Date: Fri, 19 Dec 2003 23:24:53 -0800 (PST)
From: Waddie Greywolf <waddiebear@yahoo.com>
Subject: "Ties That Bind Chapter 18"
DISCLAIMER: WARNING!! This is a work of homoerotic fiction written by an
adult for the purpose of entertainment for other adults. If you are not
eighteen years of age or you have any problem with this type of literature
then this is a warning to read no further. The author will not be held
responsible for any reason if you do.
(Codes: M/M BD/SM Master/slave WS Anal Oral)
Copyright 2003 Waddie Greywolf
Mail to: <waddiebear@yahoo.com>
================================================================
THE TIES THAT BIND
By Waddie Greywolf
CHAPTER 18 ~ PILGRIM'S STEPS
Part I ~ Tea For The Tillerman
may came home with a smooth round stone,
as small as a world and as large as alone,
for whatever we lose (like a you or a me)
it's always ourselves we find in the sea
From: maggie, molly, millie, and may~
e e cummings
That night I slept in the arms of the biggest man on Earth. Big Jim didn't
try to interest me in sex. I was devastated leaving Master Earl. He
didn't tell me to shape up, get a hold of myself,---he let me get it out.
They both might someday be considered for canonization because of their
patience with me. I was like a school girl on her first day at boarding
school. I cried in his big arms and apologized.
"Nothing to apologize for, Son. If you weren't a little broken up leaving
your Master then I'd be suspicious. You really love him, don't you?"
"Yes, Master Jim, I do."
"Well, hell, Kid. This will all be over before you know it. You'll go to
sleep one night and whisper in my ear. 'You were right, Master Jim, it's
all over and I'm going home with my Master tomorrow.'"
The big man had a way about him. He could simplify the biggest of
problems. I rolled over and kissed him.
"Thanks, Master Ox, I love you, too. You make the clouds roll away and let
the sunshine through."
"It's easy, Little One, when I have the sunshine laying next to me."
I melted and he kissed me with a message of welcome back that made my ears
smoke. I was home with my giant. No harm could come to me. Still, he
didn't try to take me. I had my head on his stomach and Babe kept winking
at me as if he were trying to talk to me.
"Come on, Kid, just a little taste. It's been a while and you know how
good I taste. Go ahead, he won't care. I'll tell him to cool it. That's
it, Kid, just a little further with that tongue and you'll be right in my
piss slit. AAAAhhh, yes! Now just the head. You don't have to take it
all. Just let me lay there for a while and relax.
Let me rest in your hot little mouth for a few minutes. Come on, Kid! You
know how good I taste. That's it ...aaahh yeeeessss. Feels fine, Son.
Suck on me just a...aaahhh, Yeesssss I told you. Didn't I tell you?
Uh-hum! I do taste good, don't I? See how you are? Forget all about me
for that big hot Cop dick. ummmm, See how good I am to you, I'm giving you
a lot of extra juice. Lap that shit up, Kid! Um-hum.
Yeah, you like the taste of that big man's fluids. Want some more,
slave-boy? Can't get enough of him can you? Suck that good juice and let
it slide down that tight little throat of yours... Go on! Suck it down,
make you grow up big and strong, like daddy. Um-hum.
We'll get that little throat all lubed up. The old man hasn't had anyone
suck on me since you left. Yeah, I knew you'd like to taste me again.
Them juices are pretty goddamn tasty ain't they, Lad? Now, you don't have
to take no more of me. I'll live up to my end of the...aaaahhhhh, shiiiiit,
yeeessss! Oh fuck!!!
God, the old man's gonna' love that. I know I do! See how much better I
taste when you get my head down your throat like that. I see that little
throat hasn't had a good workout in a while. We better take care of that
right now, Boy. Holy shit, Son!
You take two or three more hits like that on me, that old man I'm attached
to ain't gonna' be able to hold back and I'm gonna' have to spit down your
throat. You'd better hold back, Kid! I ain't just a' whistling Dixie here,
Son! That old man's building a head of steam that's gonna' blow your head
clean off.
Oh, Sweet Jesus that feels good, Son, you taking me all the way down your
throat. Can you feel me expanding that tight little throat of yours?
Um-hum. Gettin' it loose so you can work that big thing. Um-hum.
I know that old man up there is about to lose it so you better back off
quick if you want to catch me in your mouth, Son. You know how crazy you
are about tasting my spit. Here it comes, Sweet baby, you've earned it.
Better open that little skull-pussy a bit wider slave. You're getting a two
week's worth of a giant, king-size load."
Babe spit in my mouth a bodacious load, once, twice, and again until I had
a mouthful of giant blue ox come. Boy, was my jaw sore. I rested Babe in
my mouth and I swallowed a bit. Swallowed a bit more, until I had all that
tart creamy goodness sliding down my throat.
Then I used Babe like a plumber's helper to push the rest of it down my
throat hard. Thought the old man was going into orbit since Babe was so
sensitive after coming. He laughed and grabbed me by the head and pulled
me up to him. I didn't have to ask the old man that owned Babe if he liked
what I did. He had a silly smile on his face as he pulled me up to kiss
him goodnight.
"That was sweet, slave-boy. Your old man appreciated it. Babe said to tell
you he did, too."
We were up early the next morning, showered together and we're laughing
like two kids as we came into the kitchen for coffee. Big Jim brought out
the kid in me and my kid was only too ready to play with his kid. Except
today was going to be a work day.
"Glad to see you're in better spirits, Son."
"Thank you both for being understanding last night. I was a mess and want
to apologize."
"Not necessary, Son. Hell, I'd probably feel the same way if I'd just left
Officer Shaw." he laughed. "He is a bit of a heart throb no matter who
looks at him."
"I'll second that." chimed in Big Jim. "Damn fine looking man. Especially
now that he's in love."
That morning turned out to be a whirlwind of activity. I read and signed
the contract Master Jeb handed me. It basically gave him ownership of my
person until sold. Since I all ready had notarized health care papers with
him as final say it saved him some time and explanation.
We squared away my bank papers and I took him to my bank to be signed on as
co-signer only. He would not be able to withdraw any funds but his
signature must be present for me to withdraw. I added in case of his
demise that this arrangement was null and void and returned to the original
state. He agreed. Total on account after transfer of my checking account
and money held back for personal needs my savings account ballooned to
forty eight thousand dollars and change. Master Jeb shook his head as we
left the bank.
"You never cease to amaze me, Son."
"Why, Master?"
"You just deposited the most money of any slave I've ever accepted for
training. Not only the largest amount but triple what anyone else ever
placed into savings." He laughed and patted me on the back. He hadn't
considered the stock options I had from work in the trunk at the house.
That was another ten thousand dollars. I mentioned it to him and he almost
turned blue.
"They're in your trunk?"
"Yes, Sir, ten thousand dollars worth."
"Ten thousand dollars worth of stock options IN YOUR TRUNK?!"
"Yes, Master, is that bad? What?"
"If the house burns down what happens to your stock options, Son?"
"Oh, I hadn't thought of that." I spoke softly and shamefully.
"Holy macaroni, Son. Let's get them out tonight. With that large a deposit
the bank will give you a free safety deposit box with two keys. One for me
and one for you. When you're sold I have no problem turning my key over to
Earl D. but if it should not be Earl, God forbid, then I'll keep the key."
"Gees, maybe I should put the eight thousand in rare coins in there, too,
huh, Sir?"
"Sweet Mother, you have eight thousand worth of rare coins in that trunk,
too? he said incredulously. I smiled and sort of winced. I apologized for
my stupidity. Master Jeb just laughed and muttered under his breath.
"The fucking kid has ten thousand dollars worth of stock options and eight
thousand in rare coins in an old trunk in my attic. Son of a bitch! You
were right, God, to send him to us. He needs a good Master to hold his
hand."
He laughed like hell and put his big arm around me and hugged me
tight. "Wait'll Jim hears about this. I better make sure he's sitting
down." He laughed again. We were through by noon and headed back to Mt.
Washington. We were in his old truck.
"One more thing taken care of, Little Beaver. You excited about entering
training?"
"I would be if I knew more about what to expect." I said sort of
wistfully.
"Did you know what to expect when they sent you to Nam, Son?"
"God no, I never would have gone." I surprised myself with that answer. It
was the truth.
"Hopefully training will be a bit more pleasant than your experience in
Nam." he laughed.
"I didn't mean to compare them, Sir. For one thing I don't think two
people I love who love me are going to do anything to harm me." I said with
some enthusiasm.
"Exactly, Son. I'll stop using the term 'trust.' Let's try 'faith.' Have
faith in Big Jim and me."
We picked up 'In and Out' burgers for us on the way home and Big Jim was
waiting for us. We ate lunch and rested for about an hour. I took a quick
nap in the giant's arms and he woke me.
"Time to start training. This part of your time belongs to me." He removed
my plug and told me to put on a strap, gym shorts and loose fitting top we
were going to the gym. I climbed on the back of his Harley and we were
off. He wore only his big 'Farmer John' overalls with no shirt underneath
and his big boots.
He looked hot. I was interested to see what looks we got at the gym. He
took me to a small gym on Hyperion in the Silverlake district. It was early
afternoon and there were only a hand full of people there. Obviously Big
Jim had made previous arrangements with the owner/manager for me to come
with him to the gym. He knew my name and asked me to sign a card and
insurance release. I did and he handed us two towels.
"We won't be showering here." Big Jim spoke to me softly. "Some of these
queens get rabid when they're in heat. You and I ain't here to tease the
girls. We're here to work out. We'll shower in the big shower in the
dungeon when we get home. Always take the towel. You may need it to wipe
your hands or head. They're good for placing on a bench if you don't know
how clean it is."
I'd worked out before but never kept it up. It became boring after awhile
and unless you had a regular partner to work out with it was dull city. I
had a feeling that this was going to be anything but a dull work out. I
use to have this little 'running buddy' that I'd go to the leather bars
with.
