Date: Wed, 5 Apr 2000 18:00:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: bardiel13@yahoo.com
Subject: steven and the turners 11

This story contains descriptions of sexual acts between young men.
Although the characters are young teenagers, It doesn't mean the author
endorses or approves sexual liaisons between underage teens or young
men. The following story is just a fantasy. None of this stories are
based on any fact known to the author. If you are not of legal age to
read this, you should leave now. If you do not like stories about
homosexual sex and relationships, you should leave now. If you are of
legal age and like this kind of stories, then keep reading and feel free
to send feedback. bardiel13@yahoo.com.

Important: The story doesn't take place in the US, so don't be surprised
by different seasons and such. The story is copyright 2000 by "Bardiel".
If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the email address:
bardiel13@yahoo.com. Keep in mind this is my first attempt.

Foreword:

Chapter 11: Ambivalence.

The first two day's with Jay were hell. I've never seen anyone so bitter
and angry. I had thought he was a little too friendly sometimes, but
there wasn't anything friendly about his demeanor. Thank God his brother
Chris was studying with us, because I'm sure things would have gotten
worse. If Jay was that mad when his brother was there, I sure didn't want
to be left alone with him.

Was he mad because he had to study now that school was over? He couldn't
be that mad because of that. And why did I sense that the hostility was
only directed towards me? It wasn't like he was openly cursing my
existence, but it sure felt that way. He didn't even say a word beyond
yes, no, and when he answered my questions, he looked like he wanted to
bite my head off. He never raised his voice, but he made me feel guilty.
But why? What have I ever done to him? Every time we saw each other, it
wasn't for more than a couple of minutes and we never talked much.Why was
he so mad? I could only hope that it was just a passing thing, but it was
becoming more difficult to handle every day.

The next day I had classes with Mike in the morning, and Jay and his
brother in the afternoon. Summer was almost upon us, and the heat was
barely tolerable. I've never liked hot weather a whole lot. In winter,
you just put on a sweater or something and you are all right, but you
can't start taking off your clothes whenever it's hot. I sat in my bed,
facing the fan, wishing I had an air conditioner. I was waiting for Sean
to call me. He had called me the day before and promised to do it every
night. I realized then that I missed him. He had been gone for only two
days and I already couldn't stand it. We had been apart for a couple of
days before, and we never got together before the weekend, but I needed
him there. Maybe he could tell me what was going on with Jay.

I sat patiently by the phone, knowing that he would be calling around
nine. He had to wait until they were in the "spot", like I like to call
it. The "spot" is the main street of St. Clem's, it's where the action
happens. It can't be called anything else than that, since it's only
three blocks by one. In that little part of town, you have more than four
arcades, clothing stores, one of the three dance clubs and a couple of
snack bars. It is small, but I love it.

St. Clemens is a small town by the sea. It was only a dessert fifty years
ago, but someone had the idea of planting pine trees and it quickly
became a forest. The place is quite exclusive, and that is just another
one of the attractions I see in it. It is a quite place, very different
from busy Buenos Aires. It's just this nice forest with houses here and
there. The best place to go if you want to relax. If you want to do
anything at all, then you go to the "spot", the only point in town were
you can feel more like in the city. If you want to go to the cinema, then
you have to go to another place, closer to the beach. The best thing is
that they show the best movies of the season, rotating them every day.

I wondered if Sean had been going dancing. Most kids start going dancing
when they are his age, but only until midnight, leaving the rest of the
night for people over eighteen. It made me a little jealous to think of
other people drooling over my boyfriend, but I knew there was nothing to
be worried about.

The phone finally rang.

"Hi, stranger!"

"Hi, Sean! I'm so happy to hear your voice."

"Hey, I've only been gone for two days, don't make it more difficult than
it is. I miss you, too."

"Look, I don't want you to waste your money making long distance calls.
If you are going to call from a pay phone, then call collect, all right?"

"Sure you don't mind?"

"Of course I don't, anything for you, babe!"

"Oh, I'm YOUR babe? I thought you were mine!"

