Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2014 23:47:51 -0800
From: garystratford@yahoo.com
Subject: Part 6 - Together After the Fair

Together after the Fair
[Part 6 - Together After the Fair - Life continues marching on]

*****

'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
'Alfred Lord Tennyson'

I guess so, although being in love and loving someone has plenty of risks.
I think what Tennyson was getting at is that even if you lose the one you
love the time they were with you and or loved you back more than fills your
heart and or mends it, but I can attest to the fact that walking around
with a longing to love and fill the void can be frustrating.  I did that
for many years and now after speaking with Brad I was about to put one
longing out of my heart and open my heart to the possibility of having it
destroyed.

Yes, maybe I am too dramatic at times.  I make no real apology for being
that way.  Nor did I count on ever again finding someone who caught my
attention, drew out the inner me and expressed a desire to love me as has
Greg.

Please let me know what you think (garystratford@yahoo.com).

This story depicts the sexual activity between an adult male and a teenage
boy.  If you aren't supposed to be reading this type of story, then stop.
Otherwise enjoy what you read.

Gary - older male Greg - teenage boy Robbie - teenage boy (flashback)
Younger Gary - boy (flashback)

*****

...I put the phone down and took a long drink from my beer and looked into
the fire.  I let it draw me in, I felt its warmth and I allowed my mind to
wander and recalled the good times with Greg, from the first time I met him
and flirted with him in the bathroom at the Fair after he spilled his scone
to earlier as he kissed me goodbye with a promise to see him soon.  Every
time I pictured his face, his body, his eyes, I felt giddy and flushed.  He
really had control of my heart.  I thought about how much fun we had being
together at the fair, riding the rides, eating the food and hanging out
together.

I realized that for essentially the second time in my life a guy made me
feel so wonderful inside that I cared about other things besides all of the
great sex I could have with him.  The first was Robbie, he introduced me to
male on male sex and how wonderful it was and that it was what I wanted and
was drawn towards.  Being with Robbie was great, the sex was a bonus.

Now, 35 plus years later I have found someone who makes me giddy, horny,
flushed and happy again.  Greg revived in me the spirit of life and living
it for all it is worth type of feeling that had gone missing for a while.
He also brought a sexual dynamic to our relationship that I never knew was
possible.

***** Part 6 - Together After the Fair - Life continues marching on

I looked at the clock on the wall.  It was pushing 7:00 p.m.  I picked up
my cell phone and pulled up my personal email.  I hit new message and
selected Robbie from my contacts.

--

Subject: I need to meet with you

Message:

Hey Robbie,

I think we need to talk face to face.  I hope you can make some time for me
tomorrow.  Can we please meet at the old pond where you and I had our first
skinny dipping session?

See you there around noon tomorrow.

Love, Gary

--

I stared at the message, read it over and over, thoughts flitting through
my mind.  A tear dropped off my cheek onto the screen and I pressed send.
Closure will begin tomorrow.

I set my phone down on the arm of the couch and picked up my beer and
wandered over to stand next to the wood stove.  I stared out the window.  I
would sip my beer, wipe away a tear or two, run my fingers back through my
hair and think about all of the good times Robbie and I had and how in love
I was by the time I turned 14.  Robbie was my world, but it was a secret.

Now I had a 14 almost 15 year old boy who professed his love for me and it
scared the living crap out of me.  I had spent most of my life up to this
point hiding who I was, in my younger personal life and the relationship
with Robbie, all of the years in the Army living under the rule of 'Don't
Ask - Don't Tell' and now becoming involved with a boy young enough to be
my son and then some.

Hiding who I was had caused some interesting things to happen in my life.
The night I was forced to come out and declare to the world I was gay
nearly ruined a life long friendship and hurt a young boy who was dear to
me.  Sure, you can apologize and others can forgive, but you really cannot
take back actions once committed.

There were times prior to that night with Lucas when I could have easily
been classified as having suicidal tendencies or at least a death wish.
Most people would have called some of my actions bravado, but no one knew
how much I ached inside.  I think maybe Brad had some inkling.  He seemed
to have my back in the various situations where I could have easily or
intentionally not protected myself, sometimes in a wooded area others in
the sands of a desert.  I never consciously thought about doing something
stupid, I just was not averse to taking a little risk, moving quickly to
assist someone in need which put me in the open and targetable.  Getting my
ass chewed by people like Brad because they did not want their medic killed
needlessly.

