Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2013 16:31:23 -0800 From: Douglas Marx <douglas.marx.4@gmail.com> Subject: Downward Spiral of Jim; Cop - Part 1; Story codes: M, MM, bd, sm, exhib Disclaimer: This story is erotic fiction meant for mature readers. By getting this far into nifty.org, the reader acknowledges his/her legal right to be here. The reader will hold nifty and/or the author harmless. Warning: This erotic fiction contains sexual experiences between fictional adult males. If this is not your thing, leave now. Furthermore, any similarity to any person, place or thing living or dead is merely coincidental. There is no safe sex in this story because it is fiction. Remember: In real life, play as safe as possible preferably no exchange of bodily fluids. My stories are copyrighted and are not available for use under any condition. Please forward all comments, notes and criticisms to douglas.marx.4@gmail.com. Support nifty.org. We have all shot our loads reading Nifty. Show appreciation at http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html. Thank you. Enjoy. ----------------------------------- Please check out my other Nifty.org stories: Growing Up Naked http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/incest/growing-up-naked/ Naked Whore http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/naked-whore Put Out to Pasture http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/put-out-to-pasture Santa's Slave Training http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/santas-slave-training Special Product Design http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/special-product-design The Trunk http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/the-trunk ----------------------------------- Author's note: I created two endings for "The Downward Spiral of Jim". When we left Jim in Chapter 12, he was either going to commit to the cop or leave. Normally, I would have gone with one ending, but I found the study of what could happen based on the fork in the road Jim was presented with at the end of Chapter 12 fascinating. I felt there was a story either way and that I would still prove my original premise. Rule number one in a novel: there can only be one premise. "Downward Spiral of Jim – Cop" three-part ending is what happens to Jim when he chooses to stay and be a slave for the cop. The essence of this conclusion is based on an ongoing dialog I have with an experienced slave. you know who you are slave. Sir appreciates your insight. Warning: this ending is not for the faint of heart. "Downward Spiral of Jim – Rick" is what happens to Jim when he leaves the cop. This installment will be published after "Downward Spiral of Jim – Cop". Suggestion: Read the chapters in order. Much of the appreciation of the second ending comes from understanding the first ending. Thanks. ----------------------------------- Story codes: M, MM, bd, sm, exhib Downward Spiral of Jim – Cop – Part 1 Standing up from the toilet and pulling my pants up, I made my way to the mirror. I looked at myself as if for the last time. I was a handsome man. I looked wonderful today in my beautiful clothes that Sir had purchased for me for public. Coming back to the table, I asked Rick without even sitting down again. "Can we please go?" Rick obliged. He was gracious throughout continuing to open my door and treat me as if I was a gentleman and a human being, even though I knew in my heart I was neither. He drove me back to my home. Starting to get out of the car, Rick grabbed my arm forcing me to look at him. "Jim, I won't pine for you, but if you ever change your mind and I haven't gotten in another relationship, the invitation is still open." Rick smiled through the hurt on his face. He got out of the car to open my door. Once I stood, he took me in his big arms kissing me with the passion that only love gives. I started to cry. He held me for a moment, and then said, "You better go now, Jim." "Thank you for being my friend, Rick, and for the most wonderful day of my life." I walked away not looking back with tears streaming down my face. i walked into my home with the cop. i searched around to see if my Master was here. He still wasn't. i went to put my clothes away and resume my naked place. Without even thinking, i walked into the bathroom taking out a magic marker. On my forehead i wrote, `FAGGOT'. i, then, went to the office to write a note. Dear Sir, i finally understand. i am your FAGGOT. i am your slave. The love i feel for you knows no bounds. i will serve as long as you are willing to have me. Please let me serve you. i want to be with you. Thank you. faggot i walked to the house entrance to the garage. i stuck the note on my forehead with tape. i got down on my knees and waited. The time gave me a chance to get my head straight. With the stroke of pen, i had sealed my fate with my Master. i walked away from a man that loved me; a man that was kind to me to be with a man that abused and belittled me. i walked away from being with someone where i would have been an equal. Instead, i was committing to be with someone where i had no rights. Then, the most horrible thought came to me. i compared Rick to the cop. Rick was brawny, not very handsome, strong, loving, kind. The cop