Date: Thu, 17 Jan 2008 17:58:26 +0000
From: pinkpanther2@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: 'A Warm April Saturday' chapter 19
All the usual disclaimers apply. If for some reason, you shouldn't be
reading this, then don't, okay? If you do, neither I nor Nifty will be
responsible if the bogey men catch up with you!
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always reply to it. So if you have not written before, or if you've not
written for a while, please send your comments to
pinkpanther2@hotmail.co.uk and I'll reply as soon as I can.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
Lying in bed, thoughts whizzing round my head, like they have been
most of the night; I don't know how much sleep I've had, but it's not
much. I feel worn out. I flick on the bedside light; it's ten to six.
I'll have to get up for school in just over an hour. I'm not looking
forward to it, but I'll have to go. The same question keeps gnawing
away at me. Why? Why did he go? I don't understand it. Was it
something I did? How can it have been? I'd have done anything for
him.
I guess mum asking him to sell his apartment so that they could buy a
house together was a big part of it, but, like she wasn't supposed to
do that? That's exactly what I wanted to happen so we'd have had him
with us all the time. Well, he wasn't going to do it so he left. But
d'you know what really hurts? He lied to me; he let me think
everything was going to be okay when he knew it wasn't. He knew if he
told me he was going to split up with mum I'd have been upset; tried
to persuade him to stay. He didn't want to face that so he lied; he
betrayed me. I thought he was the most wonderful person in the whole
world; I gave him everything I could and he betrayed me.
I guess it shouldn't be that much of a surprise. He's been lying to
mum all the way along, hasn't he, making her think that he loved her
when all he really wanted was to fuck my arse. And I helped him do
it; I was so crazy about him I just didn't see it. He moved on from
Harry to me; now he's moved on to some other kid. I feel hurt,
betrayed, angry, and there's no-one I can talk to about it, not
really. There's only a few people know about me and James, and they
all live miles away, except Brad, of course, but I hardly know the
kid. Somehow I'm going to have to get through this, and I'm going to
have to do it pretty much on my own. People won't understand why I'm
so upset; as far as they know James was just my mum's boyfriend. And
I can't tell them; it'd get back to mum. Then she'd know what a
deceitful little shit I've been.
0 o 0 o 0 o 0
"You okay?" Michael asks as we make our usual walk to school.
"Mum and James have split up," I tell him.
"Shit! That bad man! I thought they were going to get married or
something!"
"Yeah; that's what we both thought."
That's another lie I've just told; I knew that was never going to
happen.
"I bet your mum's upset; things a bit rough at home, then?"
"Yeah, a bit." I tell him.
"Sorry, man," he says, shaking his head sadly.
We complete our walk in silence.
0 o 0 o 0 o 0
Tutor group and our first two classes go past in a blur. I'm trying,
but my concentration's all over the place. Fuck knows what Tom must
be thinking. We head out to morning break. Tom needs to go to the
boys' room. I don't go with him; it gives me an excuse to wander off
on my own. I just need a few minutes to try to straighten my head
out. As make my way outside to get some fresh air, Brad comes across
to me.
"You okay, man?" he asks, looking concerned.
Shit! Is it that obvious? I was wondering whether I should say
anything to Brad. I guess I might as well; I'll burst if I don't talk
to someone. We wander round the side of the technology block where
nobody can hear us.
"Mum and James have split up," I say quietly.
"Oh, it looked like someone might have been giving you a hard time.
James, that your mum's boyfriend, yeah?"
"Yeah."
"So he's found himself another kid to fuck." he says, more a
statement than a question.
"Yeah, that's what it seems like."
"So how long were you together?"
"Since last Easter."
"Oh, you had a decent innings then," he says grinning.
What the fuck? I can't believe he just said that! Maybe talking to
him wasn't such a good idea after all.
"That's the way it is with guys like him," he says casually, "most of
them anyway. They get bored. Sounds like you liked him a lot."
"Yeah, it wasn't just the sex; he helped me with all sorts of stuff,
school work, everything."
"So was that how it started, you know, before he started doing the
other stuff?"
"Yeah."
"And I guess you really liked that, yeah?"
"Oh yeah! I never knew my dad, and mum's always had to work. Nobody's
ever spent time with me the way he did. He was great fun to be with
too."