He was a little bottom and had a mind up in lights. His name was Mike
Miller. I'll never forget him. He was wonderful to go to the bars with.
He's keep me laughing all night. He said some of the most outrageous
things. A well built man would walk into the bar and Mike would take one
look at him a tell me, "He's a bottom." and just dismiss him. One night I
confronted him, "Mike everyone with a buffed body that walks thought the
door you immediately label as a bottom. You don't know that."
"Are you kidding? You've got to be a masochist to go to a gym long enough
to get your body to look like that." I had no rebuttal.
"Okay, Little Beaver. This is our plan. Monday, Wednesdays and Fridays we
work upper body. Tuesdays and Thursdays we work the lower. Sometime Friday
we make the big push to get both in because we won't be coming on the
weekends.
Too crowded with the flex and chatter crowd. Takes hours to get through
your routine. Once you start your routine it should be completed at a
steady pace with not too much rest in between for best cardiovascular
stimulation. Besides, your life right now is on a schedule whether you know
it or not. I have to have you back by a certain time because Jeb and I
have further things to get done before you drop around eight tonight."
This sounded very much like boot camp and I told him so. He laughed his
big bear laugh and added, "Yeah, but it'll be a hell of a lot more fun and
you get to be fucked by the DI and the officer in charge. Did you get that
in boot camp?"
"Yes, Sir." I said innocently. I thought Big Jim was gonna' bust a gut
laughing. He shook all over.
"I just had to ask! Damn, Kid, you'll be the death of this giant yet. If
that came from anyone else I'd dismiss it in a minute. Now you got me
wondering and I don't even want to know the truth. It's too damn good as
is. Wait'll Jeb hears this one. Come on, Scamp, let's get to work."
Why is it people are lazy about building projects and yard cleanup but will
go to a gym and work their tits off to be better looking? Go figure. I'll
have to say it beats crawling under one of those big trucks and getting
dirty. After about an hour we were beginning to attract quite a bit of
attention. The queens couldn't take their eyes off Jim and I.
They would gather to quietly discuss their guesses as to our
'relationship.'
"Boy and Daddy?" I heard one ask the other.
"Master/slave?" questioned another.
"Could be a trainer and boy kept by rich sugar daddy." Allowed another
harpy.
"Yeah, that's probably it. The big one's sexy but he ain't real pretty."
"Gives the term 'mud fence' and 'homely' new dimensions." They all agreed.
I had to laugh at that one and it didn't go unnoticed by Big Jim who's ears
started turning bright red.
I almost dropped the bench press on me and he had to give me a two finger
assist. I winked at him and giggled. It didn't help. The big man was
justifiably chagrined. We finished after one more set, turned in our towels
and headed for his bike. He was muttering something to himself and was not
amused by the queen's comments. I got on the back of his Harley.
"Do you remember the story of 'Beauty and the Beast'?"
"Yeah, what of it?" he barked.
"Well, to me, you're the most beautiful beast in the world. If I ever woke
next to you and found you had changed into one of them I would slit my
throat." The big man bellowed with laughter.
"Damn, Little Beaver, you could make a midget feel like a giant. You just
made this old giant feel like a God. You're really gonna' get yourself
fucked long, hard, and deep tonight for that sentiment. Think those
'queens' in there can look forward to that?"
"All I can say is, I'll take your beast over them any night in the week,
Master." I yelled up to him as we took off.
"Master Jim?"
"Yes Son?"
"Could we stop by a department store on the way back. I want to get a pair
of 'Tuff Nuts.'"
"What?"
"A couple pair of Farmer John's like 'my Daaaadies'!" I mocked.
"Really?"
"Yes, Sir. They're loose fitting and look more comfortable than these damn
shorts. Besides, we can really crank those girl's chatter boxes. They
won't know what to think if we're dressed alike."
"Have you ever been told you have a delightfully wicked streak in you."
"No, Sir, but I've suspected it for a long time." He laughed again as he
pulled up in front of the Value Center on Sunset and Hyperion.
"This looks like a surplus store." I said.
"Yeah, it is, but they got 'em. Come on!" Big Jim was carrying my money
and I knew I had enough for a couple pair, maybe even three. They did
indeed have my favorite brand 'Tuff Nuts.'
"Take a tip from me," said Big Jim, "buy 'em a size larger than you wear
and you'll have all the room you and I may need."
"Why would you need...? Oh! I see...." As he took my hand and urged me
to run it down inside the front of his overalls. He had no underwear on
and I could play with Babe and his two bull balls hanging free. "'Course
we'll cut the pockets out of yours since you don't need to carry anything
anyway, I can hold you in front of me and it'll look like I have my hands
in your pockets. Deeeep in yo' pockets, Bro."
"Dirty old man!" I responded and he threw back his head in laughter. I
bought three pair. Two too large and one pair that was more a fit for
wearing when we weren't going to the gym.
Big Jim wore them a lot and I'd gotten to where I liked the looks of
them. They're damned comfortable. Gives a man breathin' room. Yeah! Big
Jim took them to the counter to pay. The bored looking Jewish lady chewing
gum looked over her half rim glasses at Big Jim.
"These for your son?" She asked in a nasal tone.
"Yes, Ma'am, wants to look like his dad." She looked over her glasses and
looked me up and down.
"I'd say he's got a couple more years growth left to be as big as his
dad. He better eat all his veg-e-ta-bles, then ask for seconds." she said
in a droll voice. She was serious. I thought I would bust a gut until we
got outside and both let loose with laughter. Needless to say I was an
impertinent slave boy calling Big Jim, Daddy Jim all afternoon. He didn't
mind. He was having a great time with his love.
During that first month of training we became more than lovers we became
brothers, buddies, mates, whatever you want to name it. We bonded as
friends and partners. A bond that can never be broken by separation of
place or time. I loved being with the big man.
Despite his size, he and I could be little boys together getting into all
kinds of secret, shared mischief. He could just glance at me and tell what
I was thinking. I could do the same with him. I could read his facial
expressions like a book.
Something would happen and we would look at each other and burst out
laughing because we knew what the other was thinking. He would finish
sentences I started. I would finish his. Communication between us took on
a whole new level.
Because of his size and intimidation factor few people really took the time
to know Big Jim. Underneath the mountain was one of the warmest, giving,
caring and thoughtful of hearts. He could also be ruthlessly strong and
demanding when he knew he was right.
If he gave me an order, as an order, I never questioned his seriousness. I
could have probably suffered his punishment but I never could have endured
his disappointment. Big hearts break easily. Remember that.
That afternoon we had some quiet time together in his room and I asked
about a picture on his dresser with him in cap and gown at a graduation. I
just assumed it was from high school.
"Where was this taken, Master Jim, and what occasion?" I asked.
"My graduation from Oxford." he replied nonchalantly. I almost giggled
thinking he was putting me on. He wasn't.
"What did you study at Oxford, Master?"
"Biophysics." What the hell was Biophysics? I had an MA and never heard of
Biophysics.
"Interesting." Was all I could say. I was stunned. He showed me his
diploma. PhD in Biophysics. Graduated with highest honors. 'Summa Cum
Laude' I squeaked out an MA. 'Thank ya' lawde!' Son of a bitch!
All this time I thought I was making love to a good hearted 'Bubba.' A
country bumpkin biker type. To find out the big man was better educated
than I rocked me on my ass. Why should it? Do we think of big people as
being smart? Not often.
We tend to think of them as bumbling, oafish, sometime good hearted, good
natured creatures. I needed a wake up call and this was it. I knelt at his
feet and took his hand and gently kissed it.
"What's this for, slave?" He looked at me questioningly.
"All this time I've been attracted to you for the wrong reasons. I've made
love to your boots because of your size and potential strength that's a
sexual turn on to me, never considering beneath all the trappings of
masculinity there was a man with a fine, well educated brain. I won't make
that mistake again, Master. When I make love to your boots it will be
because I'm overwhelmed by your complete person." He mused for a moment.
"I can handle that." He said, "I appreciate you epiphany but the 'turn on'
part is still there, Son. I'll always demand you pay homage to my
boots. That will always be a given between us."
"I wouldn't have it any other way, Master." As I went down to clean the
big fuckers one more time. He laughed and petted me on the head like a good
puppy. I was his good puppy. I would be satisfied to sleep at his big
feet for the rest of my life. Had I forgotten my other commitment? Not at
all. It was just a figure of speech but a true figure of speech.
"Let's shift gears here a minute, Son. Do you think every time you suck me
off or ride old Babe to the barn that I'm lying there thinking ,'Woah!
This is a real turn on to have a highly decorated Vietnam war hero riding
my cock for all he's worth'?"
"I hope not, Master. Okay, I see your point and you're right. So you've got
a fucking PhD in Biophysics, whatever the hell that is, you're still my big
blue ox and always will be."
"That's much better, slave, we can live with that."
"However, sometimes when you chase my blues away with Babe and I tell you
he's medicinal, you won't mind if I call you 'Doc. Ox'?" Master Jim rolled
on the bed laughing.
"Fuck, Beau, you come up with the damndest shit. Jeb and I laugh half our
day away telling each other the latest Beaverisms."
"Like Spoonerisms?"
"Yeah, Spoonerisms, Wellerisms, we call 'em Beaverisms. The drop dead
funny, sometimes innocent shit that comes out of your mouth. This training
thing is starting to be so much fun for us we joked about paying you. Just
joked, you understand." then he laughed again.
Later that evening Master Jeb took me down to the dungeon. In the slave
cells there was what might be called a common area. There was a couple of
small writing desks with banker's lights that shed plenty of light for
writing. He pulled out a lined ledger and sat it on the desk top.
"Each day you will write in this ledger about your thoughts, your dreams,
your past, people you know. For each new idea you must start a new page.
You may skip several pages if you think you want to come back to a topic
you started before and add more. That way, giving yourself room for
expansion. It will become your slave journal and will only be read by me
and sometime Jim.
