************************ WARNING *************************** 
Please Note this is a true story and it happened to  me  and 
though it has its humour in retrospect at the time it was to 
say the least in all honesty the worst  moment  of  my  life 
my main dread was how am I going to tell my BF and his folks 
Please Note: Not recomended reading you have  been  *Warned* 
*********************** THANK YOU ************************** 

************************ WARNING *************************** 
*********** Please Remember To Always Practice ************* 
************************ SAFE SEX ************************** 
*************** Your Life May Depend On It ***************** 
************************************************************ 

********************** My AIDS Test ************************ 
*************************  by  ***************************** 
*************************  Me  ***************************** 

Hey, I am a pretty active very athletic type the real jock in 
school and very popular with just about everyone and I suppo- 
se because I did an awful lot of Bodybuilding got no shit off 
anyone. Anyway, I was into powered flying, and S.C.U.B.A. and 
all sorts of physical type sports. Well I was sent for a full 
medical and answered quite matter of factly and in all hones- 
ty in the questionnair I was presented that I was gay. Flamin 
heck, the doctor couldn't believe his eyes and he  said "this 
is the first time anyone ever wrote that down on the form." - 
Great Now he tells me. Anyway, he did all the usual stuff and 
prodded and poked about my anatomy sent me for a chest  X-Ray 
an all that stuff. Yes, I had to jump up on his couch and  he 
fiddled with my dick and squeezed my balls, then  shoved  his 
rubber gloved finger up my butt and poked around my prostate. 
When all this was complete he said take this up to  the  path 
lab, and he handed me a scribbled note, "what's this" I asked 
and he said "the law requires that you have an HIV blood test" 
I sort of grumbled and muttered, but accepted the inevitabil- 
ity of it all and asked him what would happen,  "Well, if its 
negative, nothing, but if it is positive then we will  inform 
your family doctor." Shit I did not like this at all,  but he 
said that was that and there was nothing he could do to alter 
it. So I asked him how long before the result come out and in 
response he had said "Two weeks" Now here's the rub,  I am in 
teaching hospital and a student in anaesthesia,  and it is so 
near the end of the semester that I will be at home when  the 
results of that HIV test come out. But I am not worried after 
all I have been careful, so I trot up to the haemotology labs 
and this nurse reads the paper,  she is taking no risks and I 
am handled through rubber gloves. I jump up on the trolley an 
she ties on the ligature and that damned syringe looks to  me 
to be mighty massive. Bloody hell, does she need a sample  or 
is this a damned donation. Anyway she sticks the needle in my 
arm and this dark red blood is filling that huge syringe. and 
I am thinking great bedside manner, becase she does not say a 
single word. Then she takes out the needle and that was  that 
and I was pretty pissed, because she did not  even  have  the 
decency to stick on a patch to stop the bruising. Sure enough 
an hour later, still waiting to process the papers, my arm is 
purple black and red with a huge brusie and bloody painful. I 
am angry because I always have the dcency to make sure I stick 
a wad on my patients arm's when I give an IV and I am thinking 
I detest her unprofessionalism. More than that I am pissed as 
she never even had to courtsey to talk to me, and she made me 
feel much less than human just by those gloves and the way in 
which she had handled me. I am standing there in this queue & 
my head is buzzing, everything is getting further and further 
away, there are fans in front of my eyes. I opened my eyes in 
an instant and there is this beautiful blond haired girl with 
gorgeous blue eyes staring into my eyes. She is a  nurse  and 
on her right is a doctor, her voice filters down to  me  "Are 
you alright ?" I try to rise, "No, just lie down for a moment" 
she smiles reassuringly, her hand is restraining me and I  am 
confused for a few seconds. "You had a mild syncopy" said the 
doctor ... OHHhhhh! God, I fainted. He was using the  medical 
term out of courtsey, or testing my comprehension.  I got the 
message and they allowed me up. "Are you OK ?" "Errr .... Yes 
I am sorry, but when folks make a hole in me I usually faint, 
I am sorry ..." They both laugh, understandingly, doctors are 
the worst patients. 

The next couple of days in school went quick enough and  need 
I say that everyone wanted to know what this  massive  bruise 
on my arm is all about. "Blood test" is my response and thats 
that, no one asks anything else. After all we have all had an 
arm punctured at some time or other to keep the  vampires  in 
clover. Yup, I get home and the moment my jacket comes off it 
is pretty evident my parents are staring at the big bloody ol 
mark and pumping me for information in the Spanish inqquisit- 
ion. "Its a blood test" But they are parents and its "What is 
it for ?"  "Errrr ... sports"  well, they did not push it any 
further, but they did not seem too happy either.  Well,  when 
the next day dawned, I was up bright and early and off out of 
the door before I got landed with a ton of chores, and strai- 
ght round to my Boy friends house. He has just got back  from 
another school and there was the usual questioning, but I did 
not tell him that it was an HIV test. Hey why worry him ..... 

