Date: Mon, 10 Apr 2006 00:23:38 -0400
From: Lucien Stoow <lucien__85@hotmail.com>
Subject: where-am-i-Part2

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He gave me his killer smile.

We live north of a town called Chapleau.  There was so much snow that it
knocked out our phone and the radio says it could be days before they can
dig us out.

"Well even if they did I can't see myself going anywhere."  I gestured
towards my legs.  I lay my head back and closed my eyes so I could try to
get a little more comfortable.  Just then I heard a female voice yell from
somewhere in the house.

"DINNER TIME!"

"Great," I thought, "I'll get right on that."

"Be right there!"  Well, I guess I haven't lost my sarcasm.

"Coming Mom!" the boy yelled before giving me that smile of his again.  It
made my heart melt every time.  "I gotta go for supper but I'll come back
later if it's okay?"

"Yep, it's okay.  I don't mind at all."

"Awesome!"  He disappeared through the doorway.

As I lay there, I had several thoughts going through my head. Chapleau?
Why was I anywhere near there?  How long was I going to be there?  Where
was I coming from?  Why couldn't I remember anything?  I was starting to
get a little upset and frustrated when a woman who looked to be in her
thirties entered the room.  She just smiled at me and sat down in the same
chair where the boy had been.

"I am glad to see you're awake now.  How do you feel?"

"Ugh, well I don't hurt as much as I think I should and I am feeling pretty
exhausted but other then that I guess I really can't complain."

"I noticed that you were starting to stir so I gave you a shot of morphine
to help with the pain."

"Could I ask how you got morphine?  I'm just curious is all."  I was never
one to not ask a question.

She just gave a little laugh.  "I'm a part-time trauma nurse at a
hospital."

Ok, makes sense.

"I hope Nicholas hasn't been bothering you too much."

"Naw, it's ok. I really don't mind the company."

"Especially when there cute," I thought.

"Good, let me know if he becomes bothersome."  So that would be like,
ummm... never?  If anything, I hope he's around often.  I could use the
company.

"Well let's take a look at your wounds shall we?"  She pulled back my
blankets. I watched with interest, as I was quite anxious to see if my legs
were as bad as they felt. I must have been really drugged up because I
didn't even realize there was a cast on my broken leg.

"There is a cast on my leg," I kind of stated to myself out loud.  I think
I was more amazed then anything.  She went over and grabbed some pillows
from the corner.

"I had some supplies left over from when Nicholas broke his arm in the barn
last fall.  Your bones were cracked but they didn't shift so I was able to
just put the cast on.  I am going to prop your leg up so that the swelling
will go down a bit."

I braced myself and yelped when she lifted my leg. She even jumped back in
surprise.  Nicholas popped his head into the room wearing a very worried
look on his face.

"Hey are you ok? You sounded like Mom just stabbed you or something."

"Nicholas!" His mother shot him a dirty look. "Upstairs and take your
shower. It's getting late."

"But Mo..."

She cut him off abruptly. "Right now"

He sighed and glanced at me with those puppy dog eyes before disappearing
into the hallway. I get the feeling that those puppy dog eyes are going to
get me into a lot of trouble.

"Here drink this".  She handed me a glass of water.  "If you can keep this
down, you can try eating some food. Your stomach is bruised up pretty bad
and I don't want you to make it worse."  She covered my legs with the bed
sheets. "If you need anything at all, just holler. I am a light sleeper and
I'll hear you."

I can't believe how nice she was being to me considering she didn't know
me.

"Thank you so much for your help and hospitality.  I really do appreciate
it."

"Don't worry about it, dear.  Just work on getting better."

"Um, Cindy?"

"Yes, dear?"

"I need to uh... kinda use the washroom... really bad"

"Oh!  Well we can solve that.  Will a urinal pot work or do you need the
bed pan?"

My face must have turned six shades of red. This was way past embarrassing.

"Umm... uh the urinal will do."

"I will send Nicholas in a little bit to collect it from you if that's
okay."

"Yep that's fine."  I wanted to talk with him again anyway.

"All right then, get some sleep and we can try some breakfast in the
morning. Sleep tight."

She walked out of the room only to stop abruptly in the doorway.  "Didn't I
say to go and shower?"

"Yes."

