Date: Tue, 28 Nov 2006 16:21:19 -0800 (PST)
From: Chris
Subject: I Was Twelve, He was Nineteen, pt 4

All he previous warnings apply....blah..blah...blah

		    I Was Twelve, He Was Ninteen, pt.4
				    By
				   Chris

There were three white butts. One of them was mine. White as sheets,
contrasted with dark brown tan lines. The tan lines stopped at the
beginning of their pubes. And then it began again about mid thigh, this
created by 'cut offs' we wore during the hot summer months. No shirts,
little tight 'cut-offs', and a hot sun, make for a beautiful boy!

'Cut offs' were just old blue jeans cut off somewhere underneath where
your balls began, as high as u wanted them to be.  And they were always
pretty tight back then. This is pre-Michael Jordan. Unfortunately, post-
Michael Jordan guys started looking like they were wearing a parachute.  I
still, to this day think that is so damn ugly. It makes boys look like
Elizebethan urchins with their school uniforms on, that went below the
knee, and then little knobby elf legs coming out the bottoms. And u can't
see anything!  That's the worst part. When I was twelve, the clothes fit
close to the body. So, if a guy was really hung, whether young like me or
old, u knew it.  His package could not be hidden behind Baggy clothes that
are better made for potatoes, than beautiful boys. So there! You boys start
wearing 'cut-offs'.  And then show me how they fit!  Please!

I watched after i had jumped in the water. Time after time as Nathan and
Mark dove down and swam i would see this white butt come to the surface and
and go under again. A perfect crack. I could not stand myself...and i was
only twelve!  I could not lose my hard-on!  I was so embarrassed, but
within minutes, I didn't give a shit.  I was having so much fun. We played
around and splashed.  I don't remember the name of the game, was it King of
The Hill?  One person (usually the little guy) got on the shoulders of
another, and if their were four, you would have a fight to see if u could
pull the other person on top, off. But, of course, there were only us
three. And i was the littlelest one there, so guess who rode the shoulders
of both guys? And we'd just see who could stand the longest, without
falling over into the water. How they took having a boner in the back of
their necks is beyond me. Poor guys.

Probably one of the reasons why this moment in the pond stands out so much
is because I was trully the center of attention. This was the first time I
could ever remember having friends like this and being accepted for who I
was.  So, I guess what i'm saying is that it was hard to wipe the smile off
my face that day. I was so happy!  And I know they must have read my every
thought and knew how I felt.  I wanted so badly to belong and learn. I am
just so thankful that when i was like that then, they were so loving to me,
and didn't take advantage of me (well, i know what your thinking, at least
no more than a healthy gay boy would take advantage..ha. I don't blame them
for that!))

I don't think i was ever fondled so much in my life as during our swim in
the pond. Of course, the water was warm (it was very hot out). We were very
slick, and slippery. They slid all over me, and I slid all over them. Was
it my imagination? Did I feel Mark's cock brush up against my ass when he
hugged me from behind?  And was it hard?  And did Nathan actually stick his
finger up into my a boy pussy and leave it there for a moment? There was
some pressure. I remember these things. And god, i wanted more of that, so
badly. I wanted it to last forever. When they raised my body into the air,
my boner stuck out like a flag!

But all good things end you know. After about an hour, we got tired and
Mark suggested we get out and eat. So we all swam over to the pier, and
pulled ouselves up.  We pulled on our cut-offs and started to get a fire
going. It was getting dark by then.

Soon we had a nice campfire and roasted hot dogs. Mark went to his truck
and pulled out a six-pack of beer. (Budweiser, i remem ber) And tonight i
would have my first beer. My family was very religious and did not drink at
all. Shame on me!

 I also learned how to smoke.  Nathan showed me.  I inhaled and coughed my
lungs up.  I really didn't like it, and never smoked again-truth.  But i
had to try it, cause Nathan did it.

When i get drunk, (and it really, truthfully, is rare) I get very chatty. I
talk a lot, and loosely. I relax. Somewhere about this time, after the last
hot dog, and after the only beer i had, we started talking about sex.  I
started getting this hard-on again. But this time, it was me who unbuttoned
my cut offs, stood up, pulled them down, pulled them off, grabbed my cock
and said, (mocking Mark, the first time we did it together), 'I am so
fucking horny!'  The other guys just stared up at me, looked at each other,
and laughed their asses off.