"I'm yours, too."

"I can't wait to see you again"

"Me too, but we'll have to wait for another couple of weeks."

"Ok, I'll call you tomorrow night and we can talk some more. Everything
OK?"

"Everything's fine. I love you"

"I love you more, talk to you tomorrow."

I felt a lot better after talking to Sean, but how was I going to make it
if I missed him so much already? I went to bed as late as I could, but I
had to wake up early and go to Mike's house.

"Sweet dreams, Sean. I'll see you soon"

I was standing in a big white room, no windows, no doors. Sean was in
front of me, but he wasn't looking at me. I called his name, but got no
answer, no reaction. I tried to move closer to him, but he just stayed
away from me. I started screaming, but he never turned to look at me.
Then, he started to walk towards me, but instead of stopping in front of
me, he went right through me. Suddenly, he was gone. I was alone.

I woke up, scared out of my mind, I was soaked in my own sweat. Another
dream, what the hell did it mean? Why do I keep having this strange
dreams about Sean? What do they mean? Should I be worried? "No, stop!
Don't over analyze it. Just let it go. Sometimes a dream is just a dream.
Let it go."

I took a long, cold shower. I let it wash away my worries. Water always
seemed to have that effect on me. I put on a shirt and was about to put
on some shorts, but I couldn't show up at Sean's with shorts, even if his
parents weren't at home. I finished dressing just in time, and left for
the bus stop. Fifteen minutes later, I was there. Mike opened the door
when I was about to ring the bell. He was wearing just a short, far too
small for him. He was standing in front of me, displaying his nice,
hairless chest. For a moment, I won't lie, I just stared at him, but I
stopped.

"Hi, Mike. Are you planning to get dressed?"

"No, not really. Too hot for anything else."

"I know what you mean. I'm almost melting!" I panted.

"Come inside and have a glass of water. We can start after cooling down."

I followed Mike to the kitchen, taking the chance to look at him from
behind.

"Yep, definitively too small, and he's not even wearing socks." I thought
to myself.

"I thought we might work in my room, you know, relax a little."

"Mike, we barely do anything in the studio, do you honestly believe that
your room will be a better place to study?"

"I promise! I'll work harder than ever!"

"I guess I'll have to trust you"

"Great, lets go upstairs, then."

He hurried to his room, and by the time I got there he was sitting on his
bed. I sat on a chair by his desk, but he insisted that I sit down on the
bed with him. I wasn't going to sit on his bed next to him, so I declined
the invitation. I took out some exercises for him to do and handed them
to him. Normally, in the two hours we are supposed to be studying, he
never makes it past the first page. He just keeps talking about any
trivial thing that comes to mind, but today he finished everything in a
little over 45 minutes.

"You must be really inspired today!"

"I'm just sick of this heat. I wanted to finish early, and maybe have
some fun" he had a strange grin.

"What did you have in mind?"

"Nothing really." He rolled off his bed and landed at my feet. He looked
at me, still grinning from ear to ear, and then he pressed his hand on my
crotch. I jumped.

"What are you doing!"

"It's ok, I know you are gay. I'm gay too!"

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

He grabbed me by the back of my head and kissed me on the lips. I pushed
him away the second he did it.

"Calm down, I know about you and Sean, and since he's not here, I thought
we might have some fun!"

"What are you talking about?!" Caught? He knows! He knows! How did he
find out?

"Don't play dumb, I know you've been fucking Sean, it's ok, I'm cool with
it."

"I don't know what you are talking about!" I was scared, I felt sick and
about to faint. He couldn't know.

"Jay told me, I know you two have been fucking for some time, you don't
have to hide it, I'm really ok with it"

"How?" the word came out before I could think about it. I was stunned.

"He's known for some time. He told me the other day, when Sean was
staying at your house."

"I... I..."

"Calm down, you look like you're going to have a stroke!" he laughed.

"This is not funny! You can't tell anyone, please, you've got to promise
me that!"

"I'm not going to tell anyone, as long as you don't tell anyone about me
and Jay!"

