Date: Sat, 29 Oct 2005 06:47:53 GMT
From: Snwdemon <snwdemon@yahoo.com>
Subject: Playing the game -- Rodie's Story cont. -- Chapter 4

Chapter 4:    (M/b, b/b, M/F, as, no sex)

	WARNING: This story contains descriptions of sexual acts involving
MINOR boys.  I wish to explain that this story is not true!  Further, it is
not intended to promote illegal acts against minors, but to demonstrate
that young boys can love each other even when adults believe that they are
too young.  The sexual acts described in the story are the result of my
imagination.  I have not performed these acts, and I do not encourage
others to perform them with minors.  If the subject of boy/boy or
homosexual love between minors offends you, or this material is illegal to
possess in your place of residence, or if you are under the legal age to
possess such material, do not read further!

	By downloading this story: You implicitly declare and affirm under
penalties of perjury that you are not a minor or in the company of a minor
and are entitled to have access to material intended for mature,
responsible members of society capable of making decisions about the
content of documents they wish to read ."  The story is copyrighted under
my pseudonym, Snwdemon.  A copy has been placed in these archives for your
enjoyment.  The story cannot be used to derive monetary gain.  However, if
you want to place a copy of this story in your free access archives please
email me for my permission.  The story cannot be placed in archives that
require payment for access, or printed and distributed in any form that
requires payment either directly or indirectly.  Any similarity to
individuals, living, or dead, is partially accidental.  Reference is also
made in context to locations, businesses, characters, and people to define
the story line.  No other implication about the true sexuality or actions
of the people, or places mentioned is intended.

      Author's note: Hello again, for those who have been following the
posts for both my stories on Nifty, then you should also know where I have
been for the last few weeks.  For those who are not following my other
story "Who will catch my fall," then I will give a very brief rundown of
events to fill you in.  I, like most of us here in the US, was outraged
after we saw the ineptitude of the local, state, and federal response to
the victims affected by Hurricane Katrina, and then Rita.  I plan to show
my outrage in the next election because our politicians would rather try to
blame each other in partisan bickering instead of doing their jobs.  While
I am technically a democrat, (I consider myself a centrist being neither
republican nor democrat), the actions of both the Republican and Democratic
parties, has been a disgrace to what it means to be an American.  Since I
am quite wealthy today due to my investing my money wisely from my
settlement, I am still limited in what I can do physically.  However, my
disability did not stop me, or my brother, from going to Texas to try to
help some of the families in need.  One of my investments that I share with
my brother is a title company that manages our residential investment
properties.  We recently had one apartment complex in the Dallas/Ft. Worth
area that was currently unoccupied because it needed extensive renovations
and repairs, which were completed in June of this year.  We chose to invest
in this particular area because when my brother was first married, he and
his family lived in this particular building.  The previous owner was a
typical slumlord, so when my brother had the opportunity to purchase the
building, I gave him the money to do so.  He has been renovating the
building, and had been planning to offer the finished units to low income
families once the renovations were completed.  Now, instead of leasing the
empty units, we allowed 16 families from the Astrodome to move in rent and
utility-free until they are able to get back on their feet again.
Although, this rent-free period may be extended longer than the originally
planned 6 months due to the slow moving local, state, and federal agencies
response to provide the promised aid.  We have also given them the option
of staying after the rent-free period by basing the rental agreement upon
their income.  I also made available two additional properties here in
Maryland along with my beach home in Nags Head.  Now we have 3 generations
of one family with all twelve of them living in my beach home.  They have
family who live nearby in N.C., so my beach home is ideal for them.  The
two homes here, I made available to a Navy Chief whose entire family is
from New Orleans.  He has relocated his family up to here for now until
their homes can be rebuilt.  See, this disaster has affected all of us, and
being true to our moral values and beliefs as Americans, everyone dropped
everything to help our fellow Americans in need, in whatever way they
could.  Whether it was by donating money, time, food, clothing, or just
prayers, all of us in the USA pitched in to help our fellow Americans in
need.  So while the politicians point fingers at each other, let me just
say thank you to everyone who forgot about politics and helped those in
need.

      Now, I have some bad news for myself I want to share with you.  I was
informed by my partner Dan to return home last week, so I came home because
my son Simon needed me.  The results from his latest batch of blood work
came back with some bad news.  His cancer is not gone as we had hoped, but
while the tests came back showing elevated levels, it did not show that his
cancer had spread.  This means that he will have to undergo more
chemotherapy again in hopes of putting him back into remission.  This is
why Hodgkin's disease type of cancer is so hard to treat, but it is
beatable, and we will beat it.  Therefore, I had to come home, because I
promised to be with him when his chemo re-starts.  The good news is that
his chemo will not be as aggressive his first round of chemotherapy, but it
will still make him sick like before.  However, just the mention of chemo
to Simon is enough to make him cry, so I promised that I would always be
with him when he gets it.  His first treatment was on October 3rd, and it
is here in Washington, DC at Children's Hospital this time.  Now that means
I will have time to write and finish the stories and website.  I have to
age the characters another 2.5 yrs before the story really gets to the
point where the outlined sequel will conform and live up to its title.
Therefore, I plan to use the next two or three chapters to do just that.
So please continue to help the victims of the hurricanes and keep my son
Simon in your prayers.  God Bless all of you.  Damion




Playing the game: Rodie's story cont. -- Chapter 4: I would like to thank
Miguel Sanchez and BenBear for their proofing and editing work for this
story.


Rodie's birthday -- 2 weeks later -- March 15, 2000.


