Date: Tue, 3 Mar 2015 09:26:43 -0700
From: Ken Duxbury <kenduxbury52@gmail.com>
Subject: His Twin, Chapter 2 (installment 2)

Chapter Foreword

Thank you for the kind remarks so far.  Very much appreciated!  I promise
things will get heavier into BDSM/etc later.  At this point in my life
things were relatively tame.  All the same legal stuff applies:  If you're
not 18 or it is illegal where you live to be reading this, yada yada.  All
persons are of legal consent age, etc.  I will try to post at least one
chapter per week from now on, but after some happenings I have decided it's
best to move a few hundred miles away from here.   So, be patient, I will
appease you as quickly as possible.  Please feel free to email me with
comments and questions. This work is not to be copied, reproduced, or used
in anyway except for personal reading, without my expressed permission.

Author:  Ken Duxbury 

His Twin
Chapter 2

	I settled into my new life on a new base.  I was stationed at
Ft. Meade, Maryland this time, with Washington DC and Baltimore equal
distance.  It was a large base, with all four branches of the service
stationed there.  I had 4 days off when I first got there to let myself get
situated and acclimated to my new home, so I immediately found the best
location to run, wanting to keep my body in shape.  It was a track that
circled the base's golf course, most of it very secluded, with trees,
brushes and shrubs hiding almost the entire length.  I also got situated at
the base gym as soon as possible, and then I got started organizing my dorm
room. I spent the next two days fiddling with that or this, adjusting
things and furniture.

	It didn't take long for me to get into a reclusive daily swing.  I
would go to work, come home, play a video game or watch TV, then go do my
workout routines, pretty much trying to avoid everyone and everything.
After a few more months, the letter came, I was torn up.  Of course, I
couldn't keep my bawling quiet, so my suitemate Matt, an admittedly
handsome, shorter but muscular ginger guy but one that just reeked of
heterosexuality, came into my room and started asking what was wrong, is
there anything I can do, on and on.  I told him no, but thanks, I just need
time alone.  He looked at me dubiously and studied me for what seemed like
a long time, and I added that really, just fine, just need time alone.

	He walked out and back into his room and shut his door.  It was
rare to shut our doors honestly.  Matt didn't mind me because I was either
quiet or gone, and he was usually in his room with his headphones on
reading when he was home.  Occasionally, his door was shut, and I never
intruded if it was.

	I left the letter on my nightstand for a long time afterward,
reading it each night, and on a Wednesday night I just had no more tears to
shed.  I was still sad, but I had just come to an acceptance emotionally
and logically.  I began pleasuring myself again, feeling somewhat guilty at
first.  I would shut my door, get out my lube, put some on my dick and a
bit on my hole, lay on my bed on my back, then shove in and massage my
prostate while lightly and every so often stroking my cock.  I would
normally bring myself to an intense orgasm, and would have to hide my head
in my pillow as I moaned out in pleasure.

	After a little over a week of this, on a Friday night as I was
working myself to an orgasm and ejaculation, everything went as normal
until I removed my face from the pillow to my side.  Matt was standing
there, studying me intensely.  I was mortified, and scrambled to cover
myself up.  He kind of backed toward the door.

	"Damn...um...sorry man."
	"Ummm...yeah, well..." I stuttered.
	"Look, man, don't worry about it.  We all jack off.  Only thing
that keeps us sane around here."  Matt said jokingly.
	I nervously looked back at his face and eyes, seeing nothing that
looked like judgment, so I relaxed slightly.  "Yeah, I guess...how long
were you standing there?"
	"Long enough to learn a new trick."  He grinned.
	"Ummmm...yeah, well, it feels fantastic if you hit the right spot."
	"Yes.  The whole floor knows how fantastic it feels."  He had a
huge grin on his face.
	I have no idea how red I was at that point, but I probably looked
like a cooked lobster.  "So, how about we keep this between us?"  I
somewhat said and somewhat pleaded.
	He laughed hard at that.  "Don't worry man.  I'll be trying it
soon.  Secret is safe."

