Date: Wed, 9 Mar 2011 12:20:52 -0800 (PST)
From: Alex <digivampcgr@yahoo.com>
Subject: Inner innuendos from the east coast - Part 2 - Authoritarian

Disclaimer: The following story is inspired and guided by real life events.
If you are offended by descriptions of homosexual acts or power and
surrender scenes, please leave this page.  If you are under legal age of
your country/state please leave now.

Fragments of imagination from the east coast


Chapter 5 - Be careful what you wish for


Despite my clear position as a slave, Master rarely abrogated my freedom of
speech. Communication was important to Him, and the spoken word through
honesty the quickest way for both of us to find out about each other. A
couple of times, it just happened I have picked the wrong moment to express
myself which quickly resulted in being shut up, or as it was the case one
time, gagged.

Communication goes both ways, and I had ample opportunity to do probing of
my own and explore the limits of my slavery. Subtle ways in which I could
try and influence the situation, provoke an action or simply evaluate how
far a slave can impose without suffering dire consequences. One of those
times slave went too far.

One of the topics commonly discussed between Master and me was sleep
deprivation. Having toyed with the concept before and through my limited
experience, I was curious to determine its true effect on me. Ever since
Master told me how He sought to apply it, I was restless with unsated
interest. My curiosity got the best of me, and I found myself pestering
Master with questions. How would it work? How long would it last? Was their
going to be pain? Discomfort? For how long? Too late did I realize my
excessive interest was telling a tale of its own. Despite, the obvious
danger of experiencing it personally, I enjoyed tempting my fate. The
apprehension was there, and yet, the fear of the unknown did not stop
me. After all, how bad could it be? Part of me wanted to find out, even if
it was purely subconscious. The same part that seemed to ignore short
replies Master was giving me, clearly trying to divert the subject.
Finally, He lost patience with me and announced I would find out myself
that evening. Now it was my turn to take a step back. The reality of what
just happened hit me, and it was too late to back out. The sad puppy look
didn't work either. If anything, the smirk I got back told me the more I
pleaded, the more enticed Master was to follow through. Reluctantly, I laid
my fears to rest and tried to seek comfort in at least learning how it
feels like first hand.

The evening began innocent enough with some light play before slave was
told to strip and head over to where Master's cage was. It was a rather
typical sturdy steel cage, 3 feet on each side, with a solid bottom. Having
already spent quite some time in it, I was quite comfortable with it, but I
wasn't going to be comfortable tonight at all. Once stripped, slave was
ushered in and the gate closed, followed by now very familiar sound of a
padlock clicking together. Normally, it would have made the slave slightly
more relaxed but this time it just made it slightly more anxious.

"Put your hands on the sides of the cage and spread your legs. Ass against
the back side, sit straight up." Slave obediently complied and four more
padlocks immobilized slaves limbs to the sides of the cage, using the
leather cuffs and anklets as anchor points. Then, Master went into the cage
and secured slaves collar to the back side of the cage against which slave
was leaning, effectively forcing slave to stay in upright position.

"There. Remember slave, this is what you asked for. And I was kind to put
you in the easiest position."

"Thank you Master! Slave is grateful." And was I ever! With a shiver it
recalled the more difficult positions, where muscles were constantly
strained over the course of the night in unnatural positions. Perhaps the
worst was what Master called a V shape, where slave was left hanging in the
cage, with all its arms and legs secured to the top side, leaving the torso
to hang freely in the center. Such strain would quickly turn into
full-fledged torture. Sleep deprivation was just a consequence of a highly
painful position. It was definitely grateful for being allowed to remain in
a sitting position.

"Have a good night slave. I will check on you in the morning." And with
that the lights went out and Master was gone.

There was very little give away in all my anchor points. I tested them all
as soon as I was left alone, uselessly trying to shift in a vain effort to
find the most comfortable position. Both my arms and legs were tightly
secured, allowing only limited movement of my torso and ass to the side, or
if I so desired I could lift my bottom up temporarily, about a foot away.
The padlocks could slide up and down the bars of the cage up to the where
the cross bars met them, allowing me to propel myself up but that wouldn't
last long as it imposed strain on my muscles to keep up. Still, it was the
only kind of moment I was allowed, and any movement is welcome when left in
strict confinement.

