Date: Mon, 5 Dec 2005 10:19:33 -0800 (PST)
From: dante umbero <danteumbero@yahoo.com>
Subject: Summer Theater

This is a true story of the summer of 1977 when I was 17.  The names have
been changed to protect the criminal and innocent alike.  It is a story
of gay sex and a little love, if you are offended by such leave now.  If
not please continue and enjoy.
This story took place before AIDs, don't make love without a glove.
I should reiterate here that I was a minor at the time.  I realize now,
looking back 28 years that I was taken advantage of by a much older man.
I was a consenting party so the ethics are debatable.  The activity
however was and still is illegal.
Dante-

SUMMER THEATRE

Ms. Knox stopped me in the hall between classes.  She was the drama coach
and English teacher.  I'd appeared in three plays and a musical under
her direction and she considered me her star performer.

"Dan, I received a letter from a summer stock company in Northern Ohio,
that has an open audition for chorus players from state high schools.  I
think you should talk to your Mom about auditioning."  She said.

I looked at her and said, "Thanks, I'll ask her.  Do you really think I
could do summer stock?"

"If I didn't think you were up to it I wouldn't mention it.  It would
give you a taste of professional theater and help you decide if that's
what you want to pursue in college.  It will take up your summer vacation
though."  She said and smiled

I took the letter and shoved it in between the pages of my social studies
book and went on to class.

I guess here is a good time to fill in some background.  My name is Dan,
and I'm 16 turning 17.  I attend High School in a small town in central
Ohio.  I'm the class outcast.  Most of the jocks think I'm queer, most
of the nerds think I'm too radical.  I hang out with a couple other
losers and we hate school.  My dream is to somehow escape the misery
which is my life.  My Mom and Dad are divorced and I hate him for
marrying the neighbor and moving across the street.  I have an older
brother who terrorized my life constantly but he graduated last year and
moved out.  I'm 6' 8" tall, weight about 190 lbs and can't walk and
chew gum at the same time so Basketball isn't my strong suit, besides I
get harassed by the jocks so bad I would rather die than play ball with
them.  I have dark brown hair and blue eyes hidden behind aviator
glasses.  I generally make myself as scarce as possible most days, just
trying to keep my grades up so I can go to college and get out of this
town and my misery.

In all honesty looking back now, I don't doubt that most of my
classmates would have liked me if I had given them half a chance but by
this time I had been perpetually harassed at home by my brother and at
school by a core group of the "in" crowd, so I had thoroughly isolated
myself.

So with all this isolation how did I ever end up the star performer in
the class theatricals?  It was purely an accident.  I had been in chorus
and had a wonderfully clear tenor that with the advent of puberty had
deepened to a warm baritone.  So when the annual musical had been talked
about the music teacher, Mr. Marlow, had encouraged me to try out.  I had
landed the character role of an elderly roue in the "Boy Friend" and a
miracle happened on stage.  I became the character and all my
introversion dropped away.  Between my baritone and my natural timing and
penchant for fantasy arising from my isolation I was a hit.  The only
time I experienced acceptance in high school was when I walked onto a
stage.  A couple of dramas and another musical followed, I was winning
the drama awards each year and was becoming widely known in my small
community.  So when Ms. Knox gave me the letter and helped with the
application I was excited.  I had confided in her my desire to pursue
acting as a career and she had openly encouraged me.

My Mom was less than pleased but talked to my Dad and they agreed to
split the expense.  I got recommendations from the drama and music
teacher and sent in the application.  I found myself a few weeks later
making the trip up to the Cleveland suburbs for the auditions.  I
remember being embarrassed and feeling completely out of my league when
the pianist asked me what key I wanted my number in.  I had stammered
that the key as written would be fine.  I sang Fagan's solo from
"Oliver" which I had played that year.  A few weeks later I was
informed that I had a spot in the cast.

I don't know how familiar most folks are with summer stock, but the
company I joined had an eight week season and would do a repertoire of 4
productions, 2 dramas and 2 musicals each having a 2 week run.  I was in
for a summer of hard work, but more importantly I was in for a time of
discovery.

We were called summer apprentices; since we weren't Equity (union) cast
members.  We weren't paid but did have our living expenses provided
through a local University.  We lived in a dorm and ate on campus.  The
other "professional" cast members provided our transportation needs to
and from the theater which was situated in the rural farmland around the
town.  Each of us was assigned to a technician who helped us get a
glimpse of the backstage work and were paired with a performer to help us
with the on stage stuff.  For some reason known only to the coordinators
I was paired with Chris the costume designer and did my technical stuff
in the costume shop.  Initially I was appalled, as any 17 year old boy
would be, but as I got used to it I realized Chris was a wonderful
teacher and great person.  We worked 16 hour days most usually, during
the day we were rehearsing and doing the technical part of production,
which in my case meant fitting the mens costumes so that Chris could
alter them and later as the productions started stacking up I helped her
alter costumes also.  In the evening we were performing.  We did six
evening performances a week and a matinee on Sunday.

