Date: Tue, 20 Nov 2012 01:00:29 -0800
From: califox08@hotmail.com
Subject: Trust Me Part 4

All the usual disclaimers apply. If your local laws prohibit you from
reading this then please leave now.This is a work of pure fiction. Any
resemblance to actual people or events is purely coincidence.

Please send all feedback to CaliFox08@hotmail.com. I love reading ALL
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Thank you Les for proofing my work and providing great conversation.

CaliFox08@hotmail.com


                                Trust Me Part 4

     I probably held him for 10 minutes as he clutched onto my shoulders. I
didn't say anything and just continued to embrace him. I could say that
words weren't needed and I just wanted him to feel loved, but if I am being
totally honest, I just didn't know what to say. Still, it seemed that
whatever I was doing seemed to be working. His breathing slowed and he
seemed to get his emotions back in check. He finally let go of my shoulders
and returned to his seat. He looked at me with vulnerable bloodshot eyes,
then darted his gaze at the floor as though he was embarrassed. I guess
that's only fair. I haven't even known the kid for 24 hours yet so I
suppose I was making good progress. Rome wasn't built in a day after all. I
thought I'd tell him what I had planned for the day and hopefully push past
this tension. I walked to the kitchen and started cleaning our plates as we
talked over the bar.

     "Listen, I was thinking we could go to the mall and get some clothes
for you today... there's nothing wrong with your clothes, it's just" He
interrupted me before I could finish.

     "I know my clothes are bad." he said in a low voice keeping his eyes
on the ground. "I just don't have any money. I can't afford new clothes."
He finished in a sheepish tone.

     "Don't worry about the money." I assured. "Just go shower, clean
yourself up, and put on the best outfit you have." He looked up at me
before he responded.

     "I can't pay you back... why are you doing this?" I stopped scrubbing
the plates and looked up to meet his eyes over the bar.

     "Because I like you, alright?" his head crooked slightly as though my
words made me appear crazy. "Jesus, just go shower." With that little piece
of encouragement he finally decided to break the stare and made his slow
journey up the stairs. I heard the water turn on as I was just finishing
the dishes. I started heading back up to my room to change shirts as this
was now the second time I had been soaked in tears. As I heard the water
turn off I heard the bathroom door open a second later.

     "David, are you there?" he called out.

     "What's up Cody?" I shouted back from my room.

     "Well I sort of left the first towel in the spare room last night." I
walked out of my room and to the hall closet where I could see his soaked
head peeking out and dripping into the hallway. His blonde hair seemed to
curl when it was soaked and clung to his forehead. I fished out a clean
towel and handed it to him through the slightly open door. I'll admit that
I planned on sneaking a peek at what I could only imagine to be an amazing
butt, but was slightly disappointed to see the mirrors were heavily fogged
when peering into the slightly cracked doorway.

     "Thanks." He said and shut the door promptly.

     "Just hang both towels up when you're done ok? I'll be waiting down
stairs for you."

     "Alright." He called out behind the door. Although we had shared a few
words with each other, this is one of the few times I heard him speak
without him being super emotional. His voice seemed to give off the
impression that he was more than likely just beginning puberty. The type of
voice that sounds as though the inner boy and young man are fighting over
what he should sound like.  Almost an element of huskiness or rasp... I
don't know, it's hard to explain.

     As I sat on the couch waiting for Cody it was really the first time I
started wondering how this was going to turn out in the long run. If his
brother is in jail, does his custody of Cody forfeit to the state? Could I
step up and adopt him if I decided that's what I wanted to do? I clearly
had a lot of research to do but I wasn't really stressing over the adoption
thing at the moment. A decision like that is huge and would change both of
our lives. It would take a lot of time and thought before reaching a
conclusion on that subject. No, what I was concerned about was the fact
that I was more than likely kidnapping this kid according to the law. Who
knows, maybe he has an aunt or grandma furiously looking for him after they
heard about his brother's unfortunate situation. I had my arms crossed
staring into space and it took Cody's hand waving in front of my face to
break my train of thought.

     "Hello?" He asked. I just looked up at him from the couch. "I said
your name like two times."

