Date: Sun, 24 Sep 2000 22:02:22 -0700 (PDT)
From: bardiel13@yahoo.com
Subject: steven & the turners 30

This story contains descriptions of sexual acts between young men.
Although the characters are young teenagers, It doesn't mean the author
endorses or approves sexual liaisons between underage teens or young
men. The following story is just a fantasy. None of this stories are
based on any fact known to the author. If you are not of legal age to
read this, you should leave now. If you do not like stories about
homosexual sex and relationships, you should leave now. If you are of
legal age and like this kind of stories, then keep reading and feel free
to send feedback. bardiel13@yahoo.com.

Important: The story doesn't take place in the US, so don't be surprised
by different seasons and such. The story is copyright 2000 by "Bardiel".
If you copy the story, please leave the credits, and the email address:
bardiel13@yahoo.com. Keep in mind this is my first attempt.

Foreword: Well, I'm very glad. It seems that you are enjoying everything
that's going on. At least so far. Well, as always, I thank my editor
RORIK for his work and for his insight. This chapter is a little
different, there a re a lot of little things in there that will come out
in future chapters, but as my usual evil self, I'm not telling! This
time, I'd like to recommend a couple of stories (since you're always
telling me how you can't wait):

"New Kid in School" in the high-school section is probably the best story
I've read, it was the first I ever read on nifty and it has inspired me
quite some.

Next up, you should check "I only wanted Aaron" in the same section. It
is another great story written by a great guy. I'm sure you'll enjoy.

Finally, check out "Phantom Wanker of Quadra" in the military section;
great characters, very sexy and emotional. I follow it avidly ever since
I found it.


Chapter 30: Bonding.

"What is it?" I asked. He was taking his time.

"Well, I'm just curious, but what does that ring really mean? I mean,
it's not like you to plan to get married or anything…?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you two can't do it, I don't know, just curious I guess."

"I know people like us can't get married, but it doesn't matter. I know
what I want and he wants the same thing, that's all there really is to
it."

"But..."

"But what?"

"Well, are you engaged or something?"

"I'm not sure myself. I still don't feel comfortable with any word
really. "Couple" sounds like a pair but nothing that means connected,
"husbands" sounds silly, but maybe engaged would be the closer to it.
Maybe engaged to be engaged, although that sounds even worse. I guess the
ring means that we both want the same thing."

"Which is?"

"Being together, for as long as we can, knowing that this is serious and
that someday we'll do something about it."

"Like what?"

"I don't know, we can't get married, that's obvious. I'm not sure I would
even be comfortable with it anyway, it's like marriage is supposed to be
the bride and the groom in the church, you know? Maybe some kind of
ceremony, something to... how can I say it... to ... to show our
commitment, to each other and our loved ones."

There was a long pause in our conversation. I don't know what he was
thinking, but I sure had stuff on my mind. Coming out to our families,
for one thing. Wondering how they'd react, if they'd be supportive.
Thinking if anyone at all would want to participate in such a ceremony.
It was going to happen, I had no doubt in my mind, but it sure would be
nice if other people would be there to share the moment with us. I
realized that only time would tell. Mike stopped me from going further.

"How can you be so sure?"

"Meaning?"

"I mean, you're twenty, Sean's fifteen, how can you be so sure? How
can...?"

"How can we know this is going to work out? How can we be thinking about
it?"

"Yeah." He was now resting his chin on his crossed hands, over the edge
of the bed.

"Because we both want it that way. I don't think there is any
explanation. We both just feel it. We both want to work on this and do
whatever it takes for this to work. I know I want it to be like this, so
the only thing that could stop me would be me. It's what I want, and I do
it because it feels right. I know for a fact that I can't leave without
him, that I need him. I just love him more than I ever loved anybody else
in my life. We are together and we want to stay together."

"Aren't you afraid?"

"Yeah, of course I am. But it's worth it. There are things I just can't
control, so I forget about them. I see no point in dwelling too much on
things you can't change. And for the rest, I take them as they come."

Mike was anxious and almost stuttering. "Well, yeah, but... I mean, what
if my parents found out? I just can't stop thinking about it. I don't
know what they'd do. What if they found out about me and Jay, you know? I
don't see myself coming out to them."

"Promise you won't tell anyone what I'm about to tell you?"

"What?"

"Promise you won't tell."

"I promise! What is it?"

"Your mother knows about me and Sean."

"What?! How?"

