Date: Wed, 9 Mar 2011 12:20:18 -0800 (PST)
From: Alex <digivampcgr@yahoo.com>
Subject: Inner innuendos from the east coast - Part 1 - Authoritarian

Disclaimer: The following story is inspired and guided by real life events.
If you are offended by descriptions of homosexual acts or power and
surrender scenes, please leave this page.  If you are under legal age of
your country/state please leave now.

Fragments of imagination from the east coast


Chapter 1 - Arrival


"All good things must come to an end", was a thought that constantly echoed
through my mind as I was leaving Washington DC airport on my way back to
California. It seemed as if it was just yesterday when I arrived and yet
almost four weeks have gone by, hardly noticed and thoroughly enjoyed.
Perhaps, enjoyment is not the right word to describe the situation I was
in, but I am not sure a proper word really exists. Every time I try to
think about it I get sidetracked, lost in my reevaluations of the time
spent and the lively experiences therein. Maybe, I will have more luck this
time as I share it with you.

Now, that these four weeks of vacation are almost behind me, I cannot but
ask myself, how was it? I wish I had a simple answer, but nothing I think
of gives it justice it deserves. Instead, I will try to describe it best I
can through the different views and opinions I formed during my stay.
Perhaps it would be best if I were to start chronologically.

My arrival was quite frustrating due to the delays with the airline. Each
additional hour of delay added another layer of anxiety, as I eagerly
anticipated first real life meeting with my future Master. By the time
slave arrived at the scene, it felt clumsy and nervous. As it walked away
from baggage claim it spotted Master sitting on a nearby bench.

Coming from the side, slave had a moment to observe its future Master
without being noticed itself. His rather burly build did not phase slave at
all; the face was not revealing much, as it actively scanned the crowd for
me. Despite slave being four hours late, Master seemed stoically patient
and surprisingly calm. True, slave had the chance to notify Master of the
flight delays in advance, but it still felt ill at ease at less than
fortunate circumstances.

The gray hair indicated a man of many worries and responsibilities, roughly
in His late forties, wearing plain blue jeans and a t-shirt. Accompanying
Master was another man, supposedly Master's long time submissive, mouse. In
his mid thirties, mouse had a large dense beard and wore a similar set of
clothes. Protruding from His neck line was a small chain, half tucked away
under the t-shirt. The two of them were exchanging few words every once in
a while, but otherwise kept busy by scanning the busy hallway.

Gathering my resolve, I swallowed the lump in the back of my throat and
marched forward to them. Half way there, Master spotted me and His eyes
locked on me. A small smile crept on His face, but otherwise neither of
them moved. I moved in front of Master, opened my carryon baggage and
pulled out a spiked leather collar I have been saving for this very
occasion. Words seemed stuck in my throat and would not be voiced. Hours on
the plane, reviewing and thinking on what and how to say, completely
wasted. It kneeled in front of Master, paralyzed, offering its collar; the
only one it had; trying to summon its voice and say something. The mind
went blank, nothing seemed appropriate and it just stared there, pleading
with its eyes for Master to take action; any kind of action that would move
time forward and end the eternal time loop slave seemed to be stuck in. It
may not have registered with Master, but that relatively short moment
seemed infinite in slaves mind.

As time got unstuck, Master proceeded to collar the slave and cuff its
hands with neoprene cuffs, slave felt enormous weight lifted off its
back. So much, that it forgot its place and sped up to catch up with
Master, inadvertently falling out of its intended place, two feet behind
Master on the left, which Master dutifully corrected. At this point, slave
was not sure what to expect any more. Small chit chat driven mostly by
mouse seemed out of place to slave and it dared not respond in any way, not
sure if it would be considered inappropriate and perhaps warrant later
punishment. As we made our way to what appeared to be a van, slave was put
in the back, steel handcuffs, ankle cuffs and a black hood strapped on,
left to its own thoughts. An hour long trip was ahead of us; plenty of time
in the comforting darkness of a blindfold for slave to reevaluate its
desires, position and what it now seemed inevitable and yet unknown future.