In the civilian world, I enjoyed things like fast cars and motorcycles,
working with high voltages in electric generation plants and substations,
diving in the ocean to swim with various predators in the deep nearby,
skydiving, etc.  Along with that I also took chances in some seedy place,
not looking for a fight or two, but never backing down from one either.
Living life as it came was never really enough.

Now I had a wonderful new beginning starting and I had to keep it hidden as
well.  When will it all end I wondered.  Life is not fair sometimes was all
I could think.

My phone chimed.  I walked back to the couch and picked up the phone.  The
screen indicated I had a new email.  I pressed that cute little envelope
icon and it brought up my inboxes and I selected my personal email.  Sure
enough there was a response from Robbie.

--

Message:

Hi Gary,

See you tomorrow around noon at the pond.

I have always dreaded this day, but knew it might come sooner than later.

Love you, R.

--

He knows.  Was all I could think.

I drained my beer and shut off the lights.  I wandered to my bed alone and
for the first time in a while, lonely.

I slept a rather unrestful slumber.  I tossed and turned all night long.
At times when sleep captured me, I dreamed of the good times I had with
Robbie and of the good feelings I had with Greg.  They were different
people, a major transposition.

I cried in bed for the first time in a long time. I finally fell into a
more subdued slumber and got some real sleep, maybe 4 hours worth, but
enough that it did re-energize me somewhat.  I came awake in the early
morning of the new day.

I shaved and showered along with the rest of the morning ablutions.
Refreshed for the day, I dressed and grabbed a light breakfast.  I stripped
the bed quickly and tossed the sheets in the hamper and grabbed my bag.

I locked up the cabin and hopped in the truck.  I headed out, east to meet
with Robbie to finalize this chapter of my life.

A few hours later I was exiting the freeway and heading onto a siding road
which I knew led to the far side of the Manchester property.  It was
pushing noon and the day was a decent one, so no worry about mud or rain,
just cooler temperatures.

I pulled off the road and onto a dirt entry road that was gated.  I noted
that at least one vehicle had already come through here, most likely
Robbie.  I climbed out of the truck and opened the gate, got back into the
truck and drove through the gate, exited the truck and closed the gate then
proceeded up the hill towards the pond.

As I drove I remembered the first time I had driven a truck.  I was sitting
next to a then 17 year old Robbie.  He let me drive around in the field at
times, the first was when I was 10 years old.  Oh how I enjoyed being near
him, not really knowing why, but really enjoyed it.

I remember how his touch would send electric shock like feelings through my
body.  I loved how he made me feel and how he always made time for me.
Then on that day I saw him naked, man my whole world changed and I knew,
but did not understand all of the feelings.  I knew I was different than
other boys, I was a boy who was attracted to other boys.  That attraction
grew stronger and I fell in love with Robbie, but we had to keep that
blossoming relationship a secret.  Life got in the way and physical
distance came between us to create a wound that never really healed.

The wound had salt rubbed in it on the night I found out Robbie had gotten
married to a woman, not that marrying a man would have been any different
as to how I felt.  Now more than 10 or so years later, he was still married
to woman he claimed he did not and could not love, but with whom he had
sired children.

I motored over the rise and around that last bend in the road towards the
trees that overlooked the pond.  There was Robbie's truck and as I parked
next to it I noticed Robbie standing next to a tree.  He turned and walked
towards me as I exited my truck and walked around to the front of it, the
pond on my left and Robbie standing in front of me.

"Hi Gary."  Robbie said and leaned in to hug me.

"Hi Robbie."  I said and hugged him back.

We remained locked in the hug for several minutes.  I still enjoyed the
feeling of his touch, but I knew I had to close this chapter and allow the
'us' to fade into the past.  I pulled back from the hug.  I realized both
of us were misty eyed.

"I take it you kind of know why I am here and what I want to talk about."
I said.

Robbie nodded.  "Yep, I think so.  I am guessing you want to formally tell
me that we are no longer a possibility."  He stated.

