Date: Sat, 24 Jun 2006 09:25:08 -0400
From: cgard 43 <cgard43@hotmail.com>
Subject: The Art of Love 16

Comments welcome to Cgard43@hotmail.com


Part 29

Darren:

      On Sunday of our week at the cabin, we decided to go to the small
community church in town. They don't get a big crowd, but I've enjoyed the
pastor's sermons in the past and thought it would be a good thing to do.
     The preacher didn't disappoint and the subject of the sermon was love -
not sexual love but the love Jesus taught about it. Both Art and I found the
homily quite uplifting so it was a good experience for both of us, despite
the fact that the church doesn't serve weekly communion.
      After church we went to brunch at a charming little restaurant on the
lakeshore. They have wonderful, home-style food and everything was
delicious. Just as we were served, I noticed a group enter the dining room.
One guy looked very familiar, and I thought surely it was a guy I'd known
somewhat over the years of vacationing here as a teenager. His name was
Marty and we'd had our share of boating and water skiing fun in years past.
      Today he had two people with him: a younger woman and another guy
about the same age as me. Our eyes met and it was instant recognition.
      "Darren, is that you?" he asked as they approached our table.
      "Yeah, Marty, it's me," I answered standing up and shaking his hand.
"How the heck have you been?"
      "You probably don't remember me," the young woman said, and then she
introduced herself as Maria, Marty's sister and about five years younger
than us.
      "And this is my partner Rob," Marty went on, introducing a very
handsome brunette with a killer smile.
      "Oh, I'm sorry," I said. "This is my friend Art who's visiting up here
with me this week." All the men shook hands then.
      "How's Danielle?" Mary asked, and I filled her in on my sister. They'd
obviously known each other, being about the same age.
      After we'd chatted several minutes, Mary excused herself and went to
greet other friends they were brunching with. Marty and Rob stayed and sat
with us a few minutes.
      "Did you say partner?" Art asked very quietly.  Marty and Rob just
nodded.
      "I didn't know..." I started to say.
      "How could you? We haven't seen each other in a long time and things
just happen you know," Marty said with a grin. I laughed, and realized that
was the truth.
      "I'm gay too," I said. "I came out while I was in college."
      "Well, I actually knew about me a long time before that, but I never
had any idea about you," Marty said. "I knew from about age 15 or so."
      "Well, I sure never guessed it," I said.
      "I knew when I was a teenager too," Rob said. It was the first time
he'd spoken and he had a deep bass voice.
      "I guess I'm the dumb one," Art said with a laugh. "I just came out a
few months ago."
      "Are you guys partners?" Marty asked.
      "We're getting there, I think," I answered as Art nodded.
      All in all, it was a pleasant rendezvous with an old acquaintance.
We'd never really been that close, but hearing what he'd said about his
teenage years, I realized he must have been going through a lot of
self-doubt and questioning at the time we'd been palling around together.
He'd just seemed quiet to me at the time. I couldn't help but reflect that
we could have helped each other if we'd known then what we know now.
      As we started the leave the restaurant, Art whispered something to me
that I thought a wonderful idea. I walked over to where Rob and Marty were
sitting at a table by themselves.
      "We're going to take a picnic to the parade and fireworks tomorrow
night," I said. "You guys want to join us?"
      They accepted eagerly and we made plans to pick them up so we'd just
have one vehicle.
      On Labor Day, the town has a parade in the late afternoon followed by
fireworks in the park on the lakefront starting just before sunset. Art and
I had already decided to make up a picnic meal and take it with us to the
parade and then wait around for the fireworks.
We packed up our meal in a big picnic basket my Mom left at the cabin: some
hot soup in a large thermos, a big chicken salad in a special dish that had
an ice pack built into it to keep food cold, plus a pasta salad. Marty and
Rob had promised to bring dessert so we were set. We took along a thermos of
martinis as well as two bottles of wine.
      As we drove to Marty's folks house, Art made an interesting comment.
      "Isn't it strange," he said, "How people seem to be coming out
everywhere around us now."
      "I think it's a sign of the times," I said, "But maybe it's also
because we're being more open about ourselves as well."
      "I noticed you didn't introduce me as your partner yesterday," he
said.
      "I didn't want to make you uncomfortable," I said. "For that matter, I
didn't know if you really thought of us that way." We were stopped at a
stoplight, one of the few in town.
      He cocked his head at me and spoke very quietly.
      "Of course, Darren," he said. "I love you."
      "I love you too," I said with a smile. He took my hand in his and held
it as he drove on.
      Marty and Rob were all ready when we got to the house and they put
their picnic stuff in the back with ours. They also had a thermos I
suspected was some kind of cocktail so we were all set.
      "I know just the place to set up our party," Marty said with a grin.
"It's quite private and very pretty."
      We parked at the waterfront and walked to his special place, Art and I
carrying the picnic hamper and a large blanket while the guys carried their
dessert and the wine.
      The place Marty had chosen was very nice indeed. It was behind a copse
of large trees and therefore pretty well hidden from the large open area of
the park, yet it had a completely unrestricted view out onto the lake where
the fireworks would be done.
      "How'd you ever find this place, Marty?" Rob asked. "It's beautiful
and really private."
      "That's a secret, but I'll explain it all when we get set up," Marty
answered.
      In a matter of minutes, we had the picnic stuff all arranged and we
relaxed with a drink. Conversation flowed smoothly between all four of us.
