Date: Tue, 26 Feb 2013 14:37:09 -0800
From: Douglas Marx <douglas.marx.4@gmail.com>
Subject: Downward Spiral of Jim; Chapter 12; Story codes: M, MM, bd, sm, exhib

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Please check out my other Nifty.org stories:

Growing Up Naked	http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/incest/growing-up-naked/
Naked Whore		http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/naked-whore
Put Out to Pasture	http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/put-out-to-pasture
Santa's Slave Training	http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/santas-slave-training
Special Product Design	http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/special-product-design
The Trunk		http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/the-trunk

-----------------------------------

Story codes: M, MM, bd, sm, exhib

Downward Spiral of Jim – Chapter Twelve

The big day came.  I was going to have lunch with my Master's best friend,
Rick.  I wish I could say I was excited about it; however, the cop was more
distant than ever, which led to me being more sad and lonely.  I know as a
slave that I am not here to want anything other than to be of service to my
superior man.  It's just that I can't control my feelings that if the cop
would just show some physical affection towards me, my bad faggot attitude
would go away.  With him not giving me his cock in my ass or throat now, I
felt as if I was a complete failure as a slave.  I began to wonder if I was
worthy to be a slave.  Or, was I one of those stupid bottoms that lives a
slave fantasy in its head, but when the reality of actually being a slave
is given to them, they can't take it.

That thought made me more dour.  All along I thought that all I had been
through as a bottom; the humiliating incidents of a few years earlier when
I lost David, my home and my job were meant for the current experience to
occur with the cop.  Could that not be?  Was my assumption wrong?  Doubt
plagued me.  I started to think that I was worthless.  My only use in this
life was to suck anonymous cock and be a bathhouse attendant.  I felt that
I didn't deserve the cop, the home and security he provided me.  My Master
always referred to me as "faggot".  I realized that he was right.  I was
hopeless queer faggot scum.

I went to the kitchen to fix a nice breakfast for Sir.  It was all I could
muster, but I had to put my best foot forward hoping against hope that
Master would come around and want me again.  I outdid myself.  The French
toast was the best I ever created.  The eggs were basted to perfection.
The bacon was crisp and greaseless.  Sir always was on time for our
scheduled meal, but he missed his entrance.  I started to panic because I
knew that one moment too long sitting, this feast would be ruined.  I
decided to go to his bedroom, the bedroom that used to be ours, to peek in
and see where he was.  I ever so gently opened his door peering around the
edge.  There was no Sir in bed.  Was he in the Master bath?  No.

I raced across the house to the garage only to find his car gone.  My
Master was gone.  He left me.  He had never done that before.  He always
told me in advance his plans.  He always arrived at breakfast or any other
meal we had together promptly.  Now, I was mad.  For the first time in my
life, I screamed at the top of my lungs.  I went into the kitchen and threw
his plate of delicious food across the room smashing it against the wall
and shattering the dish into a million pieces.

"I CAN'T FUCKING TAKE IT!"  I shrieked.  "No!  You god damn asshole, you're
the one who married me.  Fucking bastard.  What's wrong?  Why don't you
like me anymore?  I don't understand.  Please, Sir.  Talk to me.  Tell me
what I did.  I will do anything.  I want our relationship.  I want to be
with you.  Please don't throw me away."  I fell to the floor sobbing more
than ever in my life.  I wailed until there was nothing left.  In
exhaustion, I screamed with the last of my strenght.  "Alright, you fucking
bastard.  I love you.  Get it.  I love you.  I want you.  I want to be your
slave.  My life is useless except to serve you.  Fucking happy now?
Fucking satisfied bastard?  I surrender.  You win.  You win.  You win.
Just please come home, Sir.  I need you.  I want you more than life."

I lay on the floor in a naked heap for quite a while.  Finally, I got
enough energy to clean up the mess that I made.  I looked at the time.  It
was 10 AM.  Time to get ready for my birthday lunch with Rick.  I no longer
wanted to go.  I wanted to be home and wait for the cop.  But, Rick was
coming to get me and Sir would be very pissed if I wasn't on my best
behavior regardless of what was happening between the two of us.

I must say that when Rick arrived, I looked smashing.  This slave still had
it thanks to the lovely wardrobe that Sir bought me for public appearances.
I put on my best face.  That is what a slave does.  Feelings are not based
in reality.  The fact is that I had a luncheon with a wonderful, kind man;
show up and shut up.

Rick rang the doorbell.  When I opened it, he gave me one of those big bear
hugs of his.  My cock immediately pushed its way out of my chinos.

"Hi Jim.  You ready?"

"Yes, Rick.  I am."  I smiled.

We walked out to his car.  He opened the door for me and we drove away.  It
was good to get out.  I immediately forgot about my home troubles.  We had
light conversation on the way to the restaurant.  I had no idea where we
were going but I knew we were in the best part of town.

