Date: Tue, 19 Nov 2002 20:10:13 +0000
From: Alfie Forever <beanderful@hotmail.com>
Subject: Toff, Chapter 2

The following story is total fiction. Any relationship to persons living or
dead is purely accidental and unintended.

This story depicts sexual acts between people of the same sex (male), one
of whom is under age.  If you find this concept distasteful, if it is
illegal where you live, or if you are underage, please stop reading now.

This story is dedicated to my friends and the moderators and
administrators of www.boybliss.net, the best Bulletin Board
on the net for men who love and protect boys and for boys in
need.  To special friends, including my technical editor,
who know who they are and have my undying thanks.  I am
especially grateful to Mikey and Julius, who are undergoing
very difficult times.  My thoughts are with you boys, and I
wish you peace.

In particular, I am thankful to Ganymede, whose masterful
recent chapters of his story "69" have encouraged me to
write again after a year of dormancy.  Thanks G.  Ganymede,
you will find a theme in a later chapter that you use quite
often  (NO, not that one!).  Perhaps you can guess as it
begins to be revealed here in this chapter?

Henry James wrote of a "kernel" from which a story grows.
In particular, he speaks of a kernel of experience, as if
every story must once have been a tiny bit of life.  It is
true of this story as well.  On the first day of January
2000 I was on a flight home to America from Turkey and
across the aisle from a beautiful boy who was traveling
alone.  We exchanged perhaps 20 words the whole flight, but
he captivated me all the same, and over the Atlantic I had
vivid dreams of this dark-haired boy of the thoroughly
contemporary look.  He reminded me facially of the poet
Diane Wakoski from a poster for a poetry reading from the
mid-60's.  She wore "Edith Head" glasses and was drawing a
bead down the barrel of a revolver, but the revolver held a
white rose.  Yes, that is the kernel from whence comes Toff,
a boy I dreamed of nearly two years ago.  I wish him well.
/nifty/gay/incest/cales-life/

If you have comments, I go by the name of Alfie at
www.boybliss.net, and am a frequent visitor there.  You may
reach me at beanderful@hotmail.com.


Toff, Chapter Two

Toff and I walked around the garden and up to the back door
of the Bareb house.  We were both in our khakis and shirts.
Toff wore an orange polo shirt that set off his dark good
looks just right.  I found myself once again staring at his
lovely and delicate features as we walked the narrow garden
path, and also inexplicably wishing I had an orange shirt to
match his.  As I thought this I flushed a little.

Toff was silent, evidently thinking of all the people in the
house who knew of his being attacked, teased and humiliated
earlier by the other boys.  I couldn't blame him for that,
for sure.  Still, I wanted to make him feel good about
himself, and I figured that might be rough since we were
about to go amongst the Lebanese side of his family.

"Toff, do we have to knock, or should we just go right in?"
I wasn't sure of the protocols at all.

Toff just grabbed the door and yanked it open, seemingly
perturbed at me for even asking the question.  He looked at
me with a scowl, as if I wasn't capable of protecting him
from the embarrassment to come.  I hung back at the edge of
the door for a moment, then followed him closely.

I reached out and grabbed him before we got completely in
the house.

"Toff, we need to talk for just a minute.  I bet some of the
talk during dinner is going to be embarrassing to you.  How
do you want be to handle it?"

"Flip, can you try to make them talk about other stuff?  I
mean, I don't want to talk about being pissed on, you know?"
He was near tears and he sidled up to me to blurt this out.

"OK, Toff, I'll do what I can.  What I want you to do is be
as normal as you can and introduce me to all your relatives
like you're in charge, ok?  Hey, that will make you look
strong, so then they might not even think about the other
stuff.  Does it sound like a deal?  I knew nothing about how
to deal with this kind of situation, but that seemed like it
might be a good strategy.

He nodded to me and then led me through the hall, past the
kitchen, and then into the dining room, where we were
slammed into by another small boy.  He was rounding the
corner and straight at me so I let my arms down, set them
into his armpits and scooped him up.  Toff just looked at me
as I stared this other little boy in the face.

"So, you must Badr, I presume?"  Yeah, I assumed that Badr
belonged to the Bareb household, though I didn't know
exactly how he was related.

The boy quivered in my arms, his brown eyes as round as
saucers and his body rigid.  He wiggled and stirred in my
arms, but I held him firm, shifting one arm to hold him
under his armpits while moving the other to cradle his
buttocks.  Just as I got him under control Anissa came into
the room.

"Philip, so you have met Badr, today's little devil!  I
assume you know he was part of the problem today?"  Anissa
had a smile on her face, but her countenance was stern.

"Oh, is this the infamous Badr, Anissa?"  I held him tight,
my fingers squeezing his butt to make him stay still while
my other hand buried his face into my shoulder.

"Yes, Phil, and he was involved today.  Dinner is in twenty
minutes.  Do you want to handle this?  I hope you will."

I looked at Anissa and could tell from her eyes that she
thought that would be best, though I knew nothing of how to
be the disciplinarian here in this culture.  Still, it
appeared since I was Toff's special friend that I was going
to have to exact the punishment.

"Anissa, I'll deal with this, but Toff and I will have to
take Badr here out for a minute.  I hope dearly we won't be
late for dinner, but if we are, rest assured that Badr will
be with us, and we'll make sure he's back to eat later.  Do
I smell lamb?"  Badr squirmed in my arms, but I held him
tight, all 75 pounds of him, and headed for the door.
"Toff?  Follow me."

Toff looked lost for a moment, as if perhaps he'd committed
the cardinal sin of ratting on his peers, but he hung his
head a bit and followed obediently.  I shifted Badr in my
arms so his head was over my right shoulder and walked back
out the door and across the garden to the swimming pool,
Toff walking directly behind me.  Toff was quiet, though,
and I wasn't at all sure what I was going to do about this
punishment.