	I really relaxed at that, and after a short bit of chat, he turned
to leave.  He stopped in my door and without turning around said "I'm
really glad to see you smile.  Maybe lost love is something we need in our
lives to make us stronger, even if it sucks.  Come out of your shell, you
might find others like you...you never know."  He left the doorway and went
back into his room and shut the door.  I thought about what he said, and
thought he must have snuck in and read the letter from Gary.  Oh well, I
hadn't been kicked out of the Air Force, so I guessed his intentions were
sincere and concerned.  Half an hour later as I was settling down to go to
sleep I heard a "Fuck" come from the direction of his room.  I smiled, and
thought `Glad to be of help.'

	The days progressively got better.  A bit of a spring was coming
back to my stride.  I started reading books, sex books, to learn how to be
a better lover.  I had, ever since Gary, always been embarrassed and
concerned about my dick size.  It's not great.  But, I determined that if I
ever did top, I would be at least able to perform well if I learned all the
tricks I could.  I started going into either DC or Baltimore to venture
into the gay clubs, having turned 21.

	I kept it all on the down low, of course, not wanting to end my
term of service in the Air Force prematurely by getting kicked out for
homosexuality.  I had really come to terms with who I was, thanks to Gary,
and now I was really coming to terms with just what was out there in the
world for me.  I started having fun again, Matt and I would go out to
dinner and lunch frequently.  He never came with me to any clubs, as my
first impression of him was correct.  He was just a cute straight guy.  I
didn't have much sexual attraction to him, and he definitely didn't have
any for me.  He just turned into a very close friend.

	One night, we were eating in the mess hall (as it was close to the
end of the month and neither of us could afford eating off base towards
that time of month).  It was relatively busy, but not busy enough for us to
have a normal conversation.
	"So, you've never talked about it.  But I want to know.  Tell me
about Gary."
	I stopped eating and looked over to him.  I know I had a very sad
look on my face at that point, not angry, just sad.
	"You're going to have to discuss it with someone sooner or later,
Ken.  You know I don't judge you, and it's been long enough.  Go on, get it
off your chest."

	I sighed, took a deep breath and said "Yeah, you're right..." I
told him everything.  I even got into the details of the somewhat kinky
sex, his desire for domination and his rule about masturbation and when I
could cum.  I told him about the special times Gary and I had, about both
the passion and the hard fucking.  I ended it with "...I'll never find
anyone like that again.  It was pure love...".  A tear slowly worked its
way down my cheek.
	"I'm not an expert on man on man love, Ken.  But I've had my share
of girlfriends.  Have you ever dated a woman?"
	"No.  I've taken a friend to the prom, but I guess when I look
back, I never had an attraction to women."
	"No big surprise, but I wasn't asking about your attractions.  I
wanted to know if you were ever in a relationship before."
	"No."  I replied.
	"Well, I have been.  Most people go through this at one point in
our lives.  There are guys out there that would love to be with you, in one
form or another, Ken.  I might be straight, but I can still see how
attractive you are.  Someone will come along.  And if not someone, then a
bunch of someones.  You just need to get back out there."  He said with a
smile.

	I had been looking down at my half uneaten meal, but looked back up
and said "Yeah.  You're right."  I got a warm feeling inside me.  "Too bad
you like tuna.  You don't know what you're missing."  He laughed hard.
"Let's get out of here, I'm not that hungry now and this chow hall food is
shit."  He nodded.

	We went back to our suite.  "Go to your room and get your TV and
VCR on.  I've got a new movie we should watch together."  I nodded, noting
he sounded somewhat dominant in his expression, and my cock stirred
slightly.  I got everything ready, and set some chips out on the coffee
table and a couple Mountain Dews (I knew he was fond of that) next to the
chips, and Matt walked in.  "This one is going to seem kind of strange, but
just go with it and enjoy it.  It's a movie about BDSM, mostly straight..."
My eyes must have been a giveaway to my surprise because he added "...no,
it's not porn, it's just a good movie."