Has it made a mistake? No, probably not, but how can one be sure? Where was
it being taken? Master's home? Hopefully so, but it had no idea, what if He
was lying or if He changed His plans? I tested the strength of the cuffs on
me; unlike the neoprene cuffs, these were real.  As it realized just how
limited its options were are at this point, dark thoughts swirled around in
slaves mind, threatening to burst into flames of fear; its only comfort
resting in a feint trust formed online and the curiously calming effect of
the pitch black provided by the blindfold. It seemed neither running nor
fighting was an option with the cuffs on. It could easily be subdued and
there were two of them. At least the hood wasn't buckled so I could remove
it in case I had to defend myself. At first, like in many stories I have
read I have tried to keep track of the direction we were headed and a sense
of time. I had found that an impossible task and quickly lost all
orientation. For all I knew I could have been anywhere within a 60-90
minutes of driving radius from the airport. I definitely recalled the
Master's address, but I couldn't know if He was taking me there or
somewhere else. No one else knew where I was going, and at that point it
was clear to me I have willingly surrendered all control because the
situation was definitely out of my hands. To do that with a relative
stranger is an exhilarating experience, one that can turn deadly if you
make a mistake of trusting a wrong person. In a sense, it is also a
liberating experience as it allows you to focus on the present rather than
the future since you have little or no control over it.

Eventually, we arrived at the designated destination. As both Master and
mouse left the van, I was left shackled and cuffed in the back in pitch
dark and silence. I could hear the bags unloaded from the trunk and taken
away. Was I going to see them again? I didn't know. Any moment, I half
expected, half hoped, someone would come over and take me out, but I was
left to contemplate my future in the dark silence. Fortunately, it seemed
only 15 minutes later the sliding door opened, my handcuffs grabbed and I
was unceremoniously pulled out into the fresh air. Trying to figure out who
the mysterious figure was didn't take me long, as I could immediately
identify the same long deep breaths that belonged to Master. Firmly and not
so slowly I was guided forward until I bumped against a doorstep revealing
a house in front me. Relief swept over me as I was now sure Master did not
lie and indeed delivered me to His home. Around a small corner, down the
hallway, we ended up in a small room where finally my hood was taken off.

Slowly, my eyes adjusted to the light and my first sight was that of a
Master, sitting in front of me on a bed, dutifully removing both my hand
and leg cuffs. Being careful not to draw attention I assessed the room I
was in. Quick shy glimpse around revealed a messy room; scattered clothes
and boxes laid everywhere, drawers hanging half open and one window with
closed blinds, seemingly first of the many divides from the world outside
and herein. Before I could finish examining the room, Master was done and
leaned back on the bed, giving out clear and specific details on what my
first order of the day was. As I have expected, my first task was to strip
and give Master some relief, although Master sternly indicated I would be
severely punished if I were to use my hands at all. For a brief moment, I
have considered if I should test this threat, but dismissed it as this was
our first actual meeting, and we all know first impressions are long
lasting. I hurried to comply and got out of my clothes as fast as I could.

Looking down I saw my Masters cock for the first time, and felt happy I
would get to pleasure Him right away. Dropping to my knees I slowly
started, as Master slumped down, relaxed and watched me. I dared not look
at Him back, but instead focused completely at my task, losing myself in
what was a very enjoyable experience for me too. At some point Master
muttered something that I thought was directed to me, so I raised my head
to try and infer what was said. Master, however, did not like me raising
up, and quickly reached for me. Thinking I was going to get slapped or
worse my instinct was to cringe, but instead He grabbed my neck and
immediately impaled me back on His cock. A flurry of thrusts followed as I
was trying to come to terms with it, my gag reflex not appreciating the
treatment even if I was delighted by the show of force. Struggling to catch
a breath between them I sensed Master relent and let me get some before
continuing. The intensity of it told me, Master was probing, trying to see
if I was comfortable with the situation and how much He can push. Somehow I
was both grateful and disappointed as I secretly hoped Master would take
less heed of my comfort. If I knew what was coming those thoughts would
have been superfluous. Before long, Master was climaxing and I was treated
to a nice load, I was sure first of the many to come. Lapping up a small
drop that escaped me, I took a step back looking at Master who now stood
up. I hoped this was just a beginning but my hopes were quashed as Master
grabbed my collar and led me to the big steel cage. Without much ceremony I
was ushered in, allowed to curl up on top of a relatively comfortable
mattress that covered most of the cages bottom. I looked expectantly at my
Master, searching for what is going to happen next. Half expecting He would
just lock the cage and leave me, He surprised me by kneeling in front and
getting closer to me. Was He going to crawl in the cage with me? Searching
for an answer I looked into His eyes, the look not betraying his intended
action. Just as I was to begin to back away, His voice stilled me. I was
going to sleep in the cage free of any bondage, but a warning reminded me I
should not get used to it as it was only temporarily. Disappointment swept
over me, as I realized I wanted the bondage Master spoke of. Had He not
have mentioned it I would have slept just as I was, but now this awakened
my curiosity and I wished my Master was taking a less gradual approach.
Still, I knew better than to say anything, as it obviously wasn't my
position or right to dictate the tempo or what happens. Somewhere in those
thoughts the cage was locked, Master gone, and I was left to contemplate my
next four weeks here. It has begun.


