Date: Thu, 4 Jun 2009 11:42:33 -0400
From: Jared O'Toole <brycesdadd@gmail.com>
Subject: Bryce's Physical Exam -- The Testicular examination

This reading is intended for entertainment purposes only.  The procedures
described are not intended to replace those of the skilled hands of a
physician

Despite years of urging boys to check their scrotum's monthly for any
abnormalities, recent surveys have found that fewer than 3% actually do.
This is a very serious dilemma because the procedure only takes about
two minutes and need only be done once a month.  Testicular abnormalities
(cysts, tumors --benign and malignant-- are not all that uncommon.  An
estimated 5% of all teens aged 13 to 18 are discovered with some
abnormality.  Testicular Cancer is uncovered at the rate of 20,000 cases per
year in young men aged 15-35.

Rather than rely on voluntary compliance of boys to do this simple
procedure, Bryce's pediatrician suggested that to ensure compliance that I
check him on a regular basis for testicular cancer.    In order to make it
easy to remember, he suggested that on the First Saturday of every month, I
check my son for any abnormalities on his genitalia.  This is how he
suggested I perform the check:

This is best done following his warm shower or bath.  After he has finished,
but before he leaves the confines of the warm bathroom, have him stand
before you.  It may be easier if you can assume a comfortable crouched or
sitting position such as sitting on the toilet.  Have the boy place one foot
on the bathtub wall (should you have a tub) or else have him place one foot
on the toilet, the other on the bathroom floor.  Using your thumb and index
finger  thoroughly  feel each testicle as completely as possible  This is a
highly manipulative procedure and may cause some incidental discomfort and
it might also trigger your boy to erection.  No need to worry about this.
You will feel a number of features inside the scrotum.  The most prominent,
besides the testicle itself is the Epididymis which is a soft, tube like
structure (some say it feels like cooked spaghetti) behind the testicle that
collects sperm.  The other obvious structure you may be able to detect is
the spermatic cord located at the top of the testicle that both suspends and
provides a highway for the blood vessels and spermatic fluid to travel.

Feel around the testicle, epididymis and spermatic cord carefully and
gently.  If you feel anything that obviates itself as a lump or if your boy
displays any pain or discomfort seek professional advice.  It may be nothing
or it could be something that needs to be addressed.  Remember, there is a
layer of skin between your fingers and the organ being felt so you must do
so with a certain amount of conviction so your finger does not overlook
something of concern.

Check the entire surface of the testicle by  touching all sides of the orb.
Some dad's moisten their fingers and/or the scrotum with baby oil to
facilitate the examination of the testicles.

Optionally but recommended, observe the penis.  Look for any signs of sores
or surface blemishes.  While these may be nothing more than evidence of
excessive masturbation, they may be evidence of herpes, syphilis or skin
irritations from poor hygiene.

If your boy is uncircumcised, peel back the foreskin and make sure he cleans
properly.

Check also for redness/irritation at the urethal opening.  This could be a
sign of urethritis which should be treated immediately with anti-viral
medications.