Date: Sun, 17 Mar 2013 16:58:24 -0700
From: Douglas Marx <douglas.marx.4@gmail.com>
Subject: Downward Spiral of Jim; Rick - Part 1; Story codes: M, MM

Disclaimer: This story is erotic fiction meant for mature readers.  By
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Warning: This erotic fiction contains sexual experiences between fictional
adult males.  If this is not your thing, leave now.  Furthermore, any
similarity to any person, place or thing living or dead is merely
coincidental.

There is no safe sex in this story because it is fiction.  Remember: In
real life, play as safe as possible preferably no exchange of bodily
fluids.

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Please check out my other Nifty.org stories:

Growing Up Naked	http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/incest/growing-up-naked/
Naked Whore		http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/naked-whore
Put Out to Pasture	http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/put-out-to-pasture
Santa's Slave Training	http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/santas-slave-training
Special Product Design	http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/special-product-design
The Trunk		http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/authoritarian/the-trunk

------------------------------------

Author's note: The fork in the road of Jim's life at the end of chapter 12
fascinated me.  What does happen based on a simple decision?  Where does
life lead going left or right at the fork?  Are there parallels anyway?  We
all know now how it turned out for Jim when he stayed with the cop.  Not
pretty by most judgments, but certainly valid when as person releases
themself to another.  Now let's explore an alternate Universe for Jim.
Enjoy.

------------------------------------

Downward Spiral of Jim – Rick – Part One

When I came back to the table I asked Rick if we could leave.  I didn't
even sit back down.  Rick obliged.  He was gracious throughout.  He drove
me back to my home.  I started to get out and he stopped me.

"Jim, I won't pine for you, but if you ever change your mind and I haven't
gotten in another relationship, the invitation is still open."  Rick smiled
through the hurt on his face.

He got out of the car to open my door.  Once I stood, he took me in his
arms kissing me with the passion that only love gives.  I started to cry.
He held me for a moment, and then said, "You better go now, Jim.  Thank
you."

I said, "Thank you for being my friend and for the most wonderful day of my
life."

I walked into my home with the cop.  I searched around to see if Sir was
back.  He still wasn't.  I went to put my clothes away and resume my naked
place.  When I went to the closet I started to unbutton my shirt.  I
loosened three buttons and stopped.  I couldn't do it.  I started to get
frightened.  I said to myself, `Oh God, Jim.  Take off your clothes.  If
you don't, it will mean the relationship with the cop is over.  Do it.  Do
it now.'  I went back into the living room and sat down on the sofa.  I
never sat on the furniture in the living room.  The only furniture I sat on
was the kitchen and dining room chairs.  Any place else in the house I
either stood or sat on the floor.

The cop not being home gave me a chance to get my head straight.  If I
didn't get my butt off this couch and my clothes off, it meant that I was
walking away from a man that abused and belittled me.  I was walking away
from being with someone who was "superior" to me in every way, but was
really just a first class asshole.  I had seen true kindness and love
today.  Whether Rick and I would be together was insignificant.  I realized
no one had to treat me like this.  Then, the most horrible thought came to
me.  I compared Rick to the cop.  Rick was brawny, not very handsome,
strong, loving, kind.  The cop was a standard hunk.  He was handsome.  He
fit into that crowd at the restaurant and so did I.  When I was with the
cop in those societal circles, we both were the toast of them.  That would
never be that way with Rick.  Rick did not have that je ne sais quoi
necessary for that haughty group.  Was I really that shallow?  Was I here
in this Master/slave union with the cop because he was better for me in
public?

I continued to look back.  I thought about my life with David.  What was
that life?  It was a life of exterior.  It was a life of pomp.  Seeing
David today showed me that nothing had changed with him.  He married for
looks just like he had been in the relationship with me.  When I went
against that grain, he dumped me fast and hard.

But wasn't I doing the same thing?  Being married to the cop was once again
all exterior.  There was no connection to the relationship we portrayed to
the outside world and the reality of the Master/slave bond it was in
private.  It was a double life.

