), and I guess
they began to talk and hit it off.  He didn't tell me much about his dates,
and I think he felt I might be hurt if I knew what they were doing
together.  Although we had no sexual contact since we'd been out, we still
remained close, and Darren seemed to like other types of contact with me,
such as an arm around the shoulders or just a small touch on his arm or
back.  I knew he wasn't gay, and this was more like the type of contact a
father might have with his son, but I could tell how much he enjoyed it,
and how much he sought that sort of attention from me.

I saw this girl a few times when I picked Darren up in the morning, and she
was cute.  The first time I actually got to meet her, so I could talk with
her, was when Darren brought her home one evening, after a date.  He didn't
tell me in advance he was going to do that, and I was used to her driving
to the house to pick him up and drop him off, but one night he asked her in
and sought me out.  "Julie, I want to introduce you to Bob," he told her.
"He's like my second father, and I wanted you two to meet."

I was very flattered by this introduction, but he was still talking.  "And
Bob," he continued, "I want you to meet Julie.  She works at the store too,
and we've really been getting along."  He was beaming now.

"Hi, Julie, it's very nice to meet you," I told her.  "I hope Darren has
been a gentleman when you're together."  I gave her a wink to let her know
I was just teasing.

"Darren?" she shot back.  "He does okay, but I think he was a lion or a
tiger in a past life, because he likes to pounce without warning."  Darren
turned red at this comment, and he looked astounded that Julie had made
such a comment.

"You may be right," I told her, picking up on her comment.  "He tends to
groom himself a lot too, and he also likes to play with his food."  Julie
let out a little giggle when I said that, and I concluded she had her own
personal interpretation of what I meant by my last comment.

The three of us sat and chatted for a few minutes, letting Julie and me get
to know each other better, and then Julie said she had to leave, as she
knew Darren had to get ready to go in to work.  We said our good-byes and
Darren walked her out to her car, and he was out there for a few minutes
before he came back in.  I heard the door shut when he entered, and I
expected him to just head upstairs to get ready for work, so I was
surprised to see him standing in the doorway to my office, staring at me.
As soon as I looked up, he spoke.

"So, what did you think of her?" he wanted to know.

"I think she's very sweet and lovely," I informed him.  "And she seems to
have a good sense of humor too."  I think he knew what I meant by that.

"Yeah, and she seemed to like you too."  He paused briefly at this point,
and I saw him swallow hard.  "You know I really meant what I told her about
you."  I looked directly at him and I could read the sincerity on his face.
I stood up and walked toward him.

"I knew you did, and that was very special to me.  You don't know how much
that touched me, or what it meant to me."  I was looking him straight in
the eye right now, and I could see the tears starting to form in them.
Suddenly, he just threw his arms around me and gave me a big hug, and it
happened so quickly it reminded me of Julie's pouncing comment.  He
squeezed me quite hard, and for quite a long time, and then he released me.
I wasn't sure what to do or say next, but he took care of that for me.

"You don't realize how many times you saved me in jail," he informed me,
although I wasn't exactly sure what he was referring to.  "It wasn't just
the time you saved me from having those two guys attack me, but you gave me
hope and helped me to keep from thinking about how bad it was in there.
You know, if you hadn't come along, I might have just thrown in with some
of those other guys and learned how to become a good crook or something.
My whole life would probably have turned out totally different if I hadn't
met you in there, and I probably wouldn't be thinking about going back to
college now."

I could see how truly sincere he was being, and it really moved me that he
felt this way.  However, I needed to set him straight on a few things.
"Darren, whatever I did, that wasn't what made the difference for you.
Whatever happened came from within you and not from me.  You are a decent,
intelligent person, and you possess some very interesting talents.  All I
did was to show you what was hidden there.  Whether you took advantage of
those traits or not was strictly your choice, but I was fairly confident
you'd choose wisely.  That's why I only needed to show you your options,
and then I sat back and watched until you actually acted on them."

"But without you there to show me, I might have made some really bad
choices.  I knew a kid in high school who went to jail right after he got
out, and all he learned in jail was how to be a good crook."

"That was him and not you, and I don't think being dishonest or a criminal
is part of your make-up.  Even if you had decided to take that route, I
don't think you'd have been very good at it or happy being like that.  I
think it might have taken you a little longer to discover that for
yourself, but it was what was inside you the whole time that would have
made you realize you weren't meant to be, or could be happy trying to be
something you aren't."

