Date: Wed, 19 Apr 2000 17:02:54 -0700 (PDT) From: bardiel13@yahoo.com Subject: steven and the turners 13 This story contains descriptions of sexual acts between young men. Although the characters are young teenagers, It doesn't mean the author endorses or approves sexual liaisons between underage teens or young men. The following story is just a fantasy. None of this stories are based on any fact known to the author. If you are not of legal age to read this, you should leave now. If you do not like stories about homosexual sex and relationships, you should leave now. If you are of legal age and like this kind of stories, then keep reading and feel free to send feedback. bardiel13@yahoo.com. Important: The story doesn't take place in the US, so don't be surprised by different seasons and such. The story is copyright 2000 by "Bardiel". If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the email address: bardiel13@yahoo.com. Keep in mind this is my first attempt. Foreword: Thanks to everybody for their mails. I've been working harder on this story and the chapters seem to be getting longer. A lot of people have asked about Martin and I've been thinking a lot about him, too. Martin will be featured in upcoming chapters but I've been thinking about writing a new series for him, what do you think? As usual, your comments are more than welcome. "There's no one more courageous than the one who gives the first kiss" Chapter 13: A friend and a blessing. American beauty was showing that night. I didn't know much about the movie, except for the Golden Globe nominations. I had barley had time to eat before having to leave in a rush. Andrew asked about my sudden need to go out, so I told him I had to meet the girl from the night before. I hated to lie to him, because I knew he could see right through me, but what else could I do? I was feeling a little anxious about my meeting with Mike. I wanted to believe that everything was going to turn out fine, but there was still a part of me that didn't quite trust him. What could make a person change like that? Was I too hard on him? He was just as friendly as he had always been, even after I totally belittled him. How could he forgive me so easily? "GIVE ME YOUR WALLET!" "Yeah, very funny, Mike. I heard you coming a mile away!" "You've got good ear!" "Two, as a matter of fact!" I said. "Mike, I think we both know why we are here, so let's get right to the point" "Yeah, I know." "You suddenly seem to be alright about my relationship with your brother. What happened? The last time we saw each other, we didn't exactly have a friendly conversation..." "I'm sorry, but.." "Don't start apologizing. There's a lot I need to say, so just let me say it. Mike, I know you had feelings for me, I don't know exactly how you felt, but people don't just change their minds so quickly. I mean, what happened, why are you so friendly all of a sudden?" "Did you expect me to beat you up? To tell my parents? I'm not mad at you. I deserved every word you said. I had feelings for you, that's true, but I never had the chance to do anything about it. I thought I wanted to fall in love, to be with someone, but since that night with Jay, I completely lost my mind. All I could think about was sex. I was having the time of my life. Sex every time I wanted. But I got carried away. I never stopped to think about anything else. I never even thought about Jay, my only concern was to have sex. What I did to Jay is inexcusable, but we've talked about it. I'm really sorry about the position I've put you in. I never even thought about you or what you wanted, I assumed that since we were both gay it was the perfect excuse to have sex. I'm sorry, you've given me a lot to think about and I've been doing it everyday since that day. I don't know how to apologize to you." I kept looking at him while he talked, understanding most of it, but there was still something that really bothered me. "I understand, believe me, but... you called my name while having sex with Jay. How am I supposed to believe you are over it after something like that?" "I don't know what to say. I'm not sure I can explain that, not even to myself. I guess I was thinking about you a little too much, but I'm over it now. I really am. I've apologized to Jay a million times already, I don't feel about you that way now." "Since when?" "I don't know exactly when. Maybe since I talked to Jay, maybe since we had that argument, maybe since I realized how bad my brother was feeling. I don't know." "Sean told me you've been hanging out together." "I thought about a lot of things. I tried to figure out why you would choose Sean over me, why you loved him so much and that's when I realized that I didn't know a thing about my brother. Not a clue. I realized that I had been living