At lunch, originally we were driven back to campus but that soon proved
too unwieldy and the coordinator soon decided it was easier to bring box
lunches from campus out to us when she came each morning.  The lunches
were generally bland but filling, a sandwich, chips and a piece of fruit
with a soft drink to round it out.  Generally we ate in the theater or on
the grounds in the shade.  I was still a loner with the other
apprentices, Dewayne was my room mate but we soon learned we had almost
nothing in common.  He was fat and crude but had some talent on stage.
The others were nice and somewhat friendly but I was so use to being
isolated from my peers that I couldn't reach out to them.  The adults,
though were a different story.  I had made friends with the technical
director, who had occasionally designed sets for Broadway.  Of course
Chris who taught at the University and the music director.  I shadowed
them as much as possible.

Shortly after our routine became established I was eating lunch in the
theater when an oriental man about 30 years old sat down next to me and
asked, "Mind if I join you for lunch?"

I shrugged and said, "Sure, I'm Dan."

He stuck out his hand and said, "I'm Paul, Paul Korkuru."

I shook his hand and he settled next to me with his carton of yogurt and
diet soda.  "How do you like professional theater?"  He asked and
smiled.  He had lovely oriental skin  almost ivory in color and black
hair which he wore parted in the middle and feathered back along the
side.  His eyes were like black onyx and it was difficult to tell where
pupil and iris met unless you were very close and could see that actually
he had very dark brown eyes.  He had a small mustache and was physically
trim and in good shape from running.  He was wearing a t-shirt and jeans.

"I like it so far.  The pace is a lot faster than I'm use to."  I
said.

He smiled again and said, "Yes summer stock moves a lot faster than say
a theater performance that will have a longer run.  The box office is
busier also."

"Is that where you work?  I know I haven't seen you backstage or around
the musicians."  I asked.

He laughed, "Oh I'm not a performer.  I help with the books and the box
office.  I teach in the regular term." He said

"What do you teach?" I asked.

He smiled and looked at me in what I thought was a funny way and said,
"I can teach several things, but I teach Math at the University."  He
laughed at my sour expression, Math never being one of my favorite
topics.

The orchestra was tuning up for the afternoon rehearsals for "Carousel"
so I quickly put my trash in the cardboard box and stood up.  "Sorry to
run off and leave you but I've got a curtain call in a few minutes,
I've got to dance."  I said and must have frowned, because Paul laughed
"I take it you don't like to dance?"  He said through his laughter.

"Oh, dancing is OK, but they go so fast I end up feeling like a real
klutz and then I have to spend every spare second practicing."  I
sighed, "I'm just not very good at it."

He chuckled and wished me luck.  I headed backstage to use the restroom
and wash my hands.  I was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, standard day wear
for the cast and crew as the theater wasn't air conditioned.  It was
really just an outdoor amphitheater with a roof.  I put on my character
shoes, which looked like plain black dress shoes, but had taps that could
be attached.  I had thought I looked silly with shorts and black socks
and shoes but everyone else was wearing them also.

Dr. Helen Goetz was the Choreographer and "Madam" as we were instructed
to call her wasn't use to, nor appreciated that most of the apprentices
hadn't taken a lot of formal dance classes and in my case any at all.
Her instructions were rapid and almost unintelligible to me.  She spoke
with a clipped German accent and kept time counting out the music by
tapping an umbrella on the skirt of the thrust stage.  An example of her
style went something like... "Step left, two three, und lift und right
six, seven, eight."  I was soon fairly lost but kept plodding along.  We
practiced without lights so the house was clearly visible and I noticed
that Paul was still sitting where I had left him.  He had finished eating
and was writing something down on a pad of yellow paper.  The rehearsal
was endless, after Madam finished, it was time to practice the choral
numbers.  We went through the big show numbers, "June is Busting Out All
Over," `Clambake Across the Bay,"  "You'll Never Walk Alone."  This
was the part I could really get into.  I understood choral singing and
managed that part without a real effort.  I noticed that Paul left when
we started singing.

Between tunes me and Judy, one of the other apprentices would practice
the dances.  She had studied ballet for years and so she could do the
dances without thinking, she had trouble with the singing, so we had made
a trade.  She helped me with the dances and when no one was looking I
would help her with the singing by playing the piano and singing her
parts with her or other parts to harmonize.