Chapter 2 - Rude awakenings


Rustling of the lock, woke me from my sleep. Still groggy from my rest I
looked up, to see Master unlocking the cage door. Quick look at the closed
blinds on the nearby window told me it was an early morning judging by how
much light there was. I pulled myself up and crawled out the cage,
wondering what my first day is going to bring. As I stood up I reminded
myself to keep my head bowed, but couldn't but notice the cuffs and a
blindfold that were laying on the bed. Master briefly looked at me and then
explained I was going to be punished for making Him wait at the airport.
Even though I half expected there would be consequences, a pang of
unfairness still struck me, since the flight delay was out of my hands.
Still, I knew it mattered little and I was ready to accept any punishment
Master deemed necessary and firmly complied with it as Master asked if I
understood.

Before I knew it, leather cuffs were put on each of my wrists and ankles,
arms pulled back and hand cuffed together. Soon enough, blindfold followed
and I was firmly pulled out of the bedroom. Still having no idea of the
house interior, I tentatively walked forward trying not to hit anything as
I followed Masters lead. After a sharp turn we seemingly arrived somewhere
and Master let go of me. Compensating for the loss of sight, I strained by
ears to make out any sounds. There were no voices, we were alone, my only
company Masters breathing and a strange metallic sound accompanied by the
rustling of a chain. This only served to arouse my curiosity even further
and I struggled to peek through the bottom of the blindfold, but the angle
was such I couldn't see anything except for a small part of my chest in the
periphery.

"Spread your legs", interrupted my train of thought. Without much as
thinking I complied, and soon found what felt like a metal bar being
attached to my ankles. Master was putting a spreader on me, but why? I
bowed slightly forward trying to keep my balance and nearly lost it when
Master pulled me forward again this time leading me only a few steps away
and then suddenly moving away to the side, while still pulling me forward.
The spreader made it difficult to walk, as I had to made large strides,
which were awkward, constantly aware I might bump into something. Still
wondering what was going on, I made one more step and I was in a world of
hurt. As my foot touched the ground sharp pain almost made me
whimper. Numerous spikes were biting into my foot, sending waves of pain I
never expected. A not so gentle push made me step onto the spikes with my
other foot and rest all my weight on them, increasing the pain further.

Suddenly doubt began to creep up my mind, mixing with the pain, as I
struggled to understand what kind of a punishment this was. As seconds
ticked away the pain began to lessen a bit as my body adjusted to the
sudden change, and I began to manage my level of stress. Master on the
other hand picked up a chain, and attached it to my cuffed hands and pulled
them up, making me bend forward half way. By the time He was finished my
feet were seriously complaining and the pain was gaining intensity again.
He stood back, no doubt to admire my predicament, and in a firm tone
explained I was going to stay like this until He released me.

No sooner than He said that I began to wonder just how long can I keep at
this. I was already struggling with myself not to move my feet. I didn't
have permission to speak, and my pride certainly didn't give me a choice to
beg, not that it would matter if what were talked about on chat was true.
Instead, I decided to just take it and see how long I can bear with it.
Lost in my thoughts I didn't even notice Master gone. Everything was quiet
and I had nothing to focus on but the throbbing pain that was getting worse
by the minute. I wanted to move my feet so badly and yet I didn't know if
Master was around, quietly observing or if He was really gone. Finally, I
decided to take a chance and move one foot. I bit my lip as I shifted all
my weight to the other foot and pulled up and forward hoping to hit solid
ground, almost like a sumo wrestler, which made me smile maniacally among
all this. To my demise, I just managed to impale myself on another set of
spikes and strangled a small yelp. They were all around me?! I tested the
chain that was holding my arms up and there was very little give there. I
did realize that shifting my foot did help a bit, but at the cost of a very
steep pain spike when I stepped down again. I wasn't sure what was worse at
that point, but I knew the pain was only building as time went on.

Something wet brushed my ankle and I instinctively twitched not having
heard anyone come close to me.  As I calmed down, I heard sniffing sounds
and what I could only guess was a wet nose brushing against my thigh.
Master must have released the dogs. Curious of the newcomer they were
assessing me, and soon all but one lost all interest. I could still feel
the presence of one dog, that seemed to have been intent on observing
me. Amidst all the commotion I briefly forgot about the pain, but it was
now coming back with a vengeance. I shifted my foot again, whimpering
softly to myself. To my surprise, the dog came over and licked my ankle as
if to comfort me. In this moment, even this small act of sympathy from a
dog, made me feel better. To feel comforted by a dog felt humiliating but
strangely gratifying at the same time. As if the dog understood and
provided sympathy while no one else deemed me worthy of any. I felt akin to
the dog who I didn't even know, as if my place was there beside him, much
to my kinky pleasure.

