Date: Sun, 16 Mar 2003 17:36:37 EST
From: ErastesTouch@aol.com
Subject: Point of View, chapter 3

Legal Notice:
The following story may contain descriptions of graphic sexual acts.  These
acts may be between boys or between a man and a boy.  The story is a work
of fiction and has no basis in reality.

The author, or his designee, retains copyright to this story.  There may be
no reproducing or distribution of this story without expressed written
consent.

I wish to extend my thank you to Ed for his editorial assistance with this
chapter.

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Point of View - by Erastes                       Copyright 2000 by Erastes
Chapter 3 - The dilemma.                         December 2002

The next day, when Jared arrived, I figured I'd have to set some new ground
rules, if I was going to prevent anything from happening.  I wasn't sure
how I was going to approach this, but I knew it had to be done.  When he
showed up at my door, I asked him in and we sat down.  I swallowed hard,
before I began to speak.

"Jared, I think in order to prevent any more compromising situations from
happening, I'm going to suggest that you bring a couple changes of clothes
here, something that you can leave here and won't be missed at home.  If
you don't have extra clothes to leave, then I'll write down your sizes and
buy you something, the next time I go shopping.  That way, if you get wet
or you get all hot and sweaty, you'll have something else to put on, so you
won't be tempted to run around naked any more.  You can keep them in the
guest bathroom, so that way there will be no excuse for you to come
downstairs with nothing on."

He looked really sad, as I explained this to him, and I almost felt like a
bastard for even bringing it up.  I knew he was doing this mainly because
he thought it would please me, however it was just bringing me closer to
crossing my own moral line in the sand.  He was looking down at this point,
but I thought I saw tears in his eyes, so I lifted his chin, so we could
look at each other, full in the face.  As I lifted his head he spoke to me.

"Don't you like me any more?"

"I most certainly do like you, but that's the problem.  I like you too
much, and I'm beginning to think of doing things with you...things that I
have no right to consider."

"Tell me what they are, and maybe we can do them."  His face had brightened
and his eyes pleaded with me now.

"No, Jared.  That's the problem.  I couldn't do those things with you, even
if you wanted me to.  You're not old enough to get involved in such
activities."

"Says who?" he challenged, defiantly.

"The law, that's who.  You haven't reached the age of consent yet, so even
if you did agree to do anything like that, the law would say I forced you
or conned you into doing it."

"That's not right, and it's not fair."

"Maybe not, but that's the way it works.  That's why I have to be so
careful."  He studied me, as if he were trying to read my thoughts, but he
obviously didn't find what he was looking for.  After many seconds of doing
this, he just let out a sigh, and then he began to sob.  It broke my heart
to see him like this, and I instinctively tried to comfort him, by pulling
his head against my chest and wrapping my arms around him.  I'm not sure if
it comforted him at all, but it did give me an immediate erection, which
was just what I didn't want to happen.  Jared must have noticed my little
problem, even through all those tears, and he reached out and began to run
his hand across it.  At first I just enjoyed his gentle touch, as it didn't
really register in my brain what was going on, but when I realized what was
happening, I pulled away from him, and put some distance between us.

"Bob, what's wrong?  I thought you would like that."

"I do, but that's just what I was talking about.  It's not something we
should be doing."

"Why not, if I want to, and we are both enjoying it?"

"I just explained that to you.  It's against the law, that's why.  I could
end up in jail or prison, if anyone found out what just happened."

"But that's just the point," he advised me.  "There is no way anyone else
can ever find out about what we do.  I won't tell anyone, and I know you
won't, so how else could they know what we are doing?"

"Someone could see us, you could talk in your sleep, or someone could
overhear a comment you make to me or find something you have written.
There are a number of ways we could get discovered."

"This sucks.  It really sucks.  I finally find someone I really like, and
someone I think who likes me too, and I can't do anything with him."

"Well, at least not until you're a little older."  He gave me a disgusted
look.

"Bob, did you ever mess around with another boy, when you were younger?"  I
thought a minute before I answered him, not sure about how truthful I
should be with him.  Finally I decided I might as well not try to hide
anything from him, so I responded.

"Yes, I did, and I think a lot of boys have done the same thing, both gay
and straight.  It's just a time to experiment and learn, when you're that
age.  The difference is, I'm not that age any more."

"Well, I am, and I need to experiment and learn with too."

"Yes, but you need to do it with someone from your own age group, or close
to it, and not with someone as old as me."  He gave me another look, one
mixed with confusion and desire.