I walked all the way out to the pool behind the guesthouse
we were staying in, sat down on a chair, and pivoted Badr
until he was sitting in my lap facing me.  He was a bit
smaller than Toff - about 4'6" and 75 pounds, and his dark
face and dark hair registered half surprise and half
mischief.  I wasn't sure what to make of him - maybe he
thought this was an extension of the game in which they had
stripped and humiliated Toof.  Toff sat in the chair next to
me with a look on his face that was hard to decipher.  I
wasn't sure if he was eager to punish Badr or embarrassed to
bring up any of this at all.

"Look at me, Badr."  When he turned to me I beheld a dark
headed boy with deep brown eyes, a large and pointed nose.
His hair was tousled and messy, as if he had not bathed in
days, but he didn't smell, though that may have been because
he was so young.  I was guessing he was younger than Toff.
Maybe ten years old or so.

"Badr, I found Toff tied up naked today, and I want to know
what you know about that.  Look me in the eyes, OK?"  I
twisted his head around gently and saw he wasn't so shy.  He
peered at me as if he was in charge or something, but
clearly the twinkle in his eye said that he'd done something
wrong and he knew it.

"Are you Mr. Barker?  Aunt Anissa told me about you.  She
told me you were Toff's special friend."  That threw me a
little.  Yeah, I knew Anissa thought I'd become Toff's
friend, and Toff and I had indeed bonded a bit over the
afternoon, but I didn't know the entire village would find
out.   Still, I had the boy in my control, and it was
evidently my duty to straighten him out.

"Badr, I am indeed Toff's friend, but this is about what you
did today.  Do you want to tell me about it?"  I couldn't
help marveling at his lovely accent, and also at the
impeccable English Badr spoke, but I held his gaze firmly
and sternly.

Badr looked a little more scared, and then he licked his
lips a couple times.  Toff was close up next to me, as if he
envied Badr's place in my arms, but Badr still hesitated.

"Mr. Barker, I was one of the people who pulled the trick on
Mustapha today.  I was with my friends, and they said
Mustapha would trust me if I asked him to join us.  I know
I'm his cousin, so I should not have done it.  I am ready to
be punished."  He held his head up, but Badr was not
completely confident, and I could feel him trembling a
little on my lap.

"Well, Badr, I am not sure exactly how to punish you.  Did
you know the other boys were going to strip Toff naked?  Did
you know they were going to piss on him?"  I figured
premeditation was part of what I had to determine here.  I
looked sternly at Badr, and held him out from me by the
shoulders so he was looking me in the eyes.  He had shorts
and a shirt on, and his dark hair was sticking in all
directions as he first looked to Toff sheepishly and then to
me.

"Mr. Barker, I knew they thought Mustapha had an odd looking
penis, and I thinked they might try to see it, but I did not
think they would take his clothes off and tie him up."  With
this he looked at Toff a little pleadingly.

"So, you knew they would tease him, but you didn't know how
much?  Tell me, did you piss on Toff, too, like the other
boys?"

All I got from this was a nod and a deep blush.  At this
point Toff started fidgeting, and it was clear he wanted to
say something, but I looked at him hard and he stayed quiet.

"OK, Badr, we have to figure out what to do for a
punishment.  Tell me, if it was your father what would he do
to you?  I have never punished a boy in Lebanon, and I want
to do it right.  And remember, they'll find out the
punishment, so tell me exactly what he would do, ok?"  I had
to pull Badr's chin up so he would look me in the eye, and
he was a little alarmed, presumably because he would have to
name his own punishment.

He hesitated, and I did as well, but partly because I found
him utterly charming, even with his wild hair, crooked teeth
and big nose.  Badr looked as if he specialized in cheeky
grins and mischief, and though I was putting a damper on
that, his natural demeanor was showing through in small
ways.  For instance, he wasn't totally submissive, though he
surely knew he was in for punishment.  And he stole sly
glances at both Toff and I, almost as if he was looking
forward to the punishment.  But still he was silent.

Toff wasn't, though.  "Badr, if you don't want to get
punished I'll forgive you.  I don't want anybody getting
hurt.  Heck, it was bad enough when I was out there, and I
just really want to have friends."

"Wow, that's very mature, Toff," I said, glancing at him,
but I was immediately interrupted by Badr.

Badr wouldn't have any of Toff's pacifism.  "Mustapha, I did
wrong to follow along with the other boys and we did wrong
to hurt you.  It is my honor that must be punished.  Mr.
Barker, my father or my special friend would hit me for a
punishment.  Please do the same, sir."

My mind reeled at the thought of anyone hitting either of
these boys, so cute they were in their own ways, and so
polite as well, and so delicate.  I'd had a chance to see
how delicate Toff was, with his alabaster buttocks
enchanting me earlier.  Even if the hitting was merely there
I knew I could not do it..

"Badr, I'm not going to hit you.  Hitting is never the right
solution.  Your father and your special friend may do that,
but in my country we do not hit boys when they do wrong.
Please think of another punishment, and make sure it is
appropriate to your crime."  All I could think of was a man
punching the boy with resultant ugly bruises, and while my
voice and words were steady, my fists were clenching.
Without knowing it, Badr saw them clench, as I discovered by
seeing his grin transform as if a light bulb had gone off
over his head.

