Date: Fri, 13 Jun 2003 12:59:56 EDT
From: ErastesTouch@aol.com
Subject: Point of View - chapter 19

Legal Notice:

The following story may contain descriptions of graphic sexual acts.  These
acts may be between boys or between a man and a boy.  The story is a work
of fiction and has no basis in reality.

The author, or his designee, retains copyright to this story.  There may be
no reproducing or distribution of this story without expressed written
consent.

I wish to extend my thank you to Ed for his editorial assistance with this
chapter.

                  *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Point of View - by Erastes                            Copyright 2003 by Erastes
Chapter 19 - The various perspectives.                March 2003

I was shocked to see Sherry standing there, and I didn't respond right
away.  "Bob, I'm not going to bite," she informed me.  "I just think we
should talk."  This brought me back to reality.

"I'm sorry, Sherry.  Come in, please."  She entered and I guided her into
the living room.  I knew I was about to get the tongue-lashing of my life,
if not worse.

"Bob, I think there are a great many things we need to talk about."  I
decided to beat her to the punch and steal some of her thunder.

"Sherry, I don't know what to say.  I know a simple 'I'm sorry' won't be
sufficient and I wish there was some way I could erase the past or make
things better."  I was trying my best to make amends, even though I was
sure there was nothing I could do that would make things better.

"Bob, I'm not here to blame you," she interrupted, and her comment
surprised me.  "Yes, Jared and Josh have been hurt greatly by this whole
episode, but it wasn't from anything you did."  I was in total shock now,
and I sat dumbstruck.

"When I first learned about everything and was told what had happened
between you and my son, I was furious with you," she continued, "but that
only lasted until I talked to Jared.  He admitted that you two had been
intimate, and at first that disgusted me, but then Jared explained how he
kept pestering you to do those things with him, and how you had put him off
for such a long time.  All at once I began to realize that you hadn't
forced Jared into anything, and that he had been the aggressor, not you.
Suddenly, I began to realize that my son was...well, you know...gay...and
he had fallen in love with you.  I never realized that before, but once I
did, it was only too obvious how much he did love you.

"I understand that in the eyes of the law he was a minor at that time, so
legally it was wrong, no matter who instigated the contact, but I also
realized that you only treated him with love and tenderness.  I wish I
could say the same about those bastards he dealt with later.  I'm sorry
about the language, Bob, but that's the least offensive term I can think of
to describe how I feel about them.  If anyone harmed my sons it was them,
not you."  She paused here and took a deep breath, stared off in the
distance for a few seconds, and then she resumed what she wanted to say.

"It all began when that aide overheard something Josh had told his friend.
He wasn't judging you or his brother, but I think he wanted his friend to
try something similar with him.  However, once it was reported, that's when
the real abuse began.  Jared tried to explain that you'd never forced him
into anything, and both he and Josh had said they wouldn't sign any
statements or testify against you.  That's when the police, social workers,
and lawyers began to make their threats, and this is when the true abuse
began."  At this point she paused again, so she could wipe away the tears
that were forming in her eyes.  I felt really bad for her now, but I wasn't
sure what to say or do.  After this brief pause, she began again.

"They began by telling both boys they HAD to sign those statements and
testify against you, because you were bad and needed to be stopped.  Of
course neither boy believed that for even one second, so the threats began
to escalate.  Next, those same people told the boys that if they didn't
sign statements or testify against you, then all their friends would
conclude they had participated voluntarily.  When Jared said that's exactly
what had happened, they were then told that once their friends knew they
were gay, they'd turn on them and probably beat them up, or worse.  Those
threats failed to shake the boys' resolve as well, so even more pressure
was added.  That's when the boys were told that if they didn't sign the
statements and agree to testify, they would go to court and file PINS
petitions against both of them.  The acronym PINS stands for 'Persons In
Need of Supervision', and the authorities were threatening to claim the
boys weren't properly supervised and that I wasn't a fit parent, because I
had allowed this to happen.  They said if I had been more diligent in my
duties as a mother, I would never have allowed them to spend that much time
with you.  Then they threatened that if the courts agreed with them, the
boys would be taken away from me and placed in other homes.  That's when
the boys began to show signs of breaking, but they still didn't give in.
However, after the courts ruled against them and they were picked up, taken
away, and held in a group facility, then both boys relented and told the
authorities they'd do what they wanted.  I think that was only to keep me
from being alone, though.