Before long, I could hear Masters heavy footsteps, no doubt coming back to
where I was. How long had I stayed like this? Was He going to release me
now? Since it was a workday, Master was getting ready for work, and I was
hoping I would be released soon.

"I'm sorry slave that I can't play with you now. I'm afraid I have to leave
for work, but you will be fine like you are. I have ordered mouse to keep
an eye on you until I get back."

What?!? He is going to leave me on this?! All my hopes of release shattered
like they never existed. Worse yet, I was even less comfortable with Him
not being there. What if something goes wrong? Can I trust mouse? Do I have
a choice? He trusts Him, so perhaps I should too? For the first time I
considered begging as a serious option.

"But you will be alright won't you slave?"

Damn it! Even if my body was screaming no at this point, the last thing I
wanted to do is disappoint. How can a slave respond to such a question with
anything but a short and firm "Yes Master"? Like a good slave in pain that
I was, I replied with the only choice my position and pride left me.

Taking deep breaths, I tried to steady my breathing while constantly
battling the desire shift my feet. In an effort to find relief, I tried
leaning on the chain that was tied to my arms in the back as to lift some
of my weight. It soon proved unsuccessful, as my feet were not feeling any
better while my arms were developing an ache of their own. It seemed that
every 5 to 10 minutes the pain would grow to the point I was compelled to
move my feet. Each time I would move them, impale myself again and whimper
softly to myself, beginning the cycle anew.

My mind was clouded with pain and the uncertainty of how long Master was
going to leave me here like this was slowly creeping in. The pain wasn't
helping with my already sore muscles from having to support me in the
semi-crouching position. Noticing how I was getting weaker got me instantly
worried. What if I lose my balance? What if I can't keep myself up any more
and fall? My mouth was getting dry, body obviously dehydrated from the
strain. Assuming the worst, the earliest Master was going to release me was
when He got home. I was absolutely certain I would not be standing by then
in this condition and this ultimately made my decision to call out to
mouse.  It took four times before I got a distant answer from mouse. He
didn't seem pleased to have had him bothered, but understood I was asking
for water. Instead of providing me with it, he just replied He would ask
Master and that was it. Frustrated by his response I just huffed and
slumped back, feeling defeated.

Eventually I reached a point where I was desperate to get some
relief. Seeing how mouse didn't respond to me calling out until the fourth
time, I realized I was not watched. I was on my own and it didn't help
assuage my fear of failure to keep up. However, it didn't take long before
I realized I could use the fact to my advantage. No matter how much I
wanted to comply with Masters orders, I was now desperate enough to seek
relief and if I wasn't being watched it meant I could get away with moving
my feet off the spikes beneath them. Remembering that I had to walk 2 steps
onto them from the side it means that safe ground must be to the side of
where I was standing. My only issue was with the chain, that was holding my
arm back and up. I wasn't sure if there was enough slack to make 2 side
steps, but having no other options I simply had to try.

Two painful shifts later and my left foot was on solid wooden floor and I
almost had tears of relief. The chain was now taut but nothing I couldn't
handle. My right foot was still on the spikes but shifting all my weight to
the left foot eliminated most of the pain emanating from there. Exhausted
from the move I slumped forward, allowing the chain to keep me suspended
and balancing with my left leg. My happiness didn't last long though.

Five minutes later, I heard footsteps and mouse was back, presumably to
check on me. He noticed me off the spikes and immediately moved to correct
me.

"I'm sorry, but Master ordered me to make sure you stay on them. I know
they are painful but you must stay on them. Now I have to make sure you
won't get off again", was all he said as he pulled me back on top of the
spikes, while dragging something next to where I was standing. I half
expected he would force me back onto them, and did not even doubt he would
tell Master I had disobeyed, but at this point it mattered little to
me. With the pain back and biting into my soles and toes, I was frustrated
more than ever.

 As mouse left I tried again to shift away off the spikes. This time
however, I could not get any relief as on both sides all I could find were
more spikes. Each attempt only brought me more suffering, and I soon gave
up, submitting to the base pain and just shifting my feet every once in a
while when I desperately needed to. It seemed hours before mouse returned
again, this time bringing a glass of water he brought to my lips, letting
me slowly drink most of it until I felt somewhat better. Without further
ado, as soon I was finished, he left me to my predicament and I was again
alone with my thoughts and fears.