First couple of hours I enjoyed my predicament. I looked back to my days of
service so far, reevaluated my efforts and considered myself lucky to be
where I am. Having had a busy day, natural fatigue was starting to show
itself and the desire for rest became obvious. The bondage I was in, didn't
feel too uncomfortable and I was wondering if I could get some sleep
despite my peculiar position. Slowly, I slumped forward allowing my hands
and head to drop down in an effort to relax enough for sleep. The
discomfort was now clearly apparent as the unnatural position I was in
created hints of muscle ache still to come. Relaxation was not an option. I
kept trying for almost what seemed to me an hour, and only grew more
frustrated with each passing second. In the end I just gave up on the
notion of sleep, and decided to settle in for a more realistic solution.
Perhaps, if I couldn't sleep, I could find a position comfortable enough to
rest. No such luck.

Despite my earnest efforts, it was clear to me there would be no rest this
night. Worse yet, my growing muscle ache was becoming increasingly evident,
invariably culminating in a muscle cramp, which I could only alleviate by
propelling myself off ground, shifting strain from one muscle group to
another. Within an hour, the need to shift became frequent and I was now in
serious discomfort. Furthermore, the strain from having to propel myself
up, combined with the lack of rest, resulted in breaking out in sweat. The
chilly air was cooling the sweat rapidly, making me shiver from the cold.
The light blanket I was left in, kept shifting off of me every time I would
shift, and I would have to lift my body and bend my neck to grab it my
teeth and tug hard in order to cover myself again.  Hour after hour, the
same scenario repeated itself over and over, every 5-10 minutes.
Psychologically, my mind was already struggling to handle the position I
was in. With every passing minute, the situation seemed a bit more
desperate as my muscle ache soared. First doubts slowly crept in. Masters
words kept echoing in my head. This is what I wanted. What I asked for. And
yet, I couldn't shake off the feeling that this was punishment. Much
different from the physical punishment, this one seemed focused on my mind,
and it was struggling not to enter turmoil. Would He come release me before
morning? Part of me didn't want to be given an easy way out. Master wanted
me here in this position and I was not the kind of slave to disappoint. I
would stay here and keep silent until morning, I vowed.  Still, somewhere
deep inside there was another part of me that was waiting and hoping for a
release.

With no watch or clocks to track time, I could not know how long it has
been since I was put in the cage. Or how longer I would have to stay there
until release would finally come. Instead of fighting a losing battle with
my predicament I decided to try and escape the reality using meditation.
Focusing the attention to my favorite meditation scene, I tried to lose
myself in the splendors of rampant thick humid forests, substituting the
chilly air for a gentle breeze. It worked only partially as I would always
return to the reality because of the growing muscle ache, unable to put it
out of mind.

Left with no options, my mind was slowly beginning to unravel. This indeed
was punishment. I had failed Him. Despite the clear signs to leave the
discussion to rest, I kept pestering Master about sleep deprivation and now
I was subjected to it. Images of displeased and disappointed Master was all
I could see. Serious face looking down on me, sparking fear and a feeling
of wrongdoing I could hardly deal with. Every time the ache would grow too
high, I kept reminding myself it was my fault and this was price I was
paying. The morning seemed distant, never coming, even when I could clearly
see light breaking from the window. The constant discomfort has already
taken its tall and I just prayed that the release would come soon. Another
minute would pass by, and there would be no one to release me. Shifting
carefully, trying to strangle the moans, I would reset my hopes. Perhaps
the release would come in the next minute.

I don't know how long I was stuck in this never-ending loop. Eventually, I
heard rustling from the nearby room and my hopes dashed. The sound of
running water confirmed to me someone was up. Hopefully, with release just
around the corner, I was now more than desperate. Sure enough, Master
walked into the room, looking at me, appraising my condition. I did not
dare, make a sound. Not one move. Nothing that would compromise my
release. Was He cruel enough to leave me in here? I hoped not, as I was
ready to beg for release. Surely, He would not grant me hopes of release
only to quash them. One by one, padlocks that confinement me, were
unlocked, my hands and legs forgotten what it feels like to move. As the
cage door opened, I slowly shifted and crawled out.