	Jim woke up in the early hours of the morning just as the first
rays of light began to brighten the hotel room.  He looked down at the mop
of dark brown hair lying across his chest while being careful not to
disturb Rodie as he slept.  He just lay there feeling Rodie's rhythmic
breathing and occasional twitches, movements, or muscle spasms.  His eyes
followed the delicate curves of Rodie's small, slender torso down to his
slim waist.  The only regret he had at that moment was that he could not
see Rodie's face as they both lay in their usual positions in the bed
before Rodie's injuries.  Jim felt Rodie's small hardness press into his
abdomen just above his left hip.  Thinking about that made his own member
come alive, and yet he was still surprised.  Rodie had not had an erection
since the night his father died.  However, this night was also their first
night together in the same bed since that fateful night almost a year ago.
Jim decided to not think about that night, and just enjoy the feelings of
closeness he was experiencing once again.

	Finally, after an hour passed while Jim dozed, he began to sense
Rodie beginning to wake up.  Now with their minds linked together, Jim
could not only sense, but also share in Rodie's dreams too.  However, this
dream was not a good one.  Rodie was beginning to relive the events of that
night again in his dream.  This caused Jim to pull himself from the dream
and gently embraced Rodie.  Rodie's breathing had quickened, and by reflex,
he tried to move to protect his himself from his father in his dream.  This
only caused him to stiffen and cry out softly as pain shot through his
neck, shoulders, and arms.  Jim reached up with his left hand, gently
steadying Rodie's head against his neck and shoulder, while hugging Rodie
close with his free arm and rolling him onto his back.  As he carefully
laid Rodie against the special support pillow they had brought with them,
he could see that Rodie's eyes were screwed shut as he gritted his teeth
against the pain.  Jim reached across Rodie, grabbed the small C-Collar
neck brace, and put it on him before adjusting the straps.  After 15
minutes, Rodie was able to open his eyes as Jim took the burden of his
pain, and slowly gave it back in small amounts until Rodie was accustomed
to it.

	"Are you all right now, my love?"  Jim asked him as he gently
brushed away the tears that had formed in Rodie's eyes.

	"Yeah, I think so Jim."  Rodie answered softly before sniffling.

	"Happy birthday Bright Eyes," Jim told him with a smile.  Rodie
managed to give him a weak smile before another muscle spasm in his neck
caused him to grimace again.

"You want you medication?"  Jim asked him with concern.

	"Ok, but kiss me first since it is my birthday."  Rodie answered
while inching his hand over and taking Jim's hand.  Jim leaned over and
tenderly kissed Rodie.  As he did this, he heard Rodie's thought to him in
his mind.

      "Thanks for remembering my birthday Jim.  It is easier to handle the
pain now since you got me this neck brace, but it's so hard to adjust when
I first wake up though...maybe I should sleep in it now."  Rodie told him
as Jim broke their kiss and looked at him.

      "I know it is hard to do right now, but it will get easier after a
little while.  As to sleeping in your C-collar, that is up to you.  If it
helps, then I would say yes; but if it uncomfortable to the point that you
cannot get to sleep, then no.  You know how much pain I am always in when I
wake up, and I have been dealing with it for years.  It will get better,
but it will take some time though.  Now let me get our medicine."  Jim
thought back to him before sitting up and reaching for their medication
bottles on the headboard.  He took out their doses, and picked up the cup
of water and a straw.  He handed the medicine to Rodie who, with visible
effort, brought it to his mouth.  Jim stopped him just as he was about to
put the first pill into his mouth.

      "I told you to always double check before taking the medicine."  Jim
said to him.  Rodie glanced down at the pill he was holding and saw that it
was pink colored instead of yellow.

      "Sorry Jim.  This one is yours `cause it's pink, so it's three times
stronger than mine is."  Rodie said to him silently, Jim nodded, and took
the pill from Rodie and replaced it with an identical pill that was pale
yellow in color.

      "Why is there a difference between them Jim?  If my pain medication
was stronger, wouldn't it work better and faster for me?"  Rodie asked him
aloud after taking the pill and swallowing it with water while Jim held the
glass so Rodie could drink through the straw.

      "Yes it would, but it would also cause your heart, kidneys, and lungs
to stop working too.  That is why the doctor has you on a lower dosage than
mine.  You also take more pills per day than I do, and the time between
each dose is much shorter.  When you add up the total amount of pain
medicine milligrams you take per day, and the amount of mine, you will see
that we are taking the exact same amount of medication.  Only yours is in
smaller amounts per dose so it will not affect your heart since you are
still a child.  However, as of today, you are now an 11-year old child.  I
did not have my heart stop as many times as yours did, and no matter how
advanced we are medically; there was some damage caused to your heart that
made it just a bit weaker.  So the doctors have to be very careful with the
medications you take so that it does not affect your heart in any way."
Jim explained to him.  Rodie thought this over for a few minutes before
looking at Jim again.

      "Do you think this doctor I am going to see today will help me?  Or
is he just going to say that there is nothing wrong with me like the
others?"  Rodie asked him seriously.  Jim understood what he meant, because
he had a very vocal discussion with the last Pediatric Orthopedic Surgeon
that was supposed to take over Rodie's care one week earlier.  When both
Jim and Cathy had disagreed with his theory that Rodie was experiencing
these phantom pains and difficulty moving in order to continue receiving
all of the attention he had been getting.  He then said that Rodie should
not be having these difficulties because he could not find any reason to
dispute Dr. Bach's findings.  Again, they had both disagreed with him and
practically begged him to re-test Rodie.  They did this because they knew
that Rodie did everything he could to avoid attracting attention to his
self.  They also knew that something was missed because Rodie was trying,
but his limbs were just not responding.  However, when they had disagreed
with him, he had become very arrogant to them, and then insulted Cathy by
implying Rodie was the result from an illegitimate birth.  Jim had moved so
lightning fast that scared Cathy half to death.  He had already pulled the
doctor out of his chair, across the desk, and had him dangling by his tie
before Cathy could say anything.  Once Cathy had calmed Jim enough to let
go of him, which is when Jim called him a quack and stormed out.

