Date: Mon, 3 Feb 2003 11:39:01 -0800 (PST)
From: Waddie Greywolf <waddiebear@yahoo.com>
Subject: "Booger Red & Cowboy Chapter 15"

DISCLAIMER: WARNING!!  This is a work of homoerotic fictions written by an
adult for the purpose of entertainment for other adults.  If you are not
eighteen year of age or you have any problem with this type of literature
then this is a warning to read no further.  The author will not be held
responsible for any reason if you do.  (Codes: M/M BD/SM Gay Incest Anal
Oral)

Copyright 2003 Waddie Greywolf
 <Mail to: waddiebear@yahoo.com>

==================================================================
BOOGER RED & COWBOY
By Waddie Greywolf


CHAPTER 15

Red finally opened up to me about his condition after we had a marathon
rodeo in our cabin.  Red began to cry as he told me.  I held him and made
love to him to comfort him.

"You knew all ready."  He said quietly. He said it as a statement of fact
rather than a question.

"Yes Master," I paused for a moment, "You know I ain't gonna' lie to you.
I came looking for you, not because I knew anything about it, but because
my Dad, God love him, challenged me to quit feeling sorry for myself.  `Get
your ass on the road, find that old son of a bitch, and set it right with
him. You've got too much time invested in that ugly old man not to make
that effort.  You two are obviously crazy about each other.  Just ease up
on him a little son. You don't have to sell your soul, just lighten up. I
know what he did was a bitch, but one mistake don't make a bad man,
Son. The best of men make mistakes from time to time. Sometimes the hardest
thing about love is learning to forgive.

I've known Red for thirty years or more; I know him to be a good man,
Billy. I never told you, but I owe my life to Red.  That man crawled the
length of a football field under heavy enemy fire and pulled my ass all the
way back to safety when no one else would.  He fell in love with your Uncle
Bud and saved his life too.  I was sent home and he had to stay over there.
That's why I've told you, you could do a lot worse for a Master than old
Booger.  I'd give that man anything he wanted from me including my son to
love."

"Sounds exactly like what Gunn would say. I think the world of your dad,
Son. I love him a lot." Red laughed.  I continued,

"Then I realized, I'd put you through too much.  I was coming to beg you to
reconsider, give me another chance to be your slave, but when I started
asking your whereabouts, I got the news. You can't hold it against our
family, Red.  They love you, but they don't agree with you leaving me out
of the picture. They think we should be together, Master, and I agree with
them.  They love the both of us, Red.

"I don't want you to watch me die, Cowboy.  I love you too much for
that. You're the love of my life, Son.  I loved your dad, I loved your
Uncle Bud, I loved Walker but ain't never loved no man the way I love you,
Cowboy.  I can't imagine doing that to you. I love you too fucking much."
Red started to break down.

"Am I your slave or not, old man?" I asked in a demanding voice.

"Hell, yes, you are.  You know damn well you're my property.  I made that
choice for you, before you went to Nam.  You wanted me to. You gave me the
right to claim you as my property, because you trusted this big, ugly beast
when you first looked into his eyes.  I owned you from that moment on You
gave your word , the deed you gave me was still valid, and being the man
you are you lived up to your commitment and honored it.  I own your ass.
You'll continue to be my slave and serve me until I die.  You belong to me
and no other, and Billy,--I thank God, you do." Red broke down and started
sobbing. He was racked with emotional contradictions.  I held him, tried to
be strong for him but I couldn't keep the tears away.

"Red, I ain't never told you this but I'm going to now.  There's somebody
else that insisted we be together through all this and I agree with him."

"Who's that, Cowboy?" Red asked.

"God." I said quietly.  Red looked at me funny `cause he'd heard me talk in
my sleep to Uncle Bud, and the cowboys.

"You must a' done a lot of good in your life to get his attention.  That
Old Man must love you something fierce `cause he sure dogged my ass to be
with you. He gave us free will to make choices about how we go about our
lives but sometimes he has somebody in mind to do a certain thing and if'n
they don't,--he gets pissed. You think I'm stubborn?  Oouuwee, you ain't
seen stubborn.  He don't take `no' for an answer."

"What are you talking about, Cowboy?"

"When I came back from Nam I was so angry with God, angry he took Buck from
me, angry `cause he took two of the most loving friends I'd ever known, and
if that wasn't enough, he took Uncle Bud.  I was angry with the idea of
ever trying to love anyone again and angry at myself for being angry.  I
was like a snake eating itself.

I couldn't see you right away. There were several reasons but the most
important was, I couldn't give up Buck. Secondly I was angry with you to
hold me to a commitment I made under stress.  I had the biggest rodeo of my
life to compete in, my year with Uncle Bud was coming to an end, and I was
facing being sent to Nam.  I was too young to think about commitments.

I told you in Glen Rose I didn't know what the future held and didn't know
if I could keep my commitment to you.  I told you about Buck when you
visited after boot camp. I told you then I was falling in love with him. I
thought to myself, `Here's a man almost thirty years older than I am.  He's
mature enough to just let it be.  I told my dad I was working up to seeing
you.  Once I went to tell Buck goodbye then you were next.

It was easy to pass off my commitment as the product of an immature,
inexperienced, vulnerable child.  Here was this beast standing before me
who had the greatest, deepest love for me in his eyes that bridged any
difference in our ages.  A magnificent beast knows no age.  I knew that
underneath the hard, battle scared, mean looking outlaw biker beat the
heart of a fine, loving Master.  We were in the same place in the universe,
like two rogue planets, pulled into each other's orbits with such magnetic
pull, I knew I would become a moon to my beast, caught in his pull never to
get away.

You were like a black hole my heart and soul was being drawn into that I
couldn't escape. The pull was to strong. You still do it to me, it's never
stopped.  We can be in a room full of hot looking men, and the only one
there I can see is my beast. I can be talking to someone trying to carry on
an intelligent conversation.  I see you out of my peripheral vision talking
to someone across the room and get a roaring hard-on. I lose all
concentration in my conversation and end up sounding like an idiot.  How
can I tell the person,

"I'm sorry I lost interest in our conversation, you're not boring or
nothing, it's just I got this boner from looking at my Master and my mind
went blank."  Red grabbed me and threw back his head in laughter.

"I'm not laughing at you, Son, `cause I've done the same damn thing.  I
usually, tell `em the truth, have a good laugh, then try to pay more
attention.  Ain't easy when my partner `twene my legs has only one thought
on his tiny brain.  I've had to run to the head several times `cause it was
trying to crawl out the top of my cod piece."  We both laughed.

"When we met that night you saved me from Cal, the comfort of being with
you, knowing in my heart I belonged to you, jogged my memories of my
feelings from Glen Rose.  I fell in love with you again. I had comfortably
rationalized my commitment away never considering what it might mean to my
beast. I thought, well he's an older man, he's played the game many times
and sometime it just doesn't work out.

It never hit me, I never saw it, until you said something to me in Reno
that first week we were back together.  You looked at me with the greatest
hurt I'd ever seen in a man's eyes and asked, `Did you tell Buck, you could
only give him half your love because you were still in love with me?'  Then
you answered your own question, `No? I didn't think so!' and you were
right.

