Date: Wed, 06 Feb 2002 12:06:10 -0500
From: Tom Cup <tom_cup@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Innocents by Richard Dean - Part 1 Chapter 6 Gay - A/Y
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This story is part of the Tom Cup Library and may be accessed at
http://tomcup.iscool.net or at http://www.eroscities.com
Also available at the Tom Cup Library:
The Innocents Part 3 Chapter 2 Added 02/06
David's Christmas Present - Ch. 18 Added 01/31
In Memory of Steve Chapter 6 Added 01/29
Kevin Part 3 - Donna Chapter 3 Added 01/28
Terms of Living Chapter 8 Added 01/27
Age Before Beauty Chapter 1 Added 01/26
Calvin Part 3 Chapter 31 Added 01/24
Stephen Miller's Journal Chapter 8 Added 01/21
A Place Called Home Chapter 9 Added 12/30
Of Our Teenage Years Chapter 1 Added 12/19
Private Lessons Chapter 1 Added 12/15
Tommy-Returning Home Chapter 5 Added 12/09
Coming Soon to The Tom Cup Library of Sites: Bob Nelson's Gay Vikings!
Featuring the serial: Bagboy!
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************************************************************************
The Innocents
By Richard Dean
Part 1
Chapter 6
A sad difficult day
Paulo left us to go to work. Toninho and I decided we would walk about,
window shop, and talk about our united future. With my reassuring hand on
his shoulder we strolled down the Rua Visconde de Piraja, an elite shopping
area, and looked in a few windows which garnered our interest. When stopped
Toninho would move in front of me and press his body backward into mine
which allowed me to cross my arms in front of him to enfold him. It was not
an unusual sight to see parents do this to their children whether male or
female, so it evoked no upturned noses in haughty sneers by the upper and
middle class citizens of an enlightened Rio de Janeiro. Earlier I took
Toninho to my barber and had his hair styled as was mine. He could easily
pass for a "Yanqui" now, which made him feel more involved and closer to me
than ever. As I am of Scandinavian heritage and his a mixture of Latin
blood, we could never pass for parent and child, but I could certainly pass
as a loving relative out enjoying the sights with my favorite nephew. And
so it was, that we allowed our comportment to be displayed. We stopped in
at a record shop and purchased several CDs that Toninho wanted ("I must have
this, Pae!") of the "PetShopBoys" and Rita Lee of the "Os Mutantes."
I expounded to Toninho an interesting sidenote: Rita Lee (Jones) is a
descendant of one of the original group of settlers who arrived in Brazil in
1865 and onward to escape the debaucherous rape and scurrilous pillage,
illegal theft of property and acreage that were among the atrocities
committed by the Carpetbaggers and Freedmen Bureau, who took over the
ravaged and decimated Southern States after the Civil War during the
so-called Reconstruction Period. They became known in Brazil as Os
Confederantes.
Approximately 2,000 to 10,000 Confederates self-exiled themselves, fleeing
from Federal Troops who were sent to block them from escape, into Mexico,
Cuba and on to Brazil where the Emporer Dom Pedro II met many of them
dockside with a warm welcome, as he knew Brazil needed the expertise of the
improved farming implements and techniques they had gained in the
agriculture of cotton and tobacco. Many of these ex-patriots were medical
and dental Doctors. Descendants of those doctors today, still retain the
prominent names of their forebears in the same fields if one only looked
into the phone book. The largest contingent of the exiled settled in the
State of Sao Paulo about 90 kilometres from the city of Sao Paulo and formed
a community which split into two becoming known then as well as today,
Americana (approximately 100,000 people) and Vila Santa Barbara, now known
as Santa Barbara d'Oeste. Through the ensuing years many of those settlers
retained the language and writing nuances of the Southern style and
tradition. Flying the battle flag of the Confederacy at the cemetery where
most of those confederates were buried. They had to establish their own
cemetery as the Catholic Church denied anyone burial in one of their
cemeteries that were not true members of the faith. Because of the
intolerance of the Church, they started their own churches with Protestant
affiliations with the Methodist and Episcopal churches of the United States.
They established their own schools for their children and also built
Universities that became the cornerstone of the excellent Federal University
system of modern day Brazil today. From 1900 onward the descendants married
and became integrated totally within the Brazilian social structure. As I
explained this to Toninho, he was thrilled to hear that Rita Lee (Jones)
spoke both Portuguese and English and that her roots were established from
Norte Americano heritage.
"Pae, you know so much. Why aren't you a teacher rather than a
seismologist? You wouldn't have to go away so much."