     "Sorry, sometimes I lose myself in thought." I smiled after I said
that basically acknowledging the fact that, yes, it is a bit weird.

     "I'm the same way, my brother always comments on it." He gave back a
faint grin which was nice.

     "Well then, I guess we should get going."

     The drive was quiet at first. Again, I kept the music off to encourage
a bit of conversation. He wasn't nearly as distant this time around and
even flashed me a few glances from time to time. Our eyes met once and it's
a good thing he broke the stare or I might not have been able to bring my
eyes back to the road.  Although he was human and not something you judge
purely on aesthetics, I really did wonder how anyone could disregard such
an amazing looking boy as though he were garbage. I hadn't even known him
that long and he already meant so much more to me than a typical
stranger. Yes he was beautiful, and yes, maybe I attempted to sneak a peek
while handing him a towel this morning. But I knew my feelings ran deeper
than that. I wasn't keeping him around for myself, I was keeping him around
because he needed and deserved it. After 15 minutes of driving, he finally
broke the awkward silence.

     "Listen... I know... or what I mean to say... thanks for everything
you're doing.  But I don't understand. When are you going to turn me in or
put me in foster care?"

     "Are you in a hurry?" I asked.

     "Well... no. I just think you should give me some warning is all."

     "So you can run away again?" He replied nothing after that comment. I
suspected he didn't want to confirm my suspicions. "I don't want to promise
you things I may later break. We just met you know? I thought you could
stay a few days and we'll take it from there. Does that sound good to you?"

     "Yes." He said immediately before I could even get the final word out
of my mouth.

     We arrived at the mall and I was instantly hit by all the fantastic
smells coming from the food court. I knew we just ate, but I would have to
get myself a corndog from Hot Dog on a Stick before the day was
concluded. $3.50 is outrageous for a single corndog... but I swear they
lace the batter with crack because I always come back even if the prices do
go up faster than gasoline in the summer. We made our way into the mall and
started passing various shops with t-shirts and jackets displayed. Cody
would look briefly through the windows and would just continue walking. I
wore various brands of t-shirts such as Fox, DC, and Osiris. I knew this
was currently the style and even more so for a boy his age. I didn't
understand what he was doing or what he was looking for.

     "You don't like Fox or something?" I asked.

     "Well" he began "It's sort of expensive and" I didn't even let him
finish.

     "Cody, quit worrying alright? Come on, were going back a few
stores. They had a bunch of nice looking shirts."

     "I'm serious." He said with his arms crossed. "I know that stuff is
expensive and I feel weird making you buy me clothes."

     "You're not making me buy it." I confirmed with a smile on my
face. "Do you see my house, my car? I know I don't drive a Lambo but come
on, I've got leather seats son." I said in a joking manner. He smiled a bit
at that last comment. "You really think Chibs isn't going to eat tonight if
I buy you some clothes today?"

     "Chibs?" he said in a confused tone.

     "My hedgehog, his name is Chibbi"

     "Oh is that what that thing is? I've never seen one before... he's
cute."

     "Yes he is and that's his only saving grace. I don't think I'd put up
with cleaning his cage once a week if he was ugly."  I joked. "Now come on,
were going back a few stores to a nice one I saw... If you feel weird not
knowing how much to get then how about I give you a number to work with?
I'm thinking 10 shirts and 7 pairs of pants and shorts. We'll get stupid
little things like socks and underwear last."

     "Well... ok, if you're sure."  He said in a questioning tone. I put my
arm around his shoulders.

     "I'm very sure," I assured him.

     We walked back with my arm draped around him. It felt nice and
although I didn't necessarily feel like a father figure, I did feel
somewhat like a brother. I was legally nothing to this kid but I felt
morally obligated to continue what I was doing and that's fine as I was
legitimately enjoying his company. His two main emotions so far have
consisted of mad and sad but the brief glimpses I've gotten of his smile
make me feel great. I wanted to make his loneliness a distant memory and
make him feel loved.