      After this argument, Jim had called his personal surgeon and had him
recommend a doctor for Rodie.  He was told that the best doctor for
pediatric spinal injuries was Dr. Epstein's Pediatric Neurology group.  Jim
recognized the name because Dr. Epstein had been in the news for years
about his breakthroughs in Spinal surgeries and neurological advances in
treatment for kids.  Jim had called and arraigned for Rodie to be seen by
one of the doctors in Dr. Epstein's group.  The day before, everyone had a
small birthday celebration for him with a small cake and ice cream, but
they only gave him a card like he requested.  He had asked them to wait
until after the doctor was finished before they had a party for him and
gave him any gifts.  Afterwards, Jim, Cathy, and Rodie had flown up from
Mikki's estate in Georgia.  Even though he did not realize it himself,
Mikki knew that the reason he had made this request concerning his birthday
was because Rodie did not believe he would be here long enough to celebrate
it if this doctor could not help him.  Without realizing it, Rodie had
arraigned things that left no doubt to Mikki about his unconscious plans.
Therefore, she knew that this was his last hope of recovering, and if it
failed, then even she could not stop him from doing the inevitable.

      "Yes, I think he will help you.  But it may mean that you will have
to have more surgeries though."  Jim said as he held Rodie's small hand.
Rodie was quiet for a few moments while he stared at the ceiling in the
room.  Finally, his eyes watered again and he asked Jim the one question he
had been avoiding.

      "Do you think I will ever be able to move normally again Jim?"  Rodie
asked in a soft, tearful voice.

      "I don't know my love.  It depends on how much damage was done to
your spinal cord that the docs missed.  Once we know that, then they can do
what is needed to fix it.  Then as you go through therapy, you will know
what things get better, and what does not get better.  You will also learn
how to compensate in order to accomplish the things you want to do.  I
think this doctor will help you because he is one of the best because he
was trained by Dr. Epstein who is the leading pediatric Neurosurgeon in the
world.  Most of the medical advancements in treating the brain and spine in
kids, has been discovered by Dr. Epstein.  I know that he will find the
problem and correct it, but I cannot promise you that he will fix things
like before your injury."  Jim told him honestly and Rodie managed a small
nod before sniffling as he continued to look at the ceiling.  Jim took a
tissue and gently wiped his eyes before having him blow his nose.  After a
few minutes, Rodie looked at Jim.

      "I have to pee Jim," he said with a small grin and teary eyes.

      "Me too," Jim answered before getting up and moving around the bed to
Rodie's side.  He sat down next to Rodie, and lifted Rodie's left arm and
placed it on his shoulder.  Next, he gently slid his arm under Rodie's
C-collar brace, and the other under his legs.

      "You ready my love?"  Jim asked him as Rodie stiffened before nodding
ever so slightly.  Jim gently lifted Rodie up and waited a moment before
standing up.  Once he got his balance, he carried Rodie into the large
bathroom.  He was about the sit Rodie on the seat next to the toilet when
Rodie told him not to.  Understanding Rodie's unspoken request, Jim gently
lowered Rodie until he was in a standing position.  While Jim held him
upright and steadied him, Rodie managed to pull down the front of his
bikini briefs and aim his small, semi-erect penis downward.  Once he was
finished, Jim helped him over to the seat in the large bathroom before
attending to his own need.  Rodie was trying to remove the C-collar while
his eyes shut tightly, and gritting his teeth.  He was interrupted by Jim
after a couple of minutes.

      "I think it would not be as painful for you after a nice shower with
some hot water."  He said and waited until Rodie gave another small nod for
an answer.  Then Jim lifted Rodie up just enough to slide his bikini briefs
down, then removing them once he sat Rodie back down.  Next, he had Rodie
lean against him while he changed his C-collar neck brace with a similar
one that was designed to be used in the bath.  Once he finished with Rodie,
Jim turned on the water and adjusted the temperature and spray before
removing his own clothes.  Finally, Jim sat down next to Rodie and once
again gently lifted him, only this time he positioned Rodie in his lap
facing him.  Jim then stood and stepped into the shower as he held Rodie
close with his hands on Rodie's small pert butt.  Rodie did his best to
wrap his legs around Jim's waist while holding on to Jim as best he could.
However, his thin legs dangled loosely for the most part, as Jim stepped
into the shower.  Once under the spray, and both of them had to wait a
moment until they became accustomed to the temperature, then Jim sat down
on the special seat designed to be used in the shower with Rodie in his
lap.  He kissed Rodie's head before he leaned him backwards a bit into the
spray.  Once Rodie's hair was wet completely, Jim sat Rodie upright and
steadied him until Rodie smiled at him.

      "Better now?"  Jim asked him.

      "Yeah, much better now," Rodie replied softly.  He unclasped his
hands and slowly moved them to Jim's shoulders while the effort of doing
this clearly showed on his face.

