Date: Mon, 11 Jan 2010 21:41:56 -0500
From: Scribe 1971 <scribe1971@hotmail.com>
Subject: Substitute Dad Chapter 45

Welcome back readers!  I'll bet you weren't expecting to see this chapter
so soon!  You are in for something a little different this time.  This
chapter was written almost entirely by my awesome editor David of Hope!
David has done a bang up job editing for me and he has contributed
enormously to the story.  As you can tell by reading this, David has as
good a grasp of the characters as I do.  I hope you enjoy this one.  It was
an interesting experience swapping places and being the editor for a
change.

Cheers,
Scribe


Chapter 45 -- Boxing Our Way to New Years

I was expecting Monday, the day after Christmas to be our day of rest.
Even though I had to get up at six in the morning to empty my bladder, and
then let Brutus out to do his business, within five minutes, I was able to
go back downstairs and cuddle up with Bryan again.  My eyes closed easily
and I was asleep again in total comfort.

The next movement I felt was Bryan getting back in bed -- I guess he had to
empty his bladder too.  He kissed my cheek and said, "I love you," before
he snuggled into my back again.  I'm not sure, I may have moaned from the
blissful emotion that went through my being, but my eyes remained closed as
I slipped back into unconsciousness.

The beginning of a dream was completely interrupted when Brutus jumped on
the bed and started wiggling his way in between Bryan and I, happily
whimpering and whining his way up to our faces.  Somehow I'd turn onto my
other side and was facing Bryan as my eyes opened.  I tried to hang onto
Brian's torso, but Brutus was having none of it.  Within seconds, our faces
were getting a doggy tongue bath.

Bryan and I tried to turn over on our backs, but we couldn't.  Including
Brutus, there was five of us on the queen sized bed -- Josh behind me and
Mark behind Bryan.

"Come on Dad, you gotta get up.  Mom has breakfast almost ready.  You've
got ten minutes."

I looked over Bryan's shoulder.  "Bryan and I can't move an inch until you
guys get off the bed!"

"Can't we just stay in bed all day and sleep?"  Bryan asked.  I knew he had
to be exhausted after all the activities of yesterday.

"No way!"  Mark exclaimed.  "We're going shopping!  It's Boxing Day!"

"Ten minutes!"  I yawned.  "Give us fifteen."

"What time is it?"  Bryan asked.

"Quarter to nine.... Susan wants to be in the mall by 9:30!"  Mark answered
as he got off the bed and pulled on Bryan's shoulder.  I got the same
treatment from Josh.  Bryan and I lay there on our backs and let out a deep
sigh at the same time.  Then Brutus jumped off the bed.

"I guess if we don't move it," I said, "Susan's going to get Brutus to do
something nasty to us.  Isn't that right Brutus?"

"Whooof" Brutus came out with a deep edge to his voice.

"Aha!"  I exclaimed, "That's how she did it!  Keywords!"  I laughed.

Once again, Bryan and I had to do our `ring around the rosie' in my small
bathroom between the sink, the throne, and the shower and arrived upstairs
to two cups of coffee already prepared for us.  Susan was dishing out
scrambled eggs, while Josh and Mark were adding buttered toast to the
plates.  Bryan and I were still yawning.

"Morning fellas," Susan said smiling.  "Tomorrow.... honest, tomorrow is a
day of rest, but today we go shopping and grab all the bargains out there.
I'm going to hit the Bay with that gift certificate."  Then with a bit of a
sneer, she added, "They're going to be sorry they saw me.  Oh, and I have
to make an appointment for the spa too."

"Oh boy!"  I moaned between bites.  We'd sealed our own fate with those
gift certificates.  I knew we weren't going to win, so we had to go with
Susan's enthusiasm.  "Josh, go warm up the Jeep please.... Mark, give
Brutus a quick run in the back yard before we go."

Wordlessly, Bryan and I were gulping down our food while Susan went to the
hall closet and was putting on her coat.  We galloped downstairs still
munching our last bit of toast to brush our teeth.  Before going upstairs,
I grabbed two cheese cubes and handed one to Bryan.

"Here ya go Brutus," I said as I handed him my cube of cheese, "We won't be
long."

"Be a good boy Brutus and guard the house."  Bryan added as he gave Brutus
the other cube.  We walked through the kitchen, both of us taking a longing
look at the half-full coffee pot.

After I locked the front door, Susan, Mark, and Josh were already in the
back seat of the Jeep.  The trip to Cloverdale Mall was pretty quick;
traffic was light.  I parked in the same area as I had before.  This time,
there was no hesitation as we approach the bank, Susan chatted away about
where she needed to go first -- we had reached beyond the agony of that
incident.

We'd just got passed the mall entrance gabbing about where each of us were
going to go and where we'd meet later on, when Josh yelled, "HEY!  CADET
BROWN!"  Then he took off at a fevered pace towards the young teenager that
I now recognized from the Air Cadets.

"Hey there bud, how are you doing?"  Josh asked smiling as the rest of us
caught up to him.

"Cadet... Cadet Chambers right?" the boy answered nervously.

"Yeah, that's right!  Josh Chambers.  So did you have a good Christmas?"

"Well.... yeah.... this is my mom.... we were just here to do a bit of
shopping."

"How do you do Mrs. Brown," Josh said still smiling.  "This is my mom."

"Susan," Susan said smiling as she shook hands with Mrs. Brown.

""Ethel," she replied quite hesitantly as she seemed to wince from Susan's
grip which I thought unusual as I quickly took in the whole picture of this
lady.  She was wearing dark tinted glasses, but I could see the edges of
bruises that the glasses didn't hide.  Other than that, she was neatly
groomed and her clothes were neat, fashionable, and clean.

"And you know my Dad... Tom right?"  Josh said as a matter of introduction.

I reached out and took the boys hand in mine.  I didn't put any squeeze to
my grip because I felt, then saw a bandage on his hand.

"How are you doing Cadet... it's good to see you again."

"Good to see you too.... it's... uh... Kevin."  He said.  I saw the look of
a forlorn frightened boy.  I knew there were problems because I'd seen this
a few times with homesick and troubled boys when I was a counsellor at
summer camp.

"Call me Tom.... this is my partner Bryan and his brother Mark.  They're
here from Calgary for Christmas break."

"Hi there Kevin," Mark said smiling, "I'm in the cadets too.  I really like
it."

