Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2010 03:09:38 -0400
From: Greg Camsucker <greg.camsucker@gmail.com>
Subject: Professional Cocksucker: Part 5 - Learning My Place

Here are several pieces, all of which share the theme of me learning my
place as a cocksucker.

********************

A Really, Really Straight Guy


I had an interesting experience at work (OK, I still have to stop and marvel
when I say that). Mike called me into his office and told me that he was
sending me to a straight guy, like really straight, who was climbing the
walls because his wife wouldn't suck his cock and getting good head was
pretty much all he could think of.

He told me not to speak to this guy unless I was spoken to, which is fine
with me. I went to the guy's office, he unzipped, and I went about showing
him what it's like for a man to get a real blowjob from a serious
cocksucker. The interesting part was afterwards. I always keep a man's cock
in my mouth until he tells me to take it out. I did the same with this guy.
After a couple of minutes, he kind of tentatively said "Um, go now". As I
got up to walk to the door, he averted his eyes so he couldn't see me and
then he covered his face with a baseball cap.

It was pretty clear that he was an honest to goodness straight guy, and he
had me sucking him because he had a need and I was the best way to fill it.
But once he came, he needed not to be near a male cocksucker, because his
desire was gone and he was just left with the fact that he had let a guy
suck his cock and swallow his load. The next time I sucked him, I got off
his cock right away, and I was already leaving when he started to tell me to
go. And again, he covered his eyes so he didn't have to look at me. I only
saw it out of the corner of my eye, because I realized that I shouldn't look
at him once he came.

I've never had a guy react like that before, but I'm grateful that I could
be of service even to a guy who can't bring himself to look at me.

********************

Rick's Cocksucker


On the other hand, someone emailed me and said he'd like to get a look at
Rick's cock.  Here was my response:

I'm not allowed to talk to him other than to say "Hello, Mr. Jones" and
"Thank you, Mr. Jones". He regards me as a member of the service staff, like
the janitors. All of his decisions about my job have gone through Mike, and
after my first session with Rick, Mike called me in to say that I had done a
good job and to tell me the rules for how I was to behave around Rick.

It makes sense. Like I said, I have the credentials to be a reasonably
high-level employee, but that's becoming more and more of a cover so they
can pay me to be a cocksucker. Rick has people who provide all kinds of
services for him, and none of them would dare cross the line and ask him for
anything.

BTW, it's literally "Hello, Mr. Jones" when I arrive and "Thank you, Mr.
Jones" after I swallow, and nothing else. Any other questions he asks are
yes or no, and I nod my response. (Which is good, because usually my mouth
is full of cock.) Anything else I have to say to him goes through Mike.

Which is my long way of saying that unfortunately, if you want a picture of
his cock, you would have to ask someone who he was on intimate terms with.
I'm just his cocksucker.

********************

Put In My Place


Wow, did I fuck up today.

I'm in my new office now. An Indian guy came in, mid-40s, good shape, and
just said "You're gonna like sucking this". He undid his belt and dropped
his pants to reveal a massive--just immense--thick, uncut cock. It had to be
a good 9.5" long and it was so thick that my jaw still hurts from doing my
job. In terms of overall size (weight, volume, whatever) it was probably the
biggest cock I've ever seen in my life. I'm pretty skilled at servicing guys
of all sizes and shapes, but this was a challenge for me. Basically he just
inserted it and started fucking my mouth until he worked his way down to my
throat. I couldn't work it with my lips or tongue. There was just no room to
move. Even the head, which was the size of a nectarine (and just as juicy :D
) was too big for me to do anything but let my mouth be used as a tube for
fucking. That was fine with me, of course, but I hoped that my feeder
wouldn't be disappointed in the quality of the head I gave him.

Well, he wasn't disappointed. I was able to take a good fucking, and he
ignored things like my gag reflex and my breathing and just used me as the
hole he needed. When he shot his load, it left his dick at a point that was
already down my throat. I have no idea how big it was or what it tasted
like, but I can tell you that it was 8 or 9 spurts. It was like having an
epileptic anaconda in my mouth! I could feel the cock muscles jerking, and
the waves of cum as they passed through his cock and into my stomach.
Amazing!

Then I met with Mike for him to give me my weekly performance assessment. He
gives me compliments and complaints, allows me to explain anything that
needs explaining, and then gives me his assessment of what I need to work on
as a cocksucker.

He asked me about the Indian guy, who turned out to be a client. And this is
where I fucked up.

"Fucking incredible cock, Mike. He puts Rick to shame."

The performance assessment passed without incident, and I went back to my
office. I didn't have any idea of what I had done. About 5 minutes later I
got a call from Rick--strange enough, because as I said, he doesn't deal
directly with the help. He was pissed off beyond belief and all he said was
"Get. The fuck. Into my office." (New office or not, Rick is too important,
too hot, and too alpha male to travel to get his cock sucked. I'm still
going to him.)

I was freaked out, and I went up to the exec floor and went into Rick's
office. I'm a beta male, and I know my place. The look on Rick's face alone
was enough to make me wonder if there was such a thing as a gamma male. I
had done something to piss him off, and the feeling of his superiority and
my submissiveness was almost electric. It was nature reminding me of the
order of things.