"Then go do it now or you will be going straight to bed afterwards."

I could hear a slight groan from the hall.  "Fine I'll go shower now.
Geeze"

He must have been eavesdropping the whole time. She closed the bedroom door
and I was left with my good friend, Seņor Urinal Pot. They should make
commercials for these things. You know the kind where you don't know what
they're talking about until the end and kids think its something totally
different. Kind of like a Viagra commercial: `Ask your doctor about Urinal
Pots!  Call for a free sample!'  Yep, I've lost it. After completing my
business and thanking God that it wasn't painful, I put Seņor Urinal Pot on
the nightstand.

I lay there trying to stay awake while I waited for what seemed like an
eternity.  Eventually I heard a light tapping on the door before it slowly
crept open.  Nicholas slipped in and closed the door behind him.

"Mom said that I wasn't allowed to wake you if you were sleeping so I am
really glad you're awake."

He came over and sat on the chair beside the bed.

"So do you always give your mom a hard time like that?"

"No, not really.  Usually only when I really want something."

"And what would that something be this time?"

"Well... I wanted to talk to you some more I guess"

"Well I enjoy your company.  It's really quiet here."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, shoot."

"You never told me your name."

I started to respond and froze. I fought around frantically in my mind
trying to remember my name. I stared into space as I whispered, "I don't
remember my name."

"It's ok. You did hit your head pretty hard you know. Just so you know,
your name is Thomas."

Thomas?  It was foreign to me yet it sounded like it belonged.

"How do you know that?"

"I found your driver's license in your wallet.  I look at it when mom's not
around.  She doesn't want me going into it."

"Oh I see. Well I don't mind that you look at it. So did you learn anything
from my wallet that might bring back some of my lost memory?"

"Your name is Thomas Dutrizac. You're twenty years old and your birthday is
October 31st.  I remember that because it's Halloween and that's so cool.
You live in Toronto, which is about a day's drive from here if the roads
are clear."

At this point I was so overwhelmed that I just lay there with my mouth
agape.  I didn't say anything. I just lay there and stared. I tried putting
the pieces of the puzzle together in my head but I couldn't really remember
much past my name.

"Thomas? Are you ok?"

I snapped out of the spell I was in and glanced over at him.

"Um... would you mind if I call you Tommy?  I really like that name."

Ugh. For some reason I remember my friends always called me Tommy. I hated
it so much but maybe I could get use to it if Nicholas called me that.

"I guess that's okay but it's gotta be a trade."

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"I will let you call me Tommy, but only if I can call you Nicky. I really
like that name."

He sat there pondering my proposition. "I never let anyone call me that.
Like I don't even let mom call me that.  But, I guess I could make an
exception.  So yeah, okay, I guess you can call me Nicky."

"Okay, then Nicky it is."

He grimaced for a second before he gave in and grinned.

"There see, it isn't that bad now, is it?"

"Yeah... you're right Tommy."

It was then my turn to recoil in disgust. I really don't like it for some
reason. I can't be a hypocrite now can I?

"What ever do you mean?  I'm always right!" I let out a laugh releasing the
pain that was hiding in my stomach only waiting for its chance to strike.
I whimpered but remained completely still.  Oh, my God, that really hurt.

"Whoa, are you okay? Your stomach must be really sore."

"If you mean sore as in it feels like the seventh pit of hell, then, yeah
it is.  I think I'm dying."

"Hold on. I'll be right back." And with that he disappeared out the door. I
let out an exhausted sigh and tried to ignore the pain.

A few moments later he returned with some pills and water.

''Here take these.  Mom says that they will help you sleep.  She said that
I have to go to bed, too."

I took the pills and handed Nicky the glass.  ''Well, I guess this is good
night then.  Thanks for the company.  It was nice."

That caused him to blush slightly.

"Uh, thanks. I had fun too."

He retrieved Seņor Urinal Pot from the nightstand and made his way to the
door. As he was about to close the door, he stopped.

"Tommy?''

''Yeah?'

I could see that he was attempting to formulate his question.

"I... Goodnight Tommy..."

"G'night, cutie"

He smiled and with that he was gone, closing the door behind him. I shut my
eyes and tried to relax. Slowly I felt the medication begin to sweep me
into an undertow of darkness. Everything became disjointed and I was
swallowed into the rabbit hole.