You nailed my ass to the wall with your final statement, `I'm standing here
with a deed in my hand that say's I own your ass, you're my slave, you're
my property. You gave it to me, you gave me your word. Here, you can have
it back, it's worthless.'  I may have forgotten my commitment to my beast,
but God didn't. When you walked into the shower and left me standing with
my mouth open I heard the voice of God, himself.

"Why are you doing this to this man?  Why are you playing this game with
him?  You're his slave.  You were before you left for Nam.  I gave you a
wonderful man to love and help you through the terror.  He loved you so
much, he chose to give his life for you, so you might live and return home,
and for what reason? So you might fulfil your commitment.  Four people will
need you; your dad, Booger Red, Buck's dad but most importantly a giant,
hairy, bear-like man that's a personal friend and faithful servant of
mine. You haven't met him yet, but you will.

I allowed you a summer with Dan Yates to help him recover from his son's
death and for you to lean on him.  I allowed Buck to come to you as you lay
in his dad's arms to tell you, you must keep your commitment to your beast.
Your place isn't in Dan Yates's bed.  He'll be fine.  I'll see to that.

I can't tell you why I want you to be with Booger Red.  You don't need to
know why you have to be with him.  First of all it's none of your business
and secondly it's because it wasn't me what gave him the choice to make the
decision for you to become his property,--it was you.  That alone should be
reason enough.  Keep your commitment to Booger Red.  He's right, he holds
the deed to your soul.  You gave it to him.  By rights, the man owns you.

"But, Sir," I tried to reason with him, "surely you don't hold these slave
contracts men make between themselves as valid and binding.  I was a child
when I made that contract with Red."

"Like hell I don't!  Any contract between two people, verbal or written, is
valid and binding with the original intent of that contract to be honored.
Any manipulation by either party or some stupid word merchant of an
attorney makes the contract instantly nun and void.  You gave your word.
That was as good as if you signed a written contract with your own blood.
If you give your word to a man and don't live up to it then you lied to him
and you're a fraud.  I DON'T LIKE liars, cheats, and frauds.  Didn't Cher
make a record of that?"

"Naw, Sir, that was, "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves."

"Yeah, yeah,--well, whatever.  Men have always had slaves.  That don't mean
I agree with it.  They just have, probably always will.  So, I had to make
provisions for the faith of a good slave.  More damn work for me.  In some
cases it's best for both; damn few cases, but it can be a good thing.
Your's is a case in point.  You need to learn a lesson and you need to
teach Red one.

It's you guys that fuck up the concept of benevolent Master to a loving
slave. It's you that fuck up the contracts.  What do you think my angels
are?  We don't call `em slaves but you could make a case, I suppose.  Look
at it this way, be his slave and you'll be my angel."  (You don't want to
hear the Old Man belly-laugh, Master.)  "I know it's too cute but what the
hey, if I got through your thick head, I've hit a home run.

Now you got a group down there,--call themselves lawyers. Stay the fuck
away from them." (Yes Master, he said, `Stay the fuck away.'") "They'll
fuck up any contract with as much mumbo-jumbo as they can and charge you
out the ass per word.  You're guaranteed to get fucked and never get kissed
in the process. When they finish law school, pass the bar, get their
certificates and diplomas on the wall, be sure to read the fine print at
the bottom of their bar certificate.  It says, `License to steal.'  I'm
gonna' really enjoy seeing those bastards tap dancing in place while trying
to plea bargain their way out of hell.  I have a section `specially
reserved for them.  Can you imagine any greater hell that putting them all
together in one place.

I gave you folks down there free will.  What or how you choose to
accomplish what I set out for you to do, is up to you, but some of you
twist things about so much you make things twice as difficult as they need
to be.  Some of you would fuck up a wet dream.  I gave you those, by the
way; another one of my bon-bons.

You pray to me to direct you in your life, keep you away from harm, show
you the way, then you blame me for every damn thing that doesn't go your
way.  If you don't want me messing with your life say a quick
prayer,--don't have to be elaborate, nothing fancy with a lot of `thees'
and `thous;' just tell me to butt out.  `At's all it takes.  You're on your
own, Brother. You prayed to me to help you be good and help others, well,
I'm doing my best, Son, but ya' gotta' work with me here.

You were angry at me for taking Buck.  Okay, so I took Buck.  I didn't take
him to punish you.  I took Buck because he'd served his time; he did what I
asked of him and more, and he did it with simplicity, grace, dignity and
love.  You witnessed it.  You watched it happen.  He transformed you or I
wouldn't be talking to you now.  You saw him perform miracles because of
his simple faith and yet you remained suspicious.

Buck is my son in whom I am well pleased.  He sent me prayers since he was
a little boy.  He believed in me from the beginning and never stopped.  His
faith never wavered.  Your's, on the other hand, is like a sine wave on an
oscilloscope.  I love Buck and wanted him with me.  That's my right.  I
have the power to do that, you know?

However, I felt like shit taking him from you along with your buddies and
your Uncle Bud at the same time but they let you know big time they haven't
left you.  That's why I've allowed Buck to come to you.  That loving man's
trying to steer you right.  I even told Buck to give you his blessing to be
with Red and he did.  You think that was easy for a man that loves you as
much as Buck does?  He told you, you wouldn't give him up until you gave
yourself to Booger Red.

Look Son, I'm only asking you to keep a commitment, you, yourself, made.
Do I have to kick you in the butt to get you to do what I asked, you
stubborn little twit!  (Yes, Red.  God really called me a `twit.')

"Okay Sir, I will, not because you told me to, but because I love Red and
want to be his slave." I told him.  He groaned and made a sound like he was
smiting somebody with his terrible swift sword.

"I don't give a tinker's dam why you do it nor how you do it, just do it!"
He went away grumbling to himself saying something about, "Sweet Jesus,
where are you when I need you? The kid's good looking, smart, but stubborn
as a Kentucky mule;--gotta' whomp `em up side the head with a two by four
to get his attention. I say,--I say, the boy didn't stay in the egg long
enough."

"Well, he scared the fuck out of me, Master.  Look Red, I ain't never lied
to you.  Ain't gonna' start now. I ain't lying about hearing God's voice
that day.  Later, when you left me, I was home in my bed after sleeping
`round the clock for over a week. Buck came to me and told me God was
gonna' let me know why I wanted us together; to get my ass up and on the
road to look for you. He told me not to hesitate I had to leave that next
morning; your life depended on it.  Took me a full day to get to Reno.  I
had dinner with Ben, Harry, Cal and Steve.

When they told me, I felt like a fool.  I was so damn embarrassed I wanted
to crawl in a hole and pull it in after me. That's why the Old Man wanted
me to be with you and because of my pride I fought him and you.

I was pained by the news, Red.  I immediately ran to the men's room and
threw up. I love you so much, I don't want to lose you.  I've lost too much
in life all ready.  Red, it's gonna' break me in two to lose you but I know
this isn't all there is.  I think the worst part was I didn't trust the Old
Man.  Buck told me I had to swallow my pride and ride with you after we
broke up over T-bo.  I was so fucking confused I didn't know what I wanted.
I wanted more time to think about it than the couple of weeks we were
apart.  God wouldn't let me, Red.  Ask my Dad, ask Walker, or ask Ben and
Harry.  I told them all the same thing.  God wanted me to swallow my pride
and ride with you.

