Date: Tue, 12 Feb 2002 11:05:34 +0100
From: "solark36@yahoo.co.uk" <solark36@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: London Romance 4

Disclaimer: This story is entirely fictional and not intended for minors or
those judged unable by law to read this material.  Any resemblance to
actual people is purely coincidental.

The author reserves all rights to this work.


LONDON ROMANCE


PART FOUR

WILL: LONELY AMONG FRIENDS

I woke up early in the morning because my friends wanted to pay me a visit
in the afternoon.  I went out to do shopping.  My little flat was already
small and to have six more people in would be claustophobic, but they
insisted on coming.  I bought some ready made pastry to be baked for tea.
I had already a nice cake and plenty of biscuits in the larder.  I also
bought some milk.

After all the foodstuff were stored away, I began to straighten up the
house.  Though Mrs. Lowry comes in to clean the house, I had to move the
furniture around to accomodate seven people in the house.  I pushed the
small dining table against the wall.  I looked at the living room set I had
and decided to move the single seaters and the sofa against the wall too.
They were going to be a tight squeeze.  I had to remove the television
first.  Thankfully, the television and my video player were on a trolley
with wheels.  I moved the whole thing into the bedroom.  Then, I set to
work on the living room set.  I managed to get them all in without removing
the two side tables.  Then I placed the coffee table in the centre and
removed the vases and pictures from the side tables.  There was enough
space to put the teapot and the cups and saucers for everyone.  I knew I
didn't need to be so formal, but if I was going to entertain friends for
tea, I'd better do it properly.  Lastly, I added the two chairs from the
dining set to complete the seven places.

I had to contend with a sandwich lunch.  I didn't want to disturb my
arrangement of the furniture and so wasn't able to have a steak lunch that
I usually had on Sundays.  After all the trouble that I'd gone through, I
hope my friends had a smashing afternoon for me.

After the light lunch, I proceeded to clean up the house a little.  There
wasn't much to clean as Mrs Lowry did a good job.  I tidied up stray
magazines and newspapers and placed them on the dining table that was
against the wall.  I spotted a pair of shorts draped in a corner and
quickly removed them.  When I had finished, I scanned the room with my eyes
and hoped that I didn't miss anything.

I quickly took out the frozen pastries and popped them into the oven.  I'd
have to do this in three batches because I only had a small oven.  Each
batch, according to the instructions would take twenty minutes, which meant
a little over an hour for the whole thing.  So, after I popped in the first
batch, I went to have a quick shower.  I came out in my bathrobe just in
time to see the first batch browning.  I had just a few minutes to wait
before removing them from the oven.  During the second batch, I shaved and
combed my hair.  I dressed during the third batch.

Just as I was finishing arranging the pastries on the serving plate, the
doorbell rang.  The first of my guests had arrived.  I answered the door
and welcomed my cousin Gabe and his wife Francine.  When Francine saw me
busy in the kitchen she insisted that she help me with the tea.  I thanked
her and showed her where the tea and kettle was.  I took out the largest
teapot I had and placed it on the kitchen counter.  Then I took out the
cups and saucers and placed them on two trays.  Gabe also offered to help,
but I told him to mind the door.  I arranged everything on the dining table
except the cups and saucers which I placed on the coffee table.

Martin and Michael came next.  If I had any friends, these two would be
them.  I'd hurt them terribly eight years ago and they'd forgiven me.  It
took them a while to come up to see me but their presence healed a lot of
hurt in me as well.  They've been encouraging me and coming to see me
often.  They each gave me a hug like they always do.  However, before they
could start talking to me, in came Donald and Sally Taylor.  Along with
them came their seven-year old son, Kenny.  I'd only seen Kenny a few times
when I went back home.  But he had grown.  Then I realised that I hadn't
set a place for him.  I greeted them in turn, trying to think of a chair I
could get Kenny at the same time.

"You seem pre-occupied, Will.  Is everything okay?" Sally asked.  She was
always the first to see and say.

"Oh!  I didn't know Kenny was coming.  So I was thinking of where I could
get another chair."

"I'll get one from the kitchen," Francine offered.  I thanked her.

When everyone was seated, with their tea and pastry, I asked, "Now.  What's
this all about?  You don't come down to London together for no reason at
all on a Sunday afternoon.  Something's up and I want to know.  After all,
I'm the host but I've no idea what I'm hosting!"

They all looked around.  I could sense something was up but no one seemed
to want to say anything.  Their eyes then focused on Gabe and he in turn
looked at me.  I was feeling a sense of dread as he opened his mouth.