Rick whipped out his cock. "Does this look like it's ever been put to
fucking shame?"

"No, Mr. Jones."

"Who the fuck do you think you are? You get paid suck cock. You don't judge
cocks."

"Yes, Mr. J--"

He backhanded me and told me not to speak. I was afraid I was going to be
fired. I hadn't just been impolitic and said something that I needed to
apologize for. I had insulted the cock of a senior executive who could
destroy me a thousand times over without breaking a sweat. This was serious.
Very serious. I had not only jeopardized my job, but I had also violated one
of the very basics of being a cocksucker: a cocksucker is grateful and shows
respect to the men who allow him access to their cocks.

I have never in my life felt as humiliated, as wrong, or as scared as I did
at that moment.

Rick proceeded to lecture me about his cock, his conquests, and my role as a
cocksucker. He went over the basics of what he expects from an employee and
more specifically from an employee like me. I deserved the dressing down,
and I was thankful that he wanted to correct my behavior rather than fire
me.

What happened next is hard to describe. If you've seen the scene in Fargo
where the Native American guy whips Steve Buscemi with his belt, that will
give you an idea. Rick demonstrated the superiority of his cock by using it
to smack me around. I can honestly say that I learned to respect that cock
more than any other cock I've ever known. When he was done with his lecture
and with the beating (really what it was), he looked at me with just about
as much contempt as I've ever seen, and said "Suck it".

I had already serviced him twice before today. I always do my best for any
man who uses me, but I was driven to make this the absolute test of my
abilities as a cocksucker. I gave him the best, hungriest, wettest, hottest,
deepest, longest, most pleasureful blowjob I know how. I was worried that my
livelihood was still at stake, and I do not want to lose my job. Even more
than that, cocksucker is my identity, and it was even before I had this job.
I needed to redeem myself after having screwed up so badly. I needed to
demonstrate the depth of my respect for Rick, and more importantly, my
respect for the cock I had insulted.

The blowjob calmed Rick down, and he went into a blissful moaning, kicked
back, and let me do what he pays me for. After a while of edging him and
making him whimper with ecstasy, I could feel his balls tighten and his cock
jump. He had crossed the point of no return. I kept working his cock until
his load started shooting, at which point I kept my tongue going while I
nursed his load out with the rest of my mouth.

Nothing, and I mean nothing, will ever put Rick to shame. After being
serviced twice and having to berate a fuckup of an employee, he shot a load
that was probably bigger than the previous two put together. It was an honor
to be the receptacle for a load of that size, and doubly so because it came
from a true alpha male and was a perfect demonstration of why he is one of
the most perfect, virile, dominant men I will likely ever meet.

I learned today to remember that Mike is not my friend, he's my boss. I need
to maintain a professional manner around him and not allow myself to try to
take advantage of our acquaintance by crossing lines. He is the man who made
this life possible for me, and I owe it to him to be as professional and as
respectful as I know how. I also learned that I can never forget what I
am--a submissive cocksucker. I suck cocks of all sizes and shapes. Mike
knows that Rick has a bigger dick than him, and a bigger dick than everyone
but the Indian guy. In saying that Rick was put to shame, I was saying that
all of the men who allow me to fulfill my true reason for being alive should
be ashamed of their cocks. Mike saw that I need to be taught a lesson, and
he made sure I got it. He's taken a genuine interest in my development as a
cocksucker, and I am humbly grateful to him, and of course to Rick, who was
the one who taught me the lesson, and who was then kind enough to allow me
to service the very cock I had belittled.

I was reminded of my place. I won't soon forget it.

********************

A Man With His Cock in a Cocksucker's Mouth is a King


If I've learned anything, it's that a man with his cock in a cocksucker's
mouth is a king. There is no difference between the way that I am treated by
a janitor and the way that I am treated by Rick. Guys are friendly or
distant, they are dominating or more egalitarian, they are how they are, but
it has nothing to do with their status within the company. When they're
offered a cocksucker, they use him, and they know they're in control.

I sort of knew this already. There was a day a few years ago when I sucked
off the VP of facilities of a local biotech company, and a groundskeeper for
the same company. Literally the highest and the lowest guys in the
department. The VP was laid back and smiley, and the groundskeeper was
totally dominant. What I'm experiencing now is pretty much the same.

The one thing that does separate men is cock size. Guys who are 8" or larger
are almost always slightly more dominant. Men of all sizes take control and
act as though I owe them service (which, of course, I do). But guys over 8"
(and really thick guys over 7") almost universally have an amazing attitude
that makes it clear that they know--not think or believe, but know--that
they're doing a cocksucker a great honor and a great privilege by allowing
them even to see such an incredible cock.

Consider the reprimand that Rick gave me yesterday. A smaller man would have
been well within his rights to discipline a cocksucker/employee who did what
I did, but it's possible that he might have done so partly out of
insecurity. Rick is not insecure at all. He wasn't trying to convince me
that he was dominant and that his cock was significant. He is dominant and
it is a basic fact of his world that his cock is significant. He was showing
my where I belong in the hierarchy of things.