That's why I put you through such shit.  I was angry with you.  I was angry
at God.  I was angry with myself, but your determination made me love you
again.  You took it from me. That's not a complaint, it was your right,
your due as my Master; however, it was the most wonderfully exciting thing
that ever happened to me in my miserable life.  As devastated as I was when
I returned from Nam, I experienced an unimagined physical and spiritual
high with a man that loved me enough to make the choice for me, when I
couldn't, and held me to it buy taking it from me. Lesser men would've
simply walked away and written me off.

That man loved me, and he knew without asking I loved him.  By God and all
that's holy he was going to take it from me because it was not only his
due; after all, he did own me; it was because down deep inside he knew I
wanted him to prove his love for me by taking it.  And he did, over and
over again.  His slave couldn't get enough.

Then something very strange happened.  All the shit, rough games, name
calling, fighting, became a suit of armor the man pealed away a piece at a
time until my soul stood bare, naked, exposed before him as I am now, to
tell him, I have no more defenses; I have no more fears; I have no other
thought or greater need in life but to serve the wonderful, magnificent
beast that sits beside me.

There's no longer a you and me, there's only you.  I have become you, not
us, not we, but you.  My soul is at peace.  It's what I wanted all along
and would never admit to myself.  I don't want to be anyone else but you.
When I think of myself now I'm beginning to think of myself as you, as much
as an eye or your right hand or, yes, even that monster that dwells between
my Master's thighs.  I am even the waste that passes from your body.

I have become that magnificent beast that looked into my eyes that night in
Glen Rose and told me if I allowed him to make that choice for me I would
want no other.  There was no other bold enough nor strong enough to make
that choice for me.

`Be forewarned, man-child, I'm a hungry beast, needing to feast on what
only you can bring to my table. Give me that choice, if you dare, Young
One, and I will surely consume you with my love; the greatest love you'll
ever witness.  Oh, what a feast it will be.  You'll take as much joy in
being consumed as I will consuming you.  There will not be an iota of you
left.  Have no fear, Little One, you will not perish, for when I have
finished my meal, you'll be where you've always dreamed of being.  You'll
find the peace you're looking for.  You'll be warm inside me, nourishing
both of us, but living through me.  No longer you, but me and that joining
will bring us peace and comfort for the rest of our days together.'

The beast was right.  I've been consumed. I am you, Red.  I am no other.  I
want to be no other.  I will be an extension of you until you release me
and I pray you never do.  Not being with you is not an option, Master, as
I've just explained.  Much greater forces than you and I are involved here.
I'll be here, by your side, `til the end, Master.  If you can believe even
a portion of what I told you then you'll realize I have to be there because
I am you.  I belong to you, Master as surely as your right hand."  I said
in a broken voice.

"You know, it's not like we'll have to face it alone. We have family to see
us through.  Buck told me the Old Man would sent us two more immediate
family members to help us. They're suppose to have the same name's me.  I
don't know how he's gonna' pull that one off but I have to trust him,
Master.

I can't imagine you not having me by your side. I can't imagine a morning
without you waking next to me and I can't imagine not being your slave or
being unable to serve you another day until God calls you home.  In short,
I love you, my beast.  I could do worse than to be the slave of such a
magnificent beast."  I was finished.  I couldn't go on.

I threw my arms around him, held him close and let it all out.  I couldn't
be strong anymore.

"I love you, Cowboy." Red growled softly as he too began to sob in my arms.

"Then let's go. Let's do it. I ain't gonna' let you sit around waiting to
die.  We have enough money to go anywhere, do anything we want and even if
we didn't, Ben would see to it that we did. Is there anything you've really
wanted to do and never got the chance."

"Yeah, I've always wanted to tour our country on a bike.  I've never been
east of Dallas, Texas and never in the northen states.  Let's go, Cowboy.
Tour as much as we can, see as much as we can, meet as many people as we
can, help when we can, and love as much as we can, until I start showing
signs.  I couldn't imagine anything I'd rather do nor anyone I'd rather do
it with."

"Of course, Master, I've never seen our country either.  Sounds like a
great idea to me.  Let's leave tomorrow.  Let's not waste a day, Red.
Let's cram as much living and love into the time we have left. When it
comes time to say goodbye we can smile at each other and know we shared
something special that few people ever do."

"That's your Master's decision, slave."  Red said with resignation.

"I'll be only too happy, honored and damn proud to obey that order,
Master."

"I love you, Billy."

"I love you too, Red. I always will." I said softly, "Master would you
consider starting from Los Angeles?" I asked quietly.

"What'd ju have in mind, Youngster?"  Red asked. He was sitting on the bed
and I kneeled before him and took his hand in mine.

"Master, would you consider honoring me by allowing me to give myself to
you, to be your slave, to be owned by you as your personal property, for
the rest of our lives together, in a ceremony before our family.  It would
mean a lot to your slave, Sir."  The big man spread his legs, pulled me to
him, held me for the longest time with my head against his chest before he
answered.

"I'd be the one honored, slave."  he said quietly, "We'll leave today.
I'll call ahead and ask our clan Master to make the arrangements.  A small,
quiet, simple ceremony for Sunday afternoon." my Master said then he looked
at me and grinned.

"Yeah! Sure, Master.  I'd like to see you pull that one off.  The term
`quiet ceremony' and `our family' can't be used in the same sentence.  Do
you think for a minute our family is gonna' let us get by without a blow
out party? Quiet ceremony with our family? Especially with Master Beryl
making the arrangements.  He'll call Barnum and Bailey to see if'n he can
book `em.  One call to Ben and Harry and he's got carte blanche."

"That's about right."  my Master laughed, "God, I love that old man."

"Me, too." I allowed. It felt good to laugh.  We didn't need anymore tears.

Red and I left the Russian River area and headed South toward the valley of
smoke.  Red called Master Beryl who was staying with Master Zack and part
time on Mt. Washington with Big Jim and Master Jeb. He was beside himself
with joy.  He yelled, hooped and hollered.  It was a Wednesday and we
figured if we stopped over night we could roll into Master Jeb's and Jim's
around Thursday afternoon late or at the latest, Friday morning.  Red and I
always made good time.  If'n you want to ride with Booger Red you learn to
keep up.  That man could ride a bike like a bat out of hell.

It was a fast but leisurely trip to the Southland. The glow of our love
lifted Red's spirits.  He wasn't thinking about the end.  He was thinking
about us. We stopped several times for gas or food.  Once in a while for a
brew.  `Course I never get to drink beer.  Uncle Bud was right when he told
me about being Booger's slave. One of the first things Red taught me when
we went drinking was, I was only allowed `Booger Beer.'  That was that.
After three years, I feel cheated if I don't get two or three bottles.  I
never did mind it, but hell, I got to where I enjoyed it.

Sometimes he'd offer me a sip of his beer and I'd take it.  I'd make a face
and he'd laugh. I never developed a taste for beer.  I sure did for `Booger
beer.'  Once in a while, on a hot afternoon he'd ask me if I wanted a real
beer.  I'd take it `cause it seemed to be what he wanted me to do.  I'd
finish it and sort of play with the empty bottle.

"Want another beer, slave?"  he'd growl at me.

"Oh, no thanks, Master, that's enough for me."  I'd continue to play with
my empty bottle.

"Gimme' that damn thing and go get me another beer."  he'd smile knowingly.
When I'd get back to the table with his beer, I'd find a full bottle
waiting for me.  `Booger beer,' a damn good brew.  The only beer for a
Master's slave.