Fuck.  If I'm pointing a finger, there are three pointing back.  What was
the common denominator here?  Me.  I was.  I was just as condescending,
just as concerned with outside appearances, just as compartmentalized as
David or the cop.  No wonder I was here.  No wonder I was a slave faggot.

With this realization, I almost jumped off the couch and ran to the bedroom
to take off my clothes.  If I didn't do this right now, I was committing to
a life where I would have to switch from being a snotty-nosed, uppity
faggot bottom slave to a kind, loving responsible man.  I would have to
become like Rick.  I would have to not care what people thought of me.  I
would have to stop being the judgmental bastard and social-climbing whore
that I had been all my life.  I knew my place here.  To leave would mean
becoming a man.  Could I do that?  I didn't know, but I wasn't getting off
the couch to take my clothes off so this must be my answer.

Sir came home about two hours later.  He walked into the living room to see
my sitting on the couch with my clothes on.  He knew what this meant.

"Sir, I want a divorce."

The cop matter-of-factly said, "Jim, I am no longer your Sir.  Take a
suitcase and pack all your clothes and personal belongings.  I will take
you to a hotel that you can use until you get a place.  I will call our
attorney on Monday to start the process and to clean up the connections
between us.  I will have a job for you by week's end as I promised.  Look
for a little apartment over the next few days.  I will pay for it until you
get on your feet.  I'll call the phone company and take your phone off
restriction.  You can get a new one after your first paycheck."

"That's it.  No discussion.  Nothing."  I asked.

"Jim, you don't get it.  The relationship we were in was not about
discussion and compromise.  I was your Master.  If you were to be my slave,
you had to play by my rules.  I thought you knew that.  I thought you
understood that I loved you.  But, it became apparent that you couldn't
fully engage to be a slave.  You were so close.  I fully believed that
tonight I would come home and you would turn yourself over to me completely
and that we could move to the next level in our union.  But, instead, you
are clothed.  You are sitting on the furniture.  You said the safe word,
`divorce'.  I was wrong.  You are just another one of those gay men that
fantasize about being a slave, but are not willing to go to any lengths to
get it."

I reluctantly got off the couch saying, "Ok, I'll get my things."  I went
to the bedroom, took out a suitcase and packed everything that the cop had
bought me.  I picked up my trust papers and my copy of our agreements.
When I emerged with suitcase in tow, the cop said, "Let's go."

We got in the car and he drove me to a nice hotel.  He told me he would
call when the meeting for the divorce was set.  He said to expect a call
this week for your job.  The job is a done deal.  No questions asked.
"Bye, Jim."

"Bye."  That was it.  I wanted to scream at him, `Can't we at least talk?
Maybe if we talked, we wouldn't be in this situation.'  But, the cop said
to me that it was his way or not.  So, I got out of the car and walked into
the hotel.  Tears were streaming down my face.  I went up to the front
desk.  The woman was very kind and proficient not wanting me to stand there
any longer than necessary under the circumstances.  I thanked her and went
to my room.  I walked in and sat down in the chair.  Staring across the
room at the tasteful, yet highly generic décor, I said out loud, "I've
just made the worst mistake of my life."

On Monday morning, I got a call from the attorney to set up an appointment
to come in and sign the paperwork.  My new boss called saying that I was to
start a week from today.  The cop was ways so efficient and this was no
exception.  I found a little studio apartment near my employment where I
would walk and not need a car.

I put on the brave face at work.  There were people there who knew I was
married to the cop and that we were getting a divorce.  Everyone gave me a
little slack; however, I did my best burying my sorrows into my work.  The
service role that I had known was torn from me.  I had to replace it fast
and the best way I knew how was to be a good employee and serve the
company.

I didn't call Rick for a month.  I just couldn't.  The best day of my life
had turned into the worst day of my life.  I felt as if I was a complete
failure and he wouldn't have anything to do with me.  Finally, I got up my
nerve.  Rick was so sweet on the phone and asked if we could meet for
coffee.  We did.

Rick arrived first and when I walked in he immediately stood up to hug me
and pull out my chair.  "Would you like something to drink?"

