Date: Fri, 05 Oct 2001 13:47:45 +0000
From: Darren Talbot <davidtalbot50@hotmail.com>
Subject: the library, chapter twelve

The Library
chapter 12

*all cautions regarding the legality of this story in your area and the
fictionality of it's content are applicable

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I handed Josh his mug of hot tea, burning my fingers a bit to make sure I
had the handle out for him. He took it gingerly, cradling the mug with the
fingers on his other hand, "What's this?" he asked.

"Tea. Earl Grey, my favorite. It's very hot, though." I said, as if on cue,
he withdrew his hand from the mug's side and shook it vigorously.

"Ow!" He exclaimed. I grinned some.

"Come on." I said, turning toward the screen door. I had the slats closed,
but I wanted to show him the only part of the condo that I really liked: the
view. I reached through them and pushed the sliding glass door open. I
stepped through and heard his feet just behind me. As we stepped out onto
the balcony, I head his sharp intake of breath.

From my balcony, we could see the bay in all it's glory. Deep blue today,
normally it ranged from an emerald green to a startling light blue. However,
Fall was upon us. Everything would start to darken in it's turn. The
expressway stretching from the neighboring city to this side of the shore
like a black ribbon on this gift.

"Daniel! It's beautiful!" He exclaimed, rushing to the rail.

I slowly walked up behind him and wrapped an arm around his chest, "This
time, you're right. It is. It's the whole reason that I bought the place."

We sat there, enjoying the warm, lemon taste of the tea and the perfection
of the scenery. His body pressed up against me. His breathing on mine. His
heart.

"I never wanted to." He said, quietly.

"Wanted to what?" I asked, craning my head down some to hear him.

"To do things with dad. I just knew that if I didn't, he'd hurt Chrissy." he
said, the resignation in his voice was so powerful, I teared up some. I
blinked them away. Time to be strong for his sake.

"Josh," I said, after a time, "What happens...what happens if we can find
someplace for both you and Christopher to go, but it means that you and I
can't see each other for a time?" I asked.

He turned around quickly, spilling some of his tea, "No! No!"

"Relax, Josh. It's just that we have to accept that we are going to have to
involve the law if we're to get you and Chris to safety. Have to. No
choice."

"Couldn't we just run away?"

"To where, Josh?"

He fell silent. His whole face went flat. He turned back to the rail so I
couldn't see it, but I  knew.

"We could never find a place that'd want someone as old as me, anyway.
Chrissy would go someplace nice...have a mom..." He trailed off.

"Josh, what happened to your mom?"

"Dad killed her."

"What?" I asked, incredulous.

He turned back to me, "Chrissy and I, we had a little brother, but he died,
too."

I sat down hard on one of the cheap lawnchairs I'd bought. Josh just stood
there at the rail, "He would have been born in just a few more weeks,
but..."

I let him pause, but he continued, "Dad always beat on mom, just like on me.
Like I said, Daniel, he knew where to put the bruises so no one would see.
How to do it so that they healed really quick."

"I don't understand." I said.

Josh came over and sat down, forcing his way up against me. I cuddled him
with one arm, pulling up to my chest, nuzzling his head under my chin.

"Mom was eight and a half months pregnant with my other little brother when
she found some of the tapes, by accident. She got really mad at him and was
packing Chrissy and me up. We were going to Oregon. She said that's where
her dad was."

He paused again, taking a big, ragged breath, then "He came home early,
though. He saw what she was doing, and they fought. She told me to take
Chrissy into my room and lock the door and not to open it unless it was her.
I didn't want to go. I tried to hit him so maybe he'd beat on me and not
her, but he shoved me, and then Chrissy tried to run at him. I grabbed
Chrissy and we went into my room and I held on to him. God, I held on so
tight."

He started to sob, again, quietly, "She was yelling. I've never heard
someone cuss like she did that day, and then I heard him hitting her, but I
heard her hitting back. Then I heard a big thump against a wall. I think he
shoved her into a wall really hard," big pause, then, "She started
screaming, and I came out of the room. I told Chrissy to lock the door and
not open it unless it was me and I ran out of the room. Mom was on the floor
next to the wall, and she had blood all over her legs."

He stood up and walked over to the railing, "He must've shoved her up
against the wall, and something happened. He yelled and left. Mom told me to
get Chrissy and she put our bags in the car. I thought we were going to
Oregon. I thought we were safe." He said, and finally broke down.

I stood up and went up behind him,"What happened."

He cleared his throat, "She went to the hospital and they did some things,
and said that she was going into labor. They asked her what had happened and
she said that she'd fallen really hard. I don't know why she didn't tell
them. Why didn't she tell them?," he layed his head down on his hands on the
rail, but continued, "She told me to look out for Chrissy, and that she
loved me. She left her purse so I could feed Chrissy, in case she had to
stay a long time. She told me to remember our clothes and things were in the
car. And then she was gone."

I wrapped my arm around his chest again, unable to say anything. He
continued,"About five hours later, the doctor came out, and I knew. I just
knew. He was covered in blood, Daniel. Head to toe. 'son' he said 'I'm
afraid that your mother's pregnancy had severe complications'. I know it's
horrible, Daniel, I know it is, but I was hoping that it was just my little
brother. That he'd just died and that mom was okay. But she wasn't. She died
as soon as he was born. They both died. They both died." He sobbed and I
picked him up, holding his thin frame to me as if he were a small child.

I carried him inside, slowly. I knew that he'd had enough for a while. I
layed him down on my bed, head on the pillow. I took his socks off, then
undid his pants and set them aside. I took his shirt off, folding it neatly
atop his jeans. Then I pulled the light blanket I kept on the bed over him,
tucking it in around him. Hopefully, he'd sleep for some time. I kissed his
forehead, and pushed my fingers through his hair. I reached over and turned
off the reading lamp, then left the room.


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*end chapter twelve.

*questions and comments always more than welcome!