Date: Thu, 12 Sep 2013 17:03:11 -0400
From: Jonna
Subject: Paroled

Paroled


     My Family and friends call me John or mostly Johnny. Now a days I have
a different name that is reserved for a small group of special friends.
It's Jonna, normally. Cock-ho and cum dump sometimes. Yeah, real strange
names for a guy in his mid forties with a wife and kids. A white guy, five
foot seven and a hundred and fifty pounds of average, with a normal mundane
40 hour a week job. Again agerage. Perhaps not so average. I thought I
would share the story of my conversion from a straight male to a bisexual
maneater. The short of it is I answered an ad on craigslist. However,
something of this magnitude rarely has a short explanation. So get
comfortable. This is gonna take a while.

      I'd been lurking on the craigslist personals boards for a while. A
long while. It was January 2012 when I answered the ad. Actually, it was
the third or fourth ad I answered. You go thru a few before you get a
response. I call him Dodge guy. We emailed back and forth for a week then
started texting one another. It was my first foray into this sort of
thing. Very new and still on the fence about a lot of things. We met. I got
nervous and bailed on him the next day. Never called him back. I still feel
bad about that. I just froze up. I learned from it though. I should have
been up front about my need to be femme. I should have been up front about
lots of stuff. So, I cooled it for a while. I went soul searching, I
cleaned myself up. I was feeling old and fat, I couldn't do anything about
my age but I went on a diet. I regrouped and decided to just put it all out
there on the line. A Hell Mary. so I went back on CL and trolled the boards
again. Same thing, lots of playing but nothing was panning out. I almost
quit. Then I answered an ad from a black guy looking for a bottom friend,
when I answered this ad however, I sent a picture of me in panties from the
waist down. I wanted there to be no doubt about what I was into. I got a
reply almost instantly. That was something new.

     We emailed back and forth a few times and then I gave him my
number. He called me five minutes later. Fuck! Never expected that! Dodge
guy waited weeks before a met, and NEVER called me, always email and
text. I could barely speak when I answered the phone. Daddy was smooth
though. Walked me right on thru it, a real pro. I knew that right from the
git. Had me spilling my guts inside of ten minutes. That was my turning
point in life...for real. A brief phone call that would alter my perception
of everything. We met at a gas station a few days later, a meet and
greet. He was a good looking guy about 40, 6' 220 lbs. Clean cut with very
short hair and a thin well groomed mustache. Glasses. Smelled really
nice. He wore a loose athletic shirt and large baggy gym shorts. I got in
the front seat of his SUV to talk, nothing more. Three minutes later he has
guided my hand to his exposed cock, he never even slowed down the
talk. Just looking me right in the eyes the whole time. Pinching my nipples
through my t-shirt. Had me admitting out loud that I was a sissy. A fucking
bitch who needed cock. Until that very moment, even after the talks on the
phone and the sex talk emails, saying those things to a man while holding
his cock in my hand was the moment that I knew I would never be the person
I was before I got in that car. Things had changed. He told me to lick his
precum off my fingers, and I did. I'll never forget what he said after I
did that. " I knew you was a cock ho before you did" said he had me pegged
after our first phone call. As I left his car he called me back over. I
stuck my head in his ride and he stuck his tongue down my throat. I was
shocked. Really shocked when I held the back of his head and kissed
back. "See, I know you, I know you want my dick right now. I could fuck you
right here in the back of my car and you would let me. You a fucking cunt
in heat." ˙He laughed after he said that and told me he was sending me a
list of instructions.


      The list was hygiene related and skincare stuff. He told me to shave
off my mustache. Oh, and instructions to start working my boypussy with a
big dildo, because he had a big dick and didn't want me to get hurt. He's
nice like that?..thinking of my welfare. It took two weeks to get the
timing right. All the while stoking my flames. He indulged my desire to
wear something feminine, but barely. He don't care about the reasons why a
sub wants to take dick. Only that they do and do it enthusiastically. Daisy
Dukes without panties. A halter top with my padded bra. That's it. No wig,
no makeup, no sexy high heels or hose. He walked in like it was his house,
locked the door behind him, asked if we was alone. Of course we were. He
looked at me and said turn around and show me that ass. Pull your shorts up
in that crack! Bend over and work that ass!
 It was on.

