Date: Wed, 10 May 2000 17:53:16 -0700 (PDT)
From: bardiel13@yahoo.com
Subject: steven and the turners 16

This story contains descriptions of sexual acts between young men.
Although the characters are young teenagers, It doesn't mean the author
endorses or approves sexual liaisons between underage teens or young
men. The following story is just a fantasy. None of this stories are
based on any fact known to the author. If you are not of legal age to
read this, you should leave now. If you do not like stories about
homosexual sex and relationships, you should leave now. If you are of
legal age and like this kind of stories, then keep reading and feel free
to send feedback. bardiel13@yahoo.com.

Important: The story doesn't take place in the US, so don't be surprised
by different seasons and such. The story is copyright 2000 by "Bardiel".
If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the email address:
bardiel13@yahoo.com. Keep in mind this is my first attempt.

Foreword: 16, my favorite number. But it is also a special number for
this chapter. It has been exactly three months since this story first
showed up. I never expected this to go so far. I never expected the story
to go the way it did. You could say that the characters started to come
to life in a certain way. A lot of things have happened, both to me and
the story, and I have to thank all of you out there for sticking with me
and for making this first attempt at writing the wonderful experience it
has been up to now (and I'm sure it will still be in the future). This
chapter is dedicated to everyone that has read "Steven and the Turners",
a story that has taken a life of its own.



Chapter 16: Aftershock.

Just for the shortest of times, I felt him kissing me back. Just for a
split second he went with it. Then, reality came crashing down like a
meteor falling out of control. He pushed me away fast and hard, his face
was white and his eyes showed fear and confusion. I still wasn't sure if
I hadn't made the worst mistake of my life.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing? It's not funny!" Anger.

"It's all right, they know" I said trying to sound calm and in control.

"I said it's not funny! How dare you do something like that! I'm not
gay!"

"Do you mind if I kiss my boyfriend again?" I asked the other two guys
sitting at the table.

"I said it's not funny!"

"It's ok, Sean. We already know" Jay said.

I've never seen Sean so angry. He looked at his friend as if he was
trying to melt him right on the spot. He was so mad his chest was moving
fast, he was breathing hard and he was looking from left to right as if
something was about to attack him. I knew he was having a hard time
trying to think straight.

"It's true. They've known for some time. You can stop pretending"

"SHUT UP!" he told me. He was totally lost.

"Calm down. Let's talk about it. Why don't you sit down and have a cup of
tea?" I offered. How stupid of me.

"I don't want a cup of god damned tea. I wanna know what's going on right
know. What the fuck is going on?"

We all looked at the floor. It was in the open, just like I wanted but
how was I supposed to go from there? Sean was looking at us one by one
with a face that could only be described as expressionless. I wanted to
say something but I couldn't come up with anything.

"Well?" Sean asked. "Are you going to say something?" he asked me.

"I don't know what to say. Jay and Mike have known about us for some
time. We thought you should know"

"How considerate of you! Thank you very much!"

"Calm down!" I said.

"Don't tell me to calm down! I don't want to calm down!"

"I'm sorry. I didn't know how to tell you."

"It's not like he told us! I already knew!" Jay offered. Sean looked at
him but he couldn't answer back.

"I've known for a couple of months, too" Mike added.

"You don't know anything! It's not true!"

"Really? were did you sleep last night?"

"JAY!" I barked at him and gave him a look that told him to shut up. Sean
was speechless. There was no way out of this.

"How?" was all he could say, barely audible.

"I've known right from the start. Well, not right from the start, but I
had my suspicions. I told Mike"

"How could you?"

"That's a little hard to explain. Mike is my boyfriend" he looked at Mike
and Mike nodded. Jay smiled at that.

"What!?"

"I think we should start from the beginning" I told him. "Although I'm
not sure where"

"You and Mike?" was all he could say. "What happened?"