"But I've tried that, and I haven't found any other boys my age who want to
mess around like that.  When I suggested it to someone before, they asked
me if I was a fag or something, so I just let it drop.  I don't need for
them to start saying things like that about me in school, or I'd probably
end up without any friends at all.  That's why it would be better if I did
things with you.  That way I'd be safe from having the other guys find out
about me, because if they did, they'd make me suffer, big time."  I didn't
know how to answer this, because I knew how cruel other kids could be.  I
just knew I couldn't be of any help to him, at least until he was a little
older.  We sat in silence for several minutes, just looking at each other,
and that was beginning to make us both uneasy.  I knew I couldn't let this
continue, so I asked him a question.

"So, do you think you're gay?"

"I'm pretty sure, cuz all I ever think about is other guys, and not just
ones my age either.  I've been thinking about you almost every minute since
we met.  You are everything I've ever wanted.  A father, a lover, and a
friend, all rolled into one."  I was touched by his comment, but I couldn't
let him weaken my resolve.

"Jared, I can be two of those for you.  If you want me to be a father
figure, I will.  If you want me to be your friend, I will do that too, but
I just can't fill that last role for you, at least not just yet."  He was
half smiling at this point, but the tears were still streaming down his
cheeks.

"Bob, I love you so much, and I'd like you to be my father and my friend,
but I don't know if I can stop from wanting more than that."

"Well, we'll both have to work at controlling our desires, won't we?"  He
moved quickly in my direction now, throwing his arms around my neck and
squeezing me tightly.  I gave in and did the same to him.  I knew what he
was feeling, because I was having the same feelings for him.  As our bodies
rubbed against each other, we both sprouted wood, and we just looked at
each other and began to giggle about it.  We had an understanding between
us now, though we would have to make sure that we didn't break that pledge.

Jared and I sat down at this point and discussed how we would handle things
from this moment on.  He liked the idea that I would be like a father to
him, and he agreed to bring a change of clothes to leave here, and I told
him I'd buy him a few extra items, things that would be appropriate for
what we might do.  He seemed to like that idea, so I knew I'd have to make
a list of items I thought he would need, before I went shopping the next
time.

At this point, he also had a question for me.  "Bob, I know this is going
to sound like something a little kid would ask, but as long as I'm
pretending you're my father, could I call you dad too?  It's really
important to me to be able to do that, so could I?  Please?  Pretty
please?"  He now had that pleading look he'd given me before, whenever he
wanted me to let him do something he thought I might not agree to.  When I
didn't answer him right away, he continued.

"I've always wondered what it would be like to have a dad who wanted me
around and do things with me, like we've been doing.  You won't need to do
anything different or anything special, okay?"  He gave me another
pathetic, pleading look after he said that.  I had already decided to agree
to this, as long as he realized he couldn't do it all the time.

"Jared, I don't mind if you call me dad, when we're here alone, but I don't
think it is something you can do at other times, however.  I'm pretty sure
your mother or brother wouldn't appreciate hearing you call me that, and
others might think it means we are doing more than just pretending to be
father and son."

"Like what?"  He did look puzzled.

"Like the other things you've been trying to get me to do."  Now there was
a glimmer of understanding in his eyes, and he gave me a sly little grin.

"Well, we could do those things too," he insisted.

"Jared, we've already been down this road, and I thought we had reached an
agreement."

"I know, and we did, but you can't blame me for trying, can you?"

"Well, not this time, but I don't want you to keep bringing this up.  It's
an issue we've discussed, and one that we've reached an agreement on, so I
do not want to argue this point any more.  Okay?"

"I suppose, as long as you know I'd still like to do those things with
you."

"I don't think I could ever forget that."  I made a face at him, after
making my comment, and he burst out laughing, especially after he realized
he hadn't been very subtle in his efforts to seduce me.  Now we had our
agreement, and I felt he'd uphold his end of the bargain, at least for now.

That afternoon we didn't do much work, but we did enjoy each other's
company, now that Jared's games were concluded.  He told me more about his
family, his life, and school, and I told more about me, and what it was
like for me growing up.  As lunchtime approached, I told him I'd fix us
both something to eat, and he asked me if he could run home for a few
minutes, while I was doing that.  I told him that would be fine, and he ran
down, hopped on his bike, and pedaled home.  I assumed he went home because
he had something he needed to do, like fix his brother's lunch, do a chore,
or maybe his mother had told him she'd call him about then.  Whatever the
reason he had gone, it really didn't matter, and I continued to fix us some
lunch, while I awaited his return.