Without knowing when I would be released or any way to get even temporary
relief, I quietly suffered in my place, same thoughts and emotions
repeating themselves in my head. Each thought echoing little louder each
time, threatening to overpower me; they were my sole focus away from the
dreadful pain that loomed over me.  Somewhere among all of them, I was
truthfully sorry for disappointing Master with being late. The fact that it
was not my fault evaporated completely as I was now identifying with the
fault as if it was my very own, personal blunder. Remorse, regret and
despair all assaulted me, forcing me into a state of deep repentance. No
longer was I asking myself why; no longer have I considered it unjust. The
punishment was engrained in my reality and I have submitted to it, enduring
the pain in an attempt to absolve myself and dutifully seek forgiveness for
what I have caused. Despite desperately wanting it to end, I looked at
every passing minute as punishment well deserved.

As they say, time is relative and in my isolated world of hurt, it seemed
extremely prolonged. Having had difficulty keeping track of the actual time
and not knowing the duration of my punishment, all I could do was focus on
the present and look forward to each passing minute as the one where I
might be released from my suffering. No wonder, my heart leapt when I heard
mouse coming back. Did Master tell him to release me? Slight pull to the
side and off to solid ground, answered my prayers. As my sore feet touched
solid ground, I winced again but this time I welcomed the sweet pain that
was signaling the end of my suffering. My hands were uncuffed, the spreader
removed, and mouse dragged me back to my cage. Every step reminded me of
the ordeal I just went through, but at the moment all I could think was how
grateful I was to be released.

Once at the cage, my blindfold was removed and my eyes took their time to
slowly adjust to the daylight. Ordered to move into the cage I complied,
sitting back and experiencing immense relief by taking the weight off of my
poor feet.

"You are to rest here until Master comes back. Push your feet through the
bars."

Wondering why I was supposed to do that, I slowly and reluctantly pushed
them through. He seemed to have a small bottle with him, which he
immediately used to spray the soles and toes of both feet. The cold
sensation felt great and as I looked down I saw he was spraying them with a
disinfectant. They were bleeding. Careful examination of my feet showed
nothing serious; just a few minor cuts. Relieved they were fine, I quickly
drifted to sleep, thinking of Master and wondering what awaited me next.


Chapter 3 - A welcome back


It was evening by the time I woke up. Slowly raising from my slumber, my
bladder reminded me it needed relief. Considering that wasn't going to
happen while I was locked away here, I quelled the sensation hoping I would
be released before it was too late. Was Master home yet? It didn't seem
so. I heard voices in the background; mouse talking with someone else I
didn't recognize. Judging by the light outside, it looked like it was late
afternoon already. Remembering Master was due to get home by 7pm, it
certainly meant I will be at least given an opportunity to express my need
before I soil anything. Considering what I just went through, I was certain
I would do everything in my power to prevent myself from going
here. Thinking about it didn't help and I pushed the thought away.

As it is often the case, slaves are rarely idle, but when they are they
spent their time in bondage. It gives them, and therefore me, a chance to
reflect on their experiences, servitude and every other aspect of their
slavery. I used the time in the cage to analyze what just happened this
morning. The more I introspected, the more I got angry. Indeed, Master has
left me there to suffer, and the pain it brought was not the catalyst of my
anger. Instead, my anger was focused on what could have happened. I could
have lost my balance, since I was already growing weak. My feet were
bleeding for who knows how long and I had no idea if whatever I was
standing on didn't get them infected. I could understand that He wasn't
there, but then someone else should have been monitoring the whole thing
and yet I had to shout numerous times before I would get any attention if I
was lucky. No matter the anguish I was going through, my safety should have
been accounted for and the sheer fact it wasn't infuriated me. Is this how
He envisioned trust building? Vortex of aggressive thoughts swirled in my
mind, all leading to a definite conclusion, I was not going to sit idle and
pretend everything was alright, we were going to have a serious
conversation. Right now, I had more pressing matters.

"Sir mouse!" No answer. Damn, my bladder is killing me. I don't know how
much longer I can keep it up. I knew I could be heard from the faint
conversation that I could just make out in the next room. Even though I
knew mouse wasn't a Sir, I felt like I had to assume he was above me and
thus had to use the honorifics. He probably didn't like it, but pissed off
as I was I didn't care.

"Sir mouse!" I had to get some relief otherwise I would definitely soil
myself from all the water I had. Pausing each time for 10-15 seconds I
awaited his arrival.

"Sir mouse!" The conversation seemed to stop and I heard "I think you
should check on him." Good; it seemed I caught someone attention at least.

Few seconds later, mouse walked in not too happy with the distraction. "You
do not call me Sir, you got that? I am not a Sir." Oh... It pissed you off
didn't it? Well tough. Not wanting to waste time on petty banter, I
explained my need right away: "I need to take a piss, I can't hold it
anymore."  He seemed to study me for a second, and then announced he would
ask and left. Even though I knew he was supposed to ask for permission for
everything, in my mind this was getting ridiculous. I was definitely going
to have a long talk with Master.