"Don't know why you don't just ask for it."  he'd smile proudly.

"I've always enjoyed your `beer' but somehow it tastes better when you
decide I should be honored with a bottle. It reminds me of who I am and how
much your control means to me.  Makes me old dick hard, too. I've even come
up with a catchy slogan when we bottle it and put it on the market; `Booger
Beer,' a good stout brew.  The only beer for a Master's slave,...and you."
Red threw his head back and roared with laughter in his gravely voice.

"And, you don't think it excites me to see you enjoy my `beer'?"  he moved
his leg aside where I could see his cod piece and I could see the head
winking at me from the top.  It was my turn to laugh.

We'd go into a bar and he'd give me money to buy two beers.  I'd hold a
cold one `til my Master finished his then he'd smile real big, wink, and
disappear into the head.  He was so thoughtful.  He'd fill it almost to the
top every time.  Since we'd torn down all the barriers, I broke down and
told Red how much I loved drinking his recycled beer.  He'd smile and beam
with pride at me.

"I know."  he said, as a knowing smile spread across his face.  Red made no
effort to mask his cocksure, smug, self satisfied attitude. I loved it.
That particular attitude of his turned me on like a raging hormone.  I
became so use to the taste of his piss it spoiled me.  I've taken others
but none have the strength and flavor of my Master's.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *


We reached Bakersfield and cruised through town.  Red spied a couple of
bikes at a bar on the outskirts of town and motioned for us to stop.  We
pulled up, locked the bikes and went into the dark bar.  I went to the bar
and bought our usual two beers.  We sat at a dark table near the pool table
and juke box.  Our eyes adjusted to the light and at another table sat two
of the meanest, scruffy, good looking bikers I'd seen in a long time.  Red
leaned over to me.

"Your ass made quite an impression on them two ole boys, Cowboy. `Specially
the young one." my Master spoke quietly to me.

"Can't say's I ain't flattered, Master.  Are they as mean looking to you as
they are to me?"

"Yeah.  They's ain't to shabby look'n neither.  It's been my experience,
the meaner they look the harder they like to get fucked."  I almost fell
off my chair laughing.  Red didn't crack a joke too often but when he did
it exposed the bone.

"Well, from my experience, Master, you're just the man that could fuck the
meanness out a' that young one. I could fantasize about that older one
taking care of my meanness; no disrespect, Sir."

"None taken, Son.  Seeing as how I'm a' think'n I might like to watch that
happen."

"There's something about them that's familiar.  Have we run into them
before." I asked my Master.

"I ain't never seen `em before, Son."  allowed Red.

"Oh, well, probably my imagination."

About that time the younger of the two got up and headed for the pool
table. He looked to be about my age.  He walked like the men back in Texas
walk with his hips thrown forward and slinging his boots in an exaggerated
swagger.  He almost walked like a buckaroo but not quite. It was sexy
though and he knew it.  Come to think of it, I remembered where I'd seen
that walk before.  My dad walks that way.  The kid slammed his quarter into
the table, the balls dropped, and he began to rack them on the table.

"You shoot pool, Mister?"  he looked right at me.  I looked at Red and he
nodded.

"I do, I ain't real good but I ain't no beginner, neither." I replied and
octave lower than my normal voice.  Red giggled.  The kid laughed at my
response.

"Wanna' play? I ain't real good, neither."  he allowed.

"I'd like to but you'll have to ask my Master."  Red wouldn't have cared.
I knew I didn't have to ask his permission.  All I had to do was look at
him and he would've nodded `yea' or `nay.'  Red knew what I was up to and
kinda smiled at me.  I wanted a reaction.  The kid kinda got a sneer on his
mean looking face and I thought he was gonna' say something snide; instead,
his face broke into a broad smile, he walked over to the table and stuck
out his hand to Red.

"Name's Sonny, Master Red."  Red took his hand and shot a puzzled look at
me.

"Nice to meet you, Son.  Uuuh, how'd ju' know my name?"

"Easy, Sir.  Anyone with a beard and `stach's red as your's, gotta' be
called Red."  We laughed. "Sorry I didn't ask you first, Master Red.
Didn't mean to be rude nor disrespectful, Sir.  Sometimes it's hard to tell
what bikers are all about when you first run into `em.  I'd be pleased and
honored if you'd allow your handsome slave to shoot pool with me, Sir.  By
the way, that mean looking, handsome, big dude over there,--well, he's my
old man; my dad; name's Boots."  I could see Sonny was younger than the
other one but they looked like brothers. Sonny motioned for Boots to join
us.

"Dad, come on over and meet these gentlemen."  The big one lumbered over.
I thought the young one had a sexy walk.  Holy graham crackers!  That big
man could have put every pair of boots he owned under my bunk.  Woah!  His
boots were clean and shined to a mirror finish. Made me wonder if the kid
took care of his old man's boots.  I somehow felt it was a safe bet.

Boots was as big as my dad and damned if he didn't look a lot like my dad
in the dark bar.  I'd bet the ranch he had a comfortable appendage between
his legs.  He stuck out his hand and Red shook it.

"Good to meet you, Master Red."  Boots said in a deep baritone voice.  In a
dark room I would swear it was Sam Elliot talking.

"Good to meet you, too, Son."  said Red, "I'm Booger Red and this, here,
Young'un's my slave, Cowboy."  Both men shook my hand.  The big one looked
me in the eye and lingered for a minute like he'd met me somewhere before.
My dad looks at me the same damn way.  It sent shivers up my back.

"You have an uncommonly handsome young man-slave, Master Red." he said
quietly looking deep in my eyes as he said it.

"Thanks, Boots.  Just call me Red.  I think he's kind a' pretty.  Don't
much think about that no more.  He's been my slave for sometime now.  It's
what's inside him makes me want to keep him by my side. He's a good boy, a
fine slave, and he takes good care of his Master."  Red turned his
attention to Sonny, "It's fine with me, Son, if my boy wants to shoot pool
with you."

"Thanks, Master Red, `preciate it."  said Sonny.  I got up to get a pool
cue.  Since it was his quarter he was getting ready to break.  He make a
good break and we started playing.  He was pretty good but I was better.
Red was talking quietly with Boots.  I wondered what they were talking
about because Boots kept looking at me.  The weirdest thing was the two men
kept reminding me of my dad.  The younger one could've been my dad's
brother from pictures I'd seen of him as a young man.  The older one looked
a hell of a lot like my old man.  Sonny and I played a couple of games.  I
won the first and he won the second.

Red finished his first beer and excused himself to go to the head. They saw
him take the empty bottle with him.  Sonny smiled knowingly and winked at
me. When Red returned the bottle was full. The bartender had his back to us
talking to some broad at the end of the bar.  They weren't paying any
attention to us.  Red sat it where mine was, took the cold one and poured a
little into his small glass. He didn't say a word to Boots.  Boots got a
big grin on his face curious to see what I'd do.  I walked over, touched
Red on his shoulder.

"Thanks, Master, I can use this about now." I said quietly but sincerely.
I took the bottle and chug-a-lugged about half of it.  Then, I made a small
to do about how good it was and wiped my mouth on my arm.

"Good and strong, like my Master.  Thanks, Sir.  Just the way I like it.
They don't make a better beer, Master."  I turned and walked back to the
pool table with my `Booger beer.'  I no sooner sat it down than Sonny
jumped me.