       I always found trannies and shemales hot. Since the first magazine I
found with pictures of Sulka. I fantasized about having sex with them. I?d
Watch the porn and read the stories. Back in the day before the internet,
I'd slink into dirty bookstores to get my trannie fix. Always fantasy, too
up tight and in denial for anything else, because truth be told, I didn't
just want to be WITH a shemale....I wanted to BE a shemale. There, I said
it. There was a time I couldn't. There was a time I couldn't and wouldn't
do a lot of things that I easily do now. I loved the female form. Soft
smooth skin, the sexy curve of a womans waist and hips. Her breasts and
smooth rounded ass. Here was the perfect form.  A beautiful woman.... with
a cock. Alpha and Omega. Over the course of several years I dressed, I
dreamed and I cursed myself and my life. I'd purge. Walk away from the
clothes the stories and trannie porn. Addiction is a terrible thing. It
will ruin the best of you, reduce a person to nothing. Less than nothing. A
taker of all that's good from themselves and everyone around them. A
parasite. It was just like that, only I suffered it alone. I would workout,
grow a beard. Get in fights. Joined the fucking Army. It didn't matter,she
was there.Jonna. Always there. Waiting, waiting for her day, like a
prisoner waiting for parole. Who knows how it starts, but it does. It
creeps back in your life. That need that desire....then along came the
internet. My gateway to nirvana. My gold mine, my Waterloo and my Alamo. I
say MY Waterloo and Alamo. Jonna? Jonna found her parole board paperwork
signed sealed and delivered. The key to the front gate of the prison
hanging by her party dress and high heeled shoes. She didn't look back....

      I discovered many things "surfing the net" the fact that I wasn't
alone in my fucked up sexuality and gender crisis. In fact, I was behind
the times. There was a huge culture out there passing me by. Not
anymore. Jonna saw to that!

      "That's right work it! Walk towards the kitchen. Stop, turn around"
when I turned back there he was, he had his pants off and his cock pointing
in my direction. I had seen most of it in the front of his car, but now
there it was in all it's glory. Bobbing up and down while I just stood
there heart pounding out of my chest. Tell me what you see bitch! He
said. I told him I see his cock. "Then drop those shorts and crawl over
here and pay respects." I do. Still on my knees he holds his cock, all 9
inches of fat black dick. It's bigger and fatter than any dildo I ever
had. He puts it right up to my face and slaps me with it. "You want daddies
dick?" Oh yes. "Then ask me." I ask for his cock. He's fucking with me
now. So I ask again, if I can have his cock.

   I try to put my hand out and touch it, feel it. He pulls back and says
no bitch! Mouth only! You can cup my balls after you lick'em. So I bend my
head down and put my mouth on another man's balls while wearing a bra and
halter top, right there on my livingroom floor. He smelled musky but
clean. I licked and sucked a few seconds. He pulls away again and aims his
cock towards my mouth. Here we go I think to myself as I lick up his cock
from the balls. I wrap my lips around the head and begin my descent. Not
just on that cock. MY descent. I only go about two inches. It's enough. He
knows I ain't ever done this before. Just days ago I couldn't utter the
words cocksucker and now here I am. Sucking cock. He rocks his hips back
and forth a few times to give me an idea of what it's all about.

He's not here for a blow job.

