Date: Tue, 07 Mar 2000 19:31:04 -0800
From: Fredric L. Brothers <flbrothers@hotbot.com>
Subject: "SUMMER WITH VAL" - Chapter 1 (Man/Boy)
Disclaimer: The following story is a work of fiction. It contains scenes
of deep affection between an adult white male and a minor black boy. If
you find any of this disturbing, then leave.
Please e-mail any thoughts or comments you may have: FLBROTHERS@hotbot.com
---------------------------------
SUMMER WITH VAL
---------------------------------
By Fred Brothers
Copyright 2000 by Fredric Law Brothers (All Rights Reserved)
First, A Little Background Information
It was an extremely messy, disruptive and acrimonious divorce. I
really didn't understand how it degenerated into an outright catfight, but
it did. After all, there was the kid to consider - our son. But
degenerate it certainly did, and after the counseling, and the
preliminaries, and all the lawyers, and the myriad of hearings, and then
the final decision - well, I felt totally and permanently scarred.
I quietly left my teaching position at the University of
California-Berkeley. I needed something quieter, more insular, more out of
the way - some place where I could concentrate on my writing and also teach
at a college or university to earn a living. Writing did not provide that
luxury - at least, not yet.
I rented my beautiful home - my wonderful secure retreat, my haven,
my shelter - located in the hills overlooking San Francisco Bay. I found a
professorship at a small liberal arts college in Iowa. Of all of the
goddamned out of the way places, I chose Iowa. It was pleasant enough, I
suppose. It was attractive and it was even the slightest bit fun. Most of
all, and best of all, it was a way to lose myself from the incessant
outside world. The school had a great faculty, a wonderful student body
and I rather enjoyed my stay.
The downside to all this midwestern bucolic life was that it gave
me lots of time to think - to think about how I fucked up my marriage and
how I lost the thing that was most precious and dear to me in the whole
world - my son Gabe. It gave me too goddamned much time to think. But it
also made me think clearly, rationally and candidly about myself, and what
I truly wanted from this life. And it gave me plenty of time to pursue my
writing.
Chapter 1 - A Fortuitous Reacquaintance
I awoke in my bedroom - my bedroom! I was home. After five years
of exile, I was finally home again! Well, it wasn't really exile, but at
times, it did feel like it. I looked around the beautiful room. I
stretched and yawned. My two Shelties, Louie and Billie, were sleeping at
my feet. It was marvelous to be back in the place I loved best. Even
though it also carried some heavy memories, I knew that I would be able to
live with them...given enough time.
I hopped out of bed and the dogs went scampering toward the
kitchen. There was a lot to do today - as there had been for the last week
of my return. I needed to get things in order so that I would be prepared
to teach the summer class that I had been assigned.
The house was as marvelous as I had remembered. I was determined
that my return here signaled the beginning of a new phase of my life - a
life of giving, sharing my bounty with others and luxuriating in the
knowledge that helping ones fellow human beings is the function of our
purpose here on earth.
Now, don't get me wrong. I did not find God in cornfields of Iowa,
nor did I become "born-again"; I figured, being born once was trauma enough
for me. What I did discover is that we make our lives far too complicated
with all kinds of extraneous crap that seems to seep into our existence.
Too many so-called commitments to too many so-called causes rob us of our
energies and prevent us from carrying out our essential and designated
roles as human beings.
Anyway, I was feeling just wonderful on this delightfully warm,
sunny, breezy early June day. It was one of those days that really makes
one goddamned glad to be alive. This was the weather I craved when I lived
in Iowa - the weather that makes the San Francisco Bay area so desirable as
a place to live.
I was in the library putting together a new set of bookcases in the library
between checks to my e-mail. I had to get my collection in good order and
have everything within easy reach. The dogs were helping, of course,
getting in and out of the empty cartons and chasing each other.
I walked into the kitchen to refresh my coffee cup and the front
door bell rang. The door was opened and as I approached it, I thought I
recognized the young black boy standing there.
I walked up to the screen door. "Val? Val Hendricks? Is that
you?"
"Oh! Hi Dr. Greene," he responded with a big, cheerful smile.
"I'm really surprised to see ya here. Someone said that ya'd moved back in
but I didn't believe 'em."
"Yes, I'm really back. God, Val. It's really so great to see
you!" I walked out onto the porch. I looked him over, and he looked as
great as ever. I rubbed his close cut head of hair. I put my arms around
him and hugged him. I remembered doing this when he was a small kid. "I
really happy to see you, kid. You look really great!" However, he didn't
respond at all to my show of affection and I felt disappointed and slightly
hurt; we had been such great pals. Maybe he thought he was too old for
this kind of gushy stuff now. I moved back looking slightly embarrassed.
"So...er...tell me, Val, how're your mom and dad?"
He hesitated for a second. "They're...uh...fine, sir. Mom is out
with me today. She's in the car. She'll be along in a minute or so.
How's Gabe doin'?"
"He's doing great. Living with his mother up near Seattle."