"Good to meet you Kevin," Bryan said as he reached out with his hand, but
like me he noticed the bandages, so it was more of a touch than a grip.

"Kevin, how are things going....," I asked, "with the problem we talked
about?"

"Uh.... Mom doesn't know...." he said quietly biting his lip.  "Things have
changed."

"Kevin," Ethel said softly, "What don't I know?"  I tried to assess her
demeanor objectively, yet with the background I knew from our discussion
with Kevin at the Air Cadets, I still really felt this was an emotionally
tired lady about the same age as Susan.  I glanced quickly at our group.
Susan, Bryan, Mark, and Josh had a concerned look.  I caught Susan's subtle
nod.

"Ethel, at our last Air Cadet meeting, Kevin confided in me that your
husband was a police officer and was having a rough time of it.  All of us
here have had some pretty tough times with.... alcoholics in our lives and
I think we could help.  Could we go over to that restaurant over there, sit
down and have a coffee.... maybe talk more about it."

Susan gingerly put her hand on Ethel's arm.  "Tom knows what he's talking
about Ethel.  You have everything to gain by listening to these boys."

"Please Mrs. Brown...," Josh said quietly, "Kevin's gotta know."

Ethel looked at each of us in turn and nervously nodded her head.  Right
away Susan smiled and hooked her arm under Ethel's and led the way to the
restaurant, followed by Josh and Kevin.  Josh was chatting up a storm about
the fun he had Christmas day with the snake present.

I quickly told Bryan and Mark the history of what happened with Kevin at
the Air Cadets.

"Well once he hears our story, maybe he won't feel so bad."  Bryan
commented.

"Yeah and I could tell him about the love of family that we share.  I'll
bet he could have that too," Mark said as we entered the restaurant.

Once we were seated in a semi-circular booth, Susan barely glanced at the
menu before she had her decision made.  Smiling wide, she said, "The mixed
fruit dish sounds good.  After yesterday's big dinner, it's just what I
need."

After everyone followed Susan's suggestion and we'd placed our order, all
eyes seemed to turn my way.

"Ethel, I've never known a police officer who didn't have good instincts
and strong principles," I began.  "I believe it's part of their training to
appear neutral, calm and cool headed regardless of the situation or
conflict they're faced with.  My dad was a cop and when he'd come home, he
turned off the activities that he'd endured through his shift and just
became my Dad.  He never brought his troubles home, at least not to my
brothers or me."  I paused and looked down at the table top.  "One morning
after the late shift, he didn't come home.  He'd been killed in the line of
duty."  I paused again and looked back up at Ethel.  "Judging from what I
see of you and Kevin this morning, you've been through a situation with
your husband, but I hope at least, he's still with you...."  Ethel nodded
her head nervously in confirmation.  "....so there's hope," I continued.

"Almost a year ago, I had to shoot a man.... a bank robber in order to
protect Josh and Mark... right here in this mall.... just over by the bank.
My instincts just cut in together with my military training and I did the
only thing I could have at that second in time, to save the lives of Mark,
Josh, and a bank teller.  Afterwards, I was devastated.... because of my
action.... a human life had been taken from this earth.  The depression and
sickly feelings together with the nightmares I had were overwhelming.  If
it wasn't for the psychiatric help that I received from the police and the
loving support of all my family, I might be in the same state as your
husband or worse.  I think without proper support and professional help,
there's no way out of the depression."

Ethel nodded her head slowly.  "Grant went to the police psychiatrist only
twice that I know of.  There was a lot of pressure at the time to get him
back on full duty because they were short handed.  I knew he was still
suffering, although he was very closed about his
feelings.... well.... maybe we made a mistake.... maybe we didn't fully
understand what he was going through..... maybe we retreated from his anger
at first instead of giving all the love we should have.  Maybe that became
a habit and as time went on.... maybe we failed him."

"Ethel.... Ethel, listen to me," Susan said firmly.  "You're blaming
yourself and none of the situation was your fault.  You were not at fault.
My husband was an abusive drunk, but I wouldn't take it.... when I divorced
him, Josh was five, I said good riddance.  He died just this last year.
Although they never had anything to do with each other, it was a difficult
adjustment for Josh.  Believe me, I'm not blaming myself for his actions
and in your case, you're not at fault either.... it sounds to me that maybe
the police department didn't follow up on your husband's treatment and they
should have."

I watched as Susan's point sunk into Ethel's subconscious.

"Ethel," Susan continued, "it's obvious that he physically hurt you.... you
don't have to answer this, but how often...."

Ethel shook her head slowly.  Grim faced, she said, "Just once.... the day
before Christmas Eve.  Kevin and I were just putting the final touches to
the Christmas tree.... I thought Grant would be pleased..... he always
loved our Christmases together.... he came in, he'd been at the bar
drinking.... he saw the tree and became very angry.... started yelling at
me about how there would be no Christmas this year... then he took a swat
at me and Kevin jumped in between us and started punching Grant in the
stomach... the glass ornament he had in his hand was crushed and his hand
was bleeding.  Grant just took the back of his hand to Kevin and he went
flying against the Christmas tree.... it was demolished.  I turned to help
Kevin and he swatted me again.  He cursed us and left the living room.... I
heard the bedroom door slam.  Then I lost consciousness."

Ethel started to weep.  When she wiped her eyes, although she looked down,
she removed her glasses -- our brief glimpse of her battered eyes spoke
volumes of the horror she'd endured.

"I was scared," Kevin said, his lip trembling.  "I saw Mom laying on the
floor and ran to the phone and dialed 911.  When I told the operator what
happened, she said an ambulance and the police were on their way.  I went
to Mom, I thought she was dead.  She came to just as the cops came in the
front door and I thought they aren't going to do anything.... you
know.... the code that the police have between themselves....  don't rat on
a fellow officer.... all that crap.... I even wondered if they'd turn the
tables on us and say it was all our fault.  One cop stayed with Mom and I,
and the other one went to the bedroom when I told him where Dad was.  Then
the medics came in.  One of them examined Mom and asked a bunch of
questions, the other one took me to the kitchen sink and cleaned all the
glass out of my hand and bandaged it.  Oh God, that hurt.  When I came back
into the living room, the two cops were together in the corner talking
between themselves.... I couldn't hear what they were saying, but I knew it
wasn't good."

