Date: Sun, 28 Nov 2004 20:30:55 -0800
From: Kevin Harness <kevroc54321@tns.net>
Subject: Save The Boy, Chapt 5

Once again, all the usual disclaimers hold true.  If you are under 18 or
think that you might be, you are not supposed to be reading this story per
most of the laws and statutes that I'm aware of.  Also, your local laws and
/ or statutes may not let you read this kind of a story at all:  that of
boylove, which is to say that even though all the actors playing these
parts are over 18, there might be a character in the story who is below the
age of 18 and who has sex.   Yeah, I know.  But oh well.  Read on.

===============================================================================
Chapter 5

Jeremy was brushing his teeth after a shower, looking at himself in the
mirror.

He was admiring his new hairdo, looking at it from the right and left,
trying to get an idea of how it looked and what it looked like to others.
That was always puzzling.  He knew that blonde hair was considered hot and
sexy, but he was frankly pretty used to having blonde hair so it wasn't all
that big of a deal to him.  Yeah, sure, he knew he had nice features and
nice eyes, but again he wasn't altogether sure that half of what he'd heard
across his short life wasn't verbage to just get his pants down.

He sighed.

It was a sad state of affairs, he thought, when you couldn't get a valid
viewpoint that wasn't based on the other person's self-interest or gain.
Pretty screwed, actually.

He could only shake his head.

And WHAT in the hell did he think he was doing?  He'd been ready to suck a
guy's dick to make $50 so he could survive a few more days.  And what then,
when that ran out and he needed more money and there was no part-time job
or relative or handout in sight?

He sighed more deeply.

It wasn't like he was adverse to a blow job, either direction.  He wasn't.
It was just the whole idea of it all.  He could see himself degenerating
into a street trick kid.  Visualizations of his being taken only for money
- every day, all day long and by all sorts of people, possibly even being
beaten - filled his head.

And he was 17, not too far from being 18.  What then?  How long could he be
a boy looking mid-teens so as to attract older guys with lots of money to
have illicit sex?  Where did he go from there?  Pimping for some other
younger boys who didn't know what to do or where to go yet?  It reminded
him of about half a dozen gay movies he'd seen depicting gay street kids
making money on sex, none of which had a happy ending.

He could barely rinse his mouth out, his very energy seemed sapped from his
body.

He wiped his mouth off and walked out from the bathroom and flopped onto
the couch, thinking.

Where was he going to go?

He looked around, in disbelief that he was even somewhere at all after the
events of two days ago.  His mind ran over the various scenes in sort of a
strobe-light fast-forward sequence.  He thought of the night he was on the
brick wall in the rain.  It was one of the few times in his life that
anyone had saved him from anything at all.  That was a bit unsettling at
the very least.  What the hell did that mean?

Still, he believed he could see the writing on the wall.

Sure, Donny cared that he was out in the rain, hell, who in their right
mind wouldn't, right?  Yeah, he'd gone the extra mile to ensure that Jeremy
hadn't just walked off and been in the elements any longer, but....

And the gesture Donny made with his arm toward the street of cars and
people who'd not rescued him or come to his aid or asked if he was ok, it
all froze in his mind....

Then he recalled what Donny said when he tried to say that nothing mattered
anymore.  He'd probably not heard any truer words spoken in any movie or by
any other adult in his life.

It was that look in Donny's eyes that didn't wash away, couldn't get
explained off as this or that.  It was as though Donny had peered into
Jeremy's heart or soul, and seen what had gone on, and was not willing to
see it go any further or get any worse.  He made it pretty plain that night
that he wasn't going to give up until Jeremy came out of the rain, no
matter what.

All the more reason, Jeremy thought.

He had to leave.

Donny was a nice guy, maybe one of the few Jeremy had ever met in his life.

Yup.  All the more reason, Jeremy thought.  He couldn't just stick around
and let his life flop around onto Donny's plate.  It just wasn't fair, and
he didn't have to let it happen that way.

He could go.

The phone rang and Jeremy jumped, clearly startled by the intrusion of
sound into his otherwise quiet surrounds.  He didn't know who it was, and
so didn't pick up the phone.  It went to recorder, and Jeremy listened to
Donny's intro, and the beep....

"Hello?  Jeremy?  It's Donny.  If you're around, pick up the phone.  If
not, ok, well I guess I'll talk to ya later if........"