      "We will find out why a simple thing such as that requires so much
effort for you to do.  I know that it is frustrating and depressing to you
because everything is so hard to do right now.  However, you have to
believe me when I say that it will take time, and you will improve ok?"
Jim told him with a serious but compassionate expression.  Rodie's eyes
watered as he looked at Jim.

      "It's just that everything is so hard to do.  I can't do anything for
myself.  I even have to be fed like a baby cause I can't hold a fork long
enough to move it to my mouth.  I want to believe you when you say I will
get better, but it has been almost a year now and I'm not getting any
better."  Rodie said as his tears spilled down his face and mixed with the
shower spray.  As he began to hiccup between his soft sobs, Jim just held
him close with Rodie's head on his shoulder.

      "I know it is hard, and how disappointing each failure is to you.  I
went through the same thing after my accident.  I have been so worried that
you may not get any better, but when Mikki told me that something was
missed, and Mike agreed with her; then I knew that we have not found the
cause yet.  Mikki is a very gifted person, and I trust her with my life.
So you need to trust her the same way because she does know the truth."
Jim told him softly as he stroked Rodie's long wet hair.  Rodie responded
in thoughts instead of words.

      "I know Mikki is special, and I do trust her.  She is the only reason
I am still here with you."  Rodie confided to him with a sniffle as he
relaxed against Jim.  Jim understood what he had meant while recalling
Rodie's suicide attempt a month earlier.  Rodie had learned so much from
Mikki in the short time they had been together.  These last couple of weeks
had been his happiest since his father died.  Mikki understood him, because
she had already been through the exact same problems he was now
experiencing.  Most of all, she shared her vast amount of life experiences
and knowledge with him.  This knowledge allowed her to guide him through
these difficult times.  She had told Rodie that it was important to stay
with Jim during this trip because something was going to happen for the
good of both of them.  Rodie did not understand what she meant, but he
trusted her.  Now he was doing as she told him, which is why he was now
sitting in Jim's lap in the shower.  He had wanted to be with Jim for so
long, yet his feelings were not the same as before now that they were
together again.  Rodie could not explain it, but he did know that something
was different in both of them to cause this.

      "Alright, I am going to wash your hair now, and don't be afraid to
say something if I hurt you."  Jim told him as he grabbed the bottle of
shampoo.  He waited until Rodie said ok before applying a generous amount
on his hair and gently massaging it into a thick lather.  At one point
Rodie cried out when Jim hit a tangle, causing Rodie's head to jerk.  Jim
quickly stopped and then kissed away his tears before he finished rinsing
and conditioning Rodie's hair.

      "Guess what?"  Jim asked him while he steadied Rodie as he sat
upright.

      "What?"  Rodie asked him in response.

      "I do believe that you've added a good four inches of length to your
hair.  It is now down to your mid back again, and at this rate, it will
reach your butt again before you are 13."  Jim told him while showing Rodie
how long his hair had grown which elicited a big smile from Rodie.  Of all
the problems Rodie had, it was his hair being cut that had upset him the
most.  To Jim, Rodie was almost as upset about his hair being cut as if
Mike had cut off his arm or leg, although he did not blame Mike for cutting
his hair.  Sensing Jim's thoughts, Rodie's smile faded as he looked into
Jim's eyes.

      "You wouldn't understand Jim," he said quietly to him.

      "You are right, I won't understand.  Not until you explain it to me,
my love."  Jim replied with a serious tone of voice.  Rodie's brow creased
and Jim could see that Rodie was at war with himself about revealing his
secrets.  Jim had known that Rodie was no longer being totally honest with
him when they spoke.  This had started once Rodie had met Mikki, yet Jim
was at a loss to explain it.  Finally, Rodie opened his eyes and looked at
Jim before sending his thoughts to him.

      "I don't know where to begin really Jim.  Before daddy hurt me the
first time, everybody noticed me where ever I went.  Whenever I had my hair
braided up so that it looked like it was shortened to just my shoulders
only, then nobody really noticed or cared when I was around.  But, when I
had it down, then everybody noticed me, and some even cared about what was
going on with me.  Well, at least they acted like they were interested and
cared.  I know it's silly, but whenever people think about me, the thing
they remember me by is my hair.  You know that I didn't have any friends,
but at least some people would notice and listen to me because of my hair.
It was better than just being forgotten and alone."  Rodie said in a soft
voice with a dejected expression on his face.  Jim knew and understood what
he was trying to say, that he was so alone that any attention, no matter
how shallow or cruel it was, was better than none at all.

      "I know what you mean Rodie, and I know how painful loneliness can be
also.  I will never let you be that alone again my love.  No matter what
happens in the future, I will always be here for you.  Now you will always
have all of us to turn to when you are feeling lonely, although if you
really want to test your patience you should call Eddie."  Jim told him in
a slightly choked voice in between kisses on his nose, eyes, and forehead.
He said the last part with a slight grin while his face showed how much he
loved Eddie.

      "I know that now Jim, and I love all of you for it too.  But, I love
you more Jim, for bringing Mikki to me.  Mikki said that I was at a
crossroad, and I was the only one who could decide which path to take.  I
love you so much Jim, for so many reasons I can't even count, and I want to
be with you always.  But, what will I do about Mark?  I love him too, and
if I choose to be with him, then it means that mom and John can't be
together.  I don't want to hurt anyone, and I don't know what I should do?"
Rodie told him silently, and Jim saw fresh tears begin to form in Rodie's
already reddened eyes.

      "Come on now, my love, no more tears.  I figured that this was the
problem you had, and I have been thinking about it too.  I think I have
figured out a solution that will make everyone somewhat happy.  Nobody will
get their wish as they would like except you and Eric, but it will not hurt
anyone you love."  Jim thought back to him and Rodie's eyes widened a bit
more, and for the first time in months, a look of hope came onto his face.