     I didn't expect him to select everything in one place but that is
exactly what he did. I am very picky when it comes to clothes. I cruise for
hours hopping from one store to the next till I find something that I have
to have. I think Cody was a bit more anxious than me however as he was
basically dressed in rags. Goodwill would more than likely discard
everything he owned. Pants with holes in them and shirts with designs so
faded they were no longer legible. When he emerged from the changing room
it seemed like he took on a completely new identity.  His old clothes
brought sympathy at first glance, but now he seemed like a sexy,
respectable teenager.

     "What do you think?" He asked.

     "You look great I confirmed," and believe me, I meant it. We went up
to the counter with all of his choices. I was tempted to shove him out the
door because I knew he was going to make a fuss about the price. A few
hundred dollars probably seems like a small fortune when you were
previously living in a storage unit. All said and done, the damage came out
to just over $500.00.

     "David..." he said when the cashier announced the price.

     "Don't worry about it little man." Is all I said as I laid out cash on
the counter.

     "Would you like to donate a dollar to St Jude's children hospital?"
the cashier asked.

     "Sure." I said while looking directly at Cody. I was hoping this would
spark a bit of humor with him. Just to reassure him that money isn't the
only thing in the world that matters and $500.00 doesn't mean a damn thing
to you if you're an adult with something going for yourself. We walked out
with three bags in hand, one with shirts, one with pants, and one with his
old clothes. I figured he'd throw them away in his own time. I just didn't
want to make him feel worthless and recommend he throw them out, especially
not in public. "Let's go upstairs and hit up one more place before we
eat. I need a new pair of board shorts and so do you. I have a pool and spa
in the backyard so I'm guessing we'll swim from time to time."

     "Awesome!" He exclaimed while we were riding the escalator to the
second floor. "Thanks a lot David"

     "Don't sweat it. I wanted to do it."

     "Which I still don't understand." He confessed.

     "You think everyone out there is just a piece of shit fending for
themselves or something?" I questioned.

     "Well no, but I don't think I've ever met somebody like you."

     "Well maybe you haven't met very many good people."

     "Maybe." is all he said. He looked ahead and bit his lower lip like he
was in mid- thought.

     "You always bite your lip when you're nervous?" I asked.

     "What are you talking about?"

     "I've just noticed you bite your lower lip sometimes... yeah, you have
2 red marks on your lower lip from your front teeth." I never took the time
to notice this fine detail on his face but something about it was mildly
attractive. "I shake my legs when I'm nervous. My mom always used to call
me a leg jiggler." I laughed a bit when I thought back on her words. Cody
then slightly stuck his tongue out and ran it over his lower lip, probably
feeling the slightly rough skin from his constant biting.

     "Yeah, I guess I do." He said.

     We entered JC Penney shortly after on the second floor. We started
making our way to the board shorts when we passed the shoes and realized I
forgot that Cody would need a new pair of shoes as well. Cody looked over
but said nothing and we continued on our way.

     "You're so funny." I said.

     "What? How?" he asked.

     "You were hoping I would forget to buy you shoes. Nice try. I'll
admit, I almost did."

     "Aww geeze David come on, there is nothing wrong with the shoes I have
now."  He said in a begging manner. I stopped walking and looked directly
in his eyes."

     "Yeah they're great, keep them for when I have you do yard work bud."
I smiled really big at that comment.

     "Shut up!" he said and playfully hit me in the arm. We continued
walking to the back of the store with all the summer apparel. "Why do you
need board shorts anyways?" You have a pool but no shorts? Do you never
swim or something?"  My answer was slightly awkward but I saw no reason to
lie.

     "Well, to tell you the truth, I usually swim alone and I just go
nude. Not like anyone is around or anything. My closest neighbor is about
two miles away."

     "Oh..." he responded shyly.

     "Yea, I figured 24 hours was a bit too soon to skinny dip." I
teased. He let out a slight "heh..." under his breath. I decided I would
change the subject as he was clearly uncomfortable with it. "So yea, just
look at your waist size in your pants or shorts we just bought and pick
something out you like... I've seen you pick out clothes and I'll probably
be a bit longer than you finding something. Just get some socks and
underwear along with a new pair of shoes and meet me back here ok? And if I
catch you choosing the cheapest pair of shoes then I'll make you get two
pair!"