"No, Mr. Barker, I do not mean hit like that."  At this
point he wiggled off my lap and stood in front of me.  "I do
not mean hit with the closed hand, Mr. Barker."  He shook a
fist at me.  Then he turned around, grasped the waistband of
his shorts and pulled them and his underwear down, revealing
his round and narrow buttocks, six shades lighter in color
than his dark olive skin.  "I mean hit here, Mr. Barker,
with the hand."  At that Badr proceeded to slap himself on
the butt as if spanking himself.  And I smiled with relief,
not ignoring how lovely I thought his butt was.  Toff
noticed my look as well, and slipped his hand into mine as
if he was jealous of my staring at Badr.

"That's enough Badr.  Pull those up and stand in front of
me, please."  I decided then and there I wasn't going to
spank him, that I could not harm him one bit physically,
especially not those lovely cheeks.  Further, it seemed to
me almost a betrayal of Toff to touch the bare skin of Badr,
and I did not at all want to offend my new young friend.

"Badr, you will not get spanked.  For now I will tell
everyone, including your Aunt Anissa, that we have agreed to
work out a punishment.  That punishment will be some service
you will do for Toff here.  I want you to think all night
what that service is.  Remember, the punishment must fit the
crime - you set him up to be stripped, tied up and
humiliated.  By tomorrow at noon I want you to have three
suggestions of punishments, and I want you also to tell the
names of the other boys involved to their fathers, and tell
their fathers what they did.  Is that clear?"

"You want me to tell on my friends, Mr. Barker?"  Badr
clearly saw this as the worst part of the punishment.  I
decided to try and play into his cultural beliefs.

"Badr, by telling on your friends you will be restoring the
honor of their families.  Otherwise, they will only and
always be sneaks, and only you will have been honorable."  I
held him steadily by the shoulders, having slipped my right
hand from the clutches of Toff's fingers.  "Do you
understand?"  I looked Badr steadily into his deep brown
eyes.

Badr was stunned at this part of the punishment, but nodded.

"So, Badr, when will you tell the other boys' fathers?"  I
wanted to make sure this part of the punishment was done
soon, knowing now that it was the worst part for him.

"Sir, I would like to do this now.  Can you make sure my
Aunt Anissa knows I will be late for dinner?"  Badr was all
seriousness now, far from the boy with the mischievous smirk
or the boy who so casually pulled down his pants to show off
his creamy backside.

"How long will it take you, Badr?"

"I will be back in 30 minutes, Mr. Barker.  I am sure that
Yassou and Amir's special friends are at the coffee shop
down the street.  Oh, can I tell them instead of their
fathers?"    To Badr telling the boys' special friends was
just as bad as telling their fathers, or so it seemed.

"Badr, you may tell the Yassou and Amir's special friends,
but you must also tell them that Mustapha's special friend
has asked that they punish the boys, and that I wish to join
them for coffee tomorrow at 5:00 to find out about the
punishments.  Can you do that?"  I was curious anyways about
what the notion of "special friend" meant, so I thought
maybe I could ask these gentlemen the next day when I bought
them a coffee, in addition to finding out how they punished
the boys.

"And Badr?  Remember, you must come up with a suitable
punishment for yourself by the time I finish meeting with
those gentlemen tomorrow.  You will meet Toff and I at 6:30
here at the pool tomorrow.  Is that clear?"  I looked at him
sternly, but held his shoulders lightly.

"Yes Mr. Barker.  Can I go tell them now?"  He was eager to
finish this part of the punishment.

"Yes, go Badr.  We'll tell Anissa you'll be late.  And
remember, you have a day to think of your own punishment."
It felt odd to be the arbiter of justice so soon after
arriving in this strange land, and so dragged down by jetlag
as well, but I felt a pride in this, that I had done
something just that might be felt across a small part of
this village, at least amongst the pre-pubertal boys and
their guardians.

"One more thing, Mr. Barker.  Can my special friend Hassan
help me think of a suitable punishment?  I am afraid if I
cannot think of one that is just enough then I will
disappoint you."  Again Badr was at his most polite.  Toff,
meanwhile, had slipped his hand back into mine, and I was
wondering if he had done so out of jealousy.  Surely this
talk of punishments, such serious talk, was intimate enough
that he might get jealous.  Then again, of what did we have
to get jealous.  What did Toff know about `special friends,'
much less myself?  My whole thought process seemed skewed
and twisted, and I knew I would need time to come to terms
later.

"Sure, Badr, but I'd like you to try very hard to think of
the punishment yourself if you can.  Go to Hassan if you
must, but try hard on your own."  Still he stared at me with
an earnestness I had not seen in a boy in a long time.
Bahir, for that moment at least, was all about honor.

"Now run off - we'll make sure there is food waiting if
you're late."

Badr turned and scampered off, looking over his shoulder as
he turned the corner.  I saw the smirk reappear on his face,
but now tinged in respect, seemingly for both Toff and
myself.

I tightened my grip on Toff's hand and turned to him.

"Are you happy so far, Toff?  Do you think the punishment
will work?  Talk to me just a moment before we go in, ok?"
I pulled him closer, but I turned as well so I could look
directly in his eyes.  Sure, Badr had cast a little spell
over me.  His was a blatant seductiveness in a way.  His
smirk of confidence seemed to me then as also a confidence
that he could get what he wanted because he was cute.  But
Badr was to cute what Toff was to beautiful, and Toff's
radiance shone through both goofy glasses and a pained
expression.

"Philip, er, Flip, are the other boys going to hate me
because we're making Badr tell? Am I just going to be chased
and teased even more?"  He was clearly worried he was going
to be a bigger target because of the other boys punishment.

"First, let's start in for dinner.  Anissa might be upset if
we're too late."  I got up and still holding him by the hand
we moved down the path through the garden and towards the
house.