	I turned off my main light, and left my lamp on the nightstand on.
We sat on my bed, pulled the coffee table close and snacked on chips for
the first half hour of the movie.  I was actually getting into it.  It was
about a guy in his late 30s that had never experimented with anything other
than plain vanilla sex, who met a Dominatrix.  It was a British film, and I
was thoroughly enjoying the plot, when Matt shifted, threw some pillows up
against my headboard, and laid back.
	"Here."  He said, patting his chest.
	I looked at him quizzically, and he just laughed lightly and said
"Lay your head on my chest.  This movie gets kind of emotionally intense,
and it's nice to have someone close to you for the next hour or so.  Go
ahead, I'm not going to bite."  I did as he suggested, not really ordering,
but thought it was strange considering his sexuality.  He added "much." As
he wrapped an arm around my shoulders.  I giggled.  Laying there, watching
an increasingly dramatic plot ensue with several different elements of kink
involved, from watersports to what appeared to me to be heavy beatings with
whips and paddles and floggers during very emotionally charged scenes.  I
put my arm around his waist, and sighed.
	"Matt, thank you."  He reached up, patted me on the head and said
"That's what friends are for, Ken.  Now hush."

	The movie ended, and I was struck by how well it was written.  It
ended in a very happy, but rather explicitly kinky, manner.  The Dominatrix
and the main guy (who was now Her submissive) were in Her grand bedroom,
marble, tapestries, hardwood floor...it was a stunningly elegant scene.
She was half sitting on a chaise lounge sofa, and he was laying on his
side, down by her feet, as the camera panned out, both looking lovingly at
one another.  I noticed something steel over his cock, and the camera kept
panning out.

	I grabbed my remote, rewound it just a bit, and paused it so the
steel crotch was visible.
	"What the hell is that??"  I asked to no one.
	Matt chuckled, shaking his head, and responded "That's called a
chastity device.  Sweet jebeezus Ken, you're sheltered."
	Having at least rudimentary English skills, I had an idea what a
chastity device was for.  "So, it keeps him chaste?"
	"Yes.  Most of them lock on.  I went to that huge S&M store in DC
after I first watched this movie.  I was talking to a hot chick that works
there.  Her name is Becky, and I asked her about this scene and described
the metal thing.  I told her I wanted to find out about it because I
thought it was fucking sweet looking.  She told me all about it, how
Dominant Men and Women use them to keep their male submissives sexual urges
under control."
	"Wow..."  I responded, my little cock growing harder each second.
Apparently, I liked this.  "Must hurt, thought?"
	"Well, I guess some of them do.  But there's a supplier that Becky
deals with in Germany.  They make them custom, to the exact measurements of
the client.  She said they are actually very comfortable, so long as the
sub behaves himself."
	"Wow."  I had no other words.

	Matt and I just laid there for a while longer.  I felt him shift
around, then he pulled a blanket over us, reached over and turned off the
light on my nightstand.  We both fell asleep that way, him halfway propped
up by pillows, and me using his chest for a pillow.  I felt kind of bad as
I lay there, taking in his scent.  Then I thought, no, he wants this too.
Just enjoy it.  I dozed off, with my best friends man smell filling my
nostrils for the first time in over a year.