     He pushes me off his dick and asks if I lubed up my boipussy like he
told me to. Yes I say. "Yes what?" Yes Daddy? "That's right cunt. You bout
to be daddies bitch. You ain't think this gonna happen did you?"
Truthfully, no I thought to myself, but I told him yeah I knew it, cause
you said you was gonna do it. He said that's right but I know you won't
sure till now. Where is your lube? We gonna need more. I give it to him. He
bends me over the arm of my couch. I swear to god all I could think about
for that split second was, damn! I gotta throw this couch out after
this. Funny how shit goes through your mind sometimes. He puts a lubed
finger about a half inch in my boipussy. Feels cold but nice. Slaps my ass
cheeks with his other hand. He works his finger in and out asking if I been
practicing with my toy. "Yeah I been practicing" ain't as big as me though
is it? He said. "No" It's really not. I'm pushing back a little now onto
his finger, two fingers then three. Keeps telling me I got a sexy ass. I
got a tight boipussy. Tells me how I'm gonna get turned out today. You
gonna be begging daddy for his cock. You got a smooth boipussy, damn bitch!
I'm gonna fuck that hole. Keeps up the trash talk while I'm bent over the
arm of the family sofa.


    I joined several groups on yahoo. All dealing with shemales, trannies,
transition groups. Guys who want to be girls. Guys who like to dress up
like girls. You name it, I joined it. I learned so much all those hours,
days, weeks, months and years, logged onto my computer. I found story sites
that catered to my fantasies. I found video sites that showed more shemale
porn from every perspective than I could ever watch. Believe me I
tried. You begin to get jaded. I started finding my perspective changing. I
always considered myself a "lipstick lesbian" in a guys body. Then I
noticed something, I was tuning into guy on shemale porn more and more. My
turn-on started shifting away from the hot tranny to the hot guy getting
the blowjob of his life. And I discovered I was jealous, jealous of
her. Why couldn't I be the one sucking that cock while trying to keep my
boobs from bouncing off my chin, as the other guy was plowing my ass?

Life wasn't fair.


    Hold that boipussy open! I was, both hands spreading my cheeks wide. My
face was resting on the arm of the sofa. I was looking at the jumbled pile
of wires under the tv stand. I could feel the cool breeze on my puckered
hole. The ceiling fan was on high. The a/c was pumping out cold air and I
was sweating.




    All the talk, all the years of reading stories and watching the videos,
all the things I've done have led to this moment. I heard the slap of his
condom. Breath out slow he tells me. Like a sex coach. I feel his cock
slide up and down my crack. Guess he's lubing up his cock. Tells me to feel
his dick at my hole, so I reach over to feel it. He says "no, reach from
under you, up between your legs like a bitch. Cause you bout to be my
bitch. Its time you act like one."


     I had read enough on the yahoo groups to be a licensed gender
therapist. I could probably pass the test at the local pharmacy just by
looking at the pills. I know more about hormones and feminization surgery
than any guy should. Jonna? She couldn't get enough. One quick internet
search and a credit card order later and I was gobbling down my first batch
of female hormones and testosterone blockers. There is a fine line someone
like me has to walk. The doting father and loving husband verses my other
self, Jonna. Popping estrogen pills like Elvis ate pain killers and peanut
butter and banana sandwiches has consequences. It didn't take long to
realize that growing boobs was going to be a problem. As bad as Jonna
needed to be, I couldn't do it. Sanity had to rule. I slowed down, even
quit for a while. Now it's a very low dose. Much like a maintanence
dose. Just enough to keep "her" happy and me free to live with the duality
of it all. So now it's small boobs and an ass no guy should have. It's a
suitcase full of sexy clothes, and a knock off Gucci bag full of
makeup. Oh, and a deep seeded need to have sex with a man.