Not all smaller-cocked men are insecure, of course, but I think that every
large hung man I've met has been completely confident. It's hot as hell,
that's for sure.

I think if some of the janitors got the chance to use someone like Mike or
Rick (!), they'd probably be more dominant or aggressive. In my case, I
showed up one day, and they got to use me the next, so even though I'm
technically higher-up, they only ever knew me as a cocksucker. So maybe
nobody gets into the idea that their cock is being sucked by someone who
outranks them because they never thought of me as outranking them.

I'm just guessing, but that might be it.

********************

Missed a Drop


It may seem strange, but one aspect of my job is that I'm rather isolated. I
can't share what I do with anyone outside my feeders, and they don't care
about me (of course), they just care about getting serviced. I can talk to
Mike to some extent, though as I was reminded, I need not to forget my
place. But even then he is my boss and he discusses my performance, my
timeliness, any issues that my feeders have raised with him, and so on. He
offers me guidance, but he's not a sympathetic ear, he's the manager of a
cocksucker. I may do something very different from what other men at the
company do, but I am treated exactly like any other employee. Every aspect
of my performance is subject to scrutiny and review. It's an absolute
fucking dream--and apparently the company's 3-month review process involves
several stages and a group meeting. It's humiliating to have to discuss my
cocksucking technique, or defend my actions if someone was unhappy with my
gag reflex or in one case where I got throatfucked so well that my mouth and
throat watered and watered, which left the guy's chair wet and made it
unclear whether I had actually swallowed his entire load. (I did. I swear.
The day I miss a drop of a feeder's load is the day I submit my resignation,
because I will have ceased to be a cocksucker.) It's incredible to me that
they know what I am and feel no compunction about criticizing my performance
and helping me learn to do better.

I would never, ever, ever get defensive or disagree with a feeder's
criticism of my performance. They are my superiors and they are well within
their rights to tell me what I've done wrong so that I can fulfill my
responsibilities to them as well as possible.  What I was referring to when
I talked about defending my actions was my weekly meetings with Mike. He
gets feedback, and he takes notes. When there's a complaint about my
technique or my behavior, he requires me to defend my choices. If I can't, a
note goes into my cocksucker file with a corresponding note in my formal
employee file. (Positions that are as independent as my research job have
weekly meetings with weekly assessments.) It's a good way to help me
maintain my discipline. In any case, it doesn't matter what my defense of my
actions is. If there is a complaint, I have done something wrong and I need
to correct myself in the future. And if a feeder felt that I missed even a
drop of his cum, I didn't do my job. It doesn't matter whether I swallowed
it all or not. It matters whether my feeder believes that his load was shown
the proper respect.

In my new office I have chair covers that I can change between feeders. I
also have an array of towels and wipes, a hairdryer, and a private washroom
where my feeders can clean up if they want. The mess is less of a problem
than it was when I was traveling to my feeders, and I can tell they're
pleased at the level of attention to detail that they receive when they come
in to be serviced.

It was just that one feeder who thought I missed a drop of his cum, and it's
my fault for not giving him proper service. The seat covers are dark, so any
cum that spills (which I already regard as a sign of sloppiness or failure
on my part) is visible and I can lick it up. I always scan my feeder and the
chair and the floor to make sure I haven't offended him by wasting any of
his cum.

I do thank my feeders, of course. Some of them thank me, and I always make
it clear that I don't expect to be thanked, but I always say "You're
welcome". Mike always gives me any special instructions if they're
necessary, and he makes sure in my weekly reviews that he goes over what
behavior is expected of me.

I'm not ready to declare myself dedicated. I work hard to please my feeders
and my bosses, but I still make mistakes. On some level I know that I'm good
at what I do, but I don't let myself get caught up in that idea. It's better
if I always think that I've probably done something wrong and that I can
always improve. Otherwise I risk thinking that my feeders have the privilege
of using me, when the privilege is mine to be allowed to serve them. I don't
think a cocksucker has any room for ego.

I hope I'll do well at my review. A raise would be great, and honestly, I
can't think of a higher honor for a cocksucker than to pass a review of
three months of blowjobs. Maybe it's unrealistic, but there are a lot of
cocksuckers out there who would kill to have my job, and I sometimes think
that if I slack off, I could be replaced. I know that there are a lot of
other issues, including discretion (which Mike came to trust in over a
period of years as my feeder). But I'm going to keep working my hardest so
that I will deserve to keep my job.

Oh, also...Until I've demonstrated proper respect and reverence for Rick's
cock, I am not allowed to speak in his presence or to look him in the eyes.
Not being allowed to look at him is probably the most humiliating thing I've
ever been subjected to, so it's having its intended purpose. It's definitely
making me remember that he is my superior in every sense, and it makes me
grateful that he didn't just fire me after what I did.

He has beautiful eyes. Fuck, he has a beautiful everything. It will be nice
when I've earned the privilege of looking at him again.