While Kevin was talking, I started to think about Darren.  What light, if
any, could he shed on this matter to reassure Kevin and his mom that any
law enforcement officer would always be seeking justice in any case,
whether it involved another officer or not.

"My father was a drunk and he beat me," Mark said quietly, "I had no one to
help.  If it wasn't for Josh and Tom he might have killed me."

Equally solemn, Bryan added, "It all started after our Mom died.... the
drinking I mean.  He used beat on me too, but I was older and finally after
about three years, he kicked me out of the house and I moved to Calgary.  I
had no idea that he was beating on Mark after I left.  Tom worked some real
magic for us and got our father to sign custody of Mark over to me.  He
died recently.... I.... couldn't have cared less."

"Looking at the bright side, you're kind of lucky Mrs. Brown," Josh said,
"You and Kevin still have each other."

"Well," Ethel began with a wan smile, "it isn't without hope Josh.  The
medic that went into the bedroom determined that Grant was way over the
limit.... passed out and actually toxic was what he said.  They took him to
the hospital, I guess.  That night we were exhausted and relieved after the
police and medics left.  The next morning, another uniformed officer and a
plain clothes officer came to see us unannounced.  The plain clothes
officer was off duty.  Over coffee, he talked to us about many aspects of
alcoholism; that he was an alcoholic and lives by the twelve-part program
of Alcoholic Anonymous.  He explained how insidious it was, and how it
could take over a person's life.  Not really anything I didn't know
already, but then he went on to tell us about the support that Kevin and I
could get from Al-Anon and Al-Teen.  He also said that we would learn how
to deal with Grant.  The other officer said that Grant would be kept in
detox for a week, then it would be mandatory, if he wanted to keep his job,
to go into a rehab program for six weeks.  Unfortunately, we can't visit
him while he's in the detox centre, however once he's settled into the
rehab centre, we'll be able to visit him and let him know that we still
support him.  We're keeping our fingers crossed that he joins the AA and
stays sober."

Just then, our fruit salads came and I excused myself to make a call.  Out
in the mall, I dialed Darren's number.

He answered on the second ring.  "This had better be Tom Davis or my
phone's gone wonky!"

I laughed at that.  "Yes Darren it's Tom.  Can you tell me anything about
an officer.... Grant Brown, wife Ethel?"

"Scuttlebutt has it that he's an alcoholic and came home a few days ago and
beat his wife and kid.... now the department has him in detox.  I don't
know him personally."

"Darren, I'm calling about their son.... he's one of the cadets that I
teach at Air Cadets.  He seems to have developed a mistrust toward the
cops.... kinda like the code of secrecy always to protect their own at any
cost.  I was wondering if sometime you could have a little fatherly talk
with him.... let him know that you're there to serve and protect the public
first and then each other.  You know what I mean?"

"You're talking about the old Code of Blue.  Hey, what's all that noisy
echo I hear on the line?"

"Oh I'm in the Cloverdale Mall and there's a lot of foot traffic going by.
I just stepped out of the restaurant to give you a call.... we're having a
bite to eat with Ethel and Kevin right now."  I answered.

"Near the bank entrance, right?"

"Yeah.... I-"

"Tom, look to your right," Darren said laughing.

I squinted through the crowd and then spotted Darren, in uniform, walking
briskly toward me, a big smile on his face with his cell phone to his ear.
I closed my cell phone and put it in my pocket.  I really wanted to give
him a hug, but we settled for a smiling hand shake.

"How was Christmas?"  He asked.

"The best I've ever had," I answered.  "I even think Dad was there.  Have
you got time to talk to Kevin right now?"

"Yes I do... I was just here to give mall security the low down about a
vagrant that's been causing some trouble.... and the presence of the
uniform around here keeps the mobs in line while they grab each other's
bargains.  Light duty day.  My partner's on patrol at the other end."

While we entered the restaurant and made our way to the booth, I quickly
refreshed the events of what happened at the Brown household and my
concerns about Kevin had said about the Code of Silence.

As soon as we were close enough, I heard some happy chatter from the table
and it made me feel better about the situation.  Josh looked up at us and
shouted, "DARREN!"  He quickly hip-shunted Mark and Bryan out of the booth
and instead of offering to shake his hand, just enveloped Darren in a big
hug.  The uniform didn't faze him at all.

Before I had a chance to introduce Darren to Ethel and Kevin, Bryan reached
over and grabbed Darren's hand.  "Darren, I can't thank you enough for all
the help you gave us with our father.  I would have been lost without your
help."

"Bryan, I'm always proud to serve you and this Star of Courage family.  All
I did for you was something that happens in many cities in this country.
It's was no biggy."

Our server then arrived and put another cup of coffee on the table for
Darren as we sat down.  Before I tackled my fruit salad, I introduced
Ethel, then Kevin.

As a matter of introduction to what I hoped Darren would speak to Kevin
about, I said, "Kevin, Officer Higgins was my Dad's partner.... he was
there when my Dad was shot.  You said something before about the code that
the police have between themselves and it sounded to me that you didn't
trust them.  Even as a cadet, I know you've pledged an allegiance to our
country and you understand the principles that the pledge includes, but I
think you should understand that a similar set of ethics apply to all
police officers as well."

"Kevin, Mrs. Brown.... Ethel....," Darren began, "first of all I'd like to
apologize on behalf of the department for everything that's happened since
the day Grant had to shoot that perpetrator.  The department really dropped
the ball on this case.  We are fortunate, if you can call it that, that
Grant was able to keep his mode of coping with his anguish to the
consumption of alcohol.... there was no heavy or illegal drugs
involved.... and THAT has happened in other cases.  I don't know
Grant.... he works out of a different unit than me.  Kevin, I can assume
that his partner knew something about your Dad's anguish and how he was
dealing with it.... and unfortunately he remained silent.  In his defense
however, I can say that maybe he didn't realize the depth of Grant's
problem.... we may never know the truth about that.  I think what you and
Tommy were referring to was the `Code Blue of Silence'."

Darren took a deep breath and released a long sigh.  "When an officer's
back is exposed during a lethal force or other dangerous situation, this
officer needs to know that his partner, his backup, can be counted on to
defend him to the death."  Darren looked at me with a sadness I'd never
seen before while he spoke those words.

