Date: Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:14:25 -0700 (PDT)
From: MASTER bndmaster13 <bndmaster13@yahoo.com>
Subject: "I Had No Idea" Part 33

			 "I Had No Idea" - Part 33
			      (Jose's Story)
			BY - BNDMaster13@yahoo.com

All rights reserved. Other than downloading one copy for personal
enjoyment, no part of this story may be reproduced or transmitted by any
means, except for reviews, without the written permission of the author.
Comments on the story are appreciated and may be addressed to the author,
BNDMaster13@yahoo.com. This story contains descriptions of consensual
sexual contact between adult males. As such it is homoerotic, designed for
the entertainment of mature adults. If you are not of legal age to read
such material, or if the subject matter would create unresolvable personal
moral dilemmas, please exit now.


    It has amazed me how many people want to know more about Jose. I
suppose I really shouldn't be though, Jose is an integral part of Alex's
journals. Which is the way it should be.  Jose is part of our little
family. I know I talk about Alex all the time. However, this is Alex's
journal that I have been posting. So it is only natural for me to think and
talk about him when I am adding my part to the narrative. But I want
everyone to know that I have become just as attached to Jose as I am to
Alex. If that sounds strange I am sorry (NOT). I have been with Alex a long
time and he needs me. I love him very much. But Jose needs me just as much
and I have come to love him. Additionally Jose radiates his love for me. I
am the first person in his life that has given him the kind of love he so
desperately needs. Don't get me wrong, Jose is my slave.  Jose needs and
wants to be nothing more. I want and expect him to be nothing more. Being
my slave should be and is the center of his world. But just like Alex, Jose
needs to know he is loved.  So with that in mind I am going to take a break
from our vacation. In fact I am going to take a break from Alex's journal
all together and devote this entry to Jose. Don't panic! We will pick up in
sunny Florida next time, I promise. But for now I think it is time for you,
the reader, to learn a little more about Jose. If you are expecting a
steamy sex scene in this entry, you won't get it. This will be an honest
look at who Jose is and why he is that way. I have asked him to tell you in
his own words what brought him to be my much loved slave and part Alex and
my's family. So instead of my usual, over to my dear Alex, instead let's
turn this over to my dear Jose:

    How do I write this? Master Rick has asked me to write about myself. I
hate writing. I am not very good at it. But Master Rick said he would go
back and fix any mistakes I might make and proof it before he posted
it. Still if my Master wasn't making me do this, I wouldn't.

    Where do I start? My name is Jose. I belong to Master Rick. I am his
slave. I love him very much and would do anything for him. He took me in
and has made me a part of his family. I feel like I belong somewhere and
have people that love me. It has been a long time since I could say
that. Don't get me wrong, I am a slave. That is what I want to be. But
having a wonderful Master like Master Rick and a brother like Alex is the
best thing that has ever happened to me!

    I was born in Austin, Texas. Even at a young an age, I knew I liked
guys. It wasn't the cute girls on television I watched. No it was the
guys. Especially when it was some guy tied up. Just seeing some cowboy
being tied up and tortured by the indians made me excited. I remember
almost every time it was my turn to come up with a game it would involve me
getting tied up by someone. There was just one major problem with the fact
that I liked guys, my mother and father were Jehovah's Witnesses. So of
course liking other guys was wrong. It wasn't natural.  God didn't approve
of it and I would die at Armageddon. So it must be Satan giving me those
thoughts and I just needed to fight him by putting them out of my
head. Nice way to feel about your feelings that, as a kid, you really
couldn't explain anyway isn't it.

    I can say one thing about my parents however, the really treated me
like they loved me. My father especially. I loved him dearly and still
do. However, he died when I was 10 years old. That was one of the worst
things that I have ever had happen to me. My dad was everything to me. I
think you get the idea, so I won't beleaguer the point. My mother remarried
about a year latter to a man about 20 years older than she was. He was of
course a Jehovah's Witness. He had very little time or patience for a young
boy, especially one who resented him for coming along and taking his
father's place. So needless to say he was hard on me. I fought him at
first, but eventually found myself working my ass off to get the little bit
of praise he would send my way. I firmly believe that is why I want and
need a Master so badly. I crave that praise I get for enduring the
punishment they give me. That in turn gives me, in some small measure, the
love I miss from my father. Master Rick has helped me learn these things
about myself. I remember the first night Master Rick held me in his
arms. It was the night before he gave me to Alex for his birthday.  Alex
was tied up in the closet that night and Master Rick took me to bed all by
myself, just him and me. He put his strong arms around me and made me tell
him about myself. As I started talking to him, I remember pouring out my
heart. At the time I didn't know what he was studying at college. But now
that I do, I think he will be very good at it. He already is! Master Rick
helped me understand myself better and see why I am the way I am. I love
him so much. I will be his slave forever or until he gets tired of me. That
day I pray never comes because I would be lost without him. He and Alex
have given me exactly what I needed in my life. They have given me a place
to belong and be loved.