	When I woke up the next morning, he was staring down at me.  I felt
his firmness under my arm that was draped over his waist.
	"Been waiting for you to wake up.  I want to try something with
you, if you're game, but you need to trust me, ok?"
	I groggily nodded `yes', and he reached down and opened his zipper.
I was starting to feel kind of odd, when his arm around my shoulders
tightened and he said "Remember the two guys in the movie last night, and
that scene where that one guy started pissing in the other guys mouth, but
the other guy ran away from it?"  I nodded nervously.  "Well, we're going
to do that now, except you're not going to run away.  But I want you to ask
me for it.  Do this for me Ken."
	"I'm not really into wat..."
	"I didn't ask if you were into it.  I want it, with another guy,
and the only guy I trust to do this with is you.  I want to know what it
feels like to have that power over another male, just once.  Try it.  For
me?"
	I laid there nervously thinking for a moment, remembering what he
did for me last night.  "Ok, Matt, for you.  I will.  Please let me
drink..." I paused for a few moments "..let me drink from your cock, Matt."
He grinned, and pulled an ample hardon out of his pants.
	"Just put your mouth on it and lock your lips around it.  I'll do
the rest."  I did so, and a minute or so later, I felt the first trickle of
his morning piss in my mouth.  I screwed my eyes shut, thinking this to be
revolting, but not backing off.  Surprisingly, it really wasn't all that
bad.  It was warm, had a strong but not all together bad flavor.  He
started really letting go, and I started guzzling down his piss as fast as
I could.  Finally, the stream slowed and stopped.  I finished swallowing,
and then he got rock fucking hard.  His cock was at least a respectable 8"
hole wrecker, nice and thick.  I was so hard I was leaking pre cum, and had
already leaked quite a bit onto my underwear and jeans.  Nice big wet spot,
that kept growing.  "Fuck...that's amazing...you just swallowed my
piss...wow..."

	I sat back up off his chest, humiliated and squirming, getting
ready to get up.  My thought was `shit...there goes a friend...', when he
grabbed my arm, and pulled me down to kiss me on the lips lightly, not
exchanging tongue.  Just an affectionate peck on the lips.  I was kind of
dumbfounded for a few minutes, but got over it as he smiled.
	"I'm sorry Ken.  I just needed to try that.  It was amazing, thank
you."
	"Umm...yeah, sure.  Not a problem...I'm going to go brush my teeth
now."  He giggled as I walked out of the room, and I was still unsure what
to make of that exchange.

	Thankfully, that didn't end our closeness.  We would still watch
movies and be cuddle buddies, but we both knew that it was just a mutual
desire to be close to someone, regardless of their sex.

	I started going out more to the gay clubs.  I even started
accepting the advances made towards me.  Only, they were all from cute,
smaller guys.  Bottoms.

	I was at the Fireplace one night, and this absolutely adorable
blond boy that was half my height and not even half my muscle mass kept
smiling at me and following me around while I cruised the older leather
guys.  I figured what the hell, and stopped by the bar.  The kid came up to
me, kind of cautiously.  He had apparently noted that I was cruising the
big, muscular leather dudes.  I wasn't getting anywhere with them, so I
went for it and started a conversation with blondie.  He was flitting
around while we talked, fidgeting really, and acting less than masculine.
I just rolled my eyes when he blurted out "I really want to have sex with
you."
	"You're a bottom."  I stated more than asked.
	"Well, duh..."
	I didn't respond right away.  I stood there for a minute, staring
directly in his eyes, my mind working overtime.  I remembered what Gary
used to do to deliberately put me on edge emotionally, right before he
would take my pants down and fuck the hell out of me.  Then I said "That
wasn't a question, and you better keep your responses polite, bitch."

	His eyes grew huge.  I continued.
	"Ok.  Here's what's going to happen.  I am going to finish my
drink.  Then we are going to my car.  You will tell me how to get to your
home.  On the way there, strip.  No touching your cock.  You want to have
sex?  Fine.  But it will be about my pleasure.  If you get off on it by
some chance, good for you.  If not, of fucking well.  Got it?"  I did
enquire with the last sentence, making sure he was willing.  He nodded, not
saying anything more.  I finished my drink and we left.

	On the way to his house, sure enough the horny little slut did as I
said.  He folded his clothing up, placed his underwear right on top.  I
reached over while driving, grabbed the pink (yes, the little fairy was
wearing a pink men's thong...fuck...) thong he had on and put it in my
center compartment and said "That's mine now.  Spoils of war go to the
victor and all...".  He sat there quietly.

	We pulled up to his house, and lights were on, so I asked if anyone
was home.  He said it was his brother.  I smiled and said to act naturally
and go with it; I wanted to humiliate him a little bit.  I told him when we
got inside to introduce me as his Man, Ken, to his brother.  He nodded.