"That creates a very strong bond between partners on the force.... to the
point where an officer will overlook any infraction of another officer,
however, police officers are in the business of honesty.  This is their
stock-in-trade, forté, signature, persona, identification and what
differentiates them from other professions.  This text book ethics stuff is
all well and good, but what happens in real life when a sworn police
officer witnesses a fellow officer violate the law?  Does he arrest the
offender?  Tattle-tale to the supervisor?  Adhere to the `code of blue
silence'?"  The answer once was: "It depends on the infraction."  If the
violation wasn't something major, like a class A felony, and the public
hadn't witnessed it, then it was kept quiet or it was left up to a ranking
officer.  Problem was, just where do you draw the line?  What infractions
are reportable?  Petty theft? Perjury?  DUI?  Violating a citizen's civil
rights because he spit on you?  Turning your back, averting your eyes, not
volunteering information are all acts of cowardice when you reflect them in
front of the words `honesty' and `justice'.

"When it comes to police deviance there are two factors that determine the
level of compliance: Peer pressure and trust.  Peer pressure is something
you experience in grade school, to dress right, act right to fit in with a
certain group of friends, but that peer pressure is reprehensible when
practiced by trained, sworn police officers who, by their very job
description, are individuals.  An adult person who's compelled to go along
with the illegal activities of others of his group, is not qualified to
wear a badge.  It's one thing for a bunch of civilians to sneak off the
work detail for a beer or any other reason, but an entirely different
matter for professional, armed, officers to do the same.

"The only sure method of determining trust by reliance is the oldest
application of trial by fire.  On the other hand, an officer who is known
for his unquestioning honesty, would be the type of officer who couldn't
honestly not-take-risks to cover your backside.

"When one police officer violates this trust, this code of honesty, all of
us are tarnished.  Adherence to or practice of any form of the "blue code
of silence" is counter to the code of honesty that is part of each
officer's sworn duty.... his existence for being.  The trust each officer
has in his fellow officer must be based on the proposition that truth, not
cover-up or silence, that will save his career.  For a police officer or
anyone with sworn obligations, justice is more important than his bond of
friendship.

"Kevin, having said that, I know that if the media get hold of this story,
the truth will be told and you, your Mom, or your Dad should not have any
guilt or remorse about it.  The shame of this situation totally rests with
the department."

Kevin slowly nodded his head.  "Thanks Officer Higgins, I appreciate it,
but at the time, I was really scared.... you know, with Dad being a cop and
the other two cops there and they weren't saying anything to us that helped
how we felt.... I could only think that Mom and I would be on the chopping
block."

"Kevin, the officers had to assess the situation... first they had a fellow
officer whose life was in danger and they also had to see that justice was
done for both of you.  It was a difficult situation for them to be in.  In
the end, for the situation at that time, they made all the right choices.
Your Dad is going to get well and your wounds are going to heal.  Together
with your support, the department will see to it."

Just then, Darren's collar mike squawked and he had to leave with a blast
of `thank yous' following him from our table.

Ethel sported a confident smile -- she had a beautiful smile and I was glad
to see it.  "I really feel better for having spoken with all of you and I
really do appreciate that you took the time to speak with us.  It's really
helped.  However, Kevin and I came here to get a bargain on a new Christmas
tree and decorations, so WE HAVE TO GET SHOPPING!"

"HEY there's a girl after my own heart!"  Susan exclaimed.  "Boys, you're
on your own.  Keep your cell phones on because Ethel and I will be
calling."

"Mom, can I go with Josh and the guys?"  Kevin asked.

"I think that would be a good idea, if the fellows don't mind....  I doubt
you would enjoy the places that Susan and I are going to shop at."

"No problem Ethel," Bryan said smiling.  "We'll take good care of him."

Our server then handed Bryan the bill, but Ethel immediately grabbed it out
of his hand.  Again with her winning smile, she said, "Not today Bryan.
This one's mine."

We were left there at the entrance to the restaurant, a bit dumbfounded,
shaking our heads as we watched Susan and Ethel march quickly through the
crowds to destinations unknown.

"GT SNOW RACER!"  Josh exclaimed.

After consulting with the mall's map and store index, we decided that Sears
might be our best bet.  While Bryan and I followed the boy's through the
mall, I enjoyed the banter they had together -- Josh telling Kevin his
story of how he lost his Racer in the Etobicoke Creek -- Mark telling him
of all the fun he was having in Calgary at the cadets and his ambitions to
be a pilot.  For his part, Kevin was meeting our boys' enthusiasm at an
equal level.  It felt good to see him happy, smiling, and laughing with
Josh and Mark -- a far cry from what we'd seen when we first met them at
the entrance earlier that morning.

Bryan wouldn't accept any argument from Kevin when he ended up buying him a
GT Snow Racer as well as the one I bought for Josh to replace his old one.
We ended up loading both sleds into the Jeep because we had made a date
with Kevin to take him to Centennial Park on Thursday with us.  Then we
waited for a call from Susan while we explored some of the other stores.
It was 2:30 before we got the call to meet Susan at the bank entrance.

As soon as we arrived, we saw Susan standing there with a shopping cart
filled to the brim.  In part, it was several plastic stackable storage
containers that she wanted to store all the new Christmas decorations in, a
lot of wrapping paper, and several shopping bags filled with clothes.

"Here," she said, "take this load to the Jeep and then come right back.  We
have another load for Ethel's car.  She'll be here in a minute."

Duty bound, Josh, Bryan and I completed the chore of filling the back of
the Jeep with all of Susan's goodies.  Actually we were pleased -- she'd
spent most of her gift certificate on things that she wanted for her
personal use.

When we returned to the bank entrance inside the mall, we were shocked by
the sight of two more shopping carts filled to the brim.  A Christmas tree
and many decorations took up one cart and the other filled to the brim with
shopping bags.  The biggest surprise of all was Ethel, standing there
smiling; her dark tinted glasses were gone, and all evidence of bruising
had been covered with makeup.

"Well, what do you think?"  Susan beamed, pointing to Ethel.

"Stunning!  Absolutely stunning!"  Bryan remarked.

"I'm amazed!"  I said honestly.

"UNBELIEVABLE!"  Josh exclaimed, his mouth wide open in awe.

"You're beautiful Mrs. Brown," Mark said, "How did you do it?"

"A little makeup and Susan's magic touch."  Ethel replied with an unending
smile.

