Date: Sun, 16 Oct 2016 10:02:26 +0200 (CEST)
From: z.blake@tutanota.com
Subject: Tales From the Male Bag: How Bennett Got Hard

TALES FROM THE MALE BAG:
HOW BENNETT GOT HARD
By Bennett as told to Zachyboy
M/b, anal, rough

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Please support the Nifty Archive Alliance.

http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html

Our memories live here.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Back toward the end of May 2016, I read the most incredible stand-alone
memoir story it's been my pleasure to read on Nifty in many a boy moon. It
was called "True Vegas Boy Whore," and it left my heart pounding and my
mind racing. It was real and riveting and raw, and I'll repeat its location
right now, in case for the love of Beezus, you happened to miss it the
first time lightning struck. Whoof.

https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/true-vegas-boy-whore

It's sometimes hard to tell what's real and what's not in the world of
online erotica – we are all such a mixture of history and mystery,
embellishment and re-invention – so I dashed off a quick note to its
author, Bennett – something I wish all you guys would do more often for
your volunteer Nifty authors when they pen something hot you particularly
enjoy. It's great to sit here and jack off for free, but we all need to say
thank you and hand out a cursory, courtesy reach-around every once in a
while, right? Seems only polite.

Anyway, I sent Bennett the following appreciative note:

"Hey Man, how are you? Bennett? That's your name in the memoir you
posted. I'm not sure if that's your real name, but oh well, my name's not
my real name either. I'm Zach. I write on here as Zachyboy.

I just want to say, really, thank you for "True Vegas Boy Whore" on
Nifty. It's one of the most real, most raw, most authentic stories I've
read in ages. If it's true, wow. If it's fiction, you're a hell of a
writer. I applaud you for your talent, or your honesty, or your combination
of both.

I've written about boy whores too. "Take a Gander at Alexander." "Giving Me
Lip," and a few others that may or may not ring true for you. I never had
the experience personally, but you did, and I'd love to hear more about
it. Hell, I wish you'd *write* more about it. If nobody's encouraged you to
write a Part 2 yet, I really hope you do. Your story, and the world you
lived in, are both erotic and fascinating to me.

I got fucked the first time by a man when I was 14. That means I was
practically a 14-year-old grandpa compared to your little tail at 9, but it
was still life-altering. I was sexually active (full anal) with other boys
from my age 9, to their-age-7, all throughout my childhood.

Anyway, your story is just sort of breathtaking to me, and I keep coming
back to it for re-reads (and re-jacks). I just wanted you to know it was
appreciated deeply. I know first-hand, Nifty readers rarely say thank you
for the courage it takes for guys like you to come here and tell your story
and share your intimate memories and fantasies. That's a hard thing to do,
and it goes far too often unheralded by anyone. You have my admiration.  I
just wanted to let you know your story is brave, hot, and appreciated, and
if it is authentic memoir (or even if it's not), I do hope you'll pleasure
us with more of your memories someday.

Thanks, from Zach.

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

And Bennett wrote back:

"Thank you very much, Zach. I really do appreciate the feedback and your
kind words. Most everything I wrote has truth to it. I will admit that a
few gaps had to be plugged with some fiction to get the whole story out, as
so many parts of what happened are a mystery to me.

The crux of the story, and me being a pimped out boy whore with my mom as
an accomplice are true, and so are the specific encounters I relate.

I was contemplating a Part 2. I wrote this story, because in some parts it
felt like therapy, and in some parts, reliving so many of the things that
happened to me gets me excited, and I wanted to put them in words.

I did hear from one man who paid to fuck me all those years ago. I was able
to gauge very quickly that he was telling the truth as he knew everyone
involved, the club that everyone worked at, and even details about the room
that I did my fucking in.

So, yeah. I've heard from one guy. It was not exactly through the Nifty
story, but I found him in a similar way. He was kind, and able to answer so
many questions for me. He was with me 4 times when I was a boy and it was
early so I was still just 9 when he met me.