	As we walked in, blondie did as I told him.  His brother looked up
from the couch with a questioning look.
	"Don't mind us.  I'm here to fuck my boy now.  I'm sure you won't
mind the noise?  Good, I didn't think so.  He'll probably be moaning like a
whore within 2 minutes, so just ignore us."  I nonchalantly said as I
slapped blondie on his ass then told him to get to his room.

	His brother looked stunned and a tad bit angry.  "Don't worry,
he'll be fine, I'm not an asshole and he'll be on cloud nine in no time.  I
just wanted to embarrass the cute little shit, no harm no foul."  I stated
and turned and walked to blondies bedroom, not quite closing the door all
the way.  I was fucking him in no time, doggy style, after eating out his
tiny little cute ass, and realized that reading all those sex books must
have really paid off.  My small cock was smashing his prostate.  He was
moaning and squirming and panting in absolute delight, begging for me not
to stop.  I was hammering at his boy nut constantly, I could feel him
tensing up, then relaxing as he was trying not to cum just from getting
fucked.  After half an hour, out of the corner of my eye, I could see his
brother peeking in, watching me pound the hell out of blondie.  I felt the
kid's hole tense up and "Ahhhhhhhfuuuuuccckkkmmmeeee..." As my little
conquest came, hands free from the serious pounding his prostate was
taking.  "Oh fuck.." I heard a soft exclamation and saw the brother's
shadow slinking down the hall after a minute.  What fun.  I bet his brother
came while watching that.

	I finished up fucking his ass, pulled out and came all over his
ass, flopped blondie on his back planted my mouth on his and had a very
long passionate kiss.  I pulled back, and his eyes were kind of glazed
over, he looked like he was in a dream.  "Well, that was a nice,
unexpected, diversion.  Nice and tight.  Great little pussy you got
there...?"
	"Sean."  He finished, dreamily.
	"Well, Sean, we will have to do it again soon.  I'll get your
number from your brother.  You just lay there and relax.  You need it."  He
just moaned in pleasure and lust as I got dressed and walked out.  I
noticed a white spot on the beige carpet just outside the bedroom, and
grinned wickedly.

	His brother was back on the couch.  "Enjoy the show?"  I said with
a huge grin.  "You better get a carpet cleaner.  You don't want cum stains
on the carpet."  The brother wouldn't look at me directly, just nodded.  "I
need Sean's number.  So I can do another number.  On his pussy."  When the
brother didn't move right away, I added "NOW!"  He jumped up, quickly got a
paper and pen out of a drawer, scribbled down a number, and sheepishly gave
me the paper.  "Thanks.  Be seeing you again, soon, cutie."  And then I
walked out, huge smile on my face.


	As I was driving back to the base, I was kind of chuckling to
myself.  `Where the fuck did that come from?  Wow that was fun...' I
thought to myself, deciding right there that I wasn't going to be letting
anyone at my back door again.  That, I decided, was Gary's territory.  And
since Gary was gone from my life, so was the bottom in me.  Obviously, if
Sean's state I left him in was any indication, I was a damned good top.
Maybe not hung...but there's ways around that, as I just proved.  `Going to
have to get a dildo for the looser ones', I thought.  And I had a hell of a
good time.  Mind made up, I made my way back to base.

	At first, I told Matt to mind his own business about Sean.  I
ignored questions, and when he persisted, I got pissed and told him to fuck
off once.  I apologized for it later, of course, but Matt seemed to change
a bit after that.  Days turned to weeks, weeks to months.  I hung out with
Matt and his new girlfriend Becky (from the S&M shop), fucked the hell out
of Sean, and everything was nice for a while.  Matt at one point, after I
had introduced them, asked me if Sean was something special.  I decided to
open up a bit and I explained to him that no, Sean wasn't what he was
thinking.  Sean was a fuck buddy, and he and I had been over that.  We were
both fine with it, neither one of us wanting to get tied down.  Matt didn't
seem pleased about that, but accepted it.

