Date: Sat, 23 Feb 2002 17:40:49 -0500 From: Tom Cup <tom_cup@hotmail.com> Subject: Tommy Series (Growing Up - Revised) Chapter 6 Copyright 2000, 2001, 2002 by the Paratwa Partnership: A Colorado Corporation. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, except in the case of reviews, without written permission from the Paratwa Partnership, Inc, 354 Plateau Drive, Florissant, CO 80816 This is a fictional story involving alternality sexual relationships. If this type of material offends you, please do not read any further. This material is intended for mature adult audiences. Names, characters, locations and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. ************************************************************************ Tommy By Tom Cup Part 2 Growing Up CHAPTER 6 The next day was weird. In gym, Randy was, of course, one of the captains and Keith was picked first on his team. That was no surprise. What was a surprise is that I was Randy's second choice to be on his team. Keith just shrugged his shoulders, and Randy had a kind of half smirk on his face, as I walked toward them in disbelief. At lunch, instead of sitting with his boys, Randy sat with Keith and I chattering nonstop about this sport team or that. None of which I gave a damn about and truthfully I wished that he would just go away. I had had my fill by the time school was over and decided to walk home instead of taking the bus. I also wanted to stop by the apartment building where Mr. Westenberg lived and check the mailboxes for his name and apartment number. I didn't bother to tell Keith, not because I was mad about Randy, but because I didn't really think to tell him. Besides, I just needed some time alone to think and try to sort things out. If I had told him, he would have insisted on walking with me. I had just found Mr. Westenberg's mailbox when he came through the front door of the apartment building. For a moment I was mortified as he stopped dead in his tracks staring at me. "Hi Mr. Westenberg," I managed, "You said if I ever needed to talk, I could talk to you." "Yeah," he said relaxing a little, "Yeah, I did Tommy. But I meant at school, uh, really you shouldn't be here." I knew what he meant. Mr. Steel and I had had this conversation also. I also knew that if I gave in it might mean never having the chance to be alone with him away from school. "Can't I come in and talk this once," I begged, "Everyone would tease me if we did it at school." We both knew there was some truth in that and I could see him trying to reason it out in his mind. "Please Mr. Westenberg," I begged. My last plea got him, and even as he shook his head no, he fumbled for his keys and said, "This once." We went downstairs to the apartment on the left. He threw the backpack he was carrying in a corner and told me to have a seat on the couch. He sat in the armchair to the left of where I was sitting. I began looking around the room hoping that something would come to my mind. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't very well blurt out, "I'm here because I really have the hots for you!" We sat in silence for what seemed like an eternity before Mr. Westenberg asked, "Tommy, what did you want to talk about?" "I don't know," I lied, "It's just, sometimes I get real lonely and there's no one I can talk too." He nodded and asked, "What about Keith? You two seem to be pretty good friends." "Yeah," I replied, "We are but sometimes you need someone older to talk to." "I see," he stated. "I mean," I continued, "Sometimes kids my age need an adult friend too." "Like your friend Mr. Steel?" he asked I was shocked for a moment that he knew Mr. Steel's name. Then I realized that a lot of people probably knew. "Yeah," I said, "He was my best friend. We did a lot of things together. He had a cabin in the woods and we would go there sometimes. I liked to fish and stuff with him. We would talk all the time." "I'm sorry for your loss," he said, "It must be hard to lose someone to whom you feel so close." This wasn't going the way I had planned. I was beginning to feel really down and tears were beginning to well up in my eyes. I had hoped that he would somehow know why I came; that I wanted him to touch me, to hold me. I wanted him to be my new Mr. Steel. "Tommy," he said breaking me from my own thoughts, "Maybe you should talk to someone who can help you through this. I'm just a teacher. I'm not trained to talk to you about things like this." "I don't want to talk to a stupid shrink," I blurted out, "I had one and hated it. I just wanted you to be my friend." I was crying now and stood up to leave but tripped over his coffee table. He got up to help me up but I pulled away. I stomped to the door and stood there staring at it with tears running down my face. I felt his hand on my shoulder and I turned to look up at him. God, he was so handsome. "I'm sorry Tommy," he said and I grabbed him and hugged him. He didn't pull away but he didn't hug me back either. He just kind of patted me on the back. I held on to him feeling the warmth of his body against mine. Finally, he gently moved me away from himself and held me at arms length. "You don't like me," I said. "I do like you Tommy," he replied, "But I can never replace your friend. No one can. I'm just your teacher. I care about you. I like you. But ultimately, I'm only your teacher." I nodded, dried my face while I turned and opened the door, "I'm sorry I bothered you," I said and started through the door. Mr. Westenberg grabbed my arm. "Wait Tommy," he said, "Please don't leave angry." I stopped just outside his door looking back at him. He stepped to the side opening the door wider. I was really confused but decided to go back in. He closed the door behind me. Then he just dropped into the armchair, covered his