He looked at me, almost as if I had just scolded him.  "That may be how you
see it, but I know you were the one who changed my life, and I will always
be grateful to you for being there for me."  He now walked back over to me,
hesitantly reached out toward me, and then gave me another major hug.  I
hugged him back, and finally conceded.

"Okay.  I'll give in and take some of the credit, just as long as you take
the rest," I whispered in his ear.  At that point I felt him squeeze me
even harder, and he had a huge grin on his face when he finally broke the
embrace.

"Darren, does Julie know how we met?" I inquired.

"Yeah, she does.  She recognized your name from seeing it in the paper, and
she wanted to know why I was living with you.  I told her everything,
including the fact that I knew you weren't the type of person who would
force someone into doing anything with you, and she believes me.  In fact,
I think she likes you.  She said something like that when I walked her out
to her car tonight."

"Interesting!"  It was the only thing I could think to say at that point.
"Have you told her about your plans to go back home and go to college?"

"Yeah, she knows all about that too," he stated, very matter-of-factly.

"And she didn't have a problem with that?"  I questioned, mildly surprised.

"A little, but I told her I'd be coming back here and staying with you for
the summers, if that's okay with you?"  He looked concerned, like he
suddenly realized he had told her this without asking me first.  I quickly
took him off the hook.

"Of course it is.  You are welcomed here anytime, and for as long as you'd
like to stay.  What kind of a guy would tell his son that wasn't okay?"
Now he seemed to relax a bit, then let out a sigh, before he gave me
another hug.

"Thanks, Dad, I knew I could count on you."  At this point he was letting
his head rest upon my shoulder as he continued his embrace.  Suddenly his
head shot up and he looked at me.  "You don't mind if I call you dad once
in a while, do you?"

I could tell he just realized that he might have gone too far again.  By
the way he had stiffened just a few seconds ago, I knew that it had
suddenly hit him that he had called me that, without seeking my permission
to do so first.  Now I felt it was my turn to reassure him.  "No, son, that
doesn't bother me at all.  In fact, I'm honored to know you feel that way
about me."

Darren began to smile, now that he knew everything was all right, and he
hugged me once again.  I decided it was time to move on to other things, so
I spoke to him.

"Okay, so let's get back to Julie now," I announced, bringing him back from
wherever he was during this time.  "So she's fine with your going away and
just coming back for vacations?"

"I guess.  She knows that I'll probably have to move away from both areas
to eventually find a job in that field, so she knows most likely I'll only
be back to visit from time to time.  She seems cool with that, though."

"That's great.  As long as you two have discussed it and agreed that it
will work for both of you.  That's all that matters."  He smiled.

"And how about you?  Will that work for you too?"  He stared at me now,
studying my reaction.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, will it be all right with you if I'm only able to come back to
visit once in a while?  I know how much you've done for me, and I don't
want you to feel that I'm deserting you now and leaving you all alone
again."  He actually looked as if he felt he'd disappointed me and might
burst out in tears at any moment.

"Darren, I've told you before, you have to do what's best for Darren, and
then the rest will fall into place.  I'll be happy to see you whenever and
for however long you can manage, but the most important thing is that
you're happy and doing what you want to do.  If that's the case, then I'll
be satisfied and happy for you too.  You don't need to worry about me or
feel you owe me anything.  I'll be tickled pink just watching you grow and
develop into a fine young man.  I'll be here for you if ever you need me,
and I'll be happy to welcome you back, whenever you wish to come."  I guess
that was enough to convince him that I bore no ill feelings about his
plans, or about him in general.  He seemed satisfied that everything was
settled, and we could go on with our lives.

As June arrived, I began to slip into another funk, when I began to realize
that only one year earlier I had been spending a great deal of time with
Jared and Josh.  In fact, about this time last year, Sherry and I were
starting to plan for Jared's birthday party.  I began to remember those
times, thinking of all the things we had done, and all the time we had
spent together.  I remembered the swimming, the miniature golfing, the
fishing trips, and all the other ways we had spent time together.  I even
thought about how Jared had kept after me to do sexual things with him, how
I had put him off and stalled him for as long as I could, and then how I
had eventually given in to his desires.  I was going crazy remembering all
these times, and what bothered me even more was that I knew Jared's
birthday was approaching again, and it was only a month away.

