Date: Thu, 22 Dec 2005 22:04:08 -0600
From: Chris Pe <dr_chris_p@hotmail.com>
Subject:What a trip 11

I'm not sure how this little episode is going to turn out in the long run,
or even next week.  It was just a easy start to the week.  I was in my
normal routine around the house, doing a little work in my home office,
signing papers and getting them ready for the FedEx guy, and doing the
household chores.  It was the first week of the school vacation.  Lance
grabbed a couple of packs of cold poptarts and headed out to whatever
adventure called to him.  Jason was a little late in getting up, then spent
a little bit of time in the bathroom taking care of things.  As I got a
document off the Bluetooth printer, I could hear the rhythm coming from the
bathroom that confirmed that Jason was dealing with his morning erection in
his normal way.

It was after lunch, I had returned from some errands and even went down the
office.  I dread actually going there about as much as they dread me showing
up.  When I got home I  had walked down the street to a little old lady's
home.  She is a sweet old thing, she convinced me to mow her grass several
summers ago and paid me good money, a whole 5 bucks to do it.  The good
thing about acquiring a couple of teen boys is that I don't have to do that
second yard each week.  It does cost me $15 as I add that to the lady's
payment to pay which ever boy needs the money that week.  She pays me once a
month and I end up paying the boys each week.  The boys are convinced that
she pays me a whole lot more than $20 per mow and that I keep it as my
commission.  I tell them that its how I fund their Christmas presents.

I came home carrying the tin of homemade cookies the lady made for the
family.  Instead of coming through the front door, I went through the garage
so that I could take care of the laundry that I had started earlier that
day.  I had a big pile of mostly the boys' clothes.  I know I only have two
boys but they seem to wear about four times the clothes that my wife and I
do.  I headed for Jason's room with the pile of clothes.  About two steps
away from his room, I heard enough noise that made me think that Jason was
home.  I didn't think too much about it as I pushed the door open with my
hip.  As I stepped into the room, there were three of us jumping from
surprise.

The clothes went into the air, and I stood there looking.  I saw a half
naked boy on his knees on Jason's bed.  The boy I know as Shine was only
wearing socks and a t-shirt.  That is what originally caught my attention.
When Shine screamed "Oh Shit!" and bailed off on the other side of the bed
is when I saw Jason.  Shine's boner was still coming out of Jason's mouth.
And that is when the cussing really started.

Jason used fuck or a version of the word in every grammatical tense and
form.  I was told to get the fuck out, that I was a fuck head, and to fuck
myself.  I was asked what I was fucking doing, what the fuck was I looking
at, and would I fucking leave the fucking room.  It really didn't take me
that fucking long to get out.

I went to the other end of the house but I could still hear the panic in
Jason's room.  Shine did laugh a time or two.  I immediately went into
parenting mode.  I asked myself, "what would my dad do?"  I wrote that off.
I didn't figure going in and beating each of the boys with their dislocated
boners was that great of an idea.  I asked myself, "what would I want if I
was caught when I was that age?"  I had to write that off too, I didn't
think it was possible for Jason to shrivel up and disappear.  I thought
about what his actual father would do, I discounted that as well.  It
probably wouldn't have been that effective to kick the boy in the ass and
then go drinking.  When I thought about what my wife, his mother, would do,
I realized I was really going to have to deal with this myself, as I could.

Then I was also pissed.  Who was this sum bitch telling me to get fucked in
my own house.  Jason is usually so mature that I see him as an adult.  I
took offense at his cussing me out.  I realized I was thinking about a kid
and tried to get rid of that thought.  As I tried to figure out what to do,
the thought of being insulted by him kept coming back.  I realize now that
it was just easier to fire back at that rather than try to handle the
tougher situation.

Shine came rushing towards the door.  I know his nickname doesn't have
anything to do with how his face was shining by blushing so hard and red,
but it was pretty appropriate at the time.  I caught him as he was a few
steps out the door.  He didn't want to stop as I called him.  He wouldn't
look at me, just kept looking at his shoes or out to the street, to his
escape.  He did laugh a little but I could see that he was also close to
tears.  I made him listen to me as I spouted off.  I told him that I didn't
want him to worry about it, at all, that everything was cool, that there was
nothing wrong.  I made him look at me when I asked him if he understood.  He
smiled and nodded, and rolled his eyes.  I told him to come back tomorrow.
The only thing he said was, "Please be cool D-Dad."  I'm D-Dad to many of
the boys, D as in designated.

I heard some banging around from Jason room and then he emerged.  He looked
at me, opened his mouth to say something but then just turned and headed out
the door.  If this had been a year or so ago, I would have loved being able
to get out of the parenting thing and would have just let it all just happen
without me.  I would have figured that in a couple of days, Jason would have
gotten over it, or at least gotten hungry enough to come back home.  I
waited a few moments and then went out the front door.  When I went to the
curb, I saw him heading down the street.  It was a cold day, and the kid had
walked out without his jacket.

I went in and got his coat, got in my vehicle and went to find him.  I
caught up with him and rolled down the window.  He didn't say anything at
all, barely acknowledged that I or the SUV was there.  I just told him that
if he was going anywhere to take his coat.  He looked at me and said he
didn't want to talk about it.  I said, "Fine, just take the coat."

He started to argue when he realized what I was offering, just the jacket.
He came over to the vehicle and reached through the window.  I said, "When
your through going where ever you are going and you want to talk, I will be
around."