I nodded and looked over at the pond.  "Yes, but it isn't easy for me.
However, it needs to be done."  I said.

"It's okay.  I understand."  Robbie offered and then continued.  "I am so
sorry to have hurt you though."  He added.

"You have said that before and at some level I understand, but it still
hurts.  Although I also understand I played a part in confusing the whole
issue."  I stated.

I looked back at the pond.  I breathed in the cool country air as I
pictured Robbie, naked at 17 standing in the water, it was deep enough that
he was covered from the waist down.  He was a fairly muscular boy, football
player and hard working farm boy, so naturally the muscles were there.  I
had seen him enter the water, so I had gotten a good look at his cute
toosh.  I shyly joined him in the water on that hot summer day, two boys,
one older teen and one pre-pubescent young boy, frolicking in the water
naked as the day they were born.  What a wonderful day.

"I guess you may be wondering, why here?"  I asked waving my hand around.

Robbie looked at the pond and back at me and cocked his head in thought.
After some pause he stated, "I think I understand.  It was some place near
the start of our relationship."

I smiled slightly and nodded.  "Yes, in fact it was here on that day we
were skinny dipping when I knew in my heart I was different than most of
the other boys my age.  I also knew that in some way you were different as
well and that you were okay with me being different."

Robbie began to mist up as well, "Yes, it was also when I knew I was
attracted to you at some deeper level and that you made me feel weirdly
horny and happy at the same time."  He said and then added, "I remember
after playing in the water for a while I had you in my arms and we hugged
and you realized while we were both boys there was a difference in our
sizes."

I chuckled, "For sure, you were taller and your almost man cock was so much
bigger than my wee boy cocklet.  I did not know then that it was me who was
making your cock hard, I thought it was the temperature of the water."  I
said and then added with more chuckling, "When you carried me out of the
pond and laid me on the blanket and we kissed while you ground that hard
cock against my thigh and when you finally came all over my belly and such,
I was a tad bit confused to say the least."  I confessed.

"Yea, not sure why I thought I needed to do that, but I am glad you didn't
run to my dad screaming or something like that."  He said.

There was sort of a silent awkward pause that passed between us.  "Robbie,
there were so many good times here at this place and more at your family's
cabin.  Here is where it started for me at least, this is where like I said
I noticed you as someone who was not just another boy, but someone I wanted
to be with and yet not really sure what that meant in my mind."  I
swallowed hard to keep from crying.  "It is also where I need to
symbolically put an end to my yearning for you."

"Like I said in my response to your email, I knew this day would come at
some point.  I am so sorry I failed to be the man you needed me to be."  He
said.

I shook my head.  "No, Robbie.  The relationship did not blossom as it
could have due to various reasons for which we both are to blame.  Me for
being so awkward about commitment when I was heading off to join the Army,
but I am not here to place blame.  I am here to transition our relationship
into one of friendship and to put to rest any lingering possibility that we
could have a future together."  I said.

Robbie looked at the ground then up at the sky then over at the pond and
finally back at me.  He swallowed hard as well, like I had previously,
possibly for the same reasons.  "You are right.  I created a situation by
marrying Janice that cannot be easily undone and it would be wrong of me to
make you put your life on hold waiting for the day when I would be free
again to join you."

"Robbie, just so you know.  I have met someone else who seems to enjoy
being my significant other.  This closure between us will allow me to open
my heart more fully to him and hopefully I can love him like I loved you."
I said.

We hugged again.  Standing there sobbing a little, but holding each other.
As we were pulling away from each other, I held Robbie's hand and looked
him in the eyes.  "I want you to know I regret nothing.  I am so glad I met
you, I am glad to have fallen in love with you and to have had the
opportunity to have had the sex we had together.  I am glad I was able to
give you that precious gift of my virginity for I gave it to the guy I was
madly in love with.  I will always be thankful for how well you treated me,
it provided me with valuable insight and guidance as to how I should love
and make love to someone."  I paused and then leaned back closer to Robbie,
I kissed him on the cheek.  "I will always love you for the man you are and
will cherish our friendship ever more.  Thank you."  I said and turned to
walk back to my truck.

Robbie waved at me as I swung my truck around and motored back down the
roadway towards the gate.  Sure I was saddened, but I knew a new chapter in
my life could now begin.  Although, it was going to be quite the minefield
for sure.