When he came back, he was carrying a paper bag, and he tossed it to me as
he entered the door.  I looked at him, confused as to why he had done this,
and he merely told me to open it.  I did, and when I looked inside, there
were a pair of his shorts, a pair of his underwear, and the extra-small
swimsuit he had on the other day.  "They're the extra things you told me to
keep here," he advised me.  "Are those okay?"

"They're fine.  Why don't we eat, and then I'll show you where you can keep
them.  Would that be okay with you?"

He smiled at me.  "Yeah, that would be great."

We ate our lunch, and then we went up to the guest bathroom, and I cleared
off a shelf in the linen cabinet where he could keep his extra clothes.  He
had a look of satisfaction and triumph on his face, as he placed them
there, and I think he felt that he belonged here now.

We just watched some TV after lunch, with Jared cuddled up against my side.
I know I said I couldn't allow that to happen, but that was before we had
reached our agreement.  Even if I got excited now, I wasn't worried, and I
knew that we would both try to control our urges.  It was worth the risk to
show this kid some fatherly affection, something he desperately longed for.
Besides, I think I was going to enjoy this too, now that I wasn't so
worried about screwing up.

Jared loved the closeness, and he just kind of melted against my body.  I
lifted my arm, and draped it over his shoulder, and he merely looked up at
me, with this glow radiating from his face.  It was such a lovely sight,
and it made me feel good to think that I had been the one who had caused
that wonderful expression.  We continued to watch the program, but when a
commercial came on, Jared turned to ask me a question.  "Dad, would you
mind if I got a soda?  I'm kind of thirsty."

Now he looked at my face, as if he were trying to gage my reaction to his
calling me 'Dad'.  I thought I'd surprise him, and maybe get him to relax a
bit.  "No, son, that would be fine," I answered him.

Now he jumped up and straddled my lap, throwing his arms around my neck,
and planting a big kiss on my lips.  It was a fatherly kiss, not that of a
lover, and I knew that was the way he meant it to be.  He was just so
excited I had acknowledged his comment in that manner that he couldn't
contain himself, and he got a little wild.  It was kind of a neat thing to
experience, though.

"Oh, Dad, it was so nice to hear you say that to me.  You don't know how
much it means to me to hear you call me son.  Thank you.  Thank you so very
much!"  He was almost hopping up and down on my lap now, because he was so
excited.  I finally got him settled down, and then I sent him off to get
his drink.  As he was walking out to the kitchen, I called out to him
again.

"By the way, son, could you get me one too, while you're out there?"  When
he turned around this time, he was sporting the broadest grin I had ever
seen on his face.  That smile was nearly splitting his face in two, as it
extended from ear to ear, and he was just radiant.

"Sure, Dad," he replied, and soon he came back carrying two sodas, one for
each of us.  He squeezed back in beside me, still sporting that huge smile,
and we finished watching our program, while sipping on our drinks.  When
the program was over, it was nearly dinnertime, so I suggested he head back
home.  He agreed to do that, though reluctantly, as he didn't seem to want
to leave me now.  I watched him as he pedaled away, and he turned back to
wave to me several times before he disappeared from sight.  However, I
imagined I'd see him back at my door, just as soon as his mother left for
work again.

Almost as if right on cue, about an hour later I heard my front door open,
and a voice holler out, "Dad, I'm home."

I ran to greet him, not only because I was anxious to see him again, but
also because I knew that would make him happy.  It did, and he lit up again
when he saw me hurrying in his direction.  I scooped him up, lifting him
off the floor, swung him in a circle, and exclaimed, "Damn, have I missed
you."

"Why?  I've only been gone for about an hour."  He looked puzzled.

"It's because I miss you soooo much, even when you're only gone a minute."
His confused expression began to lift, as a light went on in his head.  He
began to hop around now, sort of like he was doing some weird and crazy
dance.

"Do you have ants in your pants, or what?" I asked him.

"No, it's just that you make me feel so good every time we're together.  I
feel so special when I'm around you."

"Well, you are special, whether you're around me or not."

"You know what I mean.  You make me feel like I belong, that I'm part of
your family, and that I'm loved.  I've always wanted that, and always
wondered what it would be like to have a father who cared about me like
that.  My mother tries to do her best, and I know she loves me, but a boy
needs a dad.  Women just don't understand that."

"I know what you mean, so you don't have to try to explain further.  So,
what would you like to do tonight?"

"I don't know.  As long as I'm with you, anything would be fine."  He
smiled at me again, and I tried to think of what might keep us occupied.

"Hey, kiddo.  What if I take you shopping, so we can pick up a few things?
How does that sound?"

"Sure, that will be fine."