	Matt and I still had our cuddle times.  I was really grateful for
his friendship.  It was so easy.  No judgment.  Just two friends that were
close enough to feel natural touching the other.  Until one night.

	Matt was lying in his normal spot.  I was lying in my normal spot,
head on his chest.  It was mid-summer, and was a very hot evening.  I had
stripped down to my underwear (incidentally that pink thong I took from
Sean...it was hot knowing my little conquest wore them), and Matt was in
his boxer briefs.  We were watching a particularly violent and sexual
French film about a bank heist.  It was pretty intense, the action parts
being even somewhat gory, and the sex parts being more along the lines of
force.  I was intrigued, and so was my cock, at the intensity of the sex.
I was hard in that tiny little thong, which I had wore and washed enough
that the fabric was getting pretty worn.  I hadn't noticed it, but Matt was
steel hard.

	When the movie was over, both of us just laid there in the same
position, sweating (not sure if it was the heat or sexual excitement) for a
few minutes.  I was panting in addition to sweating.  "Holy fuck that was
int..." was all I got out.  In less time than it took to think, Matt had
jumped on me while I was pressed into the mattress on my back, and jammed
his pelvis in my ass, spreading my legs apart, throwing his mouth on mine
in a savage kiss.

	"Just shut up.  Don't say a word, I need to do this..."  Matt
growled.  Actually growled.

	I was a little more than shocked in silence, actually kind of
afraid, but I managed to finally squeak out "Matt, no, don't..."

	As I struggled and tried to get away, he grabbed a fistful of my
hair and shoved the thong's ass strap aside, yanked his fat 8 incher out of
his boxers, and just shoved it all the way in me while he planted his mouth
on mine.  I was terrified, truly.  This was my warm, helpful, considerate
best friend.  And he was on top of me, forcefully penetrating my ass and
mouth at the same time, while he snarled out in a savage fury.  My scream
died out into a quiet sob.  He took me, he fucked me.  He didn't ask.  He
just forced it in me.  Over and over, raw and without lube, he battered my
now bleeding boyhole.  I laid there and took it.  I couldn't do anything.
I didn't want to scream anymore, for fear of someone coming in and seeing
me getting raped.  I laid there after a few more minutes of struggling,
then just laid back and took what he gave.  I was in so much pain.  It
never turned to pleasure.  I whimpered slightly.  "Shut up, bitch, you know
you wanted me...I see how you look at me with those puppy eyes...you just
want my cock in your cunt...yeah, that's what it is, it's a cunt, it's not
an ass...only men have asses...you have a cunt...now take my fucking cock
you fucking little dicked fag..."  He let go of my hair and started
punching me in the face, on my chest, my abs, digging his nails into my
tender ass cheeks, biting my feet and drawing blood.  He growled and
snarled and spat at me.  He was like a wild animal.  I had never seen him
like this; it was like he was furious at me for some reason.  I had never
seen anyone like this.  Once again, I was cowed into submission.  Taking my
pain for his pleasure.  I finally turned my head and softly wept into the
bedding while Matt, my best friend, raped me.

	After what seemed like hours but was actually only quarter of an
hour, he threw his head back, roared loud, and blew his load inside me.  It
felt like a gallon of cum.  He collapsed on top of my muscular, broken
body.  I laid there, my cock understandably soft throughout the entire
ordeal too terrified to move or say anything.  Almost too terrified to
breath.  "Yeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhh..."  He growled out.  I started trembling,
long since cried out.  He felt the tremors under him, and finally raised
himself up.  He looked into my eyes harshly.

	"I don't feel remorse for what I did Ken.  I wanted that.  I needed
it.  I had to have you.  Becky would never understand this urge.  Fuck, she
would probably have me in jail.  Then again, she's never done anything to
deserve it.  But you won't, will you?  No, you won't.  Whether you realize
it or not, you needed this too.  This is how bad I felt when you wouldn't
let me in.  When I asked you what was wrong, and you told me to fuck off.
More than once.  I just wanted to help you.  And you shunned me.  I have
been angry for a while about that.  Maybe now, now that you realize there
are consequences for treating people like shit, you will be more open and
caring.  Let people in..."

