Date: Wed, 7 Jan 2009 08:03:19 -0500
From: Jonathan Matthews <jonafunu@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Untellable Truth about Jake (Chapters 13-16)
*********
So it's been awhile since I updated, and for that I apologize. The holidays
got the best of me and Chapter Thirteen was actually rewritten twice (for a
total of three versions.) Thanks to the generous contributions of a
faithful fan, and her unparalleled taste, I decided the first version was
an inappropriate direction for the story and chose to go this route
instead. I hope sincerely that everyone enjoys it and PLEASE send your
comments ASAP! Jonafunu@hotmail.com
In addition if illegal where you are, don't read it. This story be `bout
Man / Boy love! Nuff said... PEACE!
**********
Chapter Thirteen
Throughout history, there have been a plethora of notable
missed opportunities. While they range from the obliteration of enemy
nations to the preservation of national monuments, all of which are
important historically, this one brief moment in my life suddenly felt the
most poignant to me. There is no man that can describe what it's like to
refuse everything he desires for the preservation of what he loves. This,
and I say this with nothing but the utmost conviction, was that moment for
me. I am definitely unable to describe how it feels and if I had the
ability to let you feel even a portion of what I felt, then I wouldn't be
surprised if you exploded.
All of that said every ounce of confidence and devotion
that I drew on to guide my lips to his cheek instead of his lips had left
me. The remnants of that confidence seemed to evaporate in the seemingly
widening expanse between Colby and me. I watched with nothing but remorse,
and a bit of personal satisfaction, as Colby's eyes opened, examining me
with what appeared to be mingled emotions of frustration and
disappointment.
As I began to open my lips, Colby beat me to the punch.
"I don't understand." He spoke with complete clarity, not a
note of emotion found in his voice. I knew I wouldn't be as lucky.
"I know you don't..." My words trailed off, trying to find
some basis to explain my decision without corrupting him. I wanted so badly
to tell him that I wanted to kiss him that I wanted to hold him that I
wanted to inhale his sweet smell and caress every inch of his young
body. How could I? Why didn't I do it exactly? Certainly I was scared of
going to jail or ruining my friendship with Stephanie, but a much deeper
part of me did not want to see his innocence corrupted. This child knew
nothing of sex or the trials and tribulations that it brought to the
world. This child whose eyes watched me with such intensity had no idea the
pain that he would feel in only a few short years, when his first love
rejected him or made him feel foolish.
How could he? He was nine, and I was twenty two. I had no
right desiring him; I had no right wanting to touch him in that way. What
the fuck was wrong with me? Colby rose from his seat and neared me, his
eyes never once tearing away as he planted his lips on mine. I closed my
eyes tightly, my arms going limp, as I allowed my lips to remain. The
moments ticked by as though it were an eternity before I backed away, my
eyes blinking to adjust to the approaching evening hour.
"Colby..." I whispered, unable to say anything but his
name.
"What's wrong with a kiss?" He asked, those same eyes
staring deep into me, searching for some rhyme or reason as to why I
reacted this way.
"It's something you can't possibly understand..." I
whispered again, any ability to speak my mind seemed impossible to find.
"I know I'm young, but I know I like you a lot. You've
always been really nice to me and I like spending time with you. If that
makes me gay, then I'll kiss you, unless you don't want to kiss me."
I felt myself melting inside; his words were as pure and
innocent as he was. I was fighting more intensely now for words. I couldn't
even begin to think of what I wanted to say. His face became more
distressed as my mind ran a thousand miles a second, I felt him begin to
doubt how much I cared. I reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it
close to my heart. My eyes hit the floor as I found it impossible to look
at him any more.
"I'm glad you kissed me... It's just not what people think
is okay. I mean, it's not okay for an adult to kiss a kid."
Colby giggled a little, "You aren't an adult."
I looked up into his eyes again; glad to finally see some
manner of cheer return to his face. I smiled, despite myself, and genuinely
felt comforted even if it was just for a moment. I was honored to not be
relegated to that most despicable of classifications, an adult.