Val had been Gabe's best friend from as early as I could remember;
they were inseparable. They were only a few weeks different in age, with
Gabe being the older. They were like twins - wherever one was, there was
the other. From playground to classroom they were always in the other's
company. And what a contrast they made. Both were so beautiful - Gabe,
all fair and pink with his beautiful flowing blonde hair, and Val, tall and
thin and dark, and so very striking.
"I'm glad you're back home again, Dr. Greene."
"Well, I'm very happy to be home again, Val."
He launched into his spiel. "I'm here selling candy in support of
our soccer team, Dr.Greene. They're a dollar a bar, sir. Would you like
to buy any?" I nodded. "How many would ya like, sir," he said while
presenting me with a big, wide, wonderful smile. I always liked this kid
and could watch Gabe and Val play all day long.
Val was taller than he had been, of course. Five years makes a big
difference when one is young. He was still very thin and still quite cute.
He was wearing white baggy shorts that came below his knees, a terribly
oversized Oakland Raiders sweatshirt (which covered everything down to his
thighs) and black high top sneakers without socks. Val always had a very
athletic body; he was very lithe and quite adept at anything physical. I
had him pegged as a future prospect for either the NBA or the NFL.
"So, sir, how many'll it be, Dr. Greene?" he said abruptly.
It broke me out of my daydreams and reveries. "Uh, how many? Oh,
the candy. Sorry, Val. Yeah, let's see. I'll take ten."
"I got twelve left, Dr. Greene. How 'bout takin' 'em all?"
"Twelve it is then, kid."
Val bent over to lift the box of candies...and I was immediately
struck by the flash of shiny metal coming from his wrist. "Must be a wrist
watch," I thought.
But it wasn't. It sure as hell wasn't! When Val stood up and held
out the box of candy, he held it not with his hands - but with two shiny
metal hooks.
I was flabbergasted. I could not speak. I swallowed hard. My
vision was playing tricks on me, I was sure. "W-w-what h-h-happened? My
God! Val! What happened to you?" I finally managed to get out in a
croak-like whisper. His face immediately mirrored the horror I must have
shown on my own face.
He dropped his head and looked at his feet. "Ya don't know, do
ya?" He shook his head. "No, I guess not, not with ya not livin' here any
more and all." He looked up at me and seemed so pathetic, so vulnerable -
and so sweet. "I...uh...I lost b-both my hands in a a-a-accident t-two
years ago, Dr. Greene." He glanced down again and shuffled his feet.
When he gazed at me again he was smiling slightly and looked
incredibly endearing. He swallowed a few time before speaking. "But I'm
doin' great with these new ones I got now. See?" He proceeded to show me
how he could open the box of candy, take one or two out, put them back,
close the box, and set it down. I managed to give him a small smile and he
smiled back. I noticed that his eyes had become quite moist.
I rubbed his head again and then held my arms opened. He put down
the candy box and this time he walked into my waiting arms. I hugged him
tightly and he returned it with fervor; he put both of his arms around me
and hugged me forcefully. I rubbed one hand over his back and neck. I
could feel his spine and collarbones. I also felt a sort of harness under
his sweatshirt. I was sure that this was part of the prostheses he was
wearing, though I didn't know for sure.
My mind was reeling! Val was a cripple! Beautiful, vibrant Val!
Crippled in an accident! This beautiful kid was now permanently crippled?
Oh, Christ! How awful! How absolutely horrible! I could not reconcile
this in my mind. This poor kid has lost both his hands! Both his hands!
Christ! What a disaster! What a goddamned fuckin' tragedy!
"I'm so sorry, Dr. Greene," he sobbed.
I was slightly choked up and had difficulty speaking. "What are
you sorry about, Val?"
He continued to sob, rubbing his face into my shirt and chest. "I
dunno. I guess I'm sorry 'bout not huggin' ya before...and sorry I had
this stupid accident...and sorry 'bout losing my...h-h-hands and sorry
'bout disgustin' you this way."
"There's nothing to be sorry about, kiddo. And you're definitely
not disgusting me. Get that out of your mind. I'm sure you're still the
same great kid you've always been, Val. I'm just so happy to see you
again." I continued to hold him until he calmed down. "I can remember you
and Gabe playing together all the time. You were a great kid back then and
I'm sure you are equally wonderful now." He held me tightly around my
chest and I felt the warmth and passion of this boy seeping into my body.
Val dropped his arms and moved away from me slightly. I took out
my handkerchief to wipe his face. "You still have such beautiful eyes,
Val."
"Yeah," he said with a touch of sarcasm in his voice. "The kids are always
makin' fun of my eyes, Dr. Greene."
"Why? I don't understand why?"
"'Cause they say black people aren't supposed t'have hazel color
eyes; they're supposed to be black."
"Did you ever see that written down some where?" He shook his
head. "I never have either. So I'd say that it isn't really true.
Right?" He nodded and laughed slightly at my dry humor.
I was looking rather steadily and intensely at Val's hooks. It was
difficult for me to look away from them. Val must have noticed this
attraction and minor obsession that was suddenly afflicting me.
"Are ya interested in lookin' at my new hands, Dr. Greene? Wanna
see them close and see how they work?"