Mark said, after he caught his breathe, 'Let's hit the sack. Take a piss
and let's get in the tent!.'  I remember pulling my short's back up, still
semi-hard, and going over to the side to piss in the trees with Nathan. He
said to me laughing, 'You are so funny man!'  And I was happy.

'You take the middle Chris!', Mark said, as we went in and put our sleeping
obags together on the big tent floor. 'It's to fucking hot to sleep with
clothes on', as he pulled off his shorts. Nathan did too, and they, along
with me layed down with only a sheet to cover us.  We had just gotten down
when Mark said, 'So you liked what we did the other day, huh?'  And i just
nodded in ascent. I'd already told them around the fire. (Duh) And he said,
'Well, we all did! You want to do it again?'  I beamed and said, 'Sure!'

'Well, we can do that, but we could also learn some new ways to have fun,
if u want? I already talked to Nathan and he thought it would be cool.'
Now you couldn't see real well in there, but the fire we had was still
strong and rather big and it brightened up the tent walls so we could see
fairly well. I looked over at Nathan beside me and he just nodded his head,
like he agreed. 'Ok', I said, 'Like What?'

Well, first, let me show you what nathan and I do sometimes, ok?  I was
totally entranced by now and my boner was harder than ever. i cupped mydick
under the sheet. I watched Nathan get up and move to his brother and kneel
between his brother's legs and lower his head to his brother's cock.He
looked at me then grabbed the shaft and slowly put it in his mouth. I
started to shake, I was so excited and nervous at the same time. This was
all new to me. Sure i saw those pictues in Nathan's room in the Playboy,
and the girls were doing this, but that wasn't real to me. This was the
real thing!

Soon Mark started breathing heavy as Nathan's mouth took more and more of
his brother's cock. I was entranced. 'You see?'  I just stared.  'Now let
Nathan do that to you, and iIll watch. Nathan moved between my legs as i
layd down and spread them like Mark. he lowered himself onto me. 'Oh my
god!'  Was all i could say. I couldn't believe what was happening to me. I
cum in about fifteen seconds. No shit!

I was still pumping when Mark leaned over and started licking my tits with
his tongue. And i found myself not softening at all. He just kept kissing
and licking my skin and moving up and down my belly and back up to my
tits. They were slowly geting hard. I didn't know they would do that,
(except in the ocean, when me and my brother swam in the salt water). But
they were sticking way out and i was thinking, 'I'm gonna cum again!'
Nathan had since just held my cock and kept pulling on it slowly, letting
me recover, but i felt like i never stoped cuming!  And then Mark said,
'Lay down on your belly baby' and i just looked at him and slowly turned
over grabbed m codk, stuffed it under me and alyed flat on the sleeping
bag. My cock resting hard underneath me. I lay in a daze. So happy, so
relaxed, with my friends, with Nathan, who I loved. 'Spread your legs baby'
as he pulled them apart!. Now i lay with Nathan to my side, his head even
with mine. Both of us looking at each other in the eyes. And his hand was
resting on my back and he was scratching my back just with the tips of his
fingernails. It felt so good. Soon i felt a new sensation.

Mark was kissing my ass. My Mom always said it was hard to buy me clothes
cause i had a more round butt than most boys.  Mark pulled my cheeks apart,
then let them go, then pulled them apart again.  I never said a word. Soon
i felt his hot breath on my ass, and all kinds of kisses. Again, he pulled
my ass cheeks apart and i felt a finger go up and down my crack and then
hesitate at my hole.  It started going in, just a little, then out...then
in, then out, then in......deeper.  Soon, i heard the pop of a cap.. He had
opened a tube of something. I felt a finger again at my hole and he put the
oil in me and pushed.

All of a sudden, I felt very afraid. I was already emotional, and a little
tired probably. I was twelve, we had been swimming, and I drank a beer, I
had been sucked and cum once, and now this, and it was dark. I lifted my
head, raised up on my shoulders, looked back at Mark who was still kissing
me, looked at Nathan, who was still beside me, and said, almost in a
whisper, 'Will it hurt?'

How did i know that was what Mark was going to do? I knew almost nothing.
Even though i had just seen a 'blow job'. I didn't know that's what you
called it. But i did know he was going to fuck me.  It was like it was
supposed to be, and I had been unconsciously praying for this moment for so
long, and now that it was time to get my answer, I hesitated. Not sure.
Araid. Nathan looked at me in my eyes, took my face in his hand, and then
kissed me, and said, 'It's ok'.  I looked at him again, layed my head back
down on my sleeping bag, closed my eyes, and gave him my life.