"You and Jay? You are together?"

"No, just fooling around, but I guess it's over now."

I sat on the chair again, facing away from him. I was out of my mind, too
much information. Too much going on. What? How? How?

"You need to relax, your secret's safe with me. Why don't we go
downstairs and have a drink, and maybe later we can fool around?"

"Fool around? FOOL AROUND?!" I snapped. "Do you think I'm going to have
sex with you? You're sick!"

"Hey, don't get mad, it doesn't have to be now. Take your time"

"Who the hell do you think you are? I'm not going to do anything with
you, not now, NOT EVER!"

"Why not? You've been fucking my brother!"

"Fucking your brother? I haven't been FUCKING your brother! We are a
couple, we are in love and you must be seriously screwed up!"

"You are in love with my brother?" he was laughing again. "Why?"

"I guess it must be a difficult concept to grasp for someone like you,
but we are in love, he's my boyfriend, and nothing is going to happen
between you and me!"

"Why not? It's just sex"

"Just sex?? Are you even listening to me? I'm in love with Sean, and he's
in love with me. We have been together for more than two months. He is my
boyfriend, Why would I screw up our relationship by having sex with you?"

"I thought you liked me. I've seen the way you look at me, I wasn't sure
at first, but I am now. What does Sean have to do with us?"

"OH GOD, you're so thick! There is no us, as in you and me. I'm with
Sean, and nothing can change that. I could never betray his trust, I love
him more than life itself. We have a relationship, we are not just having
sex, I'm not FUCKING him, I'm not just with him to fool around, I love
him, don't you get it?"

"No"

"You are such a jerk, what's so difficult to understand?"

"I don't understand why you won't have sex with me"

"Is that all you can think about, sex? It's not about sex. It never was,
and it never will be just sex. Yes, we have sex, but it's not why I won't
have sex with you. It's because I love him. It's because I know he loves
me back. We have something going on, something so great, that I'm not
willing to ruin it. He makes me happy beyond words, he's everything I
think about, he's the reason I wake up in the morning. Can't you
understand that? I love him, he's everything I have ever wanted. If you
had asked me to have sex with you six months ago, I would have been all
over you. I would have had the wildest sex with you, but only because I
had no one in my life. I won't lie to you, I was about to tell you I had
feelings for you, but I also had feelings for Sean. I had decided that
because of the age difference, I had more chances with you, but Sean came
to me first, and I love him now, and that's all that matters." I was
breathing hard when I finished, but I had to get through to him. Why? I
still don't know.

Silence.

"I have no one in my life" he whispered, and started sobbing.

"So? You thought you could have sex with me just because I'm gay, too and
available? I'm sorry, things not always work like that. If what you want
is a quick fuck, go to a gay bar and pick some other desperate guy, but
you're not getting anything from me."

"I'm sorry" he said.

"I don't care if you're sorry. I'm too mad to care for you. You spend a
lot of time talking about your brother's insignificance and your own
greatness, but let me tell one thing, your brother is ten times greater
than you in every way."

"I'm sorry" he said again

"Deal with it. Whatever respect or friendship I felt for you is no longer
there. I never thought you could be such a selfish idiot. You better
learn that the world doesn't revolve around you, and do it fast. You are
up for a lot more of this if you don't change."

"I don't know what happened to me" he was still looking at the floor.

"Do you remember that they at the cinema? What were you going to say when
Jay showed up?"

"I was going to tell you that I loved you"

"Did you love me? Or did you want to FUCK?"

"No, I had feelings for you. Honestly"

"What happened then? Why are you doing this?"

"I don't know"

"I'm too mad to keep this up. I'll just ask you one question. What
exactly has been going on between you and Jay"

"We've been..."

"Don't even say it. Did you force him?"

"No, of course not. He came on to me. I swear it!" he sounded truthful, I
guess that's why I believed him.

"Then why is he so mad? Why is he so mad at me?"

"We were... "

"Spare me the details"

"I called your name when I came" he said it softly and fast.