"So when he wanted to get into your underpants, you weren't going to
say no."
"No, I mean I liked it anyway, but I'd have done anything he wanted."
"So that's his pack drill, then," Brad says. "Find a single mum with
nice looking kid who really goes for all that attention, and he's in
business, yeah?"
"Yeah, I guess." I say sadly. "I still don't really understand why he
went though; we used to have great times together, seemed like he
enjoyed it as much as I did."
"I bet he did, especially at the start." Brad says, looking at me
intently. "Some guys are into sports cars, yeah? They get one, and to
start with it's so much fun they love it to bits. But after a while
they've done everything it can do; it don't matter how good it is,
it's just not exciting any more, so they start to get bored with it.
Then they start thinking about changing it for something else. That's
all it is; he's traded you in for a new one." He pauses for a moment.
"Any idea what triggered him off, you know, leaving like that?"
"Mum wanted him to sell his apartment so they could buy a house
together."
"Well, he was never going to do that, was he?" he says gently.
"There's your answer then."
"Yeah; it's still hard though. I keep wondering if I did something
wrong."
"Look, there's something else you need to know about guys like him,"
he says quietly. "I've met a few of them, mates of my stepdad, yeah?
One thing they all go for is fresh meat, a kid nobody's had before.
The other thing is that they all have an age that they go for.
There's this one guy, yeah, back when I was ten he went nuts for me;
won't even look at me now. A couple of others weren't interested
then; they like me like this, but by the time I'm fifteen or sixteen
they won't fancy me either. The only thing you did wrong was to start
growing up."
"But your stepdad's been doing stuff with you for years."
"Yeah, but that's a bit different; he didn't have a pot to piss in
when he moved in with us, so he's sort of stuck with me. I know he
liked me a lot more a couple of years back though."
"Yeah, but it's still weird," I protest. "Last Saturday me and James
had one of our best times ever."
"Yeah, well that's sort of like the guy with the sports car, yeah?
He's decided he wants a change, sorted out what he's going to have,
but before he swaps over he takes the old one out one last time,
gives it a real blast, just so he'll remember how good it was."
I hate hearing him describe it like that, it sounds so hard; but what
can I say? He's nailed it hasn't he?
"Tell you what," he says, smiling, and talking even quieter, right
close to my ear. "In a few years when he's thinking back, he's going
to say "I never met another kid like that Chris; he was the best
ever. I must have been stupid to get rid of him the way I did.""
"Thanks Brad," I say quietly.
"No problem!" he says, still smiling. "I've been round guys like him
for long enough; you get to know how it works."
He's tried so hard to make me feel better; I want to kiss him, but I
guess that wouldn't be a good idea right now. The bell goes for our
next class and we go our separate ways.
0 o 0 o 0 o 0
The weekend's hard. The chat with Brad did help; it told me that none
of this is my fault; it's all down to James. The problem is that it
doesn't mean I miss him any less. I miss him terribly; I keep hoping
that any moment he'll walk through the door and everything will be
like it was. But he won't, and it wouldn't work if he did. So I hang
out with Michael. He tries to be helpful, but he just doesn't get it.
Why should he? He hasn't got a clue how close me and James really
were, and I can't possibly tell him. I go round to Tom's house to do
some work on our new science project. It passes the time but my
heart's just not in it. As it goes, Tom seems to understand what I'm
going through much better than Michael does. With me and Michael
having always been so close I didn't expect that, but Tom's been
through some shit himself, so I guess it's down to that.
So Monday rolls round and it's back to school. I pretty well sleep-
walk my way through it, doing enough to keep my head above water but
very little more. And in case you're wondering, I haven't even
thought about sex; I'm just not interested right now. It's the end of
our tutor group period on Tuesday morning when Mr. Sheridan asks me
to stay behind. I've been expecting this; I'm going to get a
bollocking for wasting my time these last few days.
"Pull up a chair and sit down," he says quietly.
I do as he says.
"Right, Chris," he asks. "So what's been going on?"
I don't say anything; I really don't know what I can say.
"Christopher" he continues gently, "the last few days you've been
moping out looking really miserable. Your work's been poor too. I've
noticed and so have several of your other teachers. Now that's just
not like you. There's clearly a problem and I need to know what it
is. And don't worry, whatever you tell me is confidential, as far as
it can be. I may need to say something to Mr. Birkett, but that's
it."