Some of what he told me was very, very hard to cope with as it sounded like
my mom and all of the other people involved cared very little for me and
probably even wanted me to be hurt by these guys.

Anyway, I'm currently writing a follow-up tale to show his side, and how he
came to purchase time with me. It'll answer all your questions, and as soon
as I have it about ready I will send it to you first since you were kind
enough to write me about it.

Here are some of the details this guy shared with me:

He heard about me from the strip club where my mom and the other girls
worked. They would get guys to tell them their "kinks" or desires and then
make very large profits by providing them with access to their fantasies.

He said he could not believe how cute and small I was, and when he first
met me it was drugs and alcohol that fueled his ability to go through with
it all.

He said the lady (maybe my mom or maybe Rebecca) who handled the
transaction gave him suggestions, and before he went in to be with me, she
said things to him to fuel his desire and build the anticipation. Things
like "don't miss this chance" and "give it to him hard," etc., even telling
him that I preferred it when the man took control and I liked to be
dominated.

He said all of this led him to get over his fears and let his pent-up
longings take over to get everything he could out of all of the encounters
he had with me.

He said the first time he was a little tentative with me, so he didn't
spend much time on foreplay or doing everything he wanted, but instead he
just fucked my ass pretty quickly, if not a little roughly. He said I
cried, but at the time, he didn't really care, but afterwards, he felt
really bad about it.

Each time after that, up until the last time he was with me, he did more
and more with me, and he said that he did get progressively more dominant
in those encounters as well. He said it was like a drug, and that each time
he was with me he needed more from the encounter, and each time the lady he
talked with urged him to be harder and harder on me and to even make me
suffer.

He said after the last time he was with me, he left knowing that a monster
in him was released, and he said that he hated himself and promised to
never hurt me or any other boy again. He said he didn't hold completely
true to that promise he made himself, and he got arrested a few years later
for molesting a boy who he thought was willing, but who ended up telling on
him.

I read your stories with the boy whores in them. I really enjoyed them, and
loved many of your other stories. You do have a gift.

I will say that the description of your boy whores did not exactly match
me, but there was some truth in them.

For the first two years, ages 9 and 10, I was pretty much a silent
doll. Many men would make me talk dirty, or make me do certain things like
push back on them or get more into it, but for the most part I wasn't a
participant. The exception being the few nice men who would play games with
me and ease me into it.  With those men, I was a much more willing
participant and started to want to please them.

Around the time I was 11, I had probably been with over 150 men. I had
learned that each man had a different expectation as to what I should be,
whether a virgin, a slut, willing, or unwilling. I don't ever remember
actively thinking this, but now I realize I already knew to wait for the
man to give me certain signals as to what they wanted me to be.

I learned the hard way a few times that if a man wanted an innocent little
boy and he saw me as a slutty little whore, he would likely take out his
disappointment on me somehow. And the reverse was true. If they wanted a
willing slutty boy who wanted it bad and I played the virgin, then I would
also get it hard in some way. So I learned to wait, and to always let the
men take the early lead.

At 11, I have to say that this secret life of mine wasn't all bad, I felt
cool in some ways that I was part of this seedy world, and started to live
in it instead of just living through it.

So, parts of me really started to enjoy these encounters, not only
emotionally but sexually too, and I seemed to now love, if not need, the
praise that would come at the end if I gave the men what they wanted.

So now if I was asked to talk dirty, I would take great delight in saying
every filthy thing I'd ever heard, I'd try to shock the men if I thought I
could. And at this age, I started wanting the adrenaline feeling that only
came when things got intense. So, not only would I tell these men to fuck
me harder, I actually meant it as well.

I wish I could have taken a poll back then to know how many men preferred
virgins to sluts, but I think it would probably be about even.