That afternoon after the last rehearsal and Chris let me off the hook in
the shop I went out onto the grounds of the theater.  The theater had a
picnic area adjacent that the patrons could enjoy wine and cheese in
before a performance and during intermission.  It was landscaped in such
a way that the back section was on a rise and you had to go up steps to
get there.  At the top was a sitting area paved with flagstone and there
was an art piece with a commemorative plaque.  I could come up here and
practice the dance steps and count out loud without anyone hearing me.
Like most 17 year olds dancing wasn't something I enjoyed and counting
out loud while doing it was even worse.  I usually practiced for a while
then caught a ride back to the dorm for supper and a shower before riding
back out for the evening performance.

I was working through the steps counting when I heard Paul say, "I think
you missed a step there."
I was startled and stumbled, "Shit!"  I said.

"Are you OK?" he asked, "I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

I laughed and sat down next to him on the wide concrete bench.  "That's
ok, it wasn't going very well.  Did you hear Madam tell me that if I
didn't keep up she would have to have me sit the dance number out?  The
old bitch, she knows I can't keep up."  I sighed.

Paul said, "But you were doing great until that last turn and
shuffle."  He pulled the pad of paper he had had in the theater closer
and looked at it.  He said, "Start again, I wrote all the instructions
she gave you down."

"You're kidding right?  You wrote the old bats instructions down?  I
can't even understand them as she talks let alone write them down."  I
said.  I stood up and started from the beginning, Paul counted out loud
for me and I went through the steps, when I got to the turn shuffle he
stopped me.

"That's where you are having the problem, you aren't shifting your
weight to your right leg before you shuffle which throws you out of
step."  He said and stood up, "See I think it's like this.  Step right
two three, shuffle step and turn."  He said as he stepped out the dance
and I watched.

I quickly became lost in the craft and was stepping with him.  Soon he
was doing the dance with me and we were counting together.  "Step right,
two three, shuffle and turn."  We said together and ended.  We cracked
up laughing.

"Thanks, Paul that was great.  You're a pretty good dancer."  I said
and blushed.

He laughed and said, "I studied karate most of my life.  It is similar
in that you must be aware of your body.  You are tall and so thin, when
your movements become fluid it is beautiful."  He blushed also.

"I never thought of my dancing as beautiful.  I feel about as beautiful
as an old cow."  I said and sighed.

"Lets try it again."  He said.

When we finished, the pathway lights were on as dusk had fallen.  I
looked at my watch and said, "Shit, Paul I need to get back to the dorm
and grab a shower, I hope someone is still going that way."

"Not to worry," he said, "I'll run you into town, I have to shower
and change also.   We'll grab a burger on the way."

The ride in to town took about 10 minutes we had been talking about the
weather and Paul's classes; he had joined the faculty the previous year
after finishing his Doctorate at a large mid-western university.  He
pulled up at a DQ and we ordered burgers and fries.  I wolfed mine down
and was sipping my milk shake when Paul asked, "So, Dan do you have a
girlfriend back at home?"

I looked out the window and said, "No, I'm not what you'd call popular
at school."

He made a sound and said, "I don't know why, you're a nice guy and
good looking.  The girls ought to be lined up."  He laughed and started
the car.

I didn't like this turn of conversation.  I had a secret that I hadn't
told anyone.  I liked boys better than girls.  Of course I'd never done
anything about it.  There wasn't anyone in my home town like that.  At
least I didn't think there was.  Besides it was wrong, that's what I'd
been taught.  So I didn't do anything about it.  I had friends a couple
of them were girls but we weren't dating or anything.  I decided that
the best way to handle this conversation was to turn it around.

"Do you have a girlfriend, Paul?'  I asked.

He said, "No, I don't have a girlfriend.  I never was any good at
dating.  Just not interested I guess."

I laughed in spite of myself, "Cool, that's exactly how I feel about
it."  I saw him smile and we pulled up to my dorm.  He put the car in
park and said, "You have a ride back out there this evening?"

"Yeah, Andy and Pete should be stopping by in a few minutes and picking
us all up.  Thanks for the ride and the help with the dancing."  I said.

Paul reached over and squeezed my shoulder and said, "Anytime, Dan,
I've enjoyed this afternoon.  Perhaps I can help you with your dancing
again."

"That'd be great."  I said as I climbed out of the car and waved as he
drove off.

A few days later I was once again sitting eating lunch when Paul sat down
next to me, "How's the dancing going?"  he asked.

"Well the one number we worked on is ok, but there are others that
aren't so good.  I'm still practicing every spare minute.  It would
probably be easier if I had ever taken a dance class.  Opening night is
coming and it is just getting more intense."  I said and sighed.  "You
busy up in the box office?"