"You see," he started.  "Franny is pregnant ..."  I looked at Francine, who
was beaming.  They had been married for four years and had been trying to
have a child but were unsuccessful so far.

I grinned at the blushing Francine.  "It's about time!"  I turned to Gabe
and gave him a hug, "Congratulations cuz.  When is it due?"

"The doctor said about six months.  We haven't done anything else except
confirm that Franny is pregnant."

"They'll be busy alright," Sally added.  "Well, I remember when Kenny was
conceived ..."

I saw Donald nudge Sally and when Sally turned to Donald, he had a
particular look that quieten Sally down.  Donald is the only person I know
who can keep Sally quiet.

"Well, when Gabe found out, he sent email to everyone from the company.
That's how Sally and I found out," Martin said.  "I called Gabe up at the
office and he said he wanted to tell you when he came down to see you this
weekend.  I thought that it was about time Mike and I came down, too.  And
when Sally got wind of it, she wanted to be in."

"Yes Will, we haven't met for over a month," Mike said.  "We should get
together more often."

I smiled at all of them, "Thanks y'all!  It's tough to have family and
friends in another city.  I'm glad that you think of me once in a while."

I got a friendly punch from Gabe.  "Will, you make me sound like an
absolute snob!  Perhaps I'd better rethink my fortnightly visits."

"That's not fair Will, you could also make the trip home to see Gabe,"
Sally said her two cents worth.  That made me feel a little guilty.  I
didn't want to go up because it made me slightly depressed to see all my
friends with a family or at least with someone of their own.

Donald seemed to know what I was thinking.  "Will, don't pay heed to my
talkative wife."  Sally started to blush.  "How are you doing?  You don't
seem to have changed much.  What's your secret?  My three children are so
stressful."

"I'm not that bad, am I, Dad?" Kenny asked.  He had been listening to the
conversation in interest and I could see he didn't like his father's last
statement.  This prompted everyone to laugh and Mike patted Kenny's back.

"You got yourself into that one Donny.  You're not getting any help from
me," Sally said with a grin.

"Kenny, how can I say this? ...  When a couple have a child, there are a
thousand and one things to think about.  You don't have to worry about
whether you'll have clothes to wear or food to eat.  You don't have to
worry where the money for your school uniforms and books are going to come
from.  Your mother and I have to worry about that.  You see how little
Michelle needs special food and all that?  Well, Daddy and Mummy have to
make sure that she'll have enough to eat.  Do you understand?"

"I think so.  But you'd better tell me slowly when we get home," Kenny said
seriously.  "I think you'd better explain to Marty, too."  His serious tone
brought about another bout of laughter.  This time Kenny grinned and seemed
to enjoy the attention that he was receiving.

The afternoon came and went.  Sally and Donald left first to collect the
rest of their children who were at their maternal grandparents.  Then
whilst Martin was engaging a conversation with Gabe and Francine, Mike
helped me to clear up.

"Will, Martin and I have a day off tomorrow.  We're staying over in London
and are hoping that we could take you out for dinner."

"Oh Mike!  Why do both of you go through all that trouble?  I'm alright by
myself."

"Will Duncan!" Mike started to sound serious.  "We're friends and we're not
here because we pity you.  Perhaps we feel sorry that you are alone in
London but we're not here just because of that.  We had a day off and we
decided to come down to London for a visit.  You may have hurt us in the
past, but we're friends now.  Since we were in the neighbourhood, we wanted
to invite you for dinner.  If you'd other plans we wouldn't object.  It was
just an invitation.  There's no obligation on your part."

Michael read me so well.  My first assumption was that they were doing this
out of pity but I realised then that they weren't.

"Sorry Mike.  I didn't mean to offend you."

"I'm also sorry for bursting out this way.  It's just that you've been
putting yourself down since we first reconciled three months ago.  Unlike
Sally and Donny, we don't have children.  So it's easier for us to go
anywhere.  We care, Will.  Martin has looked past what happened eight years
ago and we're moving forward.  We just hope that you are doing so, too.  We
also know that it's not easy to move forward alone.  That's why we want to
show you that we support you and care for you.  You're our friend and don't
you ever forget that."

I was getting misty-eyed by what Michael had said.  He must've noticed it
because he said, "Let's get out there.  I've gotten your mood down and out
there is where it is going to come up again."  He turned towards the door
and then suddenly stopped, "So we'll come over at six to pick you up.  I've
already made reservations for three."

I smiled and followed him out.  As soon as I got into the living room, Gabe
rose up to leave.

"Will, we need to go to Franny's mom's for dinner."

Martin and Michael helped me move the furniture back after Gabe and
Francine left.  They, too, left to confirm the reservation they'd made for
a Bed and Breakfast.  I'd see them when they come to pick me up.