      "Okay, now tell us about finding this place," Rob said to Marty.
      "Okay, but quietly. See, here's the deal. When I had just turned
eighteen, I met a guy here at the park. I wasn't exactly cruising, but when
I saw him, I was pretty sure that he was into guys as well so we just kind
of hung around talking and stuff. He was visiting family here at the lake
and was going to be leaving the next day he told me.
      "So, I figured I could get a little more forward and just flat out
asked him if he was gay. Pretty brazen, huh?"
      We all acknowledged that it was pretty forward on his part.
      "So the guy says 'yeah' and asked about me. So I confirmed that I was
gay and that I found him attractive. He then said 'come on' and led me to
this spot. He told me another guy had taken him here a few days earlier, so
pretty soon we were back here playing around."
      "You mean sex right here in the open?" Art asked incredulously.
      "Well, it wasn't really that big a deal," Marty said. "Today the park
is crowded because of the holiday, but that day there wasn't anyone around."
      "How old a guy was he?" Rob asked. He almost sounded a bit piqued, but
he tried to keep his voice casual.
      "Probably about twenty-two or so," Marty said. "Don't worry, Rob, it
was strictly a one-time thing, you know that, and it was six or seven years
ago."
      Suddenly we heard the band playing and all walked to the edge of the
park and watched as the parade passed. It was a small-town affair with VFW
and other groups marching along with the local school band and some baton
twirlers. The band was playing patriotic signs and there was a mini
drum-and-bugle corps too. In other words, real small town America and quite
fun to watch.
       "I love parades," Rob said, unabashedly wiping a tear from his eyes
as the rest of us smiled at him. Afterward, we strolled back to our picnic
area and within an hour or so, other groups had assembled in the large, open
park area with their own picnics.
      Conversation within our foursome moved on to other subjects, and they
both really were very likeable guys although they had a tendency to bicker
and disagree over the smallest things, albeit in a playful way. They
explained that they lived together about four hours away from here and
admitted that they only came up to the cabin when Marty's parents weren't
there.
      "It's not that we don't get along," he said, "It's just that we like
to be able to completely relax and they always want to organize things for
us to all do together. It's just more fun when we're here on our own."
      "I wish we'd run into you sooner," I said. "We were out water skiing
and boating last week and we could have had fun together."
      "Oh, we just drove up yesterday. Mary was here last week, but she's
all wrapped up with her girl and boy friends."
      The picnic was fun, and we all got alone fine. After we'd eaten, Rob
and Art went off in search of a restroom and Marty and I stayed behind to
clean up the stuff.
      "It's really something, meeting you again after all these years,"
Marty continued. "Imagine all the fun we missed when we were kids." I had to
laugh at that; it had never occurred to me that Marty or I were gay back
then. Who knows, something might have happened.
      "That's a good looking guy you've got there," Marty said with a big
grin. "You guys make a great couple."
      "Well, we're taking it slow," I said, "Art hasn't been out that long
and I really don't want to put any pressure on him about making a
commitment."
      "I believe you mean what you're saying, Darren," he countered, "But
the way he looks at you tells me he's totally hooked. It's clear that he's
crazy about you. You know that, don't you?"
       I didn't get to answer as the guys came back just then so I just
winked at Marty and let it go at that.
       The fireworks, while not spectacular big city style, were fun and we
all went 'oooh' and 'aaah' repeatedly, laughing at ourselves as we did so.
By now it was getting fairly dark and the two couples kind of cuddled, but
not in any way being too overt.  When the fireworks show was over, we
gathered up our stuff and headed back to the car and drove the guys.
      We said we'd be leaving in a few days, but Marty promised to call so
we could exchange personal information and try to keep in touch.
      "Maybe we can make it an annual event, being here for Labor Day?" Rob
said. "I think that would be fun." We all agreed but no definite plans were
made.
      When we got back to the cabin, Art became very quiet indeed as we
unpacked the hamper and put the stuff away.   He walked out onto the
screened porch and sat down in a chair, looking somewhat depressed.
      "What's the matter?" I asked as I followed him into the porch and sat
down across from him. When he looked at me, I knew something was really
bothering him.
      "What's up, babe?" I asked. Art gave me a long, silent look before he
spoke.
      "You know what? I've never been jealous of anyone at all in my life
before today." I must have looked surprised because he smiled.
      "I mean it," Art said, "I've never been jealous of guys who were rich
or guys who had it easier than me. But today I'm feeling jealous and upset
for the first time in my life." I was stumped and probably my face showed
it.
       "What do you mean?" I finally said.
       "Well, it's just this," Art answered quietly, "I want you so badly. A
couple of weeks ago we were with Joe and Fred and I saw them as a couple.
Then today it was these two guys. It just makes me feel kind of jealous not
to have what they have."
      "What do you mean?" I asked.
      "I mean I want you and me to be partners...together, a couple, like
they are." It made me smile but I was concerned by his anguished tone.
     "I get the feeling you don't really think of us as a couple - you know,
as partners?" Art said.
      "That's not true," I said quietly, taking his hands in mine. "That's
not true at all." He looked me in the eyes but he didn't speak.
      "Are you willing to make that kind of commitment?" I asked.  "You know
I promised you that I'd never push you on anything like this."


