Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2003 03:18:23 +0000
From: Brad Goodman <bradgoodman30@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Truth About Me - Chapter 15

This story is a work of fiction.  Some parts may be based on real life but
the actual names have been changed to protect the innocent.  This story
involves sex with boys and adult men.  If you are underage or offended by
this type of material or it is illegal where you live stop reading.  Please
think about all the other usual crap that goes here before going on.

	  ******************************************************

I am back to give you more of our story.  It has been a real difficult time
for us over the past 8 months but I will be updating our story regularly.
Your comments and feedback is appreciated.  I had decided to stop writing
about the boys but if there is still interest I will fill you in.  Once you
read this chapter you will understand why it has been so long between
chapters.  Your comments and emails are appreciated and can be sent to
bradgoodman30@hotmail.com



The Truth About Me
                                By: Brad Goodman
Chapter 15


     Over the next few months things became crazier around the house.  Matty
was beginning to act up more and more.  He was stealing from the other boys,
cursing at teachers, refusing to do work and fighting.  Joey was not at all
tolerant and he began to act out more as well.  He was fighting with Matty
and becoming so frustrated with the problems that he was taking it out on
everyone else.  Jake, Nick and Ben were depressed over the situation and our
home life was becoming intolerable.  Matty and Joey were becoming more
detached from the rest of us and the tension was so thick it was choking us
all.  Matty's therapist told me he suffered from reactive-detachment
disorder and that he could not form lasting bonds with others.  Joey was
spending more time at his friends' houses and I began to suspect he was
using drugs.  He was always distant and spaced out.  He seemed detached from
reality.  I was afraid I was losing him and I was right.  By May things were
in total disrepair.  Joey was spending 5 days away from home and I had to
confront him on the issue.  He told me it was either him or Matt.

"I can't make a decision like that."  I told him.

"If he stays I will go and never return.  You said you loved me before he
ever got here.  If you do you will send him away."  Joey replied.

"I can not make that decision.  I do love you but I can not choose between
you two boys.  I hope you can understand that."

Joey gave me a piercing look and did not say another word.  He walked out
that first week in May and I have not seen him since.  My heart as ached
with a pain I never thought possible.  The storm that had become my life
raged on and finally Matt's therapist suggested that Military School worked
well for boys like Matt.  Since I had adopted him the state offered little
in assistance now.  I decided we would have to try it for his good as well
as the rest of us.  If only Joey had stuck around he would have gotten his
wish.

	Matt was very mad at me for making the decision and started making quite
the fuss.  I hated to send him away but he was fighting over every detail of
his life.  If you asked him to pick up his room or put away his dishes or
any other minor task he would go into a fit of rage.  He would scream, curse
and sometimes get violent.  None of us could take it anymore.  When it
finally came for him to ship out for the summer camp he called CPS and
claimed he was being beaten.  They came out and investigated and found it to
be untrue.  However, their search turned up an aunt on his father's side who
wanted to take Matt.  He told me he didn't love me or the boys and wanted to
stay with her.  After several weeks of discussion and fighting with him I
reluctantly agreed.  I call every week but he refuses to talk with me.  His
aunt is now looking to send him to military school now as well.  I was just
getting settled as summer was reaching a mid point and the storm swelled to
epic proportions.  I had always worried Ben's biological father would show
up and amazingly he did.  Ben did not want to leave but the courts saw it
differently and in less than a month they removed him from my custody.  I
was devastated.  I guess the emotional toll on Jake, Nick and myself made
the next to blows even harder.  Big Ryan got a good job in St. Louis and he
and little Ryan moved.  To make things worse my company had to make cut
backs due to the market and I lost my job.  One of my subordinates had
falsified several records and during my turmoil I did not look them over as
well as I should have done.  I went down for his deception.  Luckily, they
just included me in the lay-off instead of firing me like they did to him.
I got 3 months severance but I needed to get a new job soon or we would be
in trouble.

	It took a couple of months but I finally got a job for a government agency.
  Unfortunately, it only pays a fourth of my old salary.  The market is real
tough and now I am strapped.  We have some savings but I had to sell our
house.  Now Jake, Nick and I live in a two bedroom apartment in Sugar Land.
They get to attend the same school but Not with the same amount of money.  I
had to sell my Mustang and now just have my old Explorer.  I am starting to
get back to normalcy and the boys are following suit but it has been tough.
We have grown closer as a result of all the turmoil.  Nick is just as sweet
as ever.  His big pale blue eyes are so sympathetic and endearing that I can
always count on him to make me feel better.  Jake and his beautiful brown
eyes were always there to give me a small smile and a lot of love.  The day
we moved both boys reminded me that they have lived in worse and we sure
have lived in worse.  This apartment was far from the projects we shared
when I was in college.  The apartment was not the 3600 square foot home we
had become accustomed too either.

"It is going to be alright Dad."  Jake assured me.

"Yeah, we will be fine as long as we stay with you."  Nick added.

"I appreciate that boys.  I guess we will get used to this.  I am so happy
that I still have you two with me.  You are the boys I love more than life
itself and I could not survive without you."  I told them.

We all hugged and they both told me that we need to inaugurate our new
apartment.  I was depressed about all that had gone on and they wanted
desperately to cheer me up.  I guess life has a way of making a full circle
and bringing you back to were you began.  I have been dealing with so much
that I have not written in my journal or tried to see the light at the end
of this dark, dark tunnel.  I have committed myself to restoring what we
once had and that was going to begin now.  I just have to remind myself
"That it is better to love and lost, than never to have loved at all."

	On our first night I looked at my boys with new eyes.  I began to notice
that the boys I loved so much had started to become young men that I love
even more.  They were entering high school.  Both are 14 but still look a
little young for their age.  Nick is still very smooth with no hair on his
legs yet, but Jake is turning into quite the young man.  His mixed
Hispanic/White heritage has given him a great tan and his thin legs had
sprouted some dark black hair.  Jake had a bit of armpit hair too.  He was
otherwise quite smooth.  Nick had very little hair trying to grow under his
arms but his very blond locks were hard to see.  That first night I was
finishing getting some things in place and both boys entered the living room
dressed in only boxer shorts.  Their hairless chests teasing my eyes with
gorgeous, smooth flesh.  Nick had developed little pecks but Jake was so
skinny he had no muscle tone what-so-ever.  Both beauties in their own
rights.  They told me to sit in my chair and just watch.  It was going to be
a great first night I though.

To be continued......