     "All right, all right" he said while flashing that smile I loved so
much. "See you in a bit" he said as he started walking back to the shoes.

     "Oh, and find a jacket!" I shouted as he was almost out of sight. He
looked back and acknowledged that he heard me. As I expected, he was way
faster than I was. I had just decided on a pair of board shorts when he
returned with shoes, socks, underwear, a white Fox hoodie, and a pair of
shorts he just snagged off the rack while he approached me. "Nice
jacket. You ready to eat? We'll put our bags in the car first."

     "Yup, where do you want to eat?"

     "Wherever you want, there are tons of places in the food court. We
don't have to eat at the same place. I know I'm going to get a corndog from
Hot Dog on a Stick. They are so good and the lemonade is amazing." I
informed him.

     "I've never had it. I'll give it a shot." He said. I jokingly stopped
walking to the registers as he took several more steps without me.

     ".... What did you just say?" I said in a serious, low voice. He
started laughing pretty hard.

     "What? I've never had it. It's just a corndog! He defended."

     "Hey... watch your mouth or you don't get one." I threatened. Again,
he laughed. I loved making him laugh.

     "Oh my God you're crazy." He said while laughing. We made it another
few steps before I heard somebody call my name from behind me.

     "David?" the voice asked.

     There was no mistaking it. It took me months to get that voice and
those feelings out of my head... What a terrible time to bump into my
ex-boyfriend... I spun around and saw him looking at the two of us.

     "Lance, hi. How are you?"

     "I'm fine... who's this?" he asked in an almost judgmental tone.

     Holy shit I didn't know how I was going to get out of this. I quickly
assessed the situation and determined that attempting to fool Lance would
be stupid. I was with him for far too long and he knew everything about
me. I couldn't magically come up with an excuse as to why I had a 14 year
old kid with me.

     "This is Cody, my nephew." I stated. Lance knew damn well I didn't
have a nephew, but I didn't lie to fool him, I lied to conceal the facts
from Cody. I hadn't even told him I was bi yet and I wasn't about to reveal
this little detail in the middle of JC Penney by having a lengthy
conversation with my ex-boyfriend.

     "Ohh... all right. Nice to meet you." Lance extended his hand to shake
Cody's but he had so many bags that he had to set some down to accept his
offer.

     "Nice to meet you sir" is all Cody said as he shook his hand.

     "Well, we better get going." I announced. "We have plans. Nice seeing
you again Lance."

     "Likewise and yeah, I bet." Lance said.

     We turned and started walking away when Cody began to ask questions.

     "Who was that?" Cody quizzed.

     "His name is Lance. He's just an old friend."

     "Are you mad at him? You seemed like you didn't want to talk."

     "Not at all, I'm just hungry." I clarified.

     "... Your nephew?" Cody asked.

     "He's just an old friend and I didn't think you wanted me to share all
your details. Was I wrong?"

     "No no you're right. It was a good idea."

     The corndog was as good as I remember and Cody approved as well. We
talked for a while about food and what he did and didn't like but I felt as
though the mood was slightly spoiled by running into Lance for the first
time in months. I didn't make myself obvious but I was constantly looking
over my shoulder, wondering if he was watching me or something. When he saw
Cody and heard my obvious lie he probably suspected the worst. I'd be
amazed if he ever tried to contact me again. I'd more than likely have to
be the one to straighten things out with him later and tell him the details
he needed to know. Even if he was my ex-boyfriend and I never planned on
seeing him in the future, I still didn't like the idea of someone thinking
I was some sort of child predator. We went back to my car and my phone
buzzed with a new text message before I could put my keys in the ignition.

     "Is that your friend?" Cody asked.