"Can I have a taste, Cowboy?"  he asked.  I knew the kid saw Red take the
empty bottle into the head and come out with a full one. I also watched
Sonny's sizable dick get rock hard in his levis.

"Be happy to share with you, Sonny, but do you,--?"

"Of course I do."  he said as he held out his hand.  I handed him my bottle
of `Booger beer' and he took two big swallows of it.

"Damn, you're right, Cowboy.  Ain't never tasted no beer better'n that." my
Master heard him and turned to me and smiled.

"You're a lucky slave to have such a fine animal like, Master Red, allow
you drink his `beer.'  Think he'd buy me one of them beers the next time he
buys you one?"  Sonny leaned in to me and spoke quietly.

He kind of stunned me.  Sonny was the first man I ever met to immediately
grasp who and what my Master was all about.  He had no problem with the
dichotomy of our looks or age. With the understated eloquence of two words,
`fine animal,' he complemented me, my Master and let me know he understood
without a doubt why I'd be riding by his side.  It pleased me that he
looked upon our relationship as all togther my good fortune

"I'm sure he'd be pleased to.  You don't have to be obsequious with him. My
Master appreciates a slave who is direct, well mannered and respectful.  If
you ask him to consider your request in that manner, you can get anything
out of him." I responded.

"Anything?"  he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Yep, that, too."  I assured him.  Sonny howled with laughter.  I took the
last swig of my Master's `beer' and took the bottle back over and sat it
next to Red.  Sonny followed me over with half a bottle of beer and sat it
next to mine.

"Master Red, I would consider it a great honor, Sir, if you'd consider
allowing me to enjoy the same brand of beer Cowboy's drinking.  He was
generous enough to let me taste his and I found it quite to my liking,
Sir."

"Well done, Son.  I'm impressed with the sincerity of your request. Be
right proud to get you a `Booger beer,' but you have half a beer left."

"Well, Sir, either you may have it or my dad, or just pour it out in there.
Ain't about to fill up on beer if'n I can drink some'um good as your
`beer,' Sir."  Red smiled and nodded.  He shared the rest of Sonny's beer
with Boots.

"Dad," Sonny continued, "you ready, can I get you another beer?  How `bout
you Master Red?  Be proud and honored to buy you a beer.  It's the least I
can do, Sir."  I think my Master fell in love. I could tell Sonny impressed
him. The two men nodded and Sonny scurried off to buy two more beers.  He
brought them back, they thanked him and went on with their conversation.
Sonny joined me again.

"You all right with this, Boots?"  Red asked the big man.

"Oh, yeah! He's his own man.  I don't judge nor criticize him. He's just
Sonny.  He don't meet many Masters that he'd ask that of. It has to be a
real special type man to get him that turned on. He begs me for mine `til
he drives me nuts.  If you guys hadn't showed up I was about to give him
some.  I usually let him have a couple of bottles when were out. It don't
hurt him none.  He loves it; likes it better'n beer.  Hell, it's cheaper
for me.  He'd drink my piss all evening if I'd let him.  Sometimes, if he's
been good I fill him up.

There's a couple of bikers we ride with from time to time that know's he
likes it.  They're fond of him `cause I let him suck `em off once in a
while.  They're mean son's of bitches but they're good to him, treat him
well, and are protective of him.  They don't put him down, make fun of `em,
nor talk about him behind his back.  They treat him like a little brother.

For all the shit they're into they don't judge nobody; they figure, if he
wants it, let him have it.  Hell, it ain't no skin off their noses.  Ain't
hurtin' nobody and the way them old boys drink they got plenty. I know they
get a sexual kick out of watching him enjoy their piss.  The whole time
their drinking with us they both keep a hard-on.

Sonny swears the uglier, meaner looking of the two plays like he's drunker
than he really is, picks up Sonny's bottle `by mistake' and chug-a-lugs his
buddy's piss without making a face, hands Sonny his cold bottle and winks
at him.  Most time they keep him pretty filled when they're around. He goes
around looking like he was pregnant and he sloshes a lot when he walks."
The two men laughed.

"He's really attracted to you, Red.  He's not trying to come on to you or
nothing, it's just his way of complimenting you.  He has a strict code he
lives by.  If a Master has a slave he never tries to move in on their
territory.  He may make a friend of the slave or both but he won't intrude
on their relationship.  He won't even have a three way with them. If he
finds out a Master lied to him and has a slave he won't have nothing more
to do with him.

He also thinks your slave is about the most handsome man he's ever seen. I
have to go along with my boy on that one, Red.  Ain't never seen a man's
good looking as him. Sonny `bout pissed his pants when you guys walked in.
I laughed at him `til I got a real good look at Cowboy.  Hell, I guess I
did think he was pretty good looking, can't seem to get `me' old dick to
stop dripping."  They laughed again.

"Is Sonny really your son, Boots."

"`Fraid so, Red.  I got his momma pregnant when she was riding with me. She
was my old lady.  I thought I'd taken all precautions.  She had me hooked.
I never married her.  She talked me into selling my bike.  You know the
story.  She cut off my nuts then cut off my `go.'  I couldn't jump on my
horse and ride away.  I got a nine to fiver, settle down to have this kid.
I thought I'd give it a shot, try being a good old man for her and the kid.
Worked hard at it, too.

Everything would've been all right except she couldn't lay off the
drugs. I'm surprised the kid's brain wasn't damaged she did so much shit
while carrying him.  She was so wasted when I took her to delivery, she
didn't even want to see him after she had him.  Didn't want to hold
him. Nothing.  Told the nurse to get him away from her.  She weren't gonna'
nurse the little bastard.  The nurse told me it was important for a baby to
be held right after birth to bond properly with his parents.  I didn't know
nothing about it.

I took him in my arms.  I never held a baby before, Red.  Took one look at
his pretty little face and fell in love with him.  It was all over but the
shout'n.  He had my heart and I knew I couldn't get it back.

He was the best baby.  He rarely cried even when he messed himself.  I had
to check him regularly to see if he needed changing.  She wasn't even
interested in naming him.  Since I hadn't married her she took a shot at
me,

"Name the little bastard anything you want.  Call him `Dumbo' for all I
care."

I didn't marry her but my name's on his birth certificate.  So, I named him
after me and my dad.

"That why you go by Boots and Sonny?"  Red reasoned.

"Yes, Sir.  Two men with the same name gets kinda confusing.  Ever since I
got custody of him and he started riding with me everyone's called him
Sonny.  `Cause he's my son, I guess.  I got the nickname, Boots, `cause
Sonny was all the time keeping my old boots shined and polished.  Always
had the cleanest pair of boots in camp.  Funny, I never asked the kid to do
it.

One day when he was seven or eight, I made a comment about my old boots
being dirty.  I went in our tent to take an afternoon nap, took my boots
off to be comfortable and sat `em outside by the door under a little awning
on the front.  When I woke up and went to put my boots on they were cleaned
and shined.  I couldn't believe it.  I ask Sonny if he'd done it and he
said `yes.'  He didn't want his dad wearing dirty boots.  Been taking care
of his old man's boots ever since."  he put one out for Red to see.

"Don't mean to pry, Boots, but what happened to your old lady, Sonny's
mother?"