      "Really?  So tell me, please?"  Rodie said in his mind and even
managing to put a realistic whine into the thought.

      "I can't Rodie, not until after we finish up with the docs here.  I
cannot be worried about you while also worrying that you allowed me to
impose my will on your decision.  So once we are finished with
Dr. Epstein's Group, then we will sit down and discuss it with everyone as
a family ok?"  Jim explained patiently to him as he scooped handfuls of
warm water onto his back, neck, and shoulders.

      "I guess so, but you have to promise me ok.  You also haven't
fulfilled your other promise to me either."  Rodie told him with a frown
then a smirk on his cute face.  Jim thought back for a moment before
remembering the promise he made to Rodie before leaving to get his own
surgery.

      "Well, I don't think that our discussion about Mr. Happy's height
would do any good right now.  Until this morning, I think he has been
asleep."  Jim said gently to him, and Rodie blushed for a moment then his
eyes watered again.

      "I...um...I think it's broken.  I have the same feelings inside, but
nothing happens outside now."  Rodie said softly as he looked at Jim while
his fresh tears spilled from his multi-colored eyes while blushing even
more.

      "I know Rodie, and it is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about
either.  That is controlled by nerves also.  Therefore, when you damaged
your spinal cord, it affects that as well as everything else.  That is why
I sometimes take medicine when we are alone together.  Now before you ask,
yes they do have medicine just for that...it's called Viagra and I think
you have heard of it.

      "Yeah, the old guy who ran for president does commercials for that
stuff.  That is what it's for?  I thought it was for something like a rash
that only old people get."  Rodie said with a giggle.

      "Oh, so now I'm old huh?"  Jim asked while giving Rodie a raised
eyebrow looking scowl.

      "No.  I didn't mean that you are old," he said quickly before getting
a mischievous grin on his face.  "Well, you are kinda old, now that I think
about it."

      "Really, I hadn't noticed, but then again, my mind was on something
else too."  Jim said with a silly grin before caressing the inside of
Rodie's left thigh and grabbing his small soft cocklet.  Rodie gave a soft
squeal while giggling.

      "See, I was right.  You are one of those dirty old men, aren't you?"
Rodie said with a big grin.  Jim gently ran his hands up Rodie's sides
until they were holding him just below his armpits.

      "That may be true, but it isn't nice to talk about it in public
though."  Jim said before pulling him closer and kissing him.  Rodie melted
in his arms as they kissed, but Jim knew that he could not allow them to
get distracted.  Therefore, he ended the kiss, and grabbed the washcloth
and soap.

      "Come on, let's get you cleaned up for the doctor."  Jim said to him
and Rodie just nodded slightly while looking a little crestfallen.  Jim
tenderly washed Rodie as he sat in his lap facing him.  While Rodie was
able to move, all movement he had was extremely difficult and without any
real strength.  He could move his arms and fingers, yet he could not make a
fist or grasp and hold something.  Therefore, with the strain showing on
his face, Rodie managed to steady himself enough for Jim to wash him.
However, he was still ticklish, and he giggled the whole time.  When Jim
was done rinsing him, he sat Rodie in the seat making sure that Rodie was
stationary as he leaned against the wall, and quickly showered himself.
Once finished, he wrapped Rodie in a large towel before carefully carrying
him into the room and sitting him down in the chair.  Jim was careful not
to hurt Rodie as he dried his hair, neck, and shoulders before getting him
dressed.  When he finished, Rodie looked at him for a moment before his
eyes began to water and he shifted his gaze downward away from Jim's eyes.

      "Thank you Jim," he said so softly that it was scarcely more than a
whisper.  Jim could see the look utter of helplessness on his face.  He
knew that Rodie was on the brink of giving up again, and that he needed to
give him something to hope for the in future.  However, the only thing he
had not given to Rodie yet was his self.  Therefore, he carefully knelt
down in front of Rodie.

      "You don't even realize how many people you have touched or how many
lives you have changed just by being here with us.  Most of all, how much
you have changed my life Rodie, and I need you here with me.  I cannot
promise that you will regain all that you have lost, but I do know that you
will get better.  So please, do not give up on me now, my love.  I have
nothing left to give you that will help ease your pain, or end your sorrow,
except myself so I will do that if you want.  So do not give up, because if
you do, then so will I."  Jim told him with his own tears in his eyes.  He
was playing his final card in this winner takes all game, and he hoped it
was enough to win.  Rodie looked back into Jim's face, and he knew that Jim
was offering him his body and soul.  He was silent for almost five minutes
while never looking away.

      "No Jim," Rodie finally said in a quivering voice as his tears
spilled down his face.  He had searched Jim's and his own souls before
speaking.  Now he refused Jim's offer, because Jim was not doing this
because he wanted to, but because he was trying to bribe him into not
giving up.

      "You don't have to give me that, and I don't want it.  I know you
love me with all of your heart, and I love you the same way.  But, you
would not have sex with me before because you didn't think it was the right
time, and it would hurt me.  I don't want you to agree now just because you
don't want me to give up.  I know that it is what I have wanted with us,
but I don't want it this way.  I only want to be with you because you want
to be with me, and you believe it is right for us.  So, I don't want that
from you, not like this, not now or ever, ok.  It is just so hard to have
to let everyone do everything for me, and it gets harder each day.  But I
won't give up as long as you are with me, ok?"  Rodie managed to splutter
out to Jim while feeling that he was passing up the one thing he had
desired and wished for since he met Jim.