Fortunately, about 5 minutes later he was back. He didn't say anything, but
again didn't have to as his actions spoke volumes. Cage was unlocked and I
was led to a bathroom to relieve myself.  Bastard in me, mused how I should
have him hold it for me but dismissed the notion as there was no need to
create enemies. Happy I finally got to go, I returned to my cage to wait
for Master.

Since there were no clocks in the room, I couldn't keep track of time, but
I sensed that about one hour later Master arrived home. Sure enough not too
much later, He came to me and released me from my cage. Despite everything
I wanted to say, I kept my mouth shut waiting for an appropriate
opportunity. He lead me to a large bedroom, sat on the bed, had me standing
in front of Him and asked me how I felt. How do I feel? I'll tell you how I
feel.

"Angry. Disappointed. Upset. How do you think I feel? You left me there
bound and suffering without ever making sure I was fine. You left me in
care of mouse who barely moved a finger to check on me. Is this how you
expect me to trust you?"

Masters face showed a range of emotions. Showing remorse more than anything
else, He knew He had made a mistake. He didn't seem so dominant any more,
as if my act forced him to withdraw and contemplate how to salvage the
situation. I rejoiced in the fact He was now on the defensive and intended
to push Him even more in that direction. Briefly considering how this might
lead me to punishment, I dismissed the notion as this talk was much more
important than any punishment that I could earn because of it. We had to
set some base guidelines on which to form trust, otherwise this
relationship would have been doomed right from the start.

How was it possible for an experienced Master, such as He claims to be, to
make a lousy first time impression was beyond me. Trust was everything here
and He should know better than anyone else how important it is. Was He
lying to me? My mood darkened at the thought and just as I was going to
find out, He interrupted me.

"I know and I'm sorry. I relied on mouse to take care of things and I
shouldn't have done that. You have to understand it has been a long while
since I have been in these waters and I need to get used to it again. It
won't happen again."

A sincere apology. Looking deep in those eyes, I couldn't find any reason
why not to believe Him. In fact this seemed too apologetic for a Master I
have hoped for. The dominant aura was completely gone and it was as if we
reversed the roles. Great, I got involved with a Master who will buckle
under my first push. As you can tell, I wasn't impressed. There were so
many ways to say you were sorry without sounding so desperate and
submissive. Maybe He was desperate, because He didn't want to lose
me. While flattering, it left me even less impressed.

But then, I got to look deeper and I saw a man who wanted a relationship
with me at His side as His slave. A man who I know is very capable on
delivering that, and is one of the few who is capable in following me in
the dark abyss of forbidden lust. A genuine man who cared, and would be my
Master in real life and not act a farfetched fantasy ideal. Perhaps a man
who would need my help in getting there but nonetheless a man who can and
will get us both there. Reminding myself that this wasn't one of the many
fantasy stories I read but real life with real people with all their flaws
and virtues. Now it was my time to repent for getting so agitated in the
first place and I quickly agreed to letting this event be left behind us
and start afresh.


Chapter 4 - Sweet surrender


In the next few days, things took on less intensity and more engagement. I
was presented with chores that needed to be done around the house and a
schedule I was to keep. More or less a typical day consisted of my morning
duties before Master would head on to work, followed by my chores and
assignments for the day, some free time in between if there was left any,
preparing dinner for Master when He would come back from work and evening
play and/or service.

Every morning I would wake up as I was left the evening before.  The cuffs
and anklets I wore all the time, would be locked together and chained to
the foot of the bed. A small mattress would rest on the floor right next to
the bed with a small pillow; comfort that this slave was very grateful
for. Come morning, being a light sleeper, Master would wake up first and
release me. On some days, slave would be sent to set coffee to brew and fix
breakfast, while Master would take a shower. On others, slave was required
to service Master beforehand. After serving the breakfast, the slave would
kneel next to Master in the dining room, awaiting further instructions or
allowed to eat from its bowl at the same time.

After Master was done eating, slave was put on a house chain. It merely was
a long plastic yard chain, anchored in the center of the house, providing
limited movement to the slave and only to certain areas of the house where
it was supposed to be working. It annoyed slave greatly because of its
tendency to tangle itself while dragging it along everywhere not to mention
the racket it would produce. Despite the irritation, slave eventually got
used to it. With the assignments and daily chores given, Master would leave
for work. Slave would lose itself in the work, barely cognizant of what it
was doing, just manually getting it done, constantly rethinking and
analyzing its experiences with Master. Eventually, slave would have to
think about preparing dinner, trying to time it so it is ready and fresh
just as Master gets back from work.  Having little experience with cooking
slave would often spend more time than necessary on the meals and push the
envelope a bit when it came to dinner time. Despite breaching time limits a
few times, Master was understanding and did not punish slave.