"Remember that night you were supposed to be at Jay's? He heard us that
time when you asked me to come home for the first time, and after that
night he just put two and two together. That was also the night when they
got together"

"I don't get it"

"I guess I should tell you everything. Jay used to have a crush on you
and Mike used to have a crush on me. When Jay found out about us he
called Mike and they got together. When you left on vacations, Jay told
Mike about us, we had sort of an argument about it and a lot of things
were said, but it's all right now."

"Oh, yes, I can see that! I'm so pleased that everything's all right! So
you are fucking my best friend, how nice of you! I'm so glad for the two
of you"

"Sean, that's not fair" I told him.

"Oh, I'm sorry. THAT'S not fair. I'm SO sorry!"

"Let me explain. You are not being fair. They are a couple just like you
and me. They've known about us for a long time and they have been really
great about it."

"I guess you should know since you have been planning all this behind my
back!"

"I haven't been planning anything! They've both been there for me during
the time you were away and I didn't want to tell you about it until you
came back. I knew you were going to react like this. I didn't want to
ruin your holidays"

"How thoughtful of you!"

"Give him a brake. He's trying to make it easier for you" Jay told him.

"You shut up! I don't want to hear a word from you!" Jay was obviously
hurt.

"I'm sorry. I know you didn't want to tell anyone, but they already knew!
Why does it bother you so much? Your best friend is ok with it, he's
really happy for us and your brother is ok with it, too. He's been really
great about it, why can't you see that?"

"I never had a choice, did I?"

"What do you mean?"

"You were all talking about it and telling each other about how nice it
is for some time and I never had a saying in it. I'm sure you've been
talking about me, I just never had a clue."

"You're not making any sense"

"Excuse me for being so messed up! How long have you and Mike been doing
it?"

"Almost three months, but it's not like that" he didn't even look him in
the eye.

"Like I care. Were you going to tell me?"

"I couldn't tell you. Were YOU going to tell me?"

"Point taken. I can't believe it! My best friend and older brother are an
item!"

"Just like you and Steven. Why does it bother you so much?"

"Shut up, Mike! I don't want to hear you"

"Why does it bother you so much, then?" I asked.

"I don't know! It just does!"

"I don't see where the problem is. They know about us, you don't have to
hide it anymore, you have someone else to talk to. You're best friend is
there for you, why does it bother you so much? I don't get it"

"Well, I don't get it either! It just makes me so mad! He used to have
feelings for you!"

"And Jay used to have feelings for you and I can live with it."

"It's not the same!"

"It's exactly the same! They haven't got feelings for us anymore. People
change!"

"Oh, that's nice. So you could get over me just like that?"

"I didn't mean it that way! It's not the same, I love you and I know you,
it's a lot different"

"Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure! They just know about us, what's the big deal?"

"I don't want them to know! I don't want to know about them. It's
different! I don't want it to be different!"

"It doesn't change a thing"

"It changes everything!"

"It doesn't change how I feel about you"

"But what about them?"

"What about them?"

"I don't want him to know!" and he pointed at Mike.

"He's your brother!" Jay shouted.

"I don't want to talk to you! It's all your fault!"

Jay stood up and walked out of the room, I could see a tear forming in
his eye.

"That's not fair! Why did you take it out on him?" Mike asked.

"Shut up! I don't want to talk to you! I don't want to hear a word from
you!"

"Is it so hard for you to accept that you're not the only one with
something special going on? Why does it bother you so much that we know
about you? I don't have a problem with it. I'm glad you two are
together."

"But you have feelings for him!"

"No, I don't! I used to have feelings for him, but not anymore. I'm with
Jay"

"I don't wanna hear about it!"

"Why? Because your best friend and your older brother are happy together?
Or is it because you want to be the only one? Or is it because you don't
want me to be happy?"

"Mike, I think that's enough" I told him.