"Toninho, we are all teachers. Every man, woman and child. When we speak
we instruct. That is the essence of teaching. The use and command of the
words that we know come from our teachers who have taught us to also to read
and write. There, too, the word has importance. Without teachers we could
neither speak nor read. Without speech or reading and writing, how could I
tell you how much I love you? How would you know? Without the word, I
could not write you to tell you how deeply you have affected me, how
completely you've enhanced my life. How could I tell you how appreciative I
am for your blind faith in me? And how could I tell you that you've got a
cute ass, too?"
"Lets go home now, Pae. Lets go home and do it. I'm so hard it hurts me."
"We'll go home, Ton, after we've met with Paulo, who is expecting us. We
can't disappoint him now can we?"
"Nooo, but he would understand, Pae. I know that he would."
"I suspect he would if it were another time, Ton. He wants to share
something special with us. That wouldn't be fair to our friend and brother."
"Lets go then," he said with urgency in his tone.
Arriving at the restaurant, we saw Paulo who waved to us to be seated at our
special table, which allowed our view of the beach across the way and the
athletic prowess displayed by bronzed and golden young men and women as they
played futvollei (volleyball) or frisbee among other games and sports.
Further past the shoreline we could see countless number of surfboarders and
some few sailboards too.
"Pae, don't look, look at me. You pee me off today." He said inserting new
English words that he had picked up.
"Sorry, honey. I will always look, but you don't have to worry about me
doing anything with any of those young men. I have all I can handle and
ever want at home, sweetheart."
Paulo arrived laden with dishes of various kinds of seafood, grilled,
broiled, and fried, which he presented to us with evident pride of
accomplishment. "You're going away dinner, Ricardo. Toninho and I thought
you would like to remember this meal for the length of time you are away
from us, correct Toninho?" Toninho nodded with a conspiratorial smile
beaming from his face.
"It's wonderful, guys, but it's too much. We'll never be able to eat all of
this."
"I'll package the remainder and take it home for us. Toninho and I can make
short work on this tomorrow, eh, buddy?"
"Of course", rejoined Toninho
We lit in with aggressive appetites and soon had completed our fill. Sated
and settling back in our chairs while sipping after dinner cafezinhos, we
chatted amiably back and forth until Paulo joined us and gathered up what
remained of the dinner, wrapped it and we walked together to our little
home. Paulo asked if he had permission to take "Herbie" to Niteroi to visit
a friend. I gave him my instant approval, but insisted he come back to take
me to the airport by 10 pm as my flight to the northern state of Ceara was
scheduled to leave at 11 pm.
Finished with packing my suitcase, I started to undress to take my shower.
Toninho slipped his clothes off at the same time. I said nothing about this
to him. I went into the bathroom and started the shower and held my hand
waiting for the hot water to course through the pipes before entering the
stall. Toninho was directly behind me giving me a bit of a push, so he
could follow me in. It was a bit of a tight fit, but it seemed snug enough
and we could wash ourselves without poking each other. We washed one
another with playful glee, giggling and teasing each other with pulls and
jabs. Getting out, we dried ourselves and walked hand in hand to our
bedroom, whereupon we lay upon the bed and wrapped ourselves together until
we seemed as one. In tight embrace we kissed and licked each other. This
evening's romantic interlude was much like that of the previous night,
except it wasn't filled with the uneasiness of animal lust or excess. We
were confident, assured, and had nothing to prove; nor did we need to test
each other's limitations. Toninho's ejaculations numbered twice that of
mine, as we switched positions in all types of manner, some that I had never
thought of before. It was a learning experience for us both. Once again,
sexually sated, we lay supine to each other and napped, while wrapped
together arms enjoined locking us together. If one moved the other would
know it. I cannot recall being more satisfied, and drained, as I was that
night.
We awoke at about 8:30 and showered once again and readied our dress, so we
were available to join Paulo when he arrived to take us to the airport. We
looked out from our balcony into the starry clear night. We were sad that
we would have to be apart for such a long time, but the sobs and tears
didn't flow as they had the night before. Toninho reminded me to write him
everyday. I could only promise that I would write for certain, every other
day. He said he would have Paulo write me as he instructed by dictating to
him what to say of the events as they happened. Toninho assured me he would
apply himself to work on his studies and household chores as he had
promised. I told him I had no doubt about that. I knew once he promised me
to do something, he would be honor bound to follow it through, even though
it might be a task. He would do it. He reminded me we could break no rules
of our family. I assured him I understood clearly and even smiled at his
veiled hint that when out of town, the cat might play. We promised each
other, so there would be none of that, other than self-manipulation. No
touching of others inappropriate to our demands.
I called Varig (VAH-ra-gee) to confirm my reservations. All was in order.