"Are you sure you won't be missed?  I mean, no one will come looking for
you and panic if you're not here, will they?"

"Nah, they won't even think about me, until I go back home later."

"Okay then, let's go hop in the Tahoe."

Jared and I went out and got in my SUV, and I started the engine.  I know
I'm breaking another of my own rules, to avoid going to places where I
might be tempted by other cute boys, but seeing I would be with Jared, I
didn't think that would be a problem.  While I was with him, I wouldn't
need anyone else, so I wasn't concerned about being tempted, and we would
behave ourselves while we were together.

I pulled in to my favorite stopping place, the local Wal-Mart, except I was
here several hours earlier than I would normally arrive.  We went inside,
and I led him directly to the boys department, so I could pick him up a few
things.  Seeing he was small for his age, I knew we could outfit him here,
so I began walking around, to get an idea of what might be appropriate.

"What are we doing here?" he asked.

"I thought I'd pick you up a few extra things to keep at the house."

"You don't have to spend your money on me.  I brought some things down."

"I know, but I think we should have some extra items around, just in case.
Besides, why can't a dad buy his son a few things?"  The corners of his
mouth began to curl when I said this, and soon a huge grin had appeared on
his face.

"Okay, Dad.  I can live with that."

I picked out a couple of pairs of shorts for him, and a couple of shirts to
go with them, and then I selected a package of briefs, ones that I thought
would look very sexy on him.  I don't know why I did this, because I'd only
be adding fuel to the fire when I saw him in them, and I knew I would, but
I did it anyway.  We also picked up a couple of sweat suits for him, for
when it turned colder, but I also led him over to the swimwear table, so he
could pick out a couple of swimsuits.

"Why do I need these?" he asked.  "I can just skinny-dip in your pool,
can't I?"

"I don't think that would be such a good idea.  You may pick out any two
pairs you want, but I think you will need one, and a backup."  Grudgingly
he gave in to me.  He began to look around the area, checking out all the
different styles, and then his eyes lit up.

"Okay, I'll take two of these," he said, pointing at the speedos.

"Are you sure that's what you want?  What if we have company?  Do you want
other people to see you running around in something that skimpy?"

"If I've got to wear something in your pool, that's what I want.  Okay?"

"Hey, if you're sure, but you'd better try them on first, because you can't
return swimsuits later."  He nodded his understanding, picked out a red and
a medium blue pair, and headed toward the dressing rooms.  I continued to
look at the other styles.

"Hey, Dad, aren't you coming?" he asked, when he looked around and saw I
wasn't with him.

"Do I need to?"

"Yeah, I want you to let me know if they look okay on me."

"Okay, I'll be right there."  Before I followed him, I stopped and picked
up a handsome looking pair of trunks, something I thought he would look
better in, if someone else were to come around, like possibly his brother
or mother.  I didn't want them to think I was making this kid run around
nearly naked whenever he was with me.  Now I walked over and caught up with
him, and I expected him to go into the dressing room alone, put on one of
the suits, and then open the door for me to see him in it.  However, that
wasn't what Jared had in mind.  After he went in the dressing room, he
turned and held the door open, and then he just stood there, looking at me.

"Aren't you coming in?" he asked.

"No, I thought I'd wait here, and then you could show me after you
changed."

"Come on, Dad.  Get in here.  I don't want everyone in the store to see me
in these."

"You won't, and I think this would be better."

"No, it won't.  If you're not coming in, then I won't try them on, and you
won't have to buy them for me."

"Jared, you know why I can't do that?"

"No, I don't.  You're my dad, and dads can do this with their sons.  So
come on, and get in here with me."  He looked very determined, yet kind of
sad, and I could see this was important to him.

"Okay, this time I'll do it, but don't expect me to start giving in to you
all the time."  His face lit up, and he stepped back a little, so I could
get by him.  As I entered, I also carried the pair of trunks in with me, so
he could try those on too.

"What are those for?" he wanted to know.

"I want you to try these on too, just in case.  Okay?'

"Why?  Don't you like these?" he asked, holding up the two speedos he held
in his hand.

"I like those just fine, except I think you might need another pair, just
in case other people are around."  He thought for a second, before
commenting.

"Okay, but only when other people are there.  When we're alone, I'll wear
one of these."  I nodded, granting him that little concession.

Immediately, Jared stripped completely, taking off every item of clothing
he had on.  "Do you really need to take everything off?" I asked him.