You may write anything about him or me in your journal you wish. Good,
bad, or indifferent, you won't be judged by your opinions. In fact you
won't be judged at all. This is to empty things out of your mind that are
happening, may happen or did happen in the past. It might be a time to
consider leaving Vietnam behind.
You might want to think about going into this new life and not carrying the
baggage of Vietnam along with you. I want you to understand the purpose of
this. Do you have any idea why I might require you to do this?"
"I think so, Master, but please give me a push in the right direction." I
pleaded.
"Have you ever received any therapy or counseling?"
"No, Sir, we came back from Nam and that was that, Jack. No disrespect,
Master."
"I know what you meant. None taken. No wonder you guys are so messed up.
Jim told me you suggested to Blaine and Breed to get together and talk
about your experiences in Nam. Sounds like a great idea to me. In the
meantime, I'll explain since you've had no exposure to therapy.
This is a form of therapy. You can talk to your friends or a therapist
'til you're blue in the face and it may or may not influence you to change.
If you write it, come back and review it from time to time, continue to
write more, I guarantee you'll begin to notice big changes in yourself.
You'll set this wind up alarm clock and write in this journal for a minimum
of two hours a day. It doesn't have to be together. You can do an hour in
the morning before we get started or in the evening. You may do more than
two hours depending on your schedule for the day.
I would urge you to write as much in your journal as you can. Whenever you
have a free moment I want you down here writing. The more you put into
your slave training the more you're going to get out of it. Likewise, with
this journal.
If you don't have anything to do or one of us doesn't require your services
I want to know I can find you down here writing. Neatness counts! If I
can't read it then it's of little use. From time to time, I'll ask you
about the contents. I need it as a guide to your training. It's
important! The more you write in this journal the more I can help you
become the slave you want to be. You do want to become a slave, don't you?"
"Yes, of course, Master. No disrespect, Sir, but that's why I'm here."
"Then you must start thinking today why it is necessary for you to become a
slave and why you want to. Any and every reason you might think of. Write
it down. However, there is only one real answer to that question and you
must find it. It will not be given to you. You must find it for yourself.
It then must be written in your journal for me to read.
Then, and only then, will you be allowed to proceed, become a slave and
progress to the next level. Now, I have to get out announcements to all
family members and eligible Masters that we will have a new slave on the
market in approximately three months. Notice I said approximately. We'll
leave that up to you.
Now, the way it's suppose to work" he said with a chuckle, "those
interested in bidding on you may put up a two hundred dollar non-refundable
deposit and be allowed one weekend with you from Friday evening at six to
Sunday evening at nine. You will be expected to conduct yourself as their
temporary slave.
It's purpose, originally, was to give prospective Master's exposure to a
slave they might be interested in purchasing. As it stands right now I have
six firm two hundred dollar cash on hand deposits to bid on you. There are
only two more,--- possibly three available.
You may be surprised to know that one of them is the fine young Master you
referred to me, Master Redfeather. I foresee no problem with him being
accepted into the family as a fledgling Master. He will develop quickly
into a stable, good Master, I have no doubt.
You did right to suggest to your Master he refer him to me. There will be
an equal number that put up a one hundred dollar deposit to bid and they
may spend an evening with you but can't have sex. Why? Because it's my
rule." All these people putting up that kind of money for me? For one
weekend? It was overwhelming to me I had made that kind of impact on these
people that quickly. Then I considered they loved and respected Master Earl
D. Shaw and were doing it for him as well.
"Another area of your training will be one on one counseling. There's
one cell with two over stuffed chairs that has a black curtain between
them. We'll talk for a couple hours each day.
You'll do most of the talking about yourself and why you need or want to
become a slave. The curtain will be between us because I don't want you to
see my facial expressions. People as bright as you sometimes read people's
faces to tell if they're saying the right thing to get the correct
response.
I'll direct where the talk is going. If I lead you down another path then
I expect you to go with it. In thirty days, if all goes well, there will be
a ceremony in the auditorium and anyone in the family that receives my
announcement may attend. All Masters will be invited to participate in the
ceremony. Slaves may attend and observe but can't take part and must
remain quiet except where their Master's applaud or cheer.
It will be a ceremony where your past life will be taken from you and you
will be reborn to a new life as a slave. From there on you will be a
slave, having given up the rights of a free man. You will belong to me, as
specified in the contract, as my property to do with as I please. Your
weekend visitations will began at that time." He smiled knowingly.
"Now last, but not least, for the next four weekends you will have extended
periods of inner contemplation. You will prepare yourself buy cleaning out
first then submitting to a higher colonic cleaning from Jim or I. Probably
Jim, he's taking over some things for me I can't handle anymore. That's
why you're the last, Son.
You'll be placed in total bondage from six Friday evening to six Sunday
evening. There will be someone sitting with you the whole time; although,
you won't be aware. You'll be subjected to a variety of stimulus of our
choosing. It will break up your monotony. When you are not being
stimulated, you are to think of becoming a slave. Why you want to become a
slave and why it's necessary for you.
You will have a full leather hood on that's padded in the ears so all
outside sound will be suppressed. You won't be able to hear what's going on
around you but you'll hear things from time to time and we'll be able to
communicate with you. There are small speakers sewn into the hood at the
ears and a small connection wire comes out the base of the neck in the back
so we can hook you up to a small amplifier. We can speak to you through
the speakers and you'll hear various sounds and music from time to time.
You'll be fed a liquid diet approximately every six hours. I say,
approximately, because it may vary one to two hours either way. That way
you can't tell time or how long you've been in suspension. Your mouth will
be plugged and the hood has a heavy snap-on mask that will block out all
light. You will essentially be cut off from all distractions and be forced
to go inward and meet yourself. Somehow, I have the strangest feeling you
won't be alone in there" He smiled his knowing smile.
Obviously, Master Earl had told him about Wes entering me that one evening
and Master Earl's growing conviction that it was Wes inside me the night of
our first date. I knew I was convinced. Did I want Wes to visit during
these sessions or did I want to look at myself alone? I would figure that
out as I went along. I felt I could summon him any time I needed him. He
would be there for me as I was for him.
"This is another form of control, direction, or manipulation. It is also a
lesson in trust. You will be conditioned to trust those you've allowed to
place you in this position." Continued Master Jeb, "If you have any
questions about the techniques I will be using or why, I will gladly
discuss them with you. The work whether you know about them or not. I
have no secrets about how and what I will do for you.
If you're interested , I'll provide you with literature to further explain
this form of conversion therapy. Nothing I do will harm you but it will
redirect your life to become a total slave to another man. Once completed,
you will never again be happy with any other form of relationship.
This is not play, Son. This is for real. I want you to stop and consider
for a moment or as long as your need. These are proven mind altering
techniques we will be using and in essence, your brain will be
reprogrammed." Master Jeb was silent for a while waiting for me to
respond.
I didn't really realize that the training would actually contain mind
alterations but I knew how strongly they could work. I got to thinking
about the last five weeks and would I have done anything different? Not
really. I feel like I've been a slave all my life to people and causes that
brought me nothing but a sense of emptiness and despair. Making the total
leap of faith and becoming something to someone that could bring me even a
modicum of happiness would be better than the pain of the past.
This was why Master Earl wanted me to take slave training. He knew it
entailed much more than just summer camp. My Master knew what it meant to
him when he went through slave training to learn to become a Master. There
were minor differences in his program and what I would be going through.
After all, it was not Master Jeb's intention to make an unhappy slave of a
good potential Master. His approach to Earl was indeed one of
introspection but into why he needed to own and care for another human
being. After Jeb found Earl's need and his understanding to be devoted to
his need he encouraged and shaped Earl to become one of the finest Master's
in the family.
I thought about Yoshie and what he'd said about training and wanted to go
through it again. What was so wonderful or so bad about having your brain
altered? It happens to us every day. Television, radio, newspapers,
billboards and movies are all telling our brains some new thing to accept.
All I knew at that moment in time was I wanted to trust and have faith in
these two men. I did have faith in them and by God I would put my trust in
them.
"Master Jeb, I've thought about it a lot. I'll submit to this training
willingly but I want you to understand something. All my life I've been a
slave to some persons or cause that has only brought me heartache and pain.
I'm not faulting anyone as to why this occurred in my younger life. It
just happened! I accept it then. I allowed myself unwittingly to become
conditioned to thinking of myself as a slave and as I accepted it then, I
accept it now.
To put it simply, I all ready am a slave, my good Master. I've never had a
choice in the matter for many years now. I've lived this persona so long
it would take a team of therapist working 'round the clock for several
years to bend my mind otherwise. You can't make me into something that I
all ready am. How do you make a slave out of a slave? The idea, itself,
becomes an oxymoron.
As I see it, you will simply be redirecting me down the right path to find
some modicum happiness for myself. I'm all ready there. I have no other
choice. If, by redirecting, strengthening , and educating me with your
methods will bring me a small amount of happiness, the sooner we get
started the better."
The fine looking older man sat there silent for a long while. He made no
effort to look at me. It was as if he were processing the words I just
spoke to him and was trying to think of the best response. I became
concerned I was too bold and spoke out of line perhaps undermining his
reslove.
He picked lint off his pants, breathed deeply but continued to sit there.
Finally, he looked at me with tears in his eyes and spoke.
"As 'off the wall' funny as you can be sometime, Beau, you also have a
fundamental profundity that is at once reasoned and sound as it is
remarkably perceptive. You've just blown my whole exercise in why you must
become a slave. You just told me the correct answer. It's taken others
weeks or months to come up with that simple answer; they have to become a
slave because-they-know-they-are-one! It's elusive in it's simplicity.
You just blew the hell out of that exercise!" he chuckled fighting back
tears. However, I insist we proceed in the manner I've described and I
promise you, you will benefit from it. You no longer have any fears, do
you?"
"No, Master, I feel as if a huge stone has been lifted from my chest. Just
then, when I said the word 'Master,' in respect for you, it took on a whole
new, wonderfully, different meaning."
I fell to my knees in front of him and kissed each of his boots with great
love and deepest honor to be kneeling in front of this great and noble man.