    Getting back to my story. Even though the religion forbade it I knew I
was still liked guys. By the time I hit 15 there was no doubt in my mind
that I was gay. As like so many other guys, I found the internet very
helpful in fulfilling my needs. I became extremely attracted to anything
related to Masters and slaves. I started fantasizing about what it would be
like to be owned by a Master. The thought of being tied up and forced to
serve him was exactly what I found I needed.  I encountered a few so called
Masters online but never really got any where. All the so called Masters
wanted was to see me jerk off. That was not what I had in mind.  This went
on until about the time I turned 17. Still actively being the good
Christian young man but secretly wanting to throw it all away and give
myself body and soul to a Master. Of course I knew I could never do this as
God would kill me when he destroyed the world.

    It was about this time that I met a local Master on line. He was quite
a bit older than I was, but he seemed to be everything I was looking
for. In fact, now, I realize that he reminded me of my father, and that was
what attracted me to him.  The Master assumed I had quite a bit of
experience because of the way I presented myself to him. I told him all the
things I had heard the slave in the stories say. I got to know him and it
went so far as getting his address and phone number and scheduling a time
to present myself for inspection.  Needless to say I didn't go to that
meeting but jerked off many times fantasizing about what it would be
like. At the same time a new guy my age moved into our congregation. I was
immediately attracted to him. It was weird, somehow I knew he felt the same
way. We started finding ways to be alone together and one thing led to
another and we had sex. It was incredible! We both felt horribly guilty but
right then we didn't care. I realize now that all we really did was give
each other hand jobs, but still we felt like we were committing a horrible
sin. But despite the guilt, I knew I had finally found what had been
missing in my life. I had found my sexuality. Despite my religion I really
was gay.

    We continued getting together for a couple weeks until his conscience
started bothering him so badly that he went to the Elders in the
religion. That is what all good Jehovah's Witnesses do when they have made
a mistake, they run to a man to get forgiveness. Anyway, the next thing I
knew I was sitting in a room with 3 men and my mother and step father. They
were counseling me on what a horrible thing I had done and how God hated me
and my thoughts. You see the guy I had been with had run to them, told them
how sorry he was, and that it had all been my fault. I tried telling my
side of the story but no one really cared. Finally I lost it as they were
telling me how immoral gay thoughts were. I screamed at them. I told them
they were all a bunch of hypocrites. I accused each of them of feeling the
same way I did or they wouldn't have made me describe in such detail what
we had done. After that I stormed out of the room and started walking
home. So needless to say they kicked me out of the religion. They call it
disfellowshiping.

     By the time I walked all the way to my house my parents were already
home. My things were packed up sitting on the porch. My step father opened
the door just long enough to inform me that since I wanted to be homo, and
was getting kicked out of the religion, then I could just get out of his
house. He then slammed the door in my face. I saw my mother in the window
crying, but I knew it wasn't because he had just kicked me out, it was
because I had turned gay. (Those were the words she had used earlier in
evening) I wanted to scream and pound on the door but what good would that
do? If they hated me what possible reason could I have for wanting back
into that house?

    I picked up my few belongings and started down the street. Where the
hell was I going to go? I ended up that night in a Salvation Army
shelter. At least I had somewhere to sleep and they would even feed me
breakfast the next morning. But somewhere in those dark hours of the night,
when all your demons come to haunt you, my situation dawned on me. I
started crying and couldn't stop. I had nothing! I had no family. I had no
friends. The only constant in my life, my religion was gone. Plus, if the
Elders were correct, they had just cut my out of God's love by kicking me
out of their religion and if the world ended tomorrow he would kill me
because I was gay.

    By the time the sun came up the next morning I was totally
despondent. What would I do? As I opened my wallet to see how much money I
had, a slip of paper fell out. It was the one that I had written the phone
number and address of the Master I had met on line down on. The more I
looked at the slip of paper the more I wanted to be this Master's slave. I
had lost everything. If I was going to die, I might at least go having
tried all the things I had only dreamed about. What did it matter anyway? I
had nothing but the few belongings my step father had put out for me. I
even knew where the address was. I had driven by in my mom's car a couple
times dreaming what it would be like to be a real slave there.