All movement was painful, my body rigid and stiff from its predicament. Not
that I cared. I could finally move, and as I crawled out feeling of
gratitude overwhelmed me. Without thinking, I prostrated myself in front of
Master, ignoring the protest my knees were giving me. I didn't want to go
back in. Please don't put me back there.

"Thank you Master! Thank you for releasing slave." I was almost sobbing to
myself, as I clung to Master's feet. Never in my life had I felt so
submissive, so invariably locked in my role that free thinking was out of
bounds.

The deadly quiet that descended on us, made me all the more nervous. My
heart skipped a beat as I feared He was thinking about putting me back into
the cage. The very thought made me cling harder on his feet, in hopes He
might understand my desperation. Fortunately, He did.

"You are welcome slave. We can talk later about your night, now, I want
breakfast and coffee. Go make it."

As the handcuffs were put on my hands, a brief thought crossed my mind.
Breakfast never sounded so good.


Chapter 6 – Of tight embraces


Throughout most of my visit, my mind usually was twisted around my
service. Fueled by curiosity, I kept questioning myself and observing my
surroundings, Master's actions, anything that would provide me further
insight into the life of servitude. I was changing already, and I could
feel it. Immersed in another world, the life outside home seemed distant,
barely worth my attention. Between the thoughts of submission, servitude,
limits and desire, I would often come back to the roots of my own selfish
desires. Hopes would rise, spurred by my lately insatiable lust. In turn,
my rebellious side would show, wanting, even demanding satisfaction. As
soon as I would realize my mistake, I would feel ashamed, even if I have
just internalized the deeply instilled desires of human existence. I
realized I still had a long way to go, before I could fully control my
internal desires; enough to prevent them from directly manifesting in a
domineering manner.

For now, distracting myself away seemed to be the best strategy, and what
better way to accomplish that but with your favorite activity. I guess I
shouldn't call it an activity, as it appears to be a highly passive state,
yet, my mind is always ablaze with activity at those times, even when
everything seems so tranquil.  As I have mentioned before, bondage is a
very regular activity in my service and no doubt it brings a lot of
benefits to my slave mind frame. However, my utmost personal preference in
bondage has to be spending time in a leather straightjacket. The mere sight
or even just a thought of being encompassed in a warm tight embrace of the
leather sheaths, grips my attention faster than anything else. The
subjugation that follows leads me slowly into a trance; state of total
relaxation and surrender. All I want at that point is to embrace that
tranquil and tone further into the depths of surrender.  As such, the
straightjacket became my penultimate reward, but more so, my psychological
safe guard, a shield away from the reality and the safe place where I could
abscond to. Even during the times of play, when Master would use me in the
straightjacket, or even punish me, its grip kept me safe and reinforced my
surrender, allowing myself to drift in the endless void, detached from my
concerns and fears, making me happily delegate all control and choices to
my Master.

And yet, while I always admired and lustfully desired a straightjacket, I
was never given a chance to wear one until the first weekend of my visit.
It was a moment of confirmation and utmost dedication as what I had just
described hit me full force. As each strap was tightened I could feel my
elation drift a tad higher, my freedom a bit further away, the tranquil of
my situation even stronger. Fully strapped in the straightjacket I felt
complete, where I should be, and like a happy puppy dazedly looked at
Master who seemed to be just as pleased at my reaction. The first time only
solidified what I already knew. I wanted to be in the straightjacket as
often as possible and for as long as possible.

At least that's what I thought in the first hour or so. Come close to the
end of the 2nd hour, my body began to protest. While the straightjacket
wasn't uncomfortable, the lack of movement introduced a strain on the
muscles, which were beginning now to cramp. The wonderful sensation now
seemed somewhat impaired, as I began to consider how long term bondage was
going to be a very painful experience. Despite that, I still adored my
tight companion and the safety and tranquil it brought me. Breaching into
the 3rd hour, I was now in considerable pain and had to struggle to contain
it. Master surely noticed, and observed my struggles, no doubt enjoying
them. His eyes seemed content but somewhat unsure; He was testing me as
much as I was testing myself. Hopefully, I will have met His expectations,
and while I hated the thought of being freed from it, my muscles were
sending off vicious pain waves I now had trouble dealing with. Grimaces and
shallow moans were beginning to escape me, as I uselessly tried to work my
arms in their sleeves. The biggest pain was emanating from my shoulders,
which were forcefully bent to allow for arms to be fitted into the sleeves.
Finally, Master took pity in me, and released the strap on my chest that
was holding the arms together, and the first few buckles on the back
allowing me to straighten up. Being cramped for so long, as I stood up the
pain immediately accosted me. Despite its high intensity, I soaked up and
welcomed all of it, as I knew it would be gone fairly fast. Curiously
enough as soon as the pain subsided, I found myself wanting to be locked
back in it. I told myself it was crazy; I was just released from it, and
while the temporary freedom I was given was alluring, it wasn't alluring
enough. My true love for straightjacket was born that day, perhaps not
born, but rather realized for the first time.