He truly had become 'my Master'!
"Master," I whispered, "I'm yours. Take me, mold me, teach me thy ways."
I reached down to my leash that lay across his big boot, took it in my
mouth, raised up without meeting his gaze and held it ready for him to
accept. He held out his big gracious hand under my mouth and I let it
drop. He immediately and forcefully clamped his tightened fist around it
and said quietly but with the strength of a bull,
"You...are....mine, slave! It's time to give yourself totally to someone
who will set you on the path toward your future of serving another man with
a loving and good heart. I make my pledge to you, beautiful and worthy
slave, together we will make the journey to find your bliss." he paused
for a moment,
"You are my last pilgrim, my last sojourner, my last life to breathe
freedom into." He pulled me to him and hugged me tightly and kissed me on
the neck. He held me for a few minutes then spoke.
"There is no doubt in my mind, God arranged for you to be my last. He has,
indeed, saved the best for last. I don't know what I ever did to deserve
you but I ain't gonna' question the Big Kahuna. I'm just gonna' hope he
has one of those God awful, 'scuse me, Sir, Hawaiian shirts in my size." we
both laughed through our tears.
Master Jeb had nothing more for me so I sat down at the desk and began to
write until he called me to dinner. I found myself pouring my heart into
this journal. I would write and cry, write and cry, stop 'cause I was
getting the pages wet. I would count over twenty pages and begin a new
topic. Write and cry, write and cry.....on and on. I slowly began to see
the method in his madness. ( Figure of speech.) Master Jeb was far from
mad. He had both oars in the water and was the tillerman of his own boat.
As the days went by my respect and love for the man leap frogged over
itself in intensity. My awe, faith and trust in him increased
logarithmically by the day. I was falling deeply in love with the man just
as Oscar and Billy had predicted. I also knew Oscar's statement about
leaving him was one of the hardest things he ever had to do would become my
plight as well. The further we went the more I wanted to serve this man
forever. It's a natural occurrence to fall in love with your therapist. I
knew that in my reasoning brain but still couldn't convince my romantic
brain.
I even talked to Big Jim about it and he laughed an understanding laugh.
He leaned back to stretch and yawn.
"Sweetheart, every slave that has come though here has said those exact
words to me. Would it help to tell you, it's all right? It's all right,
Beau." he smiled and said softly with meaning.
"Would it help to tell you, it's normal?! It's normal, Beau." he spoke
again with care. "Would it help to tell you he's a wonderful old man that
you should love deeply? You already know the answer to that one."
It did help. As I said earlier the big man could take what seemed to me an
insurmountable problem and reduce it to a size I could deal with. That's a
talent. I didn't feel so much like a school boy with a crush on his gym
coach.
Master Jim said something earlier in the day about 'dropping' around eight
o'clock and I thought he was kidding. I was going to sleep at my writing
desk as Master Jeb called me to help with dinner. I tried to listen
intelligently to their conversations and found them becoming a comfortable
background drone for my nodding head. I would snap too if asked a question
then slowly drift back into the land of nod. They left me alone and
continued to talk.
I felt a giant paw pull me over to this warm rock I could rest my head on.
Funny, the rock could talk. I couldn't make out the words but they sounded
familiar, pleasant, furry, and comfortable. Translated from the original
rock I thought I heard the following:
"Our Tiger's had a full day." said the Big Rock.
"Indeed he has." said a soft wise voice.
"Do you love him as much as I do?" asked the Big Rock.
"More." said the wise voice softly. Suddenly I felt the Earth moved and
the Big Rock sprouted arms and legs. It lifted me up and sailed through
the sky away from everything. It laid me gently on the softest bed of
yellow California poppies. It removed my clothing, covered me, and then the
Big Rock did the strangest thing. It kissed me on the forehead and
whispered.
"Good night, my precious slave-boy, and...he doesn't love you more than
your ox."
Part II ~ The Acolyte
"Silence and memories, hopes and dreams are as liquid as the days, my
Master bought me and brought me into his home to be his slave. He didn't
seem to want my love, I worked and tried to served him well, but every
night, without his love, I cried myself to sleep, I lived in hell." Canto
8~Slave's Song~W. D. Dux~ Posthumous
We gathered the stock options and rare coins early the next morning. Master
Jeb told Big Jim of the trunk full of stock options in the attic and they
both went into orbit scolding me and then broke up laughing.
"Well, he's that way. I knew it from the beginning. Money is only
important to him for creature comforts. He'll never have much in the way
of possessions because he's like you Jim, they just aren't important to
him. He could care less. Those damn overalls he bought are more important
to him than a new sports car might be to some other man." evaluated Master
Jeb. He was right and I nodded in agreement.
Big Jim pulled me to him and ran his hands in my pockets. He all really cut
the bottoms out of the pockets, the old pervert. I thought it was
enormously funny that he would actually do it. I leaned against him as he
played with old swinger, got it roaring hard and then stuck it straight out
so my overalls looked like a circus tent.
"Look at this, Jeb." Big Jim motioned with his head for Master Jeb to look.
"Playing a little pocket pool, are you, boys?" He laughed. Jeb didn't
look good this morning.
"Jim, can you and Beaver work out early today then take him by the bank
with those options. He can get the box. He's a big boy. They offered him
a box with the deposit and he turned them down. They'll give it to him.
Just make sure it has three keys. Theirs, yours and mine. I need to go see
my doctor this morning. It's nothing serious. I need to have him adjust
one of my medications. I'll be fine. Not to worry."
The days began to pass quickly. Big Jim kept me regular as clock-work going
to the gym. The girls at the gym were all a twitter the first day Big Jim
and I walked in dressed the same. By the fourth day I asked Master Jim.
"Was it my imagination or was the gym a lot more active today with a lot
more bodies?"
"Wasn't your imagination, Son. Word gets around. People are curious. Most
of these queens have seen me come in here day in, day out for years and
never paid me much attention. I never speak to any of them. I ignore them
so they don't bother. Things are different now. I have a gorgeous young
man on my arm whom I obviously love very much, have control of, and who
loves me. They can sniff it like a pack of hounds after a wounded fox. Once
they get the scent, watch out." He laughed.
The best part of getting home was heading to the dungeon to the big steam
room shower that Master Jeb and Jim built. It was enormous and cleverly
made. They gathered old shower doors from any source. All along three
walls they mounted them above glass block in slotted aluminum
extrusions. It was framed and the glass block extended to the ceiling.
It was highly caulked and sealed so not even steam leaked into the main
area of the dungeon. There were plastic benches along the shower door
walls. You could turn on the hot water only on one shower jet and it would
produce so much steam you couldn't see each other three feet away.
Their hundred gallon water heater was turned up to the 'hell' setting.
There were warning signs in all baths and showers not to turn on the hot
water without the cold as well. At the far end, away from the entrance,
was a hot rocks gas heater. It would heat a pile of rocks you could pour
water over and produce lots of steam.
It was relaxing. Most of the time we just showered and got out due to the
schedule we were keeping. There was another two jet shower in the slave
quarters I used most of the time. It had a clean out hose attached to the
shower. Handy gadget!
Once in a while Big Jim would let me rub him down in the steam. He must
have designed the plastic benches because it was one of the few things,
other than his specially made bed, that he could lay the length of his body
on comfortably.
J'ever try to rub down a giant man? Take it from me there's a hell of a
lot to rub. It was worth it when he'd roll over, grab me and pull me on top
of him for a few minutes of love making. Making love on a bear rug. He
actually had so much hair on his belly I could part it down the middle, lay
Babe in the part, then comb the hair back over so you couldn't tell he had
a dick. You couldn't see it. It was one mass of reddish brown hair. My
very own sasquatch.
Friday night came and around three o'clock Master Jim told me to go to my
shower in the dungeon and clean myself as thoroughly. He would be down in
about half hour. Each shower had exhaust fans vented to the outside. I
was about through when I heard Master Jim lumbering down the stairs.
"Take your time. I'm just getting some stuff together." I got out of the
shower and found him moving things into the larger shower. He placed his
equipment on one of the plastic benches.
"Help me move that table into the shower, Son." I grabbed one end and he
the other. It was lighter than it looked. It was made of plastic as well.
It had a rubber padded top and looked like it bent in the middle. One end
had a 'U' shaped area I assumed for easy access to one's ass.
"I'm about ready for you, slave. Hop up here on the table and I'll be back
in a minute." I did as I was told and lay there with my legs dangling over
the edge. He returned with two'L' shaped plastic tubes and fitted them
into the ones at the end. He took each of my legs and they fit perfectly
into the cradles that were on top of the 'L's'. There were straps that fit
across and buckled at the ankle, below the knee and around the thigh. He
pulled one over my stomach and one around my chest and cinched them up
pretty snug.
"Do you want to sit up and watch or would you rather lay back. I recommend
about half way up to drain better."
Without waiting for a reply he moved to my head and lifted me about half
way up and placed a brace in the back for a stop. I felt like an astronaut
ready for blast off. Master Jim excused himself and was gone about twenty
minutes. When he returned all he had on was a huge pair of heavy duty,
black rubber hip boots and an almost ankle length heavy duty black rubber
apron. It had a strap around the neck and one that tied in the back. He
looked hot. Like something out of a 'Les' S & M drawing. I could see his
ass framed by the rubber apron when he turned to walk away and decided I
was glad to be sitting up. So was old swinger. He saw old swinger at
attention.
"Something turn you on, Son." He smiled wickedly.
"Oh, no, Sir." I lied. "I usually get an erection about this same time
every day." He laughed knowingly.
"Well your Master's gonna' fix you up here. This will be easy and simple if
you listen and do as I tell you." He all ready hooked up the plumbing and
I could see a large red rubber colonic tube at the end of a larger hose.
It was approximately three feet in length.
"You're gonna' put all that in me?"