    What did I do? I picked up my things and started walking. Eventually I
found myself in front of the house where the Master lived. It was after 6
at night and there were lights on inside so I walked up to the door. I rang
the bell and when he answered I poured out my story to him and begged him
to let me be his slave. I had nothing, what could I loose, was what kept
running through my head. He looked me up and down as if weighing his
decision. Then he invited me in and with no preamble ordered me to
strip. Suddenly I was faced with all my fantasies coming true and I was
scared shitless. I wanted to run away screaming, but again what else did I
have, so what really mattered. took off my clothes and stood there naked
while he looked me over like a piece of meat.

    I should have followed my instincts and run away. As soon as I was
naked he drug me by the arm through his house, across his back yard, and
into a large garage. It was to be my home for the next 9 months. I had told
him all the things I wanted and he did everyone of them to me. I went from
being a virgin to a full blown slave in the matter of a few days, despite
my begging and protesting along the way. I don't think he ever realized
that I had been a total virgin novice to the scene that first day. But then
again if he did, he wouldn't have cared. I look back on it now and think
that he knew he had 17 year old and if he was in for a penney with me he
might as well be in for a pound. In other words he knew no one would come
looking for me. He knew I didn't have the experience I had told him I did
So he took full advantage of the situation to do all the things he had
always wanted to do. He made it clear that I was the first chained up 24/7
slave he had ever had. He also made it clear that he really didn't give a
shit about me, I was just there for him to play with.

    He taught me a lot however. Because of him I can take the pain levels
that Master Rick gives me. He loved to push me farther and farther ever
time until I started loving the pain and wanting more and more of it. He
took my virgin ass and taught me to accept bigger and bigger plugs until
now I can take anything Master Rick can give me. But what he didn't teach
me was that a Master loves his slave. He cared absolutely nothing for me. I
was simply there for him to use. But somehow, in that, I found a sense of
purpose. If nothing else I could please him with my suffering. I didn't
feel like I was worth anything except when I was suffering at his
hands. During the time I was with him I lost my sense of self and became
nothing more than an object. To be honest I really didn't care.

    He kept me for 9 months and then got tired of all the work a full time
slave required. If he had let me into his house I could have taken care of
him, but that wasn't his idea of what a slave was good for. Anyway, after 9
months, about 1 month after I turned 18, he gave me to Master John.  There
was no ceremony. He didn't ask me. Master John simply turned up one day. My
leg manacle was unlocked. My hands were cuffed behind me and Master John
carried me out of the garage. He took me to the back of his pick up truck
where he had a large tool box. He opened the lid, dropped me in, and closed
it sealing me inside. I didn't even know who he was. All he said to me was
that my Master was tired of me and I was his now. As the truck drove off I
started crying.  I was devastated. The first man, that had in some small
way made me feel needed, had just given me to a total stranger. It was, at
that time, the worst moment in my life. Now I look back on it as the best
thing that ever happened. It was the first step on the road to being owned
by Master Rick.

    We drove for I have no idea how long, but it started getting hot wedged
in that metal tool box.  Finally we stopped and the lid opened. The bright
sun streaming in hurt my eyes as I squinted up at Master John. Again I was
picked up and unceremoniously carried into his barn. Part of his barn was
set up as his play area. In it he had dog cages. He shoved me into one,
closing and locking the door behind me. He informed I had better get used
to it, because unless he was using me this was where I would stay. He
instructed me on where to find food and water, how I could go to the
bathroom, which was through the bars on the bottom of the cage. Once done
with this he simply walked away. This was horrible! I had just been locked
in a cage by a man I didn't even know and told that I would be living like
a dog. What had I done to myself? Obviously this was my punishment for
sinning against God by being gay. That is the mind set that I took on. I
quietly endured everything Master John did to me. It was all I deserved. No
matter how hard I tried I never felt I ever pleased him, I just
suffered. But then in my mind God was punishing me.

    I won't go into the time I was with Master John. He treated me much
more like an animal than a human being. But he did finish my training in
being a real slave. I learned to live only to serve.  He also trained my
body, for which I thank him. He exercised me until I had a body that he
could be proud of. Not that he ever once told me that. No, he just drove me
harder. But I know now he told Master Rick how proud he was of my
body. More importantly Master Rick is proud of my body!

    That brings us up to that fateful night when Master John brought me to
Master Rick's apartment. I really don't even know how to begin. The first
time I saw Master Rick, his eyes looked at me with such concern. It was
like he saw how bad I hurt inside and wanted to fix it.  Then I met Alex!
When he offered himself to save me, that was the most incredible thing
anyone had ever done for me. I saw love in his eyes as he looked
me. Something reawakened inside me that had gone into hiding, the idea of
being loved. I still wanted and craved the torture. That had become a part
of me, but I wanted the love too. I had missed it for so long! When Master
John locked me back in my cage that night I lay there and cried. I sobbed,
longing for Alex and Master Rick's life to be mine. I felt so empty and all
alone. I didn't want this life anymore. I saw that with Alex and Master
Rick their Master slave relationship was based on love. But I had no
choice. I had made my life, now I had to live it.