      "Promise me then."  Jim said as he watched Rodie refuse what he
desired most.  This choice made Jim love him that much more because Rodie
was following his heart instead of his desire now.  Jim watched as Rodie
floundered and struggled now to do as he asked.  He knew how much a promise
meant to Rodie, and that Rodie would honor any promise he made.  That is
why he asked for his promise, and as he watched the boy he loved so much
struggle within to do as he asked.

      "Promise me, my love."  Jim repeated and not giving in while Rodie's
struggle tore at Jim's heart.  Finally, he saw Rodie give himself over to
his love for Jim and his struggles ceased.

      "I promise Jim, I won't give up as long as you don't." he said
softly, but there was no defeat in his voice either.  Jim kissed him and
brushed his tears away with his hands as he held Rodie's head.  He knew
what this promise had cost Rodie, and what it meant.

      "I promise also, my love.  I won't give up as long as you need me."
Jim replied as he knelt before Rodie and gently embraced him.  Then, with a
final kiss he said, "Come on, let's go find out what's causing these
problems."  Jim then rubbed his nose against Rodie's, which made him smile
as he always did.  Then he struggled back up to his feet and finished
dressing.  Once he was ready to go, he went over and picked up Rodie before
carrying him out of their room to go meet Cathy.  Once they met at her
room, she took Rodie from Jim.  Next, she kissed and rubbed noses with
Rodie, getting another big smile from him, before leaving for the hospital.



  ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



5 days later:


	Rodie had just finished breakfast when Dr. Goodman came in his room
with Jim.  Instead of coming over to his bed and reading his chart,
Dr. Goodman sat down in one of the chairs against the wall across from his
bed.  The nurse wheeled in a rectangular shaped box.  It resembled a
portable chalkboard he had seen in school before, but it lighted up when
she plugged it in, and Rodie realized it was for showing his x-rays.

	"Good morning Rodie, Ms. Leftwich, and Mr. Chavez.  I asked for
this meeting so we could go over the results of all the tests I requested.
I have some good and bad news for you Rodie.  However, I think the good
news will out weigh the bad this time.  Before we start though, how are you
feeling today young man, any better?"  He asked Rodie with a small but warm
smile.  Rodie's face had brightened up a bit when Dr. Goodman addressed him
as `young man'.

      "Yeah Dr. Goodman, but my head still hurts a little," Rodie answered
in his soft voice.  Rodie had liked him immediately when he first met him
five days ago.  Dr. Goodman put a couple of film shots on the light-box for
them to see.  On the left was a front view of Rodie's skull and neck that
clearly showed the four screws and two rods, and two plates in his neck.
The right picture showed the same except it was taken in a side view.

	"As you can see here, this is the x-ray of the cutest boy in New
England," he said with a grin while winking at Rodie.  Rodie blushed while
also beaming at the compliment before Dr. Goodman continued.  "Now then,
your spine was fused at the C-3/C-4 and C-4/C-5 levels to repair the
fracture of the C-4 vertebrae.  While Dr. Bach did a good job of
stabilizing your spine, his use of rods instead of Teflon bands is one part
of problem that is causing your disabilities now.  They are limiting your
head and neck movement, which would be fine for the Thoracic and Lumbar
portions of your spine.  The CT, and MRI scans came back inconclusive, but
they are still not 100% accurate.  The detail that I need to identify the
exact cause of your problems cannot be provided by these scans.  So, I had
you undergo a Topography, and Myleogram also."  Dr. Goodman told them all,
but he looked directly to Rodie though.  He had Rodie admitted on the same
day he first saw him, and had done the Myleogram the next day.  The
Myleogram was the worst of all the tests because Rodie had to remain
immobile for two days afterwards while his body replaced the spinal fluid
that had been removed.  It had also given him a severe headache, and made
him dizzy when he sat up.  Dr. Goodman took the films down and replaced
them with two different ones from the Topography scan.

      "I know the Topography scan was a long one, but it gave me a much
more detailed look of the spinal injury that you had.  It gives me a
detailed horizontal view of your neck millimeter by millimeter.  In these
images here, I can see a couple of irregular shapes that are protruding
from the bone at the C-4 level.  These protrusions are what I believe was
missed when Dr. Bach repaired the fracture of your C-4 vertebrae.  They are
very tiny splinters of bone called bone spurs, and I believe are what's
causing your continued partial paralysis.  This is because you had a
compression fracture, which means that the bone was compressed until it
broke."  He said, he then opened a spiral bound book with laminated
pictures and pointed to a series of them that visualized his explanation.
"As you can see, the bone splinters inward and outward when it is
compressed, just as your fracture did.  The bone splinters are of different
size, so some could be missed easily during surgery, and I believe that
these splinters are also responsible for much of the constant pain you
have.  That is why I ordered the Myleogram afterwards to determine the
extent of the damage."  He explained while pointing to the last film scan
that showed the small splinters of bone in Rodie's spinal cord.  While this
news confirmed all of their suspicions, it made Rodie's eyes tear up
because he believed that this only confirmed that he would not get any
better.  Dr. Goodman saw this and had already figured that this would be
Rodie's reaction so he quickly continued.