"I'll explain it to you. We start by cleaning the lower colon. Stuff you
couldn't get out. Then, this will easily slip into you upper colon. This
is how much has to go in ." He held his thumb at a black stripe across the
end of the tube about three inches from the base. Shit! It may as well
been the whole thing. He adjusted the water temperature and let it run
while he pulled on a pair of heavy duty, black rubber gloves and lubricated
my hole with vaseline.
He grabbed the colonic tube and started inserting it into my ass. He
explained as he went. "Try to hold as much as you can and when you think
you can't hold it any more let me know. Now, if I tell you to hold it a
bit longer do it until I tell you to release. Got that?"
"Yes, Master." I was trying to hold as much as I could and started
cramping.
"That's it!" I told him.
"Hold it! Hold it!" He admonished me.
"Please, Master!"
"Hold it!" he shouted gruffly. I tried hard. Somehow, I managed to hold it.
"Master Jim, I can't hold it any longer."
"YES, YOU CAN, SLAVE! NOW, HOLD IT!!! Again, I somehow summoned the
strength to hold it. I don't know where I found the inner reserve but I
did.
"Now, you may release, slave." Water must have shot three feet across the
shower. He let me relax and drain. I wasn't too dirty as I cleaned out
pretty good. He was satisfied and told me to relax. He was going to
insert the tube. He walked to the bench and retrieved the largest black
butt plug I'd ever seen. It was considerably bigger than the one I
wore. He brought a tube of lubricant and lubed my ass.
"This is a deadening agent to put your ass muscle to sleep. He put it on
and massaged it in good with his big black rubber glove. Damn it was hot.
What was hotter was my ass was numb and I wanted all of that giant glove in
there. He took the plug screwed it in me a couple of times and popped the
big son of a bitch in.
"How's that feel, Son?"
"Big Sir, but not too uncomfortable."
"There's a hole in the plug just the size of the colon tube through which
I'll insert it." He'd turned the water off and began inserting the
tube. "Don't watch, Son, close your eyes. That's good, it's going in so
smoothly I'll have it in before you even realize it. See!"
I opened my eyes and looked. Damn he had that whole thing up me. I felt
something snaking through my gut but it didn't hurt. Then he gently turn
on the flow.
"Now, that's gonna' come rushing down and hit your asshole. Try as hard as
you can to hold it. The plug will take most of the impact. I'm gonna' fill
you up until I can shake your belly and hear it slosh." I squeezed my ass
tight and felt the water filling me up. It did hit my ass with a huge
force but the plug held and only leaked a bit. I was beginning to cramp
pretty badly and told him so.
"Just a little bit more, Son. There, that should do it. Now, just hold it
for a while Son." He placed one of the huge gloves on my extended belly and
began to kneed it and make it wiggle from side to side. I was getting near
panic point when he reached down and pulled the plug. What a relief. Water
and stuff went all over the shower floor. He hosed it and me down quickly.
"Now for the easy part. You lay back, relax and let your Master do the
driving."
He again inserted the hose but instructed me not to hold it. I didn't. He
was good to his word and once again had the hose all the way up in me but
this time the water coming out was clean. He was satisfied I was clean.
Master Jim took a metal device I saw Master Earl use. It was a speculum
that held the ass hole open. He opened it pretty wide to let me drain. He
said he'd be back in a minute and left me with my ass gaping open. It did
the job of draining me. It was all out in no time.
He returned in a few minutes and ask if I felt all the water was out. I
told him, I thought so. He removed the speculum. and allowed me to relax
as he continued to clean the shower. I kept watching him in that rubber
outfit as he hosed himself off and soaped down the front to clean then
rinsed.
I could see his big furry ass from behind and wanted to run my tongue as
far up there as I could and pray for a cracker jack prize. Old Swinger was
standing tall and proud. Big Jim didn't miss Swinger's salute and smiled
to himself. He didn't offer a comment.
"Master?" I asked quietly.
"Yes, slave?" He said as he turned to look at me. I looked him up and down
slowly.
"Oh, nothing." I said resolutely. He continued what he was doing.
"You want me to fuck you, slave?"
"I would be a grateful slave, Master. You're so hot in that rubber. I can't
imagine anything I'd rather have right now." I tried to sound as needy as
possible. Maybe a little too needy.
"Well, you can't exactly get away. You're all strapped down with no where
to go. I dare say you'd be prime for a wild animal to come along, slam his
dick in your hole and have his way with you. You couldn't do much about it
and wouldn't have much choice, would you, slave?"
"No, Sir, I can't get loose. I'm strapped in this clean out seat. I'd be
ripe for fucking if some wild beast were to come sniffing around me. You
wouldn't let an animal take advantage of me would you, Master?" I asked
coyly.
"In a New York minute, slave! I'd let him in the door and point you out to
him!"
Master Jim came to me slowly and raised his heavy apron to lay on my belly
as he leaned in close to me.
"I'm gonna' grease your ass a little because it's pretty raw from the acid
in your gut." He leaned closer and gently kissed me as he began to work a
small amount of water based lubricant into my hole. He was being so gentle
and felt wonderful. He was translating his passion and teasing my hole
into his kiss.
He stopped and positioned his huge, hard cock at my hole and pressed
slightly to hold it in place. I knew I was about to be taken hard. He
wiped his heavy black glove on a towel hanging from the table. He leaned
forward again to kiss me and kissed me more passionately and deeply.
While we were in the throes of this kiss he took me hard. Harder than he
ever took me. So hard the damn table jumped a foot. I groaned deep in my
throat to feel his goodness instantly fill me. To take me as the slave I
had become and the slave he knew I would be.
My Master didn't stop kissing me and wouldn't let me stop to thank him. He
kept his huge tongue rammed as far down my throat as he could and I used my
neck muscles to suck on it. I melted with both holes being filled at the
same time. He only had to lean just a bit and we were face to face.
Well, really more like his big tit to my mouth. I took advantage of it and
began to suck on those beautiful brown things. They hung out from his apron
right where the cut came from the neck. It was hot. He fucked me good and
as promised, long, hard and deep.
I knew he wasn't kidding about the wild animal raping me. I was really
getting in to sucking his tit and he loved it. He put his big hairy arm
around my head and pulled me into his tit to lock me onto it as he began to
fuck me harder. He didn't want me falling off his tit while he was getting
some of the best fucking of his slave's ass he'd ever had.
I moaned in lust as I sucked harder and faster on his big tit. I was so
hot I was ready for him to crawl up inside of me. He was making every
effort. If God could part the red sea for Moses I was praying he could do
the same for my ass so Big Jim could get more inside me. I pulled off his
tit for a second and spoke.
"Master....."
"Not until I do, slave. I've only now taken it away from you and I'm
gonna' enjoy this part. Oh, Yeah! I'm gonna' give you what every little
slave boy prays for, Son. His Master's fuck juice way up his little slave-
pussy. I'm fucking your slave-pussy, boy. Oh, God! That's the good stuff,
right there! That's it! I'm getting it! Give it to your Master, slave,
take me to the barn, Son. GIVE...IT....TO ...ME! AAAuuuggg! GET IT
SLAVE!!
Saliva began to go everywhere as I shot, feeling his come being pumped into
my clean gut. I was sucking so hard on his big tit something broke, gave
way, and my mouth received a small amount of man milk. He came, and came
again and I did too. He gave me some memorable fucks but that one was
special. Damn, he fucked me good!
"Thank you, Master! Thank you for that good fucking. You've fuck me many
times before but that one had to be of landmark proportions. Thank you,
Master. Thank you for the man milk, too."
"I like a grateful slave but your not through yet, Son. Use your little
ass and suck on my dick to get the rest. There, I can feel that...Yeah! A
little harder....Uh-huh! All right! Once again....Yeah! Again.....Oh
Yeah! Feel that? You're getting the rest of it! Good slave! Now!
That's your first meal for the bondage."
"Thank you, Master. I appreciate it. It was a good fucking. It's a meal
that would satisfy any hungry man." He kissed me again gently, looked me
in the eye, winked and asked.
"Got Milk?"
Part III ~ The Other Side of Tomorrow
I cannot tell the time of day, nor draw you maps of lands I've never seen.
For love with me is guessing wild, as someone throwing darts might pierce a
universe of mysteries
Where light is lost to time, and time to curves in space, not meant for us
to see, nor find a meaning for it all.
Canto 7~Slave's Song~ W. D. Dux Posthumous
Master Jim ordered me to get dressed. He instructed me put on my leather
pants with the removable ass patch and cod piece. He ordered me to lace up
my high top boots over my pants I was to include my leather shirt, and
gauntlet gloves. He explained, for my time in bondage, they wanted me to
feel comfortable in my own clothes.
I hurriedly dressed, tucking my leather pants down into my boots, lacing
them snug but not so tight to be uncomfortable. When I finished, I
returned from my cell to find him waiting for me. He changed too. He wore
his beautiful leather pants with cod piece and his high boots . The boots
worn over the pants and only his vest for a top I fell to my knees and
kissed his boots and found his hand waiting.
"Come, slave, show love to the Master who is about to guide you through
your inner journey of discovery." I stood into his arms, kissed him, laid
my head against his huge chest and held him.
"Afraid, Son?"
"Not with you as my helmsman, Master. I would lay my life in your charge."
"In a way, you will be." He said quietly. "Now, hop up here on the
Gurney."
I sat on the Gurney while he placed a hood over my head. He adjusted it
carefully so the eyes and nose fit perfectly where they were suppose to.
He let me adjust it to feel the most comfortable. There were receiving
snaps for an eye patch that would cut off any possibility of vision and
there were snaps where a mouth plug could be inserted.
Master Jim slowly, carefully, methodically, laced it tightly from the top
of my head, down the back of the neck and tied it in the rear. He placed a
wide four inch collar around my neck and locked it from behind. He had me
lay prone on the Gurney where he had spread out a leather harness.
I was ordered to place my hands by my sides. I closed my eyes as he began
pulling the straps over and around, fastening them into place. He checked
periodically, to see if something felt too tight, telling me he would be
loosening and tightening straps during my session.