**********


My eyes shot open and I was immediately aware of the sound in my room. It
was still completely dark so I assumed that it was like 2 am or something.
At first I thought that the sound was from the wind outside but it was
coming from right beside me. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness
and strained to see the shape curled up on the rug beside my bed.

"Nicky!... pssst!... Nicky wake up!..."

He just lay curled up with his soft and steady breathing filling the void
of sound in the room. I didn't want to wake him but I didn't want him to
stay there all night.  Keeping in mind that my stomach wasn't doing to
well, I leaned over the bed supporting myself with my arm and managed to
brush my fingers through his hair. That was enough to cause him to
stir. His eyes opened and he panicked. He was on his feet faster then I had
a chance to figure out what was going on. He was already heading towards
the door when I called out to him.

"Nicky!  Stop!"

Nicky stopped dead in his tracks and lowered his head but did not turn
around.  I turned the small light on beside the bed which was just bright
enough to see around the room but that's about it.

"Come here", I spoke trying to use my softest voice. He hesitated but
slowly turned around and walked to about four feet from my bed. He still
hadn't looked at me.

"What's going on, Nicky?"

He tried to speak but was unable to say anything.  He slowly looked up at
me with a tear stained face and that's when I noticed that he was crying.

"Come over here."

I extended my arms and he almost fell into them. I held him tightly while
he cried into my shoulder. This kid was breaking my heart. I felt my eyes
filling up with tears but I held them back. I held him and he just quietly
sobbed while I made `shhh-ing' noises and stroked his hair. Out of the
corner of my eye I saw the door move. It slowly opened and I Cindy poked
her head into view. She looked very sympathetic like she knew exactly what
was going on. At least one of us does. I gave her a reassuring smile and
gestured that she could leave. She nodded and her head disappeared out of
sight. I gave him one more tight squeeze before releasing him. He let go
and slumped into the chair beside me.

"I'm... sorry, Tommy," he managed to choke out.

Oh, my God, this kid is gonna break me into a million pieces.

"First things first.  Don't be sorry. You haven't done anything wrong. You
never have to apologize to me okay?"

He nodded his head and looked down at the bed.

"Secondly, how `bout you tell me what's bothering you, huh?"

His eyes watered and I patiently waited for his response.

"Okay, um, well, uh..." he let out a big sigh. "It's because of Damien I
guess".

Well, we're getting somewhere. "Who is Damien?"

"He was my cousin. He used to be my best friend. Always made me... feel so
speci..."

Again he burst into tears. I grabbed his hand and gave it a squeeze. He
grabbed my hand with his other hand and held on to me.

"You remind me so much of him. When I'm around you, I feel so safe. I know
your not him but I can't help it. You think I'm being stupid don't you."

"Of course I don't! I think you have a really big heart and I am glad that
I am the one who can make you feel safe."

This explains why he was at my bedside when I first woke up. And why he
wanted to be around me so much and talk to me. The poor kid looked so
exhausted sitting there.

"My beds big enough if you want to stay here. I don't think you should stay
on the floor all night."

His face lit up a little when I said that.

"Are you sure?"

"Yep, I'm sure. Climb on in."

I shifted over and allowed him to get in before I pulled the covers around
us. I reached up and turned off the lamp throwing us back into complete
darkness.  Because of my legs I remained on my back but I felt Nicky curl
up next to me. I leaned down and gave him a kiss on the head.

"Thank you," he whispered.

"You're welcome.  We will finish our talk in the morning.  Get some sleep."

I have the feeling that tomorrow is going to be very sad and depressing.
My mind slowly drifted back to the island of dreams before sailing north
towards morning.

===============================================================================

So there was part two. This one was actually edited and everything thanks
to a friend.  I was overwhelmed with the amount of feedback I got. Thank
you all for sending me a note. Some suggestions I followed and some I
didn't. It's not personal. I Started this story for me and I will continue
it for me. I only put it on nifty to share it.  I figure theres at least
one other person out there who will like it however I'm not here to sell it
to others. I rewrote this thing 3 times before I got something I liked.
Because of exams and such I honestly don't know how long until I submit
another chapter.  Anyway thanks for the encouragement!

~Lucien
lucien__85@hotmail.com