As we trundled the shopping carts to Ethel's minivan, she expressed her
undying gratitude to Susan and us for boosting her spirits.  She couldn't
ever remember having had such fun shopping.  For sure, her gratitude warmed
our hearts as we said goodbye and made our way over to the Jeep.

When we got home, Bryan was the first to jump out of the Jeep and head for
the house empty handed.  He turned sharply half way through the garage.
"I'm sorry guys, all that stuff is yours to deal with.  I've got a date
with a turkey carcass.... tomorrow is soup day!"

We all had a giggle at that and waved him on as we tackled the shopping
bags in the back of the Jeep.  Josh and I handled the storage containers,
putting the lids on each one of them and organizing them onto the shelves
in the garage.  Meanwhile, Mark helped Susan with the bags and bags of
Susan's `stuff', and left the wrapping paper and other Christmas things for
us to put into one of the containers.

In addition to all the preparations Bryan had for the soup, he'd prepared
each of us a plate of Christmas dinner leftovers, for which we were
eternally grateful.  When we sat down to the kitchen table, we all let out
a big, long tired sigh.  Each of us agreed that we were exhausted after
such a long day.

However, after we'd cleaned up the supper dishes and retired to my
apartment to watch some meaningless commercial TV, we found out that Brutus
had had a boring day and he was full of piss and vinegar.  He started by
wiggling himself between Bryan and I, then just rest his head on my thigh,
look up at me expectantly, and give me a low happy growl.  I gave him a pat
on the head and praised him for being a good boy.  Then he backed off,
walked over in front of the TV, quickly turned around a couple of times,
dropped to the floor and played dead on his back.

"Do you think we should Mark?"  Josh asked out of the blue.

Mark let out a heavy sigh.  "Yeah, I guess we should.  I'll go get our
gloves."

"Yeah.... and ask Mom to come down too," Josh added.

Bryan and I look questioningly at each other, wondering what the boys were
up to.  Mark came back down stairs with Susan and handed Josh his gloves
and we watched as the boys silently as they put them on.

"When we had Brutus out for our walk yesterday, we were at the little park
at the top of the street.  There was no one around, so I let Brutus of his
lead.  He was walking a few paces ahead of us and now we're going to show
you what happened.  Are you ready Mark?"

"Yeah."  For sure, our curiosity was piqued.

"I hope Brutus does it the same as he did yesterday.  I think it's
important that you don't interrupt him... please just watch and be quiet."

Susan, Bryan, and I were perplexed, smiling at one another as Josh built up
the suspense.

The boys stood about two feet apart facing us, while Brutus was standing
about two feet in front of him.  Josh pointed his finger at Brutus, his
thumb cocked like a gun and said, "Hey Brutus! Play dead!"

Brutus turned around and looked at Josh.  Josh said, "Bang!" -- and cocked
his thumb.  Immediately Brutus did the predictable and flopped down on his
back motionless.  Nothing unusual about that.  We'd seen it a dozen times
before.

Then in the next second, Mark turned to Josh, pointed his finger toward
Josh with his thumb cocked and said with a giggle, "Hey Josh!  Play dead!"
Josh looked at Mark, but before Mark could say `bang' or move his cocked
thumb, Brutus was on his feet, jumped up and grabbed Mark's `gun' hand --
not viciously -- his jaw was chattering as he whimpered with a gentle grip
on Mark's hand.  I was astounded.  Josh held up his hand to us, indicating
that we weren't to interfere.

"Brutus," Josh said firmly as he got down on his knees, "Back off.  Come're
boy."  Right away Brutus obeyed, let go of Mark's wrist, and went over to
Josh, who started to praise him and ruffle his fur all over.  "Good Boy!"
Brutus was quick with his tongue bath as he soaked up the praise.

"Hey Brutus," Mark called from the other side of the room, as he too knelt
down, "Come're boy."  Suddenly Brutus was his happy playful self as he ran
over to Mark, who still had his gloves on.  "It's OK Brutus, you didn't
hurt me at all."  Mark too was treated to a tongue bath as he praised and
held Brutus.  There were no hard feelings by either of them.

"Dad, that's exactly what happened in the park."  Josh said as he sat
cross-legged on the floor.  "At first Mark and I thought it was great that
Brutus knew enough to protect me like that, but on the way home, we talked
about what if it was one of the twins that innocently pointed their finger
at someone.  That kinda scared us and we decided that the `play dead' trick
wasn't something we could fool around with anymore."

Bryan got off the sofa and sat down on the floor cross-legged and said,
"Come're Brutus."  Happy to obey, Brutus came over for more praise, which
he got from Bryan.  With his one arm around Brutus, he pointed to Josh,
without his thumb cocked.  "Go get Josh!" he said quickly.  Immediately,
Brutus wriggled out of Bryan's arm hold and ran over to Josh to get more
happy praise.

Not to be excluded, Susan and I slipped onto the floor and we all started a
foray of directing Brutus from one side of the room to the other as we
pointed to one another, each of us in turn giving him all the praise he
craved.  Then I started to test him.  I pointed to Josh, but I said, "Go
get Susan!"

He started going toward Josh, but then doubled back and went over to Susan
who of course, praised him heartily.  We did that a couple of times and he
didn't get confused after the third time.  He knew who we were.

Then Bryan put him to the test again.  While Josh was praising Brutus,
Bryan pointed with his cocked thumb at Mark and said, "Play dead Mark."
The reaction was immediate.  Brutus jerked his head around and was right
over to Bryan gently holding his wrist.  Bryan nodded at me.

"Brutus, back off," I said calmly.  Exactly as with Josh and Mark, Brutus
let go of his gentle hold on Bryan's wrist and came over to me and sat, his
tail wagging and a face full of expectation.  For sure, I was generous with
my praise.  I simply pointed and said, Get Bryan."  As expected, Brutus
went over to Bryan and got a lot of praise while he gave Bryan a tongue
bath.  Happily, we were back to square one again.

Susan yawned and stood up.  Naturally all of us had to yawn because of the
power of suggestion.  "Fellas, Josh is right.  We can point, but we can't
cock our thumbs.  Let's not ever use the `play dead' thing again, maybe in
time, he'll forget about it.  I don't want anything stupid to happen.  Now
it's been a busy day and I'm ready for bed.  Judging from all your nodding
heads, I think we all are.  Isn't that right Brutus?"

