Date: Fri, 25 Aug 2006 09:32:58 +0200
From: A.K. <andrej@andrejkoymasky.com>
Subject: "The Choice" 07/15 (Adult Youth)

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THE CHOICE
by Andrej Koymasky (C) 2006
written on November 12th 1996
translated by the author
English text kindly revised
by Khasidi

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USUAL DISCLAIMER

"THE CHOICE" is a gay story, with some parts containing graphic
scenes of sex between males. So, if in your land, religion, family,
opinion and so on this is not good for you, it will be better not to
read this story. But if you really want, or because YOU don't care, or
because you think you really want to read it, please be my welcomed
guest.

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CHAPTER 7 - MEMORIES

The next morning when he opened his eyes, the beautiful young priest
stretched his body on his bed, recalling some of the euphoria of the
previous night. The contrasting smells from the night before had now
mixed together. They assaulted his nostrils, arousing confused thoughts
which assailed his mind. The smell of spices came from the kitchen
through the open door, the smell of dust, and last but not least, the
manly smell, and with it the memory of making love with Adriano.

The handsome man worried. He lay in agony. He seemed to be unable to
move or stand up as he usually did in the morning, jumping out of bed to
take his shower. This morning he was paralyzed. Because he knew himself
well, the priest understood that he would not be able to allow himself
to return to serenity by denying the existence of his problem. He would
not be able to simply shut out the difficulties he had to face from his
mind nor from his heart. No, he would have to confront them.

Gustavo knew very well that after what had happened the night before
nothing would ever be the same again. He knew that. There was no quick
setting glue you could buy that would put together the pieces of the vow
of chastity that he had broken. Well, yes, there was repentance and
forgiveness; but, in all honesty, he knew that he was anything but
repentant.

Nothing, nobody, could take away, or even subdue, the total joyous love
and devotion he felt for Adriano. He didn't want to lose him; what he
felt for the boy was true love: yet he didn't want to lose his priestly
ministry either, for he felt that he had a real vocation: but he knew
that one cannot have "his wife drunk and his barrel full", as the
proverb goes. It was true that some of his colleagues seemed to be able
to reconcile the two things in some way. But he was not their judge. He
could not see inside their hearts and souls.

It was easy to see, in the calm of the day after, that he was facing a
hard, difficult time. "To be a hypocrite or to be honest, that's the
problem," the young parson said to himself. How would he face this new
day, this new life? Honestly, of course, but... what did that mean in
concrete terms? Should he just chuck everything? His whole life? his
work? his vocation?

The parson threw an anxious glance at his alarm clock - it was eight
o'clock already... He had nothing urgent planned for the morning so he
could grant himself a little more time for his thoughts.

The man turned his big honey colored body on its side. In that position
he could again see Adriano's body, scooped in front of his... Emotions
from the previous night swarmed into his heart like a crowd of sweet but
overexcited children.

It was clear to him that they would not leave him. As soon as he closed
his eyes he clearly saw again the handsome perfect face of his Adriano.
"Ah, that boy! He's as strong as a lion! He's so resolute!" Gustavo felt
a kind of stupefied admiration. But he was not thinking only of
Adriano's beautiful, athletic body. "His firm penetrating eyes, his
sweet lips... even something about his straight well cut nose, like a
Greek hero... And then, his pride, his self assurance, his tenacity... A
knight errant, he is... a charming prince... my Little Prince who came
down from his star to understand..."

Sinking pleasurably into his meditation, the parson recalled the boy's
eyes with precision, bright, and yet able to confuse, his strong, dark
eyebrows that gave a peculiar intensity to his look. But he didn't
recall just his look, he recalled also the silent messages the confused
boy had sent to him when he had held him tightly in his arms. In an
entirely masculine way, the boy had looked at him and then given him his
first, unbelievable, kiss! At the memory of that kiss, Gustavo's heart
started to drum. Suddenly he felt the need, acute, and burning, for
something, anything, to hold tight in his arms... so he embraced the
quilt that still held the scent of the boy's seed, and thought again of
how sweet Adriano's lips were. How good to kiss. How good to savor their
salty-sweet taste. Kisses so deep they reached the soul. When their
naked bodies had intertwined that mixture of smells and tastes had been
like a magic balm for the wounds of the young priest's heart that until
then the priest had suffered in silence. When he had felt the heat of
Adriano's firm, strong body against his own, the musky, manly smell of
the boy's young body had impregnated the air. A sense of urgency
suddenly arose inside Gustavo to feel again with his entire being all of
the boy's body.