"She just figured it out on her own, I think. But Sean doesn't know, you
can't tell him!"

"How do you know that she knows?"

"She has known since April. We talked about it today. I told her you know
about us."

"How did she find out?"

"I don't know. Maybe... no, I don't know."

"You think she knows about me and Jay?"

"No, I'm sure she doesn't." I kept to myself that she probably would have
felt a lot different about the whole thing if she knew about both her
sons.

"She's ok with it? I mean, she doesn't mind?"

"I don't know if she's ok with it, but she won't stop us."

"I can't believe she knows."

"Does it bother you?"

"I don't know. Does my Dad know?"

"No, I don't think she will tell him either."

"Man, you two are so lucky." I could sense something in the tone of his
voice. I already knew what it was all about, but he had to say it.

"What about you two?"

"Have you talked to Jay?"

"About what?"

"No, nothing."

"Tell me." I insisted.

"I'm not sure there's a lot to tell."

"Mike!"

"Well, it's just that I've been thinking a lot lately. I mean, you and
Sean..." He trailed off.

"What about us?"

"Nothing really. I guess I'm a bit jealous, that's all."

"Jealous? About what?"

"I don't know. You're just so sure about your relationship. I know what
Jay wants, but I'm not sure."

"You're loosing me here."

"It's just that I know Jay would like something more, but I'm not sure
I'm ready."

"Ready for what?"

"Well, I don't know. Maybe it's because we haven't been able to be on our
own lately. I mean, you guys spend a lot of time together, you go out
together and spend the night together every Friday. I was hoping that
once we got our own place, we'd be able to grow closer again. Maybe I'm
crazy and there's nothing wrong."

"But you said something about not being ready. What did you mean?"

"I know you and Jay are really close. He looks up to you, and I think
maybe he wants the same kind of relationship you and Sean have, but I'm
not sure I'm ready to commit myself to someone like that. At least not
now."

"Did he ever tell you anything like that?"

"No, but I can see it every time he looks at both of you guys."

"I think you are just freaking out a little. As far as I know, you've
just been thinking too much. If he hasn't said anything, don't rush into
conclusions. We are all different and we want different things. Just
because someone feels a certain way, it doesn't mean he has to go ahead
and do whatever he's thinking about. Maybe he wants that, maybe he
doesn't, but you don't have to do it if you're not sure. I think you just
have to give it some time and start enjoying each other again."

"But what if he..."

"Mike, he hasn't said anything, at least not yet, don't start worrying
about something that hasn't happened or may never happen. You'll both do
what feels right."

"What if it doesn't work out?"

"Why wouldn't it?"

"Well, what if he asks me?"

"Mike, you are not on your way to get married. You said it yourself, you
both have been having some trouble lately and it made you start thinking,
but you're giving it a lot of thought. It all comes down to what you
want. Do you want to break up with him?"

"No, of course not, but what if he wants to?"

"I can't talk for Jay, but let me assure you that it's the last thing on
his mind."

"You two have been talking about it, haven't you?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Come on, I need to know!"

"I already told you what you need to know. I can't say anything else."

"What do you talk about? I mean, he spends a lot of time at your place,
what kind of things do you talk about?"

"Mike, I can't tell you what he tells me. That wouldn't be fair."

"I'm not asking for specifics. Just in general. I'm always the last one
to know."

"Well, we talk about me, about him, about you, about Sean, about school,
about sex..."

"You talk about sex?!! Like what? You see? You never talk to me about
things like that! What do you talk about?"

"Mike, I do talk to you. About me, and you and Jay, but I can't talk to
you about sex. I mean, Sean's your brother, that'd be weird, not to
mention he'd kill me if I did."

"But you don't talk about me and Jay having sex, right?"

"Well, sometimes..." I said, trying not to grin.

"What?! What does he tell you?"

"Nothing much. Why do you think I left with Sean last night and left you
alone?"

"You knew from the beginning what we were doing?"

"Well, nothing specific, just in general." I mocked him.

"OH MY GOD!! I can't believe Jay tells you about that!"

"Oh, come on. Like you didn't know that me and Sean were doing it in the
bathroom!" I only realized that I said it after I finished.

"I knew you did!!" He pointed his finger at me and laughed. I was
blushing furiously once again. "How does that feel?"

"Well, it's not like I'm going to freak out about it. You just know we
did something, just like I know you did something. Nothing specific, and
I intend to keep it like that, you pervert!"