"After they were returned to me, I watched how they both began to suffer
for what they had done or were about to do.  Jared would come home from
school every night and shut himself in his room, only coming out to eat,
and then he wouldn't eat very much.  It broke my heart to stand outside his
door nearly every night and listen as he cried himself to sleep, because he
knew how much harm his agreeing to cooperate had done to you.  Josh wasn't
quite that bad, but he also felt extremely bad about the problems he had
caused for you, and how badly it had all hurt his brother.

"I've never seen my boys as depressed and unhappy as they were after this
all began to happen, but as the time approached where they'd have to
testify against you, with you sitting in the same room, they were totally
inconsolable.  The night before the court date, I had my hands full trying
to keep them from losing it.  Neither of them wanted to do this, and they
even asked me what would happen if they refused to talk or if they claimed
none of this had ever happened, and then they even talked about running
away.  I explained that the authorities would probably hold good to their
threat if they did anything like that, and they'd be taken from me again.
That's when they tried to talk me into just packing up and leaving, and
only coming back after this was all over.  If they had suggested this
earlier, I might have gone along with their request, but at this time I
felt it was too late to do something like that.

"Even as we left the house that morning, I still didn't know what the boys
were going to do once we got there.  There was a lot of whispering going on
in the back seat of my car, and I was really afraid to ask them what they
planned to do."  She took another brief pause at this point, to wipe her
eyes once more and clear her throat.  Finally, I came to my senses and
asked her if she'd like a drink or something, and she said a glass of water
would be nice.  I ran out and got her a nice big glass, filled it with ice
cubes and water, and delivered it to her.  She thanked me, took a big
drink, and then she continued.

"That morning at the courthouse, none of us realized you were on the
elevator when we got on it.  When the boys saw you, they began to feel even
worse than they had before.  They couldn't even lift their heads to look at
you or acknowledge your presence, and I could tell how this was eating at
them.  Once you and your lawyer disappeared from sight, both boys began to
cry and they were almost hysterical as we sat outside the courtroom.  I
went to beg the D.A. not to make them testify, explaining how much
emotional pain this was causing them, but I was soon informed that they
would either testify or they'd be taken away from me before we had a chance
to go home.  At that point I lost it and called the D.A. a few choice
names, and I was about to get a lecture from him, but that was when he was
called into the courtroom."  Now she paused again, and took another drink
of water.

"A few minutes later the D.A. came back out, and he brusquely informed me
that the boys wouldn't be needed and I could take them home.  Now the three
of us sat there totally bewildered and confused, until we finally heard
that you had accepted a plea bargain and pled guilty."  Now she stopped
again and looked me squarely in the eyes.  "Bob, we all know that you did
this to prevent them from having to take the stand and do something they
didn't want to do."  She now got up and came over to hug me. As soon as she
released me, she began to walk around, resuming her explanation as she did
so.

"Out of all of those people, you were the only one who put my boys' welfare
above your own situation or career.  No matter what you and Jared did, I
know it was done out of love and that you alone would never do anything to
harm him.  The boys and I talked this over at home later, and we all agreed
that we would be forever in your debt.  Rather than put the boys in that
horrendous position of testifying against you, you took them off the hook
and went to jail, sacrificing yourself to save them.  Bob, we all love you
dearly, and the boys miss you and want things to go back to the way they
were."  Her eyes seemed to be pleading with me at this moment.

Now that I understood the drift of her visit, and I knew she wasn't here to
rip me a new asshole for what I had done to her sons, but now I had to face
something far worse.  I could have understood and taken her abuse and
anger, but this was a bombshell I had never even considered.  No matter how
much I might want to resume the life we had before all this had taken
place, I knew nothing like this could happen now.  While I was in jail, I'd
conceded that I wouldn't dare to even approach them until both boys were of
legal age.  Now I had to inform Sherry of that same fact.  "Sherry, I don't
see that happening, at least not now."