"Kyrie, eleision imas..." Father Gustavo murmured with a hoarse voice, "
Lord have mercy on us," while a wave, a tide of emotion seized him and
carried him away. It sent electrical shocks all over his muscled body,
all long his spine, until they concentrated in his genitals that were
now awakening with greater power. At the memory of the pleasure that the
boy had awakened in him, Gustavo's mind was invaded by a languorous
sensation. It had been madly wonderful to finally feel, to finally hold
the beautiful boy with the olive colored skin, alive and wildly
quivering, against his body, and to feel his virility awaken within his
hand, long, hard, firm, and shuddering...

And then, or rather before, during and after the explosion of the boy in
his hand, to feel the hot, hidden muscles clinging tightly to his
member, deeply embedded inside the boy, caressing it, massaging it with
intimate passion. He felt again the silent excitation seize him, the
young man with shining eyes remembered how the strong, intense
contractions of Adriano's virginal little hole around his member had
made him forget any prudent gentleness and had pushed him to thrust all
the way into the boy, with all of his virile energy, to rock inside the
welcoming, tight, hot, love channel until he reached his final
explosion.

He recalled all that but, in contrast to his usual fantasies, this time
Gustavo did nothing to suppress its existence. On the contrary, he
welcomed it with grateful warmth.

Gustavo suddenly pulled the quilt and sheet away from his naked and
fully aroused body. It was the first time he had ever slept in the nude.
He stood up from the bed and went to the chest, his member pulsating
harder than ever before. From the drawer he retrieved the tube of
glycerin he had used the previous night to take possession of the sweet
small ass of his Adriano, to take his virginity, to deflower the eager
boy, to consecrate Adriano as his exclusive possession.

Gustavo looked at the small tube lost in the palm of his big hand. Until
yesterday it had seemed trivial. He recalled with affectionate pleasure
the secret union they had consummated in his bed not so many hours
earlier. Thinking it over again, he still could not find any evidence
that he and Adriano had mistreated or sinned against one another. On the
contrary, the young handsome priest felt that the special intimacy that
he had shared with Adriano had been a real blessing bestowed on his
life, a sacred deed accomplished in the freedom and truth of Love.

He looked at his member which was pulsating at full extension. For the
first time in his life he saw that it was beautiful, not something to be
embarrassed or ashamed of at all. It was part of him, the part that
allowed him to become one with Adriano, to tell him of, and give him all
of his love with full sincerity and joy. So, recalling Saint Francis's
Canticle of Creatures, he spontaneously added a verse and his heart
joyously sang it, "And blessed be thou, my brother Penis, as you are hot
and strong and loving!" and this did not seem blasphemous to him. There
was no profanity.

He went back to his bed, put a couple of pillows under his head to raise
it, and looked at his body. He loved it: not out of narcissism, but
because this was the body that Adriano loved, and this was what he had
to give to his boy. He parted his legs and brought his glistening hand
to his straight member and spread the glycerin until it was shining in
the morning light that peeked through the Venetian blinds. With one hand
he began to lazily tease his own nipple, while with the other he
caressed his fiercely erected rod. Closing his eyes halfway, he tried to
imagine that it was Adriano caressing it. Of course, he had been right
to tell him, to order him, not to skip any classes... but how he would
have liked to have the boy here with him now! He licked his lips lightly
and fancied that it was Adriano's tongue doing it. He brushed his
nipples again and dreamed that it was Adriano's fingertips. He caressed
his swollen rod and wished it were Adriano's hands...

He continued his fantasy for a long time, relaxed and happy. He didn't
want to reach an orgasm, only to dream of his boy,. his splendid boy who
had given him his precious virginity. He felt proud to have been the
first and only one to pick that wonderful flower, to savor the delicious
fruit which had ripened only for him. And he thought with a certain
amazement of how rare it was in these days to find a nineteen year old
boy who was still a virgin. Since he had heard the confessions of many
teenagers, he knew how precocious teenagers had become and how
widespread sexual intercourse was at that age, either with one's own
gender or with the other. Thirteen to fifteen year old boys, both proud
and frightened at the same by the discovery of the pleasure that comes
from complete sexual union, looked for consolation in confession. He
always soothed them, telling them that it was a natural and beautiful
thing; but then he would shift at once to tell them about the importance
of love, and of sex as a demonstration not only of desire, but of total
love. Adriano, however, was nineteen, almost twenty years old. He had
never done anything with anybody even though he had felt that desire for
a long time now. He had remained pure and chaste for Gustavo, only for
Gustavo. And he had discovered with Gustavo that sex and love can and
must be the two faces of one coin.