     "More than likely" I said as I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

          David... what the fuck are you doing? Ur nephew? Holy shit. You
          told me that you were attracted to younger, but you said you'd
          never act on your urges.  I'm worried about you.
          -Lance-

     I was slightly angry when I read the text but I looked at it from his
point of view and realized I probably would have reached the same
conclusion. I didn't even want to respond but I knew if I didn't then it
would only appear more suspect and he might do something like call the
cops. Lance loved me at one point, but I don't think he'd sit back and
watch a child get abused. I thought it best to attempt to defuse the
situation as much as possible without feeling like I was violating the
confidence Cody entrusted me with.

          You have my word it's not what you think Lance. I've always
          told you I take pride in my honesty and you have my word,
          nothing is happening so ease your mind. I can't tell you a lot
          right now as a lot of this is Cody's business as well. I don't
want
          to betray him and say anything I shouldn't but I promise we'll
          talk about this again if you like. He's in good hands. I promise.
          -Fox-

     A few minutes into our drive home and I had a response. I was happy
knowing this awkward conversation was about to come to a close.

          Alright, I trust you. Just please be careful David. ttyl.
          -Lance-

     Thank God my words actually meant something. I've had a lot of people
say they do not like me because I say what I feel and a lot of the times,
what I feel is negative. People have described me as cold or numb but I
don't think that at all.  I just think of myself as brutally honest. One
thing that cannot be disputed is the fact that I don't lie, even if it
makes me look like the scum of the earth. I'd come clean with Cody in
time... but that just wasn't the place. Lance knows this better than
anyone. I had always kept my attraction for younger boys/guys a well-kept
secret. There was a time when I was in love with Lance so deeply I thought
I could tell him anything. I really thought I was going to remain with him
for the rest of my life. I decided I would finally show him that small
piece of myself that I was so ashamed of because I trusted him... He did
not take it well. The more I told him, the more questions he had which I
would answer honestly. By the time all his questions were answered he saw
me as an entirely different person and the love he had for me had
evaporated. I sometimes wonder if I should have lied in order to maintain
our happiness. I'm sorry, but as much as I love Chibs, it doesn't even
compare to waking up next to somebody in bed. We were about half way home
before Cody began to talk again.

     "Well thanks again David. No one has ever done anything like this for
me. Well, not since my parents anyway."

     "Don't mention it. Like I said, I was happy to do it." A few more
minutes passed with nothing but the sound of tires going 70 on the highway.

     "You seem quiet, you sure you're ok?" he asked. I found it almost
ironic that he was the one asking if I was ok. I guess I had a tough time
hiding my thoughts.  Maybe this was the time to say something. Better now
rather than actually getting attached to this kid only to find he grew up
with prejudices that I could never truly uproot.

     "Uhh... alright" I began. "Lance is not just an old friend. He's my
ex-boyfriend Cody." I saw him look over at me through my peripheral vision
but I kept my eyes on the road and continued my explanation.  "I'm
bi-sexual, NOT gay. I emphasize not gay because it seems like a lot of
people label you as confused when you tell them you go both ways. I don't
get what's so hard to understand about not caring what is below the
belt... I guess where most people see male or female all I see is a human
being. Personality is really the only thing to consider in my
opinion. Anyways, we broke up around six months ago and haven't really
talked since. I panicked when I saw him in the mall a bit. He obviously
knew you weren't my nephew but I figured telling you this in the middle of
a store might have been a bit overwhelming... although, for future
reference, I do think we should keep the nephew story, just saying." I was
surprised to see how quickly he responded.

     "I don't care if you're bi." He stated.

     "Well good, that's nice to hear." I said. I smiled in his direction
for a moment and continued on with the drive. His next question was obvious
but I didn't think he'd actually come out and ask this very moment.

     "Why did you guys break up?" he asked.

     "... That's a bit personal. No offense."

     "What?" he remarked. "After everything I've told you?"

     "That's a good point but some things should be left alone... or at
least for the time being." I started to shake my leg, wondering if he would
easily drop this or continue to push.

     "Fine." He said in a slightly disappointed tone. "But you'll tell me
some other time?"

     "For sure man, another time." I assured him.

     "So when did you know you were bi? If you don't mind me asking that."
The way he was cautiously walking around delicate subjects was cute to me
and I appreciated his understanding of emotions. He seemed pretty deep for
someone his age really.