"I could go to jail for kissing you." I said, some manner
of confidence finally returning in the wake of the lightening mood.
"My Mom kisses me."
"Not like that..." My voice dropped a little, but my
confidence remained. I had to assert myself and let him know exactly how
things were.
"I don't know why not, I liked it. I thought cops just
stopped people from hurting others?"
I nodded, patting his hand as it still lay against my
heart. "Not everything is that simple unfortunately."
He sighed and shrugged a little, his free hand pushing the
messy black hair on his head behind him, "It's just a bunch of stupid rules
anyway."
I smiled even more deeply than I had the entire day. He was
more adorable than I could have ever imagined. I released his hand and
embraced him closely, my nose smelling his messy locks. "I love you Colby."
I heard him murmur from the confines of my shirt, "I love
you too! Let me go I can't breathe!"
I laughed, releasing him, as he laughed in return. The
moment had finally passed and I felt as though a general understanding had
been reached. I could finally kiss Colby, and that was enough. He now knew
why I was apprehensive and he seemed to have reasoned out the situation for
himself.
"Please don't tell Stephanie about the kiss."
Colby nodded, "I won't."
I patted his head gently, looking outside at the
increasingly darkening sky, "Guess this means you're really my boyfriend
huh?" I mused.
"Yep!" Colby replied in a boyishly high pitched manner,
only causing me to laugh again.
"Well what about that letter to Santa?"
"Oh yeah!"
Colby scrambled to retrieve his messenger bag and finish
the task he had left from the day before. I smiled and watched him trying
to think of the words needed to convince Santa he was worthy. The concept
of coffee sounded appealing as a million future opportunities finally
floated into my mind. The moment of stress had passed, and I had finally
achieved a new level in a relationship I thought could never happen.
Chapter Fourteen
I felt alone, and incredibly foolish after he left. It
would be an understatement to say that I felt a little nervous when
Stephanie arrived. It felt as though she knew, as though some hidden
operative from the CIA had delivered the message of our kiss personally and
cops would drop from the ceiling shortly. I felt guilt for achieving
something I wanted to do for so long, but Colby had taken it for exactly
what it was, a kiss. It was nothing more and it was certainly nothing less.
It amazed me how much of an adult I actually was, even if
Colby proclaimed me not to be one. Whenever adults think of kisses they
think of sex. It seemed a natural transition in my mind. In Colby's mind
however he could still differentiate between the two, he knew very well
that you were supposed to kiss the one you loved, but the concept of sex
still eluded him. I wasn't entirely sure if Colby knew what love was, or if
the love he felt for me was the same I felt for him, but he appreciated
what a special kiss meant between us and truly enjoyed it.
I hoped, as I sat there in extreme silence, that it would
be an act he cared to repeat in the future. There was little more in the
world that could make me happier than his lips against mine. Even if I
never touched Colby in another way, a simple kiss from him would be enough
for me to breath. I sighed deeply, delighted in the fact that my reality
and perception of our relationship had been permanently altered. I was
foolish to spend so much time worrying about what a simple touch or tickle
meant in the whole scheme of things.
I jumped a little as the silence was interrupted, my laptop
made a familiar noise. It was an instant message, but from whom? As I slid
over to apprehend it the answer would quickly find me.
"SUSAN!" I typed, extremely glad to have an interruption
from my thoughts. I really did think about things too much, if that makes
any sense to you.
SUSAN1974: Wow it's been awhile, what's happening?
COFFEEQUEEN86: Not a whole lot, Colby just left for the
night.
SUSAN1974: Colby huh? Why was he over there?
COFFEEQUEEN86: I've been watching him for Steph, didn't I
tell you?
SUSAN1974: Can't say as you have lol. Imagine that, a kid
taking care of a kid.
COFFEEQUEEN86: LOL I guess...
SUSAN1974: Nothing's happened has it?