with a person for almost all my life and I knew nothing about him. I never took the time to find out anything at all. I felt terrible. How could I be so..." "Idiotic? Stupid?" "I guess I deserve that" "No, I'm sorry. I was just teasing you. I know how you feel. The only words I exchange with my brother are "Hi" and "Bye". I wish I had done things differently. Would you mind if we go for a walk? I'm supposed to meet your brother here, he would freak out if you saw him" "Aren't you going to tell him that I know?" "Not yet. I'd rather tell him when you get back. I don't know what he's going to do about the whole thing" "What thing?" "Well, let me see. His brother had feelings for his boyfriend, but right now he's in some kind of relationship with his best friend, who is also gay and used to have feelings for him. How does that sound?" "Awful, actually" "I still have to give it a lot of thought." "He's missed you a lot, you know. I could tell he wasn't feeling very well, a little home sick it seemed, but I knew better" "Are you really ok with it? About me dating your brother?" "You know what? Before I had feelings for you, I really admired you, and I still do. I'm glad he's got you for a boyfriend. I think he's hit the jackpot." "I feel the same way about him" "So you are my brother's boyfriend. That sounds good. I guess that makes you my brother in law." "I don't think I'm ready to be calling you brother" "Take your time, bro." "You are going to keep saying that no matter what I do, are you?" "If I feel like it" he said matter of factly. Silence. "Tell me about you and Jay. What's up between you two?" "We've talked a lot." "About? Are you two going out or something?" "Or something. Neither of us wanted to be an item, you know" "Do you love him?" "Sort of. I don't know if I really love him, but I care about him" "I don' know Jay that well, but we've been around each other a lot lately, and I know he is in desperate need of affection, I hope you know that" "I know, that's why I want to take it slowly. I don't want him to get hurt" "Have you talked to each other lately?" "I've called him a few times" he admitted. "Do you miss him?" "I guess" Silence again. "I have to ask you a big favor. Sean's birthday is coming, and I won't be here, but I'd like to give him something before I go. Could you find out what he wants? I'd like to give him something special" "I can do that. Would you mind if I asked you something?" "Go ahead" "How did you two get together?" "Well, it was his doing. He came to my house one day, saying he needed to talk about one girl, and asked me to teach him how to dance. I have to admit that I wouldn't have had the courage to do what he did. If he hadn't tried to kiss me, I know I would never have done anything about it. I admire him for that" "Wow. I guess there's still a lot I don't know about him. Did you ever think that this could happen?" "I never imagined that something like this could happen. I still think that this is too good to be true. I love Sean, and everything's great, but sometimes it's a little scary" "What do you mean?" "Mike, my BOYFRIEND is 14 years old and I'm 19. It's bad enough to know that people would be disgusted to find out that I have a boyfriend, but a 14 year old one? That's jail we are talking about! Do you have any idea how that makes me feel? I never expected to fall in love with someone his age, and even then I never expected that anything could happen, but it has happened and I love him deeply. I don't know what I'd do without him. Do you see what I mean?" "I'm with a fourteen year old too" "Yes, but if you two get caught, you would be sent into therapy or something like that. I would be sent to jail." "And why does that bother you?" "It didn't bother me at first, but after some time, after I was certain that I love him, my fears started showing up. And that's one of them." "I still don't see the problem, as long as no one finds out, there's nothing to worry about." "I know, but suddenly the risk is greater than anything else." "You don't have to worry about it, no one is going to find out" "I know, but it is just so big." I couldn't explain my thoughts exactly, for I didn't know were that was coming from... yet. "You know what? It's the first time I talk about my relationship with Sean with someone else. I never realized how much I needed that." "I'm here for you every time you need me. That's what friends are for, right?" and he looked at me, clearly wanting confirmation. "Of course. I'll be there for you whenever you need me. Friends?" He extended his hand but I quickly pulled him closer into a hug. It felt great to know that I had a friend I could talk about everything for the first time in my life. Someone who knew I was gay, that I had a boyfriend and knowing there was nothing