I fell fucking asleep!  Can you believe that?  I must have been so
exhausted. But when i think back now, I can fully understand why. You know
all i had been through that day. And I was twelve. I was just exhausted.
And under their spell...... When I woke up, i woke to a whole new
sensation.  Mark had pulled me up onto my knees with my face still down in
the sleeping bag and I felt a terrible pressure at my ass hole!  Nathan
told me later Mark and him had had fun oiling me up real good and he said
he had stuck his fingers down my hole, had got three down 'and all you did
was moan a little, and never woke up!'  They were laughing and playing with
my butt and just having a great 'ole time, i guess.  He said they did that
for a long time. Then Mark said, 'Well, you think he's ready?'

But then as Mark pulled me up I woke up as soon as he put his dick to my
hole. It hurt so bad. I mean, I thought i would die, and asked him to
stop. I didn't ask him to pull out, just stop, and he did. And i remem ber
reaching back and pushing his leg to stop and we just waited, as i breathed
hard into the sleeping bag. Soon, I heard Mark tell Nathan to get up in
front of me and set down. Nathan sat down facing me and spread his legs to
either side of me and began to pull on his cock.  'Now Chris, just suck on
it like a Lolly Pop!'

To be honest, I was rotten at it that first ime. I was so consumned with
the football now in my ass I almost couldn't think about sucking off my
boyfriend Nathan. But i did. I pushed myself up to my elbows.  As Nathan
scooted down, I got up on my hands. I was now on my hands and and knees and
lowered my head to his cock which he was holding up for me. (That remains
my favorite osition t his day) It was a full eight inches. I know cause we
measured it later, and it was thick. I would come to love that cock well.
It was harder than a rock. I did manage to take the top in my mouth and
suck a little, but i just couldn't do much. By now Mark was pushing more
into me and i began to breathe real short breathes and say 'Ah, oh, ah', as
he pushed further and further. then, overcome, I just layed my head down in
Nathan's lap and I began to cry. 'Big crocodile tears', Nathan said. I
moaned and felt full.

It is like a savage dream to me now, with a sureal beauty about it. Both
wonderful and awful. It's mystical, spiritual, yet wholely physical. I
can't speak for anyone else, just me. But to this day, it remains the most
'real' experience I have ever had in my life. Kind of like 'a knowing'.
Once I didn't, now I do.  I had eaten from the tree of knowledge, and felt
it's life seep into me.

He cum in me. In three heavy blast. I felt each one pour into me. This,
after he had a firm hold on my little boy hips, and he thrust his cock deep
into me, slapping my butt with his legs.  I felt its warm flush. I felt his
life. I knew a oneness.' Never have I felt this way before', I thought.
There was a fullness, a complete acceptance. I had given my most precious
gift to this man. I would never be able to give it again. My virginity was
gone.


			       A Postscript

       Nathan and I became secret lovers. I, thirteen by then, he
fifteen. One year later my Father was transfered to Illinois. We were
devastated. I was so depressed. I left thinking it would still never end,
but it did. It was not as easy back then to keep in touch. There was no
'net', no cell phones, we barely had a black and white T.V.!  I never saw
him again. I sent him a card once, but I never got a reply. I went on and
tried to do what everyone said was the right thing to do. I met a girl, we
became friends, got married, had children, got divorced. I got married
again. Got divorced. (I'll never do that again) That's not me. For the
first time I can say out loud, (even though pensively, and cautiously) 'I'm
gay!'  It's taken a life time to allow myself to love again, and be my own
best friend. I got lost after Nathan. I have never fallen in love again
like I did that time.
        In 2002 I met someone from that town. It's the first time I had
seen anyone since I left in 1970.  After a moment, I realized who she
was. It was my sister's best friend then. After introductions, I had to ask
about Nathan and his brother. She told me Nathan had had a very rough life.
He got married early, divorced, married again, divorced again.  He had
several children. (Always the stud)
        She told me he was well known for his drinking and hard living. He
had a lot of problems. Then she said, as she looked at me, 'He died in 2000
Chris, I think it was from a heart attack.'
        I tried to cover, but i couldn't mask the shock. I never got to ask
about his brother, I just started crying, and walked away.  I mumbled
something like 'Thanks!'  and left. Last month prior to writng this story,
I went back and visited my boyfriend Nathan.  The whole way, all I could
think of was the day I ran down those steps and saw the most beautiful long
haired blond boy, and he looked up at me and said, 'Hi, i'm Nathan!'

		    'I'll never stop loving you Nathan'