The men who wanted me to be a virgin were easy to spot, they would treat me
kind, apologize often and ask if it hurt or if it was ok. At this point I
hated acting this way, I preferred for men to treat me harsh and to be able
to talk dirty and get rough. I earned that right, and at this point I just
wanted to show them that the little kid who was scared was long gone, and
now at 11 I was ready for anything, and experienced at everything.

So, I would often get annoyed with the men who coddled me too much. I
remember telling one guy to just fuck me already. So, I can see how the
characters in your stories could come to the point where they would talk
the way they do and act with a knowing sense about the men they pick up.

Outside the confines of the room where I got fucked by the men, I would
never talk that way or act that way. I kept it to that room.

It was also when I was a maybe 11 and a half that I started not only to try
to be what the men wanted me to be, but I also started asking them for
things that I wanted. Normal sex just wasn't enough for me now. I became
hooked on being scared, frightened, and needed pain to go along with the
sex for me to enjoy it. I'm still the same way now, and wish I wasn't.

I started to tell men "go harder," and I meant it. Now I would tell them
all "harder," even if they wanted me to be a virgin. I started to want
larger cocks, because they hurt more and that's what I needed. I would egg
men on to spank me, or to be rough in any way with me. It was like
something broke inside me and the only thing that made me calm was the
intense feeling of either pain or that focus you get when you're scared.

My least favorite guys became my favorites (meaning the ones that were
always too rough with me). I would challenge them, or taunt them and then
regret it later when I would be bruised and broken by what they would do to
me.

I think it was this change in me that made my handlers start to get
scared. They wanted me brutalized I suspect and hated that at some point I
started to enjoy it. When I was approaching 12, I started to just
straight-up ask men to do certain things to me, or with me, or to just hurt
me in some way.

Looking back now, I don't know how or exactly when I got the courage to
start to make it all about me. Before then, I seemed to always be there for
them, now I was in it for myself, and they simply showed up to give me what
I wanted.

My biggest fear when I was 9 was the handcuffs and being bound to the bed,
now at almost 12, it's what I wanted most. I started to ask them to
handcuff me and then do whatever they wanted. If they were too nice about
it, I started to be more specific about what I wanted, and then if they
were still too nice, I would just plainly tell them exactly what to do.

I always hoped they would take the lead and be the creative ones, and
subject me to something that was new and scary. Some did, but by this
point, not much was new and scary to me.  I also liked to be blindfolded,
another thing I really hated at 9, so I started to ask for that as well.

Many men who wanted a virgin or innocent little kid were very disappointed
now, but I think so many more were awestruck at such a small innocent
looking kid being so dirty and crude. At age 12 I still looked like I was
10, only weighed 78 pounds, and was only 4-foot-9. For some reason my mom
kept these records on me and gave them to my grandparents when they took
over guardianship.

It's nice to have the details and to see pictures of me at each of these
ages, knowing the pictures are complete lies as to the life I really led.

So anyway, I'm starting to ramble now. All I really wanted to say to you is
thanks for writing the stories you did. I'm looking forward to reading all
of them now, and would love to know your personal favorite.

Please write again,
Bennett

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

Thanks again, Bennett, for sharing a hot and intimate, raw and honest
memory. And since you asked, these are the the fictional boy whores I made
up who own a special part of my heart:

Badger in "Giving Me Lip"
http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/giving-me-lip/

Eduardo (Boy #6) in "Best Little Handjobs in Texas"
https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/best-little-handjobs-in-texas

Alexander in "Take a Gander at Alexander"
https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/adult-youth/take-a-gander-at-alexander

Matthijs in "Smell This 20"
https://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/urination/smell-this/smell-this-20

While they're not as real as you are, Bennett, they shared at least a
shadow of your history and psyche, and they'll wait here with me patiently
and eagerly, until you grace us with "True Vegas Boy Whore" Part 2.

I hope you do.

Thanks, man.
Zach

# # # # # # # # # # # # # # #