     Daddy has popped his fair share of cherries. I couldn't have lost my
virginity to a better man. I could feel his cock pushing in. I tried to
relax. Daddy kept at it. It was tight. "Relax baby". He called me
baby. Such a sweetheart! I let out more breath as he pushed more. I won't
lie. It wasn't easy. Taking in that cock. Surrendering what little bit of
manhood I may have had left. "That's good", I heard him say as his cock
head popped thru. "Oh hell yeah!" he said. No pain I thought to myself. I
could feel him going on. Felt his cock in my ass and felt his cock sliding
thru my fingers because my hand was still there as if I was guiding it
in. I felt his balls soon enough. I had all his cock in my boipussy. I took
my hand away to steady myself on the sofa arm. Loverboy was heavy. Now that
his cock was resting firmly in my boipussy, he put his hands on my hips,
gripping me. I really liked that feeling. I was his possession. To do with
what he will. He started up the trash talk. Coach and sweetheart had taken
the back seat. Started calling me names and asking how I liked being a cock
ho. All the while working up a rhythm, picking up the pace. "You didn't
think you was a cock slut did you" You found your place now". I'm loving
every second of it. It's everything I ever expected. It's nothing like I
ever expected. It's feeling real good I'm even pushing back to meet his
thrusts. It's a few minutes later when he slows down and stops. He doesn't
pull all the way out. We shuffle over to the front of the couch where he
sits down still holding me by my hips. Cock still in my boipussy. Coach and
sweetheart show back up. "Ok baby, I want you to ease on down. That's
right. Take daddies cock. Oh yeah!" Oh yeah is right. I like this way. Now
I'm fully impaled, resting my ass on his lap.

    He grabs my boobs and tells me to lean back, arch my back and
hips. "Start riding baby". Baby again, I'm really liking how that
sounds. Up and down I go a time or two. It's fucking awesome! I start
fucking good now. I'm controlling the pace and depth of the fucking. At
least for a few minutes. Loverboy must like this because he starts bucking
up to meet my thrusts! Fuck! I'm in heaven. We're both getting vocal now.

     It seems so surreal now, that day. A culmination of years of desire,
being fulfilled. My legs started cramping. I was in a completely different
place than I usually am when having sex! This time it was me who slowed
down and stopped. I asked him if we could get on the floor. He was hot and
horny for sure because he didn't even say anything, just eased me off his
dick and let me lay down on the floor. I spread my legs like a bitch in
heat, which I was. He positioned himself and slung both my legs up and over
his shoulders. Now I'm on my upper back and shoulders ass in the air. He
slides right in all the way to the bottom. Easy Peasy! I must have been
wide fucking open by then. So now my ass cheeks are resting on his
thighs. Wow! He's in DEEP. Shit! Now I'm getting FUCKED! Ain't a damn thing
I can do but lay there and take a pounding from hell. This motherfucker is
on a mission now. "That's right let it out bitch!" I didn't even know I was
moaning.... and screaming. It was so fucking good. He should do pornos. A
fucking stallion on steroids. I hear myself say fuck me fuck me fuck me
over and over. I heard him too. He was loving it. By now my legs had
slipped down to rest somewhere around his upper arms. I had no control
anymore. I could see my feet bouncing to the beat of the pounding I was
taking. Daddy was in a his zone. I was in sissy fucking heaven.

    I wish I could say I felt it when he came in my ass but it would be a
lie. What I did feel though was a piston slamming in and out of my boipussy
and then he sunk deep then pushed DEEPER still! Fuck! I felt some pain that
time! Good pain though, because my man was busting his nut! No going back
now. Not ever. I just willingly wantonly, had sex with a man. He came deep
in me. I loved it. All of it. The verbal humiliation. The tender moments of
passion. Even the discomfort and brief periods of pain. The whole thing
took maybe twenty, thirty minutes. The most powerful and life changing
minutes of my life. Never again could I look at a man the same way I did
just a short time ago. I was undeniably a bisexual. Off the fence. I love
men. Their touch, smell, their bodies. What they could do to me, for me and
how I could pleasure them in return. There is a certain feeling of
dominance and control that a woman has over a man when they are making
love. I never realized that till now. Loverboy won't much for chitchat so
five minutes after he came.....he left. Just like that. Left me on my
living room floor. No thank you very much or was it good for you?
Nothing. He ain't boyfriend material. It didn't mean a damn thing to him. I
was just a white cum dump for a big black cock. Nothing more. I can live
with that. As a matter of fact, I'm planning on doing this a lot more. My
parole papers have just been signed and the key to the prison gate hangs by
my party dress and my 5 inch hi-heeled fuck me pumps. I'm not looking
back......

     Jonna is now one happy bitch and so am I. I realize now that I should
have paroled Jonna a long long time ago, because her prison was my prison
too.