	"Now that is the bad news Rodie, so why don't I tell you the good
news now," He said while he paused for a moment, before smiling as he saw
first a look of relief, and then hope come onto Rodie's small face as Jim
and Cathy each held one of his hands.  Dr. Goodman replaced the current
films with two new ones before speaking.  "Now then, as you can see here,
the bone fragments are not pressing into the spinal cord very deep.  See
the spinal cord and nerves are all just like an electrical wire.  It has
the conduction material in the center, and it is protected by a protective
insulation coating called myelin.  These bone spurs are stuck in the
myelin, and just like a wire when the rubber insulation is cut open, it
causes the wire to short out.  However, in this view you can see that their
positions have changed when Rodie's neck position was changed.  It tells me
that as the spinal cord moves that the spurs do not, thus causing the
damage and irritation to the spinal cord.  In my interview with you Rodie
after the tests were done, you said that you were able to move more and
much easier before the halo brace was removed.  These results now confirm
that, and it is why you are having so much pain and trouble moving now.
Because of the spurs movement, they are constantly irritating the center of
the spinal cord causing the electrical impulses from the brain to get lost,
like a wire shorting out.  They also have not allowed your spinal cord to
heal completely while the constant irritation causes the pain you are
experiencing.

      As all of you know, Dr. Epstein no longer performs surgeries due to
his age.  However, he has agreed to assist me in your surgery because he
has performed this same corrective surgery for this type injury quite a few
times.  Therefore, he will assist me so nothing is missed, and so there
will not be any mistakes this time.  It does not mean that it will be easy,
for you or me, Rodie.  However, I am sure that once these spurs of bone are
removed, and your spinal cord begins heals, that you will recover much more
strength while reducing the pain you now have."  He explained to all of
them, but he continued to look directly at Rodie.

      "Wha...what does this mean about me mm...moving my aa...arms and
legs?"  Rodie asked him with a nervous stutter while he braced himself for
the answer confirming his fears that he would not improve much more.
Dr. Goodman got up, sat down next to him on the bed, and took hold of his
small hand.

	"Well I doubt that you will win any medals in the future, or be as
graceful as others when you run, but you will run, and you should be able
to do almost everything any other 11-yr old does."  He answered totally
serious now, and he watched as his answer stunned Rodie.  Rodie tried to
speak, but while his mouth moved, nothing came out while his emotions
shifted rapidly between complete gratitude, disbelief, and joyful
hopefulness.

      "Really?"  Rodie managed to squeak after a long moment of silence.

      "Yes really, although the surgery will not be easy for you, and you
will be in another halo brace for the next 3 months, but you will be able
to move again without all of the pain."  Dr. Goodman said seriously, as he
held one of Rodie's hands.  He watched as Rodie's bottom lip started
quivering while tears of gratitude, happiness, and hope began to stream
down his face.  Rodie tried to speak again to thank him, but he could not
make a sound, so he broke the rule to keep his talents hidden from the
doctors and staff here.

      "Thank you," Rodie said silently to him as his tears slipped down his
face.  Dr. Goodman first looked surprised when he heard Rodie's voice in
his mind.  However, his surprise was quickly replaced with a look of wonder
and respect, before he smiled and gently hugged Rodie.  "I know that
Dr. Wise told me that you were a very special little boy, but he didn't
tell me just how special.  Now don't cry, because this is supposed to be a
happy moment for you.  You still have a tough road ahead of you, but you
made it this far.  The surgery will be hard for you because I will have to
wake you up in the middle of the surgery in order to make sure that I've
corrected the problems.  So it will be very frightening and somewhat
painful for you, but once you are through the surgery, the rest of your
recovery will be much easier.  Now you get plenty of rest, and try not to
worry so much because your surgery is scheduled for the day after tomorrow.
I also want you to wear the C-collar brace, all the time, until your
surgery.  This should help a little with the pain, and stop the spurs
movement against the spinal cord.  If any of you have any questions just
let the nurse know, and she will inform me."  He said before gently
brushing Rodie's stubborn lock of hair aside and kissing him on the
forehead.

	After Cathy and Jim had thanked him and asked their own questions
about the surgery, Dr. Goodman left to make his rounds.  It still took
Rodie another 30 minutes before he cried himself to sleep.  This time
though, it was not the troubled sleep he usually had, but the peaceful
sleep that he desperately needed.  When he woke again, it was well past
dinnertime but still light outside, and Jim was sleeping in the chair
beside him.  He looked for his mother, but did not see her.  When he
reached out for her, he found her in the cafeteria talking on the phone to
John.  He did not disturb either of them, but closed his eyes, took a few
deep breaths, and concentrated as he reached out across the farthest
distance he ever had attempted with his mind.  He found Mikki in her room
reading, and she immediately recognized his thought and drew him into her
embrace.  He had amazed her with his abilities, and even she did not know
his limitations except what his own mind put on them.  This was why he was
able to reach across the 1,500-mile distance that separated them both.  Now
he could share everything with her, with very little effort on his part to
accomplish this feat.

	"So they have found the truth, and now you can stop punishing
yourself so much, my littlest one."  She told him while filling him with
her love and warmth as she shared in his happiness.  She had tried to ease
his fears, but he could not bring himself to believe what she told him
while every doctor, and even his own body, told him different.  However,
this was not the only reason he was reaching out to her now, it was because
he needed her to do something.  While he was relieved that he would get
better, he was also aware of the many risks involved with the surgery that
the doctor had explained to them.  To an adult, they would have some
reservations about the surgery, but reason and logic would prevail about
the benefits outweighing the risks of the surgery.  That logic would
reassure them and quiet their fears.  However, Rodie was not an adult, and
had only been eleven for a week now.  Also, his only experiences that he
had about surgery and hospitals had all been traumatic ones, so he was
terrified at the moment.  Logic could not reassure him, or quiet his fears
because they were a child's fears.  Therefore, only the love and compassion
from those closest to him could calm his fears and reassure him.