Paulo arrived well before the deadline, and we took off for Aeroporto Galeao
the main domestic and international airport of Rio. The other and smaller
of the two, Aeroporto Santos Dumont, usually took care of the shuttle
flights to Sao Paulo and the Capital city of Brasilia. We arrived at the
airport with 1 and ½ hours to spare, found parking for "Herbie" and walked
to the terminal a short distance away. Toninho, with manly affirmation,
offered to carry my bag. My "little man" was my protector and bodyguard, it
seemed. As the minutes ticked off, I noticed Toninho starting to sniffle a
bit, but was valiantly holding it within himself. I was tentatively fearful
of my own breakdown when it was time to leave, but played the bravado act
myself. Paulo could see our concern from where he stood, watching us with
studied concentration.
"First Class Passengers, may now board Flight #431 to Fortaleza, through
door # 1" came the announcement. I took a deep breath, and gave Paulo a hug
and handshake saying to him: "Take care of my boy, babe. He is so
important to me, eh?"
"Of course, Good flight, Godspeed. Write us, OK?" I nodded unable to
speak. Turning to Toninho, I saw him rush into my arms, copious tears
flowing, blubbering "Please don't go, Pae. Two months is too long to be
away from me." Another passenger passing by us remarked to her companion,
"Isn't that touching, that young man doesn't want his Pae to leave.
Ohhhhh." Her companion nodded in silent agreement.
Rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head, barely able to speak
coherently, I said, "Toninho I must. We've talked this out before. I love
you Son, I'll be back in two months straight away. You and I will write
each other. I've got to go, Son. Please release me, Toninho!" Paulo came
up behind Toninho and pulled us apart, holding him securely as Toninho
turned and wept openly into Paulo's chest, while Paulo rubbed his back and
"Shushed" him, trying to soothe the fear and loss away. Paulo indicated to
me by his right hand to "Go...don't make things worse by staying, board your
flight". I understood his gestures. I turned, handed the ground agent my
ticket, and with guilt-ridden steps, tears streaming down my face, I boarded
my flight. I dared not turn around to glance at my two despairing souls,
fearing I would walk back and never look back on my work, again.
*****
I received the first letter within the week:
Dear Ricardo:
Since you left it's been gloomy and sodden with tears around this place.
Toninho does his work, and tries to study, but his heart isn't in it. If I
allowed him to do it, he would go into your room and lie on the bed with
your pillow stuffed beneath his face. His appetite has left him. I've had
to threaten him in order to get him to eat something. He seems lost, and
walks around touching everything that is yours. In the evening we do sit on
the balcony and he will sit next to me and hold me with tears and light
conversation.
During the day, when I go to work, I leave him at the computer, while he
tries to write you a letter, typing one letter at a time, and often
referring to a dictionary so he won't mis-spell a word. He thinks you will
not approve if he makes a mistake. I told him to write as you would talk.
Those are the words you want to read. I tell him. He will sit by the phone
for hours, waiting for it to ring, in case you decide to call.
Frankly Ricardo, I am getting sick over this. When I ask him to assist me
in locating his Grandmother, he shows no interest. I did manage to drag him
from the apartment and we took "Herbie" to the favela to see if we could
locate some of his previous neighbors who might have a clue. We had no
success in that, but his interest did not merit the trip.
We'll of course, I'll hang in on this end, waiting for your first letter or
phone call. With warmest and deepest regards, I am
Your friend,
Paulo
I had written religiously every other day, but mail pickup from the Research
Vessel to which I am assigned is a weekly event. It would take well over a
week until the first batch of letters start arriving in Rio. So I decided I
would make a ship to shore radiotelephone call home. The only problem with
that was that anyone on the same wavelength could hear the transmission.
That did not suit me, but I had to call to let them know, I understood and
cared that they were feeling such remorse. The first transmission didn't go
through. On the second try the Ship to Shore operator connected to my
number. It rang once, and was instantly answered by Toninho.
"Alo Pae? Pae?"
"This is the Ship to Shore operator do you wish to accept a radio
transmitted telephone call from Ricardo Dean?"
"Operator, operator", I yelled, "please speak in Portuguese, he doesn't
understand much English."
"Yes sir, thank you," the operator answered and then to Toninho in
Portuguese, "Isto o Navio e Tosquiou o operador voce deseja aceitar um radio
transmitido telefonema de Ricardo Dean?"
Toninho was ecstatic and answered, "Sim, sim, lhe, operador, Agradecem. Pae?
Voce esta la, Pae?" Onde voce esta? Eu tenho esperado para ter noticias
algo de voce. Voce prometeu que voce escreveria. Nos nao recebemos nada,
Pae." -- "Yes, yes, thank you Operator. Dad? Is that you Dad? Where are
you? I've been waiting for a letter from you. You promised that you would
write. We've received nothing, Dad."