"My name? You called MY NAME when you were having sex? That's horrible,
how could you?"

"I don't know what came over me. I tried to apologize, but he told me to
leave, and we haven't talked since then"

"I can' blame him. I used to think you were my friend. Right now, it's
hard to even look at you. You've insulted ME, you've insulted SEAN and
God knows how Jay must be feeling. I'll have to talk to him soon."

"I'm sorry" he uttered.

"So you keep saying. I'm leaving now, and I'm not coming back until you
are ready to show me you are willing to change. I'm not saying we'll be
friends again, but I'll be around. Good luck with your test."

"One more thing" I said standing ready to leave. "I don't care what you
tell your parents about our classes, tell them whatever you want, but if
you breath a word of this to Sean, you'll regret it all your life. I'm
mad enough to do something crazy, and I mean it. If you just look at him
the wrong way, and I WILL find out, you will suffer."

I left his house feeling the horrible need to kill something. Maybe not
really kill, but I surely needed something to punch, and lay all my anger
upon.

I took a second cold shower, and went straight for my bed. I needed to do
a lot of thinking. I couldn't care less about Mike. I was worried about
Jay. He knew about us. He was dangerous. If he was half as mad as I was,
then he was just waiting for the chance to strike. I had to talk to him
in a few hours.

The other thing that bothered me was my relationship with Sean. I meant
every word I said when I told Mike about our relationship. But was it
that powerful? Was the feeling enough? Did we have such a great thing
going on? Did I love Sean as much as I thought? I realized that I had
been taking our relationship for granted. There was still a lot of work
to be done if I wanted everything to be so right. But the important thing
was just that. I wanted to work on it. I wanted more out of it. We had to
grow. Until then, we had just taken it as it came. But if there was going
to be a future, then we should start thinking about it.

Hours passed, but I felt things were going to be all right for us. That
is, depending on the outcome of my little chat with Jay. I learned the
hard way that when it seems that it can't get any worse, it often does.
But I had to hope for a happy ending. I deserved my happy ending.

I couldn't confront Jay in his house, in front of his brother. I though
about it for a long time. I decided to call him first.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Chris, is Jay home?"

"Yes, wait a sec." said the 12 year old.

"What do you want?" this wasn't going to be easy.

"Look, something's come up, I have to stay at home. I'm the only one here
and I'm supposed to wait for a certain call. If it's not too much
trouble, I was thinking that you could come here instead."

"Why don't we just forget about it?"

"Jay, do I have to talk to your mom and tell her to bring you here?"

"Ok, all right, We'll be there"

"That's the other thing. Chris doesn't need to come. Just tell him to
study for tomorrow."

"Then it's going to be just the two of us?"

"Unless you're planning to bring a friend..."

"Good. I'll be there."

He hung up the phone right after that. I could tell he was happy about
being alone with me. Well, not happy, but I was sure he had been looking
for that chance. I got dressed again and had a glass of water. I had to
keep it cool. I was afraid of the outcome and I didn't want to snap at
him like I did to Mike. Why did he tell Mike? Why? When did he find out?
Was it the night that he was supposed to be staying with him? The night
that he had called Sean only to be told that he was supposed to be with
him? God, what was he thinking? Why was he mad at me? Less than fifteen
minutes later, the bell rang. I opened the door, and by the look on Jay's
face, I knew that there was trouble ahead.

"Hi, come in!"

He came inside without saying a word. I didn't know were to start, afraid
of screwing up, so I just went right to the point.

"So you know about me and Sean, right?"

"Well, I see you've been talking to Mike. Have you two been having fun?"

"Not exactly, lets just say that Mike is the biggest jerk in the world"

"You've got that right!"

"So, why don't you tell me how you found out?"

"I bet you'd like to know that!"

"Jay, just tell me how you found out"

"I was on the stairs when Sean asked you if he could come here. I didn't
know why he came, but after looking at you two after that, I knew that
something was going on. Then, when he told his parents he was staying at
my place and he never came, I just put two and two together."

"Do you have a problem with it?"