We pulled up to the finest place in the city.  I immediately questioned if
I was underdressed even with hundreds of dollars of preppy clothes on.  I
also wondered about Rick.  He was stunningly dressed.  The most coif I had
ever seen him.  Yet, he seemed out of place.  Rick was this big, strapping
muscle bear of a man.  Not classically handsome.  This place was very
gentile.  I had been here before and only the crème de la crème of
the city's society mingled.  There was an underlying standard of attractive
and refined involved in being here.  Rick's physical look, no matter how
well-groomed, was not it.  I, on the other hand, fit right in.  I mused
about what this haute crowd would think if they knew I was actually a
full-time slave to one of the men who protects their city from bad guys.

Walking in the front door from the portico and the valet, we were greeted
by the maître d.  Rick introduced us.  "Richard Walters, party of two."
"Good day, Sir.  We've been expecting you.  Right this way."

The maître d pulled out the chair for me.  It is funny how people assume
who the farer sex is in a homosexual relationship because I was smaller.
Rick waited for me to be seated and comfortable before taking his place
across the table.  We had the best seating area in the house.  The window
provided a stunning view of the city.  I was impressed.  If they only knew
what a fucking messy faggot I had been just a few short hours ago.  I
wondered if other people in the room had to pull themselves together under
stressful circumstances to look good here at lunch today.

Rick and I freely talked.  I noticed about an hour into lunch that there
was never a pause in the conversation.  I didn't excessively talk about
myself and my problems with Sir; however, I didn't hide anything either.  I
doubt I was giving Rick any information that he didn't already know about
his best friend.  I was more interested in him anyway.  Rick was a
fascinating man.  He was also the nicest man I had ever met in my life.  I
wondered what it was about me that made me want to be a slave instead of
with someone like Rick.

David was a good person, but "nicest" would be a stretch.  He was more into
perfection and control.  Yes, we talked as I said earlier, but not like
Rick and I were speaking.  There was an open spirit to this conversation.
I could see that I could easily fall for this man across the table
complicating my life further.

Speaking of the devil, out of the corner of my eye David was entering the
restaurant with an amazingly striking man.  David saw me.  He asked the
maître d to give them a second.  I stood up to greet him with a
handshake.  "David, it is nice to see you.  David, this is a good friend of
mine, Rick.  Rick, David."

"Jim.  Good to see you as well.  Jim, this is my husband, Robert.  We were
married about a year ago."  David explained.

"Lovely to meet you, Robert.  You are a lucky man.  David is a great guy."
I rallied the best I could.

David quickly said in that underlying control I knew so well, "Robert, we
can't keep the maître d waiting any longer.  Nice to meet you, Rick.
Bye Jim."

I sat back down, "Well, that was interesting."  I said to Rick.  "That was
my first relationship.  The one I was in when I got in trouble with the
law."

"Oh.  Are you ok?"  Rick asked with concern.

"Yes, Rick.  I am fine.  That was good to see him.  I owe him a lot, but
frankly I hope I never see him again."

Rick smiled.  "I understand.  Shall we have dessert?"

"Sure."

The conversation took a bit to get started again.  My mind wandered over
the presence of David in the room with his actually married to husband; not
just the figure of speech gay men use about their partner.  Rick was
patient waiting for me to come back mentally.

Rick said when the dessert came.  "Happy Birthday, Jim.  I'm so glad we
were able to come to lunch."

"Me too, Rick.  You don't know how much this meant to me."

Rick responded.  "Actually, I think I do."

I smiled.

Rick paid the check.  He then took my hand in his across the table to ask,
"Would you like to come back to my place, Jim?"

"Rick, I don't know if that is right.  If I have sex with you again, I may
fall in love with you.  I don't want to leave the cop.  Yet, you are the
kindest man.  Please be my friend no matter what.  I am so lonely being the
cop's slave.  Just being with you gives me the strength to carry on with my
commitment to Sir."

"Jim, I love you.  There is no doubt in my mind.  I started to fall for you
the moment I met you in the gym over a year ago.  I would love to date you
with the intent of seeing if we could be in a relationship.  It would put a
strain on my friendship with the cop, but I am willing to lose his alliance
to have you."  Rick looked at me so sincerely.

"Rick, thank you.  Please take me home before I change my mind."  I asked.

Rick responded.  "I understand, Jim.  I do want to point out one thing that
you may not have considered.  Do you get that the cop/my friend has played
us?"

"What do you mean?"  I asked regardless of the fact that I instantly knew.
It was all beginning to make sense.  Remember, I said I would just have to
wait until I figured out what Master's plan was.

"The cop wanted you to be tempted.  He wanted you to choose.  He wanted to
know if you would finally commit to him.  He used me for his plan.  I went
along acting as if I didn't know what he was up to.  Why do you think he
had me over to watch baseball naked so many times recently?  He wanted to
have you see me naked.  He knew you were thinking about me.  He was testing
you.  He wanted to see if you would completely submit, which by his
standards you have yet to do."

"Why would you go along with it?"  I asked kind of miffed.