Paul laughed and said, "Yeah we have been trying to get all the posters
and flyers up and sent out.  I've been all the way to Cleveland putting
ads in the papers.  That's why I haven't joined you for lunch again."

The orchestra was tuning up again, I stood up and said, "Well it's time
for Madam to give me a hard time again."

Paul sat in the theater and ate; once again I watched as he pulled out
his pad of paper and started writing down Madam's instructions.  The
dance sequence we were working was the prototypical Rogers and
Hammerstein dream sequence.  I would be dressed in a Victorian Circus
performer costume, which I had already altered, and had to do a waltz
with another performer.  Because of my height I had been paired with a
tall chilly blonde, named Pat.  She was a professional dancer who made it
obvious that she considered dancing with me a personal purgatory.  Madam
once again took every opportunity to publicly critique my performance and
offer stern instructions.  By the end of the dance rehearsal I was
dejected and wishing I could set this sequence out.

As the afternoon wore on I wandered back up to the picnic area and found
Paul waiting for me.  He laughed at my surprised expression and said, "I
could tell you were going to come up here.  The rehearsal was pretty bad,
huh."

"Yeah, pretty bad just about covers it.  I wish she would let me sit
this sequence out, but I realize that the dream sequence is one of the
biggest scenes in any Rogers and Hammerstein production."  I said

Paul said, "I'll help you again, Dan.  You'll get through it.  Why
don't you go ahead and start and I'll watch with the instructions and
look for trouble spots again."

I started through the waltz but without a partner it was tough.  I
eventually stopped and said, "I'll have to go find Judy, she can help
me through this.  I need a partner."

Paul stood up and said, "I can play your partner, nobodies around to
see."  And with that he came up to me.  He was short in comparison; I'd
say about 5' 3", so I was over a foot taller.  That was ok though it
actually helped with the practice.

He held out his arms and I stepped in close and took his hand and placed
my other hand on the small of his back.  I was suddenly nervous.  I could
feel the firm muscles of his back and his hand closed on mine and I felt
him looking at me.  His other hand was lightly on my upper arm and he
smiled at me.

"It's like the "King and I", he said and laughed.

I relaxed and laughed, "Yeah but if you're Yul Brenner then that makes
me Debra Kerr."

Paul laughed and said, "You're too tall to be Debra Kerr."

He looked into my eyes and I suddenly was nervous again, being this close
to him, feeling the muscles of his back, smelling the sandalwood cologne
he wore.  I didn't really understand what was happening other than I
could feel the beginnings of arousal and quickly started to think about
the counts and steps.

"Ok, Paul lets try this again.  1 and 2 and 3 and 4 and turn and 2 and 3
and 4."  I started humming the music of the carousel that the dream
sequence contained and Paul continued to count.   I was suddenly in sync
with the music and the steps; it was coming together.  Paul was a much
more considerate partner than Pat.  I continued to hum but Paul had quit
counting.  We were still dancing nearly perfectly, I felt him move closer
and suddenly I felt his head lean against my shoulder.  A warm feeling
spread through my body, a comfortable feeling of closeness and sexual
anticipation that I had never felt before.  I popped a woodie and I was
sure he felt it.  I immediately stepped back and turned away.

"I think I got it now, Paul.  Thanks" I said hurriedly.

Paul sighed and said, "Are you sure you have it Dan.  Do you finally
understand?"

I nodded my head with my back still turned to him.  I could hear his
steps as he moved closer, then I felt his hand on my arm.  "Look at me,
Dan."

I sheepishly turned to him, one hand cupping my erection to cover it.  I
raised my eyes to him my face burning with embarrassment.  I saw him look
down at my hand then look up into my eyes and smile.

"It's ok."  He said and then he pulled the side seam of his white
tennis shorts out so that the material stretched tight across his
crotch.  I could see the outline of his erection through the thin
material.   "Me too." He said and touched my hand, "don't be
ashamed.  I'm glad you feel that way too."

I stammered, "I've never...done anything...you know?"

He smiled again and said, "It's ok, I don't want you to do anything
you don't want to do."  He leaned against me again and I felt his
breath as his lips lightly brushed mine and then he kissed my neck and
moaned quietly.   I felt his hard dick rub against my thigh and my own
dick jerked with pleasure.

I pulled away from him gently and said, "I need to get back.  My ride
will be waiting."

Paul once again put his hands on my shoulders and pulled me to him, "Ok,
but I want to do this again."  He said and kissed me full on the lips,
his mustache tickled my nose and his hard dick rubbed deliciously against
my thigh again.  I let my hands touch his hips and I could feel the rock
hard buttocks as they strained to grind him even harder against me.  I
stepped back abruptly and turned and walked quickly down the steps,
finding Andy at the bottom.