"No, why should I?"

"Then why are you so mad at me?"

"I just don't like you"

"Look, I know what Mike did and I know what he said, but that's got
nothing to do with me"

"It has everything to do with you!"

"Jay, Mike... Mike was just confused. I don't know what else to say:"

"The only thing I'd like to hear from you is that you are dying."

That was something I wasn't expecting. There was more to this than I had
thought.

"How bad do you hate me?"

"I don't hate you."

"You don't? That's a little hard to believe coming from someone who
wishes me dead!"

"You just don't know!"

"Why don't you tell me?"

"I don't want to tell you!" he was getting angrier.

"What have I ever done to you? We barely know each other!"

"You just showed up!"

"I still don't get it. What have I done to you? Why are you so mad at
me?"

"I don't want to talk about it!"

He aimed for the door, but I stopped him before he could leave.

"You're not leaving until you tell me!"

He pushed me hard against the wall and grabbed me by my shirt.

"I hate you! I HATE YOU! YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE!"

"Why? Because of Mike? I had nothing to do with it. I'm with Sean,
there's nothing going on with Mike."

"You... YOU... I HATE YOU... You've got Sean, you've got Mike..."

"How many times do I have to tell you? There's nothing going on with
Mike!"

"BUT YOU'VE GOT SEAN! YOU'VE GOT SEAN!" he pushed me harder against the
wall, I just couldn't understand why.

"I'm with Sean, so what? What have I done to you?"

"I WANT SEAN!"

I was speechless. He was in love with Sean. How could he not hate me? I
was out of words.

"You are in love with him?"

"NO!"

"What do you mean, NO?"

"You just don't care. You.. You"

"But I do care. He is my boyfriend" that word seemed to make him snap. He
tried to hit me, but I dodged his punch.

"You coward!" he said.

"You want to hit me? You want to hit me because his my boyfriend?"

"SHUT UP! You don't deserve him! You took him away from me! You took Mike
away from me! YOU'VE RUINED MY LIFE!"

"I haven't. I never knew. Why would I want to hurt you?"

"Don't be nice to me. Don't try to act all friendly and superior. I know
what you are. You just want to FUCK with them"

That word again. That fucking word. I don't know why, but I totally lost
it. I pushed him away from me with all my strength and he landed on his
ass on the floor.

"I'M NOT FUCKING SEAN, and I don't even want to be in the same room with
Mike. If you have a problem with me, then deal with it. Sean is MY
boyfriend. MY BOYFRIEND! If you want to hit me, then go ahead!"

And he did. He moved so fast, his anger pushing him further, his
frustration giving him more strength. He punched me right in the face,
missing my nose by less than an inch. The pain was great, but the shock
was even greater. Jay was again on the floor, mumbling some words I could
not hear. I was against the wall again, resting my weight against it. I
rubbed my face, and the pain was still there. He had hit me. That's the
only thing I could think about. I was in total shock. The only things I
could think about was the punch and the fact that Jay loved Sean. I don't
know for how long I was standing there, rubbing my cheek, unable to
rationalize what had happened. I must have looked stupid. I couldn't
believe he had hit me. I felt a lot of things. I was angry, helpless,
confused, sad, but I also felt guilty. I came down from my daze when I
heard Jay crying.

"Why... doesn't anybody... love me?" he said between sobs. I thought
about returning the punch, but I couldn't. "Nobody. cares... about me" I
could only stand there, watching the poor boy as he cried. He broke my
heart into a million pieces. I felt so sorry for him. He was just a boy.
He was the same age as Sean, but he was so different. Sean was a very
independent, confident young man. Jay was a helpless, scared boy. I felt
so sorry for him, and for what he must have been feeling. I knelt down
beside him and I put my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry" I told him, but he didn't seem to notice. He kept on crying
for a while and I just kept my hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry I hit you. I'm so sorry" he mumbled.

"It's all right, I asked for it. I just never expected you to be so
strong" he was still looking at the floor and he also kept sobbing.
"Jay... I care about you" he looked up for a second and before I could
tell what was happening, he was hugging me, his head on my shoulder,
crying his heart out.