"No, it's not enough. He has to deal with it. I'm not going to stop going
out with Jay just to make him happy and I plan to be around him as much
as I can while my parents are away. And he will have to learn to deal
with the fact that I'm going to kiss him even if he's around. We wanted
to tell him so we could stop pretending and I don't know why he has such
a hard time with it."

"We could be ourselves in front of them. We could stop trying to hide
every time we wanted to kiss each other. We could talk to them if we
wanted to. Why is it so difficult to understand?"

"I'm not talking in front of him"

"I'm sorry, but we are having this conversation. Steven, why don't you go
check on the boys? You can take them to buy the things for Martin's
party. Jay might want to come along." It was not a request.

"I'm sorry, Sean. I didn't want it to go like this. I have a lot of
things I want to tell you but I know you're not listening. You will
probably hate me after this, but I had to do it. I never thought you'd
make such a big deal out of it."

"Don't go. Please stay" he pleaded.

"I have nothing else to say. Perhaps Mike can get to you. You need to
talk about a lot of things, I just hope you won't hate me for it"

I went upstairs after closing the door to the kitchen. I found Jay
sobbing in Mike's bedroom. I sat beside him and placed my hand on his
head.

"It's ok"

"No, it's not ok. It's all my fault. If I hadn't told Mike, if I hadn't
been" he said between sobs.

"That's not true and you know it. It's not your fault."

"Yes it is. It's all my fault"

"No, it's not. He's not mad at you. He didn't mean to say that"

"Yes, he did."

"He's not mad because you know. It's about something else. There's still
a lot we haven't told him. He's mad because the little information he has
is making him doubt a lot of things he had taken for granted. He is mad
at his brother because it's him. He's mad at me because I kept a secret
from him, and because it had to do with his brother. He's mad at you
because you didn't trust him, but mainly, he's mad at himself because he
is so confused. I couldn't tell him the whole truth. About what happened
between you and Mike when you told him, about what happened between the
three of us that day and about how one felt towards the other.

I know Mike will tell him. He knows he has nothing to lose. Sean will get
mad at him and he will have a hard time taking it all in. But I trust
that in the end they will be able to understand each other a little
better. Sean and Mike never got along, they have a long history behind
them, but until they come to terms with it they will never get to be
friends. I want them to be friends. I need them to be friends"

"Why?" he asked, still looking down.

"Because it's the only way that we can all get along. Sean will never be
around you if you are with Mike and he will never let me near Mike. He
has to learn to trust Mike"

"Do you think that will happen?"

"I don't know. I think that if they talk long enough and express their
true feelings, they will be ok. But I don't know what will happen. Did
you ever think that we would be friends?"

"Not in a million years"

"But we are here nonetheless. I hope that Mike can get to him."

"He can do it. He wants to change his relationship with Sean. He really
does."

"I know, but we'll have to wait and see."

"I can't hear them."

"They must be waiting for the other to go first, kind of like a power
struggle. We have to get the boys and leave before it gets ugly"

"You think it will get that bad?"

"I think there will be a lot of shouting. Let's go wake up the boys, I
don't want them to hear anything"

"Rise and shine, little ones!" I said as I let the sun come into the
room.

"It's too early!" came Martin's reply.

"Come on! If you don't get up, we can't go and buy the stuff for your
party!"

"I'm up!" he said as he jumped out of his bed and run to the bathroom.

"Do I have to take a shower?" asked Johnny.

"No, not now. We are going to McDonald's for breakfast so you have to get
dressed fast."

In less than ten minutes, we were all downstairs ready to leave.

"Don't you want to check on them?" Jay asked.

"No. I wouldn't know what to say. Let's go!"

We left the house and walked the five blocks to the fast food restaurant.
I tried to look happy, but Jay could read me like a book. He knew I was
worried about what we left behind. I was sure that I had made the worst
mistake of my life. I was afraid that Sean would hate me for leaving him
alone with Mike. It was a tough morning.

"They've left" Mike observed.

"So?"

"You don't have anything to say?"