"Yes, Rick.  I'll take a Venti Americano."  I smiled.  I was always the one
fetching something.  It was nice to have someone acknowledge my existence.

When Rick sat back down he took my hand in his meaty paws and said, "God,
it is good to see you."

I immediately cried.  I couldn't help it.  The last month of my life had
been hell and this was the first time I gave myself permission to feel.

"It's ok babe.  Rick is here."

We talked for a couple of hours.  I had a lot to say and Rick knew he would
have to be patient with me.  We did not go to his house and have sex.  Rick
stayed true to his word at the restaurant; he was not going to rescue me
from my leaving the cop.  In fact, we only met once-a-week at the coffee
shop for several months with no trips to the sack.  Rick wanted me and he
knew the only way to have me fully was to allow me to feel, walk through my
challenges and become a man on my own two feet, something that I had never
been in my life.

Finally, Rick invited me over to his house for dinner.  It was a beautiful
evening.  He served an amazing meal with a significantly large portion for
himself.  He was a big man.  Afterward, we sat on the couch and kissed for
over an hour.  I wanted to rip my clothes off and be with him, but he
instead took me home.  Rick was bound to his word that I was going walk
through my recovery from being the cop's slave.  Rick wanted me completely.
Rick knew that if we had sex, I might feel recovered, when in fact; the sex
simply muddled my feelings.  I walked in the door and spurt a load even
before I got my shoes off.  Then, I shot another one when I got naked in
bed.  Fuck I wanted to be with him.

We dated for over a year.  Unlike the whore that I had been, I was
completely monogamous with Rick.  When we did eventually have sex, it was
the best sex I ever had; just as the first time on my wedding day.  No one
ever came close.  Rick was very romantic.  He loved little things like
walking hand in hand, going to a nice restaurant, fixing dinner for me at
his home.  He was this huge, loveable teddy bear of a man.  The
juxtaposition between his physical size and his kindness sometimes took me
off guard.  There was a part of me that wanted him to take me and fuck me
hard like the little slut whore I had been.  Rick was a total top, but he
was not going to make me his slut whore to show his strength or
superiority.  Rick was a far more confident man than that.  This is not to
say that our roles were not well defined.  They were.  Rick was all man and
was a mix.

The night Rick and I had sex I will remember forever.  We had only had sex
that one other time on my wedding day to the cop.  That was a few years
back so my pent up desires were strong.  Rick invited me to come over to
his home for another of his delicious meals.  Rick always dressed well and
he expected no less from me.  The evening was as romantic as a girl could
ever have.  There was lovely music in the background.  The dinner was with
candlelight.  There were several courses of food paired with the correct
wine.  Rick knew how to prep so well that he would leave the table for less
than five minutes between courses.  His plating was spot on.

Afterward we adjourned to the living room.  We sat and held each other not
speaking for a while letting our dinner rest.  Rick turned to me quietly
and said, "It's time, Jim."  He leaned over and kissed me softly on the
lips.  The feeling of this big man holding me made everything alright with
the world.  I finally was with a man that was loving, still in control, but
not controlling.

"Really Rick?  Oh, Rick, I love you."  I started to cry.

Rick just held me.  He knew that I was a big baby at heart.  I suspect he
knew that I would have to cry first before we could make love.  "It's ok,
baby.  Let it out, baby.  Rick is here.  Rick will hold you.  Rick wants to
be with you.  Rick wants to take care of you.  I love you, Jim."

When I relaxed Rick started to kiss me sweetly on my lips.  He moved down
my neck as he gently undid my pants.  I leaned away from him for a minute
to take of my shirt and remove the rest of my clothes.  I wanted to be
naked for him.  I wanted to show him my body.  I stood up in front of him
when I was completely nude.

Rick exclaimed, "My God, you are beautiful baby.  You are as magnificent as
I remember you from before."

I looked down at this brute of a man staring at me.  It was so erotic to be
displayed naked in front of him; not as an object but for the incredible
appreciation he had for me.  I came back down to him on the couch.  Rick
was so strong that he lifted me onto my back laying me flat on the couch
with him still clothed piling on top of me.  He touched every inch of my
body with his lips and hands.  The gentleness of his caressing was
extraordinary.  All I could do was moan and hold onto my big man.