"Ahh, hell, she spent every penny I made as a bike mechanic on drugs. After
the kid was born she wouldn't buy food for him, she spent it all on drugs.
I didn't know but the kid was starving to death.  He never cried or
nothing.  I picked him up one afternoon and he couldn't even hold his
little head up.

I just assumed she knew what she was doing and taking care of him. Hell, I
was a new father, I didn't know shit about babies.  That afternoon, she was
wasted as usual so I grabbed him up and took him to the local clinic where
an old doctor that had taken care of me as a kid worked part time.  He took
one look at Sonny and told me he was starving to death and asked me if we
were feeding him.  I told him I worked all day and I thought she was taking
care of him.  Well, she wasn't. If he got fed, I had to do it after coming
home from work.

I couldn't work all day, deal with her and take care of him, too. He had
bad diaper rash `cause he'd lain too long in his own waste.  He'd sometimes
lay there all day until I got home to change him and feed him.  She'd be
passed out. The poor little thing would be so happy to see me he'd just
smile, laugh, hold on to my finger like he didn't want to let go.  I was
all he had and I wasn't going to let him down.

I finally had enough.  The neighbor lady was a wonderful older lady.  Her
husband had passed away several year before.  She called to me in the
backyard.  She wasn't a gossip, but she thought I ought to know my old lady
was turning tricks while I was at work. Didn't surprise me none.  I didn't
much care except I cut off the money.  She pitched a bitch and reported me
to the welfare people and the cops. Thank God the lady next door and the
doctor came to my rescue and told them what she'd been doing.  I kicked her
ass out.

She thought she was gonna' get back at me by taking Sonny with her.  What
she didn't know was the welfare people and cops had gone to bat for me and
a judge awarded me custody before I kicked her out. The lady next door knew
what I was going through and offered to take care of Sonny in the day time
while I worked. She told me she had nothing to do all day since her husband
died and taking care of Sonny would help her as well as me.

She didn't charge me nothing `til I got my life together.  She was a true
angel, a God send and I paid her for several years to watch him while I
worked.  She passed away not long ago and it broke Sonny and my hearts.  He
call her `Gamma' his whole life.  She's the only mother Sonny remembers.

Within a week, my ole lady had hooked up with some scooter trash that was
deal'n and she ran away with him.  He made enough money deal'n he could
afford to keep her in drugs.  Good for him.  Let him do it.  I sure as hell
didn't make that kind of money.  I didn't suffer no twinge when I saw them
ride away. Within a month they'd robbed a liquor store in Fresno. She and
her new old man shot two men.  One died.  They got caught and she's doing
thirty to life in the pen.  She would've gotten more but they couldn't
prove who pulled the trigger.  I ain't never told Sonny his mother's in the
pen.  She didn't care nothing about him anyway.  I told him she died in a
bad bike accident.

I couldn't see taking him to a prison year in and year out so's he could
visit his momma and have the stupid bitch try'n tell me how to raise him. I
never got another old lady.  Hell, he took up all my time.  `Sides what
broad's gonna' ride with a scoot bum what's got a kid clinging to him. I
sometimes got a piece of ass `cause some broad thought he was cute. After
the cute wore off, goodbye piece of ass."  Boots laughed.

It wasn't easy but we did all right; we got by.  I started living for
him. He became my life.  Didn't go no where.  I couldn't date.  We didn't
have much but we were happy.  I'd come home from work every day and he'd
toddle to my arms, hug me and kiss me, tell me he loved me and how much he
missed me.  Any bad thoughts of being trapped or a slave to him flew out
the window.  It's those moments, those brief fleeting moments that make it
all worth while."

"Would you do it again, if you had a choice?"  Red asked him.

"Would I do it again?"  Boots face broke into a big grin, "Bet your
Master's ass I would.  I'd probably be in jail, prison or dead by now if it
weren't for Sonny.  You tend to keep your nose clean when you got a kid to
take care of."  Boots looked down into his glass of beer for a minute
thinking, then continued, "It wasn't like it was an awful chore.  Granted,
it was a big responsibility, but as time went by we got into a
routine. Time passed quickly and the more we grew together the easier it
got `til today I can read his mind.  I know exactly what he's thinking this
minute."

"What's he thinkin,' Boots?" Red asked amused at Boots, thinking he
probably would know.

"The way he's looking at Cowboy's ass right now; he don't know nobody's
looking; he's wondering how far up Cowboy's hole he could get his tongue."
all off a sudden Sonny looked across to the table to see his dad and Red
looking right at him.  The poor kid blushed.  To the men's amusement Sonny
grabbed his crotch, got a look of pain on his face, licked his lips as he
looked at my butt bending over the pool table.  Red and Boots fell out
laughing and I didn't have a clue what was so funny.  Red told me later.

"You made your point, Son."  allowed Red, "Good one too!"  Red laughed
again, "Please, go on with your story..."

"Here I was, a single scoot bum trying to raise a kid by himself.  What was
I thinking?  I should've had my head examined.  All these years I've beaten
myself up thinking maybe the best thing would've been to give him up for
adoption to a family that could have given him more than me."

"Don't know you well enough, Boots, but from what little I know so far and
observed about Sonny, that's bull shit, clap-trap, and hog wash.  Sorry to
be so strong in my opinion but Sonny got everything he needed from you, and
it's the only thing a kid really needs.  You know what it is without me
saying it.  He got love from you, Son.  Love's different coming from
someone that's not a blood to blood parent.  Believe me I know first
hand. I was in and out of foster homes `til my big brother took me and my
sister to live with him.  He raised us."

"Thanks, Red, I hope you're right.  At least I'd like to think you are and
I hope I did the right thing by raising him myself.  I don't know what made
me do it other than I couldn't stop thinking how I'd always wanted my dad
for a friend and buddy.  He was a cold, heartless son of a bitch. Distant,
always had a wall up.  I can count on one hand the number of times he ever
expressed joy in anything I did.  Never hugged me.  Certainly never kissed
me.  Never told me I was a good boy or even a bad boy.

I use to do things to piss him off just to get his attention.  I loved him,
why couldn't he love me?  What had I done so bad the man couldn't show me a
little affection from time to time. Damnedest thing is,--I still love the
old bastard today.  We never shared love the way I knew it could be between
a father and son.

It wasn't a sexual thing, Red; although, I'll admit, if that's what it
would've taken to get him to show me love, I would've gladly done it.  I
ain't never gone down on a man in my life, Red.  Don't mean I ain't never
thought about it, but I'd a' sucked my old man off in a minute if I could
just once hear him tell me he loved me."

"You're not alone in those feeling, Son.  A lot of men feel that way about
their dads." Red consoled him.

"I swore and be' damned if I ever had a kid I'd know how to love him
because my dad didn't show me no love.  I'd show the kid all the love I
didn't get. I've tried to do that with Sonny.

Sonny and I moved down to the other end of the block.  I rented a small one
bedroom apartment from these two gay men who brought their bikes to the
shop for repair.  I liked them, tried to be fair and straight with `em and
sometimes gave `em a break if I could.  They wanted me'n Sonny to live
there to watch their place while they were off somewhere on their bikes.

It was on the alley on the back of their garage. They gave me a break on
the rent.  Less than half what I was paying for that dump we were living
in. They're nice guys.  I rode with `em and we're still friends today.
Sonny and me are staying at their motel they bought.  Anyway, one was
retired and the other was a small time contractor.