I blinked a little, I immediately thought about a million
things that could be meant from that message, the first being about my
kissing Colby although I lent that to remnants of my paranoia.
COFFEEQUEEN86: Well something kinda weird happened at work.
SUSAN1974: Pray tell!
COFFEEQUEEN86: Well Rob got fired the other day.
SUSAN1974: It's about DAMN time! LOL Wish I could have seen
that!
COFFEEQUEEN86: Yeah it's kinda cool lol. I feel sorry for
the guy though, I had this meeting with the owner this morning.
SUSAN1974: Wow did he call everyone in?
COFFEEQUEEN86: Nah he actually found out I was working and
came just to see me.
SUSAN1974: Whoa dude, are you still employed?
COFFEEQUEEN86: Oh yeah, he actually wanted me to take Rob's
place. Well, the place Rob was supposed to have. Apparently he told Rob to
turn the whole place around and he could be manager then. Since he didn't
do it, he got the axe.
SUSAN1974: ROTFLOL You as a manager? Did you take it?
COFFEEQUEEN86: Um no LOL. You know me, no
responsibilities. I told him no but he wants me to pick who he gives it to.
SUSAN1974: Hmm...
SUSAN1974: Any ideas yet?
COFFEEQUEEN86: Sure as hell won't be Benjamin.
SUSAN1974: ROFL Yeah I figured as much, what about Steph?
COFFEEQUEEN86: Didn't really thing about it, wouldn't that
be showing favoritism or something?
SUSAN1974: Well I mean next to you she has the second
highest seniority and she works hard. I don't think so.
COFFEEQUEEN86: That's true, guess I'll think about it. I
was thinking about asking Marco but he is thinking about going to Brown.
SUSAN1974: Yeah he called and told me that. He said you got
really pissed, you over it yet?
COFFEEQUEEN86: I WASN'T PISSED! >=(
SUSAN1974: Yeah suuuureeeee... LOL
COFFEEQUEEN86: I'm coming to terms with the fact I need to
grow up.
SUSAN1974: I hope so for your sake, you're way too smart to
rot in that place forever you know?
COFFEEQUEEN86: Yeah I know...
SUSAN1974: So listen, My Mom and Dad are going to the
Bahamas for Christmas so I was wondering if there was room for me at the
inn? LOL
COFFEEQUEEN86: Of course honey! You know you don't have to
ask that! 8-P
SUSAN1974: LOL just making sure. Well I'll be flying in
like next Wednesday then, keep an eye out for me k?
COFFEEQUEEN86: K girlie. I need to get to bed it's been a
long ass day.
SUSAN1974: Okies, talk to ya later!
COFFEEQUEEN86: BFN!
SUSAN1974: BYE!
I closed my laptop, smiling to myself a little. It hadn't
really been all that long since she left for college but I had missed my
best friend terribly. The only reason she left so early was so she could
find a part time job and be close to her parents for the holidays. Was she
worried about me? I began to seriously doubt that she would miss an
opportunity to see her parents for my sake and resigned myself to the fact
that although I was her second holiday choice, it would be a grand holiday
just the same.
I sat the laptop on the side table and climbed the stairs
to my bedroom, pushing the door open and eyeing my seriously neglected bed.
"I haven't slept on you since she left have I?"
I laughed a little, slipping into my pajamas and beneath
the sheets of my old friend. The heavy promise of sleep overtook me as I
fell into a world of dreams about airplanes and kisses.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The remainder of the week passed with little incident as
the memories of my first kiss with Colby seemed to become a part of my
reality. It was nothing for Colby to walk in, wrap his arms tightly around
me and press his lips against mine for minutes at a time. He knew not the
details of a French kiss and little did I want him to, I felt that the
innocence of these moments was enough for the both of us. I felt nothing
but a renewed sense of purpose and adoration for him personally each time
they occurred.
By the time Saturday dawned and the thoughts of packing
began to haunt my mind, I knew that I would be faced with what occurred
next.