that I needed to keep secret from him. Suddenly, everything else seemed unimportant. I felt free, as if the proverbial weight had suddenly been lifted. "I should probably get going. Sean will be arriving early as usual." "Before you go, I have a message for you. My mother told me to invite you for coffee after lunch tomorrow. She wants to talk to you about something." "About what?" "She wouldn't tell me. You'll have to ask her yourself." "Ok, tell her I'll be there around 2" "Great. Now go back to my brother, your boyfriend, and have fun, bro!" "Ok, take care of yourself" I told him showing my discomfort with the use of that last word. "Bye!" I walked back to the cinema thinking about everything we had talked about. I found myself feeling quite content. In the end, everything turned out great. I saw Sean standing by the bench I was sitting when Mike arrived. He was looking absolutely gorgeous. He was wearing a black pair of 501s, a dark blue and red T-shirt with some rugby club logo in the front and he had his sweater tied around his waist. His beautiful hair was covering his forehead the same way it always did when it dried off after a shower, the beautiful golden locks coming close to his eyebrows. My beautiful boyfriend, I could stare at him for all eternity and never get tired. I made my way quietly until I was standing behind him, waiting for him to turn around. "Are you waiting for someone?" I asked, making him turn around. "When did you get here?" "Don't I get a "hello" or an "I'm happy to see you"? "Hi, I'm happy to see you. Did you have fun with Mike?" "We just talked for a while" "I bet you did. For almost two hours. It must be a very difficult test for you to need so much time!" "We talked about other things as well. He IS my friend. Are you by any chance a little jealous?" "No!" "You are jealous! That is so great!" I guess he didn't like my remark, because he looked really angry. "Don't get mad! I just think it's so cute! You don't have to be jealous. You are the only one in my life, always were, always will." "Then why did you have to see him?" "To talk to him about the test and to ask him a favor" and then I realized that I should have asked about the test. "What kind of favor?" "Well... I asked him to hang out with Andrew so I could come here" there goes the expert liar again. "Really?" "Why would you be jealous of Mike?" (and how do I tell you about him and the "thing"?) I thought.. "I don't know, he's been so nice to me lately that I figured he had something up his mind" "Maybe he's just being nice to you for no reason. He is your brother and he loves you. Give him a chance. But enough talk about Mike, we need to go to some place quiet because I need to kiss you really bad, specially after that cute little outburst" he certainly didn't like being called cute but he let it go. "Why do you think we are here?" "Why?" "I was thinking about a walk by the sea. How does that sound?" "It sounds so cute!" "Enough with the "cute" thing. Do you like it or not?" "Like it? I've dreamt about doing something like that with you!" "Ok, let's go, because I need to kiss you badly" We walked the block that separated us from the beach and when we got there, he looked at me and then to my feet. "Don't bother taking off your shoes, it's only uncomfortable until you get to the shore" "I take it this is not your first time?" "I like to take a walk by the sea at night every summer. It helps me to think" "About what?" "Everything. The sound of the waves helps me to relax and it helps me to concentrate, I don't know. It just feels nice" "And what do you like to think about?" "It's not like that. I just let my thoughts and ideas flow." "So, it's some kind of meditation?" "Yes, I guess it is." "Let's go to the pier!" "I was thinking about going the other way" "But there's nothing that way!" "I know, but it's a lot more private. I was thinking about holding your hand while we walk... not actually in public, but close enough" "But what if somebody sees us?" "All the people going that way are either too drunk or they are busy with someone else, no one will mind" "Ok" I just walked by his side while we got further away from the lights of the main street. I looked at the sky, admiring the stars shining powerfully, a sight only possible when you are away from the city. It was beautiful. "Look at that!" I told him. "What? Where?" "Look! Can you see that? That's a satellite!" "Are you sure?" "Yes, can't you see the way it's moving? If you take your time, you can see many others" "Wow" he said while he took my hand in his. "Far enough?" he questioned. "You bet!" I said while squeezing his hand. We walked for some time, just contemplating each other. I was thinking about a lot of things, maybe because of the sound of the ocean, maybe because I wanted