"About those other boys.  Toff, that might be right, but it
depends on the relationship of the `special friends' with
those boys.  Remember, I'm going to have coffee with those
guys, and I'll then know how they decided to handle it, but
I'll also know more about what a `special friend' is.
Anissa seemed to indicate, and this was before we picked you
up, that a `special friend' helps a boy work out problems
like this and that the boy idolizes the `special friend.'
So I'm thinking if these older guys really discipline the
boys and understand that it is about their honor, then the
boys might just treat you better."  OK, I was hoping, but I
wasn't completely confident that we'd solved all of Toff's
socialization woes in Carredeh.  Still, I wanted him in a
good mood this evening, because my physical resources were
beginning to lag after the long flight, and I might not have
the energy to deal with a boy doubting himself again.

"One thing I know, though, Toff.  Anissa is going to have a
huge wonderful meal ready any moment, and I'm hungry.  I
haven't had Lebanese food in a couple years, since my Aunt
Minnie got too old to cook it, and I'm starved!"  I tried to
turn the tone to the lighter side, but Toff yanked at my
hand to get me to stop.

"Mr. Barker, er, Flip?  Are you. . . I mean, if those other
boys continue to tease me, will you do stuff with me?  I
mean, I have eight more days of vacation left, right until
January 2nd, and I've always been alone here, and it could
get worse if those boys get angry and all."  He was worried
again.  The confident boy was gone, and the lonely fretful
boy was back.

"Toff, I've got no better friend in all of Lebanon, and I'm
counting on your showing me the ropes here."  I stopped and
lowered myself to his level, with my arms at his shoulders
and speaking right to him.  His brown eyes sparked behind
those odd glasses of his as I spoke.  "I want you to pick
out the best place for me to scatter my Aunt Minnie's ashes,
and if you know the neighborhood at all, I want you to give
me a tour.  We're buddies these eight days at least, and
don't forget it.  Even if those other guys decide they want
you as a friend, remember that I need you as a friend, and
they can't have you.  Is that clear?"  With this last
statement I had cupped his chin in my hand in an intimate
gesture.  Though my words might sound full of jest, my
actions did not, and my face was as straight as could be.

Toff grinned and his smile sparkled at me.  I had succeeded
in allaying his fears, at least for now.  More, I was
entranced by the sparkle in his eyes as it resided behind
those dark and severe eyeglasses.  Toff could be as
intoxicating to me as any woman I'd ever known, and he was
just that now, flooding me with a warmth so quickly it drew
the breath from my lungs.  As I looked at him, speechless,
for what must have been nearly a minute, we held hands and
his face changed ever so slightly.  To my imagination, he
was realizing the same feelings as was I, or at least I
hoped, and I saw the same feelings of panic and lust and
hope and fear rush frantically under the current of serenity
in his smile.  Then Toff did something I did not expect.

With one hand still in mine, Toff climbed onto his tiptoes
and planted a soft kiss between my eyes.  He then backed off
and spoke very softly.

"Thanks, Flip.  I need a friend right now.  Thanks a ton."
He was almost crying be the time he verbalized this, what
must have hurt to the soul, and his hand was trembling in
mine, so I rushed him in my arms, picked him up, gave him a
big hug, and continued on the march to the house.  I didn't
add anything, as he had said it all.  Soon we arrived and
Toff had a smile on his face by then, not least because I
took advantage of the situation to tickle him in the ribs.

I landed Toff on the ground just outside the back door of
the Bareb home and we walked in together to the smell of
heaven.  I hadn't had a full-course Lebanese meal in years,
and I was about to be treated.  I hoped like hell I could
keep my eyes open for it.  Toff led me through the house and
to the dining room, and I just stood there, my hands on his
shoulders, as I surveyed the modest setting.  Yes, the food
on the table was bountiful, but it was only for a few.
Anissa was bustling around, as was another woman many years
her senior.  There was an older gentleman seated at the end
of the room, and empty chairs on our side of the table.

Toff tugged me towards the table and said, "Sit down, Flip,
er. . . I mean Mr. Barker.  I can tell, Anissa and Jamila
are almost done, and it's ready to eat.  Mr. Bareb, please
let me introduce you to Mr. Barker, my friend."  With this
last he nodded to the older man, who I figured to be above
60, if not 80, and pulled out his own seat.

"Good evening, Mr. Bareb.  I have met Anissa, and of course
I am Mustapha's good friend.  It is a pleasure to meet you,
sir."  I moved towards the elder man and held out my hand
and he took it with vigor and strength.  My but the man had
a grip!  He was eager and pumped my arm up and down several
times while revealing a smile full of strong but yellowish
teeth.  He was handsome, though, and dressed in dark slacks
and a white open-necked dress shirt.  No, I hadn't been
expecting a kaffiyeh, but neither was I expecting Mr. Bareb
to be dressed like Moshe Dayan.  Still, Toff spoke to him as
if he liked him, and I was pleased to meet Mr. Bareb.

We sat down, as Anissa and Jamila still bustled preparing
the final bits of the feast.  After all, this was Christmas
Eve.  Yes, Christmas Eve.  I hadn't spent a traditional
Christmas with family in a while.  An only child and single,
my father had died years earlier and my mother was in a
home.  In recent years I had visited Mom, who was forgetting
who I was because of Alzheimers, then off to my own empty
condominium.  The usual for me in recent years was to buy a
dinner to go from the local Boston Market and to do some
extra work over the holidays.  As Toff tugged on my arm to
sit next to him I was beginning to think I was going to
enjoy this trip, designed originally merely to lay my Aunt
Minnie's ashes to rest.

Mr. Bareb cleared his throat as both Anissa and Jamila moved
towards sitting down across from Toff and me.  Jamila took a
seat, and Anissa stood behind the other.  "Philip, is Badr
coming back soon?"

It became apparent to me that she was standing behind Badr's
place, and she was wondering when he would be home.