I think this stunned Sherry more than anything else that had happened, and
she looked totally confused and disappointed now.  "It's not that I
wouldn't want that to happen," I continued, "but that would open up a whole
new can of legal worms for me."  I could see the wheels turning in her
mind.

"I don't think it has to be that way," she countered.  "My boss has a very
good friend who is a lawyer, and he worked it so I could get some legal
advice from him, without having to pay.  He told me that as soon as Jared
celebrated his next birthday, he'd have reached the age of consent in this
state, and then the two of you could do whatever you wanted.  If you
remember, his birthday is in just a few weeks."

Now I was speechless, as I tried to rationalize the things Sherry had just
told me.  I don't know how long I sat there before I could respond, but
eventually I came back to my senses and broke the silence.  "Sherry, I
don't want to argue with you, but I know my lawyer told me that a
restraining order had been issued, keeping me away from you and the boys.
If I ignore that, I could go back to jail.  I'm sorry, but that's not a
place I want to ever see again."

"I understand," she replied, sympathetically, "but I've also done some
checking on that.  The restraining order had a six-month time limit on it,
and was only meant to keep you from swaying our testimony or threatening
us.  That is already invalid now."

Now I had to take time to digest this information.  Again I sat silent,
once more having no idea about how much time had passed.  When I looked
back at Sherry, I could see she was hopeful that I would accept her logic,
yet dreading I might reject her argument.  Finally, I broke the silence
again.  "Sherry, I don't know what to say or do.  Before I can make any
decisions, I'll have to consult both of my attorneys, to see what advice
they have for me.  All I can tell you is I'll consider everything you've
said, but I can't make any promises.  I still love you and the boys, and I
know now that they only did what they felt they had to, for their own
welfare.  I will never hold that against them, but I'm also not sure
whether or not anything like that can happen between us again.  I thank you
for coming, because at least now I know that you and the boys don't hate
me, and I understand now why things happened as they did."  I was going to
say more, but Sherry interrupted me yet again.

"Bob, you wouldn't hesitate if you could see how much Jared wants to be
with you.  I'm not sure I'll ever understand why he's attracted to guys,
instead of girls, but I do know he couldn't have made any better choice for
a lover."  She smiled at me, while I blushed.  "I know there is no one in
this world, or any other, who would love him more than you do, and I give
you both my blessing.  All I ask is that you come back into his life and
heal his pain.  Even Josh needs you, though not in the same way, and we'll
all be better with you in our lives again."

What in the hell could I say to that?  I appreciated her understanding and
her acceptance of the situation, but there were still the legal issues to
be considered.  I failed to do that once, and look what it got me, so I
wasn't about to make that same mistake again.  "Sherry, I don't know if you
could ever understand how much your visit has helped and how much it means
to me, but the best I can tell you is I'll take this under advisement.
I'll contact my lawyers and get their opinion of the legal aspects of what
you've told me.  I don't know what more I can do."

Sherry studied me now, and I wasn't sure what she was sizing me up for.
Finally she ended my curiosity, and let me know what she was thinking.
"You could end Jared and Josh's misery, and make Jared the happiest kid in
the world again.  I have watched him suffer and withdraw from the world
during the past few months, and I'd like to have the boy back that only you
can give me.  He blossomed under your guidance and your love, and that's
the kid I want back now.  You, and only you, can do that for all of us."

I didn't respond, and tried to digest what she had just told me, but I knew
she was waiting for my answer.  I had to say something, or she might not
leave.  "Sherry, I told you the best I can do is consider this and talk
things over with my lawyers.  If and when I make a decision, you will be
the first to know."

She looked slightly disappointed, but I think she realized that was the
best response she was going to get for now.  Accepting that, she finally
decided it was time to leave.  "Bob, just don't forget how much that boy
loves you.  In fact, if you hadn't made that plea agreement, I'm afraid
Jared would have risked the chance of being taken away from me, before he
would have testified against you.  He was extremely hurt and saddened
knowing you were going to jail, but I think he was relieved that he didn't
have to feel like he was the one who put you there.  I'll always love you
for doing that for him."