There were many other occasions, where I was blessed with the opportunity
to spend time in the straightjacket. Of course, it wasn't enough. It
couldn't have been. More was always better; but as I had to remind myself
often, this wasn't about me. It was far too easy to get lost in your own
desires. Eventually my slave mindset would prevail, but I had to keep
myself in check until then. Strangely enough the straightjacket both helped
and hindered that state. On one side it boosted my subservience and
compliance to new levels, while at the same time it would reinforce
personal pleasure and desire, drawing the focus away from Master back to
me. Perhaps, little too selfishly, I adored almost everything about it, and
could not wait for the next time I would be subject to its devilish
effects.  Master too, realized how strongly it affected me, and to my
dismay limited its use, no doubt wanting to explore other venues and keep
my focus onto Him.

On another occasion, one particular evening, I was strapped in the
straightjacket and left chained at the foot of the bed to sleep. Or at
least try. I knew the muscle cramps would set in within the first hour or
two, and if I wanted to have any chance at sleep I had to delve into it
straight away. While I succeeded at first, sharp pain and discomfort woke
me up at 2am. My shoulders were ablaze and I was covered in a fine glean of
sweat. Master was sound asleep, and I was now left with a difficult
decision. Deciding not to wake Master up, I tried to force myself back to
sleep. It didn't work, the pain was just too great and mounting with every
passing minute. Standing up I found the pain was more bearable, but the
chain was too short for me to move away from the bed. Careful as to not
rustle the chain too much and risk waking up the Master, I slowly rose up
from the small mattress and leaned on the nearby chair, keeping a semi
upright position which seemed to ease the pain a bit. I don't know how long
I stayed in that position, chain taught, eyes closed, constantly shifting
between resting and battling the growing discomfort. I realized it was a
losing battle and sooner or later I would end up disturbing Master from His
sleep. As the discomfort levels rose to the point I could not contain it
any more, with sound determination I knelt beside Master's bed and assumed
a request position the best I could. I didn't have to say anything as
Master could hear me shuffling to get into the position and understood
right away. I didn't seem to realize until later, that He was already awake
and was watching me secretly. It didn't matter though. I have reached the
point where I was going to ask for release, granted or not. Fortunately, it
was and I was able to continue my rest for the remainder of the night.
Before I fell asleep I considered how thankful I should be to have been
granted rest when it was just as easy to be denied release.


Chapter 7 – Pain advisory, the punishment forecast


Four weeks of my visit with Master flew by too fast to enjoy, and still too
slow to endure. There were times where I would look at my watch, and wish I
could magically move the little hand either forward or backwards. Still, as
the end of my visit approached, I realized just how much addicting the
whole experience was. I wanted to stay, carry on my duty, the service,
chores, even all the tortures, and the accompanying punishments. Anything
that would make Master happy, and in turn me happy as well. My stay was
concluded with the understanding between Master and me on how our future
engagements would proceed and my eventual time for entering full time
slavery which would be due in six months with the end of school. If only I
didn't have to wait that long before I could serve Master again. It turned
out I would have my wish come true.

Fast forward five months later; we have kept in touch almost every day.
Naturally, I have told Master about my graduation ceremony, and offered to
have Master visit. To my immense joy, Master accepted my invitation and was
due to arrive a day before the ceremony. As Master explained what was going
to happen, I realized how precarious my position was going to be. While I
have intended to become a full time slave, my private life, especially
university life was heavily separated. With a serious threat of the two
clashing, I had to try and at least salvage the situation somehow. I
considered pleading with Master, but I didn't feel it was my place to
require anything of Master, let alone how Master was going to behave.