It was an immediate reaction for all of us.  As we sat on the floor, the
four of us plus Brutus looked up at Susan and said together, "Woooof!"

"We gotcha Mom," Josh said as he and Mark stood and followed Susan up the
stair laughing.  By the time we tucked the boys in for the night, let
Brutus in after doing his business, and gave him a cheese cube, Bryan and I
were able to tiredly squirrel our bodies into bed.

With his arm around me, Brian said with a yawn, "It turned out to be a
beautiful day."

"Yes it did Bry," I answered as I closed my eyes and rested my hand on his
chest hair, then almost incoherently, I whispered, "....and I'm still in
love with you."  I only had a moment to listen to him gently snore before I
joined him.

The next morning it happened again around six-thirty.  Up for a pee, attend
to Brutus, and then back into the comfort of Bryan's arms allowing the
sleep to overtake me again.

When I woke again, Bryan and I were in the same position as we had been
almost twelve hours before.  I'd just flicked my eyes, when I heard Bryan
whisper, "I'm in love with you too."  He nuzzled his cheek over my hair.

"You heard me?  I whispered.

"Yup," he chuckled.  "I always sleep with one ear open."

I'd thought of getting up, brushing my teeth, and having an intimate body
engagement with Bryan, but then I realized as I looked at the clock, that
our privacy might be interrupted.  Instead, I settled for kissing his
stubbled cheek.

"This is our lazy day Bryan," I said as I propped my head on my elbow.
"I'd like to stay here all day with you, but I'm getting hungry."

His stomach let out a little gurgle and we laughed.  We did brush our teeth
and splash some water on our faces before we put on some sweats and went
upstairs to check on the rest of the household.

Susan was up, sitting at the kitchen table reading.  We mumbled our `good
mornings' as we desperately poured coffee and got a few swallows down.
Then Josh and Mark joined us.  A lazy day had started and our lazy
breakfast was bowls of cold cereals -- mostly Captain Crunch.

It wasn't long before Josh and Mark were discussing what they should do for
the rest of the day.  Susan picked up on their slightly bored attitude and
told them it was time to put the dining room table back to it's regular
size.  While Bryan and Susan went about their duties to put the final
additions to the ten litres of turkey soup, I decided that I'd join the
boys with their task.

Although there was only the fancy tablecloth and a large centerpiece on the
table, I still able to visualize the eleven of us enjoying the feast and
love that had happened at the table on Christmas day.  Josh and Mark stood
there with me staring at it for a moment as well.  I put my arms around
them.

"I had a lot of great Christmases when I was growing up, but this one was
the greatest."  I said looking at the table.

"It WAS the best."  Josh remarked.

Mark gently shrugged his shoulder and shook his head slowly.  "I've never
had an experience like that before."

With a deep sigh, we tackled the job.  Actually, once I'd carefully lifted
off the centerpiece the moment was gone, but the memory of that unique
Christmas dinner would always remain vivid in our minds for years to come.
Once we had the leaves out and the table back to its regular size, Susan
took over and did her thing with the doily and the centerpiece.  Life was
good again.

While the boys went to Josh's room to play video games, Susan, Bryan, and I
reminisced about how hopeful we were about Ethel and Kevin Brown's future.
Susan went into some pretty vivid descriptions of her shopping trip with
Ethel and all the fun they had with her makeup.

By two o'clock, we were sitting down to a late lunch of hot turkey soup and
fresh bread and butter.  It was delicious and so filling with all the
vegetables that Bryan had added.  It was a very balanced meal in itself.
Bryan was happy to soak up all the praise of his culinary skills.  His
pride was justified.

My day ended as it had begun -- in bed with Bryan -- expressing a deep
expression of our love for one another.  It was more than just physical --
more than emotional -- at the time, I felt it was the most beautiful
experience I'd ever known on this plane of life.

Our day with Kevin started at 9:30 the next morning when we greeted him and
Ethel at the front door.

Right away, Kevin was taken with Brutus.  Josh was very deliberate when he
introduced Brutus to Kevin -- announcing Kevin's name as he pointed to him.
Brutus understood immediately as he stood in front of Kevin wagging his
tail.  Cautiously, Brutus went up to Kevin's bandaged hand and sniffed it
carefully, before giving it a tender lick.  Then Josh repeated the same
procedure with Ethel.  She appeared a little withdrawn from the sight of
Brutus as he walked over to her and offered his paw.

"I promise he won't hurt you Ethel," Susan said, "I felt a little bit like
you when I first met him."  When Ethel finally accepted his paw, he gave
her hand a slight lick, cocked his head from side to side and walked over
to Kevin.

Our day at the hill was an experience to behold.  The temperature had
moderated slightly and we stayed quite warm.  After Josh's little accident
someone had put up a plastic fence with a big pile of loose hay bales at
the end of the run to prevent any more excursions in the Etobicoke Creek.
Naturally, each of us had a chance to test its stopping ability.  The main
thing for Bryan and I was the boys, especially Kevin; they were having fun
on the hill and with Brutus.

By the time we got home, we were bushed and hungry.  Right away, once Kevin
had his coat off, he was playing with Brutus.  Brutus was the perfect host
to anyone who would romp and play with him.

After Susan and Ethel had served us a bowl of turkey soup with some buns,
Kevin, Josh, and Mark sat on the floor at Brutus' level.  Surprisingly,
Brutus was constantly aware of Kevin's bandaged hand and always went to
nudge his good hand when he wanted to roughhouse with him.

At one point, Brutus pretended to be distracted and went over to his water
bowl and lapped at it a couple of times.  When he returned to the boys,
Brutus lay at Kevin's feet while the boys bantered back and forth about the
fun they'd had at the park.  I think I was the only one who noticed Brutus'
stealth as he gingerly took the toe of Kevin's bulky sock between his teeth
and started pulling.  He'd never done that with any of us before.  As soon
as he had a few inches pulled from Kevin's toe, he started to shake Kevin's
foot back and forth.  To everyone's delight, Brutus was just being a big
puppy again.

"Mom, I'd really like to have a dog," Kevin said once he retrieved his sock
from Brutus.