"I was worried, man.  We gotta get back into town and be back out here
for the last performance tonight." He said.

The ride back to the dorm and my quick shower were all a blur.  I didn't
really know what had happened, one minute we were dancing and the next
Paul was kissing me and I was really enjoying it.  Did it make me queer?
Was I really the fag that everyone in school seemed to think?  Most
importantly, what did I think of Paul?  I knew what he had wanted and I
had wanted it too at the time.

Looking back now, I realize I was experiencing for the first time the
taste of a sexual desire that had the potential of being fulfilled.
Until that time all the sexual desire I had experienced had been
fulfilled with a quick jerk off and I seriously never considered the
possibility of actually fulfilling those desires any other way.  Now here
was an adult situation with someone else wanting to have sex, instead of
just me.  How innocent and insouciant, we all were once I guess.  Oh to
be that young and full of hormones again.

The anticipation and the sheer terror of what could or would happen the
next time I was alone with him was very nearly heart stopping.  He knew
my secret without me having to tell him, and even more comforting to me
was the fact that there was someone else with that same secret.

The current play, "Blythe Spirit" closed that night and we struck the
set and started immediately putting "Carousel" together.  The critic's
performance of Carousel would be that night so we all were working
furiously to get the production on stage.  I spent about 12 straight
hours either in rehearsals for final blocking of the numbers or in the
shop doing the final fittings and alterations.  I was taking a break from
costumes, sipping a glass of iced tea Chris had made when Paul came by.

"You not eating lunch today?" he asked.

I looked at him, and immediately got a hard on.  He was dressed in a pair
of loose shorts and a t shirt with sandals.  He was below me on the
pavement and I was standing on the open passage outside the shop that was
a story above him.  I leaned over the rail and said, "Sorry, too busy
getting costumes ready.  Ever tried ironing Victorian dresses?"

He laughed and said, "No can't say I have."

"They're a real bitch, too many layers."  I laughed back.  "How about
you?"

"Well I waited in our usual place and finally gave up on you and ate.  I
went back to work and had gotten all the tickets and reservations sorted
and decided to come kidnap you."  He smiled

"What'd you have in mind?"  I asked.
"How about Pizza and a beer?  I can have you back here in an hour.
Think Chris will let you sneek off?" He asked

I put my glass down and went down the stairs and met him at the bottom.
"Let's not ask and see how bad she misses me.  The ironing is done all
I have to do is hang the costumes up.  You can help and then we can
leave."

We went into the shop where I had the ironed costumes on a wheeled rack
ready to deliver.  I handed him a bunch of men's costumes and told him
to follow me.  We went into the large communal dressing room and started
hanging costumes under the actors names on the long racks.  Each garment
had a piece of paper with the actors name written on it stuck over the
wire hook.  We made a couple of trips from the shop to the dressing room
and then did the women's costumes.

We were quickly settled into his large sedan driving into town to a place
called "Sitting Bull."  It was a campus hang out but as the summer
session was over it was deserted.  Paul ordered us a large pizza and a
pitcher of beer.

We talked of the production and opening night until our pizza arrived and
then sipping my beer I asked quietly, "Paul, are you gay?"

He looked at me seriously and then said, "Yes, Dan, I am.  Does that
scare you?"

I thought for a moment and said, "You don't scare me, but what I feel
sometimes does.  You know, that someone might find out or catch me or
something."  I blushed.

Paul smiled and said, "I'm glad you're not afraid of me.  I understand
about not wanting others to know, I just came out a year ago and there
are still people I haven't told.  Someday you might decide to let others
know, but for now it's ok to want to stay in the closet."

"Have you ever, you know, done anything with another guy?"  I asked in
a whisper.

Paul chuckled quietly and said, "Yeah a few times, but I don't have a
boyfriend.  You ready for the dress rehearsal tonight?"

"I think so, I feel pretty good about the dancing, thanks to all your
help."  I said and blushed.  I felt his hand touch my knee.

"I was happy to do it, Dan.  Break a leg tonight."  He said and
smiled.  I could feel myself getting hard.

The "critic's performance" or dress rehearsal went off without a
hitch.  After the curtain went down, there was a wine and cheese buffet
for the critics and the actors on the terrace behind the box office.  I
had bellied up to the bar and was sitting at the edge of the crowd
quietly eating when Paul came over and sat down.  We talked about the
performance which Paul had gotten to see, since there wasn't really
anything for the box office to do, other than supervise the caterers.
Lost in conversation I realized that we were the only two left on the
terrace and the theater seemed quiet.  Most of the cast and crew were
exhausted from the grueling day of getting the show on.