The neighbor lady continued to take care of Sonny until she began to get
sick and couldn't no more.  I almost went nuts trying to figure out what I
was gonna' do.  I even considered a foster home `til I could make other
arrangements.

I didn't know Bob and Larry all that well at the time but they knew
something was bothering me.  Finally, they confronted me and asked. I told
them I didn't know what I was gonna' do.  They told me, no problem, one or
the other would look out for him while I was at work.  He wasn't in diapers
anymore.  He was pretty well house broken by that time."  The two men
laughed at Boots' joke.

"Larry took care of him most of the time.  He was retired and liked having
Sonny around.  Sonny was never the kind of kid that got on your nerves. He
entertained himself most of the time. Bob was a small time contractor and
the few times that Larry couldn't take care of Sonny, Bob would take him to
work with him.  He'd find a safe place to put Sonny and he'd play there
until Bob came to have lunch with him or take him home.

He was always happy to have somebody show him attention, play with him but
he didn't beg for it or try to suck it out of you like I've seen other kids
do.  He was happy to crawl up in your lap and listen when the grown ups
were talking.  Bob and Larry think the world of him today.  They consider
him the son they never had and are all the time buying him shit.

When he was five I bought my first new bike. Saved my money and paid cash
for it.  I worked on `em all day but didn't own one.  `Course the bitch
made me sell mine. With a new bike under me,--well, you know how that
goes,--road fever.  I knew I had to hit the road.

I didn't know if Sonny was going to adapt to life on the road but I had to
try.  If not I always had Bob and Larry to fall back on.  We'd grown close
during those five years.  They kept our place un-rented for almost a year
to see if we might need to come back.  Finally they rented it again.  They
hated the couple that rented it, kicked them out and left it vacant.
They'd let me and Sonny stay there every time we came back to Bakersfield.

When Sonny was younger, we didn't stay out too long.  We'd circle back to
Bob and Larry's and I'd go back to work at the bike shop for a while.  They
were always happy to have me back.  Bob and Larry treated us like long lost
relations every time we came back.  So you can see why we've become
attached to them.  They're like family to us.

Sonny rode in front of me until he was old enough to hold on behind. From
the beginning he was a good little buddy rider.  I tried not to keep him on
the bike too long at first.  As he got more use to it, he began to love it;
we'd ride for miles and he'd never cry nor complain.

I made this big safety harness that went around him, and a wide kidney belt
for me with `D' rings on each side to hook-snap his harness to.  We'd get
harnessed together and off we'd go.  He'd get sleepy, lean back against me
and drift off to sleep.  A warm evening, open road, not a car for miles,
blue sky, fluffy clouds, not a care in the world, the sound of my bike
purring under me, my boy asleep against my chest,--don't get much better'n
that, Red.

You may not believe this, but in all these years, I never had to raise a
hand to that kid; never had to spank him or nothing.  Chewed his ass out a
couple of times for something he shouldn't have done but he never did it
again. It weren't nothing real bad neither.

He's always been a good kid and even as young as he was he tried to please
and take care of me. It weren't that much of a problem raising the little
shit, he never was a burden.  Hell, we had us some damn good times
together.  He was my little buddy.  There's nobody on this Earth that can
get me laughing quicker than that kid.  He can come up with some of the
damndest shit.  When I'm at my lowest, he knows, and in fifteen minutes can
have me rolling on the floor laughing with him.

Bringing him up in the world of scoot bums wasn't easy.  He didn't go to
school `cause if we'd a' stopped long enough in one place to put him in
school they'd a' come and taken him away from me.  I taught him to read and
write.  Hell, one saddle bag was always filled with his little story books
and readers.  Taught him enough basic math to get him through life. He
knows his multiplication tables backward and forward through the twelves.

I even taught him his `a fix'n to's.'  You know, I'm a' fix'n to, you're a'
fix'n to, he's a' fix'n to." Boots smiled at Red.  Red caught on. Boots was
pulling his leg.  He started laughing and so did Boots.  "I taught him to
write, too.  Not using scoot bum speak neither.  I bought a simple basic
English book at a thrift store and learned with him. Gave myself as much or
more education than I got in school.

It's one thing to have to go to school and gag it down, it's a whole
`nother ball game trying to teach it to a little one. A lot of times the
kid learned it better'n me.  He'd correct me, then I'd have to relearn it
to save face.  Damned if you don't remember it then.  I can speak proper
when necessary but most times when you're with friends or scoot people you
don't feel like being proper.

Sonny got sick one time and we had to stay in one place for several weeks.
We got caught in a situation and them damn do gooder social services people
were gonna' try'n take him away from me `cause he was truant.  California
has a law say's a parent can teach their kids at home if they want. I told
them I was his teacher and the bike was our home. They didn't believe
me. They weren't gonna' go for that.  The judge was a good man.  He could
see the love that passed between Sonny and I.  He ordered them to test him.

I wasn't for it `cause Sonny never took a test in his life.  I didn't know
how he'd do.  I knew he'd learned a lot.  The truth was we both learned a
lot and I knew what he knew.  Still I was worried.  It taught me a lesson I
never forgot.  Have more faith in my kid.  Sonny made almost a perfect
score.  He missed one question, and knew more than ninety percent of the
kids his age level.

The Social Service people were pissed.  The judge laughed `em out of court,
congratulated me and Boots and sent us on our way.  We met the judge later.
He was on a bike run. He was a weekend biker and a nice man.  He was glad
to see us.  Told Sonny and I he was thrilled when the test scores came back
and Sonny had aced them.  He told Sonny he was damn proud of him and me as
well.  I figure he's got a pretty good education in people, too.

He never wandered off like most kids do.  He stuck pretty close to me,
unless someone was sitting for me so's I could have a date;--which didn't
happen a lot.  You know how you see kids in a store with a parent and it's
buy me this, Mom, or buy me that.  They scream for candy and soda pop;
always hounding their parents for everything they see. Sonny never asked me
for nothing and was always surprised and happy when I went out of my way to
do something for him.

I tried to give him as much love as I could.  Every time I thought about my
old man, I'd grab him up, kiss him, hug him, tell him what a good boy he
was, I was proud of him, and I loved him.  Still do every now and then.

"Since the Marines I ain't never wore underwear and I never taught him to.
Hell, it was just something extra a biker don't need. I never let anyone
make him ashamed of his body.  He'd run around camp naked as a jay bird.  I
never tried to hide myself from him either.  We sometimes laid in the tent
while he read to me.  We wouldn't have no clothes on.  He'd be propped up
against my belly with me reading over his shoulder to make sure he was
gettin' it right.

We were as comfortable as could be.  If he wanted to feel me I didn't stop
him. I didn't tell him it was bad you shouldn't be doing that.  I didn't
know how he was gonna' turn out but I don't think I turned him gay.  He
told me he knew he preferred men from the age of five.  Maybe it's `cause
he didn't have a momma, I don't know. Tell ya' one thing.  Couldn't be
prouder of him if'n he did grow up to like cunt, marry and have fifteen
kids.  He's who he wants to be. He's well adjusted and happy.

One night when he was about twelve years old he thought I was asleep and
started playing with me. When he was smaller he'd sometimes grab hold of my
dick during the night and go back to sleep.  I never pushed him away. He
didn't do it as a sexual thing. If he got scared or something frightened
him, maybe a thunder storm, he'd hold on to my dick for comfort and go back
to sleep.  Sometimes I'd hold him in my arms all night.