"Not to you"

"I've been trying to show you that I've changed. Trying to be nicer to
you. I'm not proud of the way we get along but I want you to understand
that I don't have it in for you. I'm not the enemy"

"Yes you are, you have always been."

"That hurts"

"Oh, I'm sooo sorry" he said mockingly.

"Stop acting like a child. Why don't you grow up?"

"Oh, the adult has spoken"

"Come on, say it again!"

"What? You're going to hit me?"

"No, I'm just trying to see why you're acting like such a jerk"

"Like you even care!"

"Yes, I do care! You're acting like a jerk. You've been a jerk to me, to
Steven and Jay."

"I'm sorry I made your boyfriend cry"

"He's your best friend. I still don't get why this is such a big deal."

"I didn't want anybody to know. Especially not you!"

"It's not like anyone told us. We just found out. Are you so afraid of
kissing your boyfriend in front of me?"

"It's not like that!"

"I think it is. Are you afraid of what I might say?"

"NO!"

"You're afraid I'm going to start calling you a faggot! That's it!"

"NO! NO!" and then he started crying. He wanted to repress it so much, he
didn't want to cry in front of his brother.

"How can it bother you so much even after you find out that I'm gay, too?
I would never go that low"

"Yes you would! You always have! You never have anything good to say
about me. You are always undermining me, telling me how worthless I am.
I'm sick of it!"

"I'm so sorry. I never meant it that way. I just wanted to make you mad."

"But it still hurts! You are my big brother, and you have never taken my
side. I always cover for you but you always tell on me! I hate you!"

The words came out like a million knives, cutting through Mike, making
him realize how much his brother hated him. He tried to hold his brother
only to be pushed away. He felt the tears forming in his eyes, and the
heat of each tear as it rolled down his face.

They stayed away from each other, each one crying his heart out in one
corner of the kitchen. A lot of time passed while they tried to come up
with something to say.

"Please don't hate me" Mike said, breaking the annoying silence, but Sean
didn't answer. "I'm sorry about everything I've done to you. I never
wanted you to hate me. I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry. I don't really hate you. But you always get the worst of me"
he could see the pain he had caused in his older brother and for the
first time he saw him in a different context. It was not his brother in
front of him, but a person. A person just as hurt as himself.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry" he kept repeating.

Again there was silence. Both of them trying to think and analyze what
had just been said. It was Mike who spoke first.

"Is it that bad that we know about you and Steven?"

"I don't know. It just changes a lot of things. I never expected this to
happen" he answered honestly.

"But, is it that bad? I mean, you have someone else to talk about it. You
don't have to hide your feelings in front of us"

"That's not what's bothering me. Things will change now, they won't be
the same. It was just between us, and now it's not anymore"

"And that's a bad thing?"

"I don't know"

"I'm sorry about all of this. I never wanted you to hate me"

"I don't hate you. I just don't trust you"

"Because of all the things I've done?"

"No, it has nothing to do with that"

"Then, what is it?"

"I can't trust you. You had feelings for my boyfriend and I don't know if
I can get over that"

"Then brace yourself, it gets worse"

"What do you mean?"

"You want to hear the truth?"

"..."

"That night you stayed at Steven's, Jay called me because he said he
needed to talk to me. He was going to tell me about you and Steven. He
used to have feelings for you and he was really mad at Steven since you
to were together. He wanted to tell me about it, but I ended up telling
him I was gay. I thought he had found out about me and I blurted it all
out. He came on to me and I never said no. I wanted it to happen, I
wanted to have sex, plain and simple. I used to have feelings for Steven
but I was never able to tell him. Then Jay was coming on to me and
suddenly I was having sex and it felt great. I got really confused, I
still had feelings for Steven but it was different. I was more interested
in the sex part than anything else.