was a standard hunk. He was handsome. He fit into that crowd at the restaurant and so did i. When i was with the cop in those societal circles, we both were the toast of them. That would never be that way with Rick. Rick did not have that je ne sais quoi necessary for that haughty group. Was i really that shallow? Was i here on my knees waiting for the cop because he was better for me in public? i continued to look back. i thought about my life with David. What was that life? It was a life of exterior. It was a life of pomp. Seeing David today showed me that nothing had changed with him. He married for looks just like he had been in the relationship with me. When i went against that grain, he dumped me fast and hard. But wasn't i doing the same thing? Being married to the cop was once again all exterior. There was no connection to the relationship we portrayed to the outside world and the reality of the Master/slave union it was in private. It was a double life. Fuck. If i'm pointing a finger, there are three pointing back. What was the common denominator here? me. i was. i was just as condescending, just as concerned with outside appearances, just as compartmentalized as David or Sir. No wonder i was here. No wonder i was on this floor, naked with faggot written on my forehead and a note of commitment to a life of slavery tape to my head. i had to be with the cop. There was no choice here. i was them. i was David and Sir. i didn't deserve someone like Rick. i wasn't good enough for him. He warranted better. He didn't deserve to have a snotty-nosed, uppity faggot as his lover and partner. That was why i was on this floor. i was a slave. There was no more doubt. i knew my place. The cop came home about two hours later. i was in pain, but i was determined to be in that spot until he arrived. He walked into the house. Seeing me he grabbed the note from my bowed head and read it. He walked away crinkling it into a ball throwing it on the floor. i started to think, `Was he going to leave me here?' `Was he going to throw me out?' A few minutes later he came back. He stood right next to me not saying a word. i could feel his eyes penetrating deep into my soul. i could see he had taken his clothes off because his feet and legs were bare. Suddenly, i felt the warmth of his urine wetting my hair. He pissed a racehorse all over my body and the floor. "Clean it up, faggot. Clean yourself up and make our dinner." "Yes, Sir." We sat down for dinner. i worked particularly hard on this one. Everything had to be perfect because this slave had been such a whinny worthless faggot, it is surprising that Master hadn't kicked it to the curb. slave bowed its head asking Master, "Is the meal good, Sir?" Master smiled, "Yes, faggot. It is. This meal is even better than normal because you finally get it." "What do you mean, Sir?" "I mean you finally recognize your place in life. you get who you are. I wasn't sure that you had the balls to be the slave I require." We paused in the conversation for a few minutes. Sir continued, "faggot, I'm going to explain something to you about this relationship that you might not understand. you are ready now. your note this afternoon indicates such." i looked at him and smiled; however, said nothing. Master continued, "The type of slave that you signed up for is the most difficult form of slavery. It requires great emotional fortitude and agility. you are my legal husband, yet you are my slave. On one hand, you submit to being controlled by me under all circumstances. In this house, you are a faggot. you are a house slave. you are a sex slave. This would be what most would consider a Master/slave experience, except, then you have to go out into the world to handle this house, be my husband in public and pretend to be a normal, independent, responsible human being; when in reality you are not. The mind-fuck is enormous and, by the way, I enjoy watching the hell you go through with significant pleasure." Wow. Was this why i was so insane? "I wanted to see if you could take it. I even risked marrying you before knowing for sure. Over the last month, I was having my doubts. I figured tonight when I came home I was either going to find you surrendered to me or asking for a divorce. I am pleased that you decided to stay. I love you. I know I have a strange way of showing it, but I married you because I love you. No other reason. "Still, regardless of my feelings for you, our relationship can only be one way, my way. Even though I love you, I will kick you out if you refuse to obey and be my slave. Henceforth, you must get rid of that pompous little faggot ego of yours. Surrendered to me completely now and I promise I will take care of you. If you can't, I will be disappointed, but I would rather be disappointed than live and love someone who doesn't have the balls to submit totally to me." This was a powerful revelation on Master's part. i realized why he couldn't say this to me any sooner. i had to surrender first. Then, he could explain. We finished the meal without saying a word. i did not respond to what Master said nor did he expect any. There was a sense of calm enveloping me. Having a full explanation as to what my mental torture was about allowed me to feel at ease. The anxiety i had before was