"I expect he will be along soon, Anissa.  He is running an
errand as part of his punishment.  I'm having him talk to
the `special friends' of Yassou and Amir.  He is going to
ask those men to punish the boys suitably, and then he will
come back for dinner.  I told him we would have food for
him, but that we might start without him."  As I said this I
realized again that this was Christmas Eve, and that Anissa
might want to have the family together this evening, at
least those who were in the country, but she anticipated my
concern.

"That is no problem, Philip."  She said with her very regal
voice.  I swear Anissa belonged in Paris rather than in a
small town in Lebanon, and I still thought her beautiful.
"Actually, Philip, it is just us tonight.  My husband David
has not been able to make it.  He will be in Beiruit until
late.  David's father here, who Mustapha introduced as Mr.
Bareb, is named Ghassan.  Mustapha, you are ever the polite
one, and I know how much you wish to honor Ghassan."  She
winked at Toff, and Toff blushed, ducking his head slightly
and towards my left shoulder.  I looked, and Ghassan also
was admiring Toff.  He seemed to have a soft spot for the
boy.

"Well, Anissa, it must be time to eat.  While I am an
American, I am proud to say there is little on the table I
am unfamiliar with.  I see the Tabouleh, although my Aunt
Minnie chopped the vegetables finer for hers if I recall.
And is that three kinds of kibbeh I see?  Baked fried and
kibbeh nayeh?  Those olives garnishing the hummus look
divine.  Are they from your orchard, Ghassan?  Toff, do you
know what kibbeh nayeh is?"  I was determined to make a good
impression here, and also to flatter my host.  Ghassan
nodded about the olives, but Toff caught my attention next.

"But, Mr. Barker, I didn't know you knew all of this.  Yeah,
kibbeh nayeh is raw kibbeh, and there's a gravy to go over
it in that bowl there.  It's called Hashweh."  He pointed,
both perplexed at my knowledge and proud that he knew so
much.  "So, Mr. Barker, what are these?"  He held up a
firmly wrapped and hot stuffed grape leaf by the end, a
little three-inch green phallus very similar in size to his
own if I were to judge.

"Ah, Toff!  My favorite of all!  Yabrah Areesh!  My aunt
Minnie made them and we smothered them in laban and feasted
like kings!  I think I ate 20 of them every time she cooked
them!  It's not much different here, Anissa.  The table
looks divine, and considering I've had no sleep, I'll fall
into a stupor with my head in the middle of the table and
snoring like a pig if you don't watch.  And with all of that
lamb in me, I will definitely not have to count sheep in
order to sleep tonight."  I meant it.  I intended to try
everything, and lots if I could, and my jet lag could just
be damned.  Toff still had his jaw wide as I had surprised
him with my expertise in Lebanese cuisine.  But it was
Anissa who spoke next.

"I think that's your cue, Ghassan.  Since Philip has a bit
of jet lag, we might need to serve Turkish coffee throughout
the meal.  Mustapha?  Please get the cups for Ghassan."
Toff got off his chair on my side and brushed against me as
he slipped between our chairs.  It seemed like he was proud
of me and wanted to maintain bodily contact, if just
fleetingly.  Ghassan had also gotten out of his seat, and he
came back quickly with a pot of thick Turkish coffee just as
Toff came back with little coffee cups and set them in front
of Ghassan's plate and my own.  The coffee is usually served
after the meal, but I would need it right away.

"So, Mustapha!  Philip here calls you Toff, but I will still
call you Mustapha.  You will always be one of my favorites,
boy!  Your name means `the chosen one,' you know.  And once
upon a time there was a man who ruled over all of the Middle
East whose name was Mustapha Ataturk.  He was the founder of
modern Turkey, and greatly respected by all men.  Still, it
is fitting that your special friend here calls you Toff, for
special friends deserve to use special names.  It will be
the name he alone uses for you here in Lebanon."  This
soliloquy over, Ghassan poured the syrupy coffee for both of
us.

"Toff, do you want some?"  I said this with a wink, and he
answered with spirit.

"If I have some, Flip, er, Philip, then I won't be able to
sleep at all tonight, and I don't want to keep you up."
With that he settled in beside me, again brushing my leg
with his buttocks as he squeezed in beside me.  "But can I
have some wine, please?"

Ghassan sat down as well, and we all began to dig in and
fill our plates.  I helped Toff some, who could not seem to
cut off a hunk of the Kibbeh Neyah cleanly, and it was clear
his eyes were bigger than his stomach, so I kept adjusting
the portions on his plate while everyone else methodically
filled their own plates.  Soon we began to talk while slowly
devouring the mountains of food before us.

Anissa spoke up.  "Who would like some wine?"  She had
gotten up and was brandishing a clear bottle before us, and
was already pouring into Ghassan's glass and headed for
mine.

"A little will be fine, Anissa, thank you."  She poured, and
then poured also into Toff's half-filled water glass.

"You will find, Philip, that we are a little like the French
here.  We give children like Toff wine, but only watered
down and only on special occasions.  Oh, I remember only
once when a child got drunk at my table.  That was Badr two
years ago.  Do you remember that, Toff?"

At that moment Badr came bursting through the door, his hair
as wild as ever, only coming to a stop at his chair directly
across from me.  Anissa didn't break stride, filling up his
water glass with wine as well, and then asked him a
question.  "Badr, were you successful in running your
errands for Mr. Barker?"

Badr turned to me to answer.  "Mr. Barker, I told both Samir
and Ali about Amir and Yassou, and they will be expecting
you for coffee in the village tomorrow at 4:30.  They have
asked that Badr and I come along as well, and my special
friend Hassan will also be there.  Aunt Anissa, they said
you should be prepared to give us a late dinner, because the
men will want to talk for a very long time."

