Date: Tue, 30 Dec 2003 05:29:33 -0800 (PST)
From: Edward Chong <edwardchong21@yahoo.com>
Subject: The Heart Of The Slave (Part 2)

Disclaimer: The following account is true. It is more of an autobiography
rather than a fictional story. It delves on the concept of BDSM, more
specifically, the Master/slave relationship. If you are looking for a story
with lots of explicit sex scenes, this is not one of them. However, I hope
that you will spend some time and read this story anyway. Any comments can
be directed to me. Thank you.

There were a lot of feedbacks on the first story, thanks a lot and keep
them coming! They keep me going!

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The Heart Of The Slave 2
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	I did not intend to write a sequal to this story originally, but it
seems that I have more things to say. For the past couple of days, the urge
to serve another person has been more than overwhelming. I was reading a
story on the Archive by the title Willing Slave, and it sparked something
inside me. I don't really know what it is, but the desire to be a slave
became so great that it was unbearable. I had to chain myself to the bed
when I sleep so that I won't do something stupid while I am
asleep. Frankly, I don't understand why someone would wants to be a slave
so much, but here I am, a living example.
	So what is stopping me from being a slave? Well, as I mentioned in
the first installment, I am an only child so sex is almost very difficult,
especially gay sex. Or maybe I am just too afraid to try. One of the
feedbacks I got outlines the hypothesis that some people are so afraid to
have sex, they need bondage and SM in order to make it feels like the sex
is forced upon them, that they have no choice. Either way, it's not easy to
tell your parents that you are doing another guy, and even tougher to tell
them that you want to be a slave to another man. I don't think its entirely
possible.
	My original plan was to leave the place where I grew up and go
somewhere that no one knows me. Start over. Just a simple life. Don't
really care about being somebody in the world. Just want to serve
someone. Maybe go into the porn industry. I like that, just that I don't
think I am physically built for something like that. My dick is small. Even
when at maximum mass, it is only 5". I don't workout that much, cause why
would anyone wants a six packs when I can have a barrel? Actually, it's not
that I don't like to workout, just that I can't afford gyms and all. And
everytime I see exercise machines something else comes to mind. How I can
be tied in various positions on the machine and be used and abused. Well,
keeps the workout interesting.
	Something interesting happened after I read the above-mentioned
story. Normally, I would masturbate 2 to 3 times a day, cause that's the
way I stay sane. And it just feels so good to get off, especially after a 3
hours session. No, you didn't read wrong and I didn't write wrongly. Often
I'd go pumping my rod (if it can be called that at such length) for 3 hours
while I am reading stories in the Archive, and the orgasm after one of
these sessions are mind-boggling, earth-shattering, knees-buckling, and
there was once when it was insanity-reducing. I actually laugh during
orgasm! Too much endorphin I guess. However, after that story, when I came,
it almost felt obligatory, and a little guilty. It was like I was supposed
to cum because I was ordered to, but since I wasn't, it felt a little
guilty. I know I am not making sense, but I haven't masturbated in two days
now.
	I had this experience of being an online slave to a Master in
Canada. We normally had cyber sex via ICQ. He would order me what to do and
I'd do it. Once, he had my balls tied with strings, a couple of clothepegs
clamped on my nipples, a vibrator up my ass, and then ordered me to use ice
to rub my testicles. Damn that hurt, but not as much as the clothepegs he
had me put on them while my balls are still tied! When he allowed me to cum
finally, it was a blast! Strangely he doesn't ask me to do anything
anymore. Maybe he has grown tired of me. Too obedient some said. No fun.
	One other thing that really makes me go quesy is the idea of a
slave training center. I know that a few do exist in some parts of the
world, but this story in the Archive that goes by the title Boyz Brutal
Training School was a good unfinished story. Imagining myself as one of the
students there is one of my favourite fantasy. I even at one time or
another thought that I might have what it takes to build a place like that,
maybe even a country. But then again I am too submissive to do anything
about my abilities. I'd just sit around jacking off most of the time. I
learnt masturbation a little later than most other people, so I suppose I
am making up for lost time.
	Everybody has a comfort zone. I have been in mine for far too long
and it is getting to my sanity. When I first read the story A Slave's Life
in the Archive (I am not trying to promote stories here, just a reference),
the idea of being kidnapped scared the living daylight out of me. But right
now I don't think that I'd care that much. You see, since it is so hard for
me to make decisions and leave behind my comfort zone, I think that being
forced and taken would be so much easier. Or maybe I am just trying to find
the easy way out. Always.
	I used to say no to relocations. I even had an offer from a Master
in Greece. Right now, I can't really wait to leave. The only problem is
that I do not have anywhere to go or does not have the means to leave just
yet. Maybe some days when the sun rises on the west and sets in the east.
	So this is the end for now. Thanks for reading, and sorry for
wasting your time. Don't know if there I will follow up on this story of my
life, although I am quite sure there will be. To all those who feedbacked
to me, thanks a bunch. Your words meant a lot to me. To the Masters who
were interested in me, I am very honoured and flattered. Thank you,
Sirs. Keep the e-mails coming and tell me how you felt about the story. I
will reply to everyone, but if I didn't or don't, then maybe by some
chances I did not get it in my mailbox. Try to send it again. Thanks.