He ripped back, "I don't want to talk.  You had no right to come into my
room . . . "

I cut him off.  I could feel the blood rush to my face when I said, "Whoa,
do not go there.  That is our house, OUR house."  I was glad I said `our',
instead of `my'.  "I'm sorry that I didn't know you were there but I was
doing your laundry for you, putting it away for you, in our house.  Don't
you go shitting on me for walking into your room.  I would not have gone in
if I had known."

"I don't go running into your room when you are porking mom!"  He growled.

"No, no you don't, and I'm sure it because you know we are in there and you
wouldn't run in if you knew that.  I didn't know.  I'm sorry that I barged
in."

He just yanked the coat out of my hand and flipped me off.  He started
walking down the street.  I wasn't so much mad, just couldn't think how to
resolve this.  I was almost sure it could be resolved.

I hit the gas and sped on by him.  I went down a couple of blocks and pulled
into the convenience store.  I sat there for a second and then walked in.
As I was walking up and down the aisle, the only thing I could think of was
to buy a couple of Cherry Cokes.  I leaned on my Expedition for several
minutes but I had it right.  Jason turned the corner and walked to the
store.  As he stepped up on the sidewalk to the store, he saw me offering
him a Cherry Coke.  I got an immediate smile out of him but that quickly
turned back into a scowl.  I got credit from him for knowing where he was
going and knowing what he would buy for himself.  I knew he was almost
hooked on Cherry Cokes, its almost as bad as those people who find Dr
Pepper.  Being at the store was just where I stopped first.

His cheeks were read from the cold.  He was sniffling from the cold as well.
  I'm sure it was from a few tears as he walked alone.  We stood there as he
drank the cold Coke, I'm sure that didn't help warm him up at all.  We
didn't say anything at all for several minutes.  I asked him if he would get
in the car and let's go somewhere.  He did mumble and stumble over several
poor excuses.  It was when I told him that I really needed help moving
something from the house out at the ranch that he agreed to get in.

We were quiet all the way out of town.  The conversation started slowly.  I
was still searching for words, I had bits and pieces of what I wanted to say
but I was having a hard time getting it started.  Then he said, "I'm not
gay."

I replied, "You can be anything you want."  And happy that I didn't say, `It
doesn't matter to me' or `I don't care".  I really didn't want to say that I
didn't care.

Jason went on to try to explain that it was just fooling around and that it
was a dare that he had to do.  I said that I knew him too well to know that
he wouldn't do anything that he didn't really want to do.  I was also able
to say that it didn't mean that he was gay, straight, or bi, that he was
just figuring out who he was and what the world was about.

It was a long conversation.  Jason worked himself up a couple of times, he
was talking while taking big gulps of air.  I've really only seen him get
that upset once before.  He talks in spurts and he shakes and he tries to
take in enough air.

I missed the turn from the FM road up to the house and drove awhile.  I said
a few things that made him mad or frustrated.  He said a few things that
made me laugh, some were even intentional.  We never did make it to the
ranch house.  I pulled off into the parking lot of an old abandoned road
house, to make sure that he was understanding what I was saying.  To go over
all the things that were said would bore the readers and I don't know if I
could really do it justice.  He was worried about what I thought, about me
telling his mother, and about doing something wrong.

I told him that I thought he was a great kid, person, and loved having him
in my life and in our home.  And if he meant what I thought about what I
saw, it was that I was sorry to scare him and me both for walking in on
them.  I was also thinking that I wanted to make sure that Shine wasn't
worried about it and to let him know he was still as welcome as ever.  And I
really hope I explained it right when I tried to tell him that it was up to
him as to what he did.

As to what his mother would think, I told him I had no intention of every
telling her.  Besides, there is no way that would ever change the way she
thought about him, at least I hope it wouldn't.

And when he was worried about doing something wrong, I did tell him there
were rules.   Not my rules but rules he would have to learn in order to not
only survive but continue to develop into an adult.  They came so clearly
and easily to me then, I hope I can catch the most important ones.  One was
to never do anything that would cause physical harm.  Another was never do
anything he or anyone involved did not want to do.  That one did get him to
admit he did want to do it with Shine, more or less.  He had to think of the
consequences.  Whether those consequences were getting a girl, like his
girlfriend Jessica, pregnant, or if it was making something public that
would change his life.  Another rule was to take it slow, I know this was a
hard one and not sure if I believe it myself.

He added some things to the rules.  It amazed me to listen to how much he
had thought about life.  There was much more about his rules than sex, and
love.  I heard some of his scout influence come through.  I heard a lot of
learning from his mother.  And even a slant from things he got from me.  It
really wasn't all that many rules but it sure covered a huge base to build
on.

The last rule, I said with a smile trying to break out on my face, was to
not cuss me out and I would not whoop the shit out of him for doing it.

It has been a little uncomfortable since then but our relationship seemed
even better today as we did a little last minute shopping.  It was all
smiles when we ran into Shine and a couple of other of his friends at the
mall.  Shine even gave me a little punch and a big smile when I paid for his
and Jason's way into the movie theater.

That day did end with a different issue.  I got a call from one of Lance's
friend's mother.  It seems that Lance and his buddy's were burning butt hair
off each other with a fireplace lighter.  Lance did tell me it was alright,
they just were lighting farts and they just got too close.  I was so
absolutely worn out by then.  I'm not real sure I want to hear more of that
story.