Before Anissa could speak I jumped in.  "Thank you, Badr.
It seems you have done well.  Now sit down and dig into the
food before Toff and I eat it all.  I winked at him to show
that there were no hard feelings and we would handle this as
friends, and Badr sat down in his seat and began to fill his
own plate.

But at the same time I found Toff's hand creeping into my
lap searching for my idle left hand.  It appeared he was a
little jealous of my attentions, so I grasped it, turned and
winked at him, and bent forward until my nose was at his
ear.  "Eat Toff!"  I whispered softly.  And then I kissed
his ear softly, feeling with my lips as his blush started
once again turning them red.

"No, Mr. Barker, I just helped in the orchard."  Badr didn't
elaborate

"Ghassan, what does your name mean?"  As he said this I
noticed a stream of buttery Hashwah drip its way down Toff's
chin.  The image of licking it off popped into my head, but
I merely leaned in with a napkin to lightly mop up his
clumsiness.

"Mustapha, Ghassan means `youth' in Arabic.  It was the name
of a tribe almost one thousand five hundred years ago.  And
that is not the name my mother gave me.  It is the name my
special friend gave me when I was a bit younger than you.
He died shortly afterwards just at the beginning of World
War Two, and my parents gave me permission to change it."

Toff's eyes were wide as he took this information in.  The
whole time Ghassan spoke of his own name and special friend
Toff was in awe, a stuffed grape leaf held to his mouth,
slightly pressing out his bottom lip.  He was in awe of the
story, and I was enraptured by that lip.  I wanted my finger
to be that grape leaf.  I shuddered a bit as I realized I
wanted Toff's kisses.

Thankfully, Anissa's voice brought me out of it.  "And my
name means what, Ghassan?"

"Ah!"  The old man relished being the center of attention.
"Alas, Anissa merely means `friendly,' but our Anissa lives
up to that name quite well.  And Jamila means beautiful, a
name that fits both of the women in this room tonight, don't
you think, Philip?"

"Well, Ghassan, if cooking equates to beauty, I will look
for someone in these next days who can cook as well as these
two."  I was feeling the food by now, and Ghassan had
brought another a carafe of wine and sipping on it was
raising the heat in the room, unless of course, it was the
combination of food and wine in my body.

Anissa piped in, and she must have had the slightest too
much to drink.  "Don't worry about finding a girl, Philip.
Mustapha here helped by cutting all the fat off the lamb and
we used him to mix the ground lamb with the wheat.  Mustapha
has strong hands to do that.  You just may have found your
cook, Philip."  She raised her glass at that, and I presumed
she was a bit drunk to say such a thing as to implicate Toff
and I romantically, but I shifted my gaze to Toff and he was
grinning.  No wonder.  He had wine in front of him, too.

I couldn't believe it, but the party was almost out of hand.
At least in my own head it was.  In the dim light I could
see smiling people comfortable with one another, and Toff
was only slightly reserved, as if they accepted him and he
didn't quite fit in, but he was smiling and laughing at the
jokes as well.  Even Anissa's little insinuation about Toff
and I didn't faze the boy.

"Ghassan, will you tell me what Badr's name means?"  Toff
then stuffed his face with another stuffed grape leaf.  I
admired him for a moment, hardly paying attention to
Ghassan's answer.

"Mustapha, Badr means `full moon,' which in America might be
considered a girl's name, but here it indicates strength and
honor."

I didn't much hear the last of Ghassan's explanation, as I
was choking on a fork full of baked kibbeh.  Full moon!  Oh,
it was appropriate to our talk with Badr before dinner,
that's for sure.

Anissa was all over me as my choking got progressively
worse, and Toff was flitting around.  I had stood and was
beating my chest, and Toff was trying to do something to
help, all the while accomplishing nothing.  Finally he held
up my glass of wine and I grasped it as if it was a life
preserver, downing four quick and hefty swallows and
inhaling.  Just a sputter or two more and I was fine, if red-
faced from exertion.

Toff was not going to let me go, however, and he was
extraordinarily solicitous in order to get me back in my
seat and comfortable.  His hand touched my arm, his arm
curled around my waist, and when I sat he rearranged the
napkin on my lap.  I finally felt comfortable and turned to
calm Toff, who acted as if his world was collapsing.  How in
God's name did I become so important to the boy in such a
short time?

Several of the group started to ask questions, but I held
them off by raising my palm to the in the universal "talk to
the hand" gesture.  I turned to Toff, leaned down and gave
him a big hug, practically lifting him off his seat.

"Thanks for the help, buddy.  I needed it there, but it was
just a little food going down the wrong pipe.  I think I've
got to be careful and not listen to such funny stuff, huh?"
I winked at Toff, and he looked puzzled.

"What WAS so funny, Philip?  The last words I heard spoken
were that Badr's name meant `full moon.'"  Anissa was truly
curious about why I laughed so suddenly, and I almost began
again.  Instead I looked at Toff and his eyes grew wider as
the full meaning of `full moon' registered on him.  As the
two Americans here who would understand the colloquialism,
one of us would have to explain.  But since Toff was now
collapsing into my lap in giggles, it looked to be my job to
elaborate.  And enjoy him in my lap, of course.

"Well, Anissa," I started to explain, but I started
giggling, too as Toff squirmed in my lap laughing almost
until he was crying.  What was it about boys that butts were
so funny to them?  Well, it was funny to me as well.

"Toff, get up and calm down so I can tell what's so funny,
ok?"  He moved just a little and over into his chair and
covered his mouth.  He was still on the verge of giggles.
"Toff, if you can't stop giggling, just fill your mouth with
another of these grape leaves."  In front of everyone I
pulled one off my plate and Toff removed his hand from his
mouth just long enough to accept the morsel between his
lips, grazing my fingers as he did so.  As soon as his mouth
was full I turned to the others and began my explanation.