Tentatively I tried to broach the subject. Master picked up quickly on what
I considered a problem and proposed a solution. In return for one time
treatment as equals, in cases of public exposure, I would be severely
punished the night before the ceremony to atone for the breach of status.
That sounded extremely reasonable, and I immediately accepted, apologizing
profusely even now for just suggesting the idea of acting like an equal. I
feared the punishment, but it was the only way to keep appearances on both
sides, at least for the time being, and I had to accept.

Seemingly overnight, the graduation ceremony was lurking around the corner.
Master was already inbound, and I awaited His arrival at the airport.  Most
welcome, anticipation and anxiety were coursing through my body. Many
questions going through my mind, none of which could be asked but all that
would be answered shortly. A rather brief exchange of greetings with
Master, did not depict our emotions nearly as well as both of our wide
smiles. It has been too long, and I will have to wait just a little while
longer. Soon, I will be able to see that smile every day. We left
immediately for lunch and to settle in the motel room. Despite the small
talk, the lunch seemed awfully quiet. Perhaps it was a sign of things to
come?

Back in the room, Master immediately asserted his dominance by first
ordering me to strip. The words were music to my ears and I hurriedly
complied. After a short inspection I was told to put on my new gown. A few
months ago, Master bought a rather ancient basic looking Greek tunic, with
a look dating to around 3rd century BC. Master considered it fitting
clothes for a slave, which will remind it of its status all the time, and
while at first slave was shocked gradually the idea became acceptable, even
desirable. The tunic seemed to fit me well, but the material was rather
coarse on my skin, indeed reminding me it was plain and meant for a slave
or as it may have been then, a commoner.

A black leather hood was locked on and slave was led onto the bed.
Obviously Master intended to have some fun first, and I wasn't mistaken
because I soon felt a dull ache explode in my left ball which just happened
to catch Masters full attention. As usual, Master starts bed play with some
form of CBT. It didn't take long before I was struggling to keep still and
quiet as I didn't know who might be listening through the walls. At
irregular intervals my nipples were assaulted instead, just enough to draw
away from the impeding agony from down below. Surprisingly, just as I was
getting close to my limits, the pain stopped and my hood was removed.
Through watery eyes I looked at Master, trying to gage where things were
going. With a large grin, Master picked up a large clear plastic bag, full
of clothespins and rattled it in front of me. More than likely the
expression on my face was priceless as my mouth as surely locked in a
gaping O.

"You need to learn to be more thankful, slave. Perhaps you are already
appreciative of everything I do for you... but, I think you should be more
consistent in thanking me as a good slave should, don't you think?"

"Yes Master!" I immediately replied, eying the clothespins worriedly. I
knew exactly what was coming. I wasn't too far off.

"Good slave. You will start by thanking me for each clothespin I put on
you."

No later than He said it, the first clothespin was already finding its way
towards my left nipple. Not unfamiliar with the pain, I just braced for the
impact and slowly relaxed after the clothespin remained, the pain slowly
subsiding, but its remnants still there. Of course I immediately thanked my
Master, wondering how far we will go this time. Another assaulted the other
nipple. Two more followed, after which a double trail was beginning to form
going down from my nipples towards my groin. The clothespins kept coming,
some at short intervals, and others with a slight delay in between, all
requiring me to focus and express my gratitude. The task was now much
harder with the increasingly accosting pain, whilst without any restraints
I had to work hard at keeping still. Still I managed to go through all of
some 70 clothespins. As the last one was put on, I felt a small sense of
relief and victory as I managed to go through them all. It was short lived
as Master began torturing me with them almost instantly.

With short flicks of His fingers, He would send each of them wildly
swinging, almost like playing an instrument, testing to see which notes are
produces by each one. Unfortunately this time I could only barely strangle
the screams and some escaped me. Not that it phased Master in the least.
When Master seemed pleased with "playing me", about 15 minutes later, He
announced they were now to be removed. Some mercy was given that I could
indicate to Master which clothespin could be removed next and when slave
was ready. Fearful of the pain, I wearily picked two that would seem the
least painful at first, and true enough they were removed almost too
easily. As I picked the 3rd that was holding onto my foreskin, Master
decided to tug the clothespin until it came off instead of pressing on it
to relieve the pressure first. This almost elicited a shout from me, which
I muffled in just a nick of time. A look of betrayal I gave Master was only
returned with a smile and a nudge to pick again. Oh God.