Ethel didn't answer him right away, but she was smiling.  Finally she said,
"Kevin, I think you're right, but we have to consider your Dad.  You and I
have to give him a lot of love and support over the next year and we don't
want anything to interfere with that.  However, if he realizes that a dog
would give him a lot of love as well, it may be the additional distraction
and support we need to get him over the bad moments he may be having from
time to time.  How about if we wait until he's near the end of his stint at
the rehab centre before we bring it up?"

"Ethel, your logic is right on!"  Bryan said.

"Well, I've been doing a lot of reading and Susan and I have had all day to
talk about it.  I think we analyzed the problem pretty well and I'm
hopeful."

Kevin smiled, "It would be good to be able to do things with Dad again."

Ethel and Kevin left shortly after that leaving the five of us with the
same hope they were clinging to.

That evening Bryan, Mark, Josh, and I retreated to my apartment to have
some dad and son time together while Susan said she wanted to spend some
last moments with the Christmas tree.  We thought she was having a
melancholy moment or something that women sometimes do, but what do we know
about those moods.

By 9:30 the movie was over, the popcorn was finished and we sat there
quietly.

"It's going to be New Years Eve soon," Mark said quietly, "our holiday is
almost over."

"It will never be over Mark," Josh said, "we'll always have it in our
memories and the great thing is, we get to do it all over again in a year."

"Sooner than that though boys," I added, "We have Spring Break to look
forward to in a few months and it's our turn to do the traveling.  Josh and
I will be seeing you and Bryan in Calgary for ten days."

"Hey that's right!"  Mark's mood changed immediately.

I looked at Mark with a slight grin on my face, wondering what miracles
were in store for him in the next year.  When he looked my way and saw me
staring at him, he asked, "What?  My fly undone or something?"

I smiled, not to tease him, but to ask the question honestly.  "Michael?"

Mark returned my smile.  "Tommy, he's special.  We think, but we don't know
for sure if it's really love.  He likes to run, he's a good soccer player
and he's really smart."

Right away I did had a quick head jerk as I looked at Bryan.  He started to
giggle.  Mark's head twisted from side to side as he glared from Bryan to
me, then back again.

"WELL HE IS!"  He finally said exasperated.  "What I like about him most,
is that he thinks like us.  He's not like the rest of the kids.... you
know.... `me, me, me' almost all the time."  He glared at Bryan.  "What's
so funny?"

Bryan pulled Mark into a hug.  "Little brother, don't be so modest.  In my
eyes, no one is as smart as you."

Mark smiled.  "Bryan, you're my brother, but thanks for being my Dad."

Bryan kissed his forehead.  "Mark, believe me, it's my pleasure.  Your
going to a fine man one day and I'll always be very proud of you.  I just
hope that Michael makes you as happy as Tom has made me and Shelley has
made Josh."

"I'll second that bro," Josh said.

"Now let's get to bed early and see what trouble we can get into tomorrow."
Bryan said.  I had to agree -- all that activity at the park had worn me
out.

On Friday, Bryan and Mark took the tree down, showing Susan the techniques
they used when they were decorating it.  Susan was lapping it all up while
Josh and I just shook our heads, deliberately making a nuisance of
ourselves as we shunted the storage containers from place to and place in
the living room.  That artsy part of domestic life just wasn't a part of
our make up.  All of us made it fun in spite of the feelings that the
Christmas season was indeed coming to an end for all of us.

Saturday, Sunday, and Monday we reserved as days of relaxation and rest.
Even the boys had a nap on Monday after lunch.

That evening Josh and I watched Bryan and Mark as they packed their
suitcases.  It was New Years Eve and we knew it was going to be a late
night.  Bryan and Mark had a flight at one in the afternoon on New Years
Day and the following day it was back to work for Bryan and back to school
for Mark, Josh and me.

Last year, Josh and I had spent a quiet New Years at home.  I'd just been
released from the hospital and neither one of us felt like going out and
doing anything.  This year would be different.  Both Bryan and I had
previously been to the "First Night" celebrations in downtown Toronto but
neither of the boys had been.  We decided to brave the cold and head down.
The subway is free on New Year's Eve so we decided to park the Jeep and
ride the train into the city instead.

We left the house at about 8PM just as Susan was heading to her friend's
house for a New Year's Party.  We made surprisingly good time and we
arrived at Nathan Phillips Square by around 9PM.

The crowd was already enormous.  The skating rink in front of city hall was
in full use and there were all kinds of police officers on horseback.  The
stage was lit up like a Christmas tree and a local band was busy performing
a decent cover of "Life is a Highway" by Tom Cochrane.

"You guys want something hot to drink?"  Bryan asked.

"I could use a coffee" I replied.

"Hot chocolate for me please," Josh replied.

"Same here," added Mark.

Bryan went to the concession stand and purchased our drinks.  A moment
later, he returned with a tray containing four large steaming hot cups.
The four of us then headed to what we decided was the perfect spot to watch
the festivities.

For the next few hours a string of local bands performed and an array of
local television personalities made appearances on stage.  As midnight
approached, the excitement in the crowd began to build.  To the right side
of the stage was a large countdown clock that was counting down the minutes
and seconds until the arrival of 2001.  At the centre of the stage, behind
the band, was a large gong.

It was a very clear and chilly night, but between the coffee and the crowds
and the constant shuffling of our feet, we managed to stay reasonably warm.

At around 11:45PM, Larry Gowan, the headliner for the night made his
appearance.  He performed "Strange Animal" and "Criminal Mind" and finished
with less than two minutes to go before midnight.  As the clock ticked down
the last 30 seconds of what had been a banner year for our family, the four
of us stood with our arms around each other and counted down the last 10
seconds with the crowd.

At the stroke of midnight, the bell tower in Old City Hall began to chime
and a guy on stage began to bang the gong.  An impressive display of
fireworks was set off from the top of the stage as well.  The night sky was
lit up like a million galaxies.  The noise of the crowd was a constant
roar.  Gowan and the others on the stage began to sing "Auld Lang Syne".
The four of us got caught up in the moment and joined in.

To close out the festivities, Gowan did a fantastic cover of John Lennon's
"Imagine" which also had the whole crowd joining in.

As I listened to the song, I imagined the possibilities that lay ahead for
our family.  I looked lovingly at Josh and imagined what was in his future
and the impact that he was sure to have on the world.  I glanced at Mark
and thought about how far he had come in the past year and how far I knew
he would go in this life.  Finally, I looked at Bryan and dreamed of the
life that we would share.  I looked up once again to the heavens above and
smiled contentedly knowing that all was well in our little world.