	He trailed off, and when I turned my head, he grabbed it, turned it
back to face me and look directly in my eyes, slapped my cheek not so
easily, and continued.  "Now get your useless cunt cleaned up.  I'm hungry
and you're driving.  And paying."  He wrenched his still hard cock out of
my ass, got up and padded into the bathroom.  I stayed there for a few
minutes, then reached down and felt my tore up and severely throbbing hole.
I pulled my hand up, and it was covered in blood and cum.  I was ashamed.
Ashamed at the rape, but also ashamed knowing that Matt was right about one
thing.  I had acted like a jerk to him.  I had acted like an absolute piece
of trash to him, as a matter of fact.  He had only ever offered kindness
and support, and I had repaid that by going so far as to tell him to fuck
off.  I'm not a very good friend.  I'm not a very good person.  Those two
thoughts went through my mind.

	I gingerly got up from my bed, looked down and saw a huge blood
spot from where Matt had punched in dry and battered my anus to bleeding.
I waited until the sound of running water in our shared bathroom stopped,
and then went in.  Matt was just finishing up cleaning himself up, cleaning
my blood and his cum off him.

	"Get cleaned up.  We don't need to speak about this ever again.
Just no more bullshit.  You know what happens now.  Take it like a man,
Ken, you fucked up and paid for it.  And maybe you should treat Sean with
more dignity.  He's not just an ass to fuck, you know.  He has a heart like
any other human.  Wear that faggy thong you got on now...as a matter of
fact wear it for the next week.  You're not the butch guy you pretend to
be...you're a raped, bred fag, bitch and that thong fits you perfectly.
Now hurry up."  I did as I was told, the submissive in me taking over as a
way of protecting myself from further assault, figuring if I did as he
wished, I would be ok.  I looked in the mirror and saw the damage on my
face.  Black eye forming.  Bruised and bloodied lips.  Bruises were forming
all over my chest and abdomen already.

	Cum was still seeping out of my distended hole the next day, and I
walked funny for at least a week, constantly wincing everytime I sat down.
Taking a dump was an exercise in pain control...or rather screaming
control.  Matt really wrecked me, and as hot as that might sound to some,
it most definitely wasn't at the time.  I was quiet the entire time and
from then on when around him, only responding when he asked me a direct
question, and never offering an opinion, and never trying to distance
myself from him.  As time went on, I tried to act as if nothing had
happened, and so did he.  But, both of us knew.  I HAD learned my lesson,
the hard way.  He stopped bringing movies over.  We stopped our cuddle
sessions.  He spent more time with Becky, and I broke things off with Sean
(who, I figured was seeing someone else anyway as I had started spending
less time with him after everything).  Pretty soon, we both kept our doors
closed all the time.  The trust on both sides was gone.

	I healed fast from the bruises and cuts and bloodied lips, but my
emotions didn't heal so fast.  I busied myself with the gym and running.
The pumping blood seemed to always clear my head and give me a sense of
peace.  Occasionally, there would a dude running on the path checking me
out, and after a few minutes in the bushes and me cumming in his ass, we
would go on about our business.  I stopped going to gay clubs, and just did
my own thing.  With one difference from before.  If someone wanted in, I
let them.  I could still see Matt's glare, his snarl of contempt.  So I let
them in.  It was actually good for me in the long run as I started making
more friends.  I kept the sex limited to five tricks per week, again never
bottoming.

	After a while, I swore that I would never bottom again.  No man
would ever touch my ass, even if he just wanted to please me.  A few tried,
but after a bent back wrist and them running off, me scowling at them, they
didn't go near it again if they had the guts to approach me again.

	My date to decide if I wanted to stay in or get out of the military
came.  I chose to get out.  When I look back, this was the most cowardly
decision I have ever made.  But, I cannot regret it.  Before I left, Matt
did come over.  It was the morning I left.