After closing the gate one more time, I was back on blacktop and heading
for the freeway.  A few hours later I was pulling up to my house and
parking in my garage.  I sat in the truck after the garage door had closed
and listed the silence.

---

It was late in the night when I dragged myself into the house.  It was
still dark in the house and once I had keyed in the alarm code the house
settled back to silence.  My phone chimed and lit up casting a glow about
the room.

A text from Greg: 'heading to bed hope you are home safe'

I wanted to respond, but I remembered I needed to connect with Brad first.
I kicked off my boots and headed upstairs to my bedroom and finally was
able to lay down on my bed.  I kept staring at the display on my phone,
Greg's message was there.

I scrolled to the contacts again and pulled up Brad.  I engaged the call
and in a couple of rings Brad's voice came on the line.

"Hi Gary."  Brad greeted me.

I took a deep breath and sighed.  "Hi Brad."

"Hmm, are you okay?"  He asked.

"Yeah, I am okay.  Never knew how I had dreaded this task, but now that it
is over I can finally move forward."  I said.

"Okay, so how did it feel when you told Robert?  I am not trying to be
mean, I want you to understand and connect the emotion with the action."
Brad counseled.

"Damn it, if you want me to tell you it hurt badly and while I know in my
heart you were right, it was not easy."  I confessed.

"Gary, it was never supposed to be easy.  However, the longer you cling to
a hope of rekindling a relationship with Robert, or anyone in your past,
the less likely you will be to really accept a new relationship.  You had
to close that door, not smother the emotion or kill the memory.  You just
need to get your heart and mind in synch about it and that will let you
move on."  Brad stated.

"Yeah, you are right of course."  I answered.

"Okay, so now that you have started the process of moving on from Robert,
what would you like to do next?"  Brad asked.

"I am not sure what you want to know?  I am not sure of anything right
now."  I stated.

"Gary, what is the first thought that pops into your mind when you think
about Greg, now?"  Brad asked.

I sighed deeply.  I closed my eyes and thought about Greg.  I cleared my
throat and began to put words to the thought.  "Well Brad, as I lay here
thinking, the first thing that comes to mind is his sparkling hazel eyes
and then how I so adore that smile and the freckles on his nose.  I guess
that would be my first thought of Greg.  His face and welcoming smile."  I
said.

There was a few moments of silence before Brad spoke again.  "Well, hmm."
He started and then paused.  "This would be easier and more informative if
I were there with you.  That covers the physical image, any emotional items
that you feel now?"  Brad asked.

I shook my head and ran my free hand through my hair.  "I would have to say
that I miss him and that I hope he is not making a mistake with me."  I
confessed.

"Okay, better.  Are you certain you are concerned with him making a
mistake?"  Brad pressed.

I nodded, although knowing Brad could not see it and then answered.  "Yes,
I don't want him to be hurt and I want him to feel comfortable with the
choice, but I also don't want him to feel obligated.  I want him to know he
is free to..."  I started and trailed off.

"Free to what?"  Brad asked.

I cleared my throat again and sighed.  "To say no.  To say that he had fun,
but that he is not in love with me.  I need to make sure he knows I would
understand if he chose to say goodbye."  I stated and felt the tears roll
out the corners of my eyes down into my ears.

"Well Gary, I think you have crossed a good threshold here and are actually
ready to have a relationship.  The only remaining thing is for you to
reconcile the age gap in your mind and understand what it means in Greg's
life."  Brad consoled me somewhat.

"Oh, is that all?"  I asked a bit sarcastically.

Brad laughed.  "Gary, I wish I was there to hug you and tell you it will be
alright.  I won't kid you.  You are going to have to put forth some effort
and also build in some trust as well as make sure Greg can trust you."  He
said.

Trust me, oh I had not thought about it.  "What kind of trust are you
thinking about?"  I asked.