I felt like a rump roast being prepared for cooking. He grabbed one side
of the harness with his two huge hands and in one swift jerk I was on my
back. He leaned over me and looked into my eyes.
"You okay, Son?" He asked.
"Yes Master." He leaned over and kissed me gently one last time. He
produced a mouth plug, held it for me to make the proper love to, then
plugged my mouth securing it behind my head. He held the eye patch and
with one last, concerned look, gave me a wink before he strapped it snugly
into place.
Master Jeb was right. I could hear nothing, I could see nothing and I
certainly could speak no evil. Not that I would want, too, you understand.
I was cut off from the world.
I began to think our worlds, as we perceive them, are predicated largely on
our senses. We live as we sense. I wondered if this was what it was like
for Helen Keller. Unlike her, I didn't even have my hands for tactile
sensing.
I wasn't afraid; however, I was a bit apprehensive about spending forty
eight hours unable to move. I could feel him moving me on the Gurney to
another area of the dungeon. He purposely spun me around several time to
disorient me, traveled to his destination, then began to raise the Gurney
in place.
I felt Master Jim lubricating my ass, then felt the point of my faithful
plug at my hole. I raised my ass to receive it and he deftly, expertly
docked it in it's home. It felt good, like an old friend dropped in to
help me through this ordeal.
I welcomed it by sucking on it and giving it a few good humps with my
ass. I felt the Dungeon Master hooking me up to chains but I couldn't hear
anything. It was totally quiet inside the hood. It allowed no ambient
sounds to be heard nor light to be seen.
When he finished he lowered the Gurney. I was hanging free in the chains;
they suspended me in mid-air. It was one hell of a weird feeling; not a bad
feeling, just strange. I could feel Master Jim adjusting straps here and
there. Tightening one, loosening another until he was satisfied that I
looked comfortable: or as comfortable as possible in bondage.
I felt him connect the wire to the hood speakers and in a moment I heard
soft distant music of an mystic eastern sound. Then I heard Big Jim voice
cut in; not loud but plainly audible.
"I'm going to place two cylinders in your hands. One in each. Don't do
anything until I tell you to." He placed them in my hands and told me to
press the button on the end of the right one.
"Now the other. The right one activates a green light and will be a 'Yes'
response. The other activates a red light that's a 'No' response. Light
them both and your ass falls off. A little humor there, Beaver. Light
them both and it means you're in distress; something's wrong, please help
me, understand?" Green light.
"You'll do fine, Son, I'm proud of you." He patted me on the butt then
snapped on my rear patch over my plug.
"You're adrift, my little Brother, on your journey of exploration. Several
people will be watching over you; one, maybe two or more. You won't know
who nor how many. We can sit here and have a rousing game of poker and you
won't hear a word. Journey inward and find yourself. Find the slave you
want to be and make peace with him. Journey to the future and try to see
yourself living and loving your Master as his possession. Imagine
redefining yourself as his total slave; serving him and putting him above
all others.
Let your soul place him above the time wasting ideas of material
possessions. You can never own anything again yet all creatures must have a
purpose for living. Your Master must become your purpose, your identity.
You will be his possession; his chattel; his property and his treasure.
It must become your new definition of yourself. Nothing else must matter;
however, don't become overwhelmed with the seeming enormity of concepts and
ideas. Take comfort to recall and remember you aren't alone. You're being
guarded on your journey by those who love you.
Your family will be monitoring you; people that love you, care for you and
above all, will protect you with their last breath. Go with your two
master's love in your heart. We'll see you on the other side of tomorrow."
It was exactly six o'clock. Master Jeb descended the stairs and walked
over to where Big Jim was sitting having a much deserved beer.
"You did a fine job, Jim. He looks good enough to eat, don't he?"
"He's an eyeball full when he gets his leathers on. I fucked him before I
put him into bondage and almost climbed on top of him again a minute ago.
He does something to my old dick I can't seem to control. Hell, I don't
think I want to control it, it's too damn good." Big Jim laughed as he
confessed.
"Doesn't help when he's on a first name basis with your dick." Jeb said.
Both men laughed.
"He's inventive, I'll give him that. What time is the desert folk due to
arrive?" The Dungeon Master asked.
"The two B's around nine or ten tonight and the two E's with Bert will
arrive tomorrow morning. We'll have a houseful until Sunday evening late.
Hell, I had to turn folks away. They all wanted to be here."
"You gonna' let 'em stay 'till we bring him out?"
"Your opinion, Dungeon Master?"
"Yeah, let 'em stay. Let him know they went out of their way to come and
care for him."
"I agree. To be honest, I was leaning that way myself. I think it's time
we changed that rule. It will give him reinforcement that his family cares
for him more than he knows."
"What about Earl D.?"
"I told him he could drop by for a while tomorrow and I invited him for
brunch on Sunday. I'm going to tell him I don't want him spending a great
deal of time down here. Our slave trainee has extraordinary sensing powers
and is sometimes helped by your late nephew."
"Yeah, he scares me sometime. That card reading trick the other afternoon
at the pool party was just short of miraculous."
"I agree," answered Master Jeb, then added, "but the spookiest thing was,
it wasn't a trick. I believe he saw those things. Look at his call on Jim
Redfeather becoming Sam's new employee and becoming a member of our family.
That was dead on. Aside from all that, he looks fine, Dungeon Master.
I'll come down and relive you in an hour or so."
"No need, Bro, I'm strong 'till Beryl and Blaine get here. I plan to sleep
down here on the leather futon."
"He'll be fine. I'll have enough help, get some rest, Brother. If
anything out of the ordinary occurs or I need help I'll buzz you
immediately."
"Jim, you and I have never been overly sentimental with each other. We
don't have to be. We've been though so much together we know how we feel
about each other; however, it recently occurred to me if I went suddenly
and never told you how much I've loved you all these years, I couldn't rest
in peace." He turned and walked slowly away.
"I've always loved you, Jeb, you know that." The old man nodded and
continued on to the stairs so his old friend wouldn't see the tears running
down his face.
I was adrift. They left me in complete silence for a long time. There
seemed to be a low white noise in the speakers that was not loud enough to
bother but was just loud enough to drown out any and all ambient sound.
All of sudden I began to hear a train whistle in the distance. At first I
thought I was imagining it. It sounded like it was far, far away.
It got louder and I could hear drops of rain on a tin roof of a cabin. I
suddenly found myself sitting on an old bed inside the cabin looking out
the window at the cold rain. The train whistle kept getting louder and I
finally could hear the sounds of the old steam engine locomotive.
It began to fade. Like it was going away into the distance. I wanted to
leave the cabin and run after it but it was raining. Coming down pretty
hard, too. I could hear lightning and thunder. Suddenly a huge flash of
lightning lit up the room and I could see bent wood cabin furniture. Wait
a minute. I couldn't have seen a flash of lightning. Could I? I was
drifting and I knew in a moment I was in Wes's secret place.
"Hello Sweetheart." I started crying."Don't do that. You scolded me the
other night to stop crying or I'd miss the fuck. Glad you did, too, what a
fucking that was! The old man's developed some new techniques and they're
hot! You know how lucky you are don't you, Bro?"
"Hell, yes, and thank you, my Love. Damn, you look hot! You never were a
body builder before."
"I'm not stupid, Bro. I knew to keep his interest I had to pay a price and
I did. Don't regret it for a second. So far they let me keep this form.
You wanna' fuck me? Oh, Beau, look!" He dropped his pants and I could see
his little man-cunt.
"You have to try it, Beau. Master loved it. Don't go gettin' no ideas
about asking him to do you this way. I did it because you know how damn
useless my dick was to me after the demon got through with it." Wes never
referred to his birth father as 'father' or 'dad' just 'the demon.' The
only father Wes admitted to was Walker Johnson.
"You know I'd fuck you anywhere, any time Bro, but, I just got fucked a
little while ago and well you know..."
"Yeah, I watched. My uncle is a fucking animal. He ain't real pretty but
damn,..can he throw a mean fuck or what? You're in love with him, too,
ain't cha,' Sweet baby?"
"You know I am, Wes. It eats me up sometimes. Not because I want him but
I would genuinely like to see him have his own slave to care for him."
"You'll be enough, on the side, for him. You'll get plenty of loving from
him as well as our Master. I know him and his big heart. He'll never stop
loving you long enough to love another slave."
"Can I summon you later in this journey for that fuck, Sweetheart?"
"Sure,---time means nothing to me anyway. All you have to do is come into
this room and think about me and I'll be right here. If I'm busy it may
take a minute but don't give up. I'll be here. Besides, you know me, Bro.
I'd never pass up one of your fucks.
Master Earl was great but he never fucked me with the love you did, Beau.
Master loved me but showing it through fucking was not his forte.' I'll
leave you alone, Hon, enjoy your journey. Relax and enjoy it. You're
always gonna' want to come back here, wait and see. Oh, by the way, how'd
you like Redfeather?"
"He's fucking gorgeous! Well you know. Were you around the night...?"
"He threw those two mean ass fucks into your ass? Yeah, I thought he might
let me enter him but he was frightened. He won't be the next time. I
always wondered what it would feel like to have the equipment to fuck you,
Beau. He'll let me, I know. Would you mind?"
"I can't think of anything hotter, Darlin.' You knew he patched me up in
Nam.?"
"Yeah, we know all that stuff over here. I made sure you two got together.
He needs you and you need him. Gotta' run, now, Dearheart. Call me and
I'll come to you."
"Wait, Wes, the demon, is he...?" A stoic smile crossed his face, he slowly
shook his head and he was gone. I left Wes's secret room and was back in
my own body again. I was warm, comfortable and controlled. I could do
this, no sweat. I relaxed and listened to the mystic Indian music I could
barely hear in the head phones.
That finally faded and the nascent sounds of some other soft music began in
the head phones. It was a floating ethereal tinkling kind of music with no
particular melody. Chimes, a drum, a tam-tam, cymbals touched softly, and
bells, lots of bells.