"Hello?  Donny, it's Jeremy.  I'm here."

"Hi, just checking up and seeing how the block-party was going," Donny
joked.

Jeremy yawned audibly, "Well, the invitations aren't back from the printer
yet.  We may have to postpone until later."

Donny didn't respond, but listened to see if Jeremy was going to say
anything else.

"Uh, yeah.  Well, I'm ok I guess," Jeremy said.  "I'm just trying to get my
bearings on what to do next and stuff.  Um, hey.  Do you mind picking up
another blanket from WalMart or whatever?  Is that ok?"

Donny was both happy and dejected at the same time.

"Sure, no problem, I'll get it on the way home from work," he responded.

"I'll try to keep this whole staying-with-ya thing short and not crash in
on your life for too much longer than I've already done, Donny.  Thanks for
everything so far, really, I really appreciate it.  But.....well," he
paused, "we've both got stuff we need to do I think.  So I'll try to make
it short."

Donny smiled to himself a bit, admiring the kid's humble manner.

"Ok, I understand.  No worries at this point.  I'm willing to help and all,
so don't sweat it or let it stress you or whatever.  If it gets to any
critical mass point, I'm sure we can both figure that out pretty quickly.
Sound ok?" Donny asked.

"Yeah, ok.  Sure."

"Cool."

There was a bit of silence in which the uttered words settled, and made
their way to their appropriate mental storage spots for further inspection.

"Ok, now for a fairly important question," Donny sounded all serious.

"Oh.  Ok.  What?" Jeremy asked.

"Do you like fish and chips?  I was thinking of going to the Fish Grotto
out by the bay, they have pretty good fish and chips.  I'd just come home
and shower and then head out.  Unless you have other plans or whatever..."

"Oh no, no plans.  But Donny, uh, you don't have to..." he started.

"Yeah, I know, but I don't think my feeble mentality could stand it if I
came home to a cooked meal two nights in a row," he joked.

Jeremy laughed, disarmed once again by Donny's ability to comically state
the obvious.

"Sure, that'd be fine."

"Okay, c'ya later," Donny said.

"Okay, thanks," Jeremy said.

Jeremy hung up and shook his head.  Half of him wanted to stay and be with
Donny, hang around him and hear his laugh, and well........ be part of his
life.  And the other half of him knew he should not drag Donny down, give
him a plateful of problems and complicate both of their lives.  So far, his
reluctance in confronting the first choice led him to choosing the second
one.  He wasn't altogether sure of his reasoning, but he already seemed to
be headed down path #2.

======================

Donny hung up the phone and proceeded with his day, systematically getting
his work done, although a bit absently.

He knew better than to just "get involved" with someone because the sex was
good or because the boy was cute.  That was typically a one-way ticket to
heartache, because no matter how much you wanted it to be more, it (again,
typically) wasn't.  And if you tried to make it so, the rubber band
eventually was stretched to its breaking point, or it snapped back.  Either
way was painful.

He sighed.  Boy, life just wasn't fair.

In a perfect world, he should be able to keep this young boy around, give
him a fresh start, and if things worked out ok between them, if there was
an actual mutual desire, admiration, and compassion for each other, then
the guy would stay.  If not, he would stay for a bit, get on his feet, and
get on with his life.  No harm done, no love lost, each party knowing
they'd done the right thing.

Only Donny wasn't sure what the right thing was.

He was a damned good judge of character, and could almost see a a person's
aura or magnetic field or goodness or whatever you wanted to call it, in
his mind.  Only it wasn't a visual, it was a feeling.  And that was
sometimes the problem, because feelings can get confused with other ones,
sometimes.

But he knew what he saw in the boy's eyes, felt in his voice, heard in his
mind.

It's just that the beatings that life had given him made him shy away from
a relationship or any seriousness until it practically hit him over the
head.

He just wasn't wired to go from guy to guy every few nights, just so he
could have sex.  It wasn't like that for him.  Yeah, he was a boylover,
alright.  He thought boys were cuter than hell from a very early age
onward, but that didn't mean sex or that he wanted to go fondle or sink the
salami in every boy he saw who was cute.  It just wasn't that way.

======================

Jeremy slept on the couch that night, and although both Donny and Jeremy
were alright with that arrangement, they both felt funny about it at the
same time.

It was kind of obvious, but neither said much about it.