Darren saw how depressed I was getting again, so he tried many different
ways to snap me out of this mental hole I had dug for myself.  First, he
tried to talk me into going places with him, or with Julie and him, but I
didn't feel much like going out.  Then he tried to get me to just go out
for meals, but I preferred to just whip a little something up at home.
Next, he even offered to do things with me again, like we had done in jail,
but I told him that wasn't necessary either.  I thanked him for his
concern, and his offer, but I told him I'd get over this in time.

Seeing nothing else had worked with me, Darren finally decided to use a
concern of mine to get me through this time.  I had just picked him up from
work, when he began to explain his idea to me.  "Hey, Dad, what do you say
we start an exercise routine, to help us both get back into shape?"  He
looked hopeful, waiting to see how I'd respond.  I thought about this for a
minute or two and eventually decided he had made a very good suggestion.  I
had wanted to get into better physical condition, so what better time to
start than now?  I also realized that doing something like exercising is
always harder to do alone, so why not begin while I had a partner?  I
concluded he had struck upon a very good idea here, so we'd run with it.

"Okay, that sounds great to me.  What exactly did you have in mind?"  Now I
threw the ball back into his court.

"Let me think.  Well, we could start every day with a swim, then maybe a
walk or a jog, and then come back to the house and do some exercises.
After that, we could work out with some weights.  Do you have any?"

"I have a few, but we can get whatever we need, if we decide to do this," I
explained, not wanting to put a damper on his plans.

"Good, and then at night we could go for another walk or jog, and then take
another dip in the pool before we call it a day.  That way we only tie up a
little time in the morning and a little more at night, and still have the
rest of the day free.  For you, it would mean you would do the first part
after you wake up each day, and the last part before you before you go to
bed.  For me, I'd do that first part after I get home from work, and the
last part after I wake up, and before I get ready to go in to work."

"Well, it sounds like a plan for me, if that works for you," I told him,
trying to sound as positive as I could about his idea.

"Great, do you want to start tomorrow then?"

"Sure, but I'll need to do some shopping first, to pick up some more
weights and things like that.  While you're sleeping today, I'll go to the
sporting goods store and check out their weight training equipment, and
pick out a few things, unless you'd like to go with me to do this?"

"I'd like to go too, if you don't mind."  His face had a pleading quality
to it now, and I knew I didn't want to disappoint him.

"We could go now, if you want, and then you could go to sleep after we get
back."

"Yeah, that would work for me."  He gave me a big grin.  We went out and
got in the Tahoe, drove down to the big sporting goods store, and we began
to look around.  Darren knew exactly what he thought we would need, but he
ran it all by me first, to make sure I was okay with all his selections.

While we were discussing what we might need, a store employee came over to
offer his assistance, and it was obvious he was also into bodybuilding.  He
and Darren got into discussions about the merits of the various pieces of
equipment, which items would be best for our combined needs, and what
discounts might be available, if we bought several items at once.  I was
surprised by Darren's negotiating skills, as most guys his age would just
assume the price was the price, but he was doing quite well on his own.
After a few more minutes he asked the employee to leave us alone, so we
could talk things over.  He agreed, and soon Darren and I were standing
there by ourselves.

"What do you think, Dad?" he asked, very directly.

"I think I'm amazed at how you dealt with that guy.  Where did you learn to
negotiate like that?"  He grinned at me.

"My dad is the sales manager at a car dealership back home, and I've
watched him work since I was a little kid.  I've also sat in on some of his
sales meetings, when he taught the new salespeople how to deal with the
customers.  I picked up a lot from him."

"So I've noticed.  Wherever you learned it, it was very impressive."

"Thanks, but what do you think about the equipment?"  He was suddenly very
business-like again.  "What things do you think we should get?"

"Hey, I'll bow to your expertise on that."  His smile began to dim.

"I can't make that choice.  You have to do that," he insisted.

"And why would that be?"

"Because I don't know how much you want to spend."  Now I understood his
concern, and I made up my mind to make it easier for him.

"I'm willing to spend whatever it takes to get us both back into shape.
You know the equipment better than I do, and you know what we need, so you
have to pick it out.  As long as they are things we need and we'll use,
then I'll pay whatever price you can negotiate.  Does that sound fair to
you?"  He still didn't look convinced, however.

