Date: Sun, 26 Sep 2004 02:06:38 -0400
From: Krys T <liljademoon@msn.com>
Subject: Dealing With It - Chapter 11

Okay, I finally got another chapter out and I'm so very
sorry it took me so long to get this out.  Hopefully the
next couple of chapters will come a little fast.  Sorry if
there are errors, this is unedited cause I'm an idiot that
lost my editor's email, so Michael, email me if you read
this.  Thanks to everyone who's written to me in response to
my story.  And a special thanks to Laurie for tell me I have
a fan club.  Ya for me!

Normal legal B.S. applies.  Don't read if you're not suppose
to.



11

Caelum

There was a warm, hard body pressed against my side.  That
was the first thing to filter into my sleep-fogged brain.
My second thought was the joyful realization that it had not
been a dream.  Zane was asleep in my bed, curled up against
me and I didn't dream it.  Dragging heavy lids open, I
noticed that the room wasn't completely dark.  The door was
open a crack, letting some light brighten the room.  Taking
advantage of this I turned slightly to look at Zane still
sleeping against me.  He looked young as he lay there.  His
hair looked almost black where it was spread across the
pillow.  His face was relaxed and a small smile hovered on
his lips, as if he was dreaming of something he liked.  As I
watched him, a new thought hit me, he may have been
interested last night, but would he still be in the bright
light of day?  With this, thought in mind I shook him awake.
"Mmm, Cae?" he asked, his voice still gravely with sleep.
He stretched, sliding his body across mine.  "Was last night
real?"
I didn't answer vocally, wasn't sure that I would be able to
anyway.  Instead, I pressed my lips against his and pulled
him tight against me.  He made a soft sound before wrapping
his arms around me, opening his mouth beneath mine.  I could
feel the hard press of his arousal against my hip and I knew
he could feel me, equally as hard.  But neither of us made a
move, we only kissed, our lips and tongues sliding over each
other.
"Told ya they'd figure it out on their own," I heard Anthony
comment from the doorway.  Zane broke the kiss and buried
his flaming face in my shoulder, muttering about people not
knocking.  I did the only thing I could think of, flipped
both Anthony and Ci standing beside him, off.  Laughing,
Anthony headed back into the living room.  Ci walked across
the bedroom and sat on the edge of the bed next to Zane.
"I'm happy for you too," she said softly, pressing kisses to
our faces.  Zane rose up a bit and looked her in the eye.  A
moment of silence passed and Ci smiled down at us.  "I'm
gonna go molest my boyfriend.  Don't do anything I wouldn't
do!"
The door closed behind her, throwing the room back into
darkness.  A flash of disappointment filled me before I
realized what a blessing the darkness could be.  We needed
to talk and this way made it safe to say those things that
needed saying without the stress of looking at each other.
"I suppose we should have that talk now?" Zane whispered,
pressing his face back into my shoulder.  I let a sigh of
relief go, glad that I wasn't the one to bring it up.
"Yeah.  Did you want to get up?" I asked, running a hand
over his hair.
"Not unless I have too, I don't think I could face Ci and
Anthony right now.  Besides," he said with a chuckle, "I'm
comfortable."
"So . . . how long have you liked me?" I started, hoping to
jump-start the conversation.
"You don't pull any punches, do you?"  Zane laughed as he
shifted closer.  "I can safely say since I first saw you in
the locker room."
"Me too." I admitted.  "You were so shy, it was adorable."
"Adorable?  I am not adorable!" he exclaimed, hitting me
softly.
"Yes you are.  You're adorable and sweet and cute," I
teased.  "Seriously though, why didn't you say anything?"
"At first I was afraid.  The town I come from wasn't as
accepting as here.  Then Ci and I talked, but she forgot to
mention that you were gay.  She told me about Jeff and Rick,
and a few others, but not about you.  I was afraid you'd be
disgusted.  It's one thing to have a gay friend; it's very
different to have a guy liking you."  All this was whispered
into my shoulder and I began to understand why Zane had run
out after my unintentional confession.  I tightened my arms
around him, pulling him closer into my body.