-----

One of the things that Mike and Martin discovered during the dinner was
that I had isolated myself in London.  For the last eight years, I'd not
gone out with a single person from the city.  I've been out for dinner with
Gabe and Francine when they visited and out with friends whenever I went
home, but I've not made any friends outside the workplace in London.  They
had listened attentively to me when I made this revelation.  The two of
them had a way of listening and getting things out of me.  Never would I
have thought that I'd tell them my woes.

Eight years ago, I had been a civilian advisor on navy ships.  My job was
to liaise between the ship and the tour operators of different countries.
It was something like a one-man tour operator and a lot like public
relations.  It was a pilot project of sorts but it didn't work out.  When
they wanted to transfer me to the main-stream tours, I discovered my
infection in a medical checkup.  On the legal side, I could have won if I
fought to become a tour guide, but realistically, it wouldn't have been
good for me.  At the time, the first drugs for AIDS had just appeared and
things were pretty unsure.  Any sign of an illness was potential death and
I felt I needed to have a clinic or hospital I could go to without any
problem.  Touring outside the country was not going to give me that kind of
security.  I was grateful that the company did not sack me on account of my
infection.  Of course they could've and I'd fight them in court, but they
were understanding enough to even pay for my medical bills.  Now, things
are better and the drugs are helpful even though I tire easily.  My doctor
advised me to excercise a bit and I go for my daily jogs.  I am happy that
I'm still alive.

That virus living in me has forced me to change my outlook in life.
Before, it was "go with the flow", "whatever feels right", "let's enjoy!"
Now, I realise that life isn't invincible and I may die at any time.  It
may not even be AIDS!  I've become more careful with what I do.  My
incident with Martin has thought me to look out for the people that come
into contact with me.  I still can't get over the guilt that I may have
caused the deaths of so many people due to unprotected sex.  I don't want
to hurt any more people nor do I want to be the cause of their deaths.

What Michael and Martin have helped me with since that dinner was that I
had brought my fear of hurting other people to the extreme.  I had
purposely cut myself off from making new friends because I was so afraid of
hurting them.  Worse, I was also afraid of being rejected because I was HIV
positive.  Mike and Martin encouraged me, telling me that people who ran
away because of my condition weren't going to be good friends anyway.  I
understood, but I admit that the first step was not going to be easy.

My first friends made were actually already aquaintances of mine.  They
were the old couple that I usually met at Larry's.  It took me a few
meetings before I actually began to share something of my life with them.
Fortunately for me, they were understanding and good listeners.  I was
eventually able to tell them that I was gay and that I was HIV positive.
With regard to my office colleagues, I wasn't sure whether they were going
to take the news well, I decided that I would only tell them when I feel
ready.  On the other hand, I also became more friendly with the people I
see when I jog.  Now there are five of us in a group that jog together.  I
haven't told them I was gay nor that I was HIV positive.  I don't think
they need to know yet.  I may still have to reveal my medical status when
the need arises.

Martin and Michael made me promise to visit them.  We planned on meeting
like this: they would come to London for one weekend; then two weeks later,
I would spend the weekend at their place; then two weeks after that, they'd
come to London again and so on.  The schedule is not strict.  If they or I
had something to do, we could cancel and reschedule.

We decided after that first dinner that it was going to be more convenient
if we were to eat at the same restaurant every time.  The first weekend
that I was scheduled to go to their place, they felt that I should go up to
Edinburgh.  During my stay there, they brought me to a gay pub!  I wasn't
feeling up to it, but they told me that it was just for the experience.  I
must say that it was not too bad there.  We had our drinks and there were
some activity at the centre, but we just kept to our tables and no one
disturbed us.

Martin and Michae made every effort to get me to open up.  They helped me
tremendously.  They understood that I wasn't ready for dating yet, but were
happy just because I had become a happier person.

One Friday, I decided, against my better judgement, to go to one of the gay
clubs in London.  The music was loud and not really my cup of tea, but I
could see that the gay scene in London was not quiet at all.  I got a drink
and sat at the bar.  One good looking red head sat next to me and started
to talk.

"Hi there, I've never seen you here before, you're new, aren't you?"

"Yes, my first time," I said.  Then I became more courageous and said with
a grin, "I may've been away from the scene for a while, but that is an old
pick-up line."

He broke into a small smile, much like when one was blushing.  However the
lights in the place were not enough for me to be sure if he was really
blushing.

"My name's Will."

"Hi, I'm Harry."

"What a coincidence!" I exclaimed rather superficially, "We are dead
ringers for the royal family!"