face with both hands, and said, "Jesus." I stood at the door watching him and waiting for him to say something more. When he finally looked up, he smiled at me and said, "Come on and sit down. I'll get us some Cokes and we can talk." He went into the kitchen and returned with the Cokes. I couldn't look up at him and I could feel that I was a bit flushed. "Well, what are we going to do Tommy?" he asked, "You want me to be your friend but I have to be your teacher and...." "You can be both," I interrupted "Tommy," he kind of whined, "This isn't supposed to be happening. I'm not supposed to be having contact with you kids outside of normal school functions. I think you know that." I nodded but said, "I just want to come over sometimes. I wouldn't tell anyone or nothing; and I promise I'll pay more attention in class and do my homework." Mr. Westenberg laughed then and I had to laugh too. "So!" he chuckled, "All I have to do is agree to be your friend and you'll do your school work, eh?" I smiled and nodded. "In all your classes?" he posed. I rolled my eyes but said, "Yeah, OK." With that, he extended his hand and we shook on it. We agreed that I could come over on Wednesdays but I had to bring all my schoolwork from the previous week with me. Mr. Westenberg would go over it with me and then I had to do my homework from that day while he graded papers and prepared for the next day's lessons. Afterwards, we would watch a movie, chat, play a board game or, if my papers were particularly good, he would take me out for something to eat. When I got home that night, Keith was waiting for me outside my house pacing back and forth on the sidewalk. "Where the hell have you been?" he asked throwing his hands in the air. I told him I just needed to be alone for a while and wanted to walk home to think. He wasn't happy and told me again how sorry he was about taking Randy to "our cave." I told him to forget about it and that I wasn't mad that he had Randy as a friend too. "I know," he said kicking at some invisible object on the ground, "I just don't want anything to happen between us. I really love you Tommy. Honest, we just fool around a little. You know, just jerked each other. Nothing else happened. I swear." I felt like grabbing him and kissing him right then and there but I knew someone could be watching. "It's OK," I said again, "Really." "But he knows about us," Keith continued, "I mean, he knows that we fool around sometimes." He looked up at me and I could see the tears welling up in his eyes. "What does he know?" I asked a little nervous about what Randy might say to his boys or God knows who. "Just that we go there to fool around," Keith answered. "Well," I said, "If he says anything, he was there too. So I don't care." Keith came over and hugged me saying, "I'm sorry." ************ Mom wasn't too happy either when I got in the house. I had to explain to her and Dad why I was home so late. It was the first time since the argument about going to Dr. Richards that I thought that I was going to get paddled. I even asked. But Dad shook his head and told me those days were over, and that we would have to come up with other ways of dealing with disagreements. I was so relieved that I went over to him and hugged him and apologized for being out so late without permission. It was the first time since I was really little that I could remember my father kissing me and telling me he loved me. Dad said that he had some other things that he wanted to talk to me about also. The long and the short of it was that he was being transferred. We would be leaving for Germany shortly after school let out for the summer. That gave me only about four and a half months before I would have to say good-bye to my friends. He told me he knew I didn't like it but that that was the way it had to be: he had his orders. For some reason, I decided to call Shelly, Mr. Steel's aunt. She was surprised and happy to hear from me. I told her about what had happened since we last saw each other, the good and the bad. She was really upset about the paddling but I told her things were much better now. She asked me about the motorcycle and I told her that I wasn't allowed to ride it yet but that I was taking good care of it. We both talked about how much we missed Ron. I didn't know why I hadn't thought of it before but she was the only adult I could really talk to about Mr. Steel. She also told me that she could make it possible for me to have access to the property anytime I wanted. I told her that I would really like that. "Nobody seems to understand why I like remembering him," I told her. "That's not true," she replied, "I do." We decided that we would keep in touch more often. She told me that she really felt like I was a part of her family. She said she knew it was silly but that was the way she felt. "I know you loved him very much," she told me. I told her that I still did. After, I hung up I didn't feel bad about moving. I didn't even have the feeling that I had lost Mr. Steel. Really, I hadn't known I had been feeling that way. It was as though talking to his aunt brought him back to me. ************************************************************************ You'll find my newest writings at http://tomcup.iscool.net. I also recommend visiting these sites: Boyztown - Gay Pictures and Stories http://www.boyztown.net Girlztown - Lesbian Pictures and Stories http://www.girlztown.net Eroscities - Featuring the writings of Richard Dean http://www.eroscities.com Alternative Lifestyles of Youth - Advice, commentary and Youth Related Stories http://www.anysexuality.com All my best, Tom Cup "Why is it that the words we write for ourselves are so much better than the words we write for others?" Sean Connery as William Forrester in the film "Finding Forrester."