"BEEP! BEEP! BEEP!"
Alarm clocks are evil creatures, especially on days where
one isn't supposed to work. It was seven, and Stephanie was a creature of
punctuality. I couldn't say anything against it, I was as well, but why
punctuality had to take place at eight on a Saturday morning seemed to
elude me entirely. I rose from my bed, following my usual routine of
massive coffee consumption and reawakening my lungs to the glorious
properties of nicotine, when the sight of Sam caught my eye.
He looked across at me, waving with a friendly manner that
reminded me very much of some sort of deceitful creature that didn't
immediately come to mind. I waved back half heartedly, purposely turning to
block him from my thoughts entirely.
"What did Susan ever see in him!?" I mused for the second
time in my life.
My phone rang tried and true and I reached out to retrieve
it from the kitchen cabinet, placing the receiver to my ear, "Well good
morning Hun!"
"Greetings to you as well old friend!" The voice of
Benjamin caused my stomach to churn a little.
"Why the hell are you calling me at 7:30?" I asked trying
to be as abrasive as was humanly possible.
"There seems to be little interest in responding to your
task at hand. I have received a negative response in query to the interest
of our young Marco. I suppose that gives me a tremendous advantage?"
I hit myself in the forehead, nearly extinguishing my
cigarette into it.
"You know there's one other employee."
"You are incorrect my good Sir! Stephanie and Myranda
remain as my rivals!"
I blinked a little, "Myranda still works there?"
Myranda was a rather stout black lady whom I had presumed
to have quit about a year ago. She got a second job with the state and cut
back her hours severely. I hadn't actually seen her in some time so it
seemed impossible to me that she would still be there.
"Precisely my thoughts exactly, a mere five hours per week
show little commitment to the store."
"Well she has a better chance of getting it than you if you
EVER call me at this hour again." My voice rose and fell with intense
annoyance.
"I apologize profusely! I shall end this conversation with
haste!" He replaced with received with a force that was usually reserved
for Rob. I laughed a little, pleased to have gotten rid of him so easily.
"Maybe I should string this shit out and keep him at my
beck and call?"
"RING!"
The phone sounded again, at least this time I was certain
of who would be on the other end.
"Hey chick."
"Wow you're up huh? I'm impressed!"
I laughed a little, extinguishing the butt of my cigarette
into the ashtray.
"Yeah sure enough, miracles do happen. Are you guys on your
way?"
"Yeah well Colby isn't exactly in the mood to wake up so we
may be a little late. I assume you have boxes?"
I looked behind me at the five boxes I managed to apprehend
from the coffee shop over the last week.
"Oh yeah, more than you can shake a stick at."
"Good, good. We'll be there as soon as possible."
"Alright, bye then."
I hung up the phone and leaned against the counter, rolling
my eyes a little.
"She better be glad she has Colby or I'd be annoyed she
made me wake up so early."
I'm sure you're wondering why I lied about the boxes,
although using an idiom can hardly be considered a lie, I at least implied
I had more boxes than I did. Surely I needed more but the idea of packing
on this most glorious Saturday of all Saturdays seemed beyond me. If I
could do anything to discourage Stephanie from the idea then I was happy to
do it.
The sound of someone tapping on my window broke me from my
moment of personal satisfaction as I nearly flew out of my pants (gotta
love idioms) and dropped the cat coffee cup onto the floor below me. I
turned quickly to see Sam who waved, half laughing half mouthing an
apology, when I began to feel my blood boil deep within me. We met at the
side door as I swung it open.
"Can I help you?" I spoke without any desire to hide my
annoyance.
"Whoa sorry dude, you got coffee all over you huh?"
"No small thanks to you..." I murmured darkly, he
apparently thought it a joke as he continued to stand there.
"You don't have any sugar do you? Wife's making pancakes
for the whole family this morning and we're fresh out."