When he was finished anointing me, he got up, took my hand and led me to
the bedroom.  He walked me in directly me to lie down on the bed.  I slowly
played with my dripping cock while Rick took off his clothes.  Rick
undressed very slowly.  He wanted me to worship his body, which I was more
than happy to do.  He unbuttoned his shirt revealing his hairy chest and
stomach.  He pushed down his pants stepping out of them.  He had a nice wet
spot on his colored underwear where the tip of his restrained, but hard
cock was.

I had been to bed with lots of handsome, well-built men over the years, but
Rick was my first power lifter man.  Everything about him was extra thick;
his neck, his pecs, his biceps, his forearms, his hands, his stomach, his
calves, his thighs and that beer can-sized cock.  He was the ultimate.  No
one had, nor anyone in the future, would even come close to the sexuality
and magnificence of Rick.  I could have shot my load hands free watching
this tease.

Rick came to bed with me.  He held me so tight while he kissed me hard.
Rick's body enveloped me.  I wasn't a small guy, but Rick had about 80
lbs. on me.  I felt like an elf next to him.

We were the exact opposite hair-wise.  Rick was hairy all over including
his back and not a bit on his head.  I had hair on my head, but thanks to
the cop, my body was completely devoid of hair and I would never grow hair
again.  I buried my face into him.  I devoured his cock.  Rick loved me to
suck and lick his armpits.  I think that I could have made him cum just
burrowing deep into his hairy pits.  When I was done with pleasuring his
dick and pits, his aroma transferred onto my face and body.  I would never
quite smell like myself ever again.  There was always this hint of Rick on
my body.

Rick eventually decided that he was going to place his man seed inside me.
This was when Rick would get very forceful.  He placed me on my stomach
asking me to use my hands to spread my cheeks as wide as possible.  Rick
had an incredible tongue and he tongue-fucked my pussy well in advance of
inserting his love inside me.  This was very hard to deal with because my
cock was rock hard and rubbing up against the mattress as he ate me out.
It took massive amounts of control not to release.

Rick's tongue left my wanting hole and I felt him shift his body into
position to fuck me.  He spread my legs wide as he pressed his babymaker
inside.  At first, it was just his dick I felt inside me, but then he
lowered his entire body onto my back.  I felt his thick stomach resting on
my lower back.  His massive arms wrapped themselves around my torso.  He
kissed the back of my neck as he started to move in and out.  My pussy was
so receptive that if I was an actual woman I would have jizzed pussy juice
from the experience.

"Oh, yeah baby.  Feel Rick inside you.  Yeah, you want Rick in you, don't
you baby?  You want Rick's cock.  You want Rick's love in you.  Rick loves
you so much baby and Rick is going to give you the ultimate Rick prize,
Rick's sperm.  You are so fucking hot Jim.  You pussy is so moist.  Rick
loves fucking you.  Oh baby.  Oh fuck.  Hold on tight baby.  Rick's gonna
give you his love.  Rick's going to impregnate you.  Oh yeah.  Oh fuck.  Oh
fuck.  Oh fuck Jim.  Yeah.  Yeah.  Yeah.  Yeah.  Yeah."

Rick shot a load so large I felt it.  He collapsed onto me. My god he was
fucking heavy, but I could have cared less.  Rick's had fucked me.  Rick
had made love to me.  Rick had treated me the way that I always wanted to
be treated, but never knew.  I never wanted this moment to end.

Rick finally rolled off of me.  "Ok baby.  Let's get you off."  Rick lay on
his back taking my body and directing my mouth to his nipples.  "Suck on
them baby and jerk off.  I want to see my little man's jizz shoot while he
makes love to my pecs."  Naturally, being a nipple whore, I nursed my man's
breasts until they were raw and sore.  I held on to him for dear life as I
suck and suck on his nipples.  I rubbed my dick up against his thick thigh.
I didn't even want to touch my dick.  I wanted both my hands holding onto
him.  I loved rubbing my dick on his body.  Feeling the thickness of each
part whether a thigh or stomach or rubbing our dicks together, I just
wanted to embrace him massaging my dick until it spurt juice on his hairy
self.