When I felt him playing with me it wasn't his usual grab hold for security.
It was different.  I didn't jump up, slap his hands away, yell at him to
stop, and maybe scare him to death.  If he was going to be interested in
men I wasn't gonna' love him any less.  Besides, to be truthful, it felt
pretty damn good.  I hadn't had anybody touch my old dick in so
long,--well, you get the picture.  So I waited to see what he'd do.

It was almost like he'd thought it out before hand, knew what he was doing
and why. Damned if he didn't make some pretty good love to my old dick.
Sonny was a' sucking away, happened to pull the foreskin back and did his
daddy surprise him?  I thought he'd pull away in disgust, spit it out, or
vomit.  He didn't.  Took me like a little trouper.  Then cleaned me up and
rolled over on his side thinking I was still asleep.  I gently pulled him
close to me, kissed him behind the ear, and told him, "Thank's, little
buddy. That was awful nice of you.  You made daddy feel great. Did you
enjoy it?"

"Uuh-huh." was all he said and went to sleep.

I talked to him the next day. He was open and honest about it; he answered
any question I asked.  I asked him if he knew what he'd done, did he
understand it?  Yes, he understood.  He was making my dick feel good so's
I'd shoot that white stuff called `come' and make me feel good.  Did he
feel ashamed of doing it?  No, he was proud he could make his dad feel good
and it made his own pee-pee hard.

What did he think when I shot in his mouth?  He knew I was going to happen
`cause he'd overheard a biker sucking another one off in their tent and the
one getting sucked told the other `Don't ever ask to suck a man's dick and
spit his come out.  It's bad manners.  You just don't do it.  You swallow
it and tell him how good it was whether you liked it or not.  The man said
he'd known men that got themselves killed for doing that.'

I asked him how he knew about `come'?  He told me he played with himself
one night and it felt better'n, better until this white stuff shot out and
made him feel wonderful.

`Don't you remember dad I told you about that white stuff that popped out
of my dick after I'd been playing with it.  You told me it was called
`come,' and it's the stuff that gets a woman pregnant to have a baby.' Who
can remember the fifty questions he asked yesterday, let alone two weeks
ago?

He said he wanted to make me feel that way.  Did he enjoy the experience?
Oh yes.  Best tasting stuff he'd ever had in his mouth; tasted like his
dad; wanted as much as I'd let him have.  After half a dozen times, the kid
got pretty damn good.  He learned real quick, with out me telling him, what
he could do to make me feel really good.  I was getting sexually satisfied
after many years of devoting my life to him and denying myself sex.  I let
him do it because the more I enjoyed it the more he seemed to enjoy doing
it for me.

I didn't let him have it every night. I'd let him do it as a special treat
for both of us; maybe something he did for me, his birthday, my birthday,
holidays, or a Sunday afternoon if we were laying around not doing
anything.  It got to where he wanted to celebrated every damn holiday from
ground hogs day to arbor day. When he insisted on celebrating Cinco de Mayo
and Bastille day I put my foot down."  I heard my Master almost choke on
his beer laughing.  So was Boots.

"Can't say's I didn't have some guilt about whether or not I was doing the
right thing, Red, but I decided to let nature take it's course. I'm not
real sure any more what `the right thing' means.  What's right for one man
may not be right for another. There's all sorts of variables.  My guilt
came from the fact that I enjoyed it and I'd become too weak to put a stop
to it.

I hadn't been with a woman in four or five years so I wasn't as opposed to
it as I might have been if I'd been with a woman at the time.  Once in a
great while, some Master would take pity on me and order his slave to take
me to his tent and give me a blow job.  I always enjoyed getting my dick
sucked.  Didn't matter what sex it was.  A warm mouth's better'n a cold
hand.

I had a feeling, though, if Sonny wasn't getting it from me he might try'n
get it from some dirty, hard nosed, uptight, redneck biker.  If Sonny ask
to suck his dick, the guy might kill him.  I've seen it happen before."

"Unfortunately, Boots, so have I."  Red allowed.

"I told him, as much as I knew, about sex.  When you try to explain it to a
kid you realize how much you don't know.  I'd talk to him about men and
women, men and men, women with women, from the time he was about five or
six, but never tried to make one more preferable than the other.

I kept talking to him about sex from time to time so's he wouldn't learn it
from some kid that would make him think anything he preferred was dirty or
unnatural. If he had any questions he was never afraid to ask, and ask he
did.  My God, that kid would ask me the same damn question fifteen
different ways to make sure he understood something completely.

I had a chance to go with a woman after Sonny had been sucking me off for
about a year or more.  Sonny knew what we were gonna' do. He told me to go
ahead, it was all right with him.  He understood, I needed that `cause I
wasn't like him; but, he wanted me to know how much he loved and
appreciated letting him have what he needed from me.

I got cleaned up, was all ready to go meet this woman, went to tell him
goodbye, hugged and kissed him, told him I'd be back early and left the
tent.  I got all the way to my bike and discovered I forgot my wallet. I
went back to get it, and found my boy with his face in a pillow sobbing his
heart out.  My kid loved his old man enough he wanted him to have what he
needed.  I realized, even though it broke his heart, he would've never said
a word.

I felt like a son of a bitch. I didn't know why at the time.  I do now, but
then I didn't.  I only knew, I couldn't have gone with that woman if the
continuation of the human race was at stake.  I didn't think it would upset
him.  He seemed to encourage me to go with her.  To an adult it could've
been tossed off as a roll in the hay.  To Sonny it was a major rejection
even though he was trying to be grown up and let me go with his blessing.

He provided me with sex and I had been exclusive with him for over two
years.  What was I thinking?  Of course he'd be upset and hurt.  It said to
him, `Well, you're a great kid to get my rocks off but I need more than
you.'  It would've been different if I'd put the kibosh on him sucking me
off at the beginning. I didn't 'cause I was weak. I realized I couldn't do
that to him.  No matter how I loved him or he loved me, we did love each
other and you don't do that to someone you love.

"Well, since were being honest here, I did the same damn thing to that
beautiful man playing pool with your boy.  Worst mistake of my fucking
life, Boots.  Ordered him to go have sex with a good looking guy he'd
befriended.  He begged me not to order him to do it `cause he only wanted
me, his Master.  I forced him to so's I could get my dick in this little
scoot trash that was a true piece of shit.

Cowboy came back to the tent earlier than I expected and found me fucking
him.  Never saw such pain and hurt in a man's eyes in my life, Boots.  I
saw my world crumbling before my eyes.  He gave me another chance.  Told me
he didn't have a choice in the matter, God told him he had to swallow his
pride and ride with me.  I believe him.  You'd have to know more about
Cowboy to know why. So you didn't go with the woman?"

"I sent a buddy to beg off for me, apologize and tell her my kid was sick;
I had to stay with him. I took him in my arms, comforted him, told him not
to cry, and I loved him.  I wasn't upset with him, I just decided not to
go. I guess it was at that moment I discovered I'd fallen in love with my
own son. Ain't never been with a woman since, Red.

"That's quite a story, Boots."


End Chapter 15~
Booger Red & Cowboy
Copyright 2003 Waddie Greywolf
Mail to: <waddiebear@yahoo.com>