Gustavo's heart filled with emotion and deeply grateful - grateful
towards his boy, grateful towards life, grateful towards God for his
goodness.

Slowly he abandoned his meditations, his contemplation, his sensations.
Regenerated and joyful, he went to take a shower and prepare for the new
day. He remained under the pelting water long enough for his still
unsatisfied member to return to its usual soft dimensions between his
strong thighs.

Gustavo Cirasa, as his athletic strong body would suggest, was by
constitution a man of virile inclinations and desires, male from head to
toe, a man who felt a very strong, irrepressible attraction towards
other men. His virility yearned towards virility in others. But, in
spite of the fact that his desires made themselves felt, the sacred
ordination to the priesthood didn't allow the young priest to conceal
any of the pretexts that other men could advance to justify their own
failures. Thanks to the sacred rite, he had been consecrated as a man of
God and put in the service of his flock, armed only with the Grace of
God and the Sacraments of the Church to face the battle field of life.

He had fought relentlessly, valiantly, and sincerely to remain faithful
in every way to his vocation, to his mission, even at the cost of
denying the stimulation of the flesh. In sincere adherence to his
vocation, Gustavo's spirit had been forged in a ten year series of
personal battles. Nevertheless, his basic honesty and self criticism had
made him painfully aware of his hidden desires. The valiant young priest
had fought with energy and merit against any temptation that might make
him abandon the straight way that had been laid out for him, against any
temptation that might make him surrender to his natural impulses.

Seeking refuge from a personal life of solitary ardors and frustrations,
he had plunged into an unremitting apostolate in support of the poor,
the weak, the discriminated against, and the abandoned. He took shelter
in an intense life of prayer and in the frequency of the sacraments.

All through his years at the Upper Seminary and up until that fateful
night with Adriano, Gustavo had hidden himself securely within the
vigorous and virile exercise of his apostolate with full dedication and
perfect self control. His only evasion had been sports. In this way he
had been able to attenuate and then overcome the recurring, feverish
impulse to seek the relief sexual activity would have brought. With
determination he had forbidden himself any fantasy, any manifestation of
desire, any dream that could divert him from the road he had chosen. He
had known that it would be a mistake to let himself give in, even if
just for an instant, to the seductions of pleasure.

About ten years before, at the end of his high school studies in the
Lower Seminary, Gustavo had made this mistake, even though soon after he
had renewed his struggle to strengthen himself and to resist the
irrepressible voice of his sexual drive.

During his Seminary years he had not yet been twenty years old. If it
were now possible to open Gustavo's heart like a book, even by reading
all of its pages carefully, nobody would have been able to find anything
different from what he now stated. Thanks to his genuine faith, the
young man had been able to triumph over the stimulations that had begun
at puberty, if not even before then. He had been able to hold back the
attraction he felt so strongly for his mates, for his own gender, and he
had never betrayed the purposes he had embraced. Occasionally, but very,
very rarely, and only in the Lower Seminary, in order to relieve the
incredible tension that accumulated in his growing young body, he had
let himself go, masturbating in private, - "A lesser sin, to avoid a
worse one," as his confessor had told him with lenient understanding.

>From his boyhood he had been a man of action, in any field of his life,
and even in problems of the heart. So, he trained his body in various
sports in the same way he trained his spirit. Since both the Church and
society condemn homosexuality, and the Church also condemned
masturbation, Gustavo maintained his virginity and purity at cost of
suffering and sacrifices.

He struggled against any physical manifestation of the desires of his
heart; but, since he had become a priest, at times Gustavo had not been
able to discern, to completely understand whether that struggle, that
fight, was totally right and justified. He had read a great deal on the
subject and had thought about it a lot. In any case, though in doubt, he
continued to fight. He had been faithful to the Church and the life he
had chosen. These exalted honesty, but, at the same time, they it denied
to an honest man, no matter how unsatisfied he might be, the simple
freedom to follow the most basic and natural inclinations of his heart.

In spite of these doubts, he had trusted the doctrine of his faith and
its teachings. He had judged them to be wiser, more illuminated and more
farsighted than he was. Even though he hadn't been able to stop the
thoughts and feelings that stirred inside him, the young priest had
silenced his growing doubts and forced himself to shoulder the burden of
full obedience to the Church out of his free will. In this way, he had
preserved his chastity. And he knew he had not been alone in his battle.