I swallow hard. "Mum's split up with her boyfriend," I tell him
nervously.
"So I guess your mum's pretty upset, yeah?"
"Yeah." I pause. I could get away with leaving it there, but that
makes it sound like it's down to mum giving me a hard time, and
that's not fair. "It's not just that, though, sir," I say. "James
helped me a lot, with school work and all sorts of stuff. Mum always
made sure I worked hard, but before he came along I never thought I
was that good at anything. After he started helping me I just got,
well, a lot more confident, I guess."
"So he helped you to believe in yourself. Well, I can understand why
you're missing him. When did he come on the scene, then?"
"Last Easter."
"Interesting; the report we had from your junior school said you'd
really come on during that last term, so that explains it, I guess."
"Yeah; he'd have made a great teacher." I take a deep breath. "I
never knew my dad," I say quietly, not even looking at him. "Mum's
had other boyfriends, but none of them ever took any interest in me."
"Right," he says gently, smiling at me. "Thanks for being so honest.
All I can say is that you need to take the positives out of this.
Over the last year you've proved to yourself that you can do well;
you've done superbly since you've been here. You need to take that
forward. And just remember, I'm here if you need someone to talk to.
I know it's hard right now, but you can come through it, okay?"
"Yes, sir. Thanks."
I'm on my way. There was no bollocking, just Mr. Sheridan proving
what a great teacher he is. I won't forget that either.
0 o 0 o 0 o 0
Things have got better the last two days. I still miss James, of
course; I really missed him last night when I got home from school,
but somehow I'm starting to get over it. I'm working much better; the
last couple of evenings I've probably worked harder than I ever have,
I guess it helps to keep my mind off things. Mainly it's for me, of
course, but it's for mum too; she seems to be taking it very well,
but underneath she has to be hurting. The last thing she needs is me
losing the plot. I'm not sure if I ever will go and chat to Mr.
Sheridan, but just knowing that he said I could if I needed to; that
means a lot.
There is one problem though; I'm getting horny again. Right now I'm
so horny I daren't even touch myself in case I cum in my boxers. I've
just finished lunch; I make an excuse to the other lads and head off
to find Brad. He's not about. Shit! I can't wait till after school
`cause it's activities evening and several of the workshops get used,
so there'll be people about. There's nothing for it; I head straight
to the technology block. I'm pretty careful, just like always, making
sure nobody's watching me. I make my way into the building and go
straight to the boys' room. Both stalls are empty. There's someone at
the urinal furthest from the door. He turns as he hears me come in.
It's a big, fat, ugly kid; sure, he's got a hard on AND he's playing
with it, but he is gross! There's no way I'd go with him, however
horny I was.
I turn and leave, almost in a panic, quickly heading back the way I
came. As I turn down the side of the building Nathan Yardley's
walking towards me. I pretend not to notice, but when he's gone past
and turned towards the door I double back and follow him. After
seeing him with Anthony, I can't imagine him going with the fat kid
either. Very nervously I push open the door of the boys' room. The
fat kid's still where he was; Nathan's at the urinal closest to the
door, which is sort of at right angles to where the other kid is. We
grin at each other; I walk straight ahead into one of the stalls and
allow him to follow me.
In a matter of seconds our blazers are hung on the hook behind the
door and our trousers and boxer shorts are down round are ankles.
What happens next is a shock. There's no build up at all; Nathan
produces a tube of gel and quickly smears it over his cock. He
positions me over the toilet just like Anthony was and lubes me up
just as fast. A moment later he spears his big teen cock right into
me and starts fucking me senseless. How he knew I'd be able to take
it like that I've no idea. Him just stuffing it in like that was a
bit painful, even for me; if I hadn't been used to it I'd have
screamed the place down.
I guess I shouldn't complain; now he's in there and going for it, it
feels awesome! Fuck! I really needed this! He's holding me round the
hips. I try to get him to play with my cock but he won't do it. Maybe
he wants to suck me off after he's cum. I don't think so; once he's
spunked up my bum he'll be out of here, just like when I saw him with
Anthony. Anyway, I want to cum, and I want it now! So I do it myself.
