Date: Sat, 28 Jul 2001 06:37:35 -0700 (PDT)
From: hugh questorius <questorius@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: The Humiliator.  Chapter 26

Chapter Twentysix

The True Nature of S/M

Perhaps this is a good point to pause and reflect on the true nature of the
master/slave relationship, which is not quite as obvious as commonly
believed.

Ask anyone to define the meaning of "sadist" and they will come back very
quickly with something to the effect "someone who gets sexual pleasure from
inflicting pain".  Everyone knows that - and everyone is wrong, or at least
missing the real point.  Pain really is not the OBJECT.  Pain is merely one
MEANS to achieve the true aim of the sadist, which is power and domination.

By the same token, the masochist craves submission.  But it is not enough
for the sadist to say "I am your master", he must demonstrate his power,
just as the slave must demonstrate his obedience.  The question is, how?

The absolute, fundamental basis of a master/slave relationship is that the
slave is permanently available for sexual use, whether he is in the mood or
not.  In the majority of S/M relationships this first rule does not apply,
which means that what you have is two consenting adults PLAYING AT being
master and slave.  Well, there is nothing wrong with that provided both
parties are playing the same game, in effect saying "I'll pretend to be
your master and you pretend to be obedient and submissive to my demands."
To which the "slave" replies, "Yes sir, I'll do anything you want -
provided it is not too extreme of course and provided it is something I
like."

This is why most S/M affairs are unsatisfactory.  Either the master demands
more than the slave is prepared to give, or, worse still, demands less of
the slave than is wanted. Either way, when the "let's pretend" slave has
had enough, he will say so and leave.

In the (much rarer) true S/M relationship, that never happens.  The slave
is available to his master until he is finished with and dismissed.  Of
course there are times when the slave is exhausted/ has a hangover/ is
starting a cold and feels completely un-sexy.  In such a mood, if his
master reaches for him, even the genuine slave might shrug away, wanting
nothing more than to be left in peace.  But if he has a real master, that
is not an option.  If his master wants a fuck, then his master takes a
fuck.  It is as simple as that, for a true master is not a nice man. He is
not considerate.  He is greedy and selfish and demanding - the typical
dominant male!

Although this right of a master to fuck his slave on demand is absolute, he
will also seek other ways to prove his dominance, and here begins the
process of escalating demands designed to probe the limits of his power.
Does he have the right to demand that the slave shall do more than
passively submit?  Can he demand active submission?  "Suck my cock" he
orders, and the slave obeys.  OK, how about this then, "Lick the muck-sweat
from my armpits" or "Drink my piss".  Again, the slave is eager to
demonstrate his obedience.  The master is disgusted by such submissive
depravity and decides it must be punished.  He picks up a cane or strap and
requires his slave to bend over the arm of the sofa and take six of the
best.

"Aha!" you say, "so now we do get to the pain bit after all. A sadist is a
man who likes to inflict pain, just like I said."  But no, the real point
is that the slave has been ordered to offer his arse to the cane and is
doing it, voluntarily, not because he is eager for the pain but because he
is eager to demonstrate his submission to the dominant male, even at the
cost of pain.

Does that mean that the beating can be a mere token - a series of light
taps?  Oh no!  The beating must hurt, and, what is more, it must hurt
rather more than the slave wants it to.  Only then can he show his
obedience to his master's will by remaining in position until the
punishment is complete, even though it hurts too much!  And afterwards, any
true masochist will not need to be told what to do, he will automatically
slip to his knees, take the hand that still holds the cane and kiss it in
true humility, even kissing the cane itself, the very instrument of his
suffering!

"That is all very well" you might object, "when the victim is free and
voluntarily submits to the pain, but what about when he is strung up to
meat hooks, naked, defenceless, perhaps even hooded, while a sadist whips
him about the body?  Are you saying that the flogger is not enjoying the
pain he is inflicting?  Enjoying the cries of pain? the body writhing and
twisting? the sound of leather impacting flesh? the livid weals slashing
across whipped skin?"

No, of course I am not saying that.  Certainly he is enjoying all those
things.  But he is enjoying something else much more - the thrilling
awareness of power.  The power to flog another man, the power to make his
victim jerk and dance under the lash, the power to make him scream and
whimper and beg for mercy, the power to sign his name on that helpless
flesh in raised welts.  And what of the "victim" as you call him.  Do you
suppose he did not know what was in store when he suffered his wrists to be
bound?  He surrendered himself to the lash knowingly and willingly, but the
pleasure was in the surrender rather than in the pain.

The sadist gets his kicks from domination and the exercise of brute power,
the masochist from submission and obedience, but paradoxically this can
easily turn into a situation where the masochist is in control and the
master finds himself manipulated into doing what the slave wants.

"Piss all over me" begs the slave and the master who gets a thrill of power
from pissing over his victims is happy to oblige.  But who is using whom?
This paradox is best summed up in the old joke:

 "Beat me, beat me" said the masochist, "No!" said the master!

Indeed it takes an experienced and skillful master to avoid this trap of
being used to serve his slave's hunger for humiliation, for a master who
fails to meet that need will not keep his slave for long, but a master who
lets his slave call the shots is not in control.  A man like the Brigadier
is a rarity indeed, for he has such a natural authority and command that he
can afford to meet his slave's wishes occasionally, with no loss of
control.  If he does what his slave asks of him, there is never any doubt
that he does so because it suits him.  But even The Humiliator found it
occasionally necessary to administer a sharp rebuke if he felt his slave
was getting too pushy.  (See the Chapter "Calculated Cruelty" which
describes exactly this situation.)

So, if the exercise of brute power is what turns the sadist on, what about
the masochist?  What's in it for him?  Well, what he gets is the euphoric
pleasure of complete surrender. He doesn't have to think, or plan, or
compete, or be responsible.  He abdicates from worry and responsibility
into a warm marshmallow world where all he has to do is submit and obey.
Let someone else take the decisions.  He regresses into a childlike state
of dependence.

This happy state is not gained without cost though.  There are arbitrary
demands, stern controls, harsh repressions, degrading practices, sudden
punishments, shameful humiliations to be endured.  None of which may be
questioned. His life is governed by the three rules of slavery; submission,
submission and submission.  And that is the way he likes it.

However it is not an easy option to be the weaker partner.  Paradoxically,
(yes, another paradox) it requires real strength.  Physical strength to
stand up to the demands of the master, but even more important, it demands
strength of character.  It takes courage, and dedication, and commitment.
And SELF discipline too!

Consider this: you go to a man and he strips you, beats you and sexually
abuses you.  Later, he demands that you return for a second visit.  In the
case of going to The Humiliator, that meant a three hour drive.  Do you
imagine it is easy to drive for three hours to a destination where you know
you will be obscenely maltreated, degraded and tortured?  Even though the
idea of such mistreatment excites you, it is not easy.  Your bowels heave,
your stomach clenches, your mouth dries. And when you actually arrive, you
get out of the car and your legs shake uncontrollably.  You have to force
yourself to walk to the door, concentrating on putting one foot in front of
the other.

No, serving a man like that is not easy and is no job for the faint
hearted.  It takes guts to be a slave!

But once you are in there and he has you stripped down before him, and you
feel his strong hands groping your flesh, taking possession of you, ah!
then, as you surrender yourself to him, you know it was worth the anguish
and the struggle.  What is more, you actually hope that he will make
extreme and unreasonable demands on you, for how else are you to show the
totality of your submission to him.  How else can you prove that you are
his obedient slave, eager to serve him?

Power and submission, THAT's what S/M is about.