I felt someone unbuckling the straps around my legs and hips. My legs were
spread apart and move forward under my stomach and chained to my sides so
my ass was in a prime position for easy penetration. I felt a large hand
surround my plug and pop it out. A towel blotted my ass gently.
I remained in the position for a short period of time. I felt the large
head of something at my hole and felt a large, well greased dildo head
working into my ass. I managed to raise my ass to receive it and felt a
gentle hand touch my back to tell me to relax. I did and just went with
the person inserting it.
They were gentle but forceful and I knew they were not going to stop until
it was all the way inside me. Finally, I couldn't feel it going in anymore
but felt a belt being strapped under the dildo and it was cinched up tight.
My hole was filled. It felt like someone had strapped me underneath a
stallion, getting ready to ride him and me in tandem around the ranch to
receive his seed.
They left it in me for a long time and my whole body began to accept it as
a protection around a sacred icon that had been secretly placed in my body
for safe keeping. When it was removed I felt empty. There was hollow
feeling in my gut. I felt my plug, my friend, being replace. It felt
comfortable. I heard the voice of Big Jim gently come over the ear phones.
"Your mouth plug is going to be removed. I'll place a plastic tube in your
mouth to feed you some warm soup broth. Take it slowly and I'll hold the
tube while you swallow. Take your time and take as much as you feel like
then press the left button when you've had enough. If you need more press
the right button, understand?" Green light.
I felt him undo my mouth plug and slip the tube into my mouth. I sucked
and wonderful, warm flavors filled my mouth as the soup flooded my mouth.
Best damn soup broth I'd ever tasted. It had to be homemade. Wasn't from
a can, I can tell you that. I must have sucked up a cup. I wanted more ,
it was so damn good.
It was replaced with another and I finished that. I was feeling kind of
warm and fuzzy and thought I probably didn't need a lot. I signaled to
stop. My mouth plug was returned and I hung in silence for a long period
of time. My legs were stretched out and believe it or not I drifted off to
sleep.
Part IV ~ Signs and Sea Serpents
All who watched at the midnight hour, from hall or terrace, or lofty tower,
cried as they traced the meteor bright, moving along through the dreary
night.
"This is the hour, when forth he goes, the Dong with the luminous nose.
yonder -- over the plains he goes; despite his woes still on he goes,
The Dong with the luminous nose!" Edward Lear~
Master Jeb met Big Beryl and Blaine at the door. They brought two enormous
pizzas with them. Neat trick on the back of two Harley's. However, they
managed and everything seemed in order.
"How's our boy?" asked Big Beryl.
"He's doing fine. Jim's doing a great job as Dungeon Master and had him
adrift at six sharp. It's about time for his late evening fuck'n. We
thought we'd give you the honor if you think you're up to it old man." Jeb
punched Beryl in the side.
"What? Are you kidding? You know what that kid does something to me. My
old dick's drooling just thinking about fuck'n his little butt; however,
right now, me and old dick's hungry. Let's have some pizza and bewskis
before I plough his lower forty. Blaine, Honey, go down and relieve Jim
so's he can come up here and have some za and ski. We'll save you some,
Son."
"Sure, Dad, be glad, too." Blaine was away and down the stairs to the
dungeon. Quietly, he went through the ritual greeting with the Dungeon
Master and spoke in quiet tones.
"You taking good care of my little Brother, Master Jim?"
"Sure as hell trying too, Son."
"He's not gonna' have a bit of problem with this. I wish dad would put me
in bondage more'n he does. It always makes me feel better about everything
for weeks after. Dad's a damn good Dungeon Master. Well, you know, you've
helped him with me in bondage before.
Don't think I don't remember some of the good shit the two of you arranged
for me. Especially, that ass beating you gave me that one time and then
the gentle ass fucking you gave me after that. Woah! Still makes my ole
pussy drip.
Forgive me, Master Jim, I got carried away and almost forgot. I'm here to
relieve you so's you can go upstairs and have some pizza and brew with dad
and Master Jeb. Go on, I'll watch him and call at the first sign of
distress." Big Jim pulled Blaine to him and kissed him gently.
"Don't think for a minute I've ever forgotten fucking you either. That was
one sweet fuck you gave me that night, slave. You did your old man proud.
Feel!" He took Blaine's hand and put it on his cod piece. Blaine gently
felt a rock hard cock beneath the leather.
"Well, if you need any later tonight Master Jim, front door or back, I'll
give you my best."
"I'll talk to your dad, Son."
"You may if you wish but he told me before we left if you needed me not to
bother asking just let you have it."
"Thanks, Sweetheart, you just may get a little of the giant this evening.
You're old man's gonna' get to give our boy here his evening fuck. Wonder
if the kid will know?"
"Master Jim, that's Beau you're talking about."
"Yeah, you're right, he'll know."
Big Jim gave a high five to Blaine and was off up the stairs to find Big
Beryl and Jeb at the kitchen table waiting for him. He gave Beryl a big
hug.
"Dad?" Big Jim said to Big Beryl as he reached for a big slice of pizza.
"Yes, Son?" Beryl answered.
"While you give our boy down there a good, long, slow, deep donging would
it be all right if I tore me off a piece of boy-pussy?"
"I told that little shit to give you anything you needed tonight." Beryl
said strongly.
"He did, Dad, he did! I just wanted to be polite and ask. I've never had a
lot of sex with Blaine because,...well, you know the way I am. But,
tonight this Dungeon Master thing's got my juices flowing. I'm gonna' need
some relief to lay there and watch you fuck our boy. I couldn't imagine
anything sweeter than Blaine's pussy."
"Sure, Son, take all you need. He's been itching to have you again ever
since you hit him in the ass out to our place last time. Matter of fact,
he can't wait to try the four way thing again. Hasn't talked about
anything else since that night. You gotta' admit that was pretty damn
hot."
Big Jim smiled to himself as Big Beryl explained the details to Jeb. Jeb
was laughing so hard he almost choked on his pizza. Big Jim and Beryl
finished and excused themselves to go to the dungeon. Jeb gave them
instructions to send that hungry slave up and he would sit with him while
he ate.
In a few minutes Blaine came up the stairs and across the kitchen and knelt
in front of Jeb and kissed each of his boots. Master Jeb held his hand
down for Blaine. The good looking slave kissed it and held it to his
forehead.
"Forgive me, Master Jeb, for forgetting my manners a while ago. You know I
love you and wouldn't do anything to slight you."
"If I remember correctly, good slave, your Master was barking orders to
you, hustled your ass off to the dungeon to relieve the Dungeon Master and
didn't give you a chance to remember your manners.
You're a fine slave and know you should always follow your Master's orders
without hesitation. Another Master will understand your situation. And,
you know I love you, too, Son. Get your ass up here and show me some
love." Blaine practically crawled into Master Jeb's big arms and kissed
him.
"Hungry Son?" Master Jeb asked Blaine
"Yes, Sir."
Jeb handed him a paper plate and told him to help himself as he went to the
fridge to get Blaine a beer.
"Thank you, Sir." "You're welcome, Son. You never went through a formal
slave training program did you, Son?"
"No, Sir. I can see the way the other slaves you've trained adjust to
slave life it would have been a hell of a lot easier for me if had gone
through your training. Dad never said anything and I didn't know about it
until I met you several years ago. I guess Dad thought it was to late.
Besides, he cured me of chasing cunt by that time."
"The rest was just acceptance, I guess. Except, I know in my heart, I
accepted that old man as my Master the first night he took me all those
years ago. I'd never had a man's dick up my butt and I was scared to death
he was gonna' split me in two or wreck my insides. I remembered Beau
fucking Wes in that cave in Nam and I wanted that kind of intensity in my
life. I got it. Boy, did I get it!
Sometimes a little too intense. Especially when I found myself tied to that
operating table in Tijuana. Fuck, Master Jeb! It was my own damn fault.
That old man never lied to me. I signed his unconditional contract. Had
the damn thing read to me and gone over with me by Booger Red, Walker
Johnson and the cowboy. By signing his contract I gave the man my
permission to do that to me. I didn't care, I wanted to be his slave that
bad.
He told me exactly what he was gonna' do if I didn't stop chasing cunt.
He warned me over and over. He had old Red talk to me. He had Cowboy talk
to me. He had Cowboy's dad talk to me. Even Walker tried to get through
to me.
I'd given myself to him that night to be his slave. What could I have been
thinking? I knew he was a man of his word. I hate to admit it but I'm damn
glad he is. He loved me enough to make me his. He forced me to keep my
commitment and I'm glad he did. Now, that's all I want to be is his good
and faithful slave."
"Do you ever regret the operation, Son?" Master Jeb asked gently.
"You haven't had me since the operation, have you, Master Jeb?" Blaine
asked smiling.
"No, Son, I haven't. Never has been the right time. Can't say's I haven't
thought about it or didn't want to." He chuckled. "Fuck! With your
permission, Sir, I'll talk to dad and we can get that taken care of pretty
damn quick. I would love for you to take my cunt for a ride and not just
around the block either." Blaine winked at Jeb.
"I'd enjoy that, Son. You have my permission to asked your old man. We
both know what he'll say but it's good manners."
"Hot, damn, Master Jeb! Once you've tried my pussy and we're laying there
together I want you to ask me that question again about whether I regret
the operation or not." Blaine laughed a wicked laugh. Jeb gently boxed
his ear.
"You know, slave, I think you've done fine without my training and that's a
complement I wouldn't give many slaves."
"Thanks, Master Jeb, coming from you, that means a lot. I thought many
times about asking dad to let me go through your training. To be honest, I
don't think he could have done without me that long. We haven't spent a
night apart since that first night I moved into his tent. Even when I was
in that hospital in Tijuana all those times, he was right there. Night and
day he was there. He slept in a chair along side my bed."
"Son, I'm here to tell you that as many years as I've known your old man, I
can verify for you that he couldn't do with out you for one night. You're
his life. He loves you with the height and breadth his soul can reach. If
anything should happen to you, God forbid, he would cease to exist.
