Date: Sat, 12 Mar 2016 22:54:22 +0000 (UTC)
From: gt <oldtxsub@yahoo.com>
Subject Last Chance

Copyright 2016 by the author. For private use.
oldtxsub@yahoo.com

DISCLAIMER: For adults only. Not for minors. Delete if illegal in your
jurisdiction. This is a work of fiction. Just my fantasy. Author's note:
Comments and suggestions most welcome.

Please consider making a donation to the Nifty archive at
http://donate.nifty.org/donate.html that the only way this site stays up.

___________________________________


I knew I was asking for trouble when I answered the email. But, down deep
it was I wanted out of my lonely existence and I knew what I needed. My
years of denial to finally confront my real needs and desires. It hadn't
been alone though it had been a journey over the internet in email and
chat. I was 52 divorced, broke and living alone. The devastating but not a
surprise, she hated me and I hated her. Well she did love my money since
she took all of it with her.  I was happy to be divorced from her but not
happy with my situation. Friends had tried to get me to go out but they all
reminded me of her and that was the last thing I wanted, to spend any more
time with a female. I was lonely but for one thing, the one thing I really
missed from my childhood. The one thing I had tried so hard to suppress and
deny. I liked Men – I was sexually attracted to men- strong men – men
who dominated and controlled me.

It began when I was 14.  My Mom was single, Dad had disappeared and left
Mom, me and my sister alone.  Mom had a good job working for a group of
Doctors. She was attractive and started dating soon after Dad left.  I
guess she was serious because she would send my sister and I off on Friday
night and pick us up late Sunday.  My sister went to stay with her best
friend. Mom had me stay with one of the single Doctors she worked with.  He
had to be the best looking Man I have ever seen. He looked like actor and a
body builder.  I will never know if Mom knew, I think she did, but he was
gay. Not only gay but especially fond of boys. Boys like me, shy, small and
immature. I was all of that - small for my age, shy and physically and
emotionally immature. I hated school e Especially gym and I was always
getting picked on by stronger boys. Almost once a week I ran crying to the
office to get away from some bully. I guess Mom thought I needed a strong
male influence in my life. I doubt that Mom knew how strong that influence
was and where it would lead. Either way it led me to discover what I was
and what I craved.  I craved and needed the physical love of and domination
of a man.  I was, and know I am, gay. Not only am I gay I am a bottom a
submissive, I am into pain and humiliation and anything that my Master
wants. It is not something that I knew back then – it is what I learned
or was taught by Dr. Ben. It was Dr. Ben who helped me discover my true
being as he led me into his world. He taught me my position at his feet,
that my role is to give pleasure to real men, that pain is pleasure, and
that only through giving myself to my superiors can I be who I am.

But I digress. It was almost 40 years ago that Dr. Ben was done with me. He
literately kicked me out.  I was growing older and more physically mature,
not much to his tastes' for immature boys.  The worse day was the one when
he brought home his new boy and made me watch as he broke him in to my
previous role. I cried as I saw him enter the boy and breed him like he had
done to me some many times. I knew my time was over. It was then until now
I suppressed who I was. I was ashamed and lost because Dr. Ben rejected me.
I decided to try to live the straight life. I dated – had sex with women
and finally married. For all of the years I tried to suppress my
desires. But I lived a fantasy life, adult book stores, magazines and
finally the gay erotica world on the internet. It was the stories on Nifty
that brought me back to the excitement I had known. I could live the life I
wanted as a fantasy in the gay/authoritarian stories. Finally, I progressed
to needing more – I discover cybersex, online camera with other
Men. That was my downfall. She caught me. I was naked jacking off to the
image of another guy on line – he was yelling at me calling me a faggot
– ordering me to jack off for him and to eat my cum. I gladly obeyed,
but didn't know she watched it all, and recorded it on her phone. That was
it she finally had me. The divorce and my money and house went quick, I was
in no position to complain unless I wanted the school and my friends to see
the video. I was a professor at a prestigious school, that certainly would
not have wanted anything to do with a pervert. She threw me out that night
and here I am living in a small one room efficiency, still teaching most of
my money goes to lawyers and her. I didn't even have a TV. But I did have
the internet. Through it I discovered sites like silverdaddies, squirt,
bear forest etc. I joined them all to find chat partners. But I needed more
– I needed to feel a Man on me and in me again. That led me to
Craigslist. "obedient submissive seeks aggressive Master". That was my
headline. In the ad I explained I was 100% submissive seeking total control
and training from an experienced Master. I listed few limits and claim to
be open to all scenes.  I got a lot of responses that I could tell were
phony.  But one struck me as serious. "While I doubt you are serious, if
you are; be at the Starbucks on Beltlines Road at 7pm tomorrow evening. You
will wear a tight pink shirt and short leather shorts . You will not see
me; I will not talk to you. This is a test to see if you are serious. Send
me you telephone number; I will text you while you are there.  If I am
pleased with your obedience I will email you further instructions." Master
Jack. I emailed back; I will be there ,Sir."