I was very anxious to see these bright, shiny new appliances that
Val was sporting. I nodded. The kid was reading me very clearly. "I-I-If
you don't mind, Val, I l-love to."
"I don't mind. I know you're a good friend." He stepped back a
little farther and held out his hooks for me to inspect. He explained how
he operated them, about the harness around his shoulders, the stump socks
he wears, the cables leading from the hooks to the harness. He pushed up
his sleeve and showed me the entire apparatus. He then gave me a pretty
comprehensive demonstration including the actions of the wrist and the
range of motion of the devices. The kid was pretty adept at using them and
he seemed comfortable explaining them to me.
After he dropped his hands to his side, I reached down for them and
gently lifted these stainless steel mechanisms in my hands. I held both of
them - one in each hand. He got a very surprised expression on his face -
he stared at me with his mouth opened and his eyes wide.
"What's wrong Val?" I immediately asked.
He shook his head. "Nothing, Dr. Greene. But...but...ya touched
'em...and...and you're holdin' 'em," he said with a strong sense of wonder
and disbelief in his voice.
"Is there something wrong with touching them, Val?"
Again he shook his head. No...no...no," he said quietly.
"But...nobody's ever touched...ya know, touched 'em so...so quickly
before...ya know, after first seein' 'em and all."
I held his hooks and looked into those great hazel eyes. "Have you
ever seen that written down any where?" He gave me a big smile. "Val, it
really doesn't bother me at all if you have hooks now instead of your
hands. They're part of you now...and that's what I accept. I think you've
always known that I think the world of you. Nothing has changed that as
far as I am concerned. Absolutely nothing!"
He grasped me around the waist again and pressed his head against
my chest. I hugged him closely and I kissed the top of his head softly.
This time, however, I could feel his hooks as they pressed lightly into my
back. The feel sent a chill throughout my body - I was a marvelous
feeling.
"Oh, Dr. Greene...when I was walkin' up the path here just before
and I didn't know that ya were back but I was thinkin' somehow about all
the great times that you and me and Gabe had together. Remember?"
"Yes, Val, I do."
"We'd go to the ballgames and on your boat...and to the
museums...and shopping...and on trips. It was so much fun. I was so
great!" He began to sob lightly. "Remember?"
I squeezed him a little harder. "Yes, I certainly do remember.
Those were great times. And maybe we can do all of those things again very
soon. Gabe will be here for the entire month of August...and I promise
we'll be doing lots of things together - just the three of us."
"Really?" he said, while jumping up and down slightly. "That's
great!"
"What's great?" a voice said from the driveway. We both turned to
saw Val's mother, my good friend Elise, standing there and looking at us.
"When you didn't come back to the car I thought you'd been kidnapped, Val."
"Look, mommy. Dr. Greene's home again. That's what's great!"
"Zachary Greene? Is it really you?" she said in her patented seductive
voice. "What a great, great surprise! We have a bona fide celebrity
living here now." I blushed slightly. She walked up to me and we kissed
on the cheeks. "You look great! Iowa seems to have agreed with you."
"Thanks, Elise. You look great too." I looked over at Val again.
He was standing next to his mom and again looking down at the ground, maybe
just the slightest bit embarrassed. Just then Louie and Billie came racing
around the house and onto the steps. They put their front paws on Val and
were wagging their tails furiously. "Val, I think Louie and Billie
remember you. Do you remember them?"
He nodded vigorously. "Sure do! I remember 'em all right.
They're real great dogs! I wish I had one like 'em." He squatted down and
proceeded to pet them with his hooks. He looked adorable and the dogs just
loved Val's undivided attention. They licked his face and wagered their
tails steadily. "See, mommy, the dogs don't care that I don't have hands.
They still love me. They really seem t'like my hooks and it doesn't bother
'em at all."
I began to tear up; the scene was just so incredibly
beautiful...and so touchingly pathetic. I took out my handkerchief again,
this time to wipe my eyes and blow my nose. However, I noticed that Elise
was not moved by the scene. In fact, her face had a rather stern
expression as she unwaveringly looked down at Val.
I picked up Val's box of candy bars. "Listen, since I bought the
last box of Val's candy, why don't we all go inside for a while and relax.
I also need to give him the money I owe. Elise, what do you say? We can
catch up on old times; Val can play with Louie and Billie...or watch some
TV. I've got some really great coffee going."
"Is it all right with you, Val?" Elise asked, a little
dispassionately I thought.
"Sure! No problem at all. I'd love it a lot."
I opened the screen door; Elise entered the house first. She
looked back at Val and me, and I thought I detected a rather sour and
disapproving look on her face. I had put my right arm around Val's neck
and my hand had come to rest at the center of his chest. He looked up at
me very approvingly. "This is one great kid," I thought. "But, why do I
get the distinct and sickening feeling that things are not going well
between Val and Elise?"
We proceeded into the house followed by the dogs. I was tickling Val's
chest with my hand and he was giggling heartily. Elise turned again and
gave us another unsmiling look. I was convinced that something was not
right with this relationship, with this mother and her son, and I had to
find out what was happening.
To Be Continued Very Soon...