In a true battle of wits, I was trying to outmaneuver Master but no matter
what I picked it was always ultimately Master's choice. Seemingly small
victories I was given only served to set me up for a painful defeat.
Finally, the last clothespin was off, my breathing ragged and burdened by
the pain still present, that wouldn't fade away. My groin and stomach were
both fiery red and burning from all the irritation, a lot of the places
bruised blue from the pinch of the clothespins where the patches of loose
skin were. I don't know why I hoped for a moment of respite. Instead, two
rough hands were forcefully rubbing the already sensitive skin,
establishing blood flow but also halting my breathing because of the
pain. If that was bad, what I saw next stunned me. Master was gathering all
the clothespins again and getting ready to put them back on me. A strangled
moan escaped me as I realized the futility of my hopes. There wasn't going
to be much of any respite.

This time around, each clothespin felt at least twice as bad. The already
sensitive skin protested intensely at its abuse, with me doubling my
efforts to keep still, failing at times. It seemed Master was aware how far
this stretched my limits and He wasn't intentionally trying to cause me
more pain. What was happening was enough and the pace by which things were
proceeding seemed to be left with me. Amongst the ocean of pain, this
little island of mercy spurred my hopes again and my new found strength
helped me to persist. Seemingly much later than I wish to recall, they were
all back on and I kept thinking of the pain to come. A reassuring look from
Master made me feel a little better, but as soon as I realized He was going
to play the game again I tensed all over, expecting pain levels that would
surely have me screaming. Despite my doubts, He never once removed any of
clothespins by tugging. Damn it! Torn between resignation and gratefulness,
I thanked my Master for showing me mercy. I was genuinely surprised, not
expecting such a kind act, not after all what happened before, and the
looming punishment that was still to happen. In fact, a trace of anger
appeared in me. Why couldn't He just get it over? How could He play me so
easily, keep me off my footing? But then through that anger, and despite
all the pain, it was what I wanted, what I needed. My eyes got watery again
for completely different reasons and I thanked Master again for what seemed
to be the theme of the evening. Perhaps I was finally learning?

Satisfied look on Master's face indicated that at least I was on the right
trail. After a couple of moments to calm down, I was unceremoniously
dragged off the bed into the little bathroom, firmly pushed down to kneel
next to the toilet. My heart rate sped up as I considered the only thing
this could mean. Before I had time to even consider it, the fly was already
open and the cock already ordered in my mouth. Trying not to cringe at the
taste of things to come, I followed blindly. The first squirt immediately
reminded me of the bitterness piss has. The flow increased and I was
desperately trying to keep up, but slowly falling behind until my gag
reflex simply put a stop to any progress, emptying everything in my mouth
on the tile floor. Sheepishly I looked up at Master, half expecting
admonishment, half hoping for understanding. When Master remained neutral I
resumed my position and we continued, but my throat already sensitive did
not take long to gag again. Again, no retribution although this time Master
did not bother to try again, instead finished pissing into the toilet,
leaving me to kneel beside it. In the mean time, I was feeling dejected by
my failure, anxious of the forthcoming reaction.

We both retreated back to the bed, and Master ordered me to suck Him
off. Hoping that perhaps I will be forgiven if I put extra effort here, I
sprung into action, trying my best. It wasn't meant to be however, as
Master used the opportunity to immediately remind me of my failure; first
to drink the piss as ordered, and second to thank him for the opportunity.
As those last words sank in, I felt especially devastated, stupid,
unworthy. How could I have forgotten so fast? I tried to rationalize to
myself, I was distraught from the previous failure, but that was simply an
excuse. As Master professed His disappointment I felt more hurt than given
by any clothespin that day. I desperately wanted to say how sorry I was,
beg for forgiveness, anything to be given another chance. But no, I had
another task at hand, and I didn't want to fail that too. Putting my grief
aside best I could, I worked at least on giving my Master some pleasure.
Even that took a while until Master grabbed the initiative and forcefully
finished by coming into my mouth, rewarding slave with bitter sweet load.