Until he met Adriano on that fateful night, Father Gustavo Cirasa had
avoided any adventurous temptations, keeping himself at the center of
the straight and narrow path, not even giving in to solitary sexual
gratification. Until the meeting with Adriano, Father Gustavo had
followed with good heart all that the Church had taught him to be right
and good. He had even believed that he was happy with this decision.

When his sexual urges became too strong, he had given vent to them in
sports, playing until he was physically exhausted. He had also been able
to forget himself by taking care of the others. His sleep had been
peaceful and without problems. But at times Father Gustavo had felt
awakening in himself an urgent need to which he was not able to give a
name, an urge for freedom. He had, at times, felt oppressed by a
melancholic sense of loneliness to which he was not able to give an
interpretation. Sometimes a thirst for honesty and sincerity invaded
him, even though he was not able to understand what caused it. At least
this had been true. Now he had suddenly awoken as from a long sleep. His
eyes, which had long been shut, had been opened by Adriano's confession.

Gustavo had not been a virgin when he had accepted Adriano's compelling
request, though he might almost have been so. The repentance and the
forgiveness he had asked for and obtained had given him back the Grace
of God, and had given him back his virginity also, or so theologians
asserted.

He had not even surrendered during all those long ten years to the
temptation of solitary masturbation, even though it was such a little
thing, because he remembered how it had caused a more serious fall. It
had lead to those few times with Daniele, the hot-blooded Daniele, who,
as soon as they had been able to withdraw to have some intimacy without
running serious risks, had given himself to Gustavo with enthusiasm and
then taken Gustavo with passion. But there hadn't been love between the
two of them. There had been little more than a complicit friendship. The
pleasure had been almost purely physical, though it had, at least in
part, relieved their loneliness. The little Daniele! And yet already so
virile, so well developed, and so filled with ardor!

But the vision of Daniele vanished from the eyes of the young parson.
The reality of his desire for Adriano, but above all of Adriano's love
for him, dominated Gustavo as he lay back down on his bed and again
began to caress his rigid penis. A vision of a future filled with love
and joy, too bright to be obscured by memories of times long past,
appeared in front of his eyes clear and bright as daylight. It erased
the vision of those few, pleasurable, secret meetings with Daniele that
Gustavo had so quickly put an end to.

Flashes of heat - an exquisite heat - rose in his flesh, making him
eager to be able to finally mount the smooth naked body of Adriano, now
shining clearly in his fantasy. "Oh, my boy!" he suddenly said aloud in
the empty room. He felt submerged by urgency while his body vibrated
spasmodically. "Ohhh, my, my boy!" he almost shouted this time, invoking
his Adriano, and finally starting to masturbate himself with sweet
violence, tightening his fist up and down along the length of his
considerable virility. Each hammering of his fist beat silently against
his groin. The excursions of his hand were strong and long enough to
make the contracted sack which held his testicles jump up and down,
slapping in rhythm against his slightly parted thighs.

The young parson was really excited, and differently than he had been in
the experiences he had had while in the Lower Seminary. He had no
remorse, no doubts, he was fully enjoying the happy discovery of a
sexuality that wasn't aimed at himself but was completely permeated with
love, completely directed towards his beloved one.

Gustavo's body, sweating in spite of the cold, vibrated on the bed. It
rose up with a strong spasm and formed an arc of tensing muscles while
his shoulders and heels sank into the mattress. He was overcome by the
roaring emotions that his adult body could at last savor without
restriction. Each muscle of his athletic and beautiful body was
perfectly defined in the powerful tension that seized him. "Adriano!" he
called out, invoking his boy, his lover, for the ultimate time. Like a
geyser, strong jets of his seed rose in tall vertical tall columns and
fell down again upon him, warm, pearly, viscous, drops that sprinkled
onto his chest and belly in a warm, pleasurable rain.

Completely spent by his physical passion, Gustavo's sweaty back
collapsed back onto the mattress, while a strange, intoxicated trembling
and a wild moaning came from the splendid male's lips. His eyelids
slowly lowered over his eyes, veiling their passion - like a theater
curtain coming down at the end of a performance. Gustavo let himself be
transported into a joyful sleep, peaceful and deep, without dreams,
while the morning advanced on the now wide-awake city.

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CONTINUES IN CHAPTER 8

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In my home page I've put some more of my stories. If someone wants to
read them, the URL is
http://andrejkoymasky.com
If you want to send me feed-back, or desire to help revising my English
translations, so that I can put on-line more of my  stories in English
please e-mail at
andrej@andrejkoymasky.com

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