"Yeah, I want to see how it's going to look when I'm swimming.  I can't do
that, if I'm wearing my shirt or socks."  I didn't want to argue this point
further, so I just let him continue.  He did, however, seem to spend a lot
of extra time just standing naked in front of me, while he played with one
of those suits.  For some reason, I think he just liked me to see his sexy
boy body, and man, was it sexy.  I popped a rod almost instantly, seeing
him like that again, and I know he noticed this too, as he gave me that
sly, shit-eating grin of his.  I tried to pretend I was oblivious to him,
and I adjusted myself when he wasn't looking, so my erection wouldn't be so
noticeable.  However, that seemed to be a losing battle, as the sight of
him kept it throbbing and moving about, so I just sat there and enjoyed the
show.

He tried on the red speedo first, and then the blue one, asking me which
one I liked better, after I'd seen him in them both.  I told him they both
looked great, but he kept insisting on knowing which one I liked best, but
I wasn't sure why.  Finally I told him it didn't matter, seeing we were
going to buy both of them, and that's when I learned what he was thinking.
"No, we're not.  Not if you're buying me the trunks too."

"Jared, it's not that big of a deal.  I'm going to buy them all for you, so
don't worry about it.  Now try the trunks on.  I want to see how they look
on you too."

Jared stripped down again, but this time he did a little thing with his
hips, which made his dick bounce and flop around a bit, and his groin was
almost in front of my face at that point.  I knew he did that
intentionally, so I started to move away from him, and I threw the trunks
on the bench behind him.  That seemed to upset him, but when he turned
around to pick up the trunks, I smacked him on his bare butt, which caused
him to jump and let out a little yelp.

"Hey, what did you do that for?" he wanted to know.

"For being such a smart-ass, that's why," I informed him.  He just shot me
back a grin.

"What do you mean?" he countered, trying to sound innocent.

"Don't play dumb with me.  What was that little hip gyration all about?"
Now his grin broadened.

"I was only trying to make things more interesting for you."  Now he had
this coy look on his face, like he couldn't understand why that upset me.

"Well, I thought we had an understanding.  I thought you agreed to behave
yourself while we were together?"

"I am!"  Now he looked shocked that I had said that.

"By shaking your thing in front of me like that?"  I said, while pointing
at his dangling penis.

"Hey, it was only meant to be funny."

"And that's how I meant it, when I smacked your ass."  I gave him a 'what
do you think of that' look.

"But that hurt a little," he countered, but then he thought about it for a
second.  "Okay, I get your point, and I won't do it again.  Sorry, Dad."
He stuck out his lower lip a bit, to make himself look more remorseful.

"Apology accepted, son.  Just don't get the idea that I don't think you
have a very gorgeous body, because you do, but you know what happens when
you do things like that.  I don't want to be put in the situation where I
have to stop hanging around you, in order to be able to control my urges."
When he heard me say that, he began to look a little scared.

"No, don't do that.  I'll stop then.  I promise.  I don't want you to ever
leave me.  I'm sorry, and I won't do that again."  I could tell he was
serious, in fact almost panicked by the thought I might split, so I thought
maybe I should try to assuage his fears, just a little.

"Jared, you know how much I care about you, and you also know how much I am
attracted to you.  I love looking at you, all of you, but the thoughts I
get when I do that scare me.  It's not you, it's me, but I have to deal
with that and seeing you so sexy, it's just more than I can handle.  That's
why I need you to help me.  That's all.  Okay, kiddo?"

"Okay, and I'm sorry.  I really am."

"That's okay, now try the trunks on."

He did, and they looked adorable on him.  After he took them off, I rounded
all the items up, while he got back in his old clothes, and then we left
the dressing room.  He looked at me when we got outside, but only to check
and see what I was going to do next.  He was like a little puppy dog now,
and he followed me out of that area.  He still wasn't sure where I was
heading next, but he didn't ask any questions, and he merely shadowed my
every move.  Without saying a word to him, I went over to the sporting
goods area, to where they kept the bicycle supplies.  When he saw where we
were, he gave me another puzzled look.

"I'm going to get you a few things for your bike," I explained, "so I don't
have to worry so much about you when you ride back and forth after dark."
A small grin appeared on his face, as I began to look at the lights and
reflectors.  After a few minutes, I selected a group of items, placed them
with the things we already had in our basket, and then I looked at him.

"Anything else you can think of?"

"Not at all.  This is more than I need or ever expected."

At that point, we went back to the front of the store and checked out.  I
picked up the packages, handing Jared one to carry, and we left the store.
As we were walking to the car, I heard a familiar little voice say to me,
"Thanks, Dad.  You're awesome."

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Positive emails may be sent to ErastesTouch@aol.com