Short respite later, time has come for the punishment we both knew was
coming. Seemingly in an instant, the air got heavier; Master's demeanor
changed and the playful aura was gone. Stern look accompanied Masters eyes
as they bore into my soul. Coldness mixed with disappointment emanated from
His face as He ordered me into a new position.

"Slave, on your back, spread-eagle position." Brief. Not wasting any words,
but what words didn't say His face spoke volumes. I turned, trying to find
inner strength to face what was about to come. Yet, I didn't know what
awaited me. With my limits stretched in play as much as they were, fear
dominated my thoughts. Punishment was always much worse. Still resignation
and acceptance veiled the fear to the point it wasn't apparent. Or at least
so I thought.

"Do I need to gag you slave?" That caught me by surprise. He was giving me
a choice? It was going to be that intense? I was uncertain what to pick as
either choice can make the situation worse. Finally, after quelling my
fears I decided I was going to give it my best to contain it without a gag.

"No, Master."

Swiftly, His hands went rummaging in the toy bag, only to come out with a
little bottle what looked like to be icy hot and duct tape. Oh boy...

 "You have disappointed me on numerous occasions, and while you still have
plenty room to grow and learn, disappointment carries its consequences. You
have asked me to step out of my role as your Master temporarily, and while
I have granted you that, you will be punished for having me make false
appearances. You are a slave and you will remember that at all times."

"It pains me to have to punish you in this way, but you are my property and
you need to be brought back to what you are."

All the while I was silent listening to what was a solemn and almost
remorseful speech, the turmoil inside me was raging, heightened by the
memories of everything I failed recently. Remorse was about to boil over
and once Master was done, I silently whispered my apology. Neither of us
expected it to make any difference, least of which me who now needed this
punishment more than anything else to shed away the internal tumult.

Without further ado, Master put on nylon gloves and grabbed the bottle of
icy hot. As he approached me I strained my head up to see where it was
going. As he approached my sore and beat red crotch I stared in disbelief
at what was going to happen. Oh god no.

Liberal amount of icy hot found its way to my groin, roughly rubbed in on
my balls, groin, cock, the head and under the foreskin. The touch itself
was almost causing me to wince from the previous assaults, but there was no
other immediate pain. Just as his hand went to grab a second helping, my
crotch burst in what seemed a fiery hell ball. The waves of heat pulsed,
each causing me to twitch and twist, while He relentlessly applied even
more of the vicious liquid. I was now struggling to stay in the position,
twisting to the sides, teeth chattering, eyes closed shut, desperately
trying to reach for my subspace and get away from it. The intensity of the
situation however deemed it almost impossible and once I realized the
futility of it, I resigned myself to the ever growing burning sensation.
Despite the agonizing pain, I somehow managed to contain my trashing and
screams to my own surprise.

About fifteen minutes later, my tears were freely flowing now, my pain
thresholds fully breached, after having just suffered the worst of the
ordeal with the pain slowly declining. Master would have none of it, and
used His hand to rub, bend and squeeze my now extremely sensitive crotch,
eliciting yelps and winces that I could barely contain. Through teary eyes
I tried to look back at Him, not ask for mercy but convey how sorry I was,
how utterly remorseful I was. It helped to keep eye contact. Perhaps, I
could sooth them, show them I submit, accept, relent and repentance. Seek
absolution in that unyielding stare and shield myself from the aches
within. Momentary pain overloads would break our eye contact, but I would
always come back to His stare and hoped my submission would yield results.
Enthralled in my gaze I barely even noticed the pain was gone. The icy hot
did its part, and now only a dull ache was left, something my endorphins
could easily handle despite Master rubbing the skin still.

I took a moment to catch my breath, wiped my tears against the bed, before
replying: "Thank you Master, for correcting this slave". Now that it was
over it didn't seem as bad as it started out. In fact, I thought the
clothespins were worse. It didn't escape my Master either.

"I'm not done yet slave. Looks like the icy hot was fairly week to what I
was expecting. Oh well..."

Master got up from the bed and reached over for a cane. "Do you remember
what I told you where punishments are applied slave?"

Of course I did. Either irritants, chemicals or feet were involved. I
shifted nervously as I watched the cane; looks like it was time for
bastinado.