I watched what happened to him when Jimmy was killed and he took the blame
on himself. It was an fucking accident! Everyone knew it. I saw it
happen. There was nothing he could have done. He grieved all those years
until the day you walked by. I'll tell you this. It was the luckiest day
of your life."
"You don't know how many times I've told myself that, Master Jeb. I'd be
dead now if it weren't for that old man."
Blaine finished his pizza and beer then asked if he might have another
beer. Jeb handed him the beer and pulled him close. He held him for a
moment and kissed him on the neck. He let Blaine go and patted him on the
ass as he pointed him toward the dungeon stairs. "Thanks, Master Jeb."
Blaine said over his shoulder then stopped and turned at the door. "For
everything."
"You're more'n welcome, Son!" Jeb said quietly.
* * * * * * * * * *
I was sound asleep when I felt someone playing with my plug. No, they
weren't playing with it. They just popped it out. Damn, it felt good. I
suddenly heard soft music. Don't know who did the programing in this
dungeon but they had damn good taste. I recognized the piece immediately.
Ravel's 'Daphnis and Cloe.'
An hour and a half of musical orgasms. I felt myself drifting back to
sleep during the slow quite opening section. My sleep was terminated in an
instant when I felt a whip hit my leathered ass. It was not meant to be
sensual either. It was an awaking stroke. It certainly got my attention.
It was followed by about nine more and I had a hell of a time not coming
for the last three. My ass what hot from the heat generated by the
whip. My legs were lowered and brought up under me and to my sides. My
hole was once again exposed for any purpose.
I felt a real cock at my hole and knew I was about to be fucked. I felt two
big hands on my shoulder and the person pulled himself into me with one
swift stroke. Surely my cup runneth over. My tank was certainly filled to
capacity. It wasn't Master Jim, I knew how his fit. This man was
considerably larger.
No, It couldn't be. Could it? No, I don't believe it. Whoever it was left
it in until my ass stopped arguing and then took a couple of small strokes
to help me relax. That's all I needed to make positive identification of my
mystery Fucker. It was my desert dad. No question in my mind. The whip
and now the fuck. I should have guessed from the whip.
How wonderful he and Blaine had come to be with me. My heart suddenly
swelled bigger than my ass was filled. I was going to give that old man a
good fuck if I could. I had just enough movement with the lower half of my
body that I could control the position of my ass.
He started fucking me deep and slow to get me stretched so he could do some
harder riding a little later. I made sure my ass was right there for every
stroke. The music was getting more frantic. Long, long phrases that built
and built only to die down and start to build again.
He couldn't hear what I was hearing or could he? It began to feel like he
was fucking me to the music. How could he fuck me to the music? He would
stop completely when the music died down and slowly build in his intensity
as the music swelled.
Damn, the old man didn't have that much sophistication to,...wait a minute?
You never would've believed Big Jim had a fucking Doctorate Degree from
Oxford either. What's wrong with you, Beau? Of course the old man could be
sophisticated enough. I had no way of knowing but he had a set of
earphones and was doing exactly that.
Now I was the one that felt stupid and unsophisticated. Me with all my
superficial knowledge of fine arts, had never considered the possibility of
being fucked to music; however, it was a new and terribly sensual
experience I was beginning to love. I knew the piece well. (Of music, that
is)
I even conducted portions in student orchestral rehearsals. The old man
fucking me obviously knew the score by heart, certainly better'n I did. He
knew when and where each nuance of the music would be best served with
which stroke.
I was not only being fucked by a sensitive old man but by Maurice Ravel as
well who was never known to have a sexual experience in his life. I was
beginning to wonder if there was life after 'Daphnis and Cloe?'
Dad Beryl must have continued his fucking ballet for almost the entire
score. He rested for a minute or two and knew the chorus signaled the
final 'dance of death' and set in to do his own very special, sensual
interpretation. Only his nuance was the 'fuck of death' which lost
absolutely nothing in the translation!
He knew what the hell he was doing and was damn well going to climax this
performance with one hell of a finish and I was going to share in that
climax 'un petit mort' in this unbelievable pas de deux.
He hit his climax with the ultimate, final surge and upswell of the music.
He squeezed me around my waist to tell me to go with him. This was our one
chance together as a team for greatness. A performace that only happens
once a lifetime and is whisper about by fucking mavens for years afterward.
Maybe they had a huge audience watching this fucking ballet? I certainly
hoped so. God, I hoped they sold out! I didn't know but I wasn't going to
disappoint him or the gathered audience.
That sweet old bumpkin of a man had taken a boy from the farm and elevated
his ass into the spotlights and made him a primo fuck. My cod piece was
removed by Master Jim at the beginning and I shot and shot all over the
place. I pushed back to meet his climaxing thrust. The music came to a
crashing end as my mentor, my partner, my fucking Master, my beloved desert
dad collapsed on top of me, still plunged to my depths, with both arms
around me holding me tight.
I could imagine the stage gone to black and the curtains dropped to
thunderous, no, no, tumultuous applause. The lights come up and my partner
is still in character laying dead with his enormous love muscle thrust to
my depths. More applause and then I could smell the flowers being thrown
onto the stage. Cries of, "Bravo!" "Bravissimo!" I imagined I could
hear. The performance was complete.
* * * * * * * * * *
Big Jim was kissing Blaine gently after having come in his man-cunt and
Blaine was thanking him for the good fucking when they looked up and saw
the green light flashing on and off quickly. Jim and Blaine looked at the
light.
"It's morse code." said Blaine, "It says, 'T-h-a-n-k-s D-a-d!" They must
have gotten my message 'cause I felt the old man shaking with laughter with
his dick still way up in me. He took it almost all the way out and then
very gently put it all the way back into me to say, "You're welcome, Son."
Damn, I loved that old man.
I lay there in bondage once again listening to sounds of the night.
Crickets, frogs, a passing carriage, all recorded sounds played though the
earphones. My ass was cleaned and my plug reinserted. I had two hot man
loads in my ass to help float me across the deepest seas of nothingness.
Master Jim's and Dad Beryl's. A repository for their sacred trust, their
seed. An anal feeding that would add more male hormones to my all ready
flooded system.
I couldn't help but become part of them. Their DNA was being absorbed into
my system. The product of their bodies were become a sustaining, however
small, portion of my being. I was once again adrift. My soul satisfied
from warm food in both my guts. I was loved and my soul was at peace.
I was drifting ever further in to the abyss of myself; no longer afraid of
what I might confront. I knew the terrors and horrors were still there. I
thought about Chief. I thought of him risking his life to save me when he
could have left me there for the final e-vacs. He didn't. I did the same
for many other corpsmen and so had he. We were brothers and I was glad of
Blaine's presence with his Master. In the excitement of the past week I
forgot to call and tell Blaine the news of finding Chief. He knew him
well. Much better than I did.
There seemed to be an electricity in the air. I could smell it. The power
in the dungeon was overwhelming. Those that have escaped sure death and
have lived to laugh about it and cried in each other's arms at the
closeness of their peril have an unspoken bond that the average mortal man
will never understand.
He can only sit and observe the wonder of the survival of the human spirit
being reborn to a new life that had come so close to breathing the dank
foul odored breath of the dark stranger. The biggest hurdle was not
accepting the gift of life but the guilt of survival. Try as you may, you
can never explain to someone why you might feel guilty for surviving. It
follows you the rest of your life. You may go to the ends of the Earth and
never find the answer but you will try, you will try.
I lay there and all at once the final duet and chorus of Benjamin Britten's
masterpiece against the horrors of war , the "War Requiem", came flooding
to my mind. I could see the full orchestral score as I recalled the music
in my mind. The final line of Wilfred Owen's poem 'Strange Meeting' is sung
as a duet, back and forth between baritone and tenor, "Let us sleep now!"
then the full chorus and orchestra with a boys chorus singing "In
Paradisium" from the requiem mass swells to the greatest piece of music
since the opening chorus of Bach's "St. Matthew's Passion!" The "War
Requiem" is built on the smallest grain of artistic genius, an augmented
fourth.
It seemed that out of the battle I escaped, Down some profound dull tunnel,
long since scooped, Through granites which titanic wars had groined. Yet
also there encumbered sleepers groaned, Too fast in thought or death to be
bestirred.
Then, as I probed them, one sprang up, and stared, With piteous recognition
in fixed eyes, Lifting distressful hands as if to bless. And by his smile,
I knew that sullen pall; By his dead smile I knew we stood in Hell, With a
thousand pains that vision's face was grained; Yet no blood reached there
from the upper ground, And no guns thumped, or down the flues made moan.
"Strange friend," I said, "here is no cause to mourn." "None," said the
other, "save the undone years, The hopelessness. Whatever hope is yours,
Was as my life also; I went hunting wild, After the wildest beauty in the
world, Which lies not calm in eyes, nor braided hair, But mocks the steady
running of the hour, And if it grieves, grieves richlier than here. For by
my glee might many men have laughed, And of my weeping something had been
left, Which must die now. I mean the truth untold, The pity of war, the
pity war distilled.
Now men will go content with what we spoiled, Or, discontent, boil bloody,
and be spilled. They will be swift with swiftness of the tigress, None
will break ranks, though nations trek from progress. Courage was mine, and
I had mystery, Wisdom was mine, and I had mastery; To miss the march of
this retreating world, Into vain citadels that are not walled.
Then when much blood had clogged their chariot wheels, I would go up and
wash them from sweet wells, >From sweet wells, we dug too deep for war,
Even with truths that lie too deep for taint. I would have poured my
spirit without stint, But not through wounds; not on the cess of war.
Foreheads of men have bled where no wounds were."
"I am the enemy you killed, my friend. I knew you in this dark; for so you
frowned Yesterday through me as you jabbed and killed. I parried; but my
hands were loath and cold. Let us sleep now...."
In Paradisium
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End Chapter 18 The Ties That Bind Copyright 2003 Waddie Greywolf Mail to:
<waddiebear@yahoo.com>