Saying goodbye to the most important part of our family at the airport was
full of teary emotions for the four of us.  The love and trust we had for
each other had really been reinforced over the last two weeks, but I knew
one day these farewells would end and the emptiness that Josh and I felt in
our guts would be filled again by another happiness that would grow beyond
our expectations.

Sometime through the night, Josh had slipped into my bed and I awoke the
next morning with him snuggled into my chest.  He had felt the emptiness
too.  As I lay there in the early morning light, I took a moment to simply
watch Josh sleep.  I could feel the thump of his heartbeat and watching the
slow rise and fall of his steady breathing was almost hypnotic.  It was
times like this that the love that I felt for my son burned brightest in my
heart.  I squeezed him gently and kissed the top of his head and I smiled
as I felt him squeeze me back.

I smiled as Brutus came padding into the room and climbed up on the bed.
He sniffed at Josh's face and gave him a brief puppy kiss and did the same
for me before lying down against my other side and rested his head on my
shoulder.  It was a truly perfect morning and I was determined to lie there
and enjoy it.

It wasn't that long before Josh too began to stir.  He stretched his arms
briefly before once again wrapping them around my chest and he opened his
eyes and smiled when he saw that I was awake.

"Morning Dad," he said sleepily.

"Morning son," I replied with a warm smile.  "Sleep well?"

"Always.  When I'm near you it's like I'm safe from the whole world," he
replied thoughtfully.  "I miss Mark and Bryan already."

"I do too kiddo," I replied.  "I'll bet Daisy will be glad to see them."

At the mention of his sister's name Brutus sat up and cocked his head from
side to side.

Josh reached out to pet him.  "I'll bet you miss your sister don't you
boy?"

Brutus let out a slight whine and tilted his head again as he listened to
Josh.

"Can we take him with us to Calgary in the spring?" Josh asked.

"I don't see why not," I replied.  "He might not like riding in a doggy
cage very much though."

"You may be right," Josh said thoughtfully.  "Besides, Mom says she feels
safer alone in the house with him here."

I gently rubbed Josh's back as I thought something over in my mind.

"Watcha thinking?"  Josh asked as he propped his chin on my chest and
looked at me.

"Lots of things," I replied.  "Good things about you, about all of us."

"I can't wait to see Shelly again too," Josh said.  "I'm glad that her
parents are going to bring her to Ottawa for when I get my Order of
Canada."

"I'm glad too," I said.  "You know, it's a black tie affair."

"I only have a blue tie, the one you gave me," Josh replied earnestly.

I chuckled.  "Black tie means you wear a tux," I replied.

"A tuxedo?  With a bow tie and one of those things that go around your
waist?"  Josh asked.

"A cummerbund," I replied.

"Yeah, one of those," Josh giggled.

"I guess we'll get you fitted.  A tux isn't something you wear often so
we'll be better off renting one.  At the rate that you're growing, we had
better wait as long as we can," I said.

Josh smiled.  "I'm almost as big as you are now," he replied.

"I know.  You're growing up fast kiddo.  You're going to be a lot taller
than me.  I think you'll be taller than me by the end of this year."

"Really?" Josh asked in a surprised voice.

"Really," I replied.  "Speaking of growing up.  There's something that I
wanted to talk to you about."

"Sure Dad," Josh replied.

"Remember that talk we had at Wasaga Beach?"

"I remember.  I'd have been pretty confused this past year without that
talk."

"I'm glad I was able to help," I said sincerely.  "Do you remember what I
said about condoms and safe sex?"

"Of course.  I remember what you said about the difference between love and
lust too," Josh said confidently.

"I'm glad.  Bryan had the same sort of talk with Mark as I had with you.
He gave him a bunch of condoms now that he has a boyfriend.  Mark's
probably not doing anything that would require them yet but it's always
good to be prepared."

"He said that they fooled around a bit.  You know jacked off together, each
other." Josh said.

"That's good.  Those are normal activities for boys.  I know you've told me
that you guys have done that to and it's perfectly fine."

"We did it a bit over Christmas," Josh said with a snicker.

"I'll bet you did.  Anyway my point is that I grabbed a box of condoms for
you too.  I know that Shelly is your girl, but you never know when the
little head might make you give into temptation at a party or something and
I want you to be ready."

"Thanks Dad.  Thanks for thinking about me.  I'm going to be faithful to
Shelly though.  Until we're both ready to have sex, neither of us is going
to have it with anyone else," Josh said firmly.

"You guys have talked about it?"  I asked a little surprised.

"Yeah we talked about it.  We agreed that we were a little too young now,
but we know that we'll be ready sooner or later.  We'll use them
eventually.  Thanks for buying them."

I smiled at Josh's maturity.  "You're welcome son.  No matter what you do
or who you do it with, just be safe.  Okay?"

"I promise," he replied and wrapped his arms around me again and hugged me
tightly.

I smiled and hugged my son tightly to my chest.  I knew he had a good head
on his shoulders and he was far more mature at 13 than I was.

"You know, I could have had sex if I had wanted to." Josh said
thoughtfully.

"I'm sure you could have.  You're a very good looking boy," I replied.

"A couple of girls at school asked me to but I said no.  One even offered
to give me a blow job in the bathroom at the Halloween dance!" Josh
laughed.

"Not many boys would have turned down those offers," I grinned.

Josh smiled and replied, "I said no because I'm like you.  I want real love
not lust.  I'm in love with Shelly and I can and will wait for her."

"I think you made a really wise decision Joshy," I replied firmly and then
added.  "Besides, it would have been awkward with that giant pumpkin outfit
on!"

"Now you're going to get it!" Josh laughed and he began mercilessly
tickling my sides.

Brutus jumped up and let out a few soft happy barks as he decided to join
in on our rough housing.  It never ceased to amaze me how gentle he could
be with his mouth.  He would grab our hands and arms in his mouth but he
never even left a mark.

After a while we both got up and took turns using my shower before dressing
for the day.  We were both heading back to class and as much as we enjoyed
being cuddled up together we couldn't be late.

After the conversation that I had had with Josh that morning, I found
myself starting 2001 doing something that I often found myself doing.  I
was marveling at the intelligence and maturity of that special and
endlessly loving boy who called me his Dad.

_________________________________________________________________