"Yes, Master. Either feet or irritants Master." The Master was busy cuffing
my leg cuffs to the bed post, but it proved rather difficult to restrain
them. After fiddling for a few minutes, He decided it was not going to
work, and instead reached for duct tape. Was He going to tape my legs to
the bed post?

But he never reached forward; He lifted my feet and started wrapping them
in duct tape. Now this raised my curiosity. What was He going to do with
it? The cane was back in the bag, and why did He need to wrap them anyway?
As He was progressing up the left foot, at one point he unwrapped a rather
long strain of duct tape and swung it over the top of my foot. On downward
stroke, He yanked as hard as He could, eliciting a surprise scream from me
as He applied pressure on my toes. They were painfully forced downward at
the straight angle compared to the rest of the foot, and held tight by ever
tightening duct tape. Pressure was building with each wrap, and I was now
continuously crying/screaming almost hyperventilating, almost sure He was
going to dislodge them out of place.

"You are a slave!" All I could hear is duct tape being unwrapped.

"You will act like one, and abide my wishes as your Master." My other foot
exploded in pain as well.

"You made me do this!" I trashed to the sides, trying to escape the pain,
anything that would help, but the cuffs gave me barely any wriggle room.

"We could have played some more, but you brought this on yourself."
Overloaded with pain I could not think or act. My body acted on its own,
and the guttural screams were my only escape.

"I know I agreed to this... But at the price, you are paying now." He kept
going until my feet were completely mummified in duct tape, with toes
unnaturally bent straight. The pain cloud slowly cleared as there was no
additional pressure and I finally summoned enough clarity to make out what
He was saying.

"Please Master, forgive me, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!", I managed through
extensive sobbing. He observed me for a few moments, no doubt gauging how
to proceed. After a short silence and respite which I desperately needed,
He moved to the side of the bed.

"Get up!" Did I hear that right?!

"Get the fuck up!"

Tentatively, I lifted my feet over to the side and over, letting them
barely rest on the floor.

"Get up or I will get you up!"

Trying to rest my weight on my heels I lifted myself, but as soon as I did
I saw white. Breathless yelp escaped me as I tumbled back onto the bed. The
sharp pain pierced deep and I couldn't breathe for a second.

"Again! And stay up!"

With tears flowing again, I forced myself to get up, knees shaking. Slowly,
I managed to get up, gritting my teeth, barely managing, knees almost ready
to give out. I was ready to do anything, to get off of my feet.

"I should have you walk around the room." My eyes instantly went up, and
I'm sure I gave Master the most pitiful look I could manage. If He enjoyed
my desperation it didn't show on His face. Still, He paused for a second,
patiently studying me, while I slumped down and feared the worst.

"But I won't."

"Thank you, Master!" My prayers were answered.

Instead, I was pushed back onto the bed, my legs following in step and
Master grabbed the loose duct tape on my left foot.

"You might want to prepare yourself slave, this might hurt." No sooner than
the sentence was finished the tape began unwinding itself, and I saw white
again. The blood came rushing back to my feet, pain almost as intense as
during the initial wrap. I didn't care, however. It was over; I could see
the end of the punishment session and the pain was a distant beast that
could not hurt me anymore. Soon enough all of my restraints were removed
and Master climbed onto the bed next to me. With sudden display of
gentleness, his hand wiped away the tears from my face.

"I am so lucky to have you", a quiet whisper reached my ear.

"You please me in so many ways; I am truly lucky to have found you. Even if
you are not perfect, you are perfect enough for me."  My mind, still in
partial daze, could only think of rollercoaster. How my feelings, emotions
could so easily be flung across the extremes. How He managed in a single
sentence to transmute all my sorrows and remorse into an unyielding
devotion. My whole body ached, but coming down from the endorphin high I
was happier than I have been for months.

"Now, let's head out for dinner and get you rested for tomorrow; we don't
want to miss your graduation now, do we? Especially, since all of this
would have been for naught."

As I was slowly getting dressed, I wondered if anyone was going to notice
the remnants of tonight's session. But, it seemed Master was careful not to
leave any visible traces, which only left me to deal with soreness. The
worst was over, I vowed to myself, and if necessary I would force myself
through the discomfort and act as if nothing happened. It turned out it
wasn't a big issue; much more distressing was the ever present threat of
revealing our relationship to others from the now ingrained slave behavior.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

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