After I had digested what she had just said, I thanked her for coming once
more, and then she went home.  Now I sat down to analyze everything she had
told me.  Later, when I glanced over to see what time it was, it was
already 2:00 a.m., and I'd have to get up at 7:00, so I'd be there to pick
Darren up at 7:30.  However, getting up would be the easy part, because
after that he'd be dragging me off to begin our exercise regimen.  I wasn't
sure this would be a good time to start this, but I didn't want to
disappoint Darren either, seeing I knew how much he was counting on this
happening.

I hustled to bed, but my mind was still reeling from everything that had
happened tonight.  I'm not sure what time I actually fell asleep, but it
seemed as if I had just dozed off when the alarm began to buzz.  Wearily, I
turned it off, rolled out of bed, and began to put my clothes on.  I
dragged myself to the bathroom, to relieve myself, and brushed my teeth,
but I seemed to have as much strength as an eighty-year old paraplegic.
Somehow I did manage to drag myself downstairs, got into the S.U.V., and
drove to Wal-Mart to pick up Darren.  I could see him talking to his
girlfriend as I drove up, and he raced out to join me.  As he entered the
vehicle, he took one look at me, and then his mouth dropped open.

"Dad, you look awful.  What's wrong with you?"  He had this extremely
worried expression on his face, and I knew I would have to try to reassure
him.

"It's nothing," I told him.  "I just had a visitor after I brought you to
work last night, so I didn't get very much sleep."  He continued to stare
at me.

"We don't have to start exercising today," he told me, showing his concern.

"No, I'll be fine.  If I need a little nap later, I can take one while
you're sleeping, but for now we have to begin our program.  The quicker I
get into shape, the faster I'll whip your butt."

Darren took this as a challenge, and I knew I'd get one hell of a workout
now.  "Okay, but remember you asked for it," he informed me.  We drove home
and then went in and put on our swimsuits for a little dip in the pool.  We
did a bunch of laps before we got out, and then we changed into our jogging
gear and went for a walk, rather than a jog.  Due to the fact that I was
afraid of running into Jared, we didn't walk anywhere near my home, and
because I didn't want to run into any younger kids, we didn't go to the
local school either.  Instead, I drove over to the college, and we took our
walk around the campus.

It wasn't a nice leisurely stroll, as you might take with a lover, but this
was an energetic pace where we got our heart rates up quickly, and then
maintained them with our quick, long strides.  We finished our walk by
doing the final two laps around the track, and then we went on the infield
to do our exercises.  Darren was like a drill sergeant calling out what
exercises we were going to do, and then counting each one off as we did it.
After doing a variety of exercises, we took a more relaxing walk and some
stretches, to work the toxins out of our muscles.  Once we had finished
that, we went back home.

When we got there, I helped Darren assemble some of the devices we had
bought for our weight training, including a weight bench and a couple of
training stations.  Putting those items together and lifting all the parts
was workout enough for me today, so we stopped after that, and called it an
end to our first morning session.  Now we both went up to shower, but
Darren went to bed once he had cleaned up, and I went back down to my
office to get a little writing done.  All in all, I felt pretty good after
that first go at this, and pleased that I had actually held up better than
I might have expected.

The rest of my day seemed to go pretty slowly.  I couldn't get into writing
after that, and I spent much of my time thinking about what Sherry had told
me earlier.  Even though I had concluded that Jared and Josh would probably
never have reported me on their own, I never imagined the extent to which
the authorities had gone to secure my conviction.  I thought about Sherry's
comment that both boys had been harmed, but not by me, and I began to
appreciate what she had meant by that.  Sure Jared and I had enjoyed some
sexual activities together, and the little shit had made me feel alive
again, but I don't think Sherry OR Jared felt I had harmed him in any way.
However, the contempt she felt for the authorities was obvious and
deep-seated.

Not only had they forced that sweet kid to make a statement and testify
against someone he loved, but they had threatened him to make him do it.
When the boys balked, the authorities even went so far as to make good on
their threat, to get what THEY wanted.  Did this show any concern for the
boys' welfare?  Did this harm them even more than I could ever have done,
even if what we had done was as bad as the legal system claimed?  Were they
really protecting the boys, or just making a name for themselves and
possibly furthering their own private agendas or careers?  In the long run,
who really harmed these boys more?