	"Hey."
	"Hi, Matt.  What can I do for you?"  I asked timidly.
	"Nothing.  There is nothing you can do for me, Ken.  But there is
something you can do for yourself.  I've noticed.  You let people in now.
You let them enjoy you.  That's a good thing.  So, keep doing it for
yourself.  And..."
	I was a bit red in the eyes at that point, and when he didn't
continue I coaxed him, not expecting an apology, but wanting a truce. "I
know Matt.  I wish I had acted differently.  And I wish you had acted
differently.  But it happened.  And I know why.  I don't hate you.  I
really don't."
	This time, it was his eyes that teared up.  "I know Ken.  I wish
the same.  But, you need to know this.  I did want you.  Not as a
boyfriend.  I wanted to have what I got.  Although I didn't want to take
you that rough.  But I had planned on taking you one way or another for a
while, and what set me off was the way you were acting.  I'm not going to
apologize Ken.  But I want you to walk away with this.  I still do love
you, not in a gay way, but as a friend.  That never went away, but I knew
you couldn't be around me anymore.  I regret that you don't feel that way
about me, but it's not necessary.  I don't hold bad feelings toward you.  I
hope you can return that."

	I thought deeply and stopped packing my suitcase.  I stood up,
turned and walked over to him.  "Ok.  I will return that.  But, would you
do something for me?"  He nodded.  I leaned forward, mouth open.  He leaned
forward as well, mouth open.  We kissed deep.  He put his arms around me,
and I did the same.  We stayed like that, tears running down our faces, but
stayed lip locked for a few minutes.  It is possible, I thought, for
someone to act so cruel, and be so out of character for who they truly are,
to be someone that you can still love.  Sexual orientation be damned, and
victim or victimizer be damned.  We were both as guilty as each other.  And
I thought that both of us had beaten ourselves up enough over it.

	We parted, looked at each other, and said in unison "I'm sorry."
	"I do love you as a friend, Ken.  And I am sorry."
	"I love you as a friend, Matt, and I'm sorry too."

	We smiled at each other, composed ourselves, and with a brightened
mood, he helped me pack, chatting about this or that, mostly about what I
hoped for the future and what he had planned for the future.  His
relationship with Becky, it appeared, had started going in a really good
direction.  She was more domineering towards him as of late, and he was
enjoying it.  He helped me take everything that hadn't been already sent
home to my car.

	"Take care of yourself, Matt."
	"Take care of yourself too, Ken.  Maybe we will run across each
other again someday."
	"You never know.  I have heard of it happening before, more than
once.  Friends?"
	"Friends."

	We hugged, no tears, but a bit of sadness in both our faces.  I got
in my car, and pulled away, watching Matt waving in my mirror, with my arm
out the window waving back as I drove off, off base, onto the interstate,
and turned west to my next destination.  My old home.  It was time to clear
up some issues with my family and friends, and as I drove, I started
steeling my resolve against what I knew was to come.

Chapter 2 End

Authors Thoughts:

Originally, I had intended to spice things up a bit with some inserted
fiction in Chapter 2, more than Chapter 1 but still keeping the basis,
story, and lessons learned as close as possible to factual.  But then I
started writing it, and I realized if I did it would be a tldr chapter, and
some stuff happened to me at this time (as you can see) that drastically
impacted the next 20 years of my life, right up to today.  Almost as much
as the events from the first chapter did.  Not to mention, it was a very
trying time in life and I think if I would have added much, it would have
taken away from the finishing events of this part of my life.  Also, my
heart goes out to anyone that's ever been forcefully taken against their
will.  There was never actually much in the way of words.  Most of what was
said was unspoken or spoken later.  It's true that I did want that person
originally, but after developing what we did, I didn't and my feelings had
changed.  Only someone that has had this happen to them can understand the
complex emotions that go along with it.  It's not a good thing, no, never.
But, as with anything else in life, you learn from it.  It is entirely
dependent on your perspective in that case, what you take away from it.

Next chapter: The wild, wild west is going to get more wild.