    You can imagine then my feelings a few days latter when Master Rick
showed up and asked Master John to see me. What could he possibly want?
What he wanted, was to know if I wanted, to be his slave. If I wanted to
come and live with him and Alex. He told me all the things he had seen in
my eyes that first night. Somehow he knew exactly what made me tick and
what I needed.  My answer to him? I am amazed he even heard me I was
sobbing so heavily. I begged him to allow me to be his slave. His answer?
He told me he would talk to Master John and see what he could do.

    Well I guess you know the rest, as far as what happened. Master Rick
talked Master John into letting him have me. Master Rick will tell you that
Master John was getting tired of me. That isn't true. Master John liked
having an extra animal around to use as he needed. All Master John would
tell me is that Master Rick gave him something special in return for my
life. Someday I would love to know what it was, but then again maybe I
don't. Master Rick showed up a few days latter to bring me home. HOME! That
still sounds so good! When Master Rick put me in the front seat of his car
for the drive, I saw something in the back I thought had been lost forever.
It was my bags that held what few possessions my step father had given me
that night so long ago. I hadn't seen them since my 1st Master had drug me
off to his garage. I asked Master Rick for permission to speak, then asked
where he had gotten my things from. As he told me, my heart swelled with
love for this man. He had actually gone back to my first Master and
demanded my bags. Master John had mentioned them to him and he refused for
me to live without them any longer. I thanked him and told him that the
only picture of my father had been in with my stuff and I assumed it was
gone forever. As I started to cry again Master Rick reached across and
stroking my head, then he kissed me. I had never really kissed anyone
before and it was the most wonderful moment of my life. As he pulled away
and I saw the look on his face, I knew I would finally be loved and
accepted with this man as my Master.

    So started my real life! Master Rick has helped me learn about
myself. I am now not just a slave but know why I need to be a slave. Well
not just a slave, but Master Rick's slave. I am no longer guilty of my
sexuality, but he has made me proud of it. In so doing he has made me proud
of myself. At least proud of myself as it relates to being his slave. He
has also taught me that the crock of shit religion I was in was just that A
CROCK OF SHIT! Any religion that cannot accept you for who and what you are
is not a religion that is acceptable to God. You see the God I have come to
believe in made all of us and loves us for who we are, not who men think we
should be.  I hear people in e-mails dis Master Rick. That pisses me off!
Who do you think you are saying anything bad about the best Master in the
world! For the first time I have a real family that loves me. I have a
wonderful Master and a incredible brother who loves me. We are a REAL
family!  Someone asked Master Rick how I felt about Alex. My answer to that
is I love him. I love them both!

    Let me stop Jose here. I think he has done quite a job of telling you
his story. (Very little editing) There was just something about him that
first time I met him. He needed love so badly he radiated it like a
sunburn. My heart went out to him. Then I saw Alex's reaction and I knew I
was right. Alex and I usually react to things the same way. We have been
together so long we think alike. Alex often says he thinks I can read his
mind. Sometimes I think I can. So I knew we had to have Jose that very
first night. What did I give John for him? I would prefer not to say, but
let me put it this way, John has always thought I had a hot ass, now he
knows. He made it extremely hot then felt it from the inside out. Yes, I
was willing to do that to get Jose. I think he has been worth it!

    It took me along time to help him through all his issues but I think
this story proves that my efforts have been worth it. Perhaps I should of
had him write something like this a long time ago.  Let me add one more
thing here. Some of you have wondered if Jose started college last fall
when Alex did. No he didn't. You see, Jose does have a great body. I am
proud of his body and with a lot of work I have made him proud of it
too. The reason he didn't start college is that I managed to land him a
modeling contract. Yes, my Jose is a model. The market in Texas right now
for Latino models is hot. With his looks and body he was a shoe in. I
wonder some times if his so called family and friends in his ex religion
see his picture and think about him? Who knows with self centered
fundamentalist ass holes like that. How anyone could have ever treated such
a wonderful boy like Jose that badly is beyond me. My words to them if they
read this is FUCK YOU!

    This to me is one of those journal entries that I want to hear about. I
know Jose does. He needs to hear from others in his position. He wants to
help them as well as have them reaffirm he is where he belongs. E-mail me
BNDMaster13@yahoo.com. Next time we will go back to Florida and pick up
where we left off.