"Come on Dan, I'll take you back into town."  Paul said.

"Ok I'll change and meet you at the car," I said.  I left him cleaning
up the terrace and went into the men's changing room.  The place was
deserted the cast having left long ago.  I removed my costume and hung it
back up and stood in front of the mirrored makeup table and slathered
cold cream on my face to remove the grease paint.  While we didn't have
to wear much makeup on the thrust stage we did wear some light
foundation.  As I wiped the cream and makeup off with tissue I noticed
movement in the mirror and saw Paul standing just on the edge of the
mirrors lights in the dark room.  He was staring at my backside as I
stood bent half over in the mirror; his hand was lightly rubbing his
crotch.  Our eyes met and I smiled at him, he stepped into the light and
I felt his hand touch my back lightly.

"You are beautiful, you know."  He said quietly and let his hand glide
down onto my buttock.

I remember wondering what I should say to that, I didn't think of myself
as attractive in any way, I was tall and thin and dorky to my eye.  I
recently ran across the program for that performance and saw a relatively
good picture of myself that had been taken that week.  I was indeed
beautiful, as only a fresh young man standing on the brink of manhood can
be.
"I'm a dork, Paul." I said and started to laugh but the laughter died
when I saw his expression in the mirror.

As inexperienced as I was I knew he wanted me, and my unruly dick sprang
up in response.  I put the last of the tissue in the trash, stood, went
to the sink and splashed cold water on my face.  I could feel Paul's
eyes boring into me, my stomach felt like a whole flock of butterflies
were trying to get out.  I turned to get dressed and Paul came up to me,
his hands touched my chest and then he laced his fingers behind my neck
and pulled me down to his lips.  His tongue brushed my closed lips and
without thinking I stuck my tongue out to taste his lips, he used that
opportunity to thrust his tongue into my mouth and I nearly shot my bolt
then and there.  Inexperienced he might have been but he could sure
kiss.  Keep in mind I'd not kissed another person except my mother in my
life.  This sure wasn't like that.  His hands were pinching my nipples
and they brushed the front of my shorts making my dick jerk and tingle
with the beginnings of orgasm.  Sensing how close I was, I'm not sure if
I groaned or not, Paul let the kiss end naturally and stepped back.

"I've wanted to do that all night."  He said and smiled.

I could feel myself blush and pulled my clothes on quickly.  "Ready."
 I said and turned back to him.  He smiled and we left the theatre.  I
remember walking in front of him down the narrow staircase that lead down
to the cast parking lot and Paul's hands resting lightly on the
waistband of my shorts.

In the car Paul's hand rested lightly on my thigh, occasionally brushing
up and down while he talked of inconsequential things.  How much he
missed Hong Kong, and how much he disliked the Newman Center on campus.
I murmured responses I'm sure but really all I could think about was the
hand brushing my bare thigh lightly.

Paul stopped for a red light and looked over at me, "Dan will you stay
with me tonight?"  he asked casually.  His hand moved up my thigh and
gently cupped my hard dick.

So at 17 did I know what he wanted?  Of course, was I responsible enough
to understand all the implications?  Of course not; all I knew was this
very attractive guy had my dick in his hands and I wanted to cum really
badly.

We pulled up in front of his small house on a quiet suburban street.  He
shut off the car and turned and we kissed again.  "I'm glad you decided
to stay Dan."  He whispered.

I followed him into the house, In the small dark living room he turned
and again kissed me, this time his passion was obvious, his hands were up
my tshirt and down my shorts seemingly all at once.  I was nervous and
trying desperately not to cum in my shorts.  Typically I was more
concerned with what he would think of me than I was of my own enjoyment.
He broke our kiss and taking my hand lead me down the darkened hallway
and into his bedroom.  Once again he started kissing me and then gently
pushed me back and I sat abruptly on the bed, he continued to kiss me and
he knelt astride my thighs and he explored my mouth, I could feel his
erection rubbing my abdomen as he slowly humped against me,  I could
sense more than hear his heavy breathing and felt the searing heat coming
off his body.
I scooted up the bed, Paul never leaving me for a moment.  When I was
settled on the pillow he moved down from my lips and onto my neck, all
the while he was pulling my shirt up, in one quick movement he broke the
kiss and pulled the shirt over my head exposing my thin chest, which was
utterly hairless then.