Just before you left, I called Steven's name while we were having sex. He
threw me out and told me that you and Steven were together. I thought I
had a chance with him when you left so I decided to try. I came on to
him, but he got really mad at me. He told me a lot of things and he told
me how much you loved each other and that he could never do something
like that to you. He also said a lot of things about me. He made me
reconsider a lot of things. I never saw him again until that night at St.
Clem's. That same day he talked to Jay and they had a huge fight. Jay
punched him right on the face but they somehow got to talking and they've
been getting along really well. They didn't want to keep secrets from
you, that's why they wanted to tell you."

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I'm your brother, I know I haven't been
the best of brothers, but I'm trying to be your friend. Why won't you let
me?"

"It's hard for me to trust you. You've been on my case ever since I can
remember. How can I trust you?"

"I told you I'm not proud of that. I want to get to know you, Sean. I
want us to be friends"

"I don't know if I can do that"

"There's nothing to be done. You just have to let me get to know you. I
want you to get to know me, too. As a person"

"Do you really think it's that simple?"

"It's a start"

"I have to think about it. I'm going for a walk"

"Ok. Take your time. And remember that Jay is your friend, too."

"I'll think about it"

I walked for over two hours. Just walked around the neighborhood, no
destination in particular. I wanted to understand why I got so mad with
them. With all of them. Why did it bother me so much? Why did the fact
that my brother and Jay knew about my relationship with Steven bother me
that much? I wasn't sure how that changed everything, but I was sure that
it did, somehow. The truth is that I was really scared about the whole
thing. It had felt so safe when it was just us, but now it was different.
Now more people knew our secret and non other than Mike.

I was shocked to find out about my brother being gay and that my best
friend was his boyfriend. But that wasn't what bothered me. I could learn
to accept that, it wasn't that much of a problem, but I knew that it
somehow affected us. Funny, the "us" part. My 19 year old boyfriend and
me. I was so happy about our relationship. The best thing that ever
happened to me. He said that it was ok, and I wanted to believe him, but
did he realize how much it changed things? He had had more time to deal
with it, but how could he be around Mike after knowing he had feelings
for him? And what about Jay having feelings for me? I never saw that one
coming. I never looked at him in that way. We have been friends for a
long time, but I've never thought about him in a sexual way.

So many things to think about. I still felt strange about my talk with
Mike. I never saw him cry. Not once. I hurt him. He was right about the
whole thing. I was afraid he would ridicule me, but not just me, my whole
relationship. He said he wanted us to be friends. I had wished for that
so many times. I've always wanted to be close to him, to have his
approval. Was it too late? I would like to get to know him better, but
how do you do that now? I kept thinking about it, on and on. Block after
block.

Steven thought I would hate him for this. How could I hate him for
anything? Sometimes I think he doesn't understand how much I love him.
How far I would go for him. I was so in love with him when I decided to
confront him, I never even thought about the consequences. I know that he
loves me, but he can be so insecure some times Or maybe that's just what
I think.

I made my way to the mall and I saw him walking around with my brothers
and Jay. He was trying to have fun, but I knew him better. He was
worried, I could tell. Jay, my best friend, was trying to make him laugh,
but I could also tell that he wasn't very happy himself. I remembered
what I told him and I felt sorry about it. I walked away after that. I
didn't want them to see me. I still didn't know what I was supposed to
say. I started walking slowly back home. The closer I got, the more
nervous I felt. I realized that I felt nervous about Mike. Something had
changed between us, hopefully for the better, but I didn't know how to
face him. "Can it get more complicated?" I thought to myself.

I was feeling hungry when I arrived home and after checking my watch I
realized that it was way past lunch time. I walked into the kitchen and I
saw Mike sitting at the table, drinking some coke.

"Hi" he said timidly.

"Hi"

Silence.

"Is it going to get weird?" I asked him.

"It doesn't have to"

"I'm sorry, Mike."

"I'm sorry, too" he said as we shook hands.

"I'm still not sure about where we go from here"

"You just need to know that I'm here for you. For anything you want"

"Same here"

"Great"

It was a start. We were both finally on the same ground.