I stomped over to the counter next to the fridge, quickly
removing the lid from the canister that typically held it. I saw the
familiar white powder inside and set about finding a suitable container
that I didn't care about being destroyed by a two year old. I grabbed a
marinara stained Tupperware container and deposited enough sugar inside to
fill it to the rim, quickly returning to the door and shoving it into his
hand.
"Hope this helps!" I said with extreme sarcasm.
He smiled and winked, "Thanks dude."
I watched in disbelief as he sped across the lawn. He was
either the most oblivious man in the world or didn't care.
"What did Susan ever see in him!?"
I quickly threw away the pieces of my destroyed coffee cup
and wiped up the coffee with a wet paper towel. I ascended the stairs at
sight of the time and changed into a ragged pair of jeans and a white
t-shirt. This wasn't exactly an occasion for designer duds, not that I
owned any or anything. The sound of the doorbell reached my ears as soon as
I managed to make sense of my hair and I flew down the stairs to meet my
extended family.
"Honeys you came!" I said with arms extended, the sight of
Stephanie and Colby smiling at me made me completely forget about my rude
neighbor.
"Good Morning Jake." Stephanie smiled with a look of rest
on her face. Oh how I envied her being a morning person.
"Morning boyfriend!" Colby giggled, throwing his arms
around my waist and hugging me tightly.
"Well I couldn't ask for better company in the morning,
care for some coffee?"
Stephanie shrugged, "Where are all the boxes?"
"Oh don't worry your pretty little head about it." I patted
Colby's head as he released me and led them into the kitchen, replacing the
now destroyed cat cup with my Mother's and grabbing an orange cup for
Stephanie. Stephanie's eyes predictably met the slim selection in the
corner.
"This is the huge selection huh?" She commented with a look
of mock disappointment sketched across her face.
"You don't think this is enough? I could always invent a
shrink gun you know." I winked teasingly, pouring both cups full and
handing the orange one to the annoyed Mother figure.
"Well you aren't getting out of it; we'll go to every
grocery store in Portland if we have to."
I groaned a little into my cup, taking a sip of the black
liquid inside.
"I think this will be enough for his video games Mom."
Colby giggled a little, taking a seat at a second hand dining room table
across the way that seemed to belong in the seventies.
"Not even sure this will be enough for that." Stephanie
snorted a little, managing to avert her gaze from my own.
"A road trip for boxes it is. Any special requests while
I'm at it?"
"Breakfast!" Colby chirped in.
"Now you said you weren't hungry!" Stephanie snapped in
reply, her typical Motherly voice returning in record time.
"Oh you know he'd rather have some processed fast food
bacon than your cooking any old time!" I laughed, quickly turning red as
Stephanie's face turned into one much resembling an interrogating FBI
agent.
"I love your cooking Mom; I just like it when we go out!"
Colby commented, completely oblivious I had just insulted his Mother.
"Very well, I'll pay then." Stephanie sighed, conceding the
point.
"Oh I don't think so; it's the least I can do for you
waking me up at this ungodly hour." I winked at Colby who simple smiled
back, as brightly as he had all morning thus far.
We each finished out cups of coffee, grabbing our coats and
heading out onto the deserted morning streets. Saturdays mornings were
really the only time I didn't find myself fighting a parade of cars, none
of which had any desire to go the actual speed limit.
Chapter Sixteen
A breakfast of pork fat and an SUV full of boxes later, we
found ourselves back at my soon to be ex-home as Colby set forth opening
the trunk and dragging as many as he could to the front porch. I couldn't
help but admire his spirit; he truly couldn't wait to have me living with
him full time. Stephanie grabbed a couple as she laughed.
"He really is excited you know?"
I nodded, grabbing a couple and joining the two on the
porch to unlock the door and allow the steady flow of packing materials
inside. Colby made quick work of emptying the SUV, although the precarious
pile of boxes directly in front of the door made things a little difficult.