Part 30

Art:
      I guess I should have realized that Darren was waiting for me to
initiate the conversation about commitment. He was the one who had always
known who he was; I was the one who'd finally figured it out.
     "Oh crap," I said. "I hadn't thought about it that way. Here I was
waiting for you to say something and you wanted me to make the first move."
Darren just nodded his head.
      "I'm sorry, Art," Darren said. "I just couldn't push you. Remember,
that was the promise I made to you from the start."
      "I understand that, but I want it more than you can ever know," I said
very quietly. "And it's very important to me. I don't think I can imagine my
life without you in it." Darren thought about it a minute.
      "I know what you mean," Darren answered. "I feel the same way about
you. But tell me, why is this so important right now?"
      "It's important because I want you to tell me that you want me - not
just now but forever. I want you to love me always."
      "Oh, Art, you don't know how I've wanted to hear you say that. I've
prayed that you wanted me that way but I could never ask."
      Darren's face split with an incredible smile, but he went on talking.
      "This week has convinced me that we belong together. I love you and I
believe you love me.  More than that, I feel that we complement each other
very well. We're pretty good in bed too!" This last was accompanied by
another big grin.
      "Yes," I answered finally. "I'm sure I love you and I think we're even
better suited to each other than those two guys today. That's why I really
needed to know how you felt. I just don't think I could have stood it if you
didn't want me that way too."
      Darren's eyes started to fill with tears and then I realized I was
having the same problem.
      "Oh God, I love you," I said, putting my arms around him and pulling
him toward me.
      "I love you too," he answered. Then our lips touched and we kissed,
but it's hard to kiss when you're crying and right then we both were.
      Once we'd calmed down again we sat holding each other.
      "I feel like I've finally found my life," I said. "It's like I was
waiting all my life for you. Everything that happened to me before now was
just me waiting until you showed up."
      "Me too," Darren said. "I never thought about it that way before. I
love you and feel completely at ease with you. Art, I want you to be mine
forever."
      I kissed him passionately when he said that and I knew that I was the
happiest man on earth.
      "I am yours forever, Darren, if you'll be mine."
      I don't think I'd ever felt the euphoria I knew right then. I
certainly hadn't felt it when I'd married my wife; she was a smart,
attractive and a nice person, but she had never caused the emotional
fulfillment that Darren had given me that evening.
      We held each other for hours, kissing and snuggling together.
      "Take me to bed," Darren said very quietly after a long time. "Take me
and love me and tell me again and again that you're mine."
      We did that a lot that night and it was wonderful. The next morning
when I woke up, I had to just lie there, taking in Darren's handsome face
and telling myself that he was mine. He loved me.
        We couldn't wait to share the news when we got home two days later.
Darren called Dennis and George as well as his parents; I called my sister
and then Joe and Fred. Everyone was as happy and enthusiastic as we were.
      After talking to my sister, I even made plans to go and visit my Mom
and to come out to her and introduce her to her new son-in-law. My sister
was reassuring about my Mom. I hoped it would go well, but it didn't really
matter to me. I had the guy I wanted and that's what made me so happy.

      I won't go on with epilogues or projecting the future, but Darren and
I have had a wonderful life together.
      We've often talked about how we got off to a slow start and questioned
things as we went along. I realize it was mostly a matter of me finding
myself, belated as that was, but I think in a way it was good for both
Darren and me to proceed slowly as well.
      We both believe that falling in love slowly may be better, at least
for us, than the famous love-at-first-sight deal that works for some other
people.  The way things turned out suited us both just fine.

The End
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