"Look who's talking! You're the one dating an underage kid."

"You'll be doing the same thing a few days from now, my friend. Hardly a
good comeback."

"I completely forgot about that…"

"Is that going to start bothering you?"

"No, I feel a lot better now. Maybe I was thinking about it too much.
Only I would feel a lot better if you told me what else he told you."

"Nothing you don't know."

"Like what?"

"I'm sure you know what he feels for you."

"Yeah, I do." He smiled happily. "Do you think I've changed over the last
year?"

"People don't change, Mike. You matured a lot and showed you can be
responsible, but people don't change."

"That's a little harsh, don't you think?"

"No, I truly believe it."

"So you still feel the same way about me as the day we first met?"

"I didn't say that. I just said that in their core, people always stay
the same. We are who we are and we can't change that, no matter how hard
we try. I mean, there are things that change, but not your true self."

"What about me? What did you think about us when you met us?"

"That's a lot different than what I'm saying. I'm talking about the real
you, not the one you let everybody see. That's what always stays the
same."

"I'm curious anyway. Tell me what you thought about us?"

"You sure?" I looked at him.

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Well, at first, I thought you were a jerk. Too full of yourself and
always boasting about all your great deeds."

"Really?"

"Yeah, but then I got to know you. I mean, really know you. How you are
just a little bit insecure, sometimes a little shy. I know that to people
in general, I seem unfriendly sometimes and a bit of a loner. But I know
that I just open up to very few people I trust and that I'm a good
listener but don't like talking about myself.

"Jay, at first, comes out as a goofy, childish guy. And the fact that he
looks older doesn't help. But once you get to know him, you find out that
that's his way of trying to call for attention, that all he really wants
is for people to like him and show him affection.

"Sean acts all confident and sometimes a little cocky with his friends,
he just tires to fit in. But he can be really stubborn, he knows what he
wants and won't stop until he gets it, and he can be really sweet too, he
has a good heart."

"You’ve thought about all of us deeply, haven’t you?"

"You are my best friends and the closest people to my heart. I care about
you all. That's all."

"Thanks, man. I feel the same way about you guys." He stretched his arm
and we shook hands.

"But what I was saying is that as much as I would like to change who I
am, I just can't. We can't do stuff that we don't have in us. We can
learn from past mistakes, but essentially, we always stay the same. A
little insecure, no matter how confident we get, a little shy, no matter
how many experiences we have. A little stubborn, no matter how many times
we bump against the same wall and needing attention no matter how much we
are loved. It's who we are. If people could reinvent themselves everyday,
we would loose our identity. We all grow up and learn, but we are the
same person."

"That's deep. What made you start thinking about all this?"

"I really don't wanna go there, so lets drop it, ok?."

He kept quiet for a second, knowing that once Steven said he didn't want
to talk about something, it was over. "So... you thought I was a jerk?"

"A hot looking jerk!" I chuckled.

"Well, I suppose I can forgive you."

"Whatever. Next time, don't wait so long. I've been waiting for you to
say something, I mean, we can talk any time you need to."

"Yeah, ok." Maybe someday he'll even talk about himself, Mike kept
thinking.

"Are you going to be alright?"

"Yeah. I feel a lot better now. You were right, you know?"

"I'm always right!"

"Talk about being cocky!"

"Just kidding. About what?"

"About me. Thank you."

"You're welcome." I smiled.

"You're not going to tell Jay about this, are you?"

"Just like I didn't tell you what he told me, I won't tell him what you
tell me." He kept quiet for another while. I was getting ready to fall
asleep.

"You think my mother will understand?"

"About me and Sean or about you?"

"Both I guess."

"I don't know. She has started to accept us, but I don't know how she'll
react if you told her. I wouldn't anyway. Not for the time being."

"I'm not planning to. Just curious." He sighed. "You two are really
lucky."

"Only because we have each other. I wouldn't stop if things became
difficult."

"I never thought either of you would. You’re soulmates. Jay and I
talked about it the other day. It's true."

"I guess we are." I sighed. I guess that's the word for us. The right
word, I thought to myself.

"Good night." He said over his shoulder.

"Good night." I said over mine.

______________________________

I got you! I'm sure you thought I had some devious scheme in mind and
that you were going to find something awful in this chapter. Well, as you
can see, that didn't happen (at least not yet). Stay tuned and remember:
bardiel13@yahoo.com is my mail if you feel like writing.