His lips caressed the hard nubs that were my nipples and I arched my back
and moaned, my brain was in a fever and my hands were tangled in his
thick hair.  He removed my shorts and his hand encircled my aching cock.
Then he leaned lower and his warm lips encircled the fevered flesh and I
went over the brink.  I had read the French called orgasm la petite
morte, the little death.  In that instant I understood what feelings that
phrase captured.  Paul took my load and sucked me dry until I pulled back
from over sensitivity.  He looked up at me and smiled, then said, "My
turn."

He stood up and undressed, when he lowered his shorts his 4 inch penis
was tight against his abdomen, he was so hard and I could see the clear
fluid running down the underside.  He straddled my chest and I took his
rod into my mouth, having never done that before I soon was making Paul
moan like a professional.  His arousal was having an equal effect on me
as well and I soon was a full staff again.  Paul pulled out of my mouth
and panted, `Turn over, I want to fuck you."

I was scared, I'd never dreamed of anything like that and before I could
say anything he was turning me over and was trying to push his cock up my
backside. Whether through inexperience, desire to cause pain, or more
likely enthusiasm he didn't bother with lubricant and seeing as I was a
total virgin the prison lube of my saliva wasn't up to the task.  His
thrusts became painful and persistent but due to his relative short
length and his enthusiasm he popped before he could do any serious
damage.  As his thrust reached fever pitch I heard him whimper and moan
and felt his hot cum plaster my back and buttocks, that and the friction
of my dick against the sheets was all it took for me to shoot again.  He
collapsed on top of me and gently kissed my neck and check.

He fell asleep almost immediately and I lay there wrapped in his arms
warm from the sex and drifted into a dreamless sleep, sated from my first
sexual encounter and the feelings of being wanted.

The next morning, Paul was as he ever was, warm and courteous and
gentle.  We ate breakfast and he drove me back to the dorm where I
showered quickly and changed clothes.  My room mate, Dewayne, was very
persistent about my being out all night but I managed in the rush to get
ready for the day to deflect his eager questions.  This left him in a
pout as was his want when thwarted.

I rode into work that morning as usual, with Pete and Andy, Dewayne kept
hinting broadly about my being out all night.  The others in the car were
getting quiet, and looking at one another.  Alas I was oblivious to most
of it; I was still in serious afterglow.
The day was busy we were in rehearsals now for the next production that
run after Carousel; Camino Real is the quintessential Tennessee Williams
play. I was in a very, very minute role so I mainly worked in the shop as
we were making all the costumes for it.  We set it in a modern context so
there were few costumes that actually had to be constructed most were
purchased out right from consignment stores.  At noon Paul came by the
shop and we went to lunch together.  He seemed in a hurry, when I asked
him about it he said, "I'm just in a hurry to be with you, baby."

I smiled at his endearment, and took the hand he placed in mine.  He
pulled into a Tastee Freeze and we got hotdogs.  On the way back to the
theater Paul turned into a farm lane that ran straight like an arrow off
the road and then dipped down into a hollow where a stream cut across the
lane.  He parked the car and told me to get out, unconcerned I got out
and met him at the hood of the car, his hands went up my chest and I met
his lips, his passion was obvious and he let his hands slip to the waist
of the shorts I was wearing, he started to push them down.  I was
embarrassed to be out in the wide open air even though we were well
concealed from the road.  "Paul someone might come along."  I said.

He hands were down the back of my shorts, "Come on baby, I need it
really bad."  He whispered and pulled me to face the car.  He managed to
work my shorts down enough to expose my ass.

"Come on Paul, I don't want to get caught, man."  I said, but my dick
was betraying me as he fondled me from behind.  I lay on the hood of the
car and could hear him undoing his trousers.

At least this time he took the trouble to lube himself cause when he hit
my hole he powered it right in.  "Shit, Paul, that hurts.."  I started.

He moaned and pulled out and then banged right back in.  He was gasping
for breath and he had a death grip on my waist as he pounded into me.  I
whimpered in pain, but that only seemed to excite him more.  Luckily he
was short on the draw and he moaned loudly and thrust deep and jerked as
he dumped his load into my sore bottom.  He held me until he softened and
slipped out, then turned me around and slipped to his knees and sucked me
into his mouth, soon I was pouring my cum down his throat and once again
was in a hazy afterglow when we arrived back at the theater.

I went back to the shop and finished the day.  That evening Andy stopped
by and told me we needed to go.  I hesitated thinking Paul would come
along and get me, but Andy was insistent so I went with him.  Dewayne
kept sneaking glances at me all the way back to the dorm.  I grabbed a
towel from the room and went across the hall to the showers.  I quickly
stripped off and stepped into the spray from the nearest head.  Dewayne
stepped in right after I'd lathered my hair up.  He took the next head
which was unusual as he normally stayed on the other side of the room or
waited until I returned to our room before showering. His eunuchoid build
was mildly nauseating.