One particular day, after dinner, Master ordered slave into the bedroom and
barked out an order to strip. With clothes away, slave was ushered onto the
bed and told to lay down and spread arms and legs. Look of lust crossed
Masters face and slave knew we were in for some good time. Obedient as it
is, slave dutifully spread its arms which were quickly shackled to the
headboard. Legs soon followed, rendering slave immobile and very
vulnerable. As Master climbed onto the bed next to slave, it couldn't but
wonder what He had on his mind. How far would He go? Save for the initial
punishment on the first day, slaves limits were not pushed much at
all. Soft voice brought me out of my reverie.

"I trust you are nice and comfy slave?"

"Yes, Master."

"Great, don't get used to it, won't be comfortable for long. Remember our
talk about surrender?" How could slave forget. In the many months slave has
spent chatting with Master, we have often discussed what Master called red
training. Learning to submit and surrender. Accept the reality and what
Master gives to you, surrender to it and be thankful for the attention.

"Yes, Master."

"It is time to test your surrender to me and start your red training. You
will learn to accept whatever I give you and be thankful for it."

I smiled: "Yes Master, slave is thankful."

Smile greeted me back: "Not yet slave but you will be. Soon..." Even before
He finished the sentence, an open hand came out of nowhere and slapped my
balls hard. Wave of pain coursed through me, making me gasp at the
unexpected slap.

"Well slave?" The two eyes were watching me intently. Before I could answer
another slap reminded me I need to hurry up with an answer.

"Thank you Master!"

"Do you want another?" I studied His face for a moment. Judging by the
tone, He couldn't have made the question more leading. "Yes, Master."
Again, my balls were assaulted, and I soaked in the pain, half relishing in
it. Next slap made me instinctively buck out of the way but to no avail.

"Do not buck away from me slave, if you know what's good for you."

Two more slaps made the threat very clear and I struggled to keep in place,
my breathing now considerably faster. For a moment I closed my eyes and
reopening them revealed Master's face. Deeply searching, questioning. My
endorphins were kicking in and I was quickly gaining control over my pain
levels. Encouraged by my new found strength, my rambunctious side was dying
to show itself. Surrender? He wants me to surrender? But what is surrender
without a fight before hand? Would it fuel His desire? Get Him angry? We
looked at each other for a few seconds, and I finally decided. Yes, I will
surrender. I want to. But not before I give meaning to it.

A devilish smile crossed my face, as if I was saying "You want me to
surrender? Get me there".  A direct challenge. Best to remain quiet. There
was no need to be disrespectful.

Master face was motionless for a second. Then, an eyebrow raised. Happy
crazed smile. Yes, I've hit bulls eye. He welcomed my challenge, enjoyed
it. Maybe this was a mistake?

"Oh? This is how you want to play. I see... Very well."

I poised myself for a strike. Surely, there would be retribution, but there
was none coming. He was waiting for me to drop my guard. Two can play that
game. Time seemed to stop. Each of us expecting the other to yield, relax,
make an opening. Suddenly, His hand began to move. Slow. He wasn't going to
hit me. Instead, the hand reached out and groped my balls, encircling them
in a fist which dangerously began to tighten.

Despite the precarious position I was in, my defiance remained. We never
lost eye contact for one second, my eyes inviting, daring Him to give me
more. Master was more than happy to indulge me by suddenly increasing the
pressure tenfold. All air left me as I struggled to breath in; trapped in a
painful existence.  What started out as a moan quickly turned into a
scream. The pressure was still there and I was sure my eyes were pleading,
searching for mercy, while Master watched me intensely. Just like that his
touch was gone, but the pain remained for a few seconds before it too
started to fade.

Gasping for breath, I was thankful for the given reprieve. Somewhere along
the deep breaths, my balls exploded again in pain; a sharp consequence of
yet another slap.

"Getting the idea now slave?", playful voice chided.

Remember to breathe. "Yes Master", my voice sounding defeated. I wasn't
sure I was quite yet. We were only starting.

"Good." While I collected my thoughts, the Master got up and disappeared
from my view, rummaging in the toy box. Finally, He reappeared with a
leather belt in his hand, menacingly swishing through the air. I felt
mesmerized by the sight, knowing well I will soon taste its bite. Clearly,
the defeat Master sought in my eyes wasn't forthcoming from CBT, not as
fast as Master would have liked. No, He needed a different approach.

First couple of swings were light; testing my reaction, my resolve. I was
not going to give Him any. Staying perfectly still I wondered how far was I
going to be pushed tonight. Still laying on my back, the belt would hit my
feet, thighs, crotch and abs, and the pain was barely noticeable amidst the
cracking sound of leather against my skin. The allure helped me tone deeper
into situation, accepting, anticipating even looking forward to the next
strike. It seemed too easy. It was.