Jeremy had tried once more to repair the situation with his aunt, but that
went nowhere.  She had no faintest measure of care that Jerermy even was
alive, alright, or whatever.

It looked like a ma-and-pa grocery store had decided to give Jeremy a job
as a bag and stock boy, and he'd been talking with a friend of his about
getting a one-room motel or hotel room to get themselves going.  His friend
had been street tricking, and Jeremy had talked him into getting a job at a
local theater.  Less money, but far fewer black eyes and other abuses.
Donny had met him once; "Desi" was his nickname, apprently.  Anyway, nice
looking boy, probably a year younger than Jeremy, dreamy brown eyes and
nice spikey hair.  With the little theater shirt they gave him to wear, he
was quite a looker.

He was a boy who liked picking up older tricks because they paid more money
for the younger boys, especially if they did whatever the men wanted.  It
was just that about every 3rd trick he got the crap beaten out of him, one
way or another.

Donny had been out a couple nights with some of his buds, shooting a game
of pool here and there, basically doing his usual run of socializing.  No
big deal either way, just sorta a normal operating basis.

Only, it wasn't, for either of them.  Somehow, it all didn't seem fair,
like two gears not entirely meshed together correctly....

He was back at his apartment, letting the evening slow down and going
through his mail.

"DONNY!" shrieked Jeremy as he burst into the apartment, the front door
slamming into the wall hard enough to bounce back nearly shut.

Donny heart went from a sedate 70 beats a minutes to probably somewhere in
the hummingbird range in less than half a second.  He couldn't get any
words out fast enough, and as it was Jeremy beat him to it anyway.

"You GOT to come quick," and Jeremy began to sob, "PLEASE help me.  Please
let's GO" .....and his sobs overcame him as he reached Donny's arm and
gripped it with both hands.

"WHAT?!  What's happened!?" Donny nearly yelled, mortified.

"It's Desi, he's ......." and he tried to talk, but could only pull on
Donny's arm.  And he weakened suddenly and almost sank to the floor.  Donny
quickly grabbed him, and could see that no matter what, speed was of the
essence.

"Let's go.  Show me," he said, and Jeremy nodded and headed back out the
door, out of breath from an apparent run from somewhere.

They leaped into Donny's car, and Jeremy directed Donny about a mile away
to an alley behind one of the local gay bars.

And there was Desi.  Laying on the ground.  Crumpled.  Bleeding.

Jeremy was out of the car before it stopped, vaulting to his friend's side
and kneeling beside him.

It was obvious what had happened, it had happened too many times before,
just never this badly.

"Desi, it's me, Jeremy.  I'm back.  Wake up," and he lifted his friend's
head up off the pavement.  He was breathing, but Donny couldn't tell how
well.  He immediately flipped his cell phone on and dialed 911, giving the
despatcher the best directions and explanation he could.  They asked him to
keep the phone open, and he said sure, but he sat the phone down as soon as
he could and came to Jeremy's and Desi's side.

He looked over at Jeremy who's face was streaked with tears, and then back
at Desi.

"Desi," Donny tried, "open your eyes, kid.  I'm Donny, a friend of
Jeremy's.  We're both here for you.  Try to open your eyes."

Desi's eyes fluttered slightly, opened, then shut.

Jeremy burst out crying, and yelled, "Fuck Desi, don't do this, don't do
this!"

Donny bent closer, and said, "Hey Desi.  Open your eyes.  It's important."

His eyes opened, focusing on nothing at first, then seeing first Donny and
then Jeremy.

"Jeremy...." he said weakly, "I'm........" cough "sorry, I......." and his
eyes rolled around once like he was in excruciating pain.

"What, Desi, tell me," Jeremy said.

With great effort, Desi shoved a hand into his front jeans pocket and
pulled out a wad of money and handed it toward Jeremy.

"...ours," he managed, "our apartment.........." and he coughed several
times, eyes rolling and face grimacing.

"Desi, you didn't....." Jeremy began, but Desi stopped him.

He smiled slightly, "...well..." and he shrugged his shoulders slightly.
"Sorry, I love you Jeremy, I....." and his eyes widened and he made a heavy
muted, yet gutteral sound as his body arched up off the ground, and he
collapsed back flat, eyes focusing into the air several feet above his
body.

All the air went out of him audibly, and he ceased to move for a moment.
And then he continued breathing, but was unconscious.