Zane

Silence greeted my confession and I felt like a fool for
admitting all that to Cae, but it was out now and nothing
could take the words back.  Surprised flowed through me as
Cae's arms pulled me in closer.
"I'm so sorry," the whispered words drifted across my hair
and seemed to lodge themselves in my heart.  There was an
aching sadness in Cae's voice and it tore into me.
"Why are you sorry?  You didn't do anything wrong, Cae.  If
I hadn't been such a coward I would have said something
earlier on," I looked up, wishing I could see him in the
darkness.
"I thought you and Ci were a couple, you know," he stated
softly.  "It hurt so much.  That's why I was such an asshole
at Halloween.  I was so jealous.  I wasn't mad at you, or at
Ci.  I was pissed at myself.  Then Ci goes and gives you my
bed. . .  Actually, that was kinda funny and so like her.
Figured you were straight so I was surprised when you agreed
to share the bed.  When I woke up wrapped around you I
thought you'd be angry, so I made sure I was up before you
were so that you didn't know."
"I had already been awake and I didn't mind.  It felt nice."
He laughed.  "We seemed to be okay after that, and then I
screwed up at the party.  I don't mean the holding you part,
but the way I reacted.  All I can say is I was afraid you'd
hate me.  If only us knew about it then it could be covered
up, but everyone saw.  I was so scared I pushed everyone
away.  When Ci finally convinced me to talk to you, I tell
you something that scares you and you run.  I seriously
thought you hated me."
"S'okay, I thought everyone was playing a grand joke on the
new guy.  I accused Ci of it before I took off.  Gotta admit
I wasn't thinking to clearly at the time.  I was too angry.
At you, at myself and at Ci.  She sent Jeff after me, you
know.  I talked with him, he told me some things about you
that I didn't know, gave me a different perspective on the
situation."  I felt strange trying to explain my actions,
but I knew that everything needed to be said.
We were both silent for a few minutes, processing what the
other had said.  I should have felt embarrassed to be lying
there in his arms, but there was only comfort in the
embrace.  Okay, a little more than comfort, but until
everything was resolved comfort would be the only outcome.
I wasn't sure if was upset by that or not.  Cae sighed
softly against my hair and I cuddled closer, enjoying the
warmth of his body.
"Where do we go from here?" I asked breaking the silence.
"I guess that depends on what we want," he replied.  "So,
what do you want?"


Caelum

There was silence after my question and I could almost hear
the wheels in his head turning.  I kept my mouth shut,
waiting for Zane to figure out what he wanted from me, from
us.  I knew what I want: him, even if only as a friend.
Sadly, I would take anything I could get.
"I want us to at least be friends," he started, echoing my
own sentiment.  "I'd like more, if it's possible, but if
not, I'll settle for your friendship."
"Friendship is good.  I can do friendship, but I'm
definitely not adverse to something a little more. . ." I
trailed off.
Zane lifted his head off my shoulder and pressed his lips
against mine.  "A little more like that?" he asked.
"Yeah," I answered, before kissing him back, harder and
deeper.  There was an underlying lust to the kisses, but
more than that was the feeling of contentment and belonging.
It was just right to kiss Zane.  It was perfect.  "Perhaps
we should get up?" I said as we broke off.
"Hmm, I guess.  Probably should tell Ci what we decided too,
otherwise she'll bug us until we kill her," Zane replied,
laughing.
"I don't doubt she's outside the door right now trying to
listen in.  And Anthony's probably right there with her."
Still laughing, Zane moved out of my arms and stood up
before turning on the lap and giving me a clear view of him
in the light.  His hair was a mess, there were crease marks
on his face from the pillows and his lips were swollen from
kissing.  To me he had never looked better.
"Come on, I'm hungry," he said, tugging me from the bed.
"And we really should talk to Ci before she drives herself
crazier with curiosity."
Agreeing with him, I allowed myself to be dragged off the
bed and stood there for a moment taking in the sight of him
before leaning over and kissing him again.  Then, preparing
myself to deal with my nosy sister, I took his hand and
headed into the living room.