Brad laughed heartily on the other end of the phone.  "Oh crap Gary.  The
kind of trust two boyfriends must have.  Greg needs to know you won't be
picking up any of his friends or classmates as well as any other boys you
come across and you are going to have be faithful to him until such time as
he says you can have a play date or something, if he ever does."  Brad
instructed, then continued.  "No, before you ask, you cannot go ask him if
you can have some side fling.  It has to be more of his idea than anything
else.  He has to learn the difference between innocent flirtations and
serious, take your cock out now and let me suck it type of contact.  He
also has to be comfortable with the friends with benefits type of
relationship you and I have, but if he is not comfortable with it then we
can only be platonic friends."  Brad finished.

"Ohhh, boy."  Was all I said.  Brad was right of course.  He and I had
plenty of years of experience understanding the interactions of the gay
psyche and male on male flirtation and sexual advances.  Greg was just
learning.

I decided to press Brad for some clarification as to when I can freely
contact Greg.  "Hey Brad, now that I am at least moving forward, can I
contact Greg?"

"Think about Greg, his age, the expectations of his parents and school.
Then if it is appropriate, contact him when you would create the least
controversy or situation where he gets in trouble."  Brad responded.

"Okay, you are right.  I have to be more aware of his needs."  I said.

"Ah, yes.  I think you are catching on now Gary."  Brad praised.

I laughed.  "Brad, since you are so in tune with what it takes to make a
relationship work, why haven't you settled down. For that matter why
haven't we ever settled down together?"  I asked.

I could hear Brad's booming laugh on the other end of the phone.  "Ha, good
question.  For starters, since I think I know so much about relationships
of the heart, I doubt I have the patience to actually settle down.  More to
the point of the second part of your question, Gary, I love you too much to
cage you by making you mine.  You and I are great friends and I love that
sweet tasting cock of yours, feels great in my ass, but you need something
I cannot give you in the love department, an unconditional acceptance that
you may one day self destruct.  Maybe putting out this flame you had
kindling on low for Robert will subdue the fire in your soul, I don't
know."  Brad offered, paused and then finally continued, "My fear is one
day you will walk into a situation intent on saving someone, helping
someone or just being there for someone and all hell will be breaking loose
and you will end up dying because you are just there to help.  I will have
a terrible time staying strong if that day comes based on our current
relationship, doubt I could survive if I had a more emotional attachment to
you."  He confessed.

I was a bit subdued and reluctant to respond, but I had opened this can of
worms and wanted to make sure I understood what he was saying.  "Brad, come
on, if I am that unstable then why would you say it was okay for me to date
Greg?"  I asked.

"Hold on Gary.  I never said you were unstable.  Far from it.  There is
definitely a beast or rage within your soul, but somehow Greg has managed
to contain it, cage it, perhaps even tame it.  Or so it seems.  No not
unstable in the least, but so willing to die for a cause or someone that
eventually I fear that wish will be fulfilled.  As for Greg, he could never
find himself in safer hands.  If someone ever attempted to hurt him they
would come up against a force they would doubtfully live to regret."  Brad
paused and cleared his throat, then continued, "Remember, I have been
witness to your fearless and tiresome efforts under some very scary and
brutal situations.  Ones where you pissed me and others off with your
disregard for your own safety.  I just hope you can overcome that sort of
ends justify the means type of attitude."  He lamented.

"Fair enough, I guess I ain't perfect.  I had a job to do and I did it,
every time I was asked to commit to one, I did everything I was called upon
to do, you can't fault me for that."  I countered.

I could hear Brad sighing on the other end of the phone.  "Gary, I am not
arguing with you, only pointing out that based on historical fact, you have
had the utmost disregard for your personal well being and safety for as
long as I have known you.  Sure, I have always enjoyed your company.  We
have always gotten along very well and the benefits of being friends with
you have been very nice, oh very nice indeed.  That only means I know you
and right now from what you are telling me I believe you are capable of
committing to Greg and I don't want to see you fail.  I won't sugar coat
it, you are walking down a very rough and pothole strewn road."

I sighed even heavier.  "Well, it must be doomed to fail."  I managed to
get out and immediately Brad cut in, thankfully.

"Now hold on.  I did not say that.  No back doors and no exit routes.  You
have to commit to Greg if you want this to work."  He chastised me.

"Thanks for always having my back.  You are the best friend a guy could
ever have."  I said.

"You are welcome.  The feeling is mutual.  I think you should be fine.  Let
me know if you need me to come up and be with you, otherwise see you at the
cabin for Christmas and New Years."  Brad said.