to tell him so many things. "You are beautiful, you now that?" I said and he blushed a little. "Thanks" he said shyly, his face obviously red. I inched him closer and I kissed him. A kiss that was so different than any other, maybe because there was the chance that someone might see us. It felt so good, that I longed for the chance to do it every time I wanted, not caring where we were. "Sean..." I said while I hugged him and he placed his head on my shoulder, giving me the chance to kiss his hair. "What?" "Have you ever thought about telling someone about us?" He took a step back and gave me a curious look. "What do you mean? Who do you want to tell?" "I'm not saying I want to tell anyone. I'm just curious. Have you ever thought about it?" "Not really. Who are you talking about? I mean, who do you want to tell?" "I don't know, I was just thinking if it would be so bad if somebody knew about us" "You mean like my parents?" "No, certainly not your parents. They would have my head if they found out! I meant someone like Jay, you know, a friend" "I could never tell Jay about us. What if he told the whole school about me? That's not an option!" "Maybe he won't say anything" "Look, Jay is my friend and I'm not telling him. Period." "Ok, I just wanted to know how you felt about that." "Why do you need to tell anyone about us?" "I sometimes feel the need to share my feelings with someone. I feel so great about us, that I feel the need to tell the whole world that I love you. It's hard to... God, I can't explain it. I sometimes feel the need to share some of this with someone" "But you can talk to me" "It's not the same. It's just different. I don't mean that there are things I don't want to tell you, but it'd be nice to have someone to talk about you" "I see. Maybe some day. But right now, all I need is you" and we kissed again for the longest time. I had to think of a way to tell him about Jay and Mike because it was beginning to affect me in some sort of way. I didn't want to have to keep it a secret. We kept on walking, the waves breaking close to us, the only light coming from the moon above. It was a special moment. There were no worries, nothing but the moment. I wanted to tell him a lot of things, but it felt great just walking hand in hand the whole time. "Give me your sweater" I told him. "What for?" "Just give it to me" and as soon as I got it, I placed it on the sand for us to sit. ""Come here" I called and he sat between my legs, his back against my stomach, my arms around his chest. I inhaled his smell, that smell I had learned to love and had missed so much. "I love the way you smell" "What smell? Do I smell bad?" he asked worried. "No, not like that. You have a certain smell that's just you, it's special, it's... YOU. I like it" he just smiled at me. "I tried to think about that smell every night in bed while you were here. Trying to remember the way you felt every morning you woke up next to me. Question?" "Shoot" "Does the age difference ever bother you?" "You seem to have a lot of things on your mind tonight. It doesn't bother me at all. Does it bother you?" "Not really, I just had a lot of time to think about us, and I guess I started thinking about a lot of things. I mean, you are only fourteen... I don't know, it's just strange sometimes" "What do you mean strange? Does it make you feel uncomfortable?" "No, not like that. The thing is... I sometimes think that you... never mind" "That I..." "Don't listen to me. I am just being stupid." "Tell me, how does it bother you?" "Well, I sometimes think that you might find somebody with a lot more in common." "Don't be stupid. That will never happen. I love you and I'll never let you go. Besides, I'll be fifteen next week!" "I know. And I'll be twenty in two months. Maybe I'm getting worried about that." "Are you afraid of getting old?" he said trying to hold back a laugh. "No, nothing like that. Maybe I've had too much time to think. I love you..." "And?" "That's it. I love you!" "I love you more!" "No, you don't. I love you more!" "Ok, you win." and he kissed me just to make me shut up. "I guess we should start going back." I said as I pointed to the street lights in the distance. We must have walked over two miles. But what a great walk. I didn't let go of his hand until the last minute. People were waiting in line outside the cinema. It was not really late, but I had to call it a night if I was planning to get up early to talk to Sarah. What could she want? I thought about it as I walked back home after saying goodbye to Sean. It had been a great night. ________________ Well, everything seems to be just fine. Is it? Will it last? What is Sarah going to say? You'll have to wait and see! Don't forget to write! bardiel3@yahoo.com. Good luck to each and everyone of you!