"I went along with it because I had fallen in love with you.  If there was
any chance you would walk away from being his slave, I wanted to have an
opportunity to woo you."  He said with a big smile.  "What better way to
woo you than to sit in your living room naked so you could check this out?"
Rick raised his arms wide and flexed his upper body.  My dick was working
my pants again.  A number of women and men in the immediate area took
notice.  How many wet pussies and hard cocks did that show create?  I
caught that David saw Rick's gesture.  That was worth the price of
admission.

"That's the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, Rick."

Rick's face turned very serious moving in close to my face across the
table.  "Jim, I want to make a few things clear.  If you succumb completely
to the cop, I will understand and respect your decision.  All three of us
will still be friends.  Hell, the cop may even let me play with you;
however, I will turn him down because it will hurt too much.  If you leave,
I'm not going to be there to pick up your pieces.  You will have to
reestablish your life.  You will have to get your own place and your own
job.  I will not let you live with me as your alternative to your current
situation.  We can date once you are stable.  I love you, but I ain't
saving you.  Do you understand my point?"

"Yes, Rick.  I understand.  Rick, I need a minute.  Would you excuse me?  I
want to go to the men's room."  I said it like a flustered lady because
that is exactly what I was.

I minced my twitching pussy through the restaurant to the restroom.  I
wanted Rick to take me back to his place and fuck the shit out of me.
There was no question about it.  The cop was hot, but Rick was sexy.  I
went into a stall and sat.  All I had to do was pee, but it seemed
appropriate to sit like a lady and think.

Seeing David in the flesh felt like a sign.  I reflected back on the ten
years we lived together.  I thought about our sex life.  We were so
controlled.  David and I did play with each other throughout the ten years.
For most couples, straight or gay, that is a miracle in and of itself.  We
had other partners.  I remember being so bored with the type of guys I had
sex with during that time; so fucking vanilla.  We were both the epitome of
white bread.  The roughest I ever got with anyone was that last time I
fucked David the morning after the bodybuilder trapped me in the gym locker
room.  It was also the last time my dick had been inside an anus.
Regardless of my decision, there was little doubt my cock would ever see
the insides of a poop shoot again.

As I thought about David, I came to a greater understanding about how my
life had always been controlled by another man.  I know I spoke of this
earlier; however, the depth of this became more pronounced.  The illusion
that it wasn't that way revolved around our basic fuck, suck and kiss sex
life.  David regulated every aspect of our lives.  David made sure the
legal manners were done.  David arranged the guest list.  David organized
who we were friends with.  David actually set up the men that I would have
sex with on the side.

I had this fantasy that this entire downward spiral occurred from the
moment in the gym with the bodybuilder.  It had actually started with
David.  The difference was that David was more subtle. What I witnessed a
few minutes earlier with the way David moved the conversation along so the
maître d wouldn't be left waiting.  God forbid we would be inappropriate
and let down our manners.  David and I hadn't seen each other in years,
yet, I was only given two sentences before he whisked Robert away to their
seating thus controlling and avoiding the perils of the discussion becoming
too in depth.

Living with the cop, nothing had changed.  I was a slave in the first
relationship and I was still a slave.  The cop controlled everything.  The
cop controlled the finances, the legalities, whom we played with, whom I
was allowed to see, when I could have outside sex which was always about me
usually servicing cocks of his friends or at the rest area.

Then there was Rick.  I only had sex with Rick one time on my wedding day.
It was the most egalitarian, loving, happy sexual experience of my life.
Rick had sex with me because he cared about me; not because he wanted to
control me.  Rick had sex with me because he saw how upset I was at the
wedding.  Rick had sex with me because he was in love with me.  No matter
which way I go with this, I will never forget that beautiful experience.  I
will never forget Rick's massive, muscled, hairy body enveloping me.  I
will never forget making love to Rick's huge man nipples.  I will never
forget that he allowed me to do anything I wanted.  I will never forget
Rick's cumming in my ass.  He gave me his love at that moment.  I remember
saying to myself that I never wanted that cum to leave my body.  I wanted
it to absorb into me so that a part of Rick was always with me.

Oh fuck.  I did love Rick.  Rick was the only true man here.  Rick was the
one that was comfortable with himself that he could fall in love with
someone and if it worked out fine, if it didn't he would move on.  David
and the cop both had to have it their way or the highway.  David
demonstrated that with him unceremoniously dumping me in the jail cell.
The cop had always made that perfectly clear.  Neither David nor the cop
were mature men; however, that didn't mean I necessarily had the balls to
walk away from being controlled by the cop.  That would mean I could no
longer abdicate responsibility for my life.

It all boiled down to this moment.  What was I going to do when I walked
out of that men's room?

-----------------------------------

I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  I appreciate hearing from you guys.  I
attempt to respond to each email within two days.  Many times our
conversations shape the upcoming storyline.  Thank you.

Please send any comments to: douglas.marx.4@gmail.com