That cheered me up some.  "Love you.  Take care.  Good bye Brad, see you at
the cabin for Christmas."  I said.

Brad closed with "Good bye.  Love you too Gary."

The call ended.  I set the phone on the night stand and let my arm lay
across my forehead.  I sighed and soon I was fast asleep.  I was dreaming.

Dreams are weird sometimes, funny at times.  Time warps in dreams and
things may even appear to be out of place.

I dreamt about the very first time I had met Robbie, I was 7 and he was
just about to turn 14.  We had moved back to my dad's hometown and went to
visit the farm of his best friend who happened to marry a girl that my dad
knew as well, not as a girlfriend though.  Anyway, there we were sitting at
the table when Robbie came in the door.  He had been out working with his
dad, my dad's friend Al.  He rode up on a dirt bike and clomped up the
stairs, into the house and kicked off his boots before his mom corralled
him and introduced him to the guests, me and my dad and mom.

He was a bit dusty and sweaty as he strode through the living room and his
mom directed him to go clean up.  I was struck by his good looks and the
strong looking arms and shoulders.  He seemed to be what I would think was
more muscular than most 14 year olds.  I recall thinking that I had never
really noticed other boys like I had noticed Robbie.  There was something
about him, the way he smiled, looked and carried himself that I considered
interesting.

Fast forward almost 4 years and I was laying in the bed of Robbie's
family's 5th Wheel trailer.  Me all of 11 and Robbie about to turn 18,
about a year after the first of many skinny dipping adventures.  Robbie
sucked my dick that night with my dry orgasm soon wracking my body, I
returned the favor and tasted his cum for the second time in my life up to
that point.  We slept together for the first time that night, naked and
snuggled close, no sexual intercourse, just the blowjobs.

Jumping two more years and I have just turned 13, Robbie decided to
celebrate by wrapping his naked butt in a bow and having me fuck his ass
for the first time.  It was one of his presents to me.  My first time
fucking someone and Robbie's first time being fucked.  Sure I was nowhere
near Robbie's size in the cock department, but he still reminded me to take
it easy.  It was different and when I came it was fantastic.

A few months later and we were back in the same bed at the Robbie's
family's cabin.  This time after draining a beer I offered my ass to Robbie
for his 20th birthday.  It hurt for sure, but in the end the initial pain
and discomfort was replaced by pleasure as Robbie rode my ass and as
gently, but firmly fucked it good.  Me a 13 year old newly deflowered boy
and this 20 year old man snuggled close in the afterglow of that sexual
interlude, my love for him growing more and more.

I came awake with a very hard, throbbing erection.  I was very close to
having a wet dream and had I remained asleep for much longer that is what
most likely would have happened.  The images faded.  Cathartic in nature,
sort of a release of the past.  As I lay there in the darkness thinking of
the fading dream based images, I thought about how hurt I felt when I had
to leave Robbie behind as we moved to Germany when I turned 14.  That was
the beginning of the end as it were for that relationship.

Although we had hooked up later in life, I never gave Robbie the indication
I wanted to settle down.  Thus a gap formed in our relationship, which was
formally closed earlier today when I said goodbye to him.

I retrieved my phone.  I scrolled through to the contacts for Greg.  I
smiled and felt kind of giddy when I saw his face as the profile picture
for his contact item on the phone.  I keyed up a text message.

'missing u.  please send me a schedule of events when u can. love u.'  I
keyed up and then sent the message.

I was drifting back to sleep thinking of various things over the next few
months that needed to be done and also trying to come up with ways I could
share time with Greg.

***** End - Part 6 - Together After the Fair - Life continues marching on

When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so
regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has
opened for us.  'Alexander Graham Bell'

With this transition there is hope that we can build a relationship
together, Greg and I, based on more than just sex.  I think I can find as
many willing sex partners as I want or at least that has been my
experience.  I am ready for the new chapter, ready to walk through that
newly opened door.

I hope you enjoyed reading.  If you liked this let me know.  Remember, the
fine folks at Nifty make all of this possible, but it costs money to
maintain it all.  If you like reading about these adventures please
consider donating to help the cause - http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html.

All comments welcome, let me know what you think: garystratford@yahoo.com