"I know Son, I've written you every other day as I promised, but the mail
does not get picked up from our ship but once each week. So it's going to
take several more days for my letters to start arriving in Rio. I thought I
had best call you, when I got the letter Paulo sent to me. He is worried
about you my boy. He claims you will only eat when he insists on it. He
told me he was proud that you were doing all the work in the apartment, and
studying too, but did not seem to have your heart in it. Listen to me,
Toninho. I will not have you causing Paulo any problems where it makes him
sick to think that you are so sad that you cannot do the things you must do
to adjust to my absence. Things will get easier for you, once our letters
get sorted out through the mails, OK? I promise you that all will be fine.
If I hear anymore about you not cooperating with him, when I get home, I
shall take you over my knee and spank you soundly, do you hear me, boy?"
"Yes sir, I promise. Daddy, I missed you so much it makes me sick to my
stomach. I can't eat when it feels that way. Daddy, Paulo got me peed off
at him the other day, too. I was doing the wash and I couldn't find one of
your socks. I asked Paulo to help me find it. I looked throughout our
apartment. I don't know where it is. Daddy if I lost it, I'm so sorry.
I'll buy you another one, OK? Don't be peed at me Daddy!" That's when I
heard him crying.
"Toninho, I am not peed at you. Hell Son, its only a sock. They seem to
disappear for no apparent reason anyway. I don't expect you to be a perfect
boy. I am not a perfect man. Paulo is not a perfect man. I love you and
am proud of you, OK?"
"Yes, Dad."
"Is Paulo there, Ton? I would like to talk to him for a couple of minutes,
then he will give the phone back to you, so we can say our goodbyes. This
is costing me much money, Son. It's nearly $10.00 US for each minute.
Please call him to the phone, OK?"
"He's in his room. I'll call him. Don't hang up Dad, please don't hang
up!" "Paulo", he yelled loudly into the mouthpiece, "Paulo its Pae, he
wants to talk to you. Hurry you're costing him money."
"Thanks, Ton, hello, Ricardo. Thank God you called. This kid of yours is
driving me crazy. This is the first I've seen him smile since you left.
Jesus, you've got to straighten him out. I sure as hell, can't."
"Serves you right," I said laughing, "He tells me you yelled at him the
other day and peed him off."
"Yelled at him? Oh, yeah, he must be talking about that goddamned sock.
You know he couldn't find one of your socks and was tearing the place apart
trying to find the damned thing. I told him to let it stay lost. He
started getting excited with worry that you would blame him for losing your
damned sock. I told him to shut up about the fuckin' sock. I would buy you
a pair of socks, when you got back. He wouldn't hear about it. Everything
has to be perfect to him, because you told him so. That's when I really
lost it. I told him to forget about the sock, and get out of my sight until
he calmed down about it. Well, I have to tell you Ricardo when he lost it I
lost it. It was a genuine catfight without the scratching and biting. We
sounded like two old women arguing about whose lottery ticket won the 100
Reals prize. Shit it's funny now, but at the time I wanted to punch him
out, he wouldn't stop his worrying about that fuckin' sock! What does he
mean about I'm costing you money? Is he still carping about that damned
sock? How much do I owe you for a pair of socks, Ricardo?"
I couldn't stop laughing about the sock incident. Then Paulo started
laughing about it too.
"Oh Mother of God, now he thinks we're laughing about him, and he's starting
to cry. Toninho, we weren't laughing at you, we were laughing about a crazy
old sock that managed to get itself lost. Maybe your Dad packed it away
with his stuff that he took with him. I promise you, Ton, we are not
laughing at you. You are much too important to us to do that to you, OK?
Ricardo, I'm hugging him now, and he wants the phone back so he can talk to
his Pae. Thanks for calling Pal I do appreciate it. Maybe things can get
back to normal now. Did you get our letter?"
"I did, thanks. I'm sorry I burdened you with this, Paulo. You're the only
one I could trust to do this for me. By the way, you owe me $100 for my
sock. Let me say goodbye to Toninho, please."
"Take it out in trade. Here he is, thanks Ricardo, and I mean THANKS!"
"Toninho, I need to cut this conversation as soon as possible. You mind
your manners with Paulo and mind what he asks of you. Don't take things so
seriously, Son. I know of only two things in my life that hold any value to
me. That's you and Paulo. Remember that. I love you, Son. Your letters
should be coming to you tomorrow or the next day, OK?"
I'll remember what you say to me. I love you too, Pae. Hurry home, I miss
you."
"I'll do that Ton. Give Paulo a kiss and a hug, before you go to bed every
night, so he'll know it's from both of us. You are my most favorite Son.
Goodbye my love."
"Pae, I'm your only son, you know that. OK, goodbye."
I hung up with satisfaction that all was now well at home. I could
concentrate on my work and allow the clock to tick off its' minutes until I
returned to my family.
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