"I'm hungry."

"Yeah, me too"

"Hot dogs?"

"Only if you're cooking"

"I'm cooking"

"Then hot dogs it is!" I said. "So... you and Jay..."

"Yeah... Does it bother you?"

"No, no. That's not why I'm asking. I was just curious. He came on to
you?"

"Yeah, he made me drink some beer and he took me by surprise"

"That sounds like Jay."

"What do you think mom would say about us?"

"To tell you the truth, I think she would freak out, but I'm in no hurry
to fin out!"

"Me neither!"

The phone rang a few minutes later. It was Steven.

"Yes, everything's all right" I heard Mike tell him. "Wait a second" "He
wants to know if we want to go catch a movie"

"I'm not really in the mood, but you should go"

"Ok, I'll see you there" he told Steven.

I spent the rest of the afternoon alone. I thought about a lot of things.
I must have dozed off, because when I woke up it was almost 7:00 p.m. I
went downstairs and found everybody in the living room. Martin was
showing Mike what they had bought for his party. They all looked at me
when I came in.

"I hope we didn't wake you up" Steven told me.

"No, it's all right"

"I'm going to start making dinner. You can watch a movie if you want as
long it's one that I have already seen"

He left the room without saying a word and without even looking at me.
Jay wasn't looking at me either. Mike looked at me and moved his head in
the kitchen's direction.

I sat on the table and rested my feet on one of the chairs, but Steven
didn't turn around.

"Are you mad at me?"

"No"

"Then why aren't you looking at me?"

"I'm busy"

"I'm sorry"

"About what?"

"About this morning"

"Don't be. It was my fault. I should have handled it better"

"It's not your fault"

"It's not Jay's fault either. Have you apologized to him?"

"Not yet. I'd rather be alone with him"

"How are you and Mike doing?"

"Ok, I guess. We talked about a lot of things"

"I'm glad you did. Was it so bad? To find out about them? To know that
they know?"

"I'm still thinking about that" that's when he turned around.

"I was too stupid. There were a million other ways for you to find out.
I'm sorry. I fucked up!"

"No you haven't. I'm not proud of my reaction either. It could have been
different, but it wasn't."

"Are you ok with it?"

"I will be. Doesn't it bother you to be around Mike and Jay after finding
out about them?"

"I still find it hard to be around Mike but I'm ok with Jay. I really
trust him"

"OK"

"I think you and Jay have a lot to talk about. I'll be waiting for you
after you're done."

"Ok. I'll talk to him after dinner"

"Sean?" he said looking at me with the sweetest look in his eyes. I was
melting. "We can make it through this, right?"

"As long as we have each other"

"I love you, more than I've ever loved anyone. Nothing is going to change
no matter what happens"

"I see you've been talking to Mike"

"What kind of friend would he be if he didn't tell me?"

"I guess I'll have to get used to that. I love you!" He kissed me just as
I finished saying it. His kisses were always so tender and sweet no
matter what the circumstances were. "We are in the middle of the kitchen"
I reminded him.

"You don't have to worry. Mike or Jay will say something if one of the
boys is heading this way"

"That's something else I'll have to get used to"

"We have all the time in the world. Nobody's rushing us" and he continued
kissing me.

It was almost two in the morning. I opened the door as softly as I could,
not wanting to wake him up. I made my way to the bed and sat next to him,
trying not to wake him up.

"I'm awake" he said, surprising me a little. "I told you I would wait for
you. How did it go?"

"Great. We talked about a lot of things. Even about stuff I thought I
would never discuss with anyone"

"I'm glad. Come here!" he said as he pushed the covers aside, making some
room for me.

All I wanted to do was to cuddle and he knew it. He hugged me and kissed
me softly all over my face. It wasn't erotic, but it was great all the
same. I placed my arm around his chest and fell asleep like I always do
when I'm with him. The man I love.