"But I don't want to overspend or upset you," he insisted.

"You won't.  Just tell me what you think we need, work a price out with the
guy you were talking to earlier."

"That was the store manager," he interrupted, giving me a detail I had
missed before.

"Even better.  Work out the price with the manager, and then I'll either
tell you yes or no.  Will that get you off the hook then?"

"Yeah, thanks.  And I'll only get what we need," he added.

He went back and got the store manager, explained to him what we needed and
then he negotiated a price.  He actually got us fifteen percent off on all
the items we were going to purchase, and I thought that admirable, seeing
some of those items were also on sale.  Once I gave him the go ahead for
the purchase, he made the deal, and then Darren and a stock clerk set about
loading up the items on a dolly, getting them rung up, and then taking them
out to the car.  I gave Darren the keys, so they could load everything up,
while the manager and I completed the transaction.  After the manager ran
my credit card through the register and gave me the sales slip, I went out
to join Darren.  They were loading the final items in the back of the Tahoe
just as I arrived.

Darren was all smiles as we drove back home, and I knew I'd get my first
workout helping him unload these items from the car and carrying them into
the house.  I was right.  It was as demanding and tiring an exercise as I'd
had in quite a while, and Darren seemed to be enjoying my misery.

"It's a good thing we got this stuff," he explained, "because now I can see
how far out of shape you are."  He gave me an evil grin as he said this.

"Well, this old guy is going to eventually work you into the ground, trying
to keep up with me."  He readily accepted the gauntlet I had thrown down,
and gave me a taunting sneer.

"You can try, old man.  You can try," he challenged, and then he laughed
out loud.

"Hey, who are you calling an old man?" I shot back.

"Well, if the shoe fits." he began, but I didn't give him a chance to
finish, because I tackled him and wrestled him to the floor.  I immediately
knew this had been a mistake, because he was younger, stronger, and more
agile than I was, and soon he had me pinned to the floor and begging for
mercy.

"Ha!  See I told you that you were out of shape," he chortled, sitting on
my chest.  "Now, say you're an old man."  I wasn't going to give in, but he
began to bounce on my stomach and playfully slap me on my face.

"Okay, okay," I relented.  "So I'm an old man, so what?"

"So I'm going to work this old man back into shape."  He was still
grinning.

"You'll be sorry then," I informed him.

"Why?"

"Because once I'm in shape, I'll be sitting on your chest the next time."
He let out a loud guffaw after I said that, to let me know that he didn't
believe a word of it.

"In your dreams, old man," he teased.  "In your dreams."  He let me up, and
then he went off to get some sleep.  I used this time to think back upon
the past few hours, replaying them over in my mind and enjoying the
interaction we had just shared.

I eventually went to work on a new story, after enjoying my recollections
of my brief give and take with Darren.  I wasn't getting a lot done, but at
least temporarily he had made me forget about my problems and stop feeling
sorry for myself.  I did take time to fix a nice meal for him, so he'd have
something good before he went to work, and it was almost done when I heard
him in the shower.  Not bad timing.  He came downstairs, smiled when he saw
the table set and the food on it, and then he thanked me for taking care of
him like this.  We sat down to eat, and he ate well, and then he fixed a
lunch to take with him.  As soon as he was done with that, I took him to
work, telling him I'd see him later, when I picked him up after his shift.

"Don't forget we start our exercising today, old man," he added, as he
hopped out of the car, "so make sure you get plenty of rest."

"I won't forget and I'll be ready for you, you young smart ass," I
responded, not knowing what else to say.  As I turned to drive off, I saw
him wave at me, so I waved back, before I made the return trip home.

I had been home for about ten minutes, after dropping Darren off at work,
when the doorbell rang.  It was late and I was just getting ready to go to
bed, and I couldn't imagine whom it could be.  Suddenly I began to worry
that something had happened to Darren and someone was bringing him back
home.  I wondered if he might be sick or possibly have been injured during
that short time, so I hurried over to the door and opened it, to see what
was going on.  However, I wasn't prepared for what I discovered.  There
standing at my door was Sherry (Jared and Josh's mother).

"Bob, may I come in?  I think we need to talk."

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