All it takes is a couple of strokes then the muscle spasms hit. As my
legs turn to jelly I grab the toilet seat, balls churning, my bum
flaring and tightening around Nathan's thrusting cock. In the next
instant my spunk surges through my dick and spurts all over the
place. Seems like that makes him fuck me even harder, pounding my
arse without missing a beat. Suddenly he grabs me even tighter,
pulling me right onto him. His cock rears up inside me, his creamy
spunk flooding over and over into my bum. Wow! That was an amazing
fuck! He pauses for maybe five seconds then quickly pulls out. That's
a bit painful too. I wasn't wrong; before I've even moved from over
the toilet he's dressed and gone.
It's the following morning when I see him again, on his own, heading
towards the sixth form study area. I stroll across to him.
"Hi," I say quietly.
"Don't follow me," he says coldly. "What I do in there stays in
there, okay?"
He strides away. I'm hurt. Yeah, I guess I'm a bit sensitive just
now, but even so, I wouldn't have expected that. So much for him
being Mr. Wonderful; as far as he's concerned all I am is another
cute little arse to fuck. I was thinking that with him living pretty
close to me, things might have developed, into something, you know, a
bit more, yeah? Well, it's pretty clear that's not going to happen.
0 o 0 o 0 o 0
This is it; the day I've been waiting for. This morning after break
me and Tom get to race each other. It's the year seven cross-country
championship. Each tutor group has to pick six kids to run for them;
at the end you add up the positions of the first four finishers from
each group and the lowest score wins. Well, with everything that's
been going on, I haven't even thought about it. Yeah, I feel better
than I did, but I'm not `back to normal' or anything like it. As I
start to get my kit ready I give myself a mental kick up the arse.
Even if Tom wins it, me and Alwyn should get second and third and
Andrew can probably make the top six. As long as Josh or one of the
others runs okay, there's a very good chance we can win it. I'm not
going to let the other kids down by running like an idiot!
I sit on my bed and open the drawer to get my gym shorts. The white
running shorts that James bought for me are lying there. I pick them
up and look at them. I've never worn them, mainly `cause I'd have had
to wear them for gym as well; it'd have felt like I was showing off
or something. Today's different; I want to show off a bit, you know,
like these shorts say, "yeah, I'm here to run!" I stuff them into my
bag.
The changing room is crowded; six boys from each tutor group makes
forty eight of us, rather than the twenty seven we usually have, so
this will be the biggest race I've been in. It'll be the toughest
too, and not just `cause Tom's here. All these kids can run a bit or
they wouldn't have got picked. If I start as slowly as I usually do I
could get caught right at the back. I'll have to watch that; I don't
want to go mad, just start a bit faster.
Wearing the running shorts means taking my boxers off; not a problem,
I do it before I take my shirt off so nobody can see. Right next to
me, Alwyn's putting running shorts on too, black ones, only he's not
as coy as I was; strips right off then puts them on. He's got a
beautiful little body! The sewn-in briefs feel a bit odd at first,
but the shorts are so easy to move in, I guess that's why runners
wear them like that. We head out onto the field. It's a fine day,
with sort of pale sunshine and just a light breeze, the weather just
starting to get warmer. It's been dry for a couple of weeks so the
course won't be muddy, but it's still soft enough for spikes to go in
easily. As I put them on I take a look around. Alwyn isn't just
wearing running shorts, he's wearing a black running vest with a
badge on too. I'm guessing that must be the local athletics club kit,
although he's never mentioned it. Most of the other kids are just in
their ordinary gym kit. The one kid I do notice is Liam. He's wearing
the same kit as Alwyn; he's got spikes on too, looks like he might
give me a good race.
"Don't worry about him," Alwyn mutters, "He does high jump, hurdles,
that sort of thing; he's not much good at this."
That's good to hear. Most of the other kids are chatting. I'm not;
this is serious business. For the first time ever I'm nervous. I
check that I've put my spikes on properly; I don't want them working
loose. I can see Tom prowling around. He's not chatting either, but
he never does. As long as I run well he's the one I'll have to beat.
I follow Alwyn's lead in doing a few stretches and stride-outs, just
getting ourselves loose. We line up; my heart's thumping. The hooter
sounds and we're away.