"Saw who you stayed out with last night.  You fucking freak."  He
sneered.

I stood under the running water and said, "Fuck you Dewayne, you have no
idea what you've seen or who I was with."

I turned off the water and turned to grab my towel.  Dewayne was standing
in the doorway with his obviously hard dick in his fist.  "Come on fag
suck me."  He groaned as he jerked his pathetic dick.

I walked up to him and he sighed, I pulled back and landed my first punch
on his left check bone and my second just above his clutched genitals.
He crumpled into a heap on the shower floor without saying a word.  I
stepped over him and went back to the room and dressed.  He returned as I
was finishing dressing for the evening performance.

"Just for the record, Dewayne, you ever come on to me like that again
and I'll beat the living shit out of you.  You got that?"  I asked.

He nodded and didn't say anything.  I went downstairs and met up with
Andy in the lobby.  Andy was a nice guy, he was a professional actor and
this was his 5th season in summer stock. He had always treated me like an
adult as had all the actors.

"Hey Dan," Andy said and nodded his head toward the TV lounge that was
quiet and empty this time of day.  "I'm not your Dad or anything, but I
need to tell you not to stay out all night.  The Coordinator is going to
have to ask you to leave if it happens again."  He finished somewhat
embarrassed.

I was hurt and immediately rebellious like most 17 year olds, but
something told me that this was serious so I merely nodded and said,
"Ok, sure thing Andy."

That day was the last time I saw Paul.  I don't know what transpired.
Now, looking back, my guess is Dewayne's comments caused people to take
notice and it was obvious after that what was happening and the
Coordinator and I'm sure the production company could just about hear
the lawyers calling if it got out.  I was 17 and Paul was in his 30s and
a college professor.  It was the 1970s and while blatant homosexual
activity was occurring in places like New York, Ohio was still Ohio.

I, of course, remained busy with the productions, seemingly more so now.
By the time Carousel closed I knew Paul had left, and I was shattered.  I
tried calling his house but there was no answer.  On the one and only
free day I got a week I actually got a cab and had it take me to his
house, the curtains were drawn and the car was gone.  I called the Math
department and asked the secretary about Paul, she stated that Dr.
Korkuru was out for the rest of the summer and wouldn't return until the
fall term started.

I was pretty despondent, but my work at the theater didn't suffered.
During the rehearsals for Oklahoma, another fucking R&H musical, even
Madam complimented me on my new found proficiency, but I had once again
retreated into my isolation and had, if anything, built the walls even
higher.  All I could do was think of Paul and wonder if he was thinking
of me.  At night if I wasn't so exhausted as to not dream at all, I'd
awaken in a puddle of my own cum dreaming about his warm brown eyes and
inscrutable oriental features.

The only time it was brought up the rest of the season was one afternoon,
near the end of the season.  I was seated in the picnic area eating my
box lunch.  It was flaming hot as only Ohio in August can be; Andy came
by and sat down.

"You know, Dan, I think of all the kids that came this summer, you're
the one that's learned the most."  He smiled and dropped his hand on my
shoulder.

"How's that dude?"  I asked not really caring about the answer.

He laughed, "Just like the old saying goes, the show must go on.
You've had a rough summer, yet you've went on with the show.  I hope
you stay in theater, you've got the dedication for it."

"Thanks Andy."  I said wondering how to return to my miserable
existence in a few weeks.

The summer ended and I went back home and back to high school.  Something
had subtly changed about me though; I no longer paid much attention to
the crowd.  My family also commented on how I'd seemed to grow up that
summer.

Epilogue:
We all have a summer in our lives like mine related here.  A time we can
point to and say "There, that's the time when I first left childhood
behind."  30 years have nearly gone by since then, there were other
times I can point to also, my marriage, the birth of my children, all of
those are milestones on my journey through life.  But that summer, that
was the time when I opened out into the condition we all share.  The
first time I communicated with my body as an adult to another adult, and,
possible found a little love.

Looking back now I realize that I was taken advantage of, and the sex was
pretty one sided, but I was a very willing partner to that.  Did Paul
teach me anything?  Certainly, he taught me that the drive for sex is a
human condition and that to enjoy it is a wonderful thing.  He also
taught me that you can be hurt if you open yourself up to someone else
but there are rewards along the way.

So, Paul, if you're out there reading this, I hope you recognize the
young man you spent your passion on and realize that I've no regrets and
I hope you have none either.  Today there are so many negative things
said about the kind of relationship we had, perhaps they're right, but
speaking only for me, you helped me grow up.  I've been lucky in life to
share my body and my love with a few other people, but I'll never forget
that season of Summer Theater.