"Nobody cares about me!" he cried.

"I care about you. I'd like to be your friend."

"Why? I just hit you and I told you I wanted you to die..."

"Do you want me to die?"

"No" he said softly.

"Will you let me be your friend?"

"I ... I need a friend" The crying was over, but he was still sobbing and
breathing hard. I held him for the longest time. I stood up and I offered
him my hand to get up.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" he just nodded. "Have a sit, I'll be back
in a second"

"Don't leave me alone" you could barely hear him talk.

"I'm just going over here to make some tea. I'm not going anywhere"

He kept quiet while I made us some tea.

"Jay, why would you say that nobody loves you?" he kept silent. "Are you
really in love with Sean?" I didn't really want to ask him, but I had to
know.

"Yes.. no, I don't know" he drank some tea and contemplated the hot
infusion as if he was waiting for a reply. "I thought I did, but I'm not
sure any more."

I got up from the table and opened the freezer to get some ice. I could
feel the swelling and the pain was no picnic either.

"I'm sorry" he said while he watched me wrapping the ice in a napkin and
pressing it on my left cheek.

"Don't be. I had it coming" I sat down beside him again. "I hope you
understand that I'm in love with Sean and that he's in love with me. I'm
not telling you this to hurt you, but I won't let anyone stand between
us"

"I understand. I had no right to tell you that. I had a crush on Sean,
and I thought that I could split you two up. I'm sorry, I never gave it a
lot of thought. I was just being selfish."

"Can I ask you another thing?"

"I guess"

"Do you love Mike?"

"I don't know. I thought I liked him, but I'm not sure any more. I'm not
sure about anything any more"

We talked for a long time about a lot of things. I realized that Jay was
very confused. He told me about Mike and how he had seduced him. He told
me a lot of things about himself. In the end, I knew he just needed a
friend. And I could be his friend. It was getting late, almost time for
dinner.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked him, knowing full well the answer.

"No"

"Would you like to stay here?"

"May I?"

"Only if your parents think it's ok. Why don't you call them?"

"They are not at home. They are visiting some friends and they aren't
coming back until Friday. My big brother is in charge. I should tell him"
he was still looking very sad and tired.

"Great, why don't you call him while I make your bed. Do you mind
sleeping on the couch? It's very comfortable."

"That'll do. Thanks"

After he called home we sat together on the couch. I offered him
something to eat, but he told me he wasn't hungry. I wasn't hungry
myself, so we settled for watching TV. He was very quiet and I thought he
was asleep when the phone rang. It was Sean, calling collect like he
promised.

"Hi"

"Just "Hi"?"

"Hi, gorgeous! Is that better?"

"Maybe."

"I hope you are enjoying the sea. I can barely stand it here. It's so
hot"

"I am. I've been doing a lot of swimming"

"I miss you, Sean. I miss you a lot."

"I miss you, too. I don't know how long I can stand it. Maybe I should
ask my parents if I can come back, and then come back here with Mike."

"I don't think they are going to like that. We'll just have to wait."

"I know. Just a little wishful thinking. We are going to have a lot of
fun when you come!"

"I'm sure we will. Sean, do you love me?"

"Why do you ask? You know I love you more than anything."

"I just wanted to hear it. I love you Sean. I don't think there is a word
to tell you just how much I do."

"I love you more!"

"No, I love you more!"

"Ok, I believe you. You sound really tired, had a rough day?"

"You bet. It was probably the weirdest day of my life!"

"What happened?"

"Nothing really important" I wasn't going to talk about it on the phone.
"I'll tell you later"

"Ok, I have to go now. Johnny and Martin are waiting for me, I'll call
you tomorrow"

"I love you!"

"I love you more!" he said before he hung up.

"You really love him, don't you?" Jay asked, looking at me from the
couch.

"I thought you were asleep"

"Do you really love him?"

"Yes"

Silence.

"Does it scare you?"

"A lot"