"Well, folks, you see, `full moon' is what Badr's name
means, and that is an American expression.  It means baring
one's buttocks, and it is usually done in jest.  So in a
sense Badr's name means bare butt."  Anissa giggled a
little, as did the others, though Jamila seemed slow to get
it until Ghassan explained in a whisper.  Toff, in the
meantime, his eyes twinkling, was suppressing his laughter.

"It's a little more than that, though.  When we were out
talking with Badr earlier, he explained what kind of
punishment his father would probably give him for today's
prank.  He told us he would get hit.  Well, in American
English that would mean a beating, and I said we would never
allow that.  Badr was quite smart at that point, figuring
out he had said the wrong word, so he pantomimed a bit.  He
let down his shorts, showed us his `full moon,' and spanked
it to show us just what kind of punishment.  I guess Toff
and I are laughing because Badr showed us what his name
meant earlier."

This immediately got everyone laughing, Badr among them.

"You mean by showing my butt I'm giving the meaning of my
name, Mr. Barker?"  Badr had a light in his eyes, of
mischief, no doubt.

"Yes, Badr, in America, to `moon' someone you just drop your
pants and show your back side.  Kids do it once in a while
when they're playing around.  You remember that movie
Braveheart?  Did you see it?"

Badr nodded, his eyes still wide.

"Well, do you remember how the Scots mooned the English
right before they went into battle?  You see, it isn't just
a silly thing, but it can be an insult, too."  I started
again to eat, the mirth dying down some.

Badr started to get up, and I was afraid he was going to
show us his name again, until Anissa spoke up.

"Badr, sit back down.  You can show them the full moon
later, though most likely tomorrow.  Mr. Barker is tired,
and he'll likely go to bed soo.  Philip, please drink more
wine.  It will help you sleep, and I know well how jet lag
can be difficult to get over.  If you get in bed a little
early and then wake around 8:00, then you'll probably be
fine."  Anissa was once again showing herself to be the
consummate hostess, though I might have wanted to see Badr's
butt again.

"I guess you know him well, Anissa,"  While I patted Toff on
the thigh I looked across and winked at Badr across from me.
Badr, you can come out in the morning when Toff and I hacve
slept and show off your name all you want, ok?"  Toff
giggled and I sipped again at my wine and realized I'd lost
count of the glasses I'd drunk and even of the amount of
food I'd eaten.  I actually wobbled in my chair.

"Anissa, I think I've eaten my fill here.  I believe a food
coma is coming over me, despite your wonderful coffee,
Ghassan.  He nodded in my direction at the compliment.

"Jamila and Anissa, the food was wonderful, but I am feeling
so bloated that I might need both Toff and Badr to get me
down the hill and safely in bed.  I couldn't hold another
drop."  I began to get up, and as I did Ghassan called Badr
over to him, gave him a couple glasses and a bottle, and
told him to follow Toff and I to the olive house where we
were staying.  And without further ado, except for goodbyes
all around, we left, a boy under each of my arms to steady
me.

To be serious, I was very tired, but I did not think I
needed the help of two boys.  Still, they were serious about
the charge given them, at least until Toff teased Badr once
more about showing off his name in the morning.

"Toff, don't tease him too much.  Remember, we went swimming
today naked, and I don't have a suit, so if Badr comes to
wake us for a swim in the morning he'll see my butt as
well."  At this Badr looked up at me in surprise, and then
shot a sly look at Toff.  I wasn't sure at all what he meant
by his leer at Toff, but I also couldn't concentrate enough
to ask.

We finally got to the Olive House and Badr stopped us at the
door.

"Mr. Barker, my Great Uncle Ghassan asked me to give you
this bottle of Ouzo and glasses with which to enjoy it.  He
told me it would give you and Toff sweet dreams as you
sleep.  And Toff, Ghassan told me that you had to make sure
Mr. Barker got to bed safely.  Because he is let lagged and
because of the full meal, that might be difficult.  May I
offer to help?"  The prim and proper English coming from the
mouth of this boy with the messy hair was precious, but I
didn't feel I needed any help.

"No, Badr, Toff doesn't need any help, though he might need
help getting me out of bed in the morning."  I then made an
elaborate gesture as if I was dubbing him a Knight of the
Round Table.  "Until morning your new name is `alarm clock!'
Please wake us in the morning early for a swim."  With that,
I finished my makeshift ceremony and took the bottle and
glasses from Badr's hands.

"Come, Toff, it is time to go to bed.  Perhaps we will share
a short drink first.  And Badr, thank you for your help this
evening."  I sounded pompous, which cued me that I was
horridly drunk, so I kept going, naturally.  I walked into
the bathroom, put down the bottle of Ouzo with a dangerously
loud clink, and called to Toff.

"Toff, can you pour us each a little Ouzo.  Make sure you
put plenty of water in yours and don't worry when it goes
cloudy, OK?  I need to get out of these clothes."  I hardly
paid him any mind as I passed him coming in to the bathroom.

"Sure, Flip, I'll be right in," Toff looked at me strangely
as I proceeded into the bedroom.

I got on the bed and started to undress.  First my pants.  I
had them unzipped quickly, then had to go back to the belt
buckle.  Sheesh, I hadn't really been drunk in years.  I
giggled to myself as I applied myself with renewed
concentration.  I took off my polo shirt, then dropped my
pants and underwear all the way to my ankles, where I found
I still had my shoes on.  This was all so frustrating that I
groaned loudly then spread out on my back for a little rest.
Leaning down to start taking off my shoes had made me a
little dizzy.