	"Do not worry my dear littlest one, I will be there, now ask Jim to
join us please."  She told him.  Rodie knew what she meant, and he sent a
thought to Jim that woke him as well as one to his mother.  It took Jim a
moment to gather his wits about him before he was alert, then Rodie
included him in the circle.  A few minutes later, Cathy came into the room
and sat down beside him before he included her also.  He looked at her,
then at Jim, with a timid expression on his face, before Mikki spoke to
them.  Both Jim and his mother had become used to these surprises as he
tested his abilities, so they were not that surprised when Mikki spoke to
them as if she was there with them.

	"Hello my dearest one," she said to Jim, and for a very brief
moment, Rodie felt a pang of envy and jealousy as he felt the boundless
bond between Mikki and Jim.  He had come to think of Mikki as his only, and
felt possessive of her.  So he felt a bit jealous and envious of the bond
Jim had with her.  However, as soon as he felt this, he banished it because
he knew that it was only because Jim decided to share Mikki with him that
he was able to share his life with her, while she guided him.  So the
momentary pang of envy and jealousy was immediately replaced with his love
and respect for both Jim and Mikki.

	"Very good my littlest one, this shows us all that you are growing
up.  However, you are still only 11, so I shouldn't have expected you to
not have a bit of childish selfishness."  Mikki said to him, which caused
Rodie to blush a deep crimson filled with shame.  Cathy and Jim both hugged
and told him it was all right although it did no good.  He had been
reprimanded by Mikki, who was not just his teacher and guide, but also his
mentor and to him, the grandmother that he has never had.  His tears of
shame welled up in his eyes while his face burned with shame.

      "Now stop that, I did not mean it like that.  I do not expect you to
behave like my dearest one, since you are just barely 11.  I can see that I
still have to teach you to not take everything so personally too.  Anyway,
it makes an old girl like me feel good to have a young man like you feeling
possessive about her."  Mikki told him, repairing his bruised self-esteem.
"I am sorry if I upset you, and you know that you will always be my
littlest one no matter what happens.  You have made me proud of you, and
continue to do so every day.  Also, in many respects, you are much better
behaved that my dearest one was, so there is still hope for you."  Mikki
said, making him laugh while he felt her mirth, and only then did he felt
better.

      "Ok Mikki, I will try to do better," he said to her while they all
felt his desire to please and obtain her approval of him.

      "Now, let us get down to business.  I need you to reserve four hotel
suites for all of us, dearest one, and you, my daughter, would you please
book several reservations for us on the first flight to there for
tomorrow."  Mikki said to them.

      Cathy and Jim both replied in unison, "yes little mother."  This
struck Rodie as extremely funny causing him to break out into giggles,
which also broke his concentration for a moment.  He lost the link with her
for a moment, but quickly re-established it while continuing to giggle.
Knowing he could not move to escape, both Jim and Cathy began tickling his
sides.  This caused Rodie to squeal with laughter for a few moments until
they stopped.  They stopped tickling him after a few moments because they
knew how easy he tired.  Once he had calmed down a bit, he spoke to Mikki
again.

      "No fair!  They ganged up on me."  Rodie protested to her, but all he
could sense was her mirth.  Becoming serious once more, he glanced around
quickly before continuing.  "So you and the others will come, Mikki?"
Rodie asked while filling the thought with his need, desire, and fear.

      "We will all be there, my littlest one, to make you strong for the
surgery.  We will be there tomorrow before lunch, now why don't you go get
something to eat, and then rest."  She told him gently causing his eyes to
fill once more.  Rodie let his gratitude flow out of him, knowing that he
could never thank any of them enough, for everything they had done for him.
He needed them all so he could take a small bit of strength from each of
them, and this would make him strong enough to overcome the cost to him
from the surgery.

      "Ok Mikki, I will rest.  I love you, and miss you."  He said
honestly, while his eyes watered once again.  Everyone always addressed
Mikki as "little mother," except Rodie and Eric.  They just called her
Mikki, even though they both thought of her as a surrogate
mother/grandmother.  Mikki had explained it to Jim and Cathy about a week
after they arrived at her estate.  She said that Rodie and Eric could not
call her "little mother" because they felt it would disrespect their real
mothers.  When John told Eric to address her as little mother, Eric flat
out refused, while Rodie sat beside him agreeing as Eric hugged him.

      "Well I can understand that, because in the minds of a 10 and 11-yr
old, it would be disrespectful."  Jim said while trying to put himself in
their shoes.

      "So Rodie believes that by him calling you `little mother' that he
would be offending me?"  Cathy said to her and Jim.  Mikki just nodded but
told her to let it be because she knew how much Cathy meant to Rodie, and
what the memory of his mother meant to Eric.  Since that day, Cathy and
Mikki had grown close just like a mother and daughter.

      "I love you too, my littlest one.  Now you rest, and I will see you
tomorrow."  She said to him, then she told Jim and Cathy goodbye while
letting them feel the love she had for them all.  Rodie sniffled after a
moment once Mikki's presence had left, it always made him feel sad once he
felt her leave.  He looked first at his mother, then to Jim.

      "I know, I feel empty too when she leaves," Jim told him.  Rodie just
nodded slightly before sniffling again.  Jim drew him into his embrace
while Cathy took hold of his hand.  Rodie just leaned against Jim while he
got lost in his thoughts about the future.  However, for the first time in
a year, he was actually looking forward to tomorrow.


End Chapter Four.

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