The next two weeks passed and every now and again I would run 
through all these scenarios in my head, but whichever way  it 
ran that test had to be negative.  There was just no way this 
boy could have HIV.  Yet  the niggling voice was always there 
the second week came and on the day, I had been out alone all 
day, got back to my friends house and he said "OH!  Your  Dr. 
has phoned me here from the surgery twice today, he said  can 
you go round immediately it is Urgent."  My blood turned into 
icewater, I mean if that test was negative then no one  would 
know, this meant and all my worst nightmare scenarios were in 
that moment all crowding in on me and coming very true. OH my 
God, what ... how am I gonna tell my parents and worse how am 
I going to tell my BF and his parents. This was just unreal I 
mean, I broke into this cold sweat and my heart was thundering 
in my chest, I turned ashen grey and my friend thought I  was 
on the way out. I wlaked out his door with leaden feet, every 
step took another twenty years off my life. My brain was in a 
real frenzy of overdrive and that was the lonliest longest of 
all the walks ever in my entire life. It felt like  my  shoes 
weighed a ton each, and what was a ten minute amble  took  me 
twenty minutes odd. I got to the surgery and there was a huge 
queue as I had no appointment, I was waiting, sweating and in 
each second that passed I died another thousand times My mind 
ran and re-ran the same scenario a thousand times,  "How am I 
going to tell my Boy Friend and his parents ?" I knew that my 
folks would react badly, but they would cope,  but how do you 
say that to your other half and his folks ? My blood pressure 
was surely through the roof as my body chemistry was  clearly 
all the way out driven by my mind which was simply trying  to 
come to terms with this simple reality. 

Finally that red light winked and I was alone in the  doctors 
reception office, I truged to his door and it swung open, and 
there he stood, smiling his hand extended.  I thought my God, 
here I am in seriously deep shit trying to find a way to tell 
my BF, his folks and my folks this news and this  asshole  is 
smiling as though nothing is wrong. Cheerily he  said,  "Come 
on in please sit down ..." he went to the far end of the desk 
and took his seat and then proceeded to ask me about school & 
all that stuff. I was determined to get to the point and then 
blurted out "What do you want to tell me ?" he smiled on  and 
sort of said,  "Hey,  what's your hurry, heck I have not seen 
you since you left for school ..."  While my mind raced on in 
its tracks a mile a minute. I was desperate for him to get it 
over with so I asked again and his answer stunned me into ... 
total silence he said "Well, your S.C.U.B.A. certificate  has 
come due to expire and you need a physical before I can  once 
again validate it. You will need a Chest X-Ray of course." 

I couldn't move, I was glued to my seat as my mind began to - 
slowly assimilate the data given. My head was reeling and  my 
eyes burning from the sweat that was trickling down my face & 
that is when it happened. I exploded ... I shouted and yelled 
at him, "You mean you called me twice on the phone for this - 
this urgent business, my God I have been your patient here .. 
I mean since as long as I can remember, and you never ever .. 
ever called not just my home .... but chased up my friends .. 
to tell me this ?" .... my language degenerated into language 
that would make a sailor blush,  the expletives  flowed in  a 
torrent with a fluidity and with such retuperative venom that 
he sat staring in incomprehending disbelief, after all he had 
known me since I was knee high to a grasshopper and it was at 
this moment his time to be stunned into total silence  as  he 
sat and stared immobile, I rose and turning stridently strode 
out of his office, still ranting and raving in a rage. 

My mind was really racing in a headlong rush to destruction I 
had been anticipating the worst for two whole weeks  and  was 
all that time preparing for this fateful moment and it had at 
that time still not sunk in fully ...... "Urgent & Emergency" 
racing in my fevered brain. Diving certification ?  Confusion 
and fear turned to unreasoning rage. Instead of being glad in 
that moment or relieved, I could have killed ! What a farce ! 

I must confess that the next day, I went back to his office & 
he initially seemed very nervous when I walke in and then  in  
all honesty I told him the entire saga from begining to end & 
he was truly very gentle and understanding. I was humbled and 
very grateful for one other thing, I had for some time  faced 
the very real dread of what it must be like to tell those you 
love that you have the dreaded HIV + virus.  I learned a very 
great deal from that trick of fate, and I must  confess  that 
I really do Not know how I would have coped if I had to go to 
all those I loved, especially that boy who had loved  me  and 
had to tell him to get tested for HIV. To those whom have had 
to utter those words to their partners and the ones they love 
They have one hell of a lot more courage than I ever shall at 
least I learned I hope to understand. Thank you. 

I suppose this story should have a moral in it somewhere, but 
I am not so clever to see what it is. Personally I learned an 
awful lot in a very short time, I confronted my own mortality 
and that I found quite easy, but I do Not think I ever had in 
any moment of my life ever considered just how hard it  would 
be to have to tell the one you loved most and shared with each 
other this particular news. Please go in peace  and  prosper. 
I who have often watched the saga of life  and  death  played 
out in all it many factes had never quite had to face this  & 
I shall make sure that I never  shall.  So  people  consider. 
Cause, I have been there bought the T-Shirt an seen the movie 
*************************** WARNING ************************* 
******* Please Do Remember That This Is Just A Story ******** 
************************** SAFE SEX ************************* 
*** However Is A Necessity, So Do Not Emulate This Story  *** 
********* Please Remember To Have SAFE SEX Always *********** 
******** Don't play Russian Roulette With Your Life ********* 
******* Because You Are A Valuable Asset To Society ********* 
*********** With Love To Give And A Life To Live ************ 
************ So Take Your Time And Live It Fully ************ 
************* See You Around When You Reach 130 ************* 
************************** Yours Truly ********************** 
Byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! 
-- 
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