"Slave, I'm going to uncuff your hands. You will turn over and keep them on
the headboard or you will regret it. Understood?"

Crystal clear. I wouldn't dare disobey him on something as direct and
simple as this, anyway. "Yes, Master".

The hands were quickly shackled again, and the procedure repeated with my
legs. It crossed my mind I didn't even think about the order. It happened
by itself. Was I going into subspace already?

The leather belt was back in Masters hands and I posed myself for an
assault. Soon enough it began. However, the strikes this time were biting
in hard. The first couple of hits were manageable; on the 7th I was
beginning to hurt. Moans were starting to escape me on every hit, the heat
assaulting my backside and the ass almost as fierce as the vicious
belt. Master just kept going, hits landing one after the other in random
intervals. Not enough time to regain composure, the pain was sky rocketing
and soon enough first painful cries emerged. The flurry of strikes kept
coming, and I lost all count of them, unable to follow, just focus on that
brief moment of respite between them. Eventually, I was trying to squirm
away, every strike producing a strangled scream, but to no avail with my
bondage. The belt would find its target each time, bringing another 2 fresh
tears down my face.

It stopped magically just as I was becoming desperate. When the next strike
didn't come, I relaxed in my confines, trying to repress my sobbing. The
pillow was perfect to wipe away my tears, but no doubt Master has seen
them. Masters hand inspected my ass, which made me jerk, not knowing what
to expect.

"Your ass is nice and red, slave. Just the way I like it."

Turning my head, I tried to look at my ass. There were no bruises, although
I was sure there would be some. Every stroke hit me on a different spot,
Master's precision was immaculate. I smiled through my tear stricken face,
the pain having brought me into my cherished subspace.

As I slumped back to rest, Master went to the toy chest again. I followed
his every move, trying to see what was coming next. When a paddle emerged,
my eyes got wide. Oh god, more? Would He at least give me a few minutes to
recover? Apparently not. I braced myself for impact, but only got a few
playful taps on my balls.

"Are these sensitive, slave?"

Were they? I could still feel the pain radiating throughout my lower back
and ass, but my balls were doing better at the moment, the previous slaps
almost forgotten. "Somewhat Master." Should I have opened the door to CBT
so openly? Sniffling, I realized I wanted to; needed to.

This time around the pain was more dull but just as powerful. The first
couple of hits landed on my balls, enough for me to try and recoil but not
powerful enough to get me screaming. Satisfied with my results, the Master
returned to my ass, seemingly using full force now. The skin was still raw
from the previous beating and it made the paddle feel so much more
menacing. Almost instantly my tears were starting to flow again, and I
couldn't help it.

The blows kept coming and I was again lost in my desperation to escape the
pain. Even my subspace could not shield me much from the assaulting pain.
Each blow would pry me out a little and I would become a little more
desperate to stay in. It wasn't until later that I realized I was bawling,
screaming and straining my hardest to escape the blows, pulling as hard as
I could on the chains that kept me spread-eagled. Reality was a distant
illusion, my world only focused on the torment I was going through. Unable
to escape it, unable to fight it. My defiance completely obliterated,
surrender remained as my only choice.

Every once in a while, unexpectedly, the pain would explode somewhere else
at random, were it my balls, legs or even sides. My feeble attempts to move
away were met with pain in my ankles and wrists when the handcuffs would
dig in. It didn't register with me though, drown out by the ever present
throbbing and hurt coming from my ass.

I didn't notice when it stopped. I was still trashing and screaming,
pulling at my bonds, my hands and legs shivering from the strain. Not until
the pain subsided a bit, did I face the reality again and saw there were no
new blows coming. It seemed that at this precise moment, the floodgates of
emotions finally opened, and the flood that came out was impossible to
stop. Stream of tears was flowing down my face, the sobbing interfering
with my breathing. The world was blurry, my mind in turmoil unable to grasp
even the simplest of thoughts. I just kept sobbing and weeping, letting it
all out, until a soft touch on my back brought my focus back to reality.

Master was saying something. It sounded warm, reassuring and yet I couldn't
understand its meaning. Sure, I could hear the words, but their meaning
eluded me. I took comfort in His voice, wrapping myself in its tranquil,
until my clarity returned.

"You did well slave. I am very pleased with you." Such warmth coming from
those words. I was melting all over again. He wiped my tears away and
suddenly I felt what He truly meant by surrender. I wanted to go through
all of it again, right there and then, only to hear those words again.
Surrender, to His pleasure, to my place in life, and ultimately to my only
purpose.

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