"It's like a mountain..." I observed, looking at Colby who
looked thoroughly satisfied with himself for carrying in more boxes than we
had combined.
"Colby can you stack those in the kitchen with the others?"
Stephanie asked, she walked past the modern art masterpiece and carried her
last two acquisitions ahead of him.
He nodded and began dragging them inside. I shook my head,
half tempted to watch his youthful perseverance when I felt a pang of
remorse from not being more involved in my own move. I grabbed a couple and
joined the procession, making a neat pile in the corner per Stephanie's
instructions.
By the time everything was stacked, Stephanie was washing a
few forgotten dishes in the sink and shaking her head, "You really should
do your dishes more often."
I groaned, it had been quite some time since I had heard
someone scolding me for my dish washing habits. Susan was about as
disorganized as I was. What can I say? I'm not your stereotypical queen.
"So what do I pack first?" Colby asked, looked around the
place with greedy anticipation.
"Just hold on I have to get a plan in order." Stephanie
replied, drying the cups and few plates, placing them on the counter to be
packed at some point.
"Well first and foremost we really need to clean. You do
want your deposit back don't you?"
I blinked; I couldn't exactly remember a time where I was
required to pay a deposit. Susan and I had gotten the house together but
that part of my life seemed like a blur.
"Not sure if I ever paid one... I'll have to ask Susan
about that."
Stephanie laughed, "Didn't expect you'd remember you never
were good with money. At any rate it needs to be clean it's common
courtesy!"
I cringed a little; my Mom had used that same line several
times before. "Yes Mother." I giggled to myself.
"And don't you forget it!" She said, wiping her hands off
on a hand towel.
I smirked a little, watching Colby out of the corner of my
eye as he counted the boxes.
After an intense session of sweeping, wiping, toilet bowl
cleaning and vacuuming, I had barely a moment to breathe before Stephanie
stuffed a Marlboro in my mouth and lit the end.
"Wow it looks great; I may not move after all this!"
Stephanie shot me a threatening look, to which I quickly
conceded.
"Well that was the easy part, now since you don't cook I
guess we can go ahead and pack up everything in the kitchen."
"Well leave me a pot, a bowl, a cup and a fork. I have to
have my coffee and ramen you know."
Stephanie laughed, "You got it."
Colby came into the room, nearly collapsing on the floor
from over dramatized exhaustion.
"Wow! I thought my room was dirty!"
"Oh did you!?" I quickly took the opportunity to tickle
him, causing him to convulse wildly within my arms. Ever since our first
kiss his maturity level seemed to rise a little, and he hadn't really done
anything to prompt such an act of retribution. I knew I had to take
advantage while I still could.
"Oh come on you two." Stephanie sighed, half serious half
joking as I stood, taking another drag from my cigarette and smiling at my
little imp as he lay on the ground contorted in some inhuman shape that
only a nine year old could achieve.
"Aw Mom you always ruin the fun!" Colby giggled, squirming
a little but making no real effort to stand.
Stephanie shook her head as I nudged her in the side only
causing her to openly laugh.
"Fine, fine. I'm a big meanie."
I watched the two with great admiration. I had quickly lost
my nervous mood around her by that past Thursday, although the idea of her
knowing about Colby's and mines kiss hadn't escaped me entirely. I silently
wondered what she'd think about it, if anything at all. I began to feel a
little guilty but decided to push it from my mind. This was hardly a day to
feel such a way.
"Feel like some hot cocoa?"
Stephanie and Colby nodded in unison, Stephanie may have
been a hard core organized person, but she was never against a good cup of
hot cocoa. I almost felt partially guilty dirtying a pot to mix the milk,
chocolate and sugar in, but I supposed we deserved it at this point. By the
time everyone had sat at the table and marshmallows were distributed, the
clock struck three and it was beyond me to explain where all the time had
gone.
"It takes this long to clean?"
"Only if you never clean!" Stephanie and Colby spoke
together, to which I blushed a little.