I don't know how long I slept like that, but thankfully it
wasn't very long, as it was getting cold in the house.  I
felt a tickle around my feet and I sat up.  Toff was taking
off my shoes.  Here I was naked except for a wad of clothing
around my ankles and I was so drunk that an eleven year old
boy was taking the rest of my clothes off.

"Toff, I'm sorry.  I bet I've ruined your night, huh?

"Flip," he looked up at me as he said it, and his eyes were
soft.  "I don't want you drinking this much again, but
you're about eight hours past your bedtime, so let's just
get you in bed."

"But Toff, I'm the older one.  I should be taking care of
you."  He now had both my shoes off and was untangling my
khakis and undershorts.  When he got them off my feet,
leaving me naked before him, Toff responded.

"Flip, when you're special friends with someone, maybe that
means taking care of each other, don't you think?"  The boy
was wise, and even through the cloud that was my mind I saw
that.

"Now, Flip, lay down and let me get the covers on you, then
I'll come in and sing you to sleep or something."  OK, he
wasn't just wise, he was also a smart-ass.  But I obeyed,
hoping and praying I would not be hung over in the morning.
It was too many years since I was last hung over.

Curled in the blankets I faced the middle of the wide bed,
and just barely noticed the lights going out, first in the
bathroom and then in the bedroom, leaving just a moonbeam of
light coming in through the French Windows behind me.  I
heard a rustle of the covers in time to look up and see Toff
climbing into the bed with me, as naked as he was born.

It is one thing to see a boy naked and frolicking in the
water as if he was born to it.  That seemed the natural
environment for a boy.  Yet in that innocent environment I
had found myself inextricably attracted to Toff, mesmerized
by his body and by the odd set of his thin lips, the depth
of his brown eyes.  There I could admire without fear, as he
had set the tone, and I knew I could resist temptation.  But
here in the bed?  A naked boy climbing into my bed did
wonders at sobering me up.

"Toff, you don't have any clothes on!"  Having turned down
the covers on his side of the bed, he was poised on all
fours facing me, and a cougar couldn't have been more
graceful, a swimsuit model more sexy.  My body responded,
despite the alcohol, as I forced myself to look Toff in the
eyes.

"Of course not, Flip.  Neither do you!"  And with that he
turned over onto his back, stretched out to his full 4'9"
frame, displaying clearly the wonders of his sex.  But I got
the barest glimpse, for he pulled the covers, took off his
glasses and put them on the coffee table, and then turned
towards me.

"Now what do you want me to sing to you, Flip?"  He smirked.
That's all you could call it, though it wasn't far from a
sexy leer.

I leered back.  No smirk for me.  "Do you know `Lydia the
Tattooed Lady?'"  Toff giggled and I lunged at him to tickle
him in the ribs.  I succeeded, and he squirmed around so his
butt was to me and let out a huge fart.  That was a
declaration of war, of course, so I ducked one arm under his
right leg and one beneath his left armpit and whirled him up
and over me and across my lap, now uncovered by quilts, face
down.

"Toff, did this little thing here cause that massive ugly
smell?"  I rubbed his butt lightly.  How could this little
butt do all that?

Toff was giggling mightily, but he stopped just long enough
to respond.  "Hey, that smell is nothing like your breath,
Flip!"  With that he looked up at me and scrunched up his
nose.  Of course, looking up at me had the effect of turning
his body towards me, and when I looked down, there was the
prize.  His two inch penis was now a three inch spike.  With
its foreskin puckering at the end it reminded me of a
stuffed and rolled grape leaf, and it was all I could do not
to salivate.

"Toff, don't look now but I think we're going to have to
operate on this.  All that food has made it swollen."  I
placed the same hand with which I was rubbing his butt
lightly on his penis and he jerked in reaction and rolled
off of me, breaking the contact.  He was red in the face,
too.

I reached forward and touched Toff's shoulder lightly.

"Toff, I didn't mean to embarrass you.  Frankly, I think
that's a great looking penis you have there, and I'd like to
look at it more if that's OK, but only when you think it's
ok.  Now get under the covers.  I think we ought to stop
with the horsing around anyways.  I immediately got under
the covers and turned away, and soon Toff was under the
covers, too.

"Toff, I apologize.  I really didn't say it to tease or
anything."

"That's OK, Flip.  I just didn't know it was hard at all.
It seems to get that way all the time.  Heck, it was even
hard when they tied me up yesterday.  Now THAT was even more
embarrassing!"  Toff looked over at me, the covers pulled to
his chest.

"Well, if it makes you feel better, mine gets hard a lot
when I don't want it to.  Not now, I guess, but when we get
up in the morning I'll bet it will be.  And I'm going to
sleep like a baby."  I winked at him, and we were nearly
ready to call it a night, that was clear.

"Do you mean you pee the bed?"  Toff had to tease one last
time.

"No, Toff, it means I'll look to hug a teddy bear in the
middle of the night, and maybe I'll even end up sucking on
your ear like a pacifier."  Though this tease called for me
to lunge at him, I did not this time, and his smile wilted
just a bit.

"Hey, let's go to sleep, Toff.  And by the way, I'm not
altogether kidding.  If I roll over and wrap you in my arms
in my sleep, and you don't like it, just elbow me or
something and I'm sure I'll move.  Same thing if I snore too
loud, ok?"

"Sounds good, Flip.  And, er, thanks for being my friend."
He blushed at saying it, but it was clear he meant it from
the depths of his heart.

"Toff?  Anything for you.  Anything." With that, I leaned
over him and placed a long kiss on the tip of his nose,
which wrinkled beneath my lips.  Then I rolled back over on
my back.

"Goodnight, Toff!"

"Goodnight Flip."

I fell asleep quickly.