gone. Maybe i could let go of the egocentric self that i realized was such a part of me earlier kneeling on the floor waiting for Master? Maybe i was stronger than i thought because i was in a slave role more difficult than most? Maybe this quiet feeling was due to finding my place in life? Sir snapped me out of my head, "Get on your knees faggot and suck me off?" i dropped to the floor under the dining room table. Sir's cock was already rock hard. i was so happy to see it. He had taken away one of the things that made me feel useful. i luxuriated over his massive tool. i actually made love to it. There was a distinction between any other blow job i had given Sir. This one was because i knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what my place was and how Sir cared for me. When Sir exploded his manliness in my mouth, the taste was exquisite. It was as good as the delicious meal i had at that fancy restaurant earlier. When Sir was done with me he said, "Get the dishes done and come into the living room." i walked into the living room later. There he was; that magnificent stud of a man. He was watching baseball. "Get down on the floor between my legs and watch the game." Master instructed. i felt honored. Sir wanted me with him. Always before, i felt i was an afterthought. He wanted me to share this part of his life with me. He eventually started taking me to ballgames. Naturally, i had to do all the work. He sat and watched the game, while i got the food and beer for him. i was never allowed alcohol. That night when he announced we were going to bed, he led me to his room. There on the floor at the foot of the bed was my doggy bed. He had moved it back from the guest room. My heart skipped a beat and i was close to tears. i could be such a girl. Master said, "Get in bed." i started for my doggy bed and he said, "No, faggot, get in the big bed." i was completely farklempt. i rested my beautiful slave body down on the bed on my back. Master got in next to me and kissed me on the lips, "Good night faggot." He rolled over on his side with his back to me immediately falling asleep. i laid there looking up at the ceiling, and then at him thinking, `well, this is what commitment is.' It took a while, but i finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion of the most pivotal day of my life. Master was different from then on. To say that he was kinder, not really, but he never banished me again. i slept most nights in my doggy bed. With no particular pattern, he would tell me to be in the big bed. We even started to have a regular sex life, yet with the obvious definition of bottom and top. Master started to allow me to nurse his man nipples. It had been so frustrating seeing those beautiful muscles every day and not being able to wrap my lips around them to give me comfort. Now Master every once in a while would let me suck his nipples until i came. Every once in a while Master bred me and i could touch him while he thrusted his massive man cock into my pussy. He had never allowed me to touch him before when I was being fucked. Every once in a while Master would kiss me like Burt Lancaster kissed Deborah Kerr in "From Here to Eternity". i lived for those moments. Many times i almost wished i was a house and sex slave. It would be easier. Moving back and forth from slave to functioning human continued to gnaw at my head. It was better though with the explanation that Sir had given me that evening. Rick eventually cut off his friendship with the cop. Sir told me one day at dinner that Rick could no longer take being around me. i was very sad because i considered him my friend. i did secretly write a letter to Rick to tell him. It was the last official act of my surrender to Master. Dear Rick, Words cannot express the disappointment and sadness I feel over your decision to end your friendship with my Master. Regardless, I absolutely understand. It is just too hard. It is also extremely hard on me as well. Every time I see you, I think about what might have been. Since our birthday lunch, I realized that there is no doubt in my mind that you are the love of my life, not my Master. I have grown to love Master, but not like you. Admitting that, I know it makes no sense as to why I am staying with Master and not leaving him for becoming a human being again in the world and hopefully with you. My only explanation is that I feel you deserve better. I will never forget you, Rick. I hope you find a man that is a real man that you can love with all your heart. Love, Jim What I didn't know then; Rick knew more. He knew it was going to get bad for me. It wasn't just because he couldn't have me sexually. He could if he wanted to. Master would have allowed that. Rick recognized that eventually my slave life with the cop would change again and he couldn't bear to witness the depths that my life would take once the cop no longer needed me for public life. i went into a hell that knew no bounds and that destroyed my soul. ----------------------------------- I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I appreciate hearing from you guys. I attempt to respond to each email within two days. Many times our conversations shape the upcoming storyline. Thank you. Please send any comments to: douglas.marx.4@gmail.com