Jeremy took the bills from his hand, knowing what they were from, why Desi
gave them to him, and that it was no good to argue.

Jeremy stood up and in a fit of rage yelled "FUCK!" as loudly as he could
and threw the wad of bills like a baseball, except they instantly fluttered
to everywhere in the alley.

"FUCK!  SON OF A BITCH!  DESI!" and he sank to his knees once again, facing
away from his friend, amidst the many bills that now littered the ground.

Jeremy, now silent, gathered he and his friend's cash off the alley
pavement, stowing the bills away just as a police car screamed down the
alley from one direction, and an ambulance from the other.

Donny was checking Desi's breathing and pulse as the paramedics unloaded
from the ambulance.

Jeremy wanted to go with the paramedics, but the police were asking what
happened, and I didn't know if Jeremy knew what had occurred or not, and I
convinced Jeremy to answer their questions and then we'd go to the
hospital, which was only about a mile away.

As it turned out, Jeremy hadn't heard from his friend for a day, which was
unusual, so he had gone down this alley looking to see if Desi was hanging
here.  It was the wrong time of the day for him to be hanging here, it was
barely sundown.  Tricks were better turned later in the night.

>From the best that everyone could determine, Desi'd been missing or gone
since the previous night.

They made it to the hospital and let the ER nurse know who they were and
why they were there, and it wasn't long before they got word that Desi had
not revived yet.  Jeremy visited him for a few moments, until the ER nurses
and made him leave.  He met Donny out in the waiting room.

Jeremy came out and gave Donny a huge hug.

"Thanks, Donny.  I'm ok now.  Well, I guess for the moment.  Do you mind if
we stay?"

"As long as you like," Donny said.

Desi was moved from the to a special observation room for patients in
critical condition.  He had more wires strung up to him than an astronaut.

Jeremy and Donny talked for most of the night, the sun coming up in the
morning to both of them snoozing in chairs outside of Desi's room.

"I know life's not fair and all that shit, but Donny this one really
sucks," Jeremy had said, "he loves me, like you know, for real.  We'd
talked about it and stuff.  He knew I just wasn't into it, but we were best
friends anyway.  We just sorta overlooked the fact that he loved me and
wanted me forever."

"Only I don't think he can totally overlook it," Donny observed.  "He's got
a nice job now and is making steady money, and he still went out to make
the big money so you guys could have a place sooner.  My take on it, that
is.  I don't know what all that means, but that's how it kinda looks to
me."

"Yeah," Jeremy had said.  He'd come to the same conclusion and dead-end
that Donny had.

"So you don't love him?  He's a beautiful guy, and seems to be....I dunno.
He had a good heart.  And, he's your friend, which also speaks highly of
him," Donny ventured.

"He's my best friend, but it's just not that way with me.  I don't love him
like that.  I'm not sure what love is supposed to be or when it passes over
from 'like someone a lot' to love, but I never felt the desire to have sex
with him or be with him like that.  It wasn't that kind of attraction.
I..." and Jeremy's voice trailed off like he had something else to say, but
hadn't.

"Ok.  Got it," Donny responded, patting Jeremy on the arm.

He wondered if perhaps there'd been someone else in Jeremy's life who'd
filled that spot that kept Desi out, but it didn't seem like the right time
to ask.  And he wasn't sure how to ask, anyway, or even if he'd be right in
asking the question.

Then they'd fallen off to sleep.

Donny called in to work and explained that even though it was Friday, he
was not trying to just fake an ailment to get a three-day weekend.  He
briefly went over the events of the previous evening and what he'd gone
through.  They gave him the day off, no problem.

It was time for breakfast.

Donny tossed his car keys to Jeremy, "You have a license?"

"Yeah.  Where we going?" Jeremy asked.

"Dunno," Donny smiled as he got up, "you're driving."

Jeremy shook his head and smiled, and got up too.

He peeked his head into Desi's room, watching his chest rise and fall,
hearing the sound of the oxygen flowing as Desi breathed.  He said he'd be
right back.  He knew Desi could hear him if only on some subconscious
level.  He'd know if he woke up that Jeremy would be back.

Donny smiled, and cocked his head a little in acknowledgement.

Some boys were beautiful.

Some boys were smart.

Some boys had heart, and rarely, some boys had a sixth sense about life was
without having to live 50 years to figure it out.

Even more rarely, by his observation, a very few had all those qualities.