I did fall in love with Rick.  Hell, the reality was I was in love with
Rick for a long time.  Why else did I do what I did by divorcing the cop?
Rick and I had a great time together.  We were so simpatico.  Rick and I
never were at a loss for conversation.  Nor did we need to talk all the
time.  We were so comfortable with each other.  Rick lost his friendship
with the cop.  He had to change gyms so they wouldn't run into each other.
The hard part was the lingering of my own snobbery about who I should be
seen with.  Rick confronted me about it finally.  Rick was no idiot.

Rick took me out to a lovely dinner.  It was at a fancy restaurant, not the
crème de la crème of my birthday, but a special place that was
frequented by a large gay clientele. The place was quite stylish.  The
crowd was smart, sophisticated, snobbish... I fit right in.

During dinner, more than one couple from my past came up to chat.  I was a
little dismissive partly because I did not want to talk about what happened
between David and I, or what happened with my marriage to the cop.  The
main challenge, though, was that it brought up all my embarrassment that my
new boyfriend did not fit the image of the previous ones.  The irony was
that some of the people we ran into knew about what happened with David
because of the news.  They were friends who had dropped me like a hot
potato upon seeing my naked body dragged out of the rest area making the
local news and the Internet sites.  Yet, I'm embarrassed with my new
boyfriend who was the most kind and gentle person in the world?  Yet, I'm
the one who with a criminal record and a disgraced past?

"Jim, what's going on with your body language?"

Oh, I so didn't want to talk about this.  "Nothing, Rick.  I'm fine."

"No, Jim.  You're not.  I'm not pretty enough for you, am I?  I am the best
person that you have ever been with, yet, because I'm not classically
handsome like your previous partners, you are embarrassed."

"Oh, Rick.  I love you.  Please, you have to know that.  I have to explain.
The afternoon I asked for a divorce from the cop, the same afternoon of our
lovely lunch, the same afternoon of the most wonderful day of my life, I
realized that I was a snotty-nosed faggot.  That I had made all my lover
decisions based on looks and dominance.  It was a horrible insight.  I was
just like David and the cop.  This is the first time that I have had to
confront this with my past being here today with you.  I am so sorry.  I
apologize.  I'm hurting your feelings."

"Does this mean you don't want to be with me?"  Rick asked.

"No, Rick.  I have never wanted to be with anyone more than I want to be
with you.  I am just having a problem.  It's my problem and I have to get
over it."

"You sure as shit do, Jim.  I am going to take you home.  Check please."

By this point, I was crying.  I had hurt Rick deeply.  I could tell he was
pissed.  Now, I don't think this was a surprise to Rick.  I feel it was the
moment when the argument needed to occur.  He may have even set this up
because this situation, this restaurant, this crowd, I could never deny his
accusation.

Rick drove me home in silence.  His passenger was snuffling softly.  Rick
stopped the car in front of my apartment and, being the typical gentleman
he always was, got out of the car to open my door.

When we were standing curbside looking at each other Rick said, "Jim.  I
love you.  I want to be with you; however, this is a problem.  I'm going to
need some time.  I learned a long time ago that threats and ultimatums
never work.  Just figure out what you want and let me know."

Rick kissed me, gave me a hug, got back in his car and drove away.  I stood
on the sidewalk watching his car until I couldn't see it any more with
tears running down my face.  I knew then what I wanted, but I also knew we
needed a break.  I went up to my little apartment and cried myself to
sleep.  We didn't speak for months.

Two years to the day that I walked out of the cop's life, I married Rick.
Rick was the greatest gift that was ever given to me.  I finally processed
out the snotty little faggot whore that I was and became a man to the man I
loved for the rest of our lives together.


-----------------------------------

I hope you enjoyed this chapter.  I appreciate hearing from you guys.  I
attempt to respond to each email within two days.  Many times our
conversations shape the upcoming storyline.  Thank you.

Please send any comments to: douglas.marx.4@gmail.com