I guess those were the same sort of questions Sherry had been asking, and I
concluded she had already made up her mind on those points.  Now she was
asking me back into her sons' lives, pretty much giving me a green light as
far as Jared was concerned, but I still had the law to consider.  To this
end I sat down and called Bruno first, explaining the situation and
discussing my concerns with him.  I also questioned him about some of the
things Sherry had told me, just a few hours before.

Bruno was very patient and went over everything in great detail.  He
informed me about all the laws that pertained to this situation, explained
how these laws might be interpreted, and then he offered me suggestions
about how he perceived everything I had told him.  Before I concluded my
conversation with him, I asked about the restraining order, and he said
he'd have to go read that again, to see what legal ramifications that might
have for me.  He told me he'd call me and give me his honest opinion, after
he'd had a chance to do that.  He also told me he had talked to Sherry and
the boys that day at court, after I had been led to jail, and he told me he
knew they all still considered me a friend.  He also explained that it was
easy for him to see how crushed they were, because they had inadvertently
caused me to have to go to jail.  He wished me well, and told me he'd be
back in touch shortly, and then I thanked him before we concluded our
conversation.

After I finished talking to Bruno, I called Jack, so I could also get his
take on this situation too.  I think he was surprised and concerned about
me resuming relations with any of them, but then I went into great detail
about our past experiences and about the things Sherry had told me.  After
listening to all of this, I think he changed his perspective too, and now
he just warned me to be careful.  He did mention a few things that I
thought were relevant and highly significant before we concluded our
discussion, and I thanked him for his point of view.  Now I went back to
think things over once more, while I waited for Bruno's return call.  I
wasn't sure when that would be, but for now I couldn't concentrate on
anything else.

I was actually surprised when Bruno called later that day, as I thought it
would take him longer to complete his investigation.  First, he told me he
had read over the order of protection and had determined that it was no
longer in force.  He said it had been a temporary order, to protect the
boys before the trial, and he had found no other documents that extended it
or set any new parameters limiting my contact with them.  I thanked him
once more, although I realized I'd be getting a bill for this service, but
I was happy to have a better understanding about how things stood now.

I was still mulling all this over when Darren woke up, and he was ready and
raring to go again.  He told me to get my swimsuit back on, so we could go
for a swim, and actually I thought this distraction would be good for me
right now.  We swam more laps, and actually did a few aerobic type
exercises in the water, and then we got out, dried off, and changed into
our jogging outfits again.  Once we were ready, we drove back to the campus
and duplicated our earlier walk.  The only difference was, this time we
didn't do the exercises after we finished our walk.

After we got back, we both showered, and then I worked on fixing him a
meal, while he got ready for work and fixed a lunch to take with him.  When
we sat down to eat, he asked me a question.  "What's up, Dad?  You've
seemed distracted ever since I woke up."

I quickly explained to him about Sherry's visit, some of the things she'd
said, and the implications of what she had requested.  He listened very
carefully, and then he spoke.  "It sounds like that kid loves you even more
than I do."

I was somewhat surprised by his comment.  I looked up to study his
expression, and he decided to continue his train of thought.  "I'm not gay,
so I don't love you that way, but I could sure see how someone could.  I
think this boy wants and needs you, as much as you want and need him, so go
for it as soon as he's legal.  Once he's old enough to make those decisions
for himself, you two should be very happy."

I appreciated his comments, but wasn't sure I understood his true feelings
about this.  "You mean you don't disapprove of my having a sexual
relationship with this boy?"

"No way.  I enjoyed the things we did when we did them, and I can see how
someone else could enjoy that too."

"And it wouldn't keep you from coming back to see me, or change your
opinion of me?"

"Not at all.  In fact, I'd probably just consider him a little brother, and
a very lucky little brother at that."

"And what do you mean by that?"

"I mean he'd be very lucky to have such a loving, caring, and gentle lover
as you."  Now he gave me one of his special grins.

"Are you sure about that?  I mean, are you sure something like that
wouldn't bother you?  What if you came back to visit and he wanted to sleep
with me that night?"

"Not a problem, as long as you don't mind if Julie does the same with me."
Now he winked at me.