He laughed.  "Yeah, Will and Harry.  Who would've thought?"

"You come here often?" I asked

"Yeah, every weekend.  It gets pretty lonely if I stay at home."

"You look kind of young.  Are you sure you're allowed in here?"

"Now look whose trying the pick-up lines," teased Harry.

"Aww!  I just wanted to know your age.  I'm thirty-two by the way."

"You're old!" he said with a grin.  "I'm twenty-five."

"So you're going to leave me and look for a younger guy?" I teased.

"Well, I'll settle for you.  An older guy is good once in a while."

I didn't like the sound of the last sentence because I had my suspicions on
what he was getting at.  I decided to change the topic.

"You look like you're the academic type.  Doing post graduate studies?"

"No!  I'm not that nerdy!  I'm a mechanic.  I work in South London.  What
do you do?"

"I'm a pencil pusher.  I work as a filing clerk.  You could call me a
nerd."

"Wow!  You certainly don't look like a clerk.  You look more like you do
physical work.  You sure have the build of a soldier or some kind of
worker."

"Well, we can't judge from appearances."

He drank his last portion of his drink and asked, "so do you want to go?"

"Go?" I asked.

"Yeah, let's get some action together.  You're one hot man."

If it were eight years ago, I'd have jumped up and followed him.  He was a
looker as well.  However, my mind was on one other thing.  "No, Harry, I
can't."

He looked disappointed.  "What do you mean you can't?  Aren't I good enough
for you?  You were coming on to me."

"I'm sorry if you thought ... I mean I like you ..."

"So let's go!"

"I want to be your friend, not just to fuck.  I can't do it with you
without knowing you."

"We can fuck first and then get to know each other," he said with a leer.

"I'm sorry, I can't.  I'm HIV positive."

"So?!  We'll use rubbers!  We'll practise safe sex."

I must admit that I was tempted.  My dick was telling me to follow him.
Then he added something, "... anyway there're drugs.  We don't have to
worry much."

I suddenly felt sick.  Sick of the attitude of this young man.  What was
with him?

I stood up and said, "No Harry.  If you want a dick up your arse, you'll
have to find someone else who has no respect at all for his life!  I'm
looking for someone who has some sense in his head.  I'm looking for
someone who is not reckless and throw away his life for an hour of passion,
if it lasts that long.  No, Harry, if you want to throw away your life, go
ahead, I'm not stopping you but I'm not going to help you throw your life
away."

"Suit yourself.  Sheesh!  You're one uptight arsehole."

I wasn't angry that he called me an arsehole.  In fact, I began to pity
him.  Part of me wished that he'd go through what I went through eight
years ago but another part of me prayed that he would be safe.  I lost my
interest in the pub and left my money on the counter and left.

I walked out and waited for a cab.  About five minutes later, one came by
and stopped.  As I got into the cab, I saw Harry coming out with another
boy.  A boy ... I mean a boy in his mid-twenties.  They reminded me of my
reckless days when I was a 'boy'.  I'm by no means a 'big man' compared to
them, but I'd like to think that I've grown a little more mature.  I hoped
that Harry would find the man of his dreams that night and stop picking up
strangers.  Somehow, I doubted that it would be so.

-----

I was behind a beautiful boy.  He couldn't have been more than twenty.  His
skin was immaculately clear and tanned.  His buttocks were muscular and
tight.  I was moving in and out of him.  He was groaning, calling out for
more.  I moved faster and faster until the familiar feeling of fulfillment
overcame me.  He shouted in pleasure as I emptied myself in him.  When I
had stopped ejaculating, he moved and my dick came out of his beautiful
behind.  I felt my dick and I stopped breathing.  I was not wearing a
rubber.  I had just infected the boy ...

I woke up panting.  My bed was sticky with semen but the pleasure that came
with that wet dream was not what was foremost in my mind.  It was the
horror that I had infected someone.

I calmed myself down and reminded myself that it was a dream.  My mind was
playing the prophecy game.  What if this was a premonition?  What if I
actually succumb to the temptations?  What if ...  I pushed the thoughts
out.  I had to get my sheets changed and washed.  I couldn't allow
Mrs. Lowry to do the washing.  It wouldn't be right.  She shouldn't have to
come into contact with my body fluids.  I was glad that the doctor reminded
me that I should have something to prevent semen from staining the bed.
The plastic sheet that I put between the bed and the sponge comforter had
helped.

I took all the bed linen and tossed it into my washer.  I set the
temperature to high and added my own special mixture of bleach, detergent
and disinfectant into the washer and turned it on.  Mrs. Lowry had
commented once that I had no sense of colour.  If only she knew why ...

-----

to be continued