With all the adrenalin flowing I have to stop myself bolting off like
a frightened rabbit. I do start faster than usual though, taking the
first corner in about eighth place. As we make the long run along the
far side of the field I gradually work my way through, getting up to
the leaders just before we reach the gate. As we head in to the woods
there are four of us together, Tom, Alwyn, Andrew and me; looks
pretty good for the team race. The pace is fierce, definitely faster
than we usually go. We drop Andrew almost immediately; another
quarter mile and Alwyn's gone too, so now it's just me and Tom. The
pace is relentless. Tom's not used to having company when he runs in
his gym class; seems he doesn't like it much. If I try to get right
onto his shoulder; he pushes on even harder; I settle in right behind
him. We make the turn at the oak tree. This is usually where I try to
get away; there's no chance of that, I'm struggling just to stay in
touch. This hurts! My chest feels like it's on fire. I'm not giving
it up though. We run along the fence, kids are shouting us on from
the other side. I hear Daryl's voice.
"Go on, Chris! You can do it!"
That's pretty special; I wouldn't have thought he'd be interested. We
approach the gate, the pace not slackening for a second. So what's
going to happen as we cross the field? Can Tom sprint the way I
usually do? I don't know. Will I be able to sprint? I'm not sure. We
make the turn, three hundred yards to go. The noise of kids shouting
us on is intense. I move out a little, somehow managing to get right
onto Tom's shoulder again. I can hear Mr. Sheridan; he's going nuts,
shouting himself hoarse.
It's like I'm on automatic pilot, running without even thinking about
it. Yard by yard the finish line gets closer, me and Tom running
stride for stride. Two hundred yards left, one fifty, a hundred,
eighty, the noise getting louder the nearer we get. Tom's still got
half a yard on me. I'm running flat out and my chest's about to
explode; how can I possibly sprint? I don't know but I've got to try.
Sixty yards left, maybe a bit less; I push up onto my toes and drive
for the line. Everything's a blur; I'm sort of aware of hitting the
front and that's about it. I cross the line not really sure whether
I've won or not. I move through the finish funnel feeling dizzy and
light headed. At the far end I'm given a ticket. I look at it through
bleary eyes. It's got the number "1" on it. Fuck! I've done it! I've
actually won! It's the hardest thing I've ever done, like nothing
else even comes close.
Once clear of the finish area, I sink down onto my knees, bending
forwards so my head's almost on the ground, heart thumping, lungs
burning. Nothing can ever be as hard as that was! Slowly the
dizziness ebbs away, oxygen getting back to my brain, my breathing
starting to get easier. I flip over so I'm sitting on the ground.
Tom's right there next to me. He extends a hand.
"Well done," he says quietly.
It's a very special moment. Mutual respect; we both gave everything
we had, just in the last few strides I was able to find a bit more.
Pretty soon everyone's back. Alwyn got third like I expected; with
Andrew fifth and Josh eleventh, it looks like we've easily won the
team race. Mr. Sheridan's well happy, like he just won the lottery.
He seems happy for me, especially. After the little chat we had last
week, I guess he knows how important that was. He's definitely the
best teacher I've ever had; probably the best I'll ever have.
Mr. Maynard bustles across to us; he's ecstatic. "Fantastic stuff
lads!" he says showing us the time sheet. "That's the best race we've
had since I've been here!"
I ran eight fifty six; Tom ran eight fifty seven. Wow! I knew it was
quick but I'd never even thought about getting under nine minutes.
That's amazing! Alwyn ran nine minutes twelve, which is a best for
him too.
"I doubt if the year eight kids will run that fast," he tells us,
giving me and Tom a gentle pat on the back.
As we head back towards the gym, Daryl comes across to me.
"Well done," he says. "You were amazing. I wish I'd had a camera with
me; you look really beautiful when you're running."
I appreciate that; he really meant it.
The presentations are right outside the changing room. Winning both
the individual and the team prize; it can't get much better than
that. We go back inside to get changed. I'm sticky and sweaty and
aching all over. I'm going to have a shower and fuck what anyone else
thinks. I strip off, grab my towel and make my way through. The warm
water is so relaxing, exactly what I need. A few of the other boys
join me, including Jerome, who looks even more stunning naked than he
usually does. As it goes I pay him no attention; that's not important
right now. Today's been a turning point. I proved something to myself
out there; when it really matters, I can do it. Now that IS
important.