"Hmmm, I should have known there was a method behind your madness."  I
winked back at him.

"But really, that's not why I said it wouldn't bother me.  Of course, I
didn't think it would hurt for me to take advantage of this situation
either."  He was grinning again.

"Well, you're old enough to make your own choices, so I won't try to make
your decisions for you.  The only thing I ask is that you go slowly and be
very careful."

"Yes, Dad, I will."  He had this huge grin on his face now.  "It sure is
nice to know someone cares that much about me," he added.

About this time I took Darren to work, and I had only been home a few
minutes again when the doorbell rang.  However, this time I suspected who
it was, so I went to the door to let her in.  "Hi, Bob.  I hope you don't
mind my stopping in on my way home from work again."

"No, Sherry.  I was still up."

"Have you considered the things I asked you last night?"

"I've hardly done anything else."  She looked pleased to hear this.

"So, what have you decided?"

"I haven't yet, but I have checked on some of the things you've told me."

"And I hope you're leaning in the right direction then.  I can't overstate
how much my son needs you.  He has withdrawn back into his shell since this
has happened, his grades plummeted during the school year, and he's been so
unhappy it's made me cry many times.  I know that only you can bring the
old Jared back to me again."

"But how do you feel about all of this?"  She looked puzzled.

"What do you mean?  I've told you I want you back in his life."

"I know, but how do you feel knowing about the types of things we've done?"

"Oh, that.  Well, I knew sooner or later my boys would be getting into sex.
I just didn't expect either of them would be doing it with another male."

"So what do you think about him doing it with a male my age?"

"Bob, I trust Jared's judgment, and I know he's chosen a sweet, gentle
lover.  If you're the one Jared wants, I won't stand in his way."

"So you have no problems with this?"

"I always thought I'd have a daughter-in-law, not a son-in-law, especially
one my age."  She released a nervous little giggle at this point.

"Older than you," I corrected.

"I still don't mind.  I know how much you've meant to him and how much
you've done for him.  He was a completely different kid after you came into
his life, and the changes in him were all positive.  He was very fortunate
to have found you in the first place, and I don't want him to lose you now,
because of what he was forced to do."

"I don't hold that against him, Sherry, nor do I hold it against Josh
either.  I totally understand why they did what they did."

"Then you'll come back into his life?"

"I didn't say that, and I haven't reached a conclusion yet.  The lawyer
says there is nothing to stop me, once he reaches legal age, but then
there's the issues concerning Josh."

"With Josh?  Did you plan on doing things with him too?"  Now she looked a
little panicked.

"No, Sherry, but how could I allow Jared to come down to my house and then
tell Josh he isn't welcome?  That would be very hard on him, and Jared and
me too."

"But why couldn't he come down too?  He has in the past, unless you don't
want him there while you and Jared are having sex."

"That's not it, Sherry.  However, Josh will still be a minor, and I could
be charged with corrupting him again, even if I could legally do things
with Jared."

"Ah, I hadn't thought of that, but I don't think that would be a problem.
There's no way he'd ever say anything like that in public again, and he has
missed you nearly as much as Jared has."

"Those things may be true, but Josh presents a whole new set of problems
for me.  I'll have to do some more research and thinking about this, before
I can give you an answer."

"I understand, but please don't close them out of your life without giving
them one more chance.  They both love you so much, though each in a
different way."

"I know that, Sherry, and I love them too, but I'm just not sure that's
enough right now.  Until I'm satisfied that I can continue to protect
myself, as well as them, I won't be able to make any commitments.  Can you
understand that?"

"Perfectly, and I appreciate your honesty and your cautiousness.  I also
know you not only want what is best for you, but what's best for the boys
too, and that's why I trust you implicitly."  She smiled, thanked me for my
time, and then said good-bye.  As she drove home, I knew there was a bit of
pressure for me to make a decision here, but I still wasn't sure what I was
going to do.  There was no way I wanted to go back to jail, let alone go to
prison, so I had to weigh the options and do what was best for me.  I would
contact Bruno again, to further investigate some of my other concerns.

                    *    *     *     *     *     *     *     *

Positive emails may be sent to ErastesTouch@aol.com