I had to follow the instructions, it seemed like this was my last chance to
find what and who I needed. I was scared what if it was a nut, or if I was
recognized, my students came from all over town.  But this was it, my last
chance. I had pink t-shirt, but no "boy shorts". I was 52 and dressed
conservatively all my life. I didn't even know where to find leather
shots. I went to the old standard and found some on Amazon, ordered them
same day delivery to make sure I had them on time.  I was going to do it. I
didn't care anymore if I got caught or if it was a nut, this was my last
chance. I was hard but I didn't want to masturbate – I wanted to stay
excited for him. I could hardly sleep thinking about the next step. I
needed my sleep since I had to lecture all day tomorrow.  All I could do
was remember my times with Dr. Ben and the excitement I felt in his
control.  School was a blur – I hardly remember anything form the day. I
showered and dressed. I looked in a mirror and it was not pretty. A
52-year-old man dressed like a 18 year old faggot.  At least I was in
shape, cycling a 10 miles a week had kept my body in good shape and with my
shaved head it wasn't totally obscene Tight leather shorts and a tight pink
shirt. But you could tell what I was by the way I was dressed, no one would
miss guess I was queer. I guess that is what he wanted. I was hard, but
since I am so small down their no one could tell. Three inches hard is not
much to show off.  It was 6:30 time to go, this was it.

I drove to the Starbucks and parked as close to the door as I could. I
didn't want to spend too much time walking across the parking lot dressed
like this.  I was about to head in when my phone buzzed that I had a text
message. "is that you, boy". It was him he must be in there watching for
me. I answered "yes, Sir". "Come in and order a Chi tea. The find a seat
and sip your tea."  I headed in, the store was crowded. I tried not to make
it obvious I was looking around for him, but I was anything but
inconspicuous, I swear everyone in there stopped what they were doing and
stared at me as I walked to the counter.  I waited in line to order, there
were about three ahead of me. When my time came the barista said "what will
it be Sir", you could tell the Sir was said sarcastically. So much for the
liberals and Starbucks.  I ordered and got my drink and walked to an empty
table.  There were about five guys in the place, only three were alone. Two
looked like students, only one seemed to be older, but he had his nose in a
newspaper and I don't think he ever looked my way. I sipped my tea just
casually looking around.  The phone buzzed; "Go to the Men's room. Enter
the stall and don't lock the door. Text me when you are there."  I got up
and headed to the back of the store and the restrooms. I went in the Men's
and headed to the stall. I sat down and texted I was in the stall.  The
reply cam soon: "jack-off and do not lock the stall. When you done leave
your cum on you hand and come out and sit back down."  I sat in the toilet
with my pants at my ankles and started stroking. It wasn't going to take
long I was really excited and it had been three days since I jacked off.
Just as I was finishing I heard the door open to the bathroom and heard
steps to the stall. The door flew open and there was one of the students
staring at me my pants at my ankle jacking off. It was fate as the door
opened I shot a huge load all over my pants and legs. The door slammed as
he screamed "Fucking pervert" and stormed out of the bathroom. I quickly
got as much as I could on my hand and pulled up my shorts. I didn't want to
go out there, that student would probably be there still. I was right as
soon as I stepped out the was standing there waiting to go in. He just
stared and laughed as I walked by, how humiliating.  Just then my phone
buzzed "Good boy, btw I think he told everyone."  I sat back down and
finished my tea. I must have sat there for an hour and I never heard
anything form him.  I just got up a left, I guess he wasn't interested. It
was probably a joke, that student was probably the one who set me up. I
guess he and his friends had a good laugh, ordering around some old queer.
I was depressed, it wasn't going to happen. I drove home and cried myself
to sleep. What a fool.

It was back to the routine. Get up, go to school, come home to my room,
read stories on Nifty.org, jackoff and sleep and start all over. I had
tried – it didn't work. It was just like Dr. Ben had said – no one
wants you when you get old. I was really old now and it was really true
now.  Finally, Friday at least I didn't have to put up with students for
two days.  I headed to the store to get myself a steak and some wine to get
drunk with so I could sleep through the weekend.  I was in the store when
my phone buzzed. "the Dallas Eagle, at 9pm tonight same outfit".