---
By the time the kitchen was packed and things were
distributed into the necessary "Must haves" and "Donations" categories,
Colby had fallen asleep on the couch and I was prodding at a plate full of
Luke warm Chinese food.
"Thanks a lot for everything you've done I really
appreciate it." I smiled at Stephanie who returned it, her typical look of
exhaustion having returned.
"Oh it's not a problem. You know I'm just grateful you
decided to move in. I don't know what I'd do if you didn't."
I nodded, my eyes trying their best to remain open.
"You should really spend the night; I know if I'm this
tired you have to be whooped."
Stephanie shrugged, "I'm used to it, and this is pretty
light compared to what I usually do. Being a Mother is tougher than you'd
think."
I laughed a little, "Yeah I guess I never really gave my
Mom the credit she deserved."
"Oh I bet you were a little demon huh?"
I smirked, thinking fondly to the few delightful moments in
my childhood. I felt a little pang as I observed the lavender cup sitting
on my now empty counter.
"You know being a Mother makes you think about all sorts of
crazy things, like what's best for your son even if you don't understand
it."
I nodded, completely lost in thought and regret over the
ways I spent the final parts of my Mother's life. I despised her for
showing more attention to the man of the week than me most times, but she
worked very hard to see me have a roof over my head and food in my
stomach. Was a Mother really required to give anything more?
"I know about you and Colby."
My thoughts quickly found their way back to the kitchen as
I gently placed the fork down, allowing my eyes to fall to the center of
the table.
"Oh um, whatever do you mean?" I asked, with as much
nervousness in my voice as there ever had been.
"The kiss Jake. I think it's really sweet."
I looked up at her, a look of utter disbelief difficult to
hide.
"I know you probably think I should be mad, and maybe I was
for a few minutes but I'm over it. I know that you love Colby and wouldn't
hurt him. He truly loves you as well."
I slid my plate over so I could place my elbows on the
table top, trying to support my head which became increasingly heavier with
thoughts I couldn't completely process.
"I don't get it..." I murmured.
"I know you feel that way about him, or at least I've
expected it awhile. I always thought you were too sweet to ever do anything
about it so it never bothered me. Then when I found out something happened
I felt betrayed, I felt angry, and I felt like I'd failed as a Mother..."
Her voice trailed off a little.
I began to feel tears well up in my eyes as I reached
across the table to grab her hands, staring directly into her eyes as they
stared into her own lap.
"I'm so sorry!"
She laughed a little, wiping a single tear from her eyes as
she finally allowed her hands to encircle mine.
"There are a lot of bad people in this world Jake, but you
are far from being one of them. I realize that he is the one that kissed
you, even if you egged it on."
I felt that last part a little inaccurate but I was
definitely not going to correct her.
"Its fine, it's perfectly fine. Whatever he does with you
is fine as long as you don't hurt him. If you ever hurt him, then it ends.
I nodded, swallowing deeply and staring into her eyes as
they finally met mine.
"I'd never hurt him, I hope you know that."
She nodded and sighed a little, "I know. If you wanted to
you've had plenty of opportunities by now."
I smiled and stood, walking over to her side of the table
and bending down a little so that we were face to face.
"Thanks Mom."
She laughed a little and hugged me as I returned her
embrace. I felt as though this incredible burden had been lifted from my
shoulders and I was completely happy about it. There really was no solution
to my problem greater than this, and it was a solution I couldn't have even
dreamed about.
"Tired yet?"
Stephanie snorted a little, "Yeah that's about enough for
me."
Stephanie made her way to Susan's former bedroom as I went
to the sofa where my sleeping angel lay silently, curled up against the
chill of the living room. I reached into the chest and pulled a blanket
out, tucking him in and silently kissing his forehead.
"Goodnight my love." I whispered into his ear.
As I climbed the stairs and finally slid into my bed, I
could finally do so with a deep abiding peace that I hadn't felt since
before I met Colby. It was the greatest night of sleep I could ever
remember.