     "Not at all" I said. "I'm basically an open book and very few subjects
are off limits so if you ever want to ask something then just fire
away. But yea, I've asked myself this very question a long time ago and
after some thought, I can say with certainty I was 9 years old.

     "Wow that's pretty darn young." He said. "How can you be so sure?"

     "Because the first boy I was ever attracted to was in a movie that I
saw in theaters. I just looked up what year the movie was released and I
knew."

     "What movie? Who was the boy?" he sounded almost anxious to hear the
answer.

     "... I don't know... I've never told anybody this. Not even Lance."

     "Oh come on!" He hollered. I've told you almost everything there is to
know about me. You have to tell me this. I promise I won't tell." That last
sentence made me smile a bit as flashbacks of trading secrets in middle
school came to mind.

     "Fiiiinne" I said with a long sigh after. "It was Anichan from Star
Wars Episode I."  I said slightly embarrassed. "I don't even like Star Wars
so I'm actually surprised I saw it in theaters. I was probably dragged
there with somebody at the time."

     "I know him! We'll not literally; I mean I have seen him in the
movie."

     "You don't say." I said in a smartass tone while smiling at him in the
passenger seat.

     "Oh my God shut up." He said in a playful voice and reached over and
punched me again. "Your arm is going to be bruised if you keep it up."

     "My bruised arm for your bruised ego, it's only fair." We both grinned
at each other after that remark.

     As we pulled into the driveway Cody reached over and clicked the
button on my visor to open the garage. I turned the car off and looked out
of the garage to see a great sunset. I stood and admired it for a moment
before I went around the car to help Cody bring in his new wardrobe. I
flipped on the lights and like clockwork, Chibs ran under his blanket to
seek darkness. I began to walk up the stairs with Cody following me so we
could put his clothes away. I sat the bags on the bed and opened the
closet. It was completely bare other than a few suits I only wore for
special occasions.

     "Well, it's all yours. I'll get you some hangers from the laundry
room. You want to hop in the spa in about 20 minutes? The sun is almost
down and I could use a night soak with a beer... coke for you though" I
clarified with a grin.

     "Yeah sounds awesome!"

     "Good, I'll be right back with your hangers." I said.

     As I made my way into the laundry room I realized his old tattered
clothes were still in the dryer. I took the liberty of putting them in the
trash figuring he would have no need for them anymore. I also walked out
back and flipped on the spa.  102 degree water will feel nice against the
cold air tonight. I made my way back up to my room to see he was already
folding his underwear and putting it in the dresser.

     "Are you going to want to keep your old clothes?" I asked.

     "I guess not." As he answered that question he stopped what he was
doing and walked up to me face to face. He seemed awkward at first, just
standing in front of me as if not sure what to do. After a few moments he
finally gave in and hugged me. I was surprised but it was a good surprise
obviously. "Thank you David really. I know you act like it's not a big deal
but it is." His voice trembled slightly as though he was teary eyed from
gratitude. I wrapped one arm around his neck and pulled him closer against
me.

     "You're welcome... Now come on. Throw your board shorts on and meet me
down stairs. The water will be ready soon." I walked out and left him to
his folding as I made my way to my room to get changed myself. I also
snagged my iPod dock so we could listen to some music while we were in the
water. I started setting up the dock outside when I turned around and saw
Cody standing in the back doorway with his new shorts. They were all white
with thin black stripes running down the sides. I now understood why he
takes no time in selecting clothes. He could make anything look sexy with
his defined hips, flat stomach, and perfectly round nipples.

     "Is it warm yet?" he asked. I stuck my foot in to test the water.

     "Well it burns slightly so I think its fine. It'll get just a bit
hotter though. You want to go inside and get us something to drink? Just
grab me a beer out of the fridge and take whatever you want. There should
be sodas and some juice in the bottom."

     "All right, be right back." He replied. I put the iPod on shuffle and
eased myself into the water while Swimming Pools by Kendrick Lamar started
playing. I liked knowing that our tastes in music, clothes, and movies more
than likely weren't that different. I don't want to say I am still a bit of
a kid because I believe I have proved to myself that I am so much
more. Still, I am definitely a million miles away from being a suit. Cody
returned with my beer and a glass of orange juice in-hand for
himself. Good, I thought. He ventured into my cabinets to find the
glasses. He's getting comfortable.

     "Ahhh" he said as he slowly dipped himself into the hot water. I
grabbed my beer from his hand and laughed to myself as he looked as though
he was in pain dipping himself into the hot water.

     "Just get in you big baby." I teased.

     "God, how hot is the water?" he asked.

     "I set it at 102. It'll fluctuate between 100 to 104 with the heater
kicking on and off." He finally sat down on a shallow step and let me look
at his wonderful slim body. I noticed he not only had a bit of freckles on
his nose and face but also scattered along his shoulder blades and lower
neck. I don't know why but I couldn't help but fall in love with all these
miniscule details. I didn't even know I liked freckles prior to this kid
taking his shirt off. I twisted the top off my beer and took a swig before
I submerged myself to get my hair wet. When I surfaced Cody already had
another question lined up for me.

     "So you don't prefer one over the other? Boys verses girls I mean."

     "Well, when I met Lance I had never really had anything serious with a
guy.  Little flings here and there sure, but nothing that ever lasted. I
had a relationship with a girl for over three years before Lance so back
then I was looking for a guy... Now I don't really have a
preference. Whoever falls into my lap next I guess... What about you? Ever
have a girlfriend? You're definitely not ugly." I joked.

     "Nah no girlfriends." He said while slowly making his way deeper into
the spa.  "How old were you when you got with your first boyfriend? Were
you still in school?"

     "Well not really school but college. I didn't really grow up in a
fantastic area. I already got into enough fights; I didn't need my
sexuality out in the open making me an even bigger target." I confessed.

     "Why did you get into fights?"

     "Well, I was one of 17 white kids in a school of over 500. Sometimes
just the color of my skin was enough to get picked on and even jumped."

     "Sorry." he said sympathetically.

     "Yeah, it was bad... but then the tables turned and after getting
beaten up so many times I made alliances with all the white kids in the
school. 17 people doesn't sound like a lot, but when all of them are
staring you down at once it can be pretty intimidating... After we all got
together, we eventually turned into the bullies. Started beating people up
just because they were black. It only seemed fair after I suffered so much
you know?... In the end, my mom finally got enough money together to get us
the hell out of there. When I look back I'm glad she did. I think if I
would have stayed in that environment for another few years I'd be a
completely different person... I'd be a racist asshole." I took another
drink of my beer. Revisiting and admitting these past memories and actions
wasn't exactly fun. The mood now seemed tense. I thought I'd ask a question
now.

     "So what's in that note you have?"  He sat quiet and pondered for a
moment.

     "I'll trade you." He said.

     "Trade me?" I asked in confusion.

     "Yeah, I'll tell you what's in the note if you tell me why you and
Lance broke up."  My mouth suddenly felt dry from nervousness. I didn't
respond and just looked up at the stars. "Come on please?" he pleaded. I
thought about it for another moment before responding.

     "Fine... who goes first?" I should have known better than to ask that
question.

     "You go." He said the instant I was done asking. I playfully squinted
my eyes at him to show my annoyance.

     "... We broke up because I told him my interests..."

     "Your interests? He asked.

     "Yea... you're the second person I've ever told this to, but I like
younger guys."  He hesitated a moment as he carefully weaved his next
questions.

     "... How young?" he asked with a straight face.

     "I don't know... your age I guess..."

     "Ohh..." is all he said and shifted his eyes from side to side. I
suspected he might have that sort of reaction. He started to get up. I
thought he was going to leave.

     "Cody I swear I'd never hurt you."

     "I know you wouldn't... It's just..."

     "I get it... You're just uncomfortable with it. It's fine... We can
call anybody you want tomorrow and you can go wherever you like." I looked
up at the stars and felt crushed but what can you do? "I didn't just buy
you those things because" I couldn't